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1
00:00:01,168 --> 00:00:06,738
PREVIOUSLY ON MAD ABOUT YOU...
2
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,595
♪ TELL ME WHY ♪
3
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:54,430
♪ I LOVE YOU LIKE I DO ♪
4
00:00:54,454 --> 00:00:55,932
♪ TELL ME WHO ♪
5
00:00:55,956 --> 00:00:58,434
♪ CAN STOP MY HEART
AS MUCH AS YOU ♪
6
00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:00,436
♪ LET'S TAKE EACH OTHER'S HAND ♪
7
00:01:00,460 --> 00:01:01,704
♪ AS WE JUMP INTO ♪
8
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:04,473
♪ THE FINAL FRONTIER ♪
9
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:07,966
♪ I'M MAD ABOUT YOU, BABY ♪♪
10
00:01:18,979 --> 00:01:20,924
GET OUT OF HERE.
11
00:01:20,948 --> 00:01:23,560
YOU GET OUT OF HERE.
12
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:25,028
OH, GET OUTTA HERE!
13
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,864
YOU GET OUTTA HERE.
14
00:01:27,888 --> 00:01:29,220
C'MERE!
15
00:01:35,729 --> 00:01:38,408
GET OUTTA HERE!
16
00:01:38,432 --> 00:01:40,443
MY GOSH, WHAT ARE YOU
SAYING? WHAT ARE YOU TELLING ME?
17
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:41,611
YOU'RE PREGNANT?
18
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,212
SO THERE'S, LIKE,
AN ACTUAL, LITTLE,
19
00:01:43,236 --> 00:01:46,215
YOU-AND-ME COMBINATION
RIGHT IN THERE?
20
00:01:46,239 --> 00:01:49,052
OH, MY G... THIS IS... YOU
KNOW WHAT? THIS IS JUST SO...
21
00:01:49,076 --> 00:01:50,052
POETIC.
22
00:01:50,076 --> 00:01:52,755
YEAH, BUT IT'S SO...
YOU KNOW, IT... IT'S...
23
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:53,957
MAGICAL.
24
00:01:53,981 --> 00:01:55,325
YEAH... NO, IT
DEFINITELY IS THAT.
25
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,627
WHAT AM I THINKING, THOUGH?
IT'S, LIKE, THE WAY IT ALL...
26
00:01:57,651 --> 00:01:59,229
SUBLIME.
27
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:03,066
UM... NO, NO... WHAT?
28
00:02:03,090 --> 00:02:06,435
IT'S... THIS IS GOOD.
29
00:02:06,459 --> 00:02:07,539
MM-HMM.
30
00:02:15,735 --> 00:02:17,168
WHO IS IT?
31
00:02:18,505 --> 00:02:20,116
Ira: HEY, IT'S ME!
32
00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:22,118
OH, MAN, WHAT IS
HE DOING HERE NOW?
33
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,386
I DON'T KNOW, BUT
THIS IS PERFECT.
34
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:24,520
IRA WILL BE THE FIRST
PERSON WE GET TO TELL.
35
00:02:24,544 --> 00:02:25,789
W-W-W-WAIT! WAIT! WAIT!
36
00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,124
JUST TELLING PEOPLE?
THAT'S WHAT WE'RE DOING?
37
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,359
YEAH. WHY WOULDN'T
WE? I DON'T KNOW.
38
00:02:30,383 --> 00:02:31,995
THEY'RE GOING TO
FIGURE IT OUT EVENTUALLY.
39
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:34,130
WE'LL SHOW UP ONE DAY, WE GOT A
7-YEAR-OLD, THEY'RE GONNA KNOW.
40
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,600
NO. LET'S JUST KEEP IT
BETWEEN US FOR NOW.
41
00:02:36,624 --> 00:02:38,234
Ira, rapping on door: HEY,
YOU GUYS! OPEN UP!
42
00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:39,369
WA-WAIT! WHY? WHY?
43
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:40,870
A MILLION REASONS.
44
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:43,339
FIRST OF ALL, WE DON'T
KNOW ANYTHING FOR SURE.
45
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,607
AS OF NOW, THE ONLY REAL NEWS
46
00:02:44,631 --> 00:02:46,876
IS THAT I'VE SUCCESSFULLY
PEED ON A STICK.
47
00:02:46,900 --> 00:02:48,278
YEAH, BUT...
48
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:50,013
AND WE DON'T EVEN HAVE
CONFIRMATION FROM A GYNECOLOGIST.
49
00:02:50,037 --> 00:02:51,014
MARK IS IN EUROPE.
50
00:02:51,038 --> 00:02:52,215
HE'LL BE BACK.
51
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:53,216
IN THREE MONTHS.
52
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:55,118
WE SHOULD PROBABLY
FIND OUT BEFORE THEN.
53
00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,420
ALL RIGHT.
54
00:02:58,445 --> 00:02:59,455
Ira: I'M STANDIN' OUT HERE!
55
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:00,824
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU WANT TO TELL.
56
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,991
YOU'RE THE SUPERSTITIOUS ONE.
57
00:03:02,015 --> 00:03:03,960
YOU KNOW, TELLING IS
BAD LUCK. IS THAT TRUE?
58
00:03:03,984 --> 00:03:05,962
YES. YOU DON'T TELL THIS EARLY.
59
00:03:05,986 --> 00:03:07,530
HOW MANY TIMES
HAVE YOU DONE THIS?
60
00:03:07,554 --> 00:03:11,201
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT
THREE MONTHS IN, FOUR MONTHS IN.
61
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:13,036
THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT.
YOU KNOW, THINGS CAN HAPPEN.
62
00:03:13,060 --> 00:03:15,338
THINGS CAN GO WRONG.
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT.
63
00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,775
Ira pounding on door:
OPEN THE DAMN DOOR!
64
00:03:18,799 --> 00:03:21,544
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, IT'S
YOUR STICK. IT'S YOUR URINE.
65
00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:22,979
THANK YOU.
66
00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:24,714
Ira: COME ON, ALREADY!
67
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:26,149
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT! ALL RIGHT!
68
00:03:26,173 --> 00:03:28,518
HEY, BY THE WAY, NICE GOING.
69
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,320
HMM. YOU, TOO.
70
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,089
ALL RIGHT, STAND
BACK! I'M COMIN' IN!
71
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,391
I THINK I'M BLEEDIN'.
72
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:35,725
LET ME GET YOU A BAND-AID.
73
00:03:35,749 --> 00:03:37,193
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
74
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,862
I'M WALKIN' DOWN THE STREET,
MINDIN' MY OWN BUSINESS.
75
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,864
SOME LADY YELLS
OUT, "HEY, JOSE!"
76
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:45,034
I DON'T KNOW WHY,
BUT I TURN AROUND.
77
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,169
YOU'RE NOT JOSE.
78
00:03:46,193 --> 00:03:47,336
EXACTLY.
79
00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,171
SHE'S SWINGIN' AT
ME, SWINGIN' AT ME!
80
00:03:49,195 --> 00:03:51,975
I'M COVERIN' MYSELF UP. I'M
SAYIN', "I'M NOT JOSE. I AM NOT JOSE.
81
00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:53,243
DO I LOOK LIKE JOSE?"
82
00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,512
I DON'T UNDERSTAND,
'CAUSE YOU'RE NOT JOSE.
83
00:03:55,536 --> 00:03:58,381
I KNOW! BUT SHE THINKS
THAT I'M JOSE, PAULY.
84
00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,816
SHE'S HITTIN' ME
AND GRABBIN' ME!
85
00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:03,386
AND SHE'S CURSIN'
AT ME IN SPANISH.
86
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,189
IS IT POSSIBLE
THAT... I AM JOSE?
87
00:04:06,213 --> 00:04:07,556
YOU'RE NOT JOSE.
88
00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:10,593
THEN WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU
TWO SO LONG TO ANSWER THE DOOR?
89
00:04:10,617 --> 00:04:11,895
OH, SORRY ABOUT
THAT. WE WERE JUST...
90
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:12,895
UH, DEBATING.
91
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,164
DEBATING?
92
00:04:14,188 --> 00:04:15,598
MORE LIKE DISCUSSING.
DISCUSSING, DEBATING.
93
00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:16,699
DEBATING, DISCUSSING,
SPECULATING.
94
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:17,867
SPECULATING.
95
00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,102
SPECULATING? ON WHAT?
96
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,637
WHATEVER. WHO REMEMBERS?
97
00:04:20,661 --> 00:04:23,072
HEY, GUYS, WH-WHAT'S GOING ON?
98
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,206
NOTHING.
99
00:04:24,230 --> 00:04:26,108
PAULY, COME ON. I KNOW
SOMETHING'S GOING ON.
100
00:04:26,132 --> 00:04:27,610
ALL RIGHT...
NOTHING IS GOING ON.
101
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:28,914
NOTHING IS GOING ON.
102
00:04:30,037 --> 00:04:31,547
SOMETHING IS GOIN' ON.
103
00:04:31,571 --> 00:04:33,916
ALL RIGHT. SOMETHING
IS GOING ON.
104
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,418
NOTHING IS GOING ON.
105
00:04:35,442 --> 00:04:36,919
NOTHING IS GOING ON.
106
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:38,354
ALL RIGHT, WE'RE
GOING TO TELL YOU,
107
00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:39,689
BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISE
NOT TO TELL ANYBODY.
108
00:04:39,713 --> 00:04:40,923
I THOUGHT YOU SAID
NOTHING IS GOING ON.
109
00:04:40,947 --> 00:04:42,191
HE KNOWS SOMETHING IS GOING ON.
110
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:43,726
OH, SOMETHING IS GOING ON.
111
00:04:43,750 --> 00:04:44,727
THE TRUTH IS...
112
00:04:44,751 --> 00:04:46,262
AND THIS IS REALLY SOMETHING.
113
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:49,265
WE HAVE TO FIND A
NEW GYNECOLOGIST.
114
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,889
HOW ABOUT THAT?
115
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:54,771
MARK AND FRAN
ARE IN EUROPE, SO...
116
00:04:54,795 --> 00:04:56,239
IS EVERYTHING OK?
117
00:04:56,263 --> 00:04:58,441
YES, YES, YES! EVERYTHING'S
FINE. EVERYTHING'S GREAT.
118
00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,243
IT'S JUST A LITTLE... IT'S
A PERSONAL MATTER.
119
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:01,577
PERSONAL MATTER?
120
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:02,711
IT'S A PERSONAL,
PRIVATE, DELICATE...
121
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:03,713
IT'S A WOMAN THING.
122
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,749
SAY NO MORE.
123
00:05:05,773 --> 00:05:08,184
I'VE BEEN GOING THROUGH
THE YELLOW PAGES,
124
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:09,986
THROUGH FRIENDS'
RECOMMENDATIONS,
125
00:05:10,010 --> 00:05:11,554
THAT ARTICLE IN
NEW YORK MAGAZINE
126
00:05:11,578 --> 00:05:13,256
ON THE BEST DOCTORS IN NEW YORK.
127
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:15,791
HEY, HEY, HEY! WHAT ABOUT JOAN?
128
00:05:15,815 --> 00:05:16,826
JOAN WHO?
129
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:17,827
WHAT, DEBBIE'S JOAN?
130
00:05:17,851 --> 00:05:19,428
YEAH, YEAH. SHE'S
A GYNECOLOGIST.
131
00:05:19,452 --> 00:05:20,429
YEAH? SO?
132
00:05:20,453 --> 00:05:21,931
YEAH, BUT... NO, RIGHT?
133
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,166
I DON'T THINK SO.
134
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,333
WHY?
135
00:05:24,357 --> 00:05:25,802
WELL, IT'S JUST TOO
WEIRD. I MEAN, JOAN IS...
136
00:05:25,826 --> 00:05:27,236
SHE'S MY SISTER'S GIRLFRIEND.
137
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,638
YOU KNOW, SHE'S FAMILY.
138
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,573
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO
FAMILY FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS.
139
00:05:30,597 --> 00:05:33,976
YOU KNOW, IF IT WERE A FOOT
OR, GOD FORBID, A SHOULDER...
140
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,313
FINE. YOU KNOW, THEN YOU COULD
GO SEE A FRIEND OR AN UNCLE.
141
00:05:36,337 --> 00:05:37,714
BUT FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS...
142
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,517
TO ME, ANYTHING THAT INVOLVES
THE REMOVING OF THE UNDERWEAR,
143
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,785
YOU... NO, YOU DON'T
WANNA MESS AROUND.
144
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:45,287
AND PLUS, JAMIE IS
GONNA HAVE THE BEST.
145
00:05:45,311 --> 00:05:46,823
OH, OF COURSE!
146
00:05:46,847 --> 00:05:48,758
YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE THE
BEST HOUSE OR THE BEST CAR
147
00:05:48,782 --> 00:05:50,193
OR THE BEST, YOU
KNOW, PIECE OF CHICKEN...
148
00:05:50,217 --> 00:05:51,728
HEY, HEY, YOU DON'T WANT
A BAD PIECE OF CHICKEN.
149
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:54,364
CERTAINLY NOT, BUT YOU
UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYIN'.
150
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,398
YOU WANT THE BEST.
151
00:05:55,422 --> 00:05:56,399
EXACTLY.
152
00:05:56,423 --> 00:05:57,400
I UNDERSTAND.
153
00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,002
IN FACT, I CAN HELP YOU.
154
00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,004
WHAT, 'CAUSE YOU HAVE
A GOOD GYNECOLOGIST?
155
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,172
NO, NO, BUT I COULD
HELP FIND YOU ONE.
156
00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:05,908
I WILL FIND YOU THE BEST
GYNECOLOGIST IN NEW YORK CITY.
157
00:06:05,932 --> 00:06:06,943
OH, YOU KNOW WHAT?
158
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:08,378
LISTEN, YOU DON'T
HAVE TO DO THAT.
159
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:09,445
COME ON. IT'LL BE A PLEASURE.
160
00:06:09,469 --> 00:06:10,513
IRA, REALLY, YOU
DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT.
161
00:06:10,537 --> 00:06:12,148
PLEASE, ALLOW ME
TO DO THIS FOR YOU.
162
00:06:13,307 --> 00:06:14,850
THERE'S NO REASON,
REALLY, THAT YOU SHOULD...
163
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:15,918
HELLO.
164
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:21,880
JOSE, IT'S FOR YOU.
165
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,698
Jamie: OK. THIS IS FOR THURSDAY.
166
00:06:28,722 --> 00:06:30,600
WE'VE GOT DR. KOEFFLER AT 10:00,
167
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,870
THEN I'LL MEET YOU AT DR. KHALSA
AT 1:00 AND AT 3:00, DR. NOH.
168
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:38,040
DR. NO? YOU'RE GONNA USE
SEAN CONNERY'S GYNECOLOGIST?
169
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:40,176
N-O-H. HE'S KOREAN.
170
00:06:40,200 --> 00:06:42,512
JUST MAKIN' A JOKE.
DON'T BE OFFENDED.
171
00:06:42,536 --> 00:06:44,214
WE MIGHT HAVE TO GO
WITH ONE OF THESE GUYS
172
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:45,848
IF WE CAN'T GET IN TO
SEE DR. VONDERPHAL.
173
00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:47,739
♪ DR. VONDERPHAL ♪
174
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,187
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE FUN
OF EVERY NAME OR WHAT?
175
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:53,389
NO, BUT COME ON,
DR. VONDERPHAL? HE'S ASKIN' FOR IT.
176
00:06:53,413 --> 00:06:55,057
HE'S THE GUY I WAS
TELLING YOU ABOUT.
177
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,261
HE'S THE BEST. NEW YORK MAGAZINE
DID A WHOLE PROFILE JUST ON HIM.
178
00:06:58,285 --> 00:06:59,729
HE WAS ON NIGHTLINE.
179
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,365
ANTHONY EDWARDS' CHARACTER
IN ER IS BASED ON THIS GUY.
180
00:07:02,389 --> 00:07:03,366
IS THAT TRUE?
181
00:07:03,390 --> 00:07:04,367
YES!
182
00:07:04,391 --> 00:07:05,801
THAT'S SO COOL.
183
00:07:05,825 --> 00:07:08,271
HEY, LISTEN, IF VONDERPHAL
IS THE GUY, AND HE'S THE BEST,
184
00:07:08,295 --> 00:07:10,172
DEN VONDERPHAL IS DE VUN.
185
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:11,674
VONDERPHAL? DR. VONDERPHAL?
186
00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:12,675
HEY, DEB.
187
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:13,676
HI.
188
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:14,677
HI.
189
00:07:14,701 --> 00:07:16,679
YOU'RE GONNA SEE DR. VONDERPHAL?
190
00:07:16,703 --> 00:07:18,481
IS IT VONDERPHAL,
OR VON-DER-PHAL?
191
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:21,217
'CAUSE EITHER WAY,
IT'S QUITE VONDERFUL.
192
00:07:21,241 --> 00:07:22,385
IT'S NOTHING. IT'S JUST...
193
00:07:22,409 --> 00:07:25,221
IT'S A WOMAN THING.
I SHOULD THINK SO.
194
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:26,689
AND MARK'S OUTTA
TOWN, SO WE'RE JUST...
195
00:07:26,713 --> 00:07:29,058
WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE JOAN?
I'LL GET YOU AN APPOINTMENT.
196
00:07:29,082 --> 00:07:30,826
NO. THAT'S OK. WE DON'T
WANNA BOTHER YOU.
197
00:07:30,850 --> 00:07:32,561
OH, NO BOTHER. I'LL CALL
HER RIGHT AFTER LUNCH.
198
00:07:32,585 --> 00:07:33,596
YOU SHOULDN'T GO OUT OF
YOUR WAY, BECAUSE MARK...
199
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,598
JUST CONSIDER IT DONE.
200
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:41,170
SO... ONLY 96 HOURS, 15
MINUTES, AND 12 SECONDS
201
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:43,540
UNTIL MOM AND DAD
FINALLY MEET JOAN.
202
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:46,609
RELAX. I'M SURE THE BIG NEWS
WAS THAT YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND.
203
00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:49,378
YEAH. NOW YOU'RE
JUST GIVING THEM A FACE
204
00:07:49,402 --> 00:07:51,881
TO ATTACH ALL THE SLEEPLESS
NIGHTS SPENT CRYING.
205
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,383
THANK YOU, PAUL.
206
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:57,342
SEE HOW NICE I AM WHEN
YOU COME OUT OF THE CLOSET.
207
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:01,423
WHAT DOES SHE MEAN BY THAT?
208
00:08:01,447 --> 00:08:03,827
ANYWAY, FOR THE JOAN
MEETING, I STILL CAN'T DECIDE:
209
00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,261
DINNER OR LUNCH?
210
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:08,798
WELL, IT'S REALLY WHICH WOULD
YOU RATHER SEE MOM CHOKE ON?
211
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:09,799
LUNCH.
212
00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:10,800
YES?
213
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,669
LUNCH. DEFINITELY.
214
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:13,670
DAYLIGHT.
215
00:08:13,694 --> 00:08:15,071
OK.
216
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:17,373
'CAUSE I HAVE IT DOWN
TO TWO RESTAURANTS:
217
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:20,242
UH, TAVERN ON THE
GREEN... NOPE. NO?
218
00:08:20,266 --> 00:08:22,445
A RESTAURANT? A
NEUTRAL LOCATION? UH-UH.
219
00:08:22,469 --> 00:08:24,714
NEUTRAL LOCATION. UH-UH.
220
00:08:24,738 --> 00:08:27,350
NEUTRAL LOCATION,
SHE'LL EAT YOU ALIVE.
221
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,885
THIS IS INTERESTING.
222
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:31,354
YOU NEED THE HOME FIELD
ADVANTAGE: YOUR OWN BACKYARD.
223
00:08:31,378 --> 00:08:34,924
YES, BECAUSE THEN, SHE CAN'T
AMBUSH ME IN MY OWN LIVING ROOM.
224
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,826
SHE CAN, BUT IT'S A
LITTLE BIT MORE DIFFICULT.
225
00:08:36,850 --> 00:08:38,194
LISTEN TO HER.
226
00:08:38,218 --> 00:08:39,829
SHE'S VERY CLEVER ABOUT THIS.
227
00:08:39,853 --> 00:08:40,897
YES, YES.
228
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,732
THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
229
00:08:42,756 --> 00:08:43,966
I'M GONNA HAVE A
NICE SIT-DOWN LUNCH.
230
00:08:43,990 --> 00:08:46,169
NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. NO.
231
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:47,970
BUFFET. BUFFET, BUFFET, BUFFET.
232
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:50,907
MOLLIFIES HER, GIVES HER
THE ILLUSION OF CONTROL.
233
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:53,342
YOU... YOU COULD DO
THIS PROFESSIONALLY.
234
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:54,977
I'M TELLING YOU,
SHE'S VERY GOOD.
235
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,679
YEAH. THIS IS EXACTLY
WHAT I'M GONNA DO.
236
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,347
I'M GONNA GO CANCEL
THE RESERVATION,
237
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:01,083
AND WHILE I'M DOING IT,
I'M GONNA CALL DR. JOAN.
238
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,084
OH, WAIT!
239
00:09:02,108 --> 00:09:03,219
BEFORE YOU DO THAT...
240
00:09:03,243 --> 00:09:04,987
AW! NOW SHE'S GONNA CALL JOAN.
241
00:09:05,011 --> 00:09:06,823
I KNEW WE WEREN'T
GONNA GET OUT OF IT.
242
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,358
VERY NICE ADVICE
YOU WERE GIVING HER.
243
00:09:08,382 --> 00:09:09,826
IT WON'T DO HER ANY GOOD.
244
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:11,160
WHY IS THAT?
245
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:13,562
SHE'S BRINGING A NICE YOUNG
WOMAN HOME TO YOUR MOTHER?
246
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:15,019
HAH! SHE'S DEAD.
247
00:09:16,589 --> 00:09:18,501
YOU DON'T SEEM SO
MUCH BROKEN UP ABOUT IT.
248
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,503
NO, NO, NO. I'M VERY SAD.
249
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,771
HA HA HA HA.
250
00:09:21,795 --> 00:09:23,139
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
251
00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:24,674
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY,
252
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,043
BUT SINCE THE DAY I
JOINED YOUR FAMILY,
253
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,211
I'VE BEEN AT THE BOTTOM OF
YOUR MOTHER'S TOTEM POLE.
254
00:09:29,235 --> 00:09:31,280
I'M LOOKING FORWARD
TO MOVING UP A NOTCH.
255
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,449
DON'T GET ME WRONG.
IT'S TERRIBLE FOR JOAN.
256
00:09:33,473 --> 00:09:34,984
I FEEL REALLY BAD.
257
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,541
HA HA HA HA HA.
258
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:40,556
Jamie: WE'LL BE POLITE TO JOAN,
259
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,393
MAKE YOUR SISTER
HAPPY, AND BE DONE WITH IT.
260
00:09:43,417 --> 00:09:46,228
YES, IT'S OFFICIAL.
YOU'RE PREGNANT.
261
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:48,197
HEY. HEY.
262
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,933
I'M TELLIN' YA, THOSE STICKS ARE
GONNA PUT ME OUT OF BUSINESS.
263
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:53,670
FOUR WEEKS. YOU WERE
RIGHT, JUST LIKE YA SAID.
264
00:09:53,694 --> 00:09:56,305
GOOD HCG LEVELS.
EVERYTHING SEEMS NORMAL.
265
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:57,306
CONGRATULATIONS.
266
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,808
OK. WELL, THANK YOU.
267
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:00,776
SO, YOU TOLD DEBBIE
YOU HAD A LITTLE, UH...
268
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,277
WOMAN THING. VERY GOOD.
269
00:10:02,301 --> 00:10:04,380
THAT WAS BECAUSE, UH, YOU'RE
NOT READY TO TELL THE FAMILY YET?
270
00:10:04,404 --> 00:10:05,881
EXACTLY.
271
00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,549
I UNDERSTAND. I WAS
ADVISED BY PATIENTS
272
00:10:07,573 --> 00:10:09,852
TO LIE TO THOSE CLOSEST TO THEM,
JUST BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.
273
00:10:09,876 --> 00:10:12,321
SO I'M GONNA WRITE YOU A
PRESCRIPTION FOR PRENATAL VITAMINS,
274
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,724
AND, UH, YOU SHOULD MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT TO SEE ME IN ABOUT TWO WEEKS.
275
00:10:14,748 --> 00:10:15,958
UH, OK. OK.
276
00:10:15,982 --> 00:10:17,627
YOU'RE LYING RIGHT
NOW, AREN'T YOU?
277
00:10:17,651 --> 00:10:18,895
NO... NO, WE'RE NOT!
278
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:20,329
NO, WE'RE NOT.
279
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,664
YEAH, WE KINDA... WE
ARE, ACTUALLY, A LITTLE BIT.
280
00:10:21,688 --> 00:10:24,233
SURE. YOU'RE INTERVIEWING
A WHOLE BUNCH OF OB/GYNs,
281
00:10:24,257 --> 00:10:26,969
AND THE ONLY REASON I'M AMONG THEM
IS BECAUSE DEBBIE FOISTED ME ON YOU.
282
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:29,805
NO, NO, NO, NO. THAT'S
NOT IT. NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.
283
00:10:29,829 --> 00:10:32,241
KINDA... SHE DID. IT'S A
LITTLE BIT TRUE, I GUESS.
284
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,977
YOU'RE PROBABLY GOING
TO SEE DR. WONDERFUL.
285
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,711
NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO. NO, WE'RE NOT.
286
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,179
TOMORROW? TOMORROW, I THINK.
287
00:10:37,203 --> 00:10:38,615
OK. HERE.
288
00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:41,984
TAKE YOUR VITAMINS, GET PLENTY
OF REST, AND WORK ON THE LYING.
289
00:10:42,008 --> 00:10:44,186
AND IF YOU SHOULD CHOOSE TO
COME BACK, JUST CALL THE OFFICE.
290
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:46,255
IF NOT, I'LL SEE YA
AT THE LUNCHEON.
291
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:47,289
TAKE CARE!
292
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:48,324
THANK YOU! YOU, TOO.
293
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:49,325
WE'LL CALL YA!
294
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:50,927
NO, YOU WON'T!
295
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,951
NO, BUT I MEAN FOR
COFFEE OR SOMETHING.
296
00:10:54,855 --> 00:10:56,833
AW, THAT WAS GREAT.
297
00:10:56,857 --> 00:10:58,901
I MEAN, REALLY, REALLY GREAT.
298
00:10:58,925 --> 00:11:00,903
YEAH.
299
00:11:00,927 --> 00:11:02,538
LISTEN, LET ME ASK
YOU SOMETHING.
300
00:11:02,562 --> 00:11:03,639
YEAH?
301
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,930
WHO'S YOUR GYNECOLOGIST?
302
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,477
WHAT?
303
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:10,079
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT?
WE'RE GETTING CLOSER.
304
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,814
WE'VE... WE'VE
BECOME VERY INTIMATE,
305
00:11:11,838 --> 00:11:15,284
BUT I JUST WANT... I WANT TO KNOW
EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT YOU.
306
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:18,087
WHERE DID YOU GO TO
SCHOOL? WHERE ARE YOU FROM?
307
00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:21,123
WHO'S YOUR GYNECOLOGIST?
308
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,680
LIAR! OOF!
309
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,932
THIS DR. VONDERPHAL,
HE'S UNBELIEVABLE.
310
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:32,723
HONEY... GO LIKE THIS.
311
00:11:35,394 --> 00:11:39,141
THAT'S HOW BIG THE
BABY IS RIGHT NOW!
312
00:11:39,165 --> 00:11:41,565
OH, HE'S JUST GONNA
GET TEASED A LOT.
313
00:11:46,238 --> 00:11:47,215
WHO IS?
314
00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:49,151
IT'S DEBBIE AND JOAN!
315
00:11:49,175 --> 00:11:52,388
I AM JUST NEVER GONNA
GET TO FINISH THIS ARTICLE.
316
00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:56,159
REALLY? SO, WHAT,
317
00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:58,961
YOU CHANGE THE DIAPER WITH, LIKE,
A LITTLE TWEEZER OR SOMETHING?
318
00:11:58,985 --> 00:12:00,729
YOU HAVE A FISH KNIFE!
319
00:12:00,753 --> 00:12:02,365
WHY DO YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT?
320
00:12:02,389 --> 00:12:04,800
YOU HAVE A FISH KNIFE. I
KNOW YOU DO. DON'T LIE TO ME!
321
00:12:04,824 --> 00:12:06,301
I GAVE IT TO YOU!
322
00:12:06,325 --> 00:12:08,103
JUST ADMIT IT! UNLESS
YOU SOLD IT, YOU HAVE ONE!
323
00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:09,605
Joan: SHE'S VERY
NERVOUS ABOUT THE LUNCH.
324
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,808
OH, THEN BY ALL MEANS,
LET'S GIVE HER A SHARP KNIFE.
325
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,677
I AM NOT NERVOUS
ABOUT THE LUNCH.
326
00:12:14,701 --> 00:12:16,912
I'M SERVING TROUT,
WHICH IS A HUGE GAMBLE.
327
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,447
YOU KNOW, DELICIOUS?
328
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:20,883
YES, BUT MORE BONES THAN... THAN...
THAN... WHAT? WHAT HAS A LOTTA BONES?
329
00:12:20,907 --> 00:12:22,218
SKELETON! BIG SKELETON.
330
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:25,187
OK, OK. HERE WE GO.
EVERYBODY, TAKE IT EASY.
331
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:26,456
IT'S ALL GONNA BE FINE.
332
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:27,457
THANK YOU.
333
00:12:27,481 --> 00:12:28,457
YOU NEED ANYTHING ELSE?
334
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:29,492
NO.
335
00:12:29,516 --> 00:12:30,493
NO.
336
00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:31,560
NO.
337
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,061
WHAT ABOUT THE CASSEROLE DISH?
338
00:12:33,085 --> 00:12:34,062
CASSEROLE DISH!
339
00:12:34,086 --> 00:12:35,564
CASSEROLE DISH. CASSEROLE DISH.
340
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,600
HERE, HERE! HERE
YOU GO! HERE YOU GO.
341
00:12:37,624 --> 00:12:39,602
CASSEROLE... OK.
342
00:12:39,626 --> 00:12:40,903
ANYTHING ELSE?
343
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:42,104
NO.
344
00:12:42,128 --> 00:12:43,372
NO.
345
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:44,373
NO.
346
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,808
WHAT ABOUT THE GARLIC PRESS?
347
00:12:45,832 --> 00:12:46,976
GARLIC PRESS!
348
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,711
THERE YOU GO. WE GOT SEVERAL...
349
00:12:48,735 --> 00:12:50,112
HERE YOU GO. HERE, HERE, HERE.
350
00:12:50,136 --> 00:12:51,614
OH, YES. ALL RIGHT.
351
00:12:51,638 --> 00:12:52,782
ANYTHING ELSE?
352
00:12:52,806 --> 00:12:54,584
ANYTHING ELSE? A WHISK!
353
00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,288
A WHISK... WAIT!
354
00:13:00,714 --> 00:13:02,124
AND ABOUT A GALLON OF WINE.
355
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,693
YOU KNOW THEY'RE
NOT HEAVY DRINKERS.
356
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:05,595
IT'S FOR ME... NOW.
357
00:13:05,619 --> 00:13:06,862
SHE'S NERVOUS ABOUT THE LUNCH.
358
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:08,431
I'M NOT NERVOUS ABOUT THE LUNCH!
359
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:09,432
ALL RIGHT, I'M NERVOUS.
360
00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:11,234
I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M NERVOUS.
361
00:13:11,258 --> 00:13:12,235
MOM'S GONNA MEET JOAN.
362
00:13:12,259 --> 00:13:14,737
WELL, MAYBE THAT'S WHY.
363
00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:16,238
ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS.
WHAT SHOULD WE DRINK TO?
364
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:17,773
TO YOUR FAMILY.
365
00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,743
MY FAMILY...
DYSFUNCTIONAL, JUDGMENTAL,
366
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:23,345
INTOLERANT, OPPRESSIVE,
PETTY, AND SMALL.
367
00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:25,470
YES, BUT WE GET
EVERYTHING WHEN THEY DIE.
368
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:29,718
OH, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY, HONEY!
369
00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:31,254
OH, MY GOD.
370
00:13:31,278 --> 00:13:33,155
WHAT?
371
00:13:33,179 --> 00:13:35,925
ANTIBIOTICS! I PUT HER ON
ANTIBIOTICS FOR THE, UM...
372
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,059
FOR... THAT'S... WOMAN THING.
373
00:13:37,083 --> 00:13:38,060
RIGHT.
374
00:13:38,084 --> 00:13:39,595
AW, ISN'T THAT CUTE.
375
00:13:39,619 --> 00:13:40,696
WHAT?
376
00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:43,498
OH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU'RE THEIR DOCTOR.
377
00:13:43,522 --> 00:13:45,401
YOU'RE GIVING THEM
A LITTLE ANTIBIOTICS.
378
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,103
YOU'RE TAKING CARE
OF MY BROTHER'S WIFE.
379
00:13:47,127 --> 00:13:49,638
IT'S CUTE. I LIKE IT.
IT MAKES ME HAPPY.
380
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,408
YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? DEB,
ACTUALLY... WHAT? WE'RE ACTUALLY...
381
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:53,508
ACTUALLY, THEY'RE
STILL LOOKING AROUND.
382
00:13:53,532 --> 00:13:54,776
WHAT DO YOU MEAN,
YOU'RE LOOKING AROUND?
383
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,245
YOU GOT THE BEST DOCTOR
IN THE CITY RIGHT HERE.
384
00:13:56,269 --> 00:13:57,947
NO, NO. I DON'T... WE'RE
NOT LOOKING AROUND.
385
00:13:57,971 --> 00:13:59,314
WE'RE JUST... WE'RE
EXPLORING OUR OPTIONS.
386
00:13:59,338 --> 00:14:00,949
OH, WELL, SO LONG AS
YOU'RE NOT LOOKING AROUND.
387
00:14:00,973 --> 00:14:03,786
DEB... YA KNOW, THIS
IS HUGELY INSULTING.
388
00:14:03,810 --> 00:14:05,554
DEBBIE, IT IS NOT INSULTING.
389
00:14:05,578 --> 00:14:07,023
I'M SORRY, BUT IT IS.
390
00:14:07,047 --> 00:14:09,625
YOU'RE SAYING THAT YOU DON'T
TRUST MY JUDGMENT IN PEOPLE
391
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:11,460
AND THAT YOU DON'T THINK JOAN IS
A GOOD ENOUGH DOCTOR FOR YOU.
392
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:12,561
Joan: THAT'S NOT
WHAT THEY'RE SAYING!
393
00:14:12,585 --> 00:14:13,962
THAT IS EXACTLY
WHAT THEY'RE SAYING!
394
00:14:13,986 --> 00:14:15,452
CAN I HAVE THE KNIFE, PLEASE?
395
00:14:16,823 --> 00:14:19,635
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
396
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,139
SHE'S NERVOUS ABOUT THE LUNCH.
397
00:14:27,934 --> 00:14:32,380
John Sebastian sings: ♪ DID YOU
EVER HAVE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND? ♪
398
00:14:32,404 --> 00:14:35,784
♪ AND PICK UP ON ONE AND
LEAVE THE OTHER BEHIND ♪
399
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:39,454
♪ IT'S NOT OFTEN EASY
AND NOT OFTEN KIND ♪
400
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:43,291
♪ DID YOU EVER HAVE
TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND? ♪
401
00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:46,161
♪ DID YOU EVER HAVE
TO FINALLY DECIDE... ♪
402
00:14:46,185 --> 00:14:48,431
Jamie: LOOK AT THIS
PLACE. IT'S LIKE A MUSEUM.
403
00:14:48,455 --> 00:14:50,966
OK. CAN I SAY ONE
THING? PICASSO!
404
00:14:50,990 --> 00:14:52,434
WOW.
405
00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:56,394
IT'S A WOMAN GIVING
BIRTH TO HER OWN FACE.
406
00:14:58,164 --> 00:15:01,510
THIS IS THE FANCIEST ROOM I'VE
EVER BEEN IN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE.
407
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,945
OK. SEE? NOW I
WANT TO BE A WOMAN.
408
00:15:02,969 --> 00:15:04,180
ALL RIGHT. SIT DOWN.
409
00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:05,948
HE'S GONNA COME IN
IN A MINUTE. SIT DOWN.
410
00:15:05,972 --> 00:15:07,304
I'M SITTING. I'M SITTING.
411
00:15:08,775 --> 00:15:10,285
WHAT'S WRONG WITH
YOUR HAIR? WHAT?
412
00:15:10,309 --> 00:15:11,286
IT LOOKS WEIRD.
413
00:15:11,310 --> 00:15:12,287
IT'S NOT.
414
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:13,288
IT'S POINTY. LEAVE IT ALONE.
415
00:15:13,312 --> 00:15:14,289
LEAVE IT ALONE.
WHY IS IT POINTY?
416
00:15:14,313 --> 00:15:15,290
GO LIKE THIS.
417
00:15:15,314 --> 00:15:16,425
IT'S FINE.
418
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:19,295
PAT IT DOWN IN THE BACK.
PAT, PAT, PAT, PAT, PAT.
419
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:20,863
HELLO. HI.
420
00:15:20,887 --> 00:15:22,798
YOU MUST BE PAUL AND JAMIE.
421
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:24,433
YOU MUST BE DR. VONDERPHAL.
422
00:15:24,457 --> 00:15:26,869
IS IT VONDERPHAL
OR VON-DER-PHAL?
423
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:30,361
'CAUSE I GOTTA TELL YA,
EITHER WAY, IT'S QUITE... WHAT?
424
00:15:37,736 --> 00:15:40,149
Ira: YEAH. TWO OF THE GLAZED.
425
00:15:40,173 --> 00:15:41,717
PLEASE.
426
00:15:41,741 --> 00:15:43,319
AND ANYTHING ELSE?
427
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,687
YEAH, YEAH. ONE OF THE TWISTS.
428
00:15:45,711 --> 00:15:48,524
AND ANYTHING ELSE?
429
00:15:48,548 --> 00:15:51,994
UH... YEAH, AS A MATTER OF FACT.
430
00:15:52,018 --> 00:15:55,486
UM... WHO'S YOUR GYNECOLOGIST?
431
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:04,840
Debbie: WHO IS IT?
432
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:06,342
IT'S BURT AND SYLVIA.
433
00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,843
BURT AND SYLVIA BUCHMAN.
434
00:16:07,867 --> 00:16:08,844
YOUR PARENTS.
435
00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:09,845
SHE KNOWS!
436
00:16:09,869 --> 00:16:10,946
HI!
437
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:14,650
WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?
WE'RE NOT THAT OLD.
438
00:16:14,674 --> 00:16:18,253
WOW. HAVE YOU CHANGED
THIS PLACE SINCE I WAS HERE.
439
00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:22,625
GOT A NEW SOFA, NEW
LAMP, NEW CLUB CHAIR.
440
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,727
WHERE IS SHE?
441
00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:26,795
HI, EVERYONE.
442
00:16:26,819 --> 00:16:28,230
MY LORD.
443
00:16:28,254 --> 00:16:30,454
YOU ARE A STRAPPING YOUNG WOMAN.
444
00:16:32,959 --> 00:16:34,203
HELLO.
445
00:16:34,227 --> 00:16:35,704
HI. I'M JOAN.
446
00:16:35,728 --> 00:16:38,496
I'M DEBBIE'S MOTHER,
SYLVIA BUCHMAN.
447
00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:42,578
AND I'M BURT.
BURT BUCHMAN... I...
448
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:45,547
UH, SYLVIA'S HUSBAND
AND ALSO, DEBBIE'S FATHER.
449
00:16:45,571 --> 00:16:47,271
CAN YOU IMAGINE?
450
00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:50,686
HERE. LET ME TAKE YOUR
COAT, MRS. BUCHMAN.
451
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:52,454
SYLVIA, PLEASE. SYLVIA.
452
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:53,488
THANK YOU.
453
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:54,657
AND MR. BUCHMAN?
454
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:55,825
YOU WANT MY COAT?
455
00:16:55,849 --> 00:16:57,293
I DO.
456
00:16:57,317 --> 00:16:58,816
HEY, HOW ABOUT THIS?
457
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,633
YOU KNOW, I'LL MISS THE
BOTTOM OF THE TOTEM POLE.
458
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:05,634
REALLY?
459
00:17:05,658 --> 00:17:06,902
NO, NOT REALLY.
460
00:17:11,297 --> 00:17:13,309
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?
461
00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:16,678
AND THE CAMP CALLED
AND SAID, "I'M SORRY,
462
00:17:16,702 --> 00:17:19,370
BUT YOUR DAUGHTER CAN
NO LONGER TAKE ARCHERY"!
463
00:17:27,980 --> 00:17:30,292
Sylvia: DEBBIE,
SHE'S DELIGHTFUL.
464
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:36,032
I DON'T WANNA GO IN.
465
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:38,801
WELL, ARE YOU GONNA COME IN, OR ARE
YOU GOING TO EXPLORE YOUR OPTIONS?
466
00:17:38,825 --> 00:17:41,137
WE BROUGHT CAKE.
467
00:17:41,161 --> 00:17:42,605
PUT IT OVER THERE.
468
00:17:42,629 --> 00:17:44,373
LISTEN, WHAT'S THE
MATTER? Jamie: IT'S NOTHING.
469
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:45,774
IT'S NOT NOTHING.
IT'S SOMETHING.
470
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,108
OK. DO WE HAVE TO
DISCUSS THIS RIGHT NOW?
471
00:17:47,132 --> 00:17:48,978
NO, WE DON'T HAVE TO
DISCUSS THIS NOW. LET'S EAT.
472
00:17:49,002 --> 00:17:50,479
GOOD! I'M STARVING.
473
00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:51,980
Sylvia: ME, TOO.
474
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:55,183
OH! LOOK AT THOSE
BEAUTIFUL DISHES!
475
00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:56,952
WHERE DID YOU GET THEM?
476
00:17:56,976 --> 00:17:58,320
THE CRAFTS FAIR.
477
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:00,822
OH, I LOVE IT THERE. WE
GO THERE. REMEMBER, BURT?
478
00:18:00,846 --> 00:18:02,458
NO.
479
00:18:02,482 --> 00:18:04,426
IS THIS THAT SOY CHEESE?
480
00:18:04,450 --> 00:18:05,427
YES.
481
00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,229
BURT, THIS IS THAT SOY CHEESE.
482
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:08,264
GREAT!
483
00:18:08,288 --> 00:18:10,966
I HEARD ABOUT THIS.
WHERE DID YOU GET IT?
484
00:18:10,990 --> 00:18:12,634
OH, A LITTLE PLACE UPTOWN.
485
00:18:12,658 --> 00:18:15,704
I STOPPED IN RIGHT AFTER JAMIE SAID THEY
WERE LOOKING FOR A NEW GYNECOLOGIST,
486
00:18:15,728 --> 00:18:16,739
AND IT WOULDN'T BE JOAN.
487
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:17,739
WHAT?
488
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,508
IT'S NOTHING. IT'S NOTHING.
489
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:20,943
WHAT IS THIS, ASPIC?
490
00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:24,279
UH-HUH. I GOT THAT RIGHT AFTER
PAUL SAID JOAN WOULDN'T DO,
491
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:25,881
THAT THEY NEEDED TO SHOP AROUND.
492
00:18:25,905 --> 00:18:27,516
DEB... SYLVIA, YOU
CAN UNDERSTAND...
493
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:28,851
UNDERSTAND WHAT?
494
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:29,851
MY POSITION. IT'S VERY...
495
00:18:29,875 --> 00:18:32,487
NO, NO, NO, I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
496
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:35,913
JOAN IS YOUR
SISTER-IN-LAW... ESSENTIALLY.
497
00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:38,761
REALLY?
498
00:18:38,785 --> 00:18:40,195
NOT ONLY THAT, BUT, IF I MAY,
499
00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:41,529
SHE'S A LESBIAN.
500
00:18:41,553 --> 00:18:43,913
SHE KNOWS ABOUT
THESE THINGS, RIGHT?
501
00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,535
UH... YES.
502
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:48,837
THANK YOU.
503
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:53,075
Sylvia: YOU KNOW WHAT? I
NEVER EVEN THOUGHT OF THAT.
504
00:18:53,099 --> 00:18:54,076
SEE?
505
00:18:54,100 --> 00:18:56,846
YOU GOT SOME KIND
OF PROBLEM WITH JOAN?
506
00:18:56,870 --> 00:18:58,413
NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO.
507
00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:01,082
YOU KNOW, YOU WOULD EXPECT
A LITTLE MORE OPEN-MINDEDNESS
508
00:19:01,106 --> 00:19:02,718
FROM THE LIBERALS.
509
00:19:02,742 --> 00:19:05,721
SYLVIA, LET ME
JUST SAY ONE THING.
510
00:19:05,745 --> 00:19:08,057
WHAT, NOW SHE'S A
MEMBER OF A MILITIA GROUP?
511
00:19:08,081 --> 00:19:09,825
NO, ONLY IF NEW YORK MAGAZINE
512
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:11,426
SAYS IT'S THE BEST MILITIA GROUP
513
00:19:11,450 --> 00:19:14,785
WITH THE NICEST BOMBS AND
THE MOST FASHIONABLE UNIFORMS.
514
00:19:15,989 --> 00:19:19,935
OK. LOOK, PAUL AND JAMIE
ARE CHOOSING A DOCTOR,
515
00:19:19,959 --> 00:19:22,671
WHICH IS A VERY
PERSONAL, PRIVATE MATTER.
516
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:25,441
IT'S A DECISION WHICH COULD
AFFECT THE REST OF THEIR LIVES,
517
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:28,877
AND THAT IS WHY NO ONE, EVEN
WITH THE BEST OF INTENTIONS,
518
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:32,247
SHOULD EVER DARE TO
PUT ANY PRESSURE ON THEM.
519
00:19:32,271 --> 00:19:36,907
MY BEST PROFESSIONAL
ADVICE IS: EVERYBODY, BACK OFF.
520
00:19:40,947 --> 00:19:42,758
Sylvia: YOU KNOW WHAT?
521
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,548
SHE'S RIGHT.
522
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:49,398
REALLY?
523
00:19:49,422 --> 00:19:52,168
YOU KNOW, SHE'S
QUITE THE ORATOR.
524
00:19:52,192 --> 00:19:55,905
SHE CERTAINLY IS...
BOTTOM OF THE TOTEM POLE.
525
00:19:55,929 --> 00:19:57,328
OH, YEAH.
526
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:13,722
CONSUELA...
527
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:15,290
LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.
528
00:20:16,316 --> 00:20:17,316
Ira: OOH!
529
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,567
SOMEONE'S GOING TO HAVE TO MARRY A
BANK-ROBBING, PUPPY-KICKING SERIAL KILLER
530
00:20:25,591 --> 00:20:29,070
BEFORE I STAND ANY CHANCE OF
GETTING IN GOOD WITH YOUR MOTHER.
531
00:20:29,094 --> 00:20:31,072
OH, JUST HANG IN THERE.
532
00:20:31,096 --> 00:20:32,941
LISTEN, THE MINUTE
MY MOTHER FINDS OUT
533
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,877
THAT YOU ARE CARRYING
HER GENETIC MATERIAL,
534
00:20:34,901 --> 00:20:38,981
WHOOSH, YOU'RE GONNA FLY RIGHT
TO THE TOP OF HER TOTEM POLE.
535
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,104
OR NOT.
536
00:20:43,742 --> 00:20:46,288
Answering machine: HI. THIS IS CLAUDIA
FROM DR. VONDERPHAL'S OFFICE.
537
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:50,092
CONGRATULATIONS. DR. VONDERPHAL
WILL BE ABLE TO TAKE YOU ON AS A PATIENT.
538
00:20:50,116 --> 00:20:52,160
PLEASE CALL TO
ARRANGE AN APPOINTMENT.
539
00:20:55,121 --> 00:20:56,565
HUH.
540
00:20:56,589 --> 00:20:58,334
CAN I TELL YOU
WHAT I'M THINKING?
541
00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,334
JOAN? JOAN!
542
00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:00,869
YEAH, I MEAN...
543
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:02,371
SHE'S NICE! SHE'S REALLY NICE.
544
00:21:02,395 --> 00:21:03,706
AND SHE'S COMPETENT.
SHE'S COMPETENT.
545
00:21:03,730 --> 00:21:05,040
SHE'S SMART. SHE'S
COMPETENT. SHE'S KIND.
546
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:06,575
REALLY KIND. VERY KIND.
547
00:21:06,599 --> 00:21:07,743
LIKE SHE WOULDN'T
HURT A FLY KINDA KIND.
548
00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,179
AND SEE WHY YOUR
SISTER LOVES HER.
549
00:21:10,203 --> 00:21:11,680
SO JOAN.
550
00:21:11,704 --> 00:21:12,714
JOAN. YEAH.
551
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:14,149
ALL RIGHT. THERE IT IS.
552
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:17,052
HEY, WE GOT YOU A DOCTOR.
553
00:21:17,076 --> 00:21:19,287
THAT'S OUR VERY FIRST
PARENTAL DECISION.
554
00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,889
LOOK AT THAT.
555
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,859
UM... LITTLE PERSON...
556
00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:28,697
YOUR MOTHER AND I HAVE
DECIDED TO GO WITH JOAN.
557
00:21:33,059 --> 00:21:34,937
OK. THAT'S THE SECOND
TIME THAT HAPPENED NOW.
558
00:21:36,362 --> 00:21:38,741
IT'S SOME SORT OF, LIKE,
FREAKISH THING GOING ON THERE.
559
00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:40,445
I'M A LITTLE UNCOMFORTABLE.
560
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:42,878
I'LL TELL YA THIS.
561
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,782
IT IS NOT INFORMATION THAT
WOMEN PART WITH EASILY.
562
00:21:51,744 --> 00:21:52,721
WHAT?
563
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:55,223
THE BEST GYNECOLOGIST
IN NEW YORK
564
00:21:55,247 --> 00:21:58,060
IS APPARENTLY THIS
GUY, DR. VONDERPHAL.
565
00:21:58,084 --> 00:21:59,227
OH, YEAH, WE KNOW.
566
00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:00,562
YEAH, BUT WE DECIDED
WE'RE GONNA GO WITH JOAN.
567
00:22:00,586 --> 00:22:01,651
THANKS, THOUGH.
568
00:22:12,698 --> 00:22:14,776
HELLO, DEBBIE. YEAH,
THIS IS YOUR MOTHER.
569
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,779
I JUST WANTED TO TELL
YOU THAT YOUR FATHER AND I
570
00:22:17,803 --> 00:22:19,147
THOUGHT THAT JOAN WAS WONDERFUL.
571
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:20,282
STRAPPING. YES.
572
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:21,783
TELL HER STRAPPING.
573
00:22:21,807 --> 00:22:25,120
YEAH, SHE WAS WONDERFUL,
AND SHE WAS CHARMING.
574
00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:26,788
TELL HER STRAPPING.
SHE'S STRAPPING.
575
00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:28,457
I HEARD YOU ALREADY.
576
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,024
BUT YOU'RE NOT SAYING IT.
577
00:22:30,048 --> 00:22:31,126
ALL RIGHT! SO YOU SAY IT.
578
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:33,161
OH, HELLO, DEBBIE.
579
00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:37,132
YEAH. JOAN IS CHARMING
AND WONDERFUL.
580
00:22:37,156 --> 00:22:38,133
AND STRAPPING.
581
00:22:38,157 --> 00:22:40,157
SHE'S A VERY STRAPPING
YOUNG WOMAN.
41357
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