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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,173 (man on TV) 'Erica, darling, I have bad news.' 2 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,370 'I'm leaving you for another man.' 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,330 You're wrong. You're wrong, homey! 4 00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:10,496 You're wrong! 5 00:00:11,283 --> 00:00:13,003 Trifler. 6 00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:19,103 (Erica on TV) 'I have news for you too, Lance.' 7 00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:22,330 'It's the dog.' 8 00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:24,330 'Tiffany's dead.' 9 00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:25,150 Oh, God. 10 00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:31,500 'And to think she just had puppies.' 11 00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:33,183 [sobbing] 12 00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,120 [crying] 13 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,330 You ain't cryin', are you, man? 14 00:00:44,266 --> 00:00:46,326 Oh, no, no, no. 15 00:00:46,366 --> 00:00:49,216 I just got somethin' in my eye, that's all. 16 00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:52,380 Yeah, me too. 17 00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,100 The puppies, man! 18 00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,123 [both crying] 19 00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:00,380 [theme song] 20 00:01:02,116 --> 00:01:03,346 ♪ We're brothers ♪ 21 00:01:03,383 --> 00:01:08,183 ♪ We're happy and we're singin' and we're colored ♪ 22 00:01:08,216 --> 00:01:10,346 ♪ Give me a high five ♪♪ 23 00:01:10,383 --> 00:01:13,163 (male 1) 'Alright, cut and print. Beautiful, guys.' 24 00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:14,320 'Dynamite. That is..' 25 00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:17,220 ♪ Girl what you got goin' on tonight? ♪ 26 00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,380 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 27 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,150 ♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪ 28 00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,283 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 29 00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:27,656 ♪ Girl what you got going on tonight? ♪ 30 00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,660 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 31 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,370 ♪ Won't you just chill with me tonight ♪ 32 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,380 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪ 33 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,230 ♪ I got something that you gonna like ♪♪ 34 00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:45,270 [applause] 35 00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,100 Not bad, pops. 36 00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,273 These poetry readings sure is 37 00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,130 bringin' in some extra business. 38 00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:54,166 I don't give a blip about poetry, son. 39 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,500 All I know is those little artsy kids 40 00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:58,320 love spendin' $5 for a cup of coffee. 41 00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,000 [humming] 42 00:02:04,383 --> 00:02:07,203 - Cappuccino. - Thanks. 43 00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:09,663 - Cafe latte. - Mm. 44 00:02:10,233 --> 00:02:14,153 And a bran muffin. That'll be $15, please. 45 00:02:16,183 --> 00:02:18,353 Thank you. Ooh! Only in America. 46 00:02:18,383 --> 00:02:20,123 [humming] 47 00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:25,160 Boop! 48 00:02:26,316 --> 00:02:30,376 Here you go. One cafe Michael Jackson, extra light. 49 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,660 And gettin' lighter all the time. 50 00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:35,380 Yo, Marl, man, where's this girl of yours? 51 00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,220 I've been waitin' here an hour. I gotta go. 52 00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,330 Chill. She's comin'. She'll be here at, like, 9:00. 53 00:02:39,366 --> 00:02:41,366 'I tell you, Shawn, this girl got everything' 54 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,100 I want in a girl and more. She has all her teeth. 55 00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,660 Both her legs. 56 00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,333 No mustache. 57 00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:55,500 And, Shawn, she can read. 58 00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:57,150 Man, you better marry that. 59 00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:59,383 I'm telling you. I know how this goes. 60 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,230 Yo, man, I gotta get out of here though. 61 00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:03,316 I gotta go see Lisa. I've barely seen her all week. 62 00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,660 Oh, I forget. 63 00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,230 That's right, she snaps her fingers 64 00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:09,166 and you just go runnin', huh? 65 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,170 Alright, alright. I'm gonna wait five more minutes. 66 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,500 Just five more minutes and then, maybe I'll go see Lisa. 67 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,150 If I feel like it. 68 00:03:17,183 --> 00:03:18,173 [blows] 69 00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:25,246 Shawn, yo, yo, that's her right there. 70 00:03:25,283 --> 00:03:27,353 'Oh, she is so fine.' 71 00:03:30,216 --> 00:03:32,176 Well, what do you think are my chances? 72 00:03:32,216 --> 00:03:33,366 You got about as much of a chance 73 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,130 at a skinhead or in Def Jam. 74 00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:42,120 Okay, everybody, welcome 75 00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:44,200 to Pop's Tuesday Night Poetry Reading. 76 00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:45,253 Come on. 77 00:03:45,283 --> 00:03:47,003 [applause] 78 00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:49,200 Our next poem is by Matty Embers. 79 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:53,153 He's a good poet, but more importantly, he's a big tipper. 80 00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,180 Go on, Matt! 81 00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:01,833 [clears throat] 82 00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:04,166 "The sun sets slowly on the sea. 83 00:04:05,233 --> 00:04:08,333 "Will you be my friend today? 84 00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,130 "Darkness, silence 85 00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,246 and then, a tear." 86 00:04:16,383 --> 00:04:19,003 [applause] 87 00:04:24,316 --> 00:04:28,126 [moans] That was so deep 88 00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:30,146 potent, and moving. 89 00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,503 Didn't you think so? 90 00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,300 Uh, what he means is, he appreciates the sun 91 00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:41,316 as the symbolism of...life. 92 00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:44,270 Yes! That's it exactly. 93 00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:47,170 I just love men that can express 94 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,200 deep emotions. 95 00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:51,233 That's funny you should say that, 'cause Marlon over here 96 00:04:51,266 --> 00:04:55,096 can express deep emotion. Right, Marlon? 97 00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:58,266 Marlon? Marlon? 98 00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,200 [yells] Pain! 99 00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,283 Pain. 100 00:05:02,316 --> 00:05:05,246 Terrible sadness and pain. 101 00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:17,196 Valerie. Valerie. Valerie. 102 00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,350 [sighs] 103 00:05:19,383 --> 00:05:22,173 Mr. and Mrs. Valerie Williams. 104 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:26,220 I sure hope our daughters look like her. 105 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,230 Yeah, well, if not, they could always join the circus. 106 00:05:31,316 --> 00:05:33,346 So, what do you think? You think she likes me? 107 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,270 Marlon, you didn't say a word all night. 108 00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,120 She thinks you're a mute. 109 00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:39,830 Yeah, well, that's why I had you there. 110 00:05:39,116 --> 00:05:40,226 Look how late it is, man. 111 00:05:40,266 --> 00:05:42,496 Lisa's gonna kill me for blowin' her off. 112 00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:43,370 I don't feel too well, man. 113 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,200 I feel dizzy and my stomach is hurting. 114 00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:49,183 - What's wrong with me? - You're in love, kid. 115 00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:52,266 Either that or you pregnant again, you little fish. 116 00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:00,230 Who am I foolin', man? She ain't gonna like me. 117 00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:02,226 She's all smart. You heard her. 118 00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:04,316 She goes to a two-year college. 119 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,300 Marlon, love has no barriers, okay? 120 00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:11,833 Look at me and Lisa. 121 00:06:11,116 --> 00:06:12,266 Her father's a heart surgeon 122 00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,230 and my father sells pig feet and coffee. 123 00:06:15,266 --> 00:06:18,176 Yeah, I'm too good for her. Yeah. 124 00:06:18,216 --> 00:06:20,316 But we're still together. 125 00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,320 - You think so? - Yeah. 126 00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,500 You just gotta get to know her. 127 00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:26,320 - What does she like? - Poetry. 128 00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:28,120 - 'Boom.' - She likes poetry. 129 00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:30,280 - 'Ehh.' - I could do some poetries too. 130 00:06:30,316 --> 00:06:33,176 - I saw the "Dolemite" movies. - Mm-hm. 131 00:06:33,216 --> 00:06:35,166 I-I bought Kurtis Blow's comeback album. 132 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,230 - Yeah. - I've seen "Poetic Justice." 133 00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:38,316 - Okay. - "The Fi--" 134 00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:41,130 - Okay, come on now! - I'm writing. 135 00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:43,353 Hm.. 136 00:06:43,383 --> 00:06:46,273 "You and me 137 00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,370 "would be a doozy.. 138 00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:54,180 "...if we got naked.. 139 00:06:54,216 --> 00:06:56,226 ...in my Jacuzzi." 140 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:04,660 That ain't no poetry. That's pornography. 141 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,350 - I'll show you poetry. - Well, alright. 142 00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:09,383 "With a whist...of the wind 143 00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:15,203 "my heart...was stolen. 144 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:20,660 "Gone forever.. 145 00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,350 "...by a dream.. 146 00:07:21,383 --> 00:07:25,123 ...called...Valerie." 147 00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:31,333 That was beautiful. 148 00:07:31,366 --> 00:07:34,246 - Take me, sailor. - Oh, come on, man. 149 00:07:36,366 --> 00:07:39,096 - What you got there, son? - Nothin'. 150 00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,323 For the past week, I've been writing Marlon 151 00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:43,250 a little love poetry. 152 00:07:43,283 --> 00:07:46,133 You're writing your brother a love poetry? 153 00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,156 What kind of weirdness are you two practicing 154 00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,220 back there in that apartment? 155 00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,320 'I told your mom you should've slept in bunk beds.' 156 00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:57,333 Sixteen-year-old cuddle up like that. It just ain't natural. 157 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,350 No. See, I write it for Marlon. 158 00:08:00,383 --> 00:08:03,833 And then he gives it to the girl. 159 00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,366 Oh-h, that's good. 160 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,300 That's good you're helpin' your brother, Shawn. 161 00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:09,173 'Cause he's gonna need some poetry to get a woman. 162 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,180 You know, he's not as pretty as you and me. 163 00:08:12,216 --> 00:08:15,216 Hey, Shawn, Shawn, look! It worked. 164 00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:19,370 Valerie wrote me back and this time she left her number. 165 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,220 What'd I tell you, boy? I ain't surprised. 166 00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,250 I know women. 167 00:08:24,283 --> 00:08:27,003 Now, Marlon, I'm proud of you. 168 00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:29,300 - Now you're using your head. - Thank you. 169 00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,373 - Shawn, here. Call her. - Me? 170 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,300 Yeah, I don't know what to say to her. 171 00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:35,003 Come on, call up and make a date. 172 00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:37,130 I don't think so. You're buggin'. 173 00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,326 Oh, I see. 174 00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:40,226 You don't think you could get her to say yes. 175 00:08:40,266 --> 00:08:43,326 I mean, you being whipped by Lisa and all 176 00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:45,380 you probably lost your touch. I'll do it myself. 177 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,120 Give me the phone! 178 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,370 Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. 179 00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:57,300 You can take her to Bordeaux. 180 00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,203 That's Lisa's favorite restaurant. 181 00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:02,663 Hello, Valerie? 182 00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:05,180 Yeah, it's me, Marlon. The hopeless romantic. 183 00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:07,116 - Cute romantic. - Shut up. 184 00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,320 Uh, yeah, I was wonderin' if I could take you out 185 00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:11,170 to dinner tomorrow night at Bordeaux. 186 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,350 Oh, you're busy? 187 00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:17,123 "My heart bleeds a river of tears for your love." 188 00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:21,180 You can change your plans? Great! 189 00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:23,316 So I'll see you tomorrow night, 8 o'clock, Bordeaux. 190 00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:25,160 Alright, my sweetness. 191 00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,330 - Yes! - Take care. 192 00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:29,370 Damn, I'm good. 193 00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:32,330 [both laughing] 194 00:09:39,283 --> 00:09:42,123 Oh, damn. Oh, man. 195 00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:44,270 That Urkel sure does crack me up. 196 00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,230 I'll grab us a couple of sodas. 197 00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:49,276 Why can't he just buy some pants that fit? 198 00:09:49,316 --> 00:09:51,266 What's this? 199 00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,660 "Your eyes arouse desire?" 200 00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,330 Shawn, whose eyes arouse desire? 201 00:09:56,366 --> 00:09:58,366 Oh. Oh, That's Marlon's. 202 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,280 But, Shawn, this is your handwriting. 203 00:10:00,316 --> 00:10:03,376 - Yeah, I know, but-- - Who is Valerie? 204 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,330 Valerie is a girl that I met.. I mean, Marlon met. 205 00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:08,326 Oh, okay, okay. 206 00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:09,330 So, this is who you were with the other night 207 00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:11,226 when you said you were helping Marlon, isn't it? 208 00:10:11,266 --> 00:10:13,156 Baby, you're gettin' this all wrong. 209 00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,660 I don't know what's wrong with you. 210 00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,000 I can't believe this. 211 00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,150 - You're cheatin' on me. - What? 212 00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:22,003 Hey, y'all, don't mind me. I just came to get my basketball. 213 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,170 The boys are waitin' downstairs for me. 214 00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,130 - Marlon, wait. Come back! - What's up? 215 00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,156 Please, don't lie. 216 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,500 - Who wrote this poem? - Shawn. 217 00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:34,326 And tell her who I wrote it for. 218 00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:36,830 - For Valerie. - Exactly. 219 00:10:36,116 --> 00:10:38,826 Alright, gotta go, guys. Take care. 220 00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:40,156 No, wait. Hold on! Marlon! 221 00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,170 Marlon, come back! 222 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,280 Why, Shawn? So he can lie for you? 223 00:10:43,316 --> 00:10:46,316 You don't believe me, do you? See, this is makin' me mad. 224 00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:49,000 If you think I'm a liar, why don't you just call me a liar? 225 00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:51,500 Shawn, you're a liar. 226 00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,830 You're gonna apologize for that. 227 00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:56,146 I'mma count to three, alright? 228 00:10:56,183 --> 00:10:57,273 One.. 229 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:02,150 ...two.. 230 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,163 [chuckles] Yeah. 231 00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:06,216 I knew it. Go ahead, just say it. 232 00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:09,500 All you gotta do is say sorry and you know 233 00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,250 I'll forgive you and we'll go back to watching.. 234 00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,120 Ain't that a bitch? 235 00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:24,280 Man, she trippin'. Girl get a new weave, thinks she cute. 236 00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:29,000 Now, remember, when we go to the restaurant 237 00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:31,170 you gotta secretly pass me poetic things 238 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,120 to say to Valerie, okay? 239 00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,220 I can't believe I called Lisa 240 00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,270 and she won't return my phone calls. 241 00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,160 Man, forget Lisa. 242 00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,120 You didn't do nothin' wrong. She should be callin' you. 243 00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:42,170 Yeah, you're right. I didn't do nothin' wrong. 244 00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,130 - Not a damn thing. - Not that I couldn't of. 245 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:47,246 I mean, look at me, man, I'm a delivery man. 246 00:11:47,283 --> 00:11:49,183 And every woman loves a man that can deliver. 247 00:11:49,216 --> 00:11:52,096 - Ah! You know what I mean. - You know what I mean. 248 00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:55,123 Shoot, man. Baby got some nerve. 249 00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:57,180 Yeah. She stomped on your heart. 250 00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,276 - Yeah! - You don't need Lisa. 251 00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:02,096 - I don't need her. - That's right. 252 00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:03,183 You sure you don't wanna go over there 253 00:12:03,216 --> 00:12:05,276 and just make sure she's okay? 254 00:12:05,316 --> 00:12:08,096 What? And beg her for forgiveness? 255 00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:10,203 Nah. You can't play yourself like that. 256 00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:11,373 You ain't going out like that. 257 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,220 Yeah, that's right. I ain't gonna play myself. 258 00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:15,350 That's right. And you're too handsome to get played. 259 00:12:15,383 --> 00:12:17,323 - Damn, skippy. - Hey, yo, handsome. 260 00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:19,200 Can I use your credit card? 261 00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:21,123 Sure, man. Sure. 262 00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:23,120 Lisa's gonna have to learn that you gotta get up 263 00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:26,170 pretty early in the morning to pull one over on me. 264 00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,380 You know what I'm sayin'? 265 00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:36,100 Wow. This is one classy joint. 266 00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:37,383 Real resquisite. 267 00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,326 And Belafonte too. 268 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,220 [both laughing] 269 00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:46,230 - Hi, we have reservations. - Yeah. So do I. 270 00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:50,166 - Your name, please? - Shawn Williams. 271 00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,660 Uh, one party, two tables. 272 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,270 I don't like to look at my brother when I eat. 273 00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:58,350 Yes, yes, I can understand that. 274 00:12:58,383 --> 00:13:00,283 - This way. - You hilarious. 275 00:13:00,316 --> 00:13:02,246 You a regular ol' "Seinfeld," huh? 276 00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:05,323 Why is he so funny? I don't get it. 277 00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:08,330 I hope these will do. Our menus. 278 00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,150 Alright. Thank you. Wait a minute. 279 00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:12,273 Your chef must've been drunk when he wrote these. 280 00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:15,370 - They don't even make no sense. - They're in French. 281 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,500 I'll bring you English menus. They have pictures. 282 00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,160 (Marlon) 'Yay.' 283 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,350 Picture this. I'm the customer and you're a lowly servant. 284 00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:27,003 Now go get me some champagne, peasant. 285 00:13:29,316 --> 00:13:32,826 Well, I guess you told me. 286 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,230 There goes Valerie. Now remember.. 287 00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,496 Don't say anything until I give you 288 00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:40,230 the right words to use. 289 00:13:40,266 --> 00:13:43,656 Okay. Hey. 290 00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,830 But you better make me sound intelligent. 291 00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:48,176 I'm a poet, not a miracle worker. 292 00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:54,163 [chuckles] 293 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,280 - Marlon. - Valerie, Valerie. 294 00:13:56,316 --> 00:13:59,246 Valerie. Have a seat, baby. 295 00:13:59,283 --> 00:14:01,383 Alright, let's get you in there. 296 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,170 I can't believe I finally get to spend time 297 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,170 with the man that wrote those letters. 298 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,660 That's me, letter man. 299 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,150 I had no idea you were so romantic. 300 00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,323 I mean, at the diner, you hardly spoke to me. 301 00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:16,170 I thought you were a mute. 302 00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,200 That's because I was dumbfounded by your beauty. 303 00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,203 That's because I was dumbfounded by your booty. 304 00:14:29,183 --> 00:14:32,103 - Your beauty. - Your beauty. 305 00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:34,173 You got a beautiful booty too. 306 00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,280 Uh, be sure to note our specials. 307 00:14:40,316 --> 00:14:44,116 And a handwritten note from the chef for you. 308 00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,500 - Thank you. - You know the chef? 309 00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:49,120 - What does it say? - Uh-uh.. 310 00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:51,300 [gibberish] 311 00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:54,316 [gibberish] 312 00:14:56,283 --> 00:14:59,663 Oh, and you're funny too. 313 00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:02,660 Uh.. Uh, may I suggest thevichyssoise? 314 00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,120 The vichy who? 315 00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:06,500 It's a cold potato soup. 316 00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,180 Oh, brother, for these prices, you better warm that thing up 317 00:15:08,216 --> 00:15:09,996 in the microwave. 318 00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:15,116 You know, Valerie, uh, when I look into your eyes, I.. 319 00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:19,200 When I look into your eyes, I know that 320 00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:23,283 this is more than just mere flatulation. 321 00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,330 What? 322 00:15:26,366 --> 00:15:28,266 (Marlon) 'Uh, Uh..' 323 00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,323 [gargling] 324 00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:35,270 'Ah, there we go. When I look into your eyes' 325 00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,370 I know that this is more than just mere.. 326 00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,270 ...infatuation. 327 00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,330 [chuckles] 328 00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:49,270 And, you know, Valerie.. 329 00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,300 ...this is a love that's gonna last till the end of time. 330 00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:55,503 Oh, Marlon. 331 00:15:57,383 --> 00:15:59,163 Look at me. 332 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,160 Are you always this passionate? 333 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,180 I mean, you're like a young Langston Hughes. 334 00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:05,366 Yeah, well, uh.. 335 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,120 Do I do what you do 336 00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,170 when I do mylove 337 00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,230 Excuse me, I was sittin' there. 338 00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,346 Oh, sorry, it looked to me like 339 00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:17,283 you were crawling on the floor. 340 00:16:17,316 --> 00:16:20,826 You don't understand. I need to be closer. 341 00:16:20,116 --> 00:16:22,246 I need to be closer. 342 00:16:22,283 --> 00:16:24,153 Okay. 343 00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,203 Give me your hand. 344 00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,503 Give me your hand. 345 00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,200 Come on, baby, move it. I'll give you 20 bucks. 346 00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:32,663 Come on, baby, move it. I'll give you 20 bucks. 347 00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,350 What's going on here? Talk to me. 348 00:16:38,383 --> 00:16:40,233 Uh.. Um.. Uh.. 349 00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:43,656 Someone is feeding you lines. 350 00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,330 - Uh-huh. - Get off of me! 351 00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,370 Get off of me! 352 00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,200 It's him, isn't it? 353 00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:51,353 Uh, no, it's not. 354 00:16:51,383 --> 00:16:55,003 See, these are my words. That's me, right there. 355 00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,300 Say something poetic right now. 356 00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:01,366 If you see me on the freeway 357 00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:04,183 Baby don't pass. 358 00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:06,266 Put 'em on the glass. 359 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,830 Little rittin-ittin-bittin red eye-- 360 00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:11,346 Oh, just stop it, Marlon! 361 00:17:11,383 --> 00:17:13,373 I mean, this is all been one big scam. 362 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,200 You didn't even write any of those letters. 363 00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:18,303 Alright. You got me. I.. 364 00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:22,170 I didn't write 'em. 365 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,320 I just liked you so much I had my brother write 'em for me. 366 00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,330 I don't know what to say. 367 00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:31,246 Say you love me anyhow. 368 00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,253 I'm sorry. I can't. 369 00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:36,183 I love the man who wrote those letters. 370 00:17:36,216 --> 00:17:39,146 Yeah, but, Valerie, these are, these are my words. 371 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,233 These are my feelings. 372 00:17:41,266 --> 00:17:44,496 Doesn't that count for anything? 373 00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:45,660 No. 374 00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,000 No? 375 00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,120 You're tellin' me my feelings don't count? 376 00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:56,223 You know what? I might be pathetic, okay? 377 00:17:56,250 --> 00:18:00,500 But you.. Y-you're mean, you're cold. 378 00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,500 Look at you, you're in love with a bunch of words.. 379 00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:06,230 ...when you could've been in love with a real man. 380 00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:09,096 A real skinny man, but a real man. 381 00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:15,120 Have fun cuddling with your little letter. 382 00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:21,130 Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go contain my feelings. 383 00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:26,300 - Yo, G, I'll take care of it. - Shawn, it's over. 384 00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,123 It's all over. 385 00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:33,830 Don't let her order anything. 386 00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:37,003 Look, Valerie, let me explain. 387 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:39,270 No, no, no, there's no need to explain. 388 00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:43,000 Yes, there is. My little brother's crazy about you. 389 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,120 It's just that he doesn't have any social skills. 390 00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:50,150 Never mind your brother, I mean, no one could write those words 391 00:18:50,183 --> 00:18:53,233 unless they felt them in their heart. 392 00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:56,096 And only a woman in love could feel the way 393 00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:59,223 that I feel about you. 394 00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,160 Whoa, sister, you got the wrong brother. 395 00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,120 No, baby. Don't fight your feelings. 396 00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:07,660 Hey, Lisa, isn't that Shawn? 397 00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:09,200 Kissing another woman? 398 00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:14,150 Oh.. No, i-it doesn't look like him at all. 399 00:19:14,183 --> 00:19:17,223 You know, I'm not even hungry. Let's-let's just go home. 400 00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,103 - Hi, Shawn. - Hey, Li-Lisa. 401 00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,273 Lisa, this isn't what it looks like. 402 00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,220 Listen to me. Tell her about Marlon. 403 00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,250 Marlon? 404 00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:32,183 I don't know anyone named Marlon. 405 00:19:32,216 --> 00:19:35,226 She's lyin'. She is lyin'. 406 00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:38,326 Oh, I see, I see. 407 00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,000 Oh, that's, this is real nice, real nice, Valerie. 408 00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,350 First you break my heart, and now you forget my name? 409 00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,233 Love 'em and leave 'em, huh, baby? That's your little game. 410 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,300 Marlon? 411 00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,833 Oh, Shawn, I am so sorry. 412 00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:53,366 I feel so stupid. 413 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,380 Not as stupid as you look in that outfit. 414 00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,660 Stupid this. 415 00:20:03,366 --> 00:20:06,326 [cheering] 416 00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:10,180 Oh, nice. I mean, really high class. 417 00:20:10,216 --> 00:20:12,366 Here, have some champagne. 418 00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:15,230 Uhh. 419 00:20:15,266 --> 00:20:17,326 Oh, I see. So that's how it's gonna be. 420 00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:19,246 Okay, wait. don't don't, come on, y'all. 421 00:20:19,283 --> 00:20:22,153 Come on y'all, stop. Hey, y'all, don't, I mean, don't. 422 00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:28,246 It's on now. 423 00:20:28,283 --> 00:20:30,663 People, people, please. 424 00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,270 'This is a four-star restaurant.' 425 00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:32,380 You're going down! 426 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,230 Oh. 427 00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:38,246 Well, just call me lowly servant boy? 428 00:20:38,283 --> 00:20:41,153 [screaming] 429 00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:05,000 You're goin' down. 430 00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:17,503 Oh, isn't that sweet? 431 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:20,276 Hey, Jane, thanks for taking that pie for me. 432 00:21:20,316 --> 00:21:23,316 How about a little favor in return? 433 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,380 Yeah? 434 00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,330 How about hooking me up with Marlon? 435 00:21:27,366 --> 00:21:29,156 - Marlon? - Marlon? 436 00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,000 Yeah, he's kind of cute. 437 00:21:31,330 --> 00:21:32,200 And look at the poem he wrote 438 00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:34,283 "You and me would be a doozy 439 00:21:34,316 --> 00:21:37,226 if we got naked in my Jacuzzi." 440 00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:40,153 He's so honest. 441 00:21:40,183 --> 00:21:43,203 Hey, you like that one? I got another one for you. 442 00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:47,220 "There once was a man from Nantucket.." 443 00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:51,830 [mumbling] 444 00:21:58,166 --> 00:22:01,366 "lookin' for a way to make some big fat pay. 445 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,330 "My wife came in askin' for some water. 446 00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:09,270 "I decided to charge my baby two bills and a quarter. 447 00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:14,130 "So I started selling latte by the dollar, two, and three. 448 00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,366 "They may call it fancy coffee. 449 00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,320 "But I call it.. 450 00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:20,830 Ye-de-dee." 451 00:22:20,116 --> 00:22:22,326 [applauding] 452 00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:23,180 Thank you. Thank.. 32369

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