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1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,360
Giddyup! Giddyup!
2
00:00:04,437 --> 00:00:05,563
Meet Leslie Knope.
3
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,205
I am the pants queen!
4
00:00:08,308 --> 00:00:11,243
Leslie loves whipped cream,dancing with friends,
5
00:00:11,311 --> 00:00:14,144
and working hard for the ParksDepartment of Pawnee, Indiana.
6
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,444
Cut it out, Tom.
- It never gets old.
7
00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:18,811
She also loves her coworkersat City Hall.
8
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,174
Ron Swanson.
9
00:00:22,055 --> 00:00:23,147
Tom Haverford.
10
00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:26,147
Tommy Timberlake.
11
00:00:26,226 --> 00:00:27,318
April Ludgate.
12
00:00:27,460 --> 00:00:31,089
My mom is Puerto Rican.
That's why I'm so lively and colorful.
13
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:32,324
And Andy Dwyer.
14
00:00:34,768 --> 00:00:35,757
Nailed it.
15
00:00:35,835 --> 00:00:37,735
April and Andylike each other.
16
00:00:38,104 --> 00:00:41,596
But when Andy accidentally kissedhis ex-girlfriend, Ann Perkins,
17
00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:43,664
April left.
18
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:44,766
Wait. April!
19
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:46,209
And he hasn't seen her since.
20
00:00:46,513 --> 00:00:50,279
In the midst of all this love,two black hats rode into town.
21
00:00:50,383 --> 00:00:52,010
Scientists believe that the
first human being
22
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:55,054
who will live 150 years
has already been born.
23
00:00:55,121 --> 00:00:56,554
I believe I am
that human being.
24
00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:59,524
And they brought with themsome disturbing news.
25
00:00:59,592 --> 00:01:01,059
Effective tomorrow morning,
26
00:01:01,127 --> 00:01:03,925
the entire government will be
shut down until further notice.
27
00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:05,658
What will Leslie do next?
28
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:08,257
Will April and Andy make upand make out?
29
00:01:08,368 --> 00:01:10,893
Find out this seasonon Parks and Recreation.
30
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:12,164
Starting right now.
31
00:01:18,311 --> 00:01:20,370
Ron. We're back.
32
00:01:22,082 --> 00:01:23,106
Bully.
33
00:01:23,716 --> 00:01:26,583
The bankrupt government of
Pawnee has been shut down all summer,
34
00:01:26,653 --> 00:01:28,780
so it's been three months
of no work, no meetings,
35
00:01:28,855 --> 00:01:30,823
no memos, no late
nights, nothing.
36
00:01:30,890 --> 00:01:32,448
I wouldn't wish it on
my worst enemy.
37
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,821
Rounding up the
team, so exciting.
38
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:37,786
I have goose
bumps. Feel.
39
00:01:39,833 --> 00:01:42,097
And that's why they call
me Prince Charming.
40
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:44,796
Because I always find the glass
slipper for my Cinderella.
41
00:01:45,004 --> 00:01:46,130
These are way too tight.
42
00:01:46,206 --> 00:01:48,003
Well, the real Cinderella
didn't have hippo feet.
43
00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:50,008
Tom, we're back.
44
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,269
Jeremy! Suck it!
45
00:01:52,412 --> 00:01:54,141
By the way, I've been
giving away free sports bras
46
00:01:54,214 --> 00:01:56,614
to the girls at Hot Dog
on a Stick.
47
00:01:56,683 --> 00:01:59,709
Look, we can dance all day,
but it's time to step up.
48
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:03,415
Are you buying 4,000 rubber
nipples from me or not?
49
00:02:03,490 --> 00:02:05,117
D, you have a visitor.
50
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:07,549
We back?
We're back.
51
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:08,651
All right.
52
00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:13,393
Jerry.
53
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:15,127
Oh, my gosh. Look
who's here. Leslie.
54
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:16,998
The nightmare's over, Jerry.
We're going back to work.
55
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:18,628
You're not going to
need this anymore.
56
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:22,263
Come on!
57
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:27,472
I called shotgun.
Everybody heard me.
58
00:02:50,103 --> 00:02:52,503
Well, I am usually
not one for speeches.
59
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:53,995
So, goodbye.
60
00:02:54,073 --> 00:02:56,439
Break's over, mofos.
Okay. Here's the situation.
61
00:02:56,509 --> 00:02:58,943
We are operating on a
shoestring budget.
62
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:01,071
Park services have
been slashed.
63
00:03:01,147 --> 00:03:02,637
But we are all still here.
64
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,646
And we have a job to do.
65
00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:07,385
Make the world's
biggest pizza.
66
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:09,819
No, make this town fun
for the people who live here.
67
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:12,619
Fine, but after that,
the pizza is our top priority.
68
00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:14,990
No, it's not.
We're getting pizza?
69
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:19,431
April, hey, it's me,
Andy Dwyer.
70
00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:24,433
This is like the 200th message
I've left you, without a response.
71
00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:28,072
So, if you're trying to
tell me something,
72
00:03:28,508 --> 00:03:32,535
I do not know what it is
because you won't call me back.
73
00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:36,070
It is truly great to
see all of you, huh?
74
00:03:36,549 --> 00:03:37,675
It's great news!
75
00:03:37,750 --> 00:03:39,809
Okay. I have to run. Ben.
76
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:41,911
The bad news,
77
00:03:43,590 --> 00:03:45,182
which I get to
deliver, is this.
78
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:49,389
Your only work for the time being
will be existing park maintenance.
79
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:52,590
So, that just means that
we're in maintenance mode.
80
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,025
Yeah!
Jerry!
81
00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:57,401
Okay. See, I've spent the
last few months brainstorming.
82
00:03:57,470 --> 00:04:00,564
And I have some really great ideas
and I put them in my idea binders.
83
00:04:00,640 --> 00:04:02,130
I mean, they're color coded,
for God's sake.
84
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:04,802
Okay. Actually, yeah. There is
one thing that you will be doing.
85
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:09,371
Apparently, in Indiana, if you don't provide
a basketball league, people get very upset.
86
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,809
And quite frankly,
throw things at you and call you names.
87
00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:15,016
Like Turd-boy. Whatever.
88
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,147
The point is I reinstated
youth basketball. Okay?
89
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:18,952
It says here you only
have money for two teams?
90
00:04:19,025 --> 00:04:20,287
Yeah. They're going to
develop a great rivalry.
91
00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:26,455
Under my tutelage,you will grow from boys into men,
92
00:04:26,633 --> 00:04:28,726
from men into gladiators,
93
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,770
and from gladiators
into Swansons.
94
00:04:32,405 --> 00:04:33,394
Behold!
95
00:04:34,173 --> 00:04:36,403
The Swanson Pyramid
of Greatness.
96
00:04:36,542 --> 00:04:40,410
I've been developing the Swanson
Pyramid of Greatness for years.
97
00:04:40,747 --> 00:04:44,615
It's a perfectly calibrated recipe
for maximum personal achievement.
98
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:46,378
Categories include...
99
00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:50,921
Capitalism. God's way of determining
who is smart, and who is poor.
100
00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:55,083
Crying. Acceptable at
funerals and the Grand Canyon.
101
00:04:55,328 --> 00:04:57,819
Rage. Poise. Property rights.
102
00:04:57,897 --> 00:05:00,923
Fish, for sport only,
not for meat.
103
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,865
Fish meat is practically
a vegetable.
104
00:05:03,002 --> 00:05:05,402
Haircuts. There are threeacceptable haircuts.
105
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:08,139
High and tight. Crew cut.Buzz cut.
106
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:10,299
Are the scissors broken
in your house, son?
107
00:05:11,944 --> 00:05:13,502
So, are you happy
to be back at work?
108
00:05:13,579 --> 00:05:15,911
Well, our budget's been
slashed to zero.
109
00:05:16,049 --> 00:05:18,779
I tried to buy fertilizer the
other day for the soccer field.
110
00:05:18,851 --> 00:05:20,216
Request denied.
111
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:21,981
We literally can't buy...
112
00:05:22,388 --> 00:05:23,377
I'm so sorry.
113
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:24,855
No. I mean, look,
when we were kids,
114
00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:27,222
the Parks Department
would do these big projects.
115
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,625
Winter Jamboree,
the Harvest Festival.
116
00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:32,594
It's like they don't have
faith in us anymore.
117
00:05:32,665 --> 00:05:34,155
I'm not a paper pusher, Ann.
118
00:05:34,233 --> 00:05:37,566
I need to be out in the streets,
planting trees and cracking skulls.
119
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:39,127
Leslie Knope. Ann Perkins.
120
00:05:39,872 --> 00:05:41,396
How are my two favorite
people in this entire town?
121
00:05:41,474 --> 00:05:42,498
Not good, Chris.
122
00:05:42,575 --> 00:05:43,940
There was a whole line
of people in my office
123
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,773
complaining that all their
programs have been slashed.
124
00:05:45,845 --> 00:05:49,576
Yeah, I know, it's terrible.
Is there anything we can do about that?
125
00:05:50,750 --> 00:05:52,183
No.
Damn! Sorry, Leslie.
126
00:05:52,251 --> 00:05:53,548
Ann, could I talk to
you for a minute?
127
00:05:56,956 --> 00:05:58,355
So, how's it going?
128
00:05:58,424 --> 00:06:01,518
Save it. Okay? I know you don't
have faith in me and my department,
129
00:06:01,594 --> 00:06:03,084
and that's fine.
130
00:06:03,162 --> 00:06:04,925
But don't expect me to sit
here and chitchat with you.
131
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:08,226
All right. Fair enough.
Go the other way.
132
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:10,792
But I'm just going to that...
All right, I'II...
133
00:06:11,804 --> 00:06:16,241
Look. I'm very flattered. But again,
I don't think I should go out with you.
134
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:17,765
Can I ask you why not?
135
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:21,171
Because I thought we had a great time
the night you got drunk and kissed me.
136
00:06:21,547 --> 00:06:23,538
And you did use
your tongue.
137
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:27,315
I just don't think I'm in a place
to go out with anyone right now.
138
00:06:28,221 --> 00:06:31,987
Okay. Well, if you change your mind,
you know where to find me, Ann Perkins.
139
00:06:32,258 --> 00:06:33,987
Leslie Knope.
Yes.
140
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,425
Did he ask
you out again?
141
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:39,022
He did. He did.
He is nothing if not persistent.
142
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:42,523
And hot. He's very...
He's pretty hot.
143
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:45,036
Yeah, he's hot.
But he's intense.
144
00:06:45,104 --> 00:06:47,595
But he's really, really hot.
But he's your boss.
145
00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:51,200
Oh, my God. I just thought of an idea
of how we can save the Parks Department.
146
00:06:51,277 --> 00:06:52,710
Great.
Let me ask you one question.
147
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,770
Would you be cool doing
things that a prostitute does?
148
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:58,808
Minus the money?
149
00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:02,249
Definitely yes, then.
Thanks, Ann.
150
00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:05,882
Looking sharp. Beautiful.
The backboard is your friend.
151
00:07:11,230 --> 00:07:14,961
I'd say my coaching style is
centered around fundamentals,
152
00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:16,090
with an emphasis on fun.
153
00:07:16,335 --> 00:07:17,893
Hey, watch this.
154
00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:19,026
Go get it.
Yeah!
155
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:23,041
And a second emphasis
on mental.
156
00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:24,900
Yeah, it can be hard work.
157
00:07:24,977 --> 00:07:28,743
But every time I look one of these kidsin the eyes and he calls me Coach...
158
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:33,242
That's how I know I
agreed to be a coach.
159
00:07:33,553 --> 00:07:34,713
Mouse Rat!
Mouse Rat!
160
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,354
Carnage!
- Carnage!
161
00:07:36,889 --> 00:07:41,019
Okay, gentlemen.
It's time for the pre-game coin toss.
162
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:44,296
There's no coin toss in basketball.
Are those women's sneakers?
163
00:07:44,831 --> 00:07:46,059
Yes, they are, Ron.
You know what?
164
00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,624
They fit better, I got an employee
discount, and the best part is
165
00:07:49,702 --> 00:07:50,999
no one can tell.
166
00:07:51,671 --> 00:07:52,899
All right, let's do this.
167
00:07:53,573 --> 00:07:56,133
Match point. Touchdown.
Et cetera.
168
00:07:58,244 --> 00:07:59,768
Yeah. Go, Lightning.
All right.
169
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:03,172
Okay. I like what you're wearing,
but I need it to be 300% sexier.
170
00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:05,880
Do you have any of those shirts
that look wet all the time?
171
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:07,783
Or, like, a
metal bikini?
172
00:08:07,854 --> 00:08:10,345
You know what's always
sexy? Fingerless gloves.
173
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,483
What about if I wear this
normal, sane outfit?
174
00:08:13,559 --> 00:08:15,584
Yeah. Okay, but you're going to
have to eat something sexy, then.
175
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:17,754
Like a banana.
For dinner?
176
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:20,264
Well, what's sexy
food? Asparagus?
177
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:21,527
No, you know what's sexy?
178
00:08:22,268 --> 00:08:23,735
Turkey chili.
179
00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:24,928
Yeah.
180
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:29,501
And how exactly am I supposed to
casually steer the conversation
181
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,543
towards the Parks
Department budget?
182
00:08:31,611 --> 00:08:32,669
Okay. It's totally easy.
183
00:08:33,179 --> 00:08:35,545
Tell you what. You be Chris. I'll
be you. I'll show you how it's done.
184
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:36,604
Okay.
185
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:41,882
Ann Perkins. You are wonderful and
amazing and I'm happy to be here with you.
186
00:08:42,121 --> 00:08:46,717
Thank you, Chris. I'm wearing a tuxedo
vest with no shirt on underneath.
187
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:51,162
Can I get you a drink? I love
every single beverage in the world.
188
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:52,828
I would like some wine.
189
00:08:52,899 --> 00:08:55,595
And... Oops, my vest
popped open.
190
00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,426
Just like the budget
needs to pop open
191
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:02,466
and you need to pour it
into my Parks Department.
192
00:09:03,175 --> 00:09:04,164
Great.
193
00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:08,635
I am so excited that you finally
agreed to go out with me.
194
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,438
What a magnificent
flip-flop.
195
00:09:11,250 --> 00:09:13,946
You're a magnificent
asker-outer.
196
00:09:14,353 --> 00:09:16,344
Tell me every single
detail of your day.
197
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:18,390
I love dates.
198
00:09:18,457 --> 00:09:21,483
I love connecting with
someone. I love engaging them.
199
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:25,292
I love being surprised by them.
I have never had a bad date.
200
00:09:25,398 --> 00:09:27,889
They've all been either great
or phenomenally great.
201
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:32,001
Nurses are the most undervalued
members of our society by far.
202
00:09:32,638 --> 00:09:35,232
I think all of you should make as
much money as the CEO of Google.
203
00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,472
Wow. Thank you. I agree.
204
00:09:38,878 --> 00:09:40,402
Can I ask you a question?
205
00:09:40,479 --> 00:09:41,673
Why am I so positive
all the time?
206
00:09:42,381 --> 00:09:44,315
Yes, that's exactly
the question.
207
00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:47,818
I was born with a
blood disorder.
208
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:50,822
And my parents were told that
I had three weeks to live.
209
00:09:51,591 --> 00:09:52,853
And here I still am,
210
00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:56,289
some 2,000-odd weeks later,
211
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:00,357
and I have enjoyed
every one of them.
212
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:05,270
I think it's going well.
He's actually a really nice guy.
213
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:08,205
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
So, have you asked him yet about the money?
214
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:09,968
It's a date, you know?
215
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,101
It's kind of hard to casually
bring up the Parks budget
216
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,805
when you're talking about
your favorite movies.
217
00:10:13,879 --> 00:10:17,815
Jurassic Park. Parks are so
great. The Parks Department needs money.
218
00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:18,872
I just did it in three moves.
219
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:20,748
Well, then, why don't you just
come here and do it yourself?
220
00:10:20,820 --> 00:10:22,082
Okay.
Holy crap!
221
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:26,114
What? Chris and Ann,
what are you two doing here?
222
00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:29,318
We are on a date.
And it is going phenomenally.
223
00:10:29,395 --> 00:10:31,124
Thanks, but I'll stay
for just one drink.
224
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:34,497
I am so happy I ran into you, because
I wanted to speak to you about...
225
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,057
Well, well, well.
226
00:10:36,135 --> 00:10:38,501
Ben. What a fun surprise.
227
00:10:38,571 --> 00:10:40,971
That's right, you were coming
here tonight on a date.
228
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,409
And hey, Leslie is joining you on
this wonderfully romantic occasion.
229
00:10:45,778 --> 00:10:47,575
How about that?
- Fantastic!
230
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:48,636
It is.
231
00:10:48,714 --> 00:10:49,806
Can I talk to you?
Sure.
232
00:10:50,149 --> 00:10:52,674
What are you doing here? BEN: Just
confirming a suspicion I had, Leslie.
233
00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:55,118
What are you talking about?
I had nothing to do with this date.
234
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:57,815
They're both so beautiful. They probably
just want to see each other naked.
235
00:10:57,890 --> 00:11:01,087
Okay. Well, I know what you're trying to do,
and you're not that good at being sneaky.
236
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:02,286
Yes, I am.
No, you're not.
237
00:11:02,361 --> 00:11:04,022
I'm great at being sneaky.
- Clearly, you're not.
238
00:11:04,096 --> 00:11:08,157
Hey. You guys, let's all have dinner
together. The more the merrier.
239
00:11:09,235 --> 00:11:10,634
Great.
Great.
240
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:12,330
Great job, guys. Yep.
241
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,101
All right, Eric. Taking
a rest, or are you hurt?
242
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:17,665
Taking a rest? Smart.
243
00:11:18,077 --> 00:11:20,978
Destroy them, gentlemen.
Feel no sympathy.
244
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:26,517
Yes, Ron Swanson isdating my ex-wife, Wendy.
245
00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:30,520
Big deal. My girlfriend, Lucy,
is the sexiest woman in town.
246
00:11:30,756 --> 00:11:32,587
She's Cuban, she'sgot tattoos,
247
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:34,148
and she's into me,
248
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:38,026
which, as far as I'm concerned,
is the sexiest quality a woman can have.
249
00:11:38,497 --> 00:11:40,124
Oh, I have an idea.
You know what would be really fun?
250
00:11:40,199 --> 00:11:43,191
After dinner, we should take a
walk by the pond in Ramsett Park.
251
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:44,759
Walking in parks can
be very romantic.
252
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,896
Yeah, too bad the park's
always closed, though.
253
00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,803
Okay. Well, you two
are on a date.
254
00:11:49,241 --> 00:11:51,573
So, Leslie and I should
probably get going.
255
00:11:53,713 --> 00:11:55,943
Well, I'm actually having
a good time with everyone.
256
00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,110
Chris?
Me, too.
257
00:11:58,184 --> 00:11:59,310
I'm having a
fantastic time.
258
00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:01,952
What do you say we take this whole
"date-plus-two- other-people" thing
259
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:03,010
up into the stratosphere?
260
00:12:09,962 --> 00:12:11,486
This place is outstanding!
261
00:12:12,031 --> 00:12:13,931
Great call, Leslie Knope.
Thanks.
262
00:12:14,166 --> 00:12:15,895
Look.
Even Ben's dancing.
263
00:12:18,971 --> 00:12:21,235
That's the way to shoot the
ball, Chignoli. Hustle back.
264
00:12:28,147 --> 00:12:30,513
That's a foul!
What? On whom?
265
00:12:31,083 --> 00:12:33,608
Your team. Number 50.
He was double dribbling.
266
00:12:33,686 --> 00:12:35,586
He's on defense.
Exactly.
267
00:12:35,988 --> 00:12:37,455
That's a technical
difficulty.
268
00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:41,357
So, that means Andy's team throws the
ball from the stripey thing. Let's go!
269
00:12:41,894 --> 00:12:43,486
"The stripey thing"?
270
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,495
Hey, there,
how's it going?
271
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,331
Great, thanks.
272
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:56,867
Can I buy you a drink?
273
00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,441
I'm very flattered.
274
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:02,276
But this is my stunningly
gorgeous date, Ann Perkins.
275
00:13:03,582 --> 00:13:04,742
Hi.
Hi.
276
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,081
Sorry.
No problem.
277
00:13:07,153 --> 00:13:10,884
In fact, let me buy all of you a
drink for being so welcoming today.
278
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:12,913
Waiter!
279
00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:16,458
I think I may
actually like Chris.
280
00:13:17,696 --> 00:13:20,096
On the house, Leslie.
Thank you.
281
00:13:21,033 --> 00:13:22,830
I'm sort of a gay hero.
282
00:13:23,869 --> 00:13:26,895
Last year, I married two penguins at the zoo,
and it turned out they were both gay.
283
00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:28,428
Penguin wedding?
Mm-hmm.
284
00:13:28,908 --> 00:13:30,876
That's cute.
It was so cute.
285
00:13:31,443 --> 00:13:32,432
But enough about
how cute it was.
286
00:13:32,511 --> 00:13:33,739
Why don't you think
I should have the money?
287
00:13:34,113 --> 00:13:35,546
Good Lord. Really?
288
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:40,212
Look. When I was 18 and I
became mayor of my hometown,
289
00:13:41,253 --> 00:13:45,314
I used every last dollar we had to
open a giant winter sports complex.
290
00:13:45,391 --> 00:13:46,415
Called it Ice Town.
291
00:13:46,492 --> 00:13:47,789
And it turned out great
and everyone loved it.
292
00:13:47,893 --> 00:13:51,124
Yeah, kind of. It was never completed,
and I got impeached.
293
00:13:52,097 --> 00:13:56,830
The newspaper headline was, "Ice
Town Costs Ice Clown His Town Crown."
294
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,770
They were big into rhymes.
295
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,633
Well, I don't know.
I think Ice Town sounds great.
296
00:14:02,908 --> 00:14:05,308
And the point is,
at least you tried something.
297
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:08,973
Foul!
298
00:14:10,015 --> 00:14:12,643
Foul on number three for taking
a number two on number four.
299
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:16,446
Roughing the passer!
300
00:14:16,522 --> 00:14:17,955
Double dribbling!
That's a foul!
301
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:20,082
That's a foul for touching
the basketball.
302
00:14:20,159 --> 00:14:23,492
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing. You fouled. You can't do anything.
303
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:27,154
Okay. You're ejected.
You're ejected.
304
00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:30,862
What's the matter there, Ron?
No players left?
305
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:34,465
Andy's team! Look at them go!
306
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:37,236
Oh, come on. Now, you're openly
cheering for the other team?
307
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:38,833
Put my boys back in.
308
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,344
You made me the ref.
Deal with it.
309
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,073
You know what?
Take this uniform off. Hey! Hey!
310
00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:43,944
You don't deserve to wear it.
311
00:14:44,783 --> 00:14:47,718
Ron's ejected for molesting the ref!
Yeah? I'm ejected?
312
00:14:47,786 --> 00:14:48,878
Tom, what are you doing?
- Yes, you are.
313
00:14:49,488 --> 00:14:51,820
I'm ejecting you. You're ejected, too.
Everyone's ejected.
314
00:14:51,891 --> 00:14:53,449
She's ejected?
Yeah!
315
00:14:58,597 --> 00:15:00,155
Go ahead, go!
316
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:02,525
Well, that's a forfeit.
Andy's team wins.
317
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:04,694
No way! We won?
318
00:15:04,770 --> 00:15:06,465
Oh, man! Eat it!
319
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,374
Andy! Andy! Andy!
- Andy! Andy! Andy!
320
00:15:10,709 --> 00:15:11,733
Yeah!
321
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,401
Yes!
322
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,641
I dedicate this victoryto April Ludgate.
323
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:21,379
It feels good. And it feels sticky.
From the Gatorade.
324
00:15:22,788 --> 00:15:25,848
We're barely able to function.
We could really use that money.
325
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:28,723
Well, you know, I don't know if
it's because I'm in such a good mood
326
00:15:28,794 --> 00:15:30,591
or because of the
charming Ann Perkins,
327
00:15:30,663 --> 00:15:32,460
but I am going to
seriously consider that.
328
00:15:32,965 --> 00:15:35,433
Really? That's great.
Mission accomplished.
329
00:15:35,968 --> 00:15:37,833
Let's boogie.
Mission accomplished?
330
00:15:41,206 --> 00:15:45,074
Yeah. There's a mission
that Ann had thought of.
331
00:15:46,445 --> 00:15:48,640
It was both of our ideas,
but it was mostly Ann's.
332
00:15:49,748 --> 00:15:50,772
We...
333
00:15:50,983 --> 00:15:54,510
I had mentioned to Ann that it would
be fun if you two went on a date.
334
00:15:54,586 --> 00:15:57,646
So, then, you could talk
about the money,
335
00:15:57,723 --> 00:15:59,987
and then, you know,
maybe give it to me.
336
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:03,417
Wow.
337
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:09,163
I've just had my
first bad date.
338
00:16:10,102 --> 00:16:11,160
Ann Perkins.
339
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,229
Not that sneaky.
340
00:16:25,351 --> 00:16:26,409
April!
341
00:16:29,955 --> 00:16:32,116
April! Where have you
been? Oh, my God.
342
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:33,682
Hey. How are you?
343
00:16:33,759 --> 00:16:35,954
I'm okay. I'm dying
to see you.
344
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:39,163
I called and I texted you,
like, a billion times.
345
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,722
I'm sorry. I was
in Venezuela.
346
00:16:43,268 --> 00:16:44,394
Really? Wow.
347
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,202
Across the pond.
348
00:16:48,374 --> 00:16:50,968
Wow. I thought maybe I would have
heard from you at least once.
349
00:16:51,043 --> 00:16:52,032
Because of what happened.
350
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:57,715
Ann kissing me? I am so sorry about that.
It was so stupid and it meant nothing.
351
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,644
I wouldn't worry about it.
It's totally fine.
352
00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,210
Hey.
353
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:05,221
This is my
boyfriend, Eduardo.
354
00:17:05,357 --> 00:17:06,654
No, it's not.
355
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:10,726
That means we're
going to lunch.
356
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:13,458
How do you say, "Have a great time,
don't choke on anything"?
357
00:17:13,532 --> 00:17:14,590
Bye.
358
00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:23,200
Leslie asked me to do her a favor.
And I love her, so I did it.
359
00:17:23,609 --> 00:17:25,839
I'm sorry, and I'm
here to eat crow.
360
00:17:26,311 --> 00:17:27,300
I like you a lot.
361
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:29,243
Let's go out again.
362
00:17:31,850 --> 00:17:33,715
Ann Perkins.
363
00:17:35,387 --> 00:17:37,287
Budget solution number 28.
364
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:41,292
Use grazing sheep to
mow grass in parks.
365
00:17:42,761 --> 00:17:47,425
Note. Tired sheep could
become food or sweaters.
366
00:17:50,202 --> 00:17:51,726
Well, I got my answer.
367
00:17:52,571 --> 00:17:56,337
About April. She hates me. Yeah.
And she got a boyfriend, I guess.
368
00:17:56,642 --> 00:18:00,578
From some city in
Mexico. So what do I do?
369
00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,748
Okay.
Well, when your back's against the wall
370
00:18:04,817 --> 00:18:07,149
and odds are stacked
against you,
371
00:18:08,120 --> 00:18:09,348
you just... You...
372
00:18:09,788 --> 00:18:11,722
You swing the
hardest, damn it.
373
00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:12,949
You go big or you go home.
374
00:18:13,559 --> 00:18:15,254
And you don't seem like the
kind of guy who goes home.
375
00:18:15,861 --> 00:18:17,829
I'm not. I don't even
really have a home.
376
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,028
Go get her, Andy.
Okay!
377
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,464
Okay, thanks, Leslie.
378
00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,930
Okay. So, we know the people who run
this government have no faith in us.
379
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:30,941
My plan is going to change
that and bring the budget back.
380
00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:33,278
And the answer's been right
in front of us the whole time.
381
00:18:33,912 --> 00:18:36,346
Check your testicles?
No. Not that.
382
00:18:36,415 --> 00:18:38,883
Although that is very good advice.
Looking at you, Jerry.
383
00:18:38,951 --> 00:18:41,579
No. What's going to
save us is right there.
384
00:18:43,122 --> 00:18:46,888
Gentlemen, I realize that times
are tough and the budget is tight.
385
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:49,988
But if the people of this
town have nothing else to do
386
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,895
but sit in their houses and
play video games,
387
00:18:52,965 --> 00:18:54,762
then Pawnee will die.
388
00:18:55,400 --> 00:18:57,425
And we refuse to
let that happen.
389
00:18:58,871 --> 00:18:59,860
Now.
390
00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,540
This town was historically
known for two things.
391
00:19:04,176 --> 00:19:05,643
Widespread obesity,
392
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:09,207
and the annual Pawnee
Harvest Festival.
393
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:12,775
People from all over Indiana
would come and gaze in wonderment
394
00:19:12,851 --> 00:19:14,318
at how fat our citizens were.
395
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:16,953
And while they were here,
they would also attend the Festival,
396
00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:23,325
a full week of corn mazes, hay rides,
Ferris wheels, pumpkins the size ofjeeps.
397
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:27,856
We lost that festival a few years ago,
due to another round of budget cuts.
398
00:19:29,001 --> 00:19:31,196
And I propose we bring
the festival back.
399
00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:34,495
With ticket sales and corporate sponsorship,
we'll earn all that money back.
400
00:19:34,573 --> 00:19:35,801
And believe me,
people will come.
401
00:19:36,241 --> 00:19:37,333
What if they don't?
402
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:38,768
Well,
403
00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,572
then you eliminate the
Parks Department.
404
00:19:43,549 --> 00:19:45,278
And you guys are all
on board with this.
405
00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,840
Aye.
- Yes.
406
00:19:47,719 --> 00:19:49,084
Look, we're not
just pencil-pushers.
407
00:19:50,255 --> 00:19:52,280
We are a reflection
of the community.
408
00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,786
And we believe that we can
strengthen that community.
409
00:19:56,428 --> 00:19:57,827
Because in the end,
410
00:19:57,896 --> 00:19:59,830
the reason why we're all here
411
00:20:00,632 --> 00:20:02,691
is to bring people together.
412
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:09,567
That, literally,
413
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,867
is the most moving thing
I've ever heard.
414
00:20:14,279 --> 00:20:15,268
And a good idea.
415
00:20:18,483 --> 00:20:19,677
Yeah, all right.
416
00:20:19,785 --> 00:20:21,252
Excellent! Great!
417
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,153
Okay. So, everybody,
we're going to party hard for 15 minutes
418
00:20:24,223 --> 00:20:26,487
and then, we're going to have
our first brainstorming session.
419
00:20:32,431 --> 00:20:33,420
Hello, April.
420
00:20:34,499 --> 00:20:35,523
Do you like
the flowers?
421
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,026
What are you doing?
422
00:20:37,603 --> 00:20:40,299
All due respect, Eduardo.
You seem like a great guy.
423
00:20:40,372 --> 00:20:44,001
But I like April. And I'm coming
after her with everything I've got.
424
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,976
So, do you want to
go out with me?
425
00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:47,033
No.
426
00:20:49,481 --> 00:20:51,574
I thought you were going to say yes.
But that's okay.
427
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:53,550
Because I'll be back tomorrow
to ask you again.
428
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:56,683
And again the next day.
And the next day.
429
00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,750
Not Friday. I have to
go visit my cousin.
430
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,788
But I will be back after
that to ask you again.
431
00:21:13,038 --> 00:21:16,337
You should do it.
Follow your dream.
432
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:19,536
Oh, my God. Really?
That's awesome.
433
00:21:20,846 --> 00:21:22,837
I'll see you tomorrow.
34465
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