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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,640 That's a terrible decision. Oh, and you're the expert, are you? 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:06,440 I've got eyes, mate, I've got four of them. 3 00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:08,760 You know nothing, mate, nothing! Come on, you Reds! 4 00:00:08,760 --> 00:00:11,240 Yes, come on, please, the red, just the red ones! 5 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:13,440 Oh, naff off, ref, that was never a foul! 6 00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:16,080 Oh, put your handbag away, Grandma. 7 00:00:16,080 --> 00:00:19,480 What's going on here then? Since when did you watch football? 8 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,160 Oh, they keep talking about it at work. 9 00:00:21,160 --> 00:00:23,600 I'm just watching enough so I've got something to say. 10 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:26,680 Ah, excuse me, it's time for my Murder, She Wrote! 11 00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,400 Murder, She Wrote? Again? 12 00:00:29,400 --> 00:00:32,000 Yes, it's my one form of entertainment and I... 13 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,400 Oh, that was a dive! That was a dive! 14 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,240 All part of the game! Part of the game! 15 00:00:36,240 --> 00:00:37,560 Yeah, kick his head in! 16 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:38,800 Look at this. 17 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:40,160 Wow! 18 00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,920 They've got a promo and everything. 19 00:00:42,920 --> 00:00:46,640 "Here at Arrowcroft Hall, we look after your every need. 20 00:00:46,640 --> 00:00:50,640 "A beautiful 16th-century mansion set within 100 acres 21 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,440 "of green English countryside. 22 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,920 "Weddings, celebrations, corporate events, whatever the occasion..." 23 00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:58,920 You should do one of these films. 24 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:00,840 No, I'm not going in front of the camera again. 25 00:01:00,840 --> 00:01:02,600 That's fine, I'll do it. Easy. 26 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,280 Oh, wow! 27 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,600 Skills! Oh, he's so good! 28 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,720 You just fancy him from that aftershave ad. 29 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,440 No, I don't. It's nothing to do with that. 30 00:01:10,440 --> 00:01:11,840 I just admire his, like... 31 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:14,560 Keepie-uppies. Keep, keepie-uppies. Keep, keepie-uppies. 32 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,680 Well, I could do that if I had, like, 1,000 hours' practise. 33 00:01:17,680 --> 00:01:20,280 I don't think you could. I could. 34 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,920 Only 1,000? 35 00:01:22,920 --> 00:01:26,680 Humphrey, can I borrow you for a bit? 36 00:01:26,680 --> 00:01:27,720 HE MUMBLES 37 00:01:47,520 --> 00:01:50,200 Well, Mike's filming this promo thing today 38 00:01:50,200 --> 00:01:52,960 and we should soon have enough money to start the gatehouse. 39 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,320 So, between making money from that and events, 40 00:01:55,320 --> 00:01:57,440 he should be able to stop his job job. 41 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:58,760 Great, that's so good. 42 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:00,400 Are you OK? 43 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,360 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 44 00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:04,520 You looked like you just...seen a... 45 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:07,200 Oh, no, it's only, I'm just going on and on about myself. Hello? 46 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,480 How about you, how are things with the cafe, any news? 47 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:10,680 Oh, God, don't ask. 48 00:02:10,680 --> 00:02:11,880 Did you...? What? Really? 49 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:14,080 I thought it was all good. You just looked at me. 50 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,080 It's a long story, honestly, I'd rather hear about you. 51 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:18,360 Can you see me? 52 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:19,920 Did something happen? 53 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,680 Excuse me. 54 00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:23,080 It's so embarrassing. 55 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,120 Young lady, can you tell me who won the war? 56 00:02:25,120 --> 00:02:28,000 I've lost it all. What? 57 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:30,280 Yeah, he basically conned me. 58 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,080 He did all this talk about investment 59 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:36,800 and believing in my vision, and then he just ran off with my deposit. 60 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,840 Oh, my... 61 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:41,200 Just all the money I'd saved. 62 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:42,840 What a total... 63 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,440 Yeah. 64 00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,320 Isn't there something, like, that you can do? 65 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:50,560 Yeah, well, he said it would be easier if we put all the money 66 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:53,800 into one account and I just didn't even question it! 67 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:55,200 So.. 68 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:56,760 I mean, I guess... 69 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:58,720 ..I'm an, I'm an idiot. 70 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,280 You're not an idiot. 71 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:05,120 No, I, I am an idiot, actually, because I didn't read the paperwork, 72 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,440 I didn't get any independent advice, 73 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:10,640 I didn't even check his background. 74 00:03:10,640 --> 00:03:11,840 Oh, no! 75 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:13,440 Lucy, none of this is your fault. 76 00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:18,120 You poor thing. Come here. Come here. 77 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,520 Do you...? 78 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:23,880 I fancy a jog, actually. 79 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,600 Shall we jog back to the car? 80 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,080 Erm...yeah. 81 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:29,640 Just get out of here, shake it off. 82 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:32,880 Oh... 83 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,880 We're going to be stuck here forever and I just think I'll go mad. 84 00:03:38,880 --> 00:03:41,240 Now steady on. Steady. 85 00:03:41,240 --> 00:03:43,840 We must not lose our morale. 86 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,400 At least we have each other. 87 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:47,080 Yes, Gerald. 88 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,640 And there must be some way off this island, Beatrice. 89 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,000 We need a boat! 90 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:58,080 We could cut down this tree. 91 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,360 Ah! Ah, that's done it. 92 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:03,320 Here she goes. Timber! 93 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:05,880 And we can fashion it into a canoe. 94 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:08,240 Tong, tong, tong, tong. Tong, tong, tong, tong. 95 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,000 There we go. In you get, Beatrice. 96 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,840 Aye! OK. 97 00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:15,320 Yeah. Very good. Right, OK. 98 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:17,360 I see home! 99 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:19,240 Ah, land ahoy! 100 00:04:19,240 --> 00:04:21,760 And scene! Lovely. 101 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:23,440 Lovely stuff. 102 00:04:23,440 --> 00:04:26,040 You got stuck on an island and you found a way off of it. 103 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,560 Wonderful improvisation. 104 00:04:27,560 --> 00:04:28,920 Do I like that. 105 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,120 Whose line is it anyway? 106 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,760 Right, who's next? No, let someone else have a turn. 107 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:35,080 Me! Yes, Mary. 108 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,600 And...where's Lady B? 109 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:38,720 Well, she's watching Murder, She Wrote. 110 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:40,120 Is she, again? 111 00:04:40,120 --> 00:04:41,600 Yes, afraid so. 112 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:46,320 OK, Robin, would you like to, you know, give it a try? 113 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:49,560 HE GROANS 114 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:52,160 OK, well, let's start with something simple, 115 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:55,400 so how about the shopkeeper and the customer? 116 00:04:55,400 --> 00:04:58,120 Mary enters Robin's shop 117 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,040 and... 118 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:01,160 ..improvise. 119 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:03,080 Where's the shop? It's here. 120 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,320 What? 121 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,480 Well, it's pretend. You know, use your imagination. 122 00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:08,800 It's in your imagination. 123 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:13,880 Door, Mary. 124 00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:15,960 Please, can I have a door? 125 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:17,320 Oh, it's a door shop. 126 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:18,520 Great, yeah. 127 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:20,560 No. 128 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,280 OK. 129 00:05:23,280 --> 00:05:25,040 Now, Robin, that's called blocking. 130 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:27,640 Mary's made you an offer there, she's made this a door shop, 131 00:05:27,640 --> 00:05:29,400 so you need to build on that 132 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:33,240 and say something like, "What kind of door do you require, madam?" 133 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:35,280 What door you want? 134 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:36,760 Oh, erm... 135 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:38,280 Can I have a new door? 136 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,520 No. 137 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,360 OK, Robin, that's... 138 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:44,200 Don't block, OK? 139 00:05:44,200 --> 00:05:48,360 In improvisation, you say, "Yes, and..." 140 00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,240 OK? 141 00:05:50,240 --> 00:05:52,800 Yes, and... 142 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:54,200 ..no. 143 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:56,840 You know, why do I want a new door, though, Patrick? 144 00:05:56,840 --> 00:05:58,480 I don't know, it's not my... 145 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,360 Let's try something new, OK? 146 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,120 Erm, how about the doctor's surgery? 147 00:06:04,120 --> 00:06:06,360 Oh, yes. 148 00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:09,040 OK. And...improvise. 149 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:12,800 Hello, are you a doctor? No. 150 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:14,160 Flaming Nora! 151 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:15,640 BUZZING OUTSIDE 152 00:06:17,040 --> 00:06:18,640 Take cover! 153 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:23,800 Oooh! 154 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,240 Nice. 155 00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:36,840 Yeah! 156 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:38,680 All right! 157 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:39,880 Daddy got a brand-new drone. 158 00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,520 Oh, yeah. 159 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:43,080 It's a sweet bit of kit. 160 00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:45,680 Of course, the Americans were playing with these sorts of things 161 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,240 back in my day. 162 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,800 They were a lot bigger, 163 00:06:48,800 --> 00:06:52,680 and noisier and more about missiles than cameras. 164 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,360 But, you know, pretty cool. 165 00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:57,800 No, no, no, don't go down, go up, up, up. 166 00:06:57,800 --> 00:06:59,400 No, don't go down. 167 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:00,920 Go up. Come on. 168 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,200 Yeah. Course it doesn't come fully charged. 169 00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:07,720 Fully charged! 170 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,960 What wrong with a good old triple A? 171 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,440 Ah? 172 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:12,640 If you'd gone to the shop, 173 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,560 you could've had it fixed in no time. 174 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,280 Probably got to plug it in now. 175 00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:19,520 HE GROANS 176 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:23,280 One, two, three, four. 177 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:26,200 Come on, we can do it. 178 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:28,080 Oi! 179 00:07:28,080 --> 00:07:30,840 I counted ten, ten's good. 180 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:34,640 It's so much harder than it looks! Yes, so is your knee. 181 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,480 Are we taking a break now? 182 00:07:36,480 --> 00:07:38,480 Yes, no, that hurt me, too. Did it? 183 00:07:38,480 --> 00:07:40,040 We're both suffering, Humphrey. 184 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:41,360 Stop complaining. 185 00:07:41,360 --> 00:07:43,760 Easy for you to say, you're not the one... 186 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:47,160 Button House has stood on this site since the 15th century. 187 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:50,720 It has entertained Henry VIII and now it could entertain you. 188 00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:52,800 It's the perfect place for your event, 189 00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,360 whether it's weddings... 190 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:55,560 What?! 191 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,240 Ha-ha! You're terrible at this. 192 00:07:57,240 --> 00:07:59,760 It's like watching Jeffrey Archer on Newsnight. 193 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,440 Go on, do it again. 194 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:05,160 It entertained Henry VIII and now it could entertain you. 195 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:08,320 HE MUMBLES 196 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:10,720 It's the perfect place for your event! 197 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,000 It's the perfect place for your event... Yes. 198 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,960 ..whether it's weddings, celebrations or corporate occasions. 199 00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,720 You've come to right to the place if you've come to Button... 200 00:08:18,720 --> 00:08:20,480 You're in the shot. Sorry! It's fine. 201 00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:21,640 He nearly got it then! 202 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,360 This is nice. Thanks. 203 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:25,480 Wow. Are you behaving yourself? 204 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:27,560 Yes. Which one is it? Julian. 205 00:08:27,560 --> 00:08:29,600 That's all I need. I haven't done anything! 206 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,320 He says he's just watching. 207 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:33,840 Erm, can I just talk to you about something? 208 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,200 Yeah, of course. 209 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:36,920 All right, yeah, private thing, is it? 210 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:42,640 Yeah, you take five, Mike. We'll get it in the can later, yeah? 211 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,200 Yes, and there was a big army coming towards us! 212 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,440 Oh, good. 213 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,280 Yes, and we open the new door. 214 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:49,960 Good, we're back in the door shop. 215 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:53,680 Yes, and on the other side of the door is a kingdom of tiny peoples. 216 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,120 Yes, and they make me their queen. 217 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:57,480 Mary! 218 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,760 And, yes, and we are given a drink out of a gleaming cup 219 00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,080 and big plates of potatoes. Mary! 220 00:09:02,080 --> 00:09:05,720 Yes, and the potion is making us all drowsy. 221 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:10,120 Yes, and the little peoples carry us towards their big cooking pot. 222 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,320 OK, Mary, do you want to pass it over to Robin? 223 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,000 Yes, and... 224 00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:19,240 Doctor, doctor, can you help me? Is there a door out of this world? 225 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,360 No. 226 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,040 Aw, scene! 227 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:25,680 Lord love, a scene. 228 00:09:25,680 --> 00:09:28,760 Mary, that's a bit too much imagination, if anything. 229 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,800 And, Robin, you need to work on your blocking, mate. 230 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:33,680 No. No? 231 00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:35,760 So they just ran off with all her money? Yeah. 232 00:09:35,760 --> 00:09:37,280 That's awful. 233 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:40,040 Isn't it? And I was thinking, 234 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,920 like, I, I know that we're this close to making the gatehouse target 235 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:46,320 and you, you have worked so hard towards that moment. 236 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,520 So have you. 237 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,160 And it would be like a nightmare to delay it any more, 238 00:09:50,160 --> 00:09:53,280 but what I was thinking... What if we lend her the money? Yes. 239 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,800 Of course we should. Are you sure? 240 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,680 Cos I don't want to do this if you're not sure. 241 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,800 She's your sister. If it was my sister, we'd do it. 242 00:09:58,800 --> 00:09:59,920 Well, one of 'em. 243 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,440 I love you. Thank you. Thank you. 244 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,800 She's going to be so happy. Yeah. 245 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:08,520 How's filming? Er, smashing it. 246 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,320 HE SINGS TO HIMSELF 247 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,880 Ah. Hello, Katherine. 248 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,000 Everything all right? 249 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,520 Yes, thank you. 250 00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:23,760 Hmm. 251 00:10:26,560 --> 00:10:29,160 I wish I had a photo with Alison. 252 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:31,600 Ah. No can do, I'm afraid. 253 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,800 But...I imagine, if it were possible, 254 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:36,320 then you'd be straight into the hall of fame 255 00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:38,360 with that wonderful smile of yours. 256 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,200 Now, where is it? Where is it? 257 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,240 There it is. 258 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:43,560 Now, come along. 259 00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:45,720 Can't have you moping about all day. 260 00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:48,480 Oh, look, Weymouth. 261 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:49,760 Yeah. 262 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:51,800 Got some happy memories there, actually. 263 00:10:51,800 --> 00:10:54,360 You mean the seaside? Hmm. That's Cornwall. 264 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:55,760 No, no, no. That's Weymouth. 265 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:58,400 No, I recognise, I recognise the pillbox on the rise there, 266 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,560 just over his right shoulder there, do you see? 267 00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:02,360 Yeah, I actually went on manoeuvres. 268 00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,280 First time I got to fire a Bren gun - very exciting. 269 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:06,520 I did hit a seagull. 270 00:11:07,680 --> 00:11:10,000 I still feel bad about it, actually. 271 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,400 I mean, it's the silence after the shot. 272 00:11:12,400 --> 00:11:14,800 One minute they're cawing away happily, 273 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:17,600 the next it's just feathers. 274 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,120 Lucy said it was Cornwall. 275 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:27,880 Yes, so, well, Mike and I have been talking about your situation, 276 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,720 with the business, and we were thinking we want to help. 277 00:11:31,720 --> 00:11:33,880 Oh, God, please don't think... 278 00:11:33,880 --> 00:11:35,360 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 279 00:11:35,360 --> 00:11:36,840 I'm saying we... 280 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,840 Honestly, we've been saving 281 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,560 and we want to invest it in your business. 282 00:11:42,560 --> 00:11:44,360 It's, it's an investment 283 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,480 because we believe in you, and we think it's going to be great. 284 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:51,000 Wow, this is... Are you sure? 285 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,440 Yes! Yeah, yeah, yeah. 286 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:54,880 I mean, to, to be honest this, 287 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,000 this is actually a bit of a dream come true for me 288 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,120 cos, like...I've never had a sister, obviously, 289 00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,080 and, you know, I've always been... 290 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:07,680 ..I was always jealous of my friends who had siblings. 291 00:12:07,680 --> 00:12:10,720 And, you know, my parents aren't around and, er... 292 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,080 ..and so to find out I actually have some family... 293 00:12:14,080 --> 00:12:18,960 ..and the fact that I can help you with something 294 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,640 is just...honestly, honestly, nothing would make me happier. 295 00:12:25,680 --> 00:12:27,720 Sorry, I was going through a tunnel. 296 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:30,480 Lost you for that last bit. Yeah, it...it... 297 00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,360 No, actually, it doesn't matter. Um... 298 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,480 We...we...I want you to have the money. 299 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,960 Surely...that's...enough...mate?! 300 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:41,280 28, 29. Oh, this is so good! Oh! Ah...! 301 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:43,200 Damnation. 302 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:44,480 Humphrey?! 303 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,160 It's the perfect place for your event. 304 00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:50,280 STUMBLING: Whether this is wedding... Ugh! 305 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,280 Ooh! Whether it's weddings, corpers... 306 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,040 ..corporate corcasions... 307 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,080 ..remedy redding... Oh! 308 00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,800 Let's face it, mate, you're just not cut out for this. 309 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,640 Come on, Mikey-boy, it's easy. 310 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,160 It's just talking. I mean, it's my house. 311 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:09,200 Look at it. Button House. 312 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:12,120 I mean, I can't believe it's our family home... 313 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:24,960 This is Button House. 314 00:13:24,960 --> 00:13:27,480 I still can't believe that this beautiful building, 315 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,720 with all its history, is actually our family home. 316 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:34,040 If you choose Button House for your wedding or celebration, 317 00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:38,280 or any event, we'll make you feel like part of the family, too. 318 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:40,080 We'd love to share it with you. 319 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:44,640 That was pretty good. 320 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,560 Should've been recording. 321 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:47,920 Oh... 322 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:54,000 Thanks, Julian. 323 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,960 I'm over here, but you're welcome. 324 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:01,280 Other side, mate. 325 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:04,160 She's a liar! 326 00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:07,000 What? Lucy. That photo on your mirror - 327 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:09,760 she said it was taken in Cornwall, didn't she? Yes. 328 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,000 Ha! Well, it wasn't! It was Weymouth! 329 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,560 The Captain knows it was because it's where he killed a seagull. 330 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:18,120 What are you talking about? 331 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:21,040 If she's lying about that then what else is she lying about? 332 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,600 She's driving us apart. 333 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,600 Well, maybe it was a mistake, 334 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:27,600 or, I don't know, or the Captain got it wrong. 335 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,040 No, but... No, Kitty, you've got to stop! 336 00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,440 You've been jealous of her from the moment she came along. 337 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:34,960 I know, I know that you're finding this difficult, Kitty, 338 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:38,440 but she's my sister and that's not going to change. 339 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,880 It's not her that's driving us apart, it's you. 340 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,600 Humphrey? 341 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:49,200 HUMMING 342 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:50,960 Humphrey? 343 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,480 Oh! Shh! Just hide me, please! 344 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:56,640 Humphrey? Humphrey! 345 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,800 Where? I don't know, just improvise! 346 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,400 Humphrey! 347 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,760 Oh, come on, Humphrey. We were having fun, weren't we? 348 00:15:04,760 --> 00:15:06,800 Humphrey? 349 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:08,000 Mary! 350 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,600 You haven't seen Humphrey's head, by any chance? 351 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:13,600 Yes, and, erm... 352 00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:16,160 He be in the...the world of the tiny peoples. 353 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,920 What? Yes, and he's gone to the door shop. 354 00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:24,720 Well, that is spectacularly helpful, thank you, Mary. 355 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:31,360 Humphrey?! Humphrey?! 356 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:34,160 Well, I don't know what that was, but thank you. 357 00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:35,320 You's welcome. 358 00:15:35,320 --> 00:15:37,000 No, no, no! Take me with you! 359 00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,680 Oh, all right. 360 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:40,200 Oi! 361 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,120 Lift me up! Oh! 362 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:43,560 DRONE BUZZES 363 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:45,480 Right, then... There we go. 364 00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,640 There she blows. 365 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,680 BOTH: Lovely. 366 00:15:52,680 --> 00:15:54,520 Right. Now, I think... 367 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:56,880 Ha! 368 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:58,480 What? No, no, no! 369 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:01,400 It's going to look great! Wait, wait, wait... 370 00:16:01,400 --> 00:16:02,920 Oh! No, no, no! 371 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,400 Stop! 372 00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,400 What's your problem? That's your finale! 373 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,120 Stop, come back, come back, come back! 374 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,120 Well, to cut a long story short, 375 00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,120 apparently, Lucy said it was in Cornwall. 376 00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:16,960 WOMAN SPEAKS ON TV 377 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,360 But... Sorry, Fanny. I've always wondered, 378 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,520 is it not a frightful coincidence that she's always there 379 00:16:23,520 --> 00:16:26,200 at the scene of the murder? Hmm? 380 00:16:26,200 --> 00:16:28,360 I mean, have the police not thought to ask themselves 381 00:16:28,360 --> 00:16:30,160 whether it's more than a coincidence? Shh! 382 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:32,000 ON TV: You, Mr Halliwell, are the murderer. 383 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,920 There! I knew she'd get her man. 384 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,720 Ah, quelle surprise. 385 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,600 Now, what were you saying? 386 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,200 The photograph was in Weymouth, 387 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,080 whereas Lucy said it was in Cornwall. 388 00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:44,800 Now, look, it could be a harmless mistake, 389 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,040 but Kitty rather seems to think it means something. 390 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,480 Foul play? 391 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:51,440 Let me see this photograph! 392 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,120 Alison, 393 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,200 I'm sorry about what I said. 394 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,920 You're right, I was just jealous. 395 00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,920 I think it's so wonderful that you're helping her. 396 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,520 That's what sisters do, isn't it? 397 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,200 So if I can help you help her, I'd love to. 398 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,080 Thank you, Kitty. 399 00:17:15,080 --> 00:17:17,080 I knew you'd come round eventually. 400 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:18,360 No problem. 401 00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:21,200 I love Lucy now and I trust her completely. 402 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,440 Hm. 403 00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,040 And you're certain? 404 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:33,200 I'm absolutely sure of it. It's the pillbox, you see? 405 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:35,600 Now, I remember it vividly. Hmm. 406 00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:39,720 Well, if you want to convince someone you're their sister, 407 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,880 then a photograph of their father is certainly an ingenious way to start. 408 00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:47,600 But is it possible to fake a photograph? 409 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:50,640 Oh, yes, you can do anything with Photoshop. 410 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:53,440 Yes, take it to the photo shop, 411 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:55,760 they cut out the negative and then... 412 00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,440 No, it's computer software. 413 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:58,800 You can take someone's face, 414 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,160 for example, the Leader of the Opposition, 415 00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:04,160 and put it on the body of, let's say, a donkey. 416 00:18:04,160 --> 00:18:06,920 Print it up as a Christmas card, send it to everyone in the Commons, 417 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,200 you've got yourself a Yuletide jape! 418 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,000 Great days. 419 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,720 Let me show you how it works. 420 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,480 Here, don't kick me... 421 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,040 Face front, Mary. 422 00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:19,040 There we go. ALL: Oh! 423 00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:21,600 See? Oh, that's like the thumb trick. 424 00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,000 Thumb...? Oh! 425 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,440 Ha... 426 00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,000 ARGH! Ah! 427 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,640 Oh, for a moment there, you did a... 428 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:30,680 Hey... Argh! 429 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:32,280 Oh, I see, it's just a... 430 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:34,320 Hey... Argh! Oh... 431 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:37,760 Right. So we know it can be done, 432 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:42,040 but where on Earth would Lucy have got a photograph of Alison's father? 433 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,400 That's it! 434 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,760 Down. Keep going. Keep going. A little bit more. 435 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:50,520 That's it! Yes. Yes. Yes. 436 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:53,280 No, no, no, don't do "resume", do "watch from start"! 437 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:55,600 All right. All right. All right. All right. 438 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:57,120 Ah... Yes. 439 00:18:57,120 --> 00:18:59,840 ON TV: Coming up on History's Greatest Plots... 440 00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,920 DOOR OPENS 441 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,800 Oh... Oh, you all right? 442 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,760 OUT OF BREATH: Just been...round the house... 443 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,800 ..chasing a...drone. 444 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:10,160 Do you mind coming with me to meet Lucy? 445 00:19:10,160 --> 00:19:12,200 She says she needs the transfer today. 446 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:13,800 Can't you do it on your phone? 447 00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,200 Well, I don't know. It's, like, kind of a big deal. 448 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,240 I want to toast it with her. Yeah. 449 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,080 Yeah? Good idea. OK. 450 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,440 Rest up. 451 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,360 I need water. I need some water. 452 00:19:25,360 --> 00:19:26,840 It's coming up here. Get ready. 453 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:28,440 I'm ready, I'm ready! Get ready! 454 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,600 It's around here... 455 00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,480 There you are. Oh, God. 456 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:33,000 Where did you get to? Shh! 457 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,080 This is important! We think Lucy might be up to no good! 458 00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:37,320 What? Yeah. Now! 459 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,760 Halt, halt, halt! Pause! 460 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:41,240 Ah! 461 00:19:41,240 --> 00:19:43,160 There. 462 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,000 Oh, no. It be facing t'other way. 463 00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:48,680 ROBIN: But he have same beard. No, it's turned the other way. 464 00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:51,080 But beard is... Not so fast. 465 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:52,560 Huh? 466 00:19:52,560 --> 00:19:54,440 It's all a matter of perspective. 467 00:19:56,480 --> 00:19:59,160 When one looks at the reflection... 468 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,560 ..the face is identical. 469 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:07,040 Ah, she flipped it. Good Lord. 470 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,840 So she saw Alison on the television... 471 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,080 ALISON: It was, um, inherited through my dad's side... 472 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,640 ..learned that she was an orphan 473 00:20:14,640 --> 00:20:16,920 in possession of an impressive country estate... 474 00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:20,320 ..so, with no living relatives... 475 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,040 ..tracked down the address... 476 00:20:23,640 --> 00:20:25,040 Hi. 477 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:26,560 ..ingratiated herself... 478 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:29,080 Do you take sugar? One, please. 479 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:30,280 Same as me. 480 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,120 ..and used a doctored photograph 481 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:34,080 to make Alison believe they were sisters. 482 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,720 Is this when he was living in Cornwall? 483 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,000 Yeah. 484 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,680 Looks like I have a sister. 485 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:42,640 Good Lord. 486 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:48,080 Oh... Which all begs the question - what does she want? 487 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,480 What does she want? 488 00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,760 We have to warn Alison! Yes. Come on! 489 00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:53,160 Ah! 490 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:54,520 Oi, wait, hey! 491 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:57,080 Don't forget about me...! 492 00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,640 GHOSTS CLAMOUR 493 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:00,240 We've got to find her! Kitty! Kitty! 494 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:01,440 Where's Alison? 495 00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:03,920 She and Mike have gone to give Lucy all of their savings. 496 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,480 Come on! GHOSTS CLAMOUR 497 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:10,920 POP MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR RADIO 498 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:12,880 GHOSTS SHOUT 499 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:19,640 DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS 500 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:25,560 POP MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR RADIO 501 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:31,120 GHOSTS SHOUT 502 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,320 No! 503 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,960 This is unbelievable. 504 00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:46,760 You guys are so kind. 505 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,600 I was literally about to lose the lease. 506 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,320 Well, what's family for? 507 00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:52,960 I mean, it's like it was fate. 508 00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:56,160 If you hadn't been on TV, and I hadn't happened to have seen it, 509 00:21:56,160 --> 00:21:58,320 then we never would have found each other. 510 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,480 Imagine if Dad could see us. 511 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,280 OK, so, er... 512 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:08,640 Account name. 513 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:11,520 Should I put Lucy, or.... 514 00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:13,520 ..is that not your real name? 515 00:22:20,160 --> 00:22:21,360 No! 516 00:22:21,360 --> 00:22:22,760 Somebody do something! 517 00:22:22,760 --> 00:22:24,880 We have to improvise! Yes, and...? 518 00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:26,720 Not that kind of improvise, Mary! 519 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,760 Kick me. What? 520 00:22:28,760 --> 00:22:30,320 Kick me. Really? 521 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:31,880 There comes a time when the great... 522 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:33,160 Ah! 523 00:22:33,160 --> 00:22:35,560 Aliso-o-o-on! 524 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:38,920 Oh... Oh, my God. What? Stop! Come back! 525 00:22:38,920 --> 00:22:40,240 It's about Lucy! 526 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,200 Yeah, that's pretty clear. 527 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,320 And we've got your bank details, so I'm sure the police can work it out. 528 00:22:50,400 --> 00:22:51,760 Why me? 529 00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:55,520 Don't take it personally. 530 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:14,520 CAR DOORS SHUT 531 00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:25,240 What a day. 532 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:29,120 Give me a sec. 533 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,080 Take your time. 534 00:23:34,960 --> 00:23:37,520 I'm sorry you lost the sister you never had. 535 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,520 You're the sister I never had. 536 00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:43,880 I want to give you a hug. 537 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,400 You're not going to like it. 538 00:23:45,400 --> 00:23:47,120 Oh, who cares? 539 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:51,840 Oh... 540 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,440 Yes, you're right, that was horrible. 541 00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:56,120 Welcome home. Yeah. 542 00:23:56,120 --> 00:23:58,000 Yes. Welcome back. Welcome home. Yeah. 543 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:01,040 Glad you're back. Thanks, guys. 544 00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:02,200 FANNY GASPS 545 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,600 There's been a murder! 546 00:24:04,600 --> 00:24:06,880 Nobody is to leave this room until... 547 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:08,760 Mike? Mike? Hmm? Budge up. 548 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:13,480 Might be an idea to lay off the Murder, She Wrote for a bit. 549 00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,240 Yes. Yes, I suppose I should. 550 00:24:15,240 --> 00:24:16,480 Mm. 551 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,200 But well done on piecing it all together. That was good, wasn't it? 552 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:20,600 GHOSTS: Yes. Good. Very good. 553 00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:22,240 Truly remarkable, Fanny. 554 00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:27,520 Dinner is served. 555 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:30,880 Ah. GHOSTS: Ooh! 556 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:32,320 Do you like it, Kitty? 557 00:24:32,320 --> 00:24:34,600 I can't stop looking at it. It's wonderful! 558 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,400 Beautiful, that. Marvellous. 559 00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:39,280 A nice, long finish. 560 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:43,120 I'd love that. If only we could actually eat. Mm. Mm. 561 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:47,560 Yes, and... 562 00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:56,320 Mm! That was lovely. 563 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,760 There we go. Are you enjoying your steak, Robin? 564 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:00,920 I'm not... 565 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,720 Yes... 566 00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:07,960 ..and...I very much looking forward to pudding. 567 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:11,560 And what are you having for pudding, Robin? 568 00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,600 Yes, and berries, 569 00:25:13,600 --> 00:25:15,000 yes, and cream. 570 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,680 Creamy berries. Lovely. 571 00:25:20,080 --> 00:25:21,520 Cheers. Cheers. 572 00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,160 Cheers, everyone. Cheers. 573 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,000 Cheers. Good health. Cheers, everyone. Good health. 574 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,640 Down the hatch. Cheers. Cheers. 575 00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,440 What are you drinking? Pint of bitter. 576 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:35,880 You? Cheers. 577 00:25:35,880 --> 00:25:37,920 A nice glass of port. 578 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:39,440 SPEECH FADES OUT 579 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,440 Stop! DRONE BUZZES 580 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,000 Stop! Stop! 581 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,760 Julian, what did you do?! 41020

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