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1
00:00:01,250 --> 00:00:03,300
[heavy breathing]
2
00:00:03,333 --> 00:00:04,383
You ready?
3
00:00:06,660 --> 00:00:07,660
Yeah, I'm ready.
4
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:09,100
You think we can take 'em all?
5
00:00:09,133 --> 00:00:11,233
We're ready for 'em this time.
6
00:00:11,266 --> 00:00:13,276
- Hey, Shawn?
- 'Yeah?'
7
00:00:14,383 --> 00:00:16,173
If somethin' happens to me..
8
00:00:16,200 --> 00:00:17,230
...I want you to know
I love you.
9
00:00:17,266 --> 00:00:19,246
I love you too, man.
10
00:00:22,830 --> 00:00:23,300
Here they come.
11
00:00:23,333 --> 00:00:25,323
Take no prisoners.
12
00:00:26,316 --> 00:00:29,316
[whispering]
One, two, three.
13
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:31,330
[screaming]
14
00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:34,156
I hate roaches!
15
00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:36,350
[both grunting]
16
00:00:36,383 --> 00:00:39,333
I got one in my hair!
I got one in my hair!
17
00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:40,220
[grunts]
18
00:00:43,283 --> 00:00:45,273
I got it, Marlon.
19
00:00:45,300 --> 00:00:46,280
Marlon?
20
00:00:48,660 --> 00:00:50,330
Marl? Hey, Marl?
21
00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:52,346
[theme song]
22
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:55,300
♪ We're brothers ♪
23
00:00:55,333 --> 00:00:58,283
♪ We're happy and we're
singin'
and we're colored ♪
24
00:01:00,150 --> 00:01:02,300
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
25
00:01:02,333 --> 00:01:04,503
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.'
26
00:01:04,830 --> 00:01:06,300
'Beautiful, guys.
Dynamite. That is..'
27
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:09,203
♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪
28
00:01:09,233 --> 00:01:11,383
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
29
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,130
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
30
00:01:14,166 --> 00:01:16,246
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
31
00:01:16,283 --> 00:01:19,333
♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪
32
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:21,330
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
33
00:01:21,660 --> 00:01:23,330
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
34
00:01:23,366 --> 00:01:25,366
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
35
00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,220
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪♪
36
00:01:39,316 --> 00:01:41,096
Ah, yes.
37
00:01:41,133 --> 00:01:43,833
A jewel for my jewel.
38
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:45,200
I sure can pick 'em.
39
00:01:46,266 --> 00:01:48,246
[door opens]
40
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,370
If you're busy,
I can come back later.
41
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,160
Oh, oh, no, no,
check this out, check this
out.
42
00:02:10,500 --> 00:02:11,170
Come on, man.
I don't wanna see that.
43
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,660
No, no, no.
44
00:02:13,100 --> 00:02:14,130
I'm not talkin' about that.
45
00:02:14,166 --> 00:02:16,156
I'm talkin' about this ring.
46
00:02:16,500 --> 00:02:17,180
Look, I bought it
for Lisa's
birthday.
47
00:02:17,216 --> 00:02:18,326
- Oh, word.
- Yes.
48
00:02:18,366 --> 00:02:20,216
See, it even got a real diamond.
49
00:02:20,250 --> 00:02:21,250
Where?
50
00:02:21,283 --> 00:02:22,323
There.
51
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:24,160
Where?
52
00:02:25,116 --> 00:02:26,296
- There.
- Where?
53
00:02:28,500 --> 00:02:29,320
Man, let's see that.
54
00:02:32,183 --> 00:02:34,123
Tilt your eye up.
55
00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:36,170
Forty-five degree angle. There.
56
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:40,203
Oh, okay, okay, I see it,
I see it, I see it.
57
00:02:40,233 --> 00:02:42,253
I thought that was
a grain of salt.
58
00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,270
Maybe I won't
mention
the diamond.
59
00:02:48,116 --> 00:02:49,166
What's that?
60
00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:50,280
Another parkin' ticket.
61
00:02:50,316 --> 00:02:52,996
Damn, Marlon.
Which one of the words
62
00:02:53,330 --> 00:02:56,500
"No Parking"
can't you understand?
63
00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:58,130
Shawn, it's that
alternate-side
of-the-street thing.
64
00:02:58,166 --> 00:02:59,166
I can't get it.
65
00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:00,370
Okay. I got a ticket, right?
66
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,380
So I park my car on
the other side of the
street.
67
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,500
The next day
I get another ticket.
68
00:03:07,660 --> 00:03:08,380
Look, that's
ten tickets for me
69
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,130
and 13 tickets for you.
70
00:03:10,166 --> 00:03:12,326
Now, as soon as we pay
all these tickets off
71
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:13,130
we're sellin' that car.
72
00:03:13,166 --> 00:03:15,496
Shawn, you can't sell my car.
73
00:03:15,830 --> 00:03:16,180
Where am I gonna take a girl
74
00:03:16,216 --> 00:03:17,346
when you and Lisa
are in the apartment?
75
00:03:17,383 --> 00:03:20,503
- You take girls to that
car?
- Yeah.
76
00:03:20,830 --> 00:03:21,250
It doesn't even move.
77
00:03:21,283 --> 00:03:24,333
It moves, alright.
78
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:26,100
Boy, oh, boy,
does it move.
79
00:03:26,133 --> 00:03:28,203
Shawn, when I'm in there
with Mustache Sally..
80
00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:31,183
...it'd be movin' and shakin'.
81
00:03:31,216 --> 00:03:34,656
I don't care what you say.
That car's a piece of junk.
82
00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,120
- No, it's not.
- It's a menace to society,
man.
83
00:03:36,150 --> 00:03:38,000
No, it's not, besides
84
00:03:38,330 --> 00:03:40,660
Bentley's pops said he was
gonna
fix it for me, Shawn.
85
00:03:40,100 --> 00:03:43,500
Bentley's pops?
Bentley's pops had a
stroke.
86
00:03:43,830 --> 00:03:45,120
He's still got feelin'
in his right hand.
87
00:03:46,333 --> 00:03:49,123
Come on, man,
you can't sell my car.
88
00:03:49,150 --> 00:03:50,280
What am I gonna do
without a car?
89
00:03:50,316 --> 00:03:52,316
A man needs his car, Shawn.
90
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,300
- Just take the bus, man.
- Hey.
91
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:57,323
Hey, my birthday girl.
92
00:03:57,350 --> 00:03:59,380
And there's the man I love.
93
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,300
I just stopped by to
say hi on my way to
class.
94
00:04:02,333 --> 00:04:05,253
Wow! Would you look
at this watch?
95
00:04:05,283 --> 00:04:08,123
See? Now, that's a diamond.
96
00:04:08,150 --> 00:04:10,200
That's like starin' at the sun
97
00:04:10,233 --> 00:04:12,663
or lookin' at a candle
98
00:04:12,100 --> 00:04:14,280
or gettin' beat upside
your head by a cop's
flashlight.
99
00:04:16,160 --> 00:04:18,330
My daddy bought me this
for my birthday.
100
00:04:18,366 --> 00:04:21,156
A diamond watch?
101
00:04:21,500 --> 00:04:22,330
Yeah. Do you like it?
102
00:04:22,366 --> 00:04:26,156
Uh, yeah, it's-it's-it's
nice.
It's a nice watch.
103
00:04:26,500 --> 00:04:28,230
That ain't nothin', Shawn,
show her what you got her.
104
00:04:28,266 --> 00:04:29,316
Shut up.
105
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:33,180
Lisa, this boy got you
somethin' so special
106
00:04:33,216 --> 00:04:35,276
you will never forget it.
107
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,656
Really? Can I see it?
108
00:04:38,100 --> 00:04:40,660
It's not ready yet, um..
109
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,170
...it's being handmade
110
00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,660
and I'mma give it
to you tonight
111
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,330
uh, when I make you
your special
112
00:04:44,366 --> 00:04:46,326
birthday dinner at 7 o'clock.
113
00:04:46,366 --> 00:04:48,116
You're gonna make me dinner?
114
00:04:48,150 --> 00:04:51,330
Yep, and Lisa, when you see
this gift this boy got you
115
00:04:51,366 --> 00:04:53,316
you're gonna faint, girl.
116
00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:55,350
I'mma need some smellin' salts
to wake you up.
117
00:04:55,383 --> 00:04:58,353
I can't wait to see what it is.
118
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,373
Yeah, me neither.
119
00:05:02,250 --> 00:05:04,230
[instrumental music]
120
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:12,100
Ah!
121
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:15,233
Ain't nothin' like a good
cup
of coffee in the mornin'.
122
00:05:15,266 --> 00:05:18,116
Oh, man, this is
my 13th cup this mornin'.
123
00:05:20,500 --> 00:05:22,250
I feel alive! Whoo!
124
00:05:24,366 --> 00:05:27,826
- Hi, Shawn.
- What's up, Pops?
125
00:05:27,116 --> 00:05:28,246
What's the matter, son?
126
00:05:28,283 --> 00:05:30,333
You look sadder than
a fat woman in a G-string.
127
00:05:32,166 --> 00:05:34,326
I'm havin' a little trouble
with Lisa.
128
00:05:34,366 --> 00:05:36,126
All couples go through that now.
129
00:05:36,166 --> 00:05:37,166
This is what you do.
130
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:41,330
Spice things up with costumes.
131
00:05:41,660 --> 00:05:44,230
Last Saturday night, I wore
a red leather matador suit.
132
00:05:44,266 --> 00:05:48,166
Your mama and I had
a little bullfight, you
know.
133
00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:50,500
Not that kind of trouble, Pop.
134
00:05:50,830 --> 00:05:52,160
Good. Because what your
mama and I do in private
135
00:05:52,500 --> 00:05:53,250
is none of your business.
136
00:05:54,266 --> 00:05:56,496
Pops, let me ask you a question.
137
00:05:56,830 --> 00:05:57,170
When you got baptized..
138
00:05:57,200 --> 00:05:59,250
...how long did they
hold you underwater?
139
00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:01,346
Have a cup of coffee, son.
140
00:06:01,383 --> 00:06:03,233
It'll cheer you right up.
Look at me.
141
00:06:03,266 --> 00:06:06,656
I had a whole pot.
I'm happy as a clown.
142
00:06:07,366 --> 00:06:09,196
So what's the problem anyway?
143
00:06:09,233 --> 00:06:11,333
Well, it's Lisa's birthday
144
00:06:11,660 --> 00:06:12,370
and I wanna get her
a really nice gift.
145
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,330
But everything nice
is too expensive.
146
00:06:15,660 --> 00:06:18,200
Well...it is a problem.
147
00:06:18,233 --> 00:06:20,153
Of course, you haven't
looked everywhere yet.
148
00:06:20,183 --> 00:06:23,123
Uh, uh-huh, Pops, you know,
I ain't goin' to the
junkyard.
149
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:25,320
What do you mean a junkyard?
Come on. I ain't Fred
Sanford.
150
00:06:25,350 --> 00:06:27,170
I got some new merchandise in.
151
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:29,350
Come on, Pop, anything you're
sellin', I don't want any.
152
00:06:29,383 --> 00:06:32,323
I'm not telling you to buy
anything. Just take a look.
153
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:35,380
I got some nice gold chains,
look. Looks just like real
gold.
154
00:06:36,160 --> 00:06:38,370
And if I put it on it will
turn
my neck just like real green.
155
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:42,130
Give that back to me.
How about a set of steak
knives?
156
00:06:42,166 --> 00:06:44,326
I'm dating Lisa.
Not Lorena Bobbitt.
157
00:06:44,366 --> 00:06:46,496
'Okay.'
158
00:06:46,830 --> 00:06:48,180
How about a prosthetic foot?
159
00:06:48,216 --> 00:06:50,496
Forget all that stuff, Pops.
You're ill.
160
00:06:50,830 --> 00:06:53,830
- I'mma go have some coffee.
- Good. I think I'll join
you.
161
00:06:56,100 --> 00:06:59,000
Hey, yo, Pops, when's the
health
inspector comin', man?
162
00:06:59,330 --> 00:07:01,000
I'm tired of wearin'
this stupid hairnet.
163
00:07:01,330 --> 00:07:04,000
Anytime now.
Besides, it look good on you.
164
00:07:04,330 --> 00:07:06,000
Yeah, just give me some
flip-flops and a mumu
165
00:07:06,330 --> 00:07:08,330
and I'll look just like grandma.
166
00:07:08,366 --> 00:07:11,116
[imitating Grandma Ellington]
Hey, Shawny!
167
00:07:11,150 --> 00:07:12,370
- What's up, kid?
- Shawn.
168
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,300
Hey, yo, I got that $200
for the parkin' tickets.
169
00:07:15,333 --> 00:07:18,233
I sure wish I could
keep that money, though.
170
00:07:18,266 --> 00:07:20,126
Look, I'm not happy
about it, either.
171
00:07:20,166 --> 00:07:23,116
Sure, I could take that money
and put it towards Lisa's
gift.
172
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:25,660
Yeah, you could buy her
a microscope to find that
173
00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,660
diamond you got her.
174
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:29,250
Hey, it ain't all about
the size. It's the quality.
175
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:32,223
Yeah, that's what all men
with small diamonds say.
176
00:07:32,250 --> 00:07:34,150
Alright, calm down, calm down.
177
00:07:34,183 --> 00:07:35,273
Calm down,
have a cup of coffee.
178
00:07:35,300 --> 00:07:37,120
Coffee, coffee, coffee,
coffee, coffee.
179
00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:40,300
Coffee make the world go round.
Coffee, coffee, coffee.
180
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,353
The world's
a beautiful place with
coffee.
181
00:07:42,383 --> 00:07:45,183
Hey, Pop, I-I don't
want no coffee, man.
182
00:07:45,216 --> 00:07:48,366
Have some coffee!
Everybody...drink some coffee!
183
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:51,130
Everybody, free coffee. Come on.
Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee..
184
00:07:51,166 --> 00:07:53,126
This is my 14th cup today..
185
00:07:53,166 --> 00:07:55,326
[coughing]
186
00:07:55,660 --> 00:07:58,370
Yeah, Bentley's father sure
did
do a good job fixin' the car.
187
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,180
What is this, like,
the third fire today?
188
00:08:01,216 --> 00:08:05,126
Hey, man...at least
it kept the car
warm.
189
00:08:05,166 --> 00:08:06,266
Come on, you can't
just leave it here.
190
00:08:06,300 --> 00:08:09,000
You're blockin' somebody in.
191
00:08:09,330 --> 00:08:10,200
This is a Mercedes.
192
00:08:10,233 --> 00:08:13,133
What, it's gonna ram us?
193
00:08:13,166 --> 00:08:15,126
Besides, what are
we
doing here anyway?
194
00:08:15,166 --> 00:08:16,346
I'll only be a minute.
We're just going here
195
00:08:16,383 --> 00:08:18,333
to see if I can find
somethin' nice for Lisa.
196
00:08:18,366 --> 00:08:21,496
- Alright.
- Lock up.
197
00:08:21,830 --> 00:08:23,150
[keys jingle]
198
00:08:23,183 --> 00:08:24,303
[locks click]
199
00:08:29,830 --> 00:08:31,830
[coughs]
200
00:08:31,116 --> 00:08:33,326
Excuse me, madam.
201
00:08:33,660 --> 00:08:34,230
I-I just want you to know..
202
00:08:34,266 --> 00:08:37,296
that the cases are hooked up
to a silent alarm
203
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:40,103
and we don't have any cash.
204
00:08:40,133 --> 00:08:42,303
That's okay.
Today's our day
off.
205
00:08:42,333 --> 00:08:45,203
Besides, we left
our
ski mask at home.
206
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,173
- Yay.
- Oh, I am so sorry.
207
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,230
I-I-I'm a little bit on edge.
208
00:08:50,266 --> 00:08:52,096
I've had three hold-ups
209
00:08:52,133 --> 00:08:55,173
and they were all,
well, you know, urban.
210
00:08:57,330 --> 00:08:58,220
That's funny, I went to
211
00:08:58,250 --> 00:09:00,000
three different
jewelry stores
today
212
00:09:00,330 --> 00:09:01,250
and all the
salespeople
have been
213
00:09:01,283 --> 00:09:03,303
well, you know, bigots.
214
00:09:05,100 --> 00:09:07,120
Well, we don't have
any of that here
215
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:09,160
so if I can help you
in any way
216
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,370
I'll be over there
at the security camera.
217
00:09:15,183 --> 00:09:16,183
Damn.
218
00:09:16,216 --> 00:09:17,246
[mumbling]
219
00:09:17,283 --> 00:09:19,273
This stuff is nice.
220
00:09:19,300 --> 00:09:21,270
Hey, Shawn, what do you think?
221
00:09:22,366 --> 00:09:25,346
I think you look like
Esther Rolle.
222
00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:28,663
[imitating Esther Rolle]
Oh, James!
223
00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,170
I don't know why you're in here.
224
00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:34,330
You can't afford anything
in this store.
225
00:09:34,660 --> 00:09:35,130
You don't know that.
226
00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:36,216
- Excuse me, ma'am.
- Yes?
227
00:09:36,250 --> 00:09:38,500
How much is it
for this necklace?
228
00:09:38,830 --> 00:09:41,200
- Uh, $6,000.
- Six thou..
229
00:09:44,330 --> 00:09:46,330
Are-are you alright? Oh..
230
00:09:46,366 --> 00:09:48,196
You look like my husband
231
00:09:48,233 --> 00:09:50,833
when he found out
that his country
club
232
00:09:50,116 --> 00:09:52,116
let that Goldberg fellow in.
233
00:09:54,216 --> 00:09:56,166
I'm-I'm-I'm sorry.
234
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:58,220
I-I just was
lookin' for
somethin'
235
00:09:58,250 --> 00:10:00,180
a little, little more..
236
00:10:00,216 --> 00:10:02,166
- What's that word? Uh..
- Cheap.
237
00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:04,660
Well, I'm sorry, dear.
238
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:07,100
But, uh, maybe you're in
the wrong kind of store.
239
00:10:07,133 --> 00:10:09,353
Perhaps you should try Sears.
240
00:10:09,383 --> 00:10:11,373
[laughing]
241
00:10:13,316 --> 00:10:16,246
Oh, you are killin' me,
Tweety bird's
grandmother.
242
00:10:20,166 --> 00:10:23,196
Uh, look here, just give me
somethin' a little..
243
00:10:23,233 --> 00:10:25,503
...less expensive, that's all.
244
00:10:25,830 --> 00:10:26,200
Well, okay.
245
00:10:26,233 --> 00:10:29,833
Fine. Now, you just
brace yourselves.
246
00:10:29,116 --> 00:10:30,216
[laughing]
247
00:10:30,250 --> 00:10:32,660
Where is the comedy coming from?
248
00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:34,200
Now, this is four.
249
00:10:34,233 --> 00:10:36,383
- Thousand?
- Hundred.
250
00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,160
- Oh, that ain't too bad.
- 'No.'
251
00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:40,150
What? Are you kidding me?
252
00:10:40,183 --> 00:10:43,273
$400, I go to Chinatown
and live like a king.
253
00:10:43,300 --> 00:10:44,330
Well?
254
00:10:44,366 --> 00:10:47,276
- It sure is beautiful.
- Mm-hmm.
255
00:10:47,316 --> 00:10:48,276
Man.
256
00:10:48,316 --> 00:10:50,276
Yeah, too bad
you can't afford it.
257
00:10:53,133 --> 00:10:55,183
- Yes, I can.
- No, you can't.
258
00:10:55,216 --> 00:10:56,276
Look, Marlon,
just give me the
money
259
00:10:56,316 --> 00:10:58,326
and I won't have to hurt you.
260
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:00,250
Boy, you ain't scare nobody.
I'm a man now. Shoot.
261
00:11:00,283 --> 00:11:01,383
Alright, alright. Here!
262
00:11:02,160 --> 00:11:04,660
Take it! Take all the money.
Here!
263
00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:06,100
Take everything.
Take it all.
264
00:11:07,316 --> 00:11:08,346
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
265
00:11:08,383 --> 00:11:10,273
Thank you very, very much.
266
00:11:10,300 --> 00:11:12,350
Oh, I must remove the price tag.
267
00:11:12,383 --> 00:11:15,663
No, no, no, no,
do-don't do that. Don't do
that.
268
00:11:15,100 --> 00:11:17,330
Matter of fact, could
you
add a couple of zeros?
269
00:11:17,660 --> 00:11:18,180
You know, it's for my girl.
270
00:11:19,283 --> 00:11:22,133
I'm sure she will be
very very happy.
271
00:11:22,166 --> 00:11:24,096
- 'Oh, yeah.'
- 'Now, there you go.'
272
00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:29,103
Are either of you, uh,
the proud owner of a 1968 GTO?
273
00:11:29,133 --> 00:11:31,123
- No.
- Yes.
274
00:11:31,150 --> 00:11:33,320
- Yes.
- No.
275
00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:36,220
Well, at least
you got your story straight.
276
00:11:36,250 --> 00:11:38,660
Are you aware
that you're double parked?
277
00:11:38,100 --> 00:11:39,120
That's impossible.
278
00:11:39,150 --> 00:11:40,300
We only have one car.
279
00:11:40,333 --> 00:11:42,333
It's just stupid.
280
00:11:44,266 --> 00:11:46,096
Sorry, we just, uh..
281
00:11:46,133 --> 00:11:47,303
...just about to move the car--
282
00:11:47,333 --> 00:11:52,133
Are you aware that you have
$400 in unpaid parkin'
tickets?
283
00:11:52,166 --> 00:11:53,246
Yes, we're totally
aware of that--
284
00:11:53,283 --> 00:11:55,833
Are you also aware that
285
00:11:55,116 --> 00:11:57,116
there is a warrant out
for your arrest?
286
00:11:57,150 --> 00:11:59,330
- I didn't know about all
that..
- I mean, I got a call from..
287
00:11:59,366 --> 00:12:02,166
- Let me show you my ID.
- Hey, hey, hey, don't move!
288
00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,180
Freeze, dirt bags!
289
00:12:06,350 --> 00:12:08,350
[instrumental music]
290
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,250
(male #2)
'Alright, come on, come on,
come on. Get in here.'
291
00:12:19,283 --> 00:12:21,183
- Let's go. Let's go.
- Hey, hey, hey.
292
00:12:21,216 --> 00:12:22,266
You better be gentle.
293
00:12:22,300 --> 00:12:23,380
I got a video
camera
in my pocket.
294
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,660
Oh, get over there.
295
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,170
Marlon, will you just calm down.
296
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:29,000
Everything's gonna be alright.
297
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:31,100
I can't believe this, man.
298
00:12:31,133 --> 00:12:32,323
Mom's gonna kill me.
299
00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:34,330
Pop's gonna kill me.
300
00:12:35,366 --> 00:12:38,496
He's gonna kill me.
301
00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:40,170
Will you calm down? Would you
just get a hold of yourself.
302
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,230
I'm trying!
303
00:12:42,266 --> 00:12:44,656
Alright, show time, folks.
304
00:12:44,100 --> 00:12:46,830
Come on. Let's go.
305
00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:49,226
Everybody smile for the cameras.
306
00:12:53,133 --> 00:12:55,173
'Turn to the right.'
307
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,230
'The right.'
308
00:12:57,266 --> 00:12:59,166
Just face me.
309
00:13:01,316 --> 00:13:03,656
Hey, hold on. Can we,
can we do that again?
310
00:13:03,100 --> 00:13:04,220
I didn't smile right.
311
00:13:13,116 --> 00:13:14,346
Alright, cover girls, over here.
312
00:13:14,383 --> 00:13:16,003
Yo, do me a favor.
313
00:13:16,330 --> 00:13:17,160
If the pictures come out
any good
314
00:13:17,500 --> 00:13:18,150
could you send me some back?
315
00:13:18,183 --> 00:13:20,223
- For me and my girl.
- And one for my mommy.
316
00:13:24,250 --> 00:13:26,350
Hey, yo, what's up,
Arsenio?
You got the time?
317
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,270
Yes.
318
00:13:34,233 --> 00:13:37,163
Alright, let's see those hands.
319
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:38,100
Ah..
320
00:13:38,133 --> 00:13:39,323
...fingers on the pad.
321
00:13:39,350 --> 00:13:42,220
Look, Marl, just
like
Marion Barry.
322
00:13:42,250 --> 00:13:44,180
Hey, that pad
got ink on it, man.
323
00:13:45,100 --> 00:13:46,120
Shh.
324
00:13:46,150 --> 00:13:48,270
Alright, come on.
325
00:13:48,300 --> 00:13:51,220
Until your father gets here,
you guys are in the tank.
326
00:13:51,250 --> 00:13:53,160
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
327
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,300
How come he got to make
a phone call, and I don't?
328
00:13:55,333 --> 00:13:57,503
Alright, but make it real quick.
329
00:13:57,830 --> 00:13:59,160
How come you always do
what I do?
330
00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:01,130
Copycat, copycat, copycat.
331
00:14:05,166 --> 00:14:06,366
Hi, Lisa?
332
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,250
Sorry, baby, I'm gonna be late
for our birthday dinner
tonight.
333
00:14:10,283 --> 00:14:11,373
Why?
334
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,250
- We got stuck in traffic..
- Um..
335
00:14:13,283 --> 00:14:15,253
B-because I'm stuck in traffic.
336
00:14:15,283 --> 00:14:17,163
I'll kill you!
337
00:14:17,500 --> 00:14:19,200
I'll kill you all!
338
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:21,323
Who...who was that?
339
00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:23,300
Um, that was, uh..
340
00:14:26,150 --> 00:14:28,300
...that was the, uh,
the cab driver.
341
00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,003
Yeah, that was the cab driver.
342
00:14:30,330 --> 00:14:33,830
Hey, make a left
over there, Punjab!
343
00:14:33,116 --> 00:14:34,266
A left, Punjab!
344
00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:37,333
No problem, sir.
345
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:41,180
Okay, Lisa, well, baby,
I-I'll talk to you later.
346
00:14:41,216 --> 00:14:43,266
- I love you. Bye-bye.
- Bye. Love you too, Lisa.
347
00:14:47,266 --> 00:14:49,366
Come on. I don't have all night.
348
00:15:00,830 --> 00:15:01,320
Oh, my God!
349
00:15:01,350 --> 00:15:04,120
Will you calm down?
Everything's gonna be alright.
350
00:15:07,330 --> 00:15:09,830
Oh, my God!
351
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:10,146
Excuse me, officer.
352
00:15:10,183 --> 00:15:11,323
Could you do me a favor?
353
00:15:11,350 --> 00:15:13,500
Like what?
354
00:15:13,830 --> 00:15:15,150
Could I use your
gun
for an hour?
355
00:15:15,183 --> 00:15:17,003
[chuckles]
356
00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:19,270
There he goes.
357
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:22,200
Last man that's not gonna
wanna make me his wife.
358
00:15:22,233 --> 00:15:25,373
What are you worried about?
I'm the pretty one.
359
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,180
Shawn, I got
a confession to make.
360
00:15:28,216 --> 00:15:30,126
What?
361
00:15:30,166 --> 00:15:33,326
Over the years,
I stole a lot of money from
you.
362
00:15:33,660 --> 00:15:34,330
Ah, don't sweat it, kid.
363
00:15:34,366 --> 00:15:37,196
I also have
a confession to make.
364
00:15:37,233 --> 00:15:39,223
Over the years,
while you were sleepin'..
365
00:15:40,216 --> 00:15:42,376
...I hit you in the head a lot.
366
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:44,150
Oh, thank you, God!
367
00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:48,333
I thought that was a tumor.
Whoo.
368
00:15:50,500 --> 00:15:51,120
Goodbye, Marlon.
369
00:15:53,100 --> 00:15:55,120
Goodbye, Shawn.
370
00:15:55,150 --> 00:15:57,330
And to think..
371
00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:59,660
...I never got to see Paris.
372
00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:02,353
First time?
373
00:16:02,383 --> 00:16:04,503
- Yeah.
- Uh, yeah.
374
00:16:04,830 --> 00:16:05,270
You want some advice?
375
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:08,160
There's only two ways
to survive in this place.
376
00:16:08,500 --> 00:16:10,330
You can either fight..
377
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,000
...or make friends.
378
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:18,330
We'll probably fight.
379
00:16:18,366 --> 00:16:20,276
Well, suit yourselves,
but you better do somethin'
380
00:16:20,316 --> 00:16:22,096
better than
what you've been doin'
381
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:24,283
or I'll kick the crap
out of both of y'all myself.
382
00:16:26,216 --> 00:16:29,326
See what you did?
We could've had a nice
friend.
383
00:16:31,133 --> 00:16:32,223
Shawn, I'm scared, man.
384
00:16:32,250 --> 00:16:33,350
When these dudes find
out
we're in here
385
00:16:33,383 --> 00:16:35,503
for parkin' tickets
386
00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:36,220
they're gonna kill us.
387
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:37,370
Will you calm down, man?
388
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000
Look, I know how
these people work, okay?
389
00:16:40,330 --> 00:16:42,170
I know how to handle them.
You gotta be strong.
390
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,100
- Okay.
- They can smell fear.
391
00:16:44,133 --> 00:16:46,173
I was wonderin'
what that smell
was.
392
00:16:47,266 --> 00:16:49,176
Look, as long as you're with me
393
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:51,146
ain't nobody
gonna mess with you.
394
00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:52,283
Big brother got your back.
395
00:16:52,316 --> 00:16:54,326
Good.
396
00:16:54,660 --> 00:16:55,300
'Cause that guy over
there
is lookin' at me funny
397
00:16:55,333 --> 00:16:57,173
like he wants some trouble.
398
00:16:57,200 --> 00:16:59,250
- Who? That guy?
- Mm-hmm. Right there.
399
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:04,500
That's who you scared of?
400
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:09,330
I'll take and I'll squash
his head like a pea!
401
00:17:09,660 --> 00:17:10,130
Yeah!
402
00:17:10,166 --> 00:17:11,996
And then I'll take
and I'll-I'll rip his ears
off.
403
00:17:12,330 --> 00:17:13,830
Yeah!
404
00:17:13,116 --> 00:17:15,826
- And then tie him in a knot.
- Yeah!
405
00:17:15,116 --> 00:17:17,276
Yeah. Huh.
406
00:17:17,316 --> 00:17:19,316
- Yeah, what's up? What's up?
- Now.
407
00:17:19,350 --> 00:17:20,370
- What's up? What's up?
- Now.
408
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,230
Hey, yo, my man.
409
00:17:22,266 --> 00:17:25,266
You got some kinda
eye problem with my brother?
410
00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:29,220
- Shawn, Shawn, Shawn, Shawn!
- What's up? No, no, no..
411
00:17:29,250 --> 00:17:30,370
- Come get some!
- Shawn.
412
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,300
- What?
- I'm not talkin' about him.
413
00:17:32,333 --> 00:17:33,353
Ah, yo, I don't--
414
00:17:33,383 --> 00:17:35,833
I'm talkin' about
this guy right here.
415
00:17:35,116 --> 00:17:37,146
I don't care
who you are talkin'
about.
416
00:17:37,183 --> 00:17:39,663
I got them back.
You know what am sayin'.
417
00:17:39,100 --> 00:17:40,250
'Cause ain't nobody runnin'..
418
00:17:46,150 --> 00:17:48,250
You lookin' for some trouble?
419
00:17:48,283 --> 00:17:49,383
Hey, brah
420
00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:53,500
what's all
this black-on-black crime,
huh?
421
00:17:53,830 --> 00:17:55,100
Let's not add to the statistics.
422
00:17:55,133 --> 00:17:56,223
Go ahead, Shawn, tell him
423
00:17:56,250 --> 00:17:59,230
how you gonna
splat his fat head.
424
00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:01,316
Tell-tell him how you're gonna
twist him into a knot.
425
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:04,180
- Shut up, Marlon.
- Yeah. And-and ring your
bell!
426
00:18:04,216 --> 00:18:05,346
Shut up, Marlon.
427
00:18:05,383 --> 00:18:07,663
Ooh, is that right?
428
00:18:07,100 --> 00:18:08,220
You messin'
with the wrong
person.
429
00:18:08,250 --> 00:18:10,320
That's my brother
you're messin'
with.
430
00:18:10,350 --> 00:18:12,380
Hey! Oh, come on, man.
Come on, big..
431
00:18:13,160 --> 00:18:14,350
Oh! Alright, get off of me.
432
00:18:14,383 --> 00:18:16,123
Get off of me. Alright.
433
00:18:16,150 --> 00:18:18,300
I'm countin' to three,
and then I'm goin' crazy.
434
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:22,163
One, two, three.
435
00:18:22,500 --> 00:18:24,270
One thousand nine hundred
and ninety-eight
436
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:28,000
one thousand nine hundred
and ninety-nine..
437
00:18:28,330 --> 00:18:30,830
...two thousand! Get off me!
438
00:18:30,116 --> 00:18:32,826
[chuckles]
Two thousand.
439
00:18:32,116 --> 00:18:34,196
That's when I get out of here.
440
00:18:34,233 --> 00:18:36,303
Don't you ever turn your back
on me, boy. Here, come on.
441
00:18:43,300 --> 00:18:45,830
I got you. Say uncle!
442
00:18:45,116 --> 00:18:48,156
- Say uncle! Say uncle!
- 'Say it. Say it!'
443
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:50,160
Well, say uncle. Say uncle!
444
00:18:50,500 --> 00:18:51,830
Oh, what?
445
00:18:51,116 --> 00:18:52,276
Tryin' to get tough.
Come here, boy.
446
00:18:52,316 --> 00:18:54,346
Let me show you
what time it is jailhouse,
boy.
447
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,283
'What you know about
the jailhouse, boy?'
448
00:18:56,316 --> 00:18:59,176
Jailhouse! Show me
what you got, baby.
449
00:18:59,216 --> 00:19:02,156
Sugar Ray. Football, baby.
450
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,280
Marl! Get the left! Left
jab!
Left jab! Left jab!
451
00:19:04,316 --> 00:19:06,096
Get him on low!
452
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,283
Marlon, are you okay?
453
00:19:13,316 --> 00:19:15,116
Marlon?
454
00:19:15,150 --> 00:19:17,160
Grandma?
455
00:19:17,500 --> 00:19:19,150
You want me to walk
towards the light, grandma?
456
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,503
Hey, back off, Tiny,
don't you touch my boys.
457
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,830
I know your mama, boy!
458
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,370
Boy, Pops, I never thought
I'd be so happy to see you.
459
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,170
Oh, I wish I could say the same.
460
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:37,000
I'm just happy this is over.
461
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,230
It ain't over yet.
Your mama's in the car.
462
00:19:38,266 --> 00:19:40,296
And she ain't too happy.
463
00:19:40,333 --> 00:19:42,253
(together)
What?
464
00:19:42,283 --> 00:19:43,273
Oh!
465
00:19:45,233 --> 00:19:47,233
[instrumental music]
466
00:19:53,316 --> 00:19:55,096
- Aw!
- Sorry 'bout that.
467
00:20:03,150 --> 00:20:04,220
Ooh, yeah!
468
00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:11,303
Let me go get some cologne.
469
00:20:27,183 --> 00:20:28,183
Hi.
470
00:20:28,216 --> 00:20:32,176
(together)
Hey, Happy birthday!
471
00:20:32,216 --> 00:20:34,346
Wow, this is great.
472
00:20:34,383 --> 00:20:36,283
(together)
Yeah.
473
00:20:36,316 --> 00:20:39,156
I'm surprised you got out
of jail in time.
474
00:20:41,350 --> 00:20:43,500
You know?
475
00:20:43,830 --> 00:20:45,100
Shawn, who do you think
gave your father
476
00:20:45,133 --> 00:20:47,133
the $400 to bail you out?
477
00:20:48,316 --> 00:20:50,226
Well, uh, I gotta go.
478
00:20:50,266 --> 00:20:53,326
I think I helped
enough for today. Ooh.
479
00:20:55,250 --> 00:20:57,250
Will you get outta here?
480
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,250
I'm sorry, baby. I..
481
00:21:02,283 --> 00:21:03,373
I tried to get you
somethin' really nice
482
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,350
for your birthday and I..
483
00:21:05,383 --> 00:21:07,333
I messed up.
484
00:21:07,366 --> 00:21:09,176
Shawn, I keep tellin' you
485
00:21:09,216 --> 00:21:12,156
I don't care about presents.
486
00:21:12,500 --> 00:21:14,330
Yeah, but you deserve
nice things.
487
00:21:14,366 --> 00:21:16,376
I wanna give you
the world, girl.
488
00:21:18,233 --> 00:21:19,353
I love you.
489
00:21:19,383 --> 00:21:22,223
Baby, you are my world.
490
00:21:32,830 --> 00:21:34,180
- I love you.
- I love you too.
491
00:21:36,366 --> 00:21:38,126
Happy birthday.
492
00:21:38,166 --> 00:21:39,316
[gasps]
493
00:21:39,350 --> 00:21:41,220
It's beautiful!
494
00:21:41,250 --> 00:21:42,350
Yeah, uh
495
00:21:42,383 --> 00:21:45,203
you might wanna
rinse it off first, uh
496
00:21:45,233 --> 00:21:47,253
I had to hide it
when I was in lockup.
497
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,160
[instrumental music]
498
00:21:54,116 --> 00:21:55,276
- That's true.
- T-that's what happened to
us.
499
00:21:55,316 --> 00:21:57,226
Now, tell us about your time
in the big house.
500
00:21:57,266 --> 00:21:59,146
Me and the homeboys..
501
00:21:59,183 --> 00:22:01,833
...were running guns
out of Mexico.
502
00:22:01,116 --> 00:22:03,156
Well, I will tell you,
we could've all
503
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:04,830
gotten away with it
504
00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:06,326
but there was
a border guard
505
00:22:06,660 --> 00:22:07,220
'started dissin' me.'
506
00:22:07,250 --> 00:22:09,160
- What?
- Say what?
507
00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:10,100
I had no choice.
508
00:22:10,133 --> 00:22:12,223
I had to shoot his head
clean off.
509
00:22:12,250 --> 00:22:14,230
He looked like a Roman candle!
510
00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:16,266
[laughing]
511
00:22:17,233 --> 00:22:18,373
(together)
Ooh.
512
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,150
Did I ever show you a picture
513
00:22:20,183 --> 00:22:22,133
of my little
granddaughter, Elise?
514
00:22:22,166 --> 00:22:23,246
(together)
Oh!
36334
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