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The Confessions Of
Nymphomaniac Seamstress Rita Brauchts

(Rita "Needs It")

First row attention!
Line up in two rows!

And remember, no art.

Yes, boss.
All right.

Revolution is doable!

Up with the skirt!

Look, the skirts are getting
shorter and shorter.

I wonder where that will end.

Tender in bed,
hard with the cops!

Attention! The squares are out!
They've become a social menace!

A problem for global peace!

The police not only regulates
the road traffic,

but also the traffic in our beds!
We claim Free Love!

We have a right to orgasm!

Give me the film,
you fucking cop!

Freddie?

Calm down, this is a project by
the Film Academy.

You're at the Film Academy?
- Not me, but my brother...

is at the Film Academy.
- What?

Sorry, I thought you were
such a police cameraman.

The always wear Che Guevara T-shirts.
- Really?

That's perverse!
- What's your film about?

Well, everything, what
you do here, actually.

Really?

Well, if I can help
with your film...

Come and visit us.

My name's Luzie.
- Bennie.

What a hottie, she likes you.

Come on, Walter, stupid cops.
- Just a pity that you're a cop.

I'm working with a big project,
and I'd like you in there.

No. Absolutely not. Not again.
- Man, it's death-proof business!

Freddie...

I've got nothing, really.
- Tell me, how come,

that you think I want something?
- It's been so since I was 4!

You always wanted to make films, right?
- I do it.

I'm trained as a cameraman
at the police school.

To control suspicious revolutionaries.
Actually... you're

a fucking informer! Bennie,
you can't make it for long.

You tell me?
You've never had a job

more than 3 days!
- Come on, at the bank

I've been over a week already!
- As watchman!

You wanted to go to film school
and become a filmmaker!

Instead, you've let Dad
talk you into the police.

You know it was Dad's great wish.
- I know.

But I'll give you the chance to make
the film you always dreamed of.

Love! Hate! Jealousy!

Great feelings!

You give me the chance
for a film? You of all?

You'll see. Come on. Let's
say hello to some people.

Here's Cesare, our producer.
He'll pre-finance the film.

Cesare also owns a pizzeria.
- Buona sera, Bennie.

Freddie has told a lot about you.

Oh, really?

Lothar has an apprenticeship
as electrician.

Started.

Well, I currently think
about starting.

That's Irene. Lothar's girlfriend.

Irene has done a course
at a hairdresser. She could...

take over the make-up.
If you agree.

I'd be very happy!
- And this is Mr. Eckert.

Mr. Eckert is a real professional.
He's the projectionist here.

He has worked at the DEFA studios
since the war.

Eckert.
I feel very honoured,

that you have taken me on board.

3 MILLION VIEWERS.
SENSATION IN THE GERMAN FILM BUSINESS:

Oswalt Kolle, Germany's love guru, won
The Golden Screen for Miracle of Love.

A new record. 3 million viewers
in 11 weeks."

So what?
- Bennie, we can do that too!

Bennie, together we make
such a big bag full of money.

3 millions: Stronzo!

A cinema ticket costs 2.50.

Time 3 millions,
make 7.5 millions.

Holy Virgine! 7.5 millions!
- Conservatively counted!

Cesare suggested a great lead!
She shall be talented!

She has two great talents!

You wanna make such a film?
- You'll see.

Love, hate, jealousy.
Great feelings.

Caress me down here.
- Hey, what do you mean?

Let me do it my way!
- But you have no ideas!

Always the same! And then so quick.
- Maybe best we forget it.

You only think about yourself!
It's the same what I feel!

Don't you have fun?
- Yes. But not enough time!

I come only if I...

If what?
- If I do it myself.

What? You masturbate?
Why did you even marry me?

She's sweet, eh?

Promise that you stop it.
- I can't.

She must promise. She's a wife!
- But that's perverted!

You must have a bad conscience!
- Yes, but not because I do it,

it's because I do it secretly.
I feel I deceive you.

With whom? With that one?
What a joke!

Shut up!

Bennie? Bennie!

What's going on?
- I can't do that.

I know that the film isn't
really on your thing...

My adjuration as policeman is
in 2 weeks. When it gets out

that I'm making a sex film,
its over and out.

And in fact for ever.
- From whom should they hear it?

Just a few days, come on.
Let's do it.

There's more.

What?

I can't make a film about sex.
- Why not?

I've never...
- You've never had sex?

Beautiful evening.
- Bennie!

Bennie, wait. Bennie.

I haven't told you
about the pills.

What kind of pills?
- Birth control pills.

I've got 5000 packs for sale.

But that's illegal!
- Only if you get caught.

On the open market I could sell them
for five times the price.

Why "could have"?

I can not believe it!
You steal money from a bank!

I don't steal anything.
I'm watchman, an employee.

I took out a short-term advance.
From Friday to Monday.

Yes, and then?

Then I found out, that these
weren't birth-control pills.

What then?

Peppermint.

The guys with the 10000
were of course long gone.

And what will you do now?
- Well, the film.

With you.

Bennie, you're the only one
I know, who knows,

how to make films.
And this film is my only chance

to pay back the money to the bank.
Otherwise, I end up in jail.

Everything is thoroughly prepared.
We're waiting for you.

Freddie...
- You are my brother.

You can't abandon me.
I need you.

2nd reminder.

How's it going?
- Not so good.

We need to draw on the reserves.
- Dad's stamp collection?

Probably we've got no choice.
But if we sell it,

we'll get out a fair sum.

Can't you wait a little?
Maybe I get an idea.

Oh, Bennie.
- Who knows, sometimes...

sometimes miracles happen.

You talk like your brother.

To find straight story
for our film,

I would like to... invite you.

For a short ride through
the most successful productions

of the recent past. Questions?
- None.

Well. Then let's go.

Well.
I'll write down the best topics.

Exactly. And we simply
put them into our film.

Ok.

Darling?
- Yes!

May I come nearer?
- No.

I can't now.
- Why not?

Why, why?
- Can't I ask?

I shall always be ready for you.
I'm not in the mood.

Well, was it good?
- No!

Not recommended is this position
often chosen by the less experienced,

because the man lies from
above between the legs...

of his partner, forcing
his nose located too deep...

between the legs and
near the anus.

The demonstrated movements...
- Just forget it.

An ideal pace for the intercourse
doesn't exist.

But they should always be rhythmic,
as rhythm intensifies the sensations.

While the penetration
of the penis for the man...

immediately leads to an increasing
arousal, striving towards an orgasm,

the arousal of the woman also increases
through direct physical stimuli

although she can't
step up with him.

The imaginative lover...
- Well, well, I thought,

better start with the basics, huh?
- ...an erogenous zone,

but due to the knowledge
of all erogenous zones...

a symphony of perfect happiness
is composed.

Why not? Just write it down.
- After the foreplay...

with the woman lying on her back,
the man kneels next to her thigh,

so that he is in right angle to
her body. Then he pushes...

the left arm under the knees...
- What kind of angle?

I'm not sure right now.
Just go on...

The legs are lifted so high,
that they form a right angle...

with the thighs.
- Sorry, but I find it complicated.

Totally.

Undressing in front of the partner
won't fail it's effect on the man.

It is perhaps the oldest
seduction method of the woman.

Today, it is often commercially
exploited with the striptease.

Have you ever practised group sex?
- Yes.

Why did you do it?
- Out of curiosity.

Why is group sex so popular?
- Out of boredom, because...

alone it's too boring, well...
Curiosity as well.

What did you like most about group sex?
- Nothing.

Have you ever seen a porn magazine?
- Yes.

Do you think one should lift the ban
of porn for adults? - No.

That shouldn't happen.
- Continue it?

Yes.
- So you think porn is bad?

Actually not.
- But you want...

the ban to be continued?
- Yes, yes.

Doctor, what about the third way
to orgasm, through masturbation...

or onanism.
- 99% of all young men and girls...

masturbate occasionally,
while 1% lies.

Did you know that you on the size
of the mouth of a woman...

can infer the size of her vagina?
- The vagina of a normal, healthy woman

is so elastic that she usually adjusts
to the size of the penis.

There's the coffee!

I actually can't recognise
any concept.

Concept?
Tits and ass, that's the concept.

A scientific framework
is in fact required, huh?

We'll meet tonight at Cesare, ok?
- All right.

Shall I give you a lift?
- No thanks, I've other plans.

But don't forget the red thread!

Hello...

Well, let's see.

What? "I wanna fuck you?"

Shit!

Hi, Bennie!
- Bad timing?

No. Come in.

That's Lasse!
Always listening the Beijing Radio.

What, you speak Chinese?
- No, why?

I just listen out of solidarity.

Do you like one too?
- No, thank you.

And how's your film going?
- It's going rather... going fine.

Time for breakfast.
- This is Walter.

This is Bennie. You know,

who wants to make the film with us.
- It's that Stalinist nonsense.

Luckily I built too many yesterday.
Always think about the future.

Pre-building is really important.

Tell me,

I know you somehow.
- He was at the demonstration.

No, not there. It was
when they arrested me,

at the police station, can that be?
- Me?

What was your film about?

.
Never seen a naked woman?

Yes.

You know, Benjamin,

I'm quite curious if your film
is ideologically correct.

Yes, well, actually...
Yes.

So it is? And how will you
arrange everything?

Marxist-Leninist? Or do you rather
see the barter after the revolution?

Walter,

stop that ideological
dick comparison.

I just want to know
on which side he is.

Well, we'll show frankly
the marriage as...

Have I heard the word marriage?

Yes, just that marriage
is actually over and out,

and that a woman easily
can be with several men.

And what about the men?

Hello, my name's Köpke,
C.I.D. Ramersdorf.

Could it be that your car
was stolen? - Yes.

But how do you... I called the police
but no one answered.

Saturday... Ramersdorf...

There it is. That's unbelievable!
How have you done this so fast?

A well-known car thieve.
We had traced him for a long time.

You do what you can.
- That's really great.

And how did you get him?
- It was a few hours ago.

At a traffic light.

He wanted to show off, but
he just stalled the engine.

How could something
so stupid happen?

I asked that myself.

And? What's next?

I think we should complete
some formalities.

Of course. Come on in...

So, it will... be like...

Oswalt Kolle, for example.
- Pardon?

That square tries only to save
the marriage! - Exactly!

And we oppose it.

We put the revolution and the
sexual liberation against it.

That's not bad. With that contrast
he exposes the square moral clichés.

Funny concept!

Hey, don't you need more material
about square points of view?

Yeah, Sure! I mean,
it's going to be square.

Maybe I've got an idea.

Well, an educational film...
- Yes.

You play the cop again?
- The director has to decide.

Before I leave you my hall,

You must explain more detailed
what happens in this educational film.

I'm single. It's easy
to attract gossip.

Men shall get educated about
the sexual needs of women.

I see. And you're the expert?

Mom?

Who are you?
- I'm Freddie.

He is a film producer.

You don't look like one.
- How do I look then?

Like a show-off.

Mama, I'm visiting Georg.
- But don't stay so long again.

This is Emmelie. My daughter.
- Pretty... saucy.

Indeed.

Get rid of it. Off, off!

Everything must off.

One moment.

Tell me, did you know there
are women who are obsessed

with every day eating another
type of vegetable.

But why?

What has this obsession for vegetables
to do the your sex life?

Well, for me it's with men.
If I, for example,

have slept with an Italian, I would
avoid Italians for a good while.

Then comes a Frenchman,

a Dane, a Spaniard, and so on.

Only... after a certain number
men of different peoples?

Ten.
- Ten? You need ten men...

different nationalities,
to satisfy yourself?

And then I'm only number 11.
- It must be tough for you.

Yes.

What's your profession?
- I am a seamstress.

Seamstress? I see!

When you pedalled the sewing machine,
I mean...

did the rubbing of the thighs give
you voluptuous sensations?

Indeed!

There was one a day
where I sewed 45 pants!

45?

Scientifically the case is clear: The
friction of the thighs while sewing...

gave you a lively
sexual stimulation.

High doses at a young age
can cause nymphomania,

also called...
Man-eater sickness!

Is there any hope
for our love?

You should pause your sewing
for a while. As for you,

so you can satisfy your friend,
it is recommended

during the act to recite
prime numbers, or to

recall unpleasant experiences.
It will delay the ejaculation.

That was amazing. The scene
is essential for the film!

Exactly.
And I play the counselor!

I got the story for the film.

The innocent girl Rita

gets through her hard work
at the sewing machine

unintentionally sexually aroused.
- With a sewing machine?

Yes.
- Wicked...

Careful, careful!

I'm sorry.

Well...

Just take a look through!

Could you possibly
go back a little? Yes.

Yes. That's good, that's good.

One more from the front, okay?
- Yes.

Mom, you look great!
- I agree.

Emmelie, come,
I'll help you with homework.

Will he sleep more often with us?
- Don't be so curious.

Great. With such a camera you look
right into the heart of everything.

Huge, huge!
- Yes. Ok, Freddie...

You play the sexually exhausted
friend of Rita. - What?

Sexually exhausted, me?
- You shall just play it.

Oh, shit!

People, listen everybody!
Irene...

Bennie?
- Luzie, who comes right now,

may never understand that the film
we make is about sex.

And not a word that I'm a cop.
Is that clear?

Clear.
- Got it.

Clear.

Hello. I'm Luzie.

This is our team. The best you can find.
All professionals.

Here is your text for the scene...
- Thank you.

We're just missing the lead actress.

That can't be true!
- Where is she?

More than three hours already...
- Freddie, what shall I do?

Gina... she is a diva.

Cesare?

Gina?

Ciao!

Ciao, Bella!
- Ciao.

Well, she really has talent!
- Let me introduce you, Signorina Gina!

I'm the Bennie.
- I've heard so much about you.

Si!

I'm very happy that you take
the lead role in our film...

and I hope that...

and... I am convinced that we will
really work well together.

Va bene!

Good, then nothing can't go wrong
anymore. Would you please change now?

Va bene.

Change... wardrobe. For the role
you need different clothes.

Va bene.

Say, does Gina also speak German?
- German!

The language of love is Italian.
All over the world.

If she doesn't speak German,
she can't play in the film.

Is that clear?
- Is there a problem?

Everything is fine.
Freddie, I'll say it again,

I'm the producer.
If Gina doesn't play in this film,

I give no mark, no penny
not even a lira.

Capito?

She's got her text, she shall just
recite it. Tell her that!

You need to somehow
manage the text in German.

That one?
- Si.

Then comes first a "Dane"...

A Frenchman...

A Spaniard...

And so on...

Doesn't work, huh?
Doesn't work.

I can't do this.
I don't understand anything.

And now?

Bennie, do something.

Please. No matter what.

And... Please!

Well, now please tell me frankly,
what your problem is.

Hold on, please! Where is the problem?

I don't know how to play it.

What shall I say, if I don't
understand what's it about?

Gina doesn't know how to play
if she doesn't know what to say?

We just agreed that she can say
what she wants.

You can say what you want.

What shall I say?
Shall I just improvise?

I don't have a text. So I don't
know what to say, ok?

Gina says she can't think of any text.
- We've got a problem, huh?

Okay. She shall just recite
anything from your menu.

From my menu?
- Yes, your menu!

Come on, tell her. We can't spend
a whole day on that, man.

Recite all the dishes
from the restaurant.

Then they are satisfied.

Va Bene.
- Good!

We are "ready"!
- We shoot the next one.

Sound?
- Running!

And... please!

Well, now please tell me frankly,
what your problem is.

Mozzarella... with tomato.

And...

Saltimbocca.

And...

Freddie, Freddie,

Take over!

And then I, after...
repeated ejaculation...

collapsed unconscious. I!
- I don't hear anything!

I don't see anything. Off!

I don't want to play director,
But this

Italian talk will nobody understand.

We will dub it.

That's international
common practice.

In here.
- Has a little bit of air.

Good, good, very good!

Gina says,

she feels like a dog on a leash.
- Then she shall watch out,

that she doesn't get strangled!
- Ready?

Moment.

I'm... moment. Well...
Sound running!

Camera running. And please!

You need 10 men of various Nationalities
in order to satisfy yourself?

And I'm always only number 11...

That must be tough for you.
You have to learn,

that you still
are a valuable person.

Always these tomatoes.

Spaghetti.

Minestrone.

Sea...

Gina, por favore.
- Everybody come close.

Stay tuned.

Well, we're shooting.

Sound!
- Sound running!

And... Please!

Lasagna al Forno.

Pizza Margherita.
- Stop. Off.

Excuse me,
but I've never seen

that three people
speak into a bouquet.

Either sound or no sound.
- So what now?

No, we rearrange.
We go here... on the two.

Freddie, Gina, the wall must go,
come on.

Well, we're shooting. Sound!

Running!
- Camera is running.

Please.

Lasagne al Forno. Pizza Margherita.

First if you have intercoursed with
several men from different

nationalities in a particular order.

Cesare, they shall start crying now.
Tell her!

Gina, go ahead and cry, please.

Di bella Carbonara...

More expression, please!
- Hah?

"Molto espresso"!
- More expression! Come on, darling!

It was only the Parmesan.

Ah!
- Stop!

Highway!

Ah!
- Fantastic!

That was much better.

We may have to do it again.
- No.

Once more isn't possible.
Bennie, we're not doing art!

What? I don't about art. Well...
- Well? Go ahead!

It is what it is.
- I have to say now, unfortunately,

that the camera after 6 pm
no longer available is.

And it's already later.
- What?

Köpke, please set in the film that you
made at the demonstration,

so we can have a look
at the leaders.

Sorry, boss.
I'm afraid it's not possible.

Unfortunately the material
got exposed to light.

What? That's not possible...

Yes, unfortunately is
everything gone.

You're such a pinhead, Köpke!

Inspector. Maybe I can help.
- Yes, please.

At the demonstration I was assaulted
by an agitator with a cake.

I investigated the incident
independently...

and I can report that the culprit
lives nearby...

in a so-called commune.
- Here, in Ramersdorf?

Their lair is certainly full of drugs.
Enough for a couple of years.

I'll order an immediate crackdown.
Where there's one of this mob,

is certainly a whole nest.
We'll move out in half an hour.

Boss, I've got a proposal.
What if I drive ahead...

to observe the entrance?
- Good idea, Köpke!

I want photos of everybody
going in and out there. - Yes, boss!

Shit, shit, shit, shit!

Freddie! Freddie!

What's going on?
- Come on, get in! You gotta help me!

Come on!

Hey, you promised my mother,
that you are watching over me!

Oh man! Stupid adults.

What's that tone?
I'm a person of respect!

And you, please explain me,
what's going on.

Come on, give me your clothes!
- Your brother's even worse than you.

What?

And no nonsense!
- Okay.

Thank you.
- Good luck!

Stop! But not that way!
Are you insane?

Hey, hands off!

Switch it off at once!
- Why? I always wanted to do that.

Me too.

What was that?

The cops are making a raid here!
- What? Come in.

Well, Stalin?
Come on, have a little smoke.

Oh man, dump that!
The cops are coming!

Not a bad idea, with the cake.
- "Manual for hiding drugs".

Where's the back door?
- What back door?

Stay here. A raid is fun.

No, they may not find me here!
- What are you scared for?

Because of the film I'm making.

Open up! Police!

Come.

And into the oven.

God bless you, gentlemen.
- Rösner, come on, run!

Not in the closet!

Come under the blanket!

Moment.

Give me your finger!
- What?

Strip off!

Whoa!
- I've nothing to hide, officer!

Here we've got an evidence
of extramarital intercourse.

This is all legal. If you'd

excuse us. We're about to carry out
our duty for the German people

and produce a small, sweet and
submissive taxpayer.

The possession of a cake
must be legal, no?

At the last demonstration there was
exactly such a cake used as a missile...

Anything?
- Yes! I've confiscated an arm.

Nonsense Stürmer.
Put that back. March out!

That was luck. The good stuff.

Now tell me, how did you know
the cops would come?

Luzie, I have to confess something.

So, in reality, I'm...

Man, you've saved our ass!
- Well done, Bennie!

Come on, first piece for you.
- Can't you get lost for a moment?

And I thought you'd share
everything in a commune.

Gina,
you need to show emotions.

You must look really desperate
under your confession.

Tell her!

Everything from the grill.

With lots of cannelloni.

But not now!
The camera needs to run!

Sound!
- Sound running!

Camera's running...
And please.

Please.

What's up?

What does she say?
- Gina has no more emotions left.

What?
- She has let out all her emotions,

because you told her too soon.
Now she has none left.

Nice!

And now?

One... two... three...

Four... five... six...
- Oh! That must be tough for you.

Is there still hope for our love?
- But of course.

(talks Italian)

Cut!

That was it.
People, that was great!

And now we shoot the scene
where Gina only stands naked...

and says nothing.
The one with the pointer.

(talks Italian)

(talks Italian)

No.

Gina plays not naked.

What does that mean?
"Plays not naked"?

But you have told Gina,
what kind of film we're making?

And that in a sex film
you must play naked?

I said, it's a film about love.
- How?

Love?
- Much love.

Maybe Gina has misunderstood.
- You're kidding, no?

We shoot a sex film with an actress,
who doesn't speak German,

and doesn't want to strip off!
The first sex film without sex?

How shall we make money with that?
- Don't talk to me like that!

I've paid everything here!
- Yes, 800 Mark!

Si.
- Bennie?

Come with me outside.

You ripped me off quite a bit.
It's only about money, nothing else.

This film... I do it only
for my brother.

He's in an economical mess.
- I see. So what?

I must help him earn money
otherwise he goes to jail.

To prison.

How's the title of the film?

Well,

"Pornorama!

The Confessions Of Nymphomaniac
Seamstress Rita Brauchts! "

Good title.
- Yes.

What does that mean?
- Well, Rinchen just helps out.

What?
You've heard it.

Gina's won't do it.
Not even in a bikini.

It doesn't matter who
is playing that scene.

Well, let's shoot it this way.

Sound.

Sound running.

Camera is running. And please!

Here we have the left breast.
I want to mention,

that the nipple houses the
greatest pleasure factor.

Particularly in case of
so-called Nymphomania.

Nymphomani-ani-a.
- Oh, that's really stupid now.

I must load a new film.

When that roll is finished, we have
no more. It was the last one!

We gotta to buy more.

Cesare, you heard it.

But I've nothing with me.
- Then we'll go to your place first.

No. There's a problem. My Mom
checked the cashier yesterday.

And?
- She saw that the cashier was empty.

And what does that mean?
- She is upset.

I can't give anything more.
- You are only joking, right?

I'll kill you, you slimy,
small pizza maker.

Well, I could sell my scooter.

That's a hundred for sure.
- People, that's meaningless.

We're not going to
make it.

Only the camera, footage.
Add the price for the copies.

We are quite simply screwed.
- So stupid, that we've paid...

the ads for the premiere already.
That money is now gone.

I'm really sorry, Freddie.

Manual for Policemen

You've really learned something.
- Yes!

People, I've good news.

We continue as planned.

One, two...

and three.

Wow.
That gets us a little further.

Where's the money from?

It doesn't matter.
The main thing, it's there.

I agree...
The only question is,

how we solve the problem with Gina.
In one scene it was quite ok,

but I can't double her all the time.
- I've been...

thinking about it already.

"The Association Montage".

Sergei Mikhailovich Eisenstein.
- I don't get it.

How shall he help us?
- It's not just naked or not naked, huh?

Now it's only to study
the rules thoroughly...

Then we can show sex,
without showing sex.

Association Montage.

Silence!

Mess! I'll call the police!

Bonjour, Madame.
A la Bouillabaisse et la Marseillaise.

Kalinka!

Cut. Thank you.
- Well, I was good?

Yes, very good!
- Bene.

Freddie, pull yourself together.

Cut.

On the bed.

More jump! People, people! More!

I'd like to go to the cinema.

Listen to this:

"Pornorama!
The Confessions Of Nymphomaniac Seamstress

Rita Brauchts ".
- What a mess! Let me see.

"Premiere at the Apollo Cinema."

That's just around the corner.
- We must report it.

People, today's our last
shooting day.

And what comes now,
is the key scene in our film:

The scene where the seamstress
becomes nymphomaniac.

And we'll shooting really erotic.

You're not serious not, are you?

Can't you at least leave
some buttons open?

I'm sorry, she's adamant.

Well.

Finally.
- Man, Lothar.

Great, pull the tulle over,
a little softer.

Toilet defective!

Sound!
- Sound running!

Camera running!
And, Luzie, Gina.

Please!
- Fournier claims that young girls...

through certain activities like
machine sewing can be the cause...

for self desecration. With good reason!

Well done, slowly, slowly!

Fantastic, Lothar!

Through the continued rubbing
of the thights...

are lively sensations on the
external genital areas generated.

Of course, the effect gets stronger
the faster the pedal is moved.

Oh yes!

Saved.

Two hours left. The countdown is on.
- Cool, Cool man.

I'll open the ticket sale
for the first people, huh?

Hey man, look at that!
- Unbelievable.

We really did it.
- You did it.

You shot your first film.

Come on!

What's going on here?

I haven't sold any ticket yet.
- What?

(talks Italian)

Do I miss anything now?
Why are all the people out there?

Obviously they don't want
to see the screening.

Lechbach, chief inspector. The
screening is prohibited by the police.

Why, if one may ask again?
- That's typical!

Always this repressive crap!
Why don't you get lost?

Bennie,
what are you doing here?

You should have worked today!
- Exactly, Köpke, where were you?

One day before your adjuration
as police officer!

What?

You are a cop?

Luzie, Luzie, wait!

Luzie! Luzie!

Get lost!

Luzie, listen to me!
I know I should have told you.

Yes, I wanted to tell you also.
- I can't believe it.

I've fucked with a cop.
- Damn, what's so bad with it?

There must be policemen too.

Your car would be stolen every day.
- I have no car.

Then your bike.
Or you're robbed every night.

Luzie, I love you and I wish
I had never lied to you.

Bennie, I've had enough.

Find another idiot.

There will be a sequel!

One time
"Animalistic, Lickerish & Shameless"

2.80 mark, please.

And now I want to know
who screwed it up.

"Swedish Birch Forests"?

She doesn't want to see you.
- I'd like to hear it from herself.

Piss off, you fucking cop!

I don't get it.
- There might be more nature lovers,

than you'd think.

KINKY SWEDES

I need to talk to you.

Pornography is illegal, I think!

Stop that gossip about censorship.

Now the others drive their money
home in wheelbarrows. Shit!

Madonna, what have we done?
Nothing.

And we got all that police!

We didn't pay for "Kinky Swedes"
but for "Swedish Birch Forests".

That's the trick.

That's it.

It's over.

Let's go home.
- No, let times.

I'll follow later.

What will you do now?
- I fly to New York tomorrow morning.

New York?
- I just saw an old girlfriend.

She has borrowed a few bucks.
- And Mom? If you fly so early

you can't say goodbye to her.
- Right now that's maybe better.

The money for the film, right?
You've tapped her.

I haven't tapped her. I've...
- Yes, what?

Say it!

I've pledged the stamp collection.

You what?
- God, what should I have done?

From somewhere the money had to come.
- Are you completely nuts?

That was her pension!

It's possible she must
sell the house now.

How much did you get?
- 10,000.

Are you totally insane? The collection
was worth at least 50,000.

I can redeem it, right?
Think I leave Mom in the lurch?

Those few thousand marks.

In America I'll earn dollars.

You know what, Freddie?
You're still my brother,

but I've got enough with you.

I begin with the adjuration
of our candidates.

Ludwig Rösner, do you swear
to exercise your duty...

in all conscience?
- I swear.

Go home, you morons!

Do you swear to exercise your duty
in all concience?

Sorry, boss, but I have to pass.

Köpke, have you lost your mind?

Yes.

Peter Thomas Friedl.

That was a great act.

Bennie, telephone.

A Mr. Badewitz
wants to talk to you.

Yes?

What? Are you sure?

Yes, of course.

So, we are six people.

No. Seven.
Well, then we'll meet the 27th?

Bye.

Well then!

International Film Festival
Hof

Sorry, where're you going?
The screening is almost over!

(talks Italian)

I'm sorry, but we are sold out!
- Sold out?

She's the star of the film.
She is Gina Ferrari!

Well then.

Nastrovje, Borschtsch, Kalinka!

Finally, where were you?
The film's almost finished!

But good you're here.

Such a mess! I'll call the police!

Well, maybe a little
too much Eisenstein.

You're a genius! A film-God!

The director of the film,
Benjamin Köpke.

I congratulate you sincerely
to this success.

What will you do with the money?
- Well, so I...

10,000 go to my producer...

and my actors,
led by Gina Ferrari.

Grazie!
- And my brave crew,

that enabled me
to make this film.

And as far as the other 10,000,

I will invest them...
In stamps.

And now I'd like
to thank one person.

She gave me the idea
for the film...

and so I'm very sorry
that she can't be here today.

Excuse me, I'm just a little...
I see... I see

that she there anyway. Back there.
I ask her to join us on the stage.

Luzie, I beg you!

Yes, I hope that I still...

I can make many more films
together with her and...

a lot more.
- Do you mean,

I don't need a sewing machine
anymore?

Pants down. I wanna see.

Full House.

Moment!

So what? 3 tens and a couple.

I've got two kings.
- I have three.

Exactly.

Have you ever seen five kings
in one game?

Are you implying that I swindle?

Köpke. You have a visitor.

Say, do you have to stay here
much longer?

Not that long. A year or two,
perhaps even less.

After all I've turned myself in,
voluntary.

When you get out, we'll be there.

I want to fuck you! What?

Well, Stalin? - Shit, I can't
remember what I wanted to say.

In order to... Can I come again?
- Yes, please.

Cut!

I'm sorry. Shit, again.

Sorry...
- Off!

Can we do it once more?
- Try.

One time
"Animalistic, Lickerish & Herma"...

Once more.

Subtitles:
The Huge Animal From The North