All language subtitles for Kirby.Buckets.S02E09_English

(Kirby) Look eggnog, snow,
and Santa are nice,

but let's be honest.
Christmas is all about the presents.

Sometimes, you get
exactly what you want.

(whisper) Yes! Perfect!

My brand new electronic
volumizing hair brush.

-I'm gonna look so good.
-(grinding sound)

(screams)

(Kirby) But you have to be
careful what you wish for.

Get it off! Get it off!
Get it off!

(Kirby)
Because you just might get it.

They couldn't wait
three more days.

(chuckles)

(theme music playing)

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Hey ♪

I'm telling you, Kirby,

Santa is definitely a vampire.

How else do you explain
that he only travels at night?

Plus, I have it
on good authority

that vampires love
milk and cookies.

Eli, do you
really believe that?

Well, now that you say it
like that, I don't.

Hey, what's going on
with you, man?

You've been in a
bad mood all week.

I'm sorry, it's just... it's really tough
being an artist around Christmas.

Everybody expects me
to make them things.

I mean, I gotta make cards
for all my relatives,

the decorations for
Mister Krause's room,

-ornaments for Gil's tree,
-(Animations) Hey! Me!

Then my parents want me to make
them homemade wrapping paper

'cause they don't think store bought
is jolly enough.

I don't know how I'm gonna
get all of it done.

Mister Buckets, you pulled a
bait and switch on me.

You baited me with the promise
of an elf that could make discipline cool,

and then you switched it
with this garbage elf.

It's not... that bad.

Fix it.

Oh, and Merry Christmas.

Fa-la-la.

(electric guitar rock riff)

Great. Just what I needed,
more work.

Wait.

You're coming to my
holiday party tonight, right?

I'm gonna try.

Fish went all out on this thing.

Yeah. It's gonna have everything.

12 drummers drumming,
11 pipers piping, ten...

Lords a-leaping. I get it.

No! Ten different types of eggnog.

What kind of party has
lords a-leaping.

(Belinda) "Celebrate the holiday
by bringing your Dawnation."

Like donation.
Get it?

"All gifts will go
to the less fortunate."

Aw, Dawn, it's so nice of you
to give back like this.

You're really embracing
the true meaning of christmas.

Belinda, the true meaning
of christmas

is to get as many gifts
as you possibly can.

I'm keeping everything.

But, I thought you said,
"it was going to the less fortunate."

I am less fortunate
than a lot of people

like Beyonce, for example.

Dawn, as your best friend,
I feel it's my responsibility to...

are those matching outfits?

They sure are.

Objection withdrawn.

(French horn plays poorly)

Mom.

Mom.

Mom!

Oh, sorry.

Couldn't hear you over
the holiday magic

wafting from this French horn.

How about we, uh, skip all the cards
this year. Save some paper.

I mean, christmas is hard enough
on trees as it is.

No, I'm sorry.

Do you know what everyone's
favorite holiday tradition is?

Yeah. Watching Dawn
get infuriated by tinsel.

(grunts)
(yells)

Stupid tinsel!

Yeah, sure.

But everyone's second favorite
holiday tradition

is your christmas cards.

They really do mean a lot
to the whole family, Kirb.

Guess who just got back
from a trip down memory lane.

I did.

Courtesy of one of
Kirby's old cards.

(Dad)
"Stashing through the snow."

I love that one.

That's good, right?

You know, I was actually
thinking of growing a mustache

before I got this
little doozie of a wake-up call.

Hey, baby bro.

So, I'm putting together this
little Christmas charity event,

and it would be so great
if you could make some signs.

Could you do that?

Seriously?

It's for the less fortunate.

It's for the less fortunate, Kirb.

Kirb, it's for the less fortunate.

(sigh)

Bawk! Hey.

When you're done with that...
bawk!

Remember you promised you'd
draw me a real leg for Christmas.

Turns out, this one's
just a drum stick.

Is that so?

Bawk!

The chicken speaks the truth.

This horn has tormented us
long enough.

We'll tell her it was stolen.

Do me a favor.

Say you got a look at the guy,
and draw a picture of him. Great.

Thank you.

(phone beeps)

(Kirby)
You are missing a great party.

Man, I wish I never learned
how to draw. (echo)

Ehh.

Dawn? What did you do to my room?

Whoa!

Huh?

Horn to be wild?

Finally! You're up!

Do you know how long it's been
since we hung out?

Answer: too long.

Okay, Dawn, where's all my stuff?
Where's my art?

By art, do you mean heart?

Because I'm pretty sure you know
half your heart belongs to me, bestie.

Get it off!

Sibling, you just threw our
"sib bling!" We have fun.

All right, but hurry up and get ready,
so we can hang out before school.

Mmm. You hear that
bacon sizzling?

That is the sound of
mother nature's drum roll

getting you ready to show
that little Maggie Stern

that there is only one
French hornist in Forest Hills,

and his name is Kirby Buckets.

What? Ka-pow!

What are you talking about?

And since when do you say "ka-pow?"

I hope you're acting strange because you
were up all night studying sheet music.

Okay. I'm gonna go back up
to my room and keep drawing.

-(Dad) Drawing?
-Dad?

You've never drawn anything
in your life.

What are you talking about?
I draw cartoon characters all the time.

Ehh.

What's going on?

See? What did I tell ya?

The only thing we draw in this house,
is attention to my mustache.

(screams)

Oh, no.

I can't draw!

No, this can't be happening.
This can't be happening!

It's no use, Kirby.

What's going on?
Why are all of you guys ghosts?

Because your wish came true.

You never learned to draw,
and that includes us.

Instead, you put all your
creative energy

into the french horn.

Or as the french call it,
"le poo-poo."

Uh, wait.
Do ghosts feel pain?

No!

What's the point of being the world's
greatest stunt chicken now?

(Dad)
Who you talking to, Kirb?

Oh, you know. The walls.

Are you okay?

If not, do me a favor and channel it
into that French horn. (tongue click)

what are you talking about? I don't even
know how to play the French horn. See?

(plays "Deck The Halls")

-(Mom) (laughs)
-(Dad) Nice.

Now that is what
concert-ready sounds like.

Speaking of concert-ready,
I gotta hit the mustache spa.

Keep this baby looking tight
for Kirby's big night.

And that's when I learned
that Christmas trees

are really government listening devices.

You know, this combo of sweat pants
and overalls is perfect.

Comfort, function, and zero effort.

And really...

Also super absorbent.

(laughs)

You've gotta be kidding me.

Without you to challenge
and inspire them,

Eli believes every
crazy thing he reads online.

And Fish? Well, Fish just
never learned to care.

Or do laundry, apparently.

Well, friends or not,
I'm gonna need some help.

Hey, Fish, Eli.
It's me, Kirby.

Kirby Buckets.

Ha! Yeah, like that's a real name.

Who sent you? C.I.A.? F.B.I.?

(loudly) Lunch lady Helen?

(blows raspberry)

I'm on to ya, Helen!

Boys, boys, boys! Please!

You know how I feel about yelling.

It upsets my stomach.

(Eli and Fish)
Sorry, Principle Jenkins.

Principle Jenkins?

The road to trouble
starts with trouble, boys.

(Jenkins) You don't want to end up
at the troubled school.

I'm scared of going there,
and I'm a full grown man.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm gonna go to my office,
and watch cartoons.

Whoa, that's the maddest
I've ever seen him.

What do you want?

I'm in a pretty big jam,

and I think you two are the only ones
who can help me.

(burp)

well, I'm awake now, so whatever.

Okay, "Kirby," we'll help you.

First...

We need to know we can trust you.

Donations, donations,
donations, please!

Put a smile on your face

by putting one on the face
of someone less fortunate.

It's pointless, you know.

No one's gonna give to your
lousy little charity

because deep down,
people are cowards

with rotting little
maggot hearts.

When will children learn that
Santa will never understand them?

No one will understand them.

Wait a minute.

Why should I rely on people
to give back

when I have more than enough
possessions of my own?

I should just give all of my stuff
to the less fortunate.

I can't believe I've been so selfish.

(crying) I'm sorry, guys!

I'm gonna do better!

I, Kirby Buckets, hereby
denounce the puppet government

and the alien overlords
who pull their strings.

I agree that the government conspired
to fake the moon landing,

prevent cats from speaking,

and hide the fact that
Abraham Lincoln was a robot.

And?

And Fish should be allowed
to sleep in his sweat-veralls.

Okay, we can trust you.
How can we help?

I made a really stupid wish
that I never heard how to draw,

and I need to find a way
to undo that wish.

Look, you wanna know
how to undo a wish?

It's easy, because wishes aren't real!

If they were, these sweat-veralls would
have one of those flaps in the back

so you could go to the bathroom.

No, Fish. Wishes are real.

And lucky for you, I've read a lot of
online literature about how to undo them.

'Scuse me. Nope, sorry.

Which one's the wish bone?

Woop.

I'm still onto you, helen!

I'm telling you.
It's wish upon a scar.

Pass.

You wanna bite off
my lucky fingernail?

Pass.

Hard pass.

(grunt)

I really thought
it would work this time!

Well, we tried everything.

Nothing worked.

Maybe I'm just
stuck here forever.

On the plus side, though,
these smoothies are delicious.

That's what the government
wants me to think.

I can't believe we've
never come here before.

It kinda makes me wanna start
going out and doing things again.

(joints crack)

Nah.

Seriously?

You were good at drawing?

Too good, actually.

Everybody wanted me to
draw stuff for them.

I just got so busy
with work for other people

that it just stopped being fun.

Well, that's your problem.

Gil, what happened to you?

I fell...

In love with this wheelchair
I found on the side of the road.

Anyway, if you made that wish
because drawing stopped being fun,

then to reverse it, you need to
have fun drawing again.

I've been behind the snacks
listening this whole time.

Of course!
Why didn't I think of that?

It's wish reversal 101.

(Dangerbird) He's right!

Now hurry up and find the fun,

so I can feel the pain again.

Ah! (cries) oh!

Bees! They're doing nothing!

(laughs)

All right. Then looks like
I have to find the fun in drawing.

Kirby "Horn to be Wild" Buckets.

I can't believe you didn't show up
for the holiday concert.

Maggie Stern was delightful.

Where were you to knock that
little priss off her pedestal?

I went to the mustache spa, Kirby.

I sprang for the
commodore package.

Totally worth it,
I know, but still!

Sorry. I guess I just, kinda forgot.

This is the last straw, Kirb.

We can't ignore the signs any longer.

The... the crazy drawings.
The messed up hair.

Talking to walls, not hanging out
with your best friend, Dawn.

Acting like you don't
play the French horn like a boss.

There's only one explanation.

You are troubled.

And you've left us
with no choice.

No choice but to do what?

We've enrolled you

in Headmaster Mitchell's
school for troubled boys.

Hello, boy I've never met.

I'm Headmaster Mitchell,

and these are
two of my troubled boys.

Say hello, troubled boys.

See?

They know better than to open
their troubled little mouths.

-But...
-And soon...

You will, too.

You've made
the right choice.

Headmaster Mitchell's
school for troubled boys

is a no-funny business
institution.

We also have a zero-tolerance
policy on horseplay,

shenanigans, hijinks,
and the wearing of baggy pants.

Kirby should be finished packing
any minute now.

I saw that. Put it back.

You're so troubled.

Okay, just have fun with this.

Have fun with this very quickly.

Oh, look. I'm-a drawin' (laughs)

why'd I think that'd be fun.

Draw me, Kirby.

What could be more fun
than drawing three butts?

It's like a roller coaster
for your pen.

(Tri-butt) Nope. Nope.
Just a little bit back.

Eh-eh. Eh-eh.
Oh, boy. Uh.

I was wrong.
You've turned me into a monster!

Oooh.

(groans)

What's the point?

This is never gonna wor...

Wait a minute.

Turned into a monster.

(smash)

What are you guys doing here?

We're breaking you out.

We know Mitchell's here
to take you away.

Stand back.

(grunts)

Whoa. (sniffs)

Ugh, this rope smells awful.

It's made from my old sweat-veralls.

I'm putting an effort
into my appearance now.

I also trimmed my lucky fingernail.

Again, good to know.

Now, this is what christmas
is all about.

I just consider myself
so blessed

that I've been given so much
to bestow upon the less fortunate,

and if everything goes well,
I'll head home owning nothing at all.

Charity's a sick joke.

You give, someone takes,

but none of it matters.
It's like...

Trying to empty a bottomless pit
to fill another.

You know what you need?

This adorable stuffed rabbit with a
monocle and top hat. What do you think?

It's cute.

Fine.

The first time I ever really
had fun drawing was Christmas.

Nine years ago,

Dawn got so made that one of my presents
was slightly larger than hers that

in my head,
she just turned into a monster.

I drew what I imagined,
and it was pretty great.

But school's over.
Why are we here?

Because in order to have fun drawing,
I need to be inspired.

And that means...

It's time to unleash the beast.

(chuckles)

Oh, you don't have
a cell phone?

Well, take mine.

And I think I have
some change, too.

Change is an illusion.

K-dawg!

Where have you...

You're right. I should have
complimented you on your shoes today.

I'm sorry, and they're very nice.

Kirby told us you smell.

I do. Like sandalwood.

He gave me a perfume last week
just because.

But don't worry. I gave it away
to the less fortunate.

Smelling good, dave!

This isn't working.
She's too nice.

We have to enact
alpha contingency protocol.

(yells)

(shrieks)

This snow globe
was my favorite thing ever.

Thank you, Kirby.

For teaching me to... let it go.

What a great lesson.

No, no, no. No, get angry.
Get...

(Mitchell) Well...

There's my
little trouble maker.

Come on, Kirby. It's time to go.

What? No. Whoa...

Wait, what's going on?

Kirby has some issues
he needs to deal with,

so we're sending him some place
that can help him.

But you can't do that.
Kirby is my best friend.

My everything.

I'm sorry.
He left us no choice.

Let. Go. Of. My. Brother!

(Dawn) (shrieks)

Bingo.

(shrieks) He's my brother!
He's my brother!

(shrieks) (roars)

(shrieks and roars)

Whoa.

(shrieks and roars)

He's my brother! (roars)

Now this, is trouble.

(Dawn) (shrieks)

That's a terrible drawing,
but you kinda nailed her.

-(laughs)
-(shrieks and roars)

Ooh, ah, what happened?

Looks like you got hit in the head
with a French horn.

The thief who stole it must have
broken back in and put it up there.

It's a christmas miracle!

Oh, Dawn! Oh, you're the best! We did it!
We did it! Thank you! Thank you!

Ew, gross! Get off me!

Kirby, are you okay?

Yeah. I'm great.

Only one way to know
for sure.

(grunts)

Yep. It's me.

-Bawk bawk bawk bawk.
-Yiah!

(shrieks)

(theme music plays)

-♪ Hey ♪
-(all) Whoa!

♪ Hey ♪

(Mom) Were you speaking to him
or yourself?

I was speaking to that edge
of the couch,

which is who I address
when I'm speaking to him.

(laughing)

Fair question. Fair question.