All language subtitles for The.Wayans.Bros.S02E14_Engh

Man, this is the second day
in a row without any heat.

I'm about to call this
management company up

and give 'em a piece of my mind.

Yeah, well, let me listen.

I wanna hear what
lie
they use this time.

[recorded message]
'Hello. Thank you for calling
RNG Property Management.'

'If you have a question
about billing, press one.'

'About rentals, press two.'

'For noisy neighbors,
press three.'

'Wondering why your furniture
is on the street, press four.'

'Dead body next door,
press five.'

We're almost dead.

Press five.

[theme song]

♪ We're brothers ♪

♪ We're happy
and we're singing ♪

♪ And we're colored ♪

♪ Give me a high five ♪♪

(male 1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful, guys.'

'Dynamite. That is..'

♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪

♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪

♪ I got something.. ♪♪

Here, you go,father.

Oh, thanks, son.

Hey, pop.
Whoa, man, what are you doing?

You just put dirty dishes
in the soup.

Oh, lord have mercy.

What am I thinking?

And what did I do
with the dishwater?

Man, this soup is slammin'.

It's so lemony fresh, man.

And check out the spoon.

I can see myself.

Hey, Shawn, man.

I think something's
wrong with pop.

- He's acting all crazy.
- Oh, yeah?

- Yeah.
- How could you tell?

Hey, you gave me
a nickel too
much.

Uh, no problem.
Uh-uh, just keep it.

Man, this is serious.

Hey, pop.

You don't look so good, man.

Huh? You're no Harry Belafonte
yourself.

Pops, the boys are right.

You do seem a little
out of it.

If you're comin' onto me

that hand gotta goway

This man is talkin' outta
his head with fever.

You need to get him to a doctor.

Oh, nonsense.
I don't believe in doctors.

Besides, I have work to do.

Come on, pop. You can't
work when you are sick.

Of course I can.

I haven't missed a day
in this diner, since, you
know..

- Achoo!
- Hey, man.

Don't you think it's
unhealthy
working around food

while spewing germs
in every direction?

Nonsense.
That's an old wives' tale.

[sneezing]

But don't worry,
the heat'll kill the germs.

- Achoo!
- Hey, man!

- Oh!
- Hey, come on, hold up.

Don't be so sensitive,
y'all.
Where are you going?

Hey, now, this is
just a cold, man.

It was just a little sneeze.

God!

Ah..

- Thank you, son.
- You got it, pop.

Choo!

Man, you're worse than that
little monkey from "Outbreak."

Achoo!

(Marlon)
Okay, Pops. It's all ready.

(Pops)
Help me to the bed.
I gotta lie down.

I know you gotta lie down,
you are breaking my neck.

- Ow!
- What's the matter, pop?

I feel a sharp pain,
I hope I didn't crack my hip.

You're sittin'
on the TV remote,
man.

Calm down, pop.

The doctor gave you
a full examination

and said
all you have was a cold

and the crustiest feet
he ever seen.

Yeah, but what did he say
when I was outside the room?

Pop, the man just wanted
to know if you had insurance.

Oh! See, they only wanna know
that if you're a goner.

Pop, man,
what is the matter with
you?

I've never seen you
act
like this before.

I've never been this close
to the Grim Reaper before.

You know, boys

when I was
in the doctor's office

I saw that bright light
they always talk about.

Pops, that was the eye-exam.

Look, pop, the doctor said

all you gotta do is rest up
for a couple of days

and you'll be
bang-bang-banging in no
time.

That's the same thing
they told your Uncle Tony.

He went to sleep
and never woke up again.

That's 'cause Aunt
Sylvia
lit his bed on fire.

Look, pop, if you are that
worried I'mma call mom

and tell her come back
from Atlantic City.

Hell, no.

You know how ornery
she'd get if you pull her
away

from those nickel slots.

I'll be fine.

- You sure?
- Yes, I'm sure.

- Alright.
- Alright.

As long as I got my boys to
nurse me back to good health.

[softly]
Damn!

Uh, alright, Pops, well..

...Marlon's gonna stay
here
with you.

'Cause..

Don't you remember that
time
when pop stood in line

all night long just to
get you
some Run-DMC tickets.

Or what about that
time
he lied and told ma

he was the one that broke
her
James Brown cookie jar.

And who was the one
that surprised you

on your 13th birthday
with that drum set,
huh?

Okay. Alright.
Okay, okay, alright.

You are right.
I should take care of him.

Alright, I'm out.

Hey, wait a minute.

He did all that stuff for you.

Yeah, well,
he would have done it for
you

if you was his favorite.

Aye! Hey!

Who's gonna rub me
down with Vicks?

Your favorite...Shawn.

I can't, pop. I-I-I gotta
go run the newsstand.

Yeah, well,
I gotta run the
diner.

Well, who's gonna
take care of me?

[bell ringing]

[indistinct chatter on TV]

Boy, Pat Sager's
got a big head.

[TV switches off]

Alright, Pops.
What is it now?

My pillow's gone flat.

Man, I just plumped it
five minutes ago.

I guess you didn't do
such a good job.

My back is killing me.

Take advice from
an old-timer, son.

Enjoy your youth while you can.

How can I? I already
cleaned your apartment.

I made your meals.

I even scraped the corns
off your feet.

Which reminds me..

...you missed my baby-toe.

Hey, how's our
impatient
patient?

That old man has been working me
like he's given benefits, y'all.

I can't take this no more.

We come too far as a people
to be scraping feet.

I'm out, man.

- Mm-hm-hm!
- Nice goin', Pops.

You and your Grinch feet
just scared off the only
person

that's gonna sit with you.

Oh, I don't care about him.

Although he makes
a me-e-ean baloney sandwich.

I'd rather have my family
take care of me.

And I'd rather have Janet
Jackson give me a tongue bath.

Doesn't mean
it's gonna
happen.

What's wrong with you, boys?

Man, between the newsstand
and the diner

me and Marlon have
been running like

Mark Friedman
at a Fair Con rally.

But I guess it's worth it
to see my pop well again.

Are you nuts?

You can't expect a man my age
to bounce back so quickly?

Shoot!

I'd be lucky if
I can force down that..

...leg of lamb
and those new potatoes.

What leg of lamb
and new potatoes?

The one you're about to go
in the kitchen and cook me up.

- Now, leave.
- Pop.

Damn!

Make me some gravy
and biscuits.

You know how much I love 'em.

Gimme that!
Give me that!

Boy..

...you sound like
an ice-cream man on
crack.

Ice cream!

Stupid bell.

Yo, man, what's wrong with you?

Man, this is whack.

It's not like pop to
take
advantage of a
illness

just to stay at home.

I know, that sounds
more like you.

Ain't that about nothing?

Our own father's playing us.

But you know what?

If he thought the diner
was in trouble

I bet you, he'd be up out
of that bed faster

than Lisa Marie
on her honeymoon.

Yeah.

All we gotta do is find
somebody
to take over the diner

and screw it up.

Hm.

You know, I was halfway
down the block

and I said, "Snap!

I ain't got no shoes on."

(in unison)
Yee-tee-tee!

You mean, I can run the
diner
any way I want.

That's right. You get to put
your own vanilla flavor on
it.

You know what I am saying?

Shawn, Marlon..

...I'm touched, man.

It's not everyday a brother
would give another brother

a chance like that.

Thank you, man.

You're mighty-whitey, man.

My love, man.
Alright, I get to work.

Hey, bet, man,
I won't let you
down.

If you do...you do.

As-salamu-alaykum.

Hakuna matata.

I don't know, Marlon,
man,
I never ran no diner
before.

Don't worry about it.
That's good, Mike.

So, now, you can look at it
through a fresh eye.

Just remember
you can't go wrong.

'Cause you are the manager.

See? You, the man...nager.

- You man...nager.
- I don't know. I don't get
it.

It's a Black thing,
you won't understand.

- Excuse me
- Whoo!

Do you work here?

Huh-huh! Do I work here?

I am only the
manager,
sweet thing.

Yeah, and I'm the owner's son.

See, he takes care of the diner

and I, uh..

...take care of the customers.
Boop!

How nice! We just
joined
the gym next door.

Yeah, and we are looking
for a restaurant

where we can get something
light and healthy.

Well, he's light.

And he's healthy.

We are talking
about health food.

You know, tofu, sprouts.

Do you serve that
sort of thing here?

(together)
Do we serve that sort
of thing here?

Girl, please.

We could whip you up a couple
of porcini mushroom sandwiches

with some grilled
vegetables
on the side.

- Hmm.
- We could?

Great, I love a
man
who's into
nutrition.

Oh, well, you like nutrition.

You wait till you try Marlon's
fat-free cheesecake.

- Fat-free?
- Ooh!

Mm-hmm.

And if you are good

I'll serve a little extra
Marlon on the side.

This place is perfect.

We'll be back
right after the class.

- Okay, alright.
- Alright.

Hey, girls,
if you all need a towel
boy

don't hesitate
to give me a
call.

(in unison)
Yeah.

I'm gonna start
chopping
vegetables, man.

Hey, Mike, are you sure you
want
to make this health food junk?

Oh, yeah, I mean when I was
growing up on Long Island

our cook was a vegetarian.

Your cook?

No, I mean my mama
bought a Veg-O-Matic..

...at the thrift store
in the projects, boy.

Boy, the closest thing
you come to the
projects

was watching "Good Times."

Hey, what's up
with these cheesecakes?

It it really fat-free?

Well, actually, the
cheesecake
is $3.50 a slice

but the fat is free.

Ay, pop.

- Ow!
- Oh, sorry.

Hey, man,
we brought you some
lunch.

It's the Tuesday special.

This don't look
like my meatloaf.

Oh, that's 'cause it's
tofu-loaf
and soya cheese.

What the hell is going on here?

Well, pop, Mike thinks the
diner
needs healthier food.

Mike?

You're not talking about
"It's all good, Mike?"

Don't tell me that boy
is working in my diner.

- Oh, no, no.
- Oh, no. Of course not, pop.

- Thank God.
- He's running it.

What?

This is my own fault.
Get-get out of my way.

I should have known not to
leave
the diner in your hands.

I am the only who can run it.

But, pop,
don't you need your rest?

Here, pop. You ain't supposed
to be up out of bed.

- Don't you need your rest?
- I'll rest when I am dead.

Right now, I am going down
to save my diner.

Okay.

Hurry up. Ah! What are you
tryin' to do, kill me?

- You gotta take it easy,
man.
- Give me my hat.

Hey, pop,
you might have a relapse.

- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Be careful, man.

[laughing]

Here's your cheesecake,
my chocolate yoo-hoos.

What's goin' on here?

(Shawn)
That's what I wanna know.

This place is packed.

Hey, I got one word for y'all.

Cheesecake.
enough of it, man.

Oh, no.

What's this, man?

You've changed my menu?

Oh, have some beet juice, Pops.
It'll calm you down.

The only thing that will be
beat
around here is your butt

if you don't put my menu back.

Pops, relax.
It's working,
man.

Just look at the receipts.

Ain't nothin' but zeros here.

Move your thumb.

Whoo! Man!

This is just fat-food, man.

Your regular customers
are never gonna go for this.

Yeah, I don't
know
about that, man.

Take a look at ol'
Grady
and Rollo over there.

More ginseng tea here.

Better make it double.

I've never seen
the diner this busy.

Hey, hey, to be honest
with you, pop

I don't think Mike
can handle this.

As a matter of fact,
right now it's the perfect
time

for you to step in
and take over.

That's right, Pop.

See, now the diner needs
you
more than ever.

You the man, pop.
You the man.

- You the man.
- You the man.

- No, no, no, no.
- Come on, do your thing, man.

Look like you boys
got everything under control.

I guess I'll just head on home.

Home? But, pop,
you just got here,
man?

I know.

This is a young man's game.

I see that now.

The last thing you need is an
old man all in your way.

Y'all keep up
the good work though.

It's time for me to move on.

[panting]

Yo, pop.
What's the big emergency, man?

I want you boys to run
to the market for me.

I came clear across
town
for that?

Pop, the least you can be
doing
is lying on the floor

in a puddle of
blood
or somethin'.

Sorry to disappoint you.

I ran out of my grape Kool-Aid.

And why can't you
get that yourself?

These mean streets are no place
for an old broke down

black man like me.

Oh, pop, just 'cause you
smell
like moth balls and Bengay

don't mean you old.

Yeah, pop, you can't sit
around eatin' prunes

and watchin' "Matlock"
for the rest of your life.

I don't intend to.

It's gonna be
"Murder, she wrote."

That Angela Lansbury
is one foxy mama.

Oh, yeah, I'm plannin' on
enjoyin' my retirement.

Retirement, Pop?

Yo, gee,
what about the
diner?

That health food joint?

With all those young kids
runnin' around?

They don't need me.

Oh, come on, pop,
don't talk like that.

Your diner's your life, man.

Why don't you just
come on down to the
diner

and work the lunch rush?

Can't. I already got
big plans for today.

Like what?

Pickin' out my headstone..

...and writing my epitaph.

Here lies Pop Williams.

Shh! Don't tell nobody.

[instrumental music]

Hey, Shawn. You know what?

I've been thinkin', man.

So, you wanna go in the
back
and lay down?

No, I'm serious.

Maybe pop has the right idea
about retirement, man.

Are you buggin', man?

Pops' still got a
couple
of good years left in
him.

Shawn, think about it.
What's so bad about retiring?

You don't have to work,
you can make your own schedule

you can just lie back and chill.

Hell, no wonder why
you
think it's so good.

You've been retired
since high school.

All I'm sayin' is pop's been
workin' like a slave.

It's about time he retired.

You're not talkin' about
Pops retirin', are you?

- Marlon is. Why?
- Take it from me.

Kiss of death,
beginning of the end, last
gasp.

- How would you know?
- Mother, of course.

I remember the day that she
retired from Mary Kay Cosmetics

and took up her second career.

It was a pain in my butt.

Well, it's good to
see
you ain't bitter
about it.

You know, when she was workin'
she was fun, full of life.

Once she retired she stopped
goin' out, stopped cookin'

stopped puttin' in her teeth.

Hey, we don't gotta
worry about that.

- Pop got his own teeth.
- Stay with me now.

In no time at all,
mother
had moved into my place

in her housecoat and curlers.

Now all she does is
park
in front of the TV

with a bag of prunes..

...look at reruns..

...of "Murder, she wrote."

Oh, damn, we in trouble.

This is the best cheesecake
I have ever eaten.

Thank you kindly.

Usually, fat-free food
doesn't taste this good.

What? What are you
talkin' about?

That's regular ol'
cheesecake.
That ain't fat-free.

What?

Marlon, you lyin' little
Q-Tip head.

Hey, hey, hey, hey..

It's not a lie.

It's creative advertising.

Yeah. And my butt's
the bill, boy?

This is the third slice
I had today.

You didn't have to
tell us that.

- Marlon, you a dead man.
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.

I didn't know
it was gonna go this far.

I was just tryin' to push up
on some honeys.

Who knew I was
a marketing genius?

Yo, those girls ain't
gonna see it that way.

Yeah, and neither
will your father.

If he finds out,
he's gonna have a
fit.

Wait a minute.

Maybe that's exactly
what he needs.

You know what
I'm talkin' about, Marlon?

No.

[vehicles honking]

Goodnight, there.

Wait, wait, wait.
What are you doing?

This is your fourth time
up and down those stairs.

Figure about 500 more of these

I should work off half a
slice
of that cheesecake.

Yeah, well, we better
get to this diner

'cause pop will be here
any minute.

Hey, uh, Dee?

Now, you remember
what to do right?

- Yeah, act angry.
- Right.

Be a piece of cake.

Cheesecake.

Afternoon, boys.

- 'Say, what's up, pop?'
- 'Hey, what's up?'

Got a little something for you.

Ooh, me first, pop.
Me first, please.

Settle down,
there's plenty for
everybody.

It's arts and crafts
day
at the senior
center.

Oh, pop, wow.

- What is this?
- Pot holders.

You hold pots with those.
I made those.

Man, I ain't seen
a weave this bad

since Diana Ross
played
at Central Park.

Yeah, well, Pops, you probably
worked up quite an appetite

makin' these little,
uh, kufis.

Let's go get some milk.

Hey, hey! Look who's here.

- Yeah, it's pop.
- Hello, Pops.

Just a retiree..

...having
lunch,
that's all.

Alright, that is two diet sodas

and two slices
of fat-free cheesecake.

Cuckoo!

Oh, my Lord, look what I found.

- What?
- This cheesecake box.

Mrs. Butterball's
double fig
cheesecake

with Graham cracker
butter crust.

Butter?

You said this was
a health food restaurant.

Uh-huh. Hey, don't look at me.

But you're the manager.

Yeah, but...he's the manager
of desserts.

Sellout!

I got some seaweed to clean.
Late.

You get back here.

Listen to this girls.

The label says it's
a 172 grams of fat per slice.

- What?
- He said it was fat-free.

So what? So it has a little
bit
of fat, it's just cheesecake.

I mean how bad could that be?

I've gained four pounds since
I started eating that stuff.

You? I'm up to a size three.

You too, girl? Don't you hate
when that happens?

Now, just calm down, ladies.

It's nothing
to be concerned
about.

If you ask me,
you all look
beautiful.

But I can pinch a quarter
of an inch on my waist.

Well, I could pinch two
inches
somewhere else.

I can't see my ribs anymore.

What's wrong with that?

A man likes a woman with
a little meat on her
bones.

I heard that.

Wouldn't you rather cuddle
up
to a soft fluffy pillow?

Or a skinny hard stick?

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Sometimes the stick
can do the trick.

You know, Pops, since
I gained this weight

my boyfriend has wanted
to cuddle a lot.

And I haven't been passing out
nearly as much.

You see, there?

Life is too short to cheat
yourself of the things

that you like.

You mean like runnin' the diner?

Just think,
the thrill of
overcharging.

The challenge of makin'

three-day-old doughnuts
look fresh.

This is a sweet feeling.

The secret is in the powdered
sugar, you know that, don't
you?

But shh!

(together)
Don't tell nobody.

Hey, Pops, you know
what time it is?

- Lunch time.
- Mmm-mm-hmm!

Tuesday, you know
what that means.

Meatloaf and,
macaroni and cheese.

(all)
Ooh!

Where's my spatula?
I gotta make lunch.

- Yes!
- Yeah!

- Pops is back in business.
- Pops is back in business.

- Pops is back in business.
- Pops is back in business.

Hey!

- You know what this means?
- What?

Free cheesecake for everybody.

[all cheering]

Boy, are you crazy?

That's funny, that's funny..

He means free water.

Haven't I taught you something?

Okay, okay.

You kids can have me
at no extra charge

with whipped cream
and strawberries.

And, as you can
see,
I'm-I'm fat-free.

[recorded message]
'Refund on security deposit,
press 88. And good luck.'

'Bomb threats, press 89.
Poltergeist, press 90.'

(male 2)
'RNG management,
thank you for waiting.'

'How can I help you?'

[humming]

'Hello?'

- Uh, hey!
- 'Hello?'

'Lousy crank calls.'

(Shawn)
Look up, Marlon.
Say cheese.