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(inhales, exhales)
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(typing, sends text)
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(ice clinking)
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(car door shuts)
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(knocking)
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(door opens, footsteps approach)
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Okay, where is she?
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(light piano playing)
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♪ ♪
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I went into her room this morning, and everything is gone.
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Normally, it's just a few things so I won't notice,
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but now, she doesn't even care.
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Bags, shoes, clothes, all of it. Gone.
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I know she must've said something to you about her plan.
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No, you can't tell me that, can you?
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I send you emails, I call.
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-You don't tell me a damn thing. -Rhonda.
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Laila's 18. She has a right to privacy.
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But I understand you being worried about her.
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Worried? Hardly.
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Same story, different year.
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And, bless her heart, Laila always thinks
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this'll be the time it sticks.
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She's crazy if she thinks I won't find her again.
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It's only a matter of time.
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Is this the same view from the overlook?
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It's a mile west, as the crow flies.
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I've been checking her Uber account.
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She's been dropped off there almost every day this week.
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Last night even.
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-Laila tell you what she did with her car? -Yes.
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-She donated it. -Donated it?
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How's she gonna do that without the title in her name?
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That girl left the keys in it
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over on Leimert Boulevard and just walked away.
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(phone buzzing)
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Did you see Laila when she came home
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from the overlook last night?
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Does it matter when she left?
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Gone is gone.
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Please, Brooke. Help me find her.
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-Tell me what you know. -Rhonda.
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Have you ever considered letting Laila go?
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-Are you out of your mind? -I mean she's smart, capable.
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She's an adult.
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I pay you an ungodly amount of money
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to help my granddaughter,
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and this is what I get in return?
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-The suggestion that I just give up on her? -Not give up on her.
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Give in to her.
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This is clearly what she wants.
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Maybe you should indulge her, and I'm not talking about
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indulging her with the latest bag
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or phone.
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I'm talking about her heart.
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You know, I can tell you've never been a mother.
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Because if you were,
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you would know that "a child left to himself
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bringeth his mother to shame."
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Well, would you mind indulging me for a moment?
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I'd like to try a thought experiment,
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if you're open to it.
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-(phone buzzing) -Fine. What is it?
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What's the worst that could happen
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if you don't go after Laila?
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Walk me through your predictions, whatever you imagine.
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Well, she wouldn't go to college.
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What happens if she doesn't go?
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Look at me. Divorced three times.
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Cocktail waitressing at the Flamingo at 50.
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(laughs) I don't wish any of that on Laila.
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-I want her to have options. -So,
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-college is about giving Laila choices in her life? -Absolutely!
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Yet, it's the only choice you'll allow her to make.
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When my son called and said Desiree had left,
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and he and Laila needed me, I was on the next flight.
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I traded Vegas for a futon in Anaheim.
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No job, no friends, no boyfriend.
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Just a-a dirty toddler and a sore back.
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Jamal was nowhere around.
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Wrecked over his marriage, working himself to the bone.
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You know, I had already raised up my boy.
83
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I had made those mistakes,
84
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and I was determined to do it better.
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Laila's so smart.
86
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Her brain, my goodness.
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And the mouth on her.
88
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Mm, makes you wanna just...
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You know.
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But she deserves everything I never had.
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My father felt the same way.
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That's right. I'm sure he did.
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We all know the best defense against this world,
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in this skin, is excellence.
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It makes us impossible to deny.
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-Look at you now. -I don't agree with that philosophy, Rhonda.
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-You don't? -Sitting in this chair,
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I often witness the mental burden of the idea
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that just by virtue of being Black,
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we are obligated to excel.
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That our excellence is the basis upon which
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our humanity is seen and respected.
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That's right, it shouldn't be.
104
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But I live in the real world.
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And that's just the thing, Rhonda.
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That's not reality
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to believe that some abstract
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definition of excellence,
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defined by whiteness, no less,
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is the key to our freedom?
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That is a fantasy.
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And what makes Laila
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very much her grandmother's granddaughter.
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-In what way? -Well, you both seem to concoct
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these grand ideas of
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how things should go, and if what is
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doesn't match up with what should be,
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-all is lost. -She's supposed to be good.
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She's supposed to do right.
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She's supposed to be devoted and grateful
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-and-- -And that's what the belt is for.
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She tell you I beat her. I never beat her. Ever.
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A spanking, yes.
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(laughs) Absolutely,
125
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but that is educational.
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She needs to know what is accepted and what is not.
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And as you well know, Ms. Taylor,
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us Black folk are held
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to a different standard in this life.
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And I'm the villain.
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I didn't say you were a villain.
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It's a legacy of trauma that our people are constantly asked
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to reckon with.
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You'll never know what it's like.
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The number of times Laila has had me
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dead to rights with worry.
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The number of years she has shaved off my life
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with the stunts she's pulled.
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If I didn't love her so much, I'd...
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(sighs) Every time, in moments like these,
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I pray, "Dear Lord,
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please keep Laila safe."
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And at the same time, I am so angry.
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In my heart,
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how dare she.
146
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Instead of how dare she,
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what if you framed it as,
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"She dared."
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(phone buzzing)
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Rhonda, your phone. Do you want to check it?
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Oh, it's not mine.
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Wait, you have Laila's phone?
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It was charging in her room when I went in this morning.
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Keeps going off with all these notifications.
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I don't know how she stands it.
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I found all these old texts from...
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Cara.
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Can't read a one of 'em.
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♪ ♪
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And you don't find it strange that she left it behind?
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I chalk it up to her getting smarter.
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Same with the credit cards.
163
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No plane fares, no rental cars.
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I checked in with her school, friends.
165
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Have you reached out to Cara?
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I spoke to her mother this morning,
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though a lot of good it did me.
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It's over between them.
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They haven't spoken in over a week.
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Might be the one thing you did right in here, Doctor.
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Anyone else that Laila might reach out to?
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Another friend? A cousin? Family member?
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-Brooke, you're starting to scare me. -That's not my intention.
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I'm just-- I'm trying to, uh, piece together...
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And the car, Rhonda. She just walked away from it?
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-Mm-hmm. -As far as you know,
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things are over between her and Cara.
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That's what her mother told me.
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And the last place the Uber dropped her
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was the overlook.
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So how did she get home?
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What about, um, social media?
183
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Is there any activity in the last 24 hours?
184
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Well, there was something last night.
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Uh, I couldn't make any sense of it though.
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Brooke: Ave atque vale.
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Hail and farewe...
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farewell.
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(inhales)
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Rhonda, did you report Laila missing this morning?
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They'll say what they always say.
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That it's a voluntary disappearance, and that means...
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Wait.
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-Why? -Now, I'm not saying that Laila--
195
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That-that Laila what? What-what are you saying?
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Rhonda, I think it's time for us to call emergency services.
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(kettle screeching loudly)
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(kettle slowly stops)
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(puts down cup)
200
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Rhonda, I'd like to talk about what we might expect, alright?
201
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We requested a welfare check. Are you familiar with that?
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It's a request friends and family can make
203
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when they fear for someone's mental state.
204
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I requested that they go check on Laila at the overlook,
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and I stressed that they send mental health responders,
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-not the police. -Ugh!
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Never should've brought her here. Hm.
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Never.
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I thought it might help make her stronger.
210
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Now, look-look what you've done. You were supposed to help her.
211
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You're not alone in your skepticism about what I do.
212
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Therapy's not exactly
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a time-honored tradition in our community.
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It's hard to get over the stigma when there's so few therapists
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who look like us, who understand... us.
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There are plenty of explanations, Brooke.
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You know that, right?
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Good ones. Plenty. I mean,
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what about Laila taking her mother's ring?
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That has to mean something.
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Maybe she went looking for her.
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-Would she where to start? -Nah.
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Not much worth knowing, frankly.
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That woman's off raising a white man's babies and...
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made herself a whole white family, and that was that.
226
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Did she try keeping in contact with Laila?
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Oh sure. She tried.
228
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But it was all so damn confusing.
229
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Eventually, she just couldn't do it anymore.
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Decided it was better for everyone in the long run.
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I'll never understand...
232
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how she could just walk away.
233
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My son, he's not perfect, but no man is.
234
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But that sweet baby girl.
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How could you not want to know her every minute?
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I mean, she's...
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she's everything.
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Is that true?
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Why else would I do so much for her?
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I want Laila's every last dream to come true.
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You sure they're her dreams?
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Well, they sure as hell aren't mine.
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Berkeley?
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That's her dream?
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Berkeley, yes. Absolutely yes.
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Ask her.
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My son? He works all the time.
248
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Misses out on a lot, but he provides.
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You know, we have a life.
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I couldn't have thought to imagine back where I came from.
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We were poor people, Brooke. Poor people.
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And even now, it's not the house, the cars.
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The real luxury Jamal's success
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has given to this family
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is the opportunity to dream.
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What do you mean?
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Laila, being all in her head all the time.
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In some ways, that's success.
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She's not stuck somewhere thinking about
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where her next meal is coming from.
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Not counting the hours before the power's cut off.
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You think anybody ever asked me
263
00:14:22,233 --> 00:14:25,033
what my hopes were when I was growing up?
264
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:28,030
They're gonna care what a half-starved little Black girl
265
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,770
out of east Texas in the '60s
266
00:14:31,033 --> 00:14:33,373
wants out of life?
267
00:14:33,433 --> 00:14:35,433
(scoffs) Come on, now.
268
00:14:35,500 --> 00:14:38,670
And if they had asked,
269
00:14:38,733 --> 00:14:41,703
-what did you want? -That's what I'm saying, Brooke.
270
00:14:41,766 --> 00:14:44,126
I didn't have dreams.
271
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,430
All I have are the people I make,
272
00:14:46,500 --> 00:14:49,670
and I put every single thing I have into them.
273
00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:54,303
My child and the child of my child.
274
00:14:54,366 --> 00:14:57,466
And now, look. He-he's dead inside,
275
00:14:57,533 --> 00:14:59,273
and she...
276
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:02,600
is in the wind.
277
00:15:06,466 --> 00:15:10,196
I can feel how deep your pain runs, Rhonda.
278
00:15:10,266 --> 00:15:12,496
I spent over half my life in service
279
00:15:12,566 --> 00:15:15,026
of other people's dreams.
280
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:17,130
My father put me through the paces,
281
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,130
and I resented him my entire life.
282
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:23,403
Never got to make peace.
283
00:15:23,466 --> 00:15:25,566
I wouldn't wish that on anyone.
284
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:30,470
You mean you wouldn't wish it on me and Laila.
285
00:15:30,533 --> 00:15:33,203
I'm glad you made the connection.
286
00:15:33,666 --> 00:15:34,726
(sighs)
287
00:15:36,366 --> 00:15:39,466
You're a real piece of work, Brooke Taylor.
288
00:15:39,533 --> 00:15:42,103
That girl breaks my heart.
289
00:15:42,166 --> 00:15:43,396
She tears me to pieces,
290
00:15:43,466 --> 00:15:46,196
which makes me want to tear her to pieces,
291
00:15:46,266 --> 00:15:49,026
and you try to make me feel sorry for her?
292
00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,770
-Sitting there, judging me... -No.
293
00:15:52,033 --> 00:15:53,773
for the way I raise my grandbaby?
294
00:15:54,033 --> 00:15:55,633
For the way I have loved her?
295
00:15:55,700 --> 00:15:58,530
And all the while, she's missing.
296
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:01,430
Maybe hurt. Maybe worse.
297
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,670
-I don't wanna hear it, Brooke. -No, Rhonda.
298
00:16:03,733 --> 00:16:06,533
I was only going to say that...
299
00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:10,130
it's always so much easier to be mad
300
00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,700
than scared.
301
00:16:16,466 --> 00:16:19,566
(phone ringing, buzzing)
302
00:16:26,066 --> 00:16:27,366
Dr. Brooke Taylor.
303
00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:30,273
Laila (on phone): (giggles) Oh, so formal.
304
00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:33,303
What's up, Dr. T? Do you have a moment?
305
00:16:35,666 --> 00:16:37,326
Of course, Laila.
306
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,100
Laila: I'm sorry, but I was gonna call you
307
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:41,496
at the beginning of our session, but, uh, got confused
308
00:16:41,566 --> 00:16:43,366
at the time zones and everything.
309
00:16:43,433 --> 00:16:44,773
Give me the phone.
310
00:16:46,766 --> 00:16:51,196
-Sounds like you're okay. -Laila: I am, actually.
311
00:16:51,266 --> 00:16:53,526
I'm good. Really good.
312
00:16:55,733 --> 00:16:58,073
(footsteps receding)
313
00:17:00,233 --> 00:17:01,333
(shuts door)
314
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:04,400
What did you mean by time zones?
315
00:17:04,466 --> 00:17:06,766
Laila: Well, I did it. (chuckles)
316
00:17:07,033 --> 00:17:09,433
I left. I'm-I'm in Lima.
317
00:17:09,500 --> 00:17:11,700
Can you FaceTime? I can show you.
318
00:17:17,633 --> 00:17:22,233
So, I am here, alone.
319
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:25,670
That is really something.
320
00:17:25,733 --> 00:17:27,233
-I'm-- -What?
321
00:17:27,300 --> 00:17:29,070
Shocked? Upset?
322
00:17:31,766 --> 00:17:33,496
I'm proud.
323
00:17:35,133 --> 00:17:38,403
I'm so glad you called to check in.
324
00:17:38,466 --> 00:17:40,466
I was worried when you didn't show.
325
00:17:40,533 --> 00:17:42,703
(traffic noise in distance)
326
00:17:42,766 --> 00:17:44,166
Brooke: And there's...
327
00:17:44,233 --> 00:17:46,673
someone else you should be in contact with.
328
00:17:48,033 --> 00:17:49,733
Grandma? So she can come down here
329
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,570
and drag me back? Nah, I'm not doing that.
330
00:17:52,633 --> 00:17:54,403
Well, just call her and tell her you
331
00:17:54,466 --> 00:17:57,226
-aren't ready to come home. -She's gonna, like,
332
00:17:57,300 --> 00:17:59,470
straight-up choke me through the phone. No way.
333
00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:01,033
Brooke: Listen, Laila.
334
00:18:01,100 --> 00:18:04,500
You made it to a new country. You found a place to sleep.
335
00:18:04,566 --> 00:18:07,096
-You, what, you bought that phone there? -Yeah.
336
00:18:07,166 --> 00:18:09,496
I had to. Rhonda's had tracking apps on my phone
337
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:11,066
since I was, like, 10.
338
00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:14,673
You're navigating a city you've never been in before. You!
339
00:18:14,733 --> 00:18:16,673
And you're telling me you're incapable of calling
340
00:18:16,733 --> 00:18:19,273
your grandmother to tell her you don't want her to worry,
341
00:18:19,333 --> 00:18:21,373
but you want to stay where you are?
342
00:18:23,066 --> 00:18:25,526
Look, she doesn't care where I am.
343
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:28,600
-(imitates buzzer) -(giggles)
344
00:18:28,666 --> 00:18:32,426
-Can I ask you a question, Laila? -Hm.
345
00:18:32,500 --> 00:18:34,500
Why'd you take your mother's ring?
346
00:18:35,100 --> 00:18:36,170
(scoffs)
347
00:18:37,533 --> 00:18:40,533
Um... I'm scared.
348
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:45,326
But, um, but she did it. You know?
349
00:18:46,166 --> 00:18:47,996
Did what?
350
00:18:48,066 --> 00:18:51,566
Well, my mom needed to go, and she did.
351
00:18:53,533 --> 00:18:56,573
I was mad at her for so long, but...
352
00:18:57,633 --> 00:19:01,703
I think I sort of understand now.
353
00:19:01,766 --> 00:19:04,066
I... sort of.
354
00:19:06,200 --> 00:19:09,730
Maybe she's a little like my hero.
355
00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:13,700
Okay, look.
356
00:19:13,766 --> 00:19:17,666
How about I promise to think about calling Rhonda?
357
00:19:17,733 --> 00:19:21,403
-I'll take it. -(giggles) Okay.
358
00:19:21,466 --> 00:19:23,196
Well, I need to go to the train station,
359
00:19:23,266 --> 00:19:25,096
figure out if buying a ticket in person
360
00:19:25,166 --> 00:19:26,566
is easier than buying one online
361
00:19:26,633 --> 00:19:29,573
because it was, like, a mess the first time.
362
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:32,000
Ave atque vale.
363
00:19:32,066 --> 00:19:34,526
Ah! You saw my post?
364
00:19:34,600 --> 00:19:37,270
(laughs) Was it too cryptic? I don't know.
365
00:19:37,333 --> 00:19:39,273
Like, I-I thought it was cool, but, you know,
366
00:19:39,333 --> 00:19:42,433
just like saying goodbye to the city and all.
367
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:47,070
It was cryptic. And cool.
368
00:19:47,133 --> 00:19:49,503
Hm. (soft laugh)
369
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:52,703
Well, um,
370
00:19:52,766 --> 00:19:55,296
enjoy the rest of your, uh,
371
00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:57,596
night or day or...
372
00:19:57,666 --> 00:20:01,026
Yeah. Bruh, like, time zones?
373
00:20:02,366 --> 00:20:06,166
Call me. Anytime.
374
00:20:06,233 --> 00:20:09,033
Thanks, Dr. Taylor.
375
00:20:12,366 --> 00:20:13,466
(beeping)
376
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:20,730
(claps thigh)
377
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:29,533
(sobbing)
378
00:20:31,666 --> 00:20:33,096
(gasping)
379
00:20:38,666 --> 00:20:40,226
She's safe, Rhonda.
380
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:42,530
-She's safe. -(crying)
381
00:20:44,066 --> 00:20:46,496
(gasping)
382
00:20:46,566 --> 00:20:49,296
-Where is she? -You think you can let Laila
383
00:20:49,366 --> 00:20:52,196
-be where she is? -Which is where, damn it?!
384
00:20:52,266 --> 00:20:55,696
Even if she doesn't make the right choices?
385
00:20:55,766 --> 00:20:58,396
Even if she messes up. Even,
386
00:20:58,466 --> 00:21:02,626
God forbid, she gets herself hurt.
387
00:21:02,700 --> 00:21:07,400
It's important for Laila to do this on her own.
388
00:21:07,466 --> 00:21:10,366
I've done a good long time on this Earth, Brooke,
389
00:21:10,433 --> 00:21:13,573
but I have never been as mad at-at anyone
390
00:21:13,633 --> 00:21:16,373
as I am at you this very minute.
391
00:21:16,433 --> 00:21:19,033
Or you've never been so scared.
392
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:23,430
We've talked about the worst thing
393
00:21:23,500 --> 00:21:26,270
that could happen if you let Laila go,
394
00:21:26,333 --> 00:21:28,203
but the best thing that could happen
395
00:21:28,266 --> 00:21:30,726
is Laila finds her purpose
396
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:34,000
and you finally know yours.
397
00:21:51,633 --> 00:21:55,103
I saw your car in the garage on the way in.
398
00:21:55,166 --> 00:21:57,296
You think you're some kind of professional,
399
00:21:57,366 --> 00:22:00,066
out here driving around in a Prius?
400
00:22:04,100 --> 00:22:07,000
What's wrong with a Prius?
401
00:22:07,066 --> 00:22:09,126
Honey, they got all kinds of
402
00:22:09,200 --> 00:22:11,030
environmental cars these days.
403
00:22:11,100 --> 00:22:13,430
You don't have to punish yourself.
404
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:16,333
Come to the dealership,
405
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,700
and I'll make sure you drive away in a real car.
406
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:26,600
(phone ringing)
407
00:22:26,666 --> 00:22:29,526
What if it's her? What do I do?
408
00:22:30,266 --> 00:22:31,696
You listen.
409
00:22:31,766 --> 00:22:35,026
♪ ♪
410
00:22:36,333 --> 00:22:37,773
(ringing stops)
411
00:22:40,633 --> 00:22:42,303
Hello?
412
00:22:45,233 --> 00:22:46,333
(sighs)
413
00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,700
(footsteps receding)
414
00:22:54,533 --> 00:22:55,633
(door shuts)
415
00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:12,503
♪ ♪
416
00:23:39,233 --> 00:23:42,333
♪ ♪
417
00:24:09,233 --> 00:24:12,303
♪ ♪
29949
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