All language subtitles for Bergeron.Brothers.Wedding.Videographers.2021.1080p.WEB-DL.AAC2.0.H.264-EVO-HI-English

[orchestral music]

Provided by explosiveskull
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[upbeat music]

[August] So, we've been professionally
trained wedding videographers

for, you know,
a good while now.

- I'd say a year. About a year now?
- [Flynn] Yeah.

And it hasn't been fun or easy
because it's not supposed to.

It's just been...
it's been tough.

Because, you know,
out of all of the videography

that you can do, and learn,
and go to school for, and become great at,

I'd say wedding videography
is probably the toughest

to really... really break into,
you know.

- Yeah, no doubt, no doubt.
- Yeah.

[August] So, obviously, for us,
the training, it's everything.

[Flynn]
Training is very important.

I mean, there are
no second takes at a wedding.

The training is key.

It's the only way we can
capture every single moment,

and make sure it's great.

[August] Flynn!
Flynn, drunk uncle.

Move through it!
Move through it, Flynn! Come on!

Come on, drunk uncle!

- Stop. Watch out for him.
- I can't see.

- Watch out. Get the shot in the face.
- I got the shot.

Watch, 'cause he's coming
at you quick, man.

Watch out for him!
See, he's got Vietnam stuff, man!

Yesterday, just like yesterday.
Watch your wires. Come on, Flynn.

- So, what are you gonna do?
- It's still under control, Augie.

Yeah, we... how would you tie
that around your arm, Flynn?

- How did you tie the wire around your arm?
- I don't know, I just draped it.

- You're gonna drape wires?
- Yeah.

At a wedding,
with a bunch of kids?

Everyone's walking around.

A little girl's gonna trip on that
wire, and you're gonna hurt her?

You're gonna bust her nose open.

You're gonna break a little
girl's nose at a wedding?

Flynn, what is wrong with you?

- Go back. Do a reset back into it.
- Reset, position one.

Get your head in it, man.
Where are you today?

- [whistle blows]
- Through the dinner crowd. Come on, we got a dinner crowd.

Everyone's up.
Ravioli, ravioli, ravioli.

Come on, lose me.
Everyone's eating.

Come on, double-time...
six seconds, six seconds.

Watch out, watch out
All right, all right.

Watch out!
Old ladies, old ladies.

- Behind you!
- Oh! There it is! Oh!

Going back through the people,
going in reverse!

Watch out, everybody!
Throw it in reverse.

Getting grandma.
Oh! Oh!

- Turns off.
- Two stories!

- Oh! Yeah! Yeah!
- Whoo! Whoo!

- Now that's good right there. Twenty-six.
- Whoo!

I like that, man.

That's how you do it,
just keep your head in the game.

Yeah, that's the thing.

We usually get paid with what
we like to call "vendor food."

It's usually the food they
have on set for the workers.

And, you know, usually we just get
the scraps, like the leftover stuff,

and, actually, August has been
accumulating a lot of this food

for quite some time.

[August] And there's nothing
wrong with that.

- It keeps our bellies full, you know?
- [Flynn] Yeah.

[August] I mean,
with a lot of these places,

we're talking an endless supply
of leftover vendor food,

like rigatoni, and meatballs,
and pasta sauce,

and rigatoni, and spaghetti
sometimes, a lot of bread.

There's rigatoni,
rigatoni and sauce,

rigatoni, rigatoni,
sometimes there's lasagna,

rigatoni, fish,
once there was fish.

Rigatoni, we got rigatoni.

[retching]
We got... [retching]

It's pretty good,
so we'll just save it for later.

Did you tell them
about the rigatoni?

[August] And for desserts,
it's usually cake.

You know, we have
a lot of cake...

white, marble, chocolate,
marble, white,

marble, white, white,
white, white, white...

Again, August, this is
like the rigatoni thing.

You can just say, you know,
we have white, we have marble.

I know you have it memorized
in your head,

but you don't have to list out
every piece of cake we have.

Oh.

This is our little door here.

It kind of divides the rooms up,

give us a little bit of privacy,
you know?

And this is August's bed.

He's got the big bed.

He likes sleeping
in the hammock.

A little fun fact about me:

I... I like to sleep sitting up.

I've always done it
since I was a kid.

And just not a real big fan
of beds.

And...

we go by a two-bucket system
here, okay?

We make sure we got one for our
bathroom, one for washing.

And it's easy to be able
to tell them to apart.

And it's always good...
we go down to the creek,

and we're able to get our leftover
waters and take care of it, and...

Oh, wait, I think the rag
was in the...

Yeah, the rag
was in the right... This is the...

Yeah, this is the bath... aw.

[sniffs] Oh, wait.

You know, it's a garage.

And I'm sure a lot of people
are like, "Oh my God,

you're living in a garage,"
but...

Our subletter/owner,
Doris, she lives upstairs,

so some of her stuff
is still down here.

Like, what the fuck?

[Interviewer] So, what do you
think of the Bergeron Brothers?

[laughs] The Bergeron Brothers?

I get 50 bucks from them
a month.

I think a lot of other things.

But I'm not gonna talk
about them.

You're following us all around.
You'll see.

- [August] The bride! Work on the bride!
- You'll s...

- [clanks]
- [August] Ow! The bride!

See?

[August screaming]

[Flynn]
All right. All right.

Get through the cones.

Here we go.
Ring bearer down!

- Ah! Ah!
- Hey, August!

- My nuts! Oh, my nuts!
- Oh, my God, are you okay?

You're gonna pop
the ring bearer.

- Get off it.
- [August groaning]

- I'm okay. I got the shots.
- You popped this.

Oh, I got the shots.
[groaning]

- [Flynn] Hey, what'd you do?
- Aw, my scrotum. [groaning]

Hit your giggles.

- [groaning]
- Right here, right here.

- Thanks, bro. [groaning]
- Come on.

- Come on. Jesus.
- Thank you.

I think one... one of your guys
has been spitting.

One of your guys has been
spitting on the ground.

- No one's spitting.
- They're spinning on the ground.

- I stepped on some spit.
- Don't be offensive.

You can't spit
on people's property.

- You're being offensive.
- Don't spit on property.

These guys are spitting
in Doris' yard.

- You're being offensive.
- They're spitting on Doris' yard.

You have to learn
how to use tact, okay?

- Don't tell me to talk to people.
- We have guests here.

- They're doing us a favor.
- Don't embarrass me in front of these people.

- Don't talk to me. I'm telling these people.
- Don't embarrass me.

These people are going... they're saying
every time that I have to film a wedding,

they're gonna come out here
and tell me what to do.

- [sobbing] What...
- August, don't. Don't!

- Come on, you're ruining the trees.
- [August sobbing loudly]

[sighs] This guy.

I mean, it's like you push him
a little bit, okay,

and he just breaks.

And I... he's gotta get
used to it.

I gotta break him for real.

So, the decision to become
wedding videographers,

it came up actually right after
Flynn's wedding, right?

Well, you know, I always
kind of had it in my head,

- but it was right around there.
- Yeah, yeah.

So, here I am barely making
eight bucks an hour,

some dive bar restaurant
down the road, okay?

The food that I'm getting
out of that place is scraps.

It's just junk that people are
sending back from the tables.

We're talking gristle, bones,

you know, spit-up from
little baby plates and stuff.

Nothing worth talking about.

In comes this guy one night,
crying and drowning in his own tears,

talking about the thousands
and thousands of dollars

he wasted on his wedding.

So, mainly because of this
wedding videography business...

they're the big guys in town
called Perfect Day.

And so, he hires
these guys, right?

And they're
super professionals, right?

I mean, they were good.
Good-looking guys, right?

Yeah.

[August] Yeah, so, so...

I'm thinking if that kind
of money is going into this,

and the kind of vendor food you're
getting from a wedding on a daily basis,

we're talking mushrooms,
pork roast, roast beef,

roasted potatoes,

ice cream, cookies, right?

Like, top-tier stuff.

It's not all about
the vendor food, okay?

It's about the bride
and the groom

on their special day.

- Just... I can't.
- Wait.

No... Hey, Flynn. Wait.

No, hey, hey.

Hey, hey.

[Flynn] I told you,
I didn't wanna talk about that.

[August] You said you weren't
gonna do this.

[Flynn] Look, I'm not comfortable
with this topic right now.

[August] You wanna talk
to these guys?

You want them to come here
and know our story?

[Flynn] Yeah, well, I didn't
wanna talk about that, okay?

[sighs] The elephant in the room

is that, well,
Flynn's wife, Sherri,

she left him
for the wedding videographer

that he hired, so...

it's not too cool,
but, you know,

that's just life,
it's just how it went down.

But he says that all this,
and with us becoming

the wedding videographers that we're turning
into, it has nothing to do with that.

This isn't some kind
of big revenge plot.

This is for the money
and the food.

[floorboards creaking]

[groaning]

[sighs] Morning.

Cup of joe.

Let's go and see what the day's
gonna bring, right?

Brand-new day.

Flynn! [screaming]

[Flynn] Ow!

- Ow!
- What are you do... What are you guys doing?

- Oh, God!
- I've been waiting all day. What are you doing?

Jesus Christ
of Latter Day Saints, August.

[August] Today happens to be
a landmark day

for the Bergeron Brothers.

Our ad was featured
in the PennySaver.

And we have not one,
but two email inquiries.

They say it takes money
to make money.

Unless you have a cool cousin
who owes you a favor

at the PennySaver.

[keyboard clacking]

Okay, uh, Michele Burns
is interested, okay.

It's 412-555-9830.

[Flynn]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

- [gasps] Wh...
- What in the hell are you doing?

What?

[scoffs] I'm...

Dude! [stammering]

Pre-par-ation!

What has this whole year
been about, huh?

Preparing.

Yeah, but I...
I don't understand.

What do you mean?
What's going on?

Um, okay, how about we book Doris
upstairs for secretary, huh?

So we sound like
a legit company?

Okay, that might work.

What about phone etiquette?

You know anything about that?

Yeah, I've been
on a couple of phones, yeah.

How about we write out
a script

so we know exactly what to say?

I mean, I know I'm the king
of the improv world,

but when it comes to the
professional business world,

that's a whole new ball game,
Augie.

Okay, okay.

You might be right, okay.

It's okay.

Ever since we were kids,

you've always been
this bull-headed guy,

just taking charge
of situations,

even though
he's not capable of them,

same stupid things just come out
of your mouth without thinking.

What have I told you
a million times?

You have to stop

and think.

Okay, sure.

- You're right.
- It's up here.

It's up here.

It's all about preparing.

Preparation.

Preparation.

- Say it.
- [both] Preparation.

Preparation.

You know, I have
a lot of really good ideas,

just sometimes,
some of my bigger ideas

kind of dive headfirst in the shallow
end and snap their necks and die.

But I'd be happy to share some of
them with you out of my sketchbook.

So, here we've got
the turtle-pod.

And here are my hidden
wedding camera ideas.

I was thinking about
just attaching cameras

to things like
Flynn's dorky glasses

and to wedding bouquets.

And I'm currently working
on actual robot women

that we'll attach
the cameras to their heads.

Oh, and here's some other ideas
I've been working on.

You wouldn't understand it, but some
ideas we got going for the future.

That's about it.

[dance music]

[in mellow voice] Hello, and thank
you for calling the Bergeron Brothers.

Your call is important to us,

so, please, stay on the line
for the video...

wedding...

tape...

of your...

your wedding tape

that we will make for you.

- [mutters] Stupid.
- [button clicks]

It's okay, it's okay.
We have more tapes.

Just do it again.

You know, a little more heart.

When you're on the phone
with these people,

it's always a "yes-no, yes-no"
kind of thing.

- You have to be ready for the answers, all right?
- Yeah.

- So, if you ever hear a no, you come back with a yes.
- Okay.

- Anytime it's yeah, then it's, no.
- Okay.

Any nah, or meh, or nah,

you always come back
with a yes, yes, yes, all right?

We're talking babies,
funerals, weddings, parades.

Yes, yes, yes, no, all right?

- Every time. Ready?
- Okay.

- No.
- Yes.

- No.
- Yes.

- Yeah.
- No.

- Yes.
- Yes.

- Yes.
- No.

- Eh...
- Yes.

- No.
- Yes.

- Yeah.
- No.

- Baby.
- No.

- Baby.
- No.

Parade.

Yeah, you know, I've been
trying to kick the habit.

You know...

August hates it.

- He keeps trying to get me to quit.
- [August] Flynn!

Flynn, you down here?

- You better not be... Are you smoking?
- No.

Hey... [sniffs] what is that?

Are you smoking?

If you wanna smoke it,
you better be ready to eat it.

In your lungs
and in your belly.

You feel like a big guy now?

You feel like a ball player?

- You think twice, hmm?
- [retching]

[sighs] Now I feel kind of bad.

[exhales]

[gagging]

- Go.
- [keyboard clacking]

[line rings]

- It's ringing, it's ringing.
- [Michele on phone] Hello?

- Is this Michele Burns?
- This is she.

Please hold
for the Bergeron Brothers.

[August scatting on tape]

[Flynn on tape] Hello, and thank you
for calling the Bergeron Brothers.

Your call is important to us,
so, please...

[distorted]
...just stay on the line.

[Michele]
What the heck is going on?

Hello?

Hi, hey! Is this Michele?

This is she.

Uh, we heard maybe you're
interested in us doing your wedding.

Yes, we're currently looking
for a videographer.

I saw your ad
in the PennySaver.

[whispering] Come on,
this is your part, go!

- Hello?
- [sotto voce] Come on, do it.

Do it, do it!

Say something.

[snorting]

What the heck is going on?

[snorting continues]

[gags]

- [coughs]
- [Flynn] Do it.

[funny voice] Well, Michele, this is August
Bergeron with Bergeron Wedding Videography.

Cherish your every moment
forever.

We'll make sure we film everything good
for you so... [continues indistinctly]

[snorts]

[stammering] Uh, food...
our vendor food.

- Are you gonna have roasted potatoes...
- Hang on one second.

Uh, we're gonna
put you onto mute.

- [panting]
- What in the Sam hell are you doing?

- You are blowing this!
- I blanked.

I was thinking about the food.

I can't remember
your hack script.

We need people to think
we are actually good at this.

[Michele] You know
I can hear you guys, right?

[August] I...

I think she just heard
everything.

Hello? Hello?

Hello?

Oh!

Call her back!
Call her back!

Now, look guys,
you can't call someone over 100 times,

and expect to get a gig.

It's called harassment.

Look, I know, Officer.
We're really sorry.

I just thought we had
our first gig, that's all.

Well, it's good to be
persistent,

though, okay? within the limits of the
law, but you gotta stay

Well, by the law, like, how many
times are we allowed to call somebody?

- Well, I'm not sure, but it can't be 100.
- All right.

- Leave that lady alone, okay?
- [August] Yeah, we will, we will.

- Thank you.
- Thank you... sir, for serving.

[officer] Thank you.

- [sighs]
- This is on you.

- This is on you! We got a record now.
- It's on me?

We got a record.
We could've gotten shot today.

You wanna get arrested?
Do you wanna get arrested?

I've been married six times.

They all died
of freaking natural causes.

Bob was murdered
by an ant colony,

Jim died of a helium overdose,

and Martin got stuck
and suffocated

in a kiddie tube slide,
and so on and so forth.

Nothing surprises me.

Well, what about the other gig?

Yeah, what other gig?

This morning you said
there were two emails.

[gasps] Oh, look.
Okay, look, look, look. All right.

[sighs]

Nope! Nope!

[August] That's a bummer.
I'm...

- I'm sorry.
- On to the next one.

How about, uh...

Yeah, he...
he must've seen the ad.

- [phone ringing]
- [sighs]

You know it's him.

- [ringing continues]
- [Flynn] He's not funny.

- I know that.
- [ringing continues]

He's a certified beef hack,
for true.

But listen, you said you
would never let a stage grudge

get in the way of our dreams
again, right?

- Did I said that?
- Yeah.

[Interviewer] Who's this guy
you're talking about?

- [ringing continues]
- [sighs]

- [Both] Hal Magner.
- [ringing continues]

[Hal on phone] Uh, hello,
Bergeron Brothers?

This is Hal Magner.

I'm desperately in need
of your videography

for a new cooking show
I'm producing.

I happen to have information
regarding a wedding

for someone very close to me

who happens to be looking
for a wedding videographer.

Give me a ring if you like.
Buh-bye.

This psycho comes out
swinging an axe,

you guys make sure you record
everything, all right?

We need evidence.

- Keep rolling.
- All right, go.

- Welcome!
- Jesus, Hal! Oh.

My God.

My name is Hal Magner,

and I'm what you would call
a Jack of all trades.

I'm an inventor, a poet,
a philosopher,

1997 State Jump Rope Champion,

and now an aspiring
television chef.

- [August] Ugh.
- [Flynn] God, more stairs.

How many freaking stairs
you got in this place?

I am so happy
that you could make it.

You're full?

Okay, what's the plan here,
Hal?

Yeah, let's get this over with.

Oh, patience, boys, patience.

Once we wrap filming,
then I will furnish you

with that contact information
you so desperately seek.

You better, okay?

What are you, uh, cooking
in there today?

Oh, well, for today's video,
I had to sit back and think,

what's the one thing
in life I can't wait for?

- What?
- Oh!

Why, being a grandfather,
of course.

- Oh, Jesus.
- I'm leaving.

- Wait, Flynn...
- Jesus!

- Hello.
- [Hal] Hubert?

What do want?

You know the rules, Hal...
no guests are allowed.

Oh. These are
the Bergeron Brothers.

They're much more than guests.

They're mine.

- What?
- [Hubert] Very well.

But if I'm interrupted
just once,

you will unleash the fury
of these two fists and legs,

registered lethal weapons.

- And I'll tell Mama on you.
- [Flynn gasps]

Interrupt what?

If you knew, your life
would change forever.

So, to the kitchen?

[chuckles]

Did we tell anybody
we were coming here today?

Ah, now, clearly,
I do have some time

before I get to be
a grandfather.

I obviously have to meet
my wife,

breed, raise that child,

wait for that child to breed,

and then I can begin the most
fulfilling years of my life.

[laughs]

What... What's that have to do
with the cooking show, Hal?

Will you please allow me

to set up my show, Augustus?

Because everyone
with a grandfather knows

the best thing about them
is their corny sense of humor.

[chuckles, sighs]

Jesus Christ.
Look, we're rolling in here.

- We're burning tape, so let's go, come on.
- [Hal] Oh, okay. [clears throat]

And so, today
I will be preparing

some of America's favorite
corn-based dishes...

buttery corn on the cob,
corn and tomato pasta salad,

corn hush bake,
mustardy grilled corn kabobs,

creamy corn soup,
and a vast array

of fresh and delicious recipes

for whenever you're
up to your ears in corn.

Come on, let's have some fun.

[exhales]

[quietly] He's gonna kill me.

[Hal]
Ah! Nice and full.

Just turn that on.

This is just so enjoyable.

It's very therapeutic,
you know, just...

- oh, just take it, and I just...
- [cracking]

Ooh, that cracking,
that cracking... mm-hmm-hmm...

[sucks in breath]
...in the bottom.

Mmm! Am I right?

I know I'm right.

Don't worry about
getting too much of the core.

That just adds to the flavor.

Oh, yeah. Ah, yeah.

That's... mmm,
that's what you want, mm.

[Hal] Ah!
Really just gotta... oh!

Gotta force it in there,
you know?

Just gotta...

[groans]

[all screaming]

Finger! [screaming]

- [Flynn] Oh, my God!
- [August] What do we do?

First aid kit!
You get the finger, get the finger.

You gotta get it on ice.

[screaming continues]

- Look, y'all. Where's the first aid kit?
- [August] Where's the finger?

What is this?
What is this?

[Hal] You better find it.

- [steam hisses]
- [screaming]

The pepper!

What the hell's going on
in here?

[Hal and Hubert screaming]

[screams] Flynn, I got it!
I got the finger.

Oh, great! Get it on ice.

Ice!

[Hal panting]

[Flynn] Okay, Hal, uh,
let's stick this on there.

- Just try to...
- [Hal and Flynn grunting]

[Flynn whimpers]
You're gonna be okay, buddy.

We're gonna get that finger
back on for you.

- [Hal screaming]
- [Flynn] August, where's the finger at?

Got it.

Okay.

[Flynn] Okay, let's try it.

- Let's do it
- Okay.

[keyboard clacking]

- [Michael on phone] Hello?
- [Doris] Is this Michael Magner?

- Please hold on for the Bergeron Brothers.
- What?

[Flynn scatting on recording]

[Flynn on recording] Hello, and thank
you for calling the Bergeron Brothers.

It's me, Flynn Bergeron.

And August.

Hey, hi, hello!
This is August Bergeron.

You remember, Doc Stackson
High, Class of '01!

- Big Aug!
- How did you get this number?

[forced laughter]

Actually, Mullet, we heard
through the grapevine

that you're engaged
to be married.

- [Flynn] Congratulations.
- Yay!

Thanks. Um...

Hey, did you know
that your old high school chums

just happen to run a very successful
wedding videography business?

And it just so happens
that we were lucky enough

to happen to get in touch
with you just in time

for the solid, gold-medal,
bronze baby wiper,

the dove creamy, dove package,
family, feel,

discount, blow-out,
year-end deal.

It's only available
for another...

two minutes.

- What's the offer?
- [keyboard clacking]

[August] Wedding... stock
price, uh, thing here.

It's hot off the press.

Um... price is...

$19,998.

That's too much.

Okay, hang on.

- The stocks just dipped.
- [keyboard clacking]

We're looking it up right now.
It is...

- [August imitating machine]
- Um...

Wait, hot off the press.

Um, $9,998.42.

Look, guys, I appreciate
you calling, but...

But...

we got you laid.

Guys, that was a long time ago.

I already made an appointment for
a wedding videographer tomorrow.

Well, who do you hire?
Like, who's gonna go...

I bet we'll do
way better than them.

Who is it?

A place called Perfect Day
Video something.

Per... Perfect Day Enterprises?

[Flynn croaks]

- Shit!
- I gotta go.

- Flynn! Flynn!
- [gasping]

Flynn, breathe.

Oh, shit! Breathe!

It's a scorcher.

Oh!

More! Ups!

- Flynn! You all right?
- [gasping]

Oh, no! You okay?

Are you all right?
Are you all right? Are you okay?

It's the glasses,
it's the glasses.

You all right?
Can you breathe?

Do you see me?
Oh, my God!

[murmuring]

Breathe, breathe!

You don't... you okay?
Breathe!

Cold water is good.
Cold water is good.

Okay, okay.

All right, cold water is good.

It's good.

Oh! Oh!

You're okay, okay?

Okay. That's good.

Oh, my God.

You guys get that?

Oh, my God!

You almost flat-lined.

Jesus, Mary and Joseph.

Did I black out again?

Yeah, you did.

It was only, like,
about, like, five minutes.

You think there's any way

we can get Mike Magner
on board?

I don't know, man.
I don't know.

I mean...

he was acting like we never got his
cherry popped in high school, you know?

I bet he wouldn't deny
that fact to our faces.

Face-to-face.

- [August] What?
- That's it!

[Flynn laughing]

What?

[upbeat music]

- [Flynn] Right here, big old dips.
- [August] Big dips, big dips.

Big dips?
All right, got it. Good.

- It's Kenny Woods style. Here we are.
- Cool.

Is this the main road here?

Brake! I'm sorry, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

- Okay, pay attention...
- Switch out the batteries.

Make sure that you have
the right tape.

Pay attention to the road!
Brake!

I'm good, okay.
I'm good, I'm good, I'm good.

[Flynn] Pedestrian,
man checking his mail.

- Do not kill the poor man.
- [August] I got the shakes.

[sputters] I got the shakes
real bad.

Oh, I got the sugar shakes.

- Hold on a second.
- Oh, Jesus Christ!

- Sorry, guys. Sorry guys.
- Sorry, guys. Sorry.

[August] We saved time.

- [music turns off]
- [Flynn] Wait, August, August.

Hey!

August.

And look... under five minutes.

- [August] That's not bad.
- [Flynn] Not bad.

- [August] That's not bad.
- Nah.

I'm not getting back in.
Someone farted in the car,

- I can't breathe in here right now.
- Who farted?

I know it's the sound guy.

- Mullet Mike! Mullet Mike!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Hey, hey!
- Hey, hey.

Mullet Mike. [laughs]

He lost the mullet.

- [Flynn] Looks great, more modern.
- [August] Yeah.

Well, what's going on?

Um, I'm Flynn
and August Bergeron.

We're the Bergeron Brothers,
wedding videographers.

Guys, I thought
I made it clear

that we are not interested
in your services.

We've been doing this for so
long, we know the ins and outs.

We know if you're getting screwed,
so just let us come with you.

It'll be of a favor
for old friends, right?

- Yeah, like an engagement gift.
- No, let's go, Michael.

[sighs]

- Judy Bloomers.
- Uh, what did he say?

Did we not hook you up?

Guys, you know, I could've got
myself laid in high school, okay?

Pfft, fat chance.
With that Mullet, no way.

Uh, what the hell
are they talking about?

[sighs]

Look, you know,
maybe they're right.

Let them go up there with us.
You know, like...

I guess we could use an
insider scoop on the business.

Like, I need all the help I can
get to save a couple of bucks.

We are only here to help,
ma'am.

[woman huffs]

Let's go, guys.

- Yes, yes!
- Yes!

- And now we're even.
- Oh, absolutely, absolutely.

- August, will you go grab my sneaky bag?
- [gasps]

Your what?

[gentle music]

[music continues over radio]

- [woman] Magner wedding.
- [Michael] Yes, that's us.

- I can take you back now.
- Thank you.

And, um, this is
our reality TV show crew.

They're gonna be
joining us today.

And what reality show is this?

[clears throat]
Um, it is called...

Virgin Groomzillas.

- [forced laugh] Of course it is.
- [Flynn snickers]

Follow me, please.

[Chad] God damn it, Keither,
if I told you once,

I've told you a million times,

you gotta make the bride
look the best!

The best!
She looks like shit here.

It's a shitty shot.

I feel like shit
as I'm looking at it.

- Don't you?
- Not really.

Look, in here, and also here,

saddlebags here,
a dumpy ass there.

Fix it, moron!

- I want you to fix it.
- I am.

Oh... [sighs]

Hey, guys.
I didn't see you.

You must be the Magner party.

- [Michael clears throat] Yeah, that's us.
- Great, great.

Oh, I see you brought
the Bergeron Brothers with you.

And a camera crew?

Hey! That's fantastic,
that's great.

Hey, how's the wedding
videography business going?

'Cause... ooh, I heard about
that cooking show you guys did.

- Real blood bath, huh?
- It's going great.

- Money.
- Great success story.

- Good.
- Clients.

Great. That's awesome.

How about I give you guys a quick
tour, show you how the pros do it?

When I got into the wedding
videography business,

there was one common theme
that I noticed missing

from these weddings.

And that was...

good-looking people.

All right, now, I don't want you guys
to freak out, okay, but this is it.

This is the studio,
the home of our patented

facial replacement
and body replacement technology.

Look at this hottie right here.

We can digitally replace
your body

and make you look
like a supermodel.

Seems unnatural.

Nah.

I think her boobs are real.

And then right over here, guys,
we actually have our equipment room.

Whoa, whoa!
Hey, knuckleheads, come on.

That's the top secret,
private, employees only.

Oh! Danny, Bill.

My favorite two dickheads.
[laughs]

How was the wedding last night?

- Totally awesome.
- Awesome.

Spectacular event,
truly triumphant.

[Chad] Rock and roll.

You guys are doing
a freaking awesome job.

Keep up the good work.

They're a little
too Bill and Ted for me,

but they're actually surprisingly
great cinematographers,

and they work for beer.

So, I mean,
that's an awesome perk for a crew.

Who doesn't love an awesome
photo booth at their wedding?

It's a momentous occasion.
Let's get some pictures.

Here, let me show you
how it works.

- Uh, don't go on there.
- Why?

Sorry, some people had
a little too much fun

in the booth last night.

- I haven't had a chance to clean it yet.
- Too bad.

Being a wedding vendor
is just a way to pay

for my schooling.

I'm studying to be
a foreign ambassador.

Hopefully,
somewhere nice and warm.

Like Berlin.

[sighs]

[whispers] Oh, God.

Our newest addition
is our catering service.

We've got the best vendor food
that money can buy,

top-of-the-line chefs cooking
the most exquisite food

that you will ever taste.

little cupcake,
Sherri, my delectable

what do we have
for these fine folks to sample?

All right, today,
we actually have...

Flynn!

- [gasps]
- [Sherri] What are you doing here?

- [gasping]
- [Chad] Well, he's here to check out the competition, hon.

Didn't you know that Flynn was a
big wedding videographer guy now?

- No, I actually didn't.
- Well, he is.

[gasping]

[Chad] Spit it out.

- [groans]
- Oh, oh. Flynn!

[grunts] Flynn.

- Flynn, wait!
- Oh!

Babe.

Well, let's try out
this damn food.

Am I right? [laughs]

[sighs]

I just forgot how beautiful
she was.

- I just froze up in there. I can't explain it.
- Flynn!

How are you?
Um...

What's all this?

Oh, it's a documentary crew.

Just, um, "documentering"

successful video artists
like myself.

That's really cool, Flynn.

I don't wanna talk to you.

Why? It was over
a year ago now.

You broke my heart, Sherri,
all right?

And now you're working
for the guy too?

He gave me some startup money for
my catering business and it just...

it made sense
to combine the two.

Listen, Chad's a really nice,
sweet guy

once you get to know him.

Yeah, Chad Johnson is sweet.
[scoffs]

And I'm a famous basketball
player for the Chicago Butts.

Flynn, I'm sorry.

Yeah, well, "sorry"
isn't good enough, sister.

- I gotta go.
- Flynn, wait.

Just leave me alone!
Forever!

[Sherri] Flynn!

[Sherri gasps]

Dude, what the hell?

[car horn honks]

[Sherri sighs]

[August grunting]

[Michael] Hey, uh, August, that's
quite an appetite you got there, buddy.

Yeah, yeah.

I just wanna make sure
it's good for you guys.

I'm just sampling the best
for the best, you know?

Yeah, okay.

Hey, what do you think
of these tarts?

Eh, you know, I'm not really
a tarty kind of guy.

Yeah, well, you're not really
any kind of guy. [scoffs]

- Can I have a try?
- Yeah.

Mmm.

Kinda peachy, moist.

It's not bad.

Try this one.

- What do you think?
- Mmm!

That's very good.

- It's... it's not too sweet.
- Yeah?

- I like it, mm-hmm.
- Good, good.

- Now, try this one.
- All right, all right, you creep!

- Come on, dude.
- What? What's the matter?

- Is it too much cream?
- Yeah, it's all right.

I don't mind a little extra
cream with my dessert.

Me either.

[August clears throat]

So, if you guys don't mind,

can't let any of this
go to waste.

Uh, anyone seen Flynn anywhere?

Ugh.

They've always been that way.

[jazz music]

All right, thank you.

Mikey, get the prices.

You'll find all of our prize
packages in our brochure right here.

Thank you.

Michele Burns?

I'll take you
and your fianc� back now.

- [Michele] Thank you.
- Burns.

Burns.
Michele Burns, right?

It's me, August.

Of the Bergeron Brothers.
You remember?

- Oh, you.
- Yeah, yeah. You know what?

I'm sorry we couldn't meet
your needs the other day,

but, you know, maybe the next
one, we'll get ya.

I don't think you can meet
anyone's needs, you psychopath.

Word of advice... stay away from
this creep and his freak brother.

Some deals just aren't worth it.

Okay.

Talk about bridezillas, huh?

[laughs]

[scoffs, chuckles]

Oh, look at this shit, August.

There's a comma there,
there, and there?

Oh, God.

Well, see you later.

[man] Oh, hey, man.

Are you guys
wedding videographers too?

Yeah, yeah, we are.

Do you need a sound editor?

This place sucks, man.

Nah, nah, sorry, dad.
We can't afford you, man.

We don't have any money.
But I tell you what.

If you can score some more of this
vendor food, we can make a deal.

You know, we all went
to high school together.

We did?

Holy... holy, crap!
Yeah, yeah.

Uh, Keither, Keither Cannon.

Creepy Keither, the goth kid.

- That's me, dude.
- Ah, wow, man.

I... I thought your eyes
were, like, permanently dilated.

Those were just contacts, bro.

- Cool, okay.
- Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, yeah, if you're
down, then, yeah, hook us up.

Yeah, sounds good.

You just made the best choice
in your life, brother.

If you say so.

Later.

Creepy Cannon.

Unbelievable.

Small world.

Hey, Bergeron. Hey!

- What's up, Mullet?
- [groans]

I know I'm gonna regret this,
but, um...

you think you guys can do
as good a job as these guys can?

Oh, guaranteed, yeah.

'Cause they are a little
out of my pay grade here.

Yeah?

How about
we'll do it for half?

- Yeah, how about 500 bucks?
- Deal.

- All right.
- Yeah.

[bag thuds]

Yeah.
[clears throat] Yup.

You've made the best choice
in your life.

Flynn!
Hey, Flynn, we got a job!

Flynn!

Why do I feel like I just made
a huge mistake?

Shit.

[Interviewer]
Tell me a bit about that

with the Bergeron Brothers.

- What was your excuse?
- Oh. Oh, goodness, um...

I don't like to say anything bad,
really, but they're a little psycho.

I would not recommend them.

[upbeat music]

And I was like... [shouts]

[laughing]

They were so good.

It's really exciting here.

- It's Keither's first day on job.
- First day.

We know he's sleeping
or he could be dead.

He was making some noises
last night,

but it's 5:02, and he's not
up and ready to roll.

There was crying and, like,
weird cat noises and things.

- So, it was...
- Yeah.

- [whistle blows]
- No more rest! Time to get up!

[both shouting]

[whistle blowing]

All right, Keither!
Welcome to the crew, buddy!

Come on, come on, go, go, go!
Come on, man!

[August muttering]

- [Flynn] Drunk uncle.
- [August in deep voice] I've been drinking all day.

- [August continues]
- [Flynn] August, you broke another cone.

I'm going through this
training course,

and it's made me stronger
and faster than I've ever been.

And it's really helped.

- [upbeat music]
- [Flynn] Ring bearer's down!

Ring bearer's down! What are you gonna do?
You gonna leave him down?

To work
for the Bergeron Brothers...

I've never quite seen
anything like it.

[upbeat music]

[August in deep voice]
Where's the bathroom?

[continues indistinctly]

[wheezing]

Good morning.

You look really pretty.

- [all screaming]
- [Michael] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

What are you two...
what are you doing in here?

Get outta here!
Get outta here!

What's with you?
Get outta here!

Oh, my God, this is
totally unnecessary!

- Go!
- I don't have my face on.

- Oh, my God.
- Get outta here!

[August] I just wanted to see
a little bit of something.

We're trying to make them
look right.

Trying to get it all going
all at the same time.

- Just trying to get some sound.
- Gotta be in the right kind of mood.

All right, guys,
stay out, all right?

[Flynn]
Look, we're filming it.

Mikey.

[sighs] Man,
maybe we should've called.

You know, we were
under the impression

that the Bergeron Brothers were
actual wedding videographers

because they told us they were.

We didn't really see the red
flags until it was too late.

Well, I mean,
like, they had equipment

and they seem like
they know how to use it.

Yeah, but, you know,
handling a garden hose

doesn't exactly make you
a fireman.

? You are the one
I always loved ?

? I always loved you ?

? Then you broke my heart ?

- ? You broke it up ?
- [Michael sighs]

? You said you didn't
Like my wiener anymore ?

? You didn't like it
You didn't like it... ?

- Morning, fellas.
- Hey!

Mullet Mikey!

Is everything okay in there?

Yeah, it's okay.

It's just that, you know,

you guys caught us
a little off-guard this morning.

Oh, yeah?

Well, what about your fianc�e?

Is she satisfied?

[Michael and Flynn] What?

Awake? Is she awake?

- Yeah, August, she's awake.
- Okay, cool, let's...

Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
Guys, guys.

I hired you guys
as wedding videographers.

Can't we just
sort of stick to the wedding?

Look, Mullet Mikey, okay?

This is an all-inclusive
package, my friend.

Okay? There's no extra charge
for us being here.

Thanks.

But, I mean, really, though,
thanks for such a good deal, you know?

I really dodged a bullet...
those other guys.

I mean, I don't know
if you know this,

but I'm sort of paying for
this whole thing out of pocket.

[Keither] Do you know
if there's any parade

scheduled to come by
on his block today?

- What?
- For audio.

- No!
- Cool.

Well, let me know
if one comes by.

Parade...

I love a parade.

I thought that the father of the
bride pays for the whole wedding.

You know, like the classic hit
comedy Father of the Bride?

- Steve Martin.
- Classic.

Yeah, I mean, that's true.

It's just that Mel's
been married a few times,

and he said that
he's not going to be

paying for any more weddings.

Look, Mikey, I get it, okay?

You wanna be a man and take
charge of the situation,

you know, show her
what you're capable of.

Sure, Flynn.

We're gonna be here for you
every step of the way, all right?

We're gonna make the best God-darn
wedding video you ever saw.

Ah.

- [August gulping]
- [sighs]

Ah!

Ah!

[mug clinks]

- [clinking continues]
- [sighs]

Thanks guys, okay?

And that's coming
out of your pay, okay?

That's Pier 1.

Fuck.

And make a note of that
for the budget.

- [Keither] Noted.
- Coming out of our pay.

I know dealing
with the Bergeron Brothers,

filming every single moment
might seem extreme,

but I see it as a great way
to capture the early days,

you know, those moments leading
up to that first big step.

Well, my fourth big step.

I was married three times
before this one.

[exhales] Right.

[upbeat music]

[no audible dialogue]

- [upbeat music continues]
- [no audible dialogue]

Sure, it's still exciting
getting married,

even though you've done it
a few times before.

It's like watching
your favorite movie...

even if your husband ends up
disappearing at the end,

or gets drafted to the war,

or his car
falls into the ocean.

I mean, you still laugh
at all the jokes.

Am I right?

[upbeat music continues]

This is our catalog
of wedding cakes,

starting with the most
expensive in the front.

Okay, uh, that'll do.

[Michael over phone] I can't find
anybody to come to the wedding.

Oh, nobody? No one?

Well, why? What's wrong?
What's wrong?

- You don't know anyone?
- I have no friend...

Keither!

Okay, our friend Mr. Mullet Mike
seems to not know enough people

to be able to make his wedding
look really nice and full up,

and it's gonna ruin our video...

it's gonna ruin his video,
so we need you to get

as many guests as you can
to show up.

I'm on it.

[upbeat music]

Right there.
Come up from the front there.

- Just be happy...
- [Melanacia] What's wrong with your face?

- Look at the camera.
- Hold! Hold!

Okay, get that one right there.
That's good.

- Okay, cool.
- That was terrible.

- Try this... hold.
- Which camera am I looking at?

- Excellent, awesome.
- [Melanacia] Is that okay?

We got flowers.
We're good?

Just hold the flowers.
Just get this...

- Okay, you can't take a picture if the...
- [August] Take the picture!

- [Flynn] Okay, boom, boom.
- [Melanacia] My eyes were closed that whole time.

- I can't...
- [Michael] I don't know who I'm looking at.

- It's kind of hard to smile with...
- [August] Okay.

- Hold that one right there.
- Just...

- [August] Hold it!
- I feel like that's in front of my face.

Just smile, just hold quick.

Get this over with.
Okay.

- Hold it, hold it!
- Is that supposed to happen?

[Michael] You know you're...
you're on fire.

[Melanacia] I'm out,
I'm out, I'm out!

- [August coughing]
- [Flynn] August!

- August, you okay?
- [coughing]

- It's on fire!
- I think you got it.

[grunting]

[panting]

[August]
Everyone okay?

You guys all right?

- [Michael] Jesus.
- [August] You guys okay?

[Melanacia]
I could've died.

[sighs]

[sighs] Shit.

[gasps] Daddy!

My Mellybean! [laughs]

There she is.

Mel's father, Mr. Senicci.

What's all this shit?

Uh, this is
the documentary crew.

Oh, so you wasted your money
on camera crew

instead of a half-decent hall
for a reception?

Jesus, this looks like the place

where they used to hold
my AA meetings.

[August]
Okay, there we go.

All right, guys, come on in.

Good, good, good, nice and easy.

Christ, this is the place
they held those AA meetings.

It's perfect!

I can see the wonder in it.

Yeah, I wonder
what that smell is.

[sniffing]

Um, excuse me.

If I may, Mr. "Senick-ci,"
sir, Your Honor, Emperor,

can I take your beautiful
goddess, warrior princess daughter

and sort of walk around
the whole premises,

like you showing it off?

Excellent idea, August.
Excellent.

We can match it up with the
father-daughter dance later.

That's what I was thinking.
See, great minds think on bikes.

Uh... it's "think alike."

You know, not "on bikes."

Are you sure about that?

"Bikes..."
I'll Google it later.

Come on, let's go.

Do you have a decorator?

No, not exactly.

Mel's cousin Annie's
gonna come by,

hang a couple of things up, but,
you know, not a lot, of course.

Looking good.
It's looking good.

So, how long have you been
doing this, son?

[sighs]
Um, skipping?

No, your camera
business thing.

My wedding videography
business.

Oh, like, about
200-300 days now.

[sniffing]
Oh... oh, my God.

That's the smell.
[sniffing]

- [Flynn] Are you sure?
- Yeah.

[Flynn] Wait.

- [sniffs, gags]
- Is that... is that alive?

[retching, coughs]

Okay, yep.

- What do you think?
- Good.

Subtle, thanks.

I get it.

This is your brother's gig,
ain't it?

And you latched on 'cause you're
the little brother, right?

Well...

only by, like, nine months.

Grow some balls.

Take charge.

See, that's what I would do.

Balls.

Just let it go, okay?

[sighs]

I will never let go, okay?

Then I'm going to do that.

I'm going to grow balls
and I'm going to grab them.

"Melanachicia," listen,

I was just talking
to your dad over there,

and he was telling me
to grab my balls,

and I think we just need to be
open about our relationship.

Let them know
what we're talking about.

Wh... what are you talking about?

You picked me, all right?

Now you're stuck with me, okay?

Every turn, every angle,
I will be right there,

with or without a camera.

What's going on with you and Mullet
Mike, it's not gonna last.

I can do better.

Let me take his place.

I can... I got
a video guy already.

I mean, this is why
you chose us, all right?

This is what we're here for.

- [August] Wait! No, wait.
- Get...

- Okay.
- [August] Are we getting married?

Okay, Flynn, look,
you're creeping me out.

Knock it off, okay?

- [Melanacia] Let go!
- Hey, what's going on?

Mikey, get your crazy friend
off of me! [grunts]

- [Michael] What...
- [Mr. Senicci laughing]

How long is this affair
been going on, you Jezebel?

What?

[Mr. Senicci laughing]

[sighs] Oh, my God, enough!

Get outta here, you two!

You've been driving us crazy
since day one.

[sighs]
You're... you're fired!

Yeah, get out!

[sighs] I'm sorry, baby.

This is all my fault, you know?

I thought I was having doubts
about this whole wedding thing.

It turns out these two psychos
are just driving me nuts.

You know, I love you.

- I wanna be with you.
- Oh, baby, I love you too.

Mwah!

That was beautiful!

Okay, maybe we can take it
one more time.

We'll do, like,
an over-the-shoulder type shot,

something like that.

Aw. Aw, that sounds great.

[both] Get out!

[Flynn] Aug, you okay?

- [Flynn] August.
- Hey, guys, how'd it go?

- August.
- What?

[Flynn] What the heck
was that all about?

What?

[Flynn] Um, you lost
your cool in there, that's what.

You lost your cool, Flynn.

[scoffs] You proposed
to the B-to-be.

Well, there's...
there's no rules against it.

[laughs] I'd say it's a
pretty solid unspoken rule.

- Well, I mean...
- Come on, let's calm down.

Let's just go back
to the garage.

Let's do the training,
get ready for the next gig.

What gig, Flynn?
There are no other gigs.

What's with you being able to
say what we do all the time, huh?

Why can't I make a decision?

I don't make
all the decisions.

I just... I'm a born leader.
I just can't help it.

Okay, so why can't I take
the lead at least once?

Okay, fine.

What do you wanna do,
fearless leader?

- What do you wanna do next?
- Okay, well...

- Let's go kite flying.
- Um, yeah, no.

Come on, we need to go back.
Let's do the training.

Let's get back to it.

Why can't we go kite flying?

Okay, one, it's not
windy enough, okay?

B, it's stupid.

And three, we need
to get back to training.

Training,
that's what we do for gigs.

We train for the next thing.

There's no other next thing,
okay?

We're out here wasting our time.

We're barely videographers,
let alone wedding videographers.

So who cares?

I care, all right?

Smart people make their money
doing weddings, okay?

You know that.

Oh, it's the smart people
we're worried about.

Smart people.

Like Sherri?

Watch your mouth, young man.

You watch it.

Is that it?

Is that what this
is all about? Huh?

You blow all our money
getting some documentary crew

to chase us around
like a bunch of idiots, huh?

To impress your ex,
to win her back,

running around dumb weddings,
barely making any money, huh?

So that just by some chances,
she's out there working too,

so then maybe you connect
across the room,

huh? smoking your dumb
cigarettes, maybe in the back,

And then maybe exchange numbers,
and go out to some cool cafe bar

where they play dumb music, huh?

Oh, and then you maybe get married
again and you don't include me?

at the back? and you leave a
little August And you have babies,

That's what this
is all about, huh?

Yeah!

Maybe it is. Yeah, so?

Good God almighty, Flynn!

Unbelievable!

And you drag me around
through all this

so that you don't look stupid,
huh?

Yeah, I mean, it'll be pretty
obvious if I had to do it by myself.

Oh, my God, that's it.

I'm out, I'm done.

I quit, Flynn.

You're on your own.

[Flynn] August.

August!

[sighs] Fine!

Just go fly your kite!

- [gulps, gasps]
- Flynn.

I'm gonna pull the car around.
Music preference?

Look, Keither,
I'm gonna have to put you

on involuntary
permanent layoff.

The company
is experiencing some...

cutbacks.

Wow, that's a bummer.

[Flynn] Yeah, I know.

You wanna get some beers and
hang in the cemetery with me?

Sounds delightful.

I just can't.

We don't have to get beers.

We can just hang
in the cemetery.

It's nice and quiet.

- [Flynn] Bye, Keither.
- Bye, Flynn.

I'll snap you from the cemetery.

[upbeat music]

[sighs] I had the day open,
so I figured I'd just come

and see how things went for my
old pal Mullet Mike, you know?

August?

Is that August over there?

August.

Is that you?

Hey...

Hey, Mr. Spielberg, Steven.
Hey, what's up bud?

You know, I can't wait to make that new
dinosaur action shark movie with you.

I just wanna thank you
for that lobster dinner

and all that champagne and the
naked-breasts women that you gave me, so...

I gotta go.

Actually,
there's a butt hole here

to get the knife
out of my back, so...

All right, ciao, bye.

[sighs]

Hey, Augie.

Flynn.

Sounds like you've been
pretty busy.

I've been trying to get
ahold of you.

Yeah, well...

I see you still have
your documentary crew with you.

Yeah, you know, they wanna
see this thing through,

and I have a feeling
that you do too.

Mm, yeah, fat chance.

I was actually looking
for my dog.

I don't know if you've seen him.
He's really big and cool.

Uh... [sputters]

I was about to get him
neutered, actually,

'cause I didn't want him
running off for some bitch.

[sighs]

Look, I'm sorry, okay?

[sighs] I should have never
used our business

for my love redemption.

I mean, it was stupid
and I'm sorry, okay?

Okay.
Well, I am sorry too.

You know, I don't mean
to be such a ball buster.

Just, there's a lot going on.

And I don't really have
a neutered dog.

[Flynn] Yeah, I know.

Yeah, he actually did run away
before I can get it snipped off.

So, if you see him...

we gotta get him.

Well, what do you say maybe
we head back to the garage,

heat up some vendor food,
ravioli, cake,

whatever you got in the cabinet,

and maybe get back
to planning our next gig?

You know what?
I mean, it sounds good.

Yeah, we could do that,
but we just need to hold off on the pasta.

I've been packing it in these
past couple days, guilt eating.

I had to go see a doctor.

Actually, he prescribed me

with some kind of super...
super blockage breaker.

It knocks me loose real quick,
if you know what I mean.

It's... it's pretty
hard-core shit.

- That's gross.
- Yeah.

[smacks lips] So...

we cool?

Yeah. I...

I missed you, man.

I missed you too.

- [grunts]
- Okay, it's okay.

- Mm
- [Keither] That's really nice.

You don't see guys
hugging it out anymore.

- [Flynn] What? Keither?
- Yeah.

[August] Can... Cannon,
what are you doing here?

Working.

Wait, working what?

[Keither]
The Magner wedding.

- What?
- Magner wedding? He...

Mikey can't afford Perfect Day.

I don't know whatever you did
to get fired,

but her dad knows a guy
that knows another guy

that beat up a guy who owes
money to another guy,

and that guy happens to be
Chad's dad.

So, Chad has to do
the wedding for free.

Man!

You really got to give it
to a guy like Mr. "Senunchucks."

[chuckles] Yeah.

But, yeah, Chad is having me
doing grip production work,

which is more or less
just untangling wires,

and changing batteries out,
and shit like that.

- Bitch work. It sucks.
- Yeah?

Well, I better roll.

I gotta go get Chad
his "frothy" latte.

Him and Sherri are holed up
in the men's room,

not letting no one in,
no one out.

Everyone has to pee in the ladies
room or in the kitchen sink, so...

[Keither claps]

Man!

I can't stand
that Chad Johnson, man.

Can you believe that?

our wedding!
This was supposed to be

God, let's just get
outta here, man.

I wanna get lost
before Sherri sees me.

I'm gonna look like
a real chump.

- Yeah.
- Let's just get outta here.

Hmm.

Um...

That's something, huh?

That Chad Johnson,
he's a real piece of work.

Yeah, I hate him.

Yeah, the way he kind of
swooped in and took what was...

what was ours,
what was yours, you know?

So he can get in there and
do all kinds of weird things

with his high-def equipment

so he could watch it
over, over, over again.

God, I hate that guy.

What if, uh...

What if something
were to happen to him, you know?

Something to throw him off

on this big, important day,

something super gross,

something in front
of our high-quality cameras?

Huh? Something that
we can watch

over and over and over again.

How about that?

I'm not following you.

[liquid sloshing]

- [gasps]
- Here comes the groom.

[both laughing]

Ah.

[upbeat music]

[Keither]
Um, sorry to interrupt,

but here's your latte, sir.

[Chad]
God damn it, Keither.

I wanted this
exactly 10 minutes ago.

[Keither]
Whoa! Jeez, man.

[Chad] Now go get me
another one.

And maybe don't take
an hour this time?

[Keither] Yes, sir.

- Rock and roll, boys.
- [Flynn laughs quietly]

[Chad] Oh, hey.
Where do you think you're going?

- [Sherri] I have a lot to do. I don't have time for this.
- [Chad] Excuse me?

You don't have time
to pleasure your fianc�?

You do know how stressed out
I get, right?

- I... I need this.
- [Sherri] I'm sorry, honey, I can't.

I'm not in the mood for this.

I'm shorthanded today, and I have a
million things to do, and you know that.

[Chad] I'm only gonna
ask you this once.

- Take off your pants.
- [Sherri] No.

Chad, stop being an asshole.
I said "no."

- [Chad] Go off your damn pants!
- [Sherri] Get the hell off of me!

- [thuds]
- [August] Flynn!

- [all shouting]
- [Flynn] No means no!

- [shouts]
- [grunts, coughs]

- [Sherri] Get off of him!
- Oh, you some kind of hero now, huh?

What, you think you can just come
back in here and win her back, Flynn?

- [Sherri] Stop!
- She's never gonna go back with a weakling like you.

You're a little pussy, baby,
mommy's boy, Flynn.

That's how you've always been.

That's how you're
always gonna be.

You and that idiot brother
of yours.

[Sherri] Chad, stop!

You Bergeron Brothers
ain't gonna amount to anything.

I'll make sure of that.
Guess what.

I'll make sure
the whole town knows

what gigantic moron losers
you guys really are!

And they're gonna
remember me, baby,

Chad, as an awesome dude,

doing sweet-ass,
cool-ass things, okay?

I'm gonna be
a goddamn leg... end.

A legend... [groans]

[gasping]

- [Flynn] Did he hurt you?
- No, I'm fine.

Thank you, Flynn.

You're hurt.

- [Chad] Holy shit!
- [farting]

- [Sherri squeals]
- God! [farts]

[screaming]

What was that?
Was that me?

[August]
Yeah, well, back up.

- Okay, okay...
- [Chad] Was that my asshole?

- [gags]
- Oh, my God, he's bleeding!

- [Chad] Who?
- Somebody call 911.

[Chad]
Ah! Yes, 911, yes!

- Go, go! Move, move!
- [Chad] Am I bleeding?

Am I blee... am I bleeding?

Is my butt hole bleeding?

[sobbing]

[sobbing continues]

[woman clears throat]

Wow.

That was a whole lot of poop.

- Did not expect that.
- No.

Oh, these poor guys.

Hey, do you know
what I see here?

Pssh, a big old shitty mess.

Well, yeah,
aside from that, though.

I see a film crew.

Oh, yeah.

A film crew
without their leader.

Oh, yeah.

Okay, okay.

I got this. I got this.

[clears throat]

[voice cracks] Hey, um...
can I get everyone's attention?

Can I just get, ahem,
everyone's attention over here?

Come on up, please.

Listen up, listen up.

All right, listen, guys.

I understand this sucks, okay?

And I want you to erase
your memory of all of this here,

and that your boss almost
forcibly raped his fianc�e,

and sprayed shit all over the
place for you guys to clean up,

and my brother
knocked him out cold,

but don't... just erase
all of that from you,

because even though
your dickhead boss

almost shit himself to death,
we still have a wedding to do.

Am I right?

So, no longer are you all working
for Perfect Day Enterprises.

As of now, you're all working
for me, August,

and my brother here, Flynn,

the Bergeron Brothers
Wedding Videographers.

Sound good?

Now, of course
we're gonna be serious,

and we're gonna get down
to business,

but most important,
we're gonna have some fun, okay?

Trust me.

We got this?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

All right, people,
you heard my brother, okay?

Let's clean
the rest of this shit up,

and, uh, let's film a wedding!

Yeah!

All right, guys, all right.

Okay, come on.
Let's get geared up.

[lighter clicking]

I got you.

[lighter clicks]

Don't worry about it, though.

You know what, Mikey?

Let me tell you what.

You're all right.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm...

I'm all right.

[exhales]

[upbeat music]

Vases down here...
one, two, and three.

There you go.
You got it, you got it.

Here, make that look good.
That's cool.

[upbeat music continues]

- [upbeat music continues]
- [no audible dialogue]

Hey, hey, hey!

Whoa, what's the ratio
all about here, man?

Come on, mix.
Tongs! Tongs!

[upbeat music continues]

Mel! Okay, Mel.
I got you, good shot.

- We need to get this. Does this look good?
- [Mel shouting]

- Ow! It's all right... Jesus.
- Go, get out of here!

[upbeat music continues]

What are you guys
doing in here?

Can I get, like, a minute?

What?

[discordant notes play]

Oh, come...

Come on.
Like, what is that?

Like, why would you
even do that?

[discordant notes play]

[upbeat music]

And track, and track.

And track.

- [upbeat music continues]
- [no audible dialogue]

Right.

- [mouths words]
- [man] All right...

[upbeat music]

[man] Whoo!

I'm actually doing it.

[minister] And who gives
this woman away?

[Mr. Senicci]
Oh, uh, yeah.

I guess that would be me.

Here you go.

All right.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered
here on this joyous occasion

to join this couple
in holy matrimony.

Repeat after me.

With this ring, I thee wed.

[Michael chuckles]
With this ring, I thee wed.

[Melanacia] Okay.

[Minister] Repeat after me.

With this ring, I thee wed.

[Melanacia]
With this ring, I thee wed.

By the power vested in me...

I pronounce you man and wife.

- You may kiss the bride.
- [Melanacia giggles]

Mwah! [giggles]

Ladies and gentlemen,
I am happy to present

for the first time,
Mr. and Mrs. Magner.

[cheering]

All right, we're just waiting
out here for the bride and groom,

and we're gonna blow
some bubbles.

And it's gonna be a nice,
joyous occasion, and, um...

- Oh, wait, here they come.
- [August] Bubbles, bubbles, bubbles, bubbles!

- Thank you, guys.
- [all cheering]

- [Flynn] Yeah, congratulations!
- [clapping]

- [kid] Bubbles, bubbles!
- I love bubbles.

[upbeat music]

[Flynn] Now presenting
Michael and Melanacia Magner.

[guests cheering]

We got married!

All right, babe!

- [all cheering]
- Whoo!

- Thanks for the open bar.
- Oh, no problem.

- That's awesome.
- Yes, sir? Yes?

- [man] Wait...
- [Flynn whispers] Love this! [grunting]

[upbeat music]

[no audible dialogue]

Guys, the cake
was just delivered.

- Great. Awesome. [chuckles]
- Go, go, go.

You know, that's what
I'm thinking...

- [chattering]
- [Sherri] It's doesn't matter.

It's gonna have to be
a short shot.

Look.

- [bangs]
- That cheap son of a bitch!

[Sherri]
What are we gonna do?

Um, you know, maybe we can do,
like, micro slices,

or we could draw straws
and see who gets cake.

That's not gonna work.

Have you seen this crowd?

Well, Flynn...

Um...

[gasps] Oh, I got it!
I got an idea.

Um...

You, guy folding napkins!
Here.

Take my car,
go back to our apartment.

Go inside the cabinet
marked "venue desserts"

and bring back every goddamn
piece of cake you find there.

Now, go!

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go!

That chicken can fly.

Who was that guy?

[upbeat music]

[balloons squeaking]

Je... Oh, Jesus.

Hey, Hal.

Um, are you having a good time?

You...

You beat it, Bergeron.

I'm really sorry about
what happened to your finger.

I... I know it was
really important to you.

What if I give you a chance
to redeem yourself?

Nothing short of a culinary
miracle will help my chances

of getting laid and finding
the grandmother

of my future grandkids.

Culinary miracle, huh?

I think I got an idea.

Introducing our special guest
cake decorator

and award-winning
jump rope champion,

Hal "Manger"
and his lady-pleasing finger.

[cheering]

- [man] Yeah, Hal!
- [man #2] All right!

- [man #3] Yeah!
- [man] All right, Hal!

[guests chattering]

- [Melanacia] I think it'll work.
- [man] I would eat that.

- [Melanacia] A clean piece. Ready?
- [Michael] Okay.

- [Melanacia] One... Be good.
- [Hal] Nice and easy.

- Yeah, no problem.
- Go.

- [Melanacia] Mmm!
- [cheering, applause]

[man] That's nice.

All right, everybody,
it's the time we've all been waiting for,

the first dance
of the bride and groom.

This is it.
This is the big dance.

- We gotta get this.
- Okay, we're good.

We got this.
Okay, you rolling?

[Flynn]
So... come on, record.

Bat... battery's dead.

- Battery's dead?
- Yeah, it's dead.

- Keither, Keither!
- [people shouting]

- [Flynn] Where's Keither?
- I'm rolling, I'm rolling!

[all shouting]

- Drunk uncle! Drunk uncle!
- [shouting continues]

- [Flynn] Come on!
- I got the shot.

- [all shouting]
- I got it!

- Move! Wait, move!
- I got him!

- Okay...
- Holy sh...

[Flynn] Oh, my God,
the camera!

[all shouting]

[uncle]
Get the camera!

- I just broke the camera!
- [August] Get the shot!

Get the shot!
I'm gonna get it!

I'm gonna get it!
I'm getting it!

Ah! Damn!

No... nobody's getting
the shot!

No one's getting it!

I'm screwing it up again!

Oh, shit!

[wailing]

Whyyy?

- Whew!
- [both panting]

- Did I look good?
- Yeah, damn good, baby.

- Damn good.
- Thank you.

Heh-hey! Wow!

- That was fantastic.
- [Melanacia] Thank you.

I mean, I didn't think
you guys had it in you.

- Wow! Really impressive.
- [Melanacia] I tried really hard.

Just... little, minor thing.

Um, we're gonna
have to do that again,

'cause the camera broke and
the batteries fell out of this,

and there were
some drunk uncles.

No, no, no...
no, I don't care, I don't care.

- Everybody, get back to where you were.
- You don't understand.

It took me two months
to learn that.

My friend, Fallon, at the club
took two months

out of her life
to teach me that dance.

- I am not doing that again.
- She's not.

- Mikey, I didn't get the shot.
- Hey, that won't be necessary.

I got the shot.

I got the shot.

I got the shot.

So did I.

I got the shot too.

- [woman] I got the shot.
- [woman #2] I got the shot.

- I got the shot.
- I got the shot.

[man] I got the shot too.

I got the shot.

Wow, that's better than mine.

[Flynn crying]
It's beautiful.

[scoffs] Yeah,
you're lucky, Flynn.

[continues crying]
Thank you, everybody.

Continue on.

[upbeat music]

[keyboard clacks]

[sighs] And that's, uh...
that's it right there.

That's the shot
that everyone wants.

Yeah, I mean, we have
a ton of weddings lined up

and they all want this shot.

- It's like a new fad, they call it.
- Yeah.

Like, Ellen wanted us to be on
her show and some cooking shows,

but we just don't have
the time for it, you know?

[Flynn] Yeah, we've been
really busy.

But now, actually, we set up
about 127 different GoPros

around the bride and groom,
and just capture it all at once.

Yeah.
But this is the first one.

This is the one
that started it all.

[Keither on phone]
Hey, guys, Keither here.

Go ahead, Keither.
This is August.

[Keither] Someone's out back
to see Flynn.

Well, hello there,
Mr. Famous Videographer.

Aw, jeez, Sherri.

I'm not famous.

I just did something really
wonderful for an old friend.

I haven't talked to you
since the wedding.

Yeah, we've been pretty busy.

Listen, I, uh... I just wanted
to say I'm sorry

for everything
that I put you through,

and I wanted to thank you for
helping me with Chad that day.

Don't mention it.

Um... is he okay?

He's all right.

They had to amputate
part of his small intestine,

and now he poops into a bag,
but I guess he'll be okay.

- Ah, jeez, that's gross.
- Yeah. Um...

Listen...

I messed up.

I should've never have left you.

You're a wonderful man.

And, honestly, I just...

I just don't know
what I ever saw in Chad.

I was wondering if you...

if you could take me back.

You know, I was really hoping
you'd asked me that.

Really?

Oh, thank you, Flynn!

[Flynn] Wait, wait.

No, I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to give you
the wrong impression by that.

There's no way I can
take you back, Sherri.

Are you kidding?

No, I'm not, okay?

You broke my heart.

You broke it
into a million pieces, Sherri.

This past year has been
the worst.

You left me
for some giant douche bag

with a big, hairy donger

and big, fat wallet,

a bunch of cool suits.

You left me for him
on our wedding day.

You thought the grass
was greener on the other side?

Well, I'm here to tell you
it's not.

It's not green
on the other side.

It's brown and gross,
just like the bathroom was

when your fianc�
almost pooped himself to death.

- [sighs]
- [sniffles]

Look...

anything in the world.
I loved you more than

And I probably always will.

But right now,

I just need some space.

'Cause I'm really busy today...

maybe you should just
get the heck outta here.

[Sherri crying]

[twigs rustle]

[August]
Flynn, it's a drunk uncle!

Look out!
Get ready for it!

- Get ready for it, come on!
- I got the shot.

Frame it up!
He's turned to the side.

Calm down, sir.
I got the shot.

- Good, good, and set.
- I got the shot.

Good, that's great.

You never know
when he's coming at you, man.

Nice, good shot.
Good job, man.

Pretty good, not bad.

I don't know
if maybe our doc crew...

if our doc crew is still ready.

Are those rascals trained
for that drunk uncle?

Ah... [laughs]
They've been through a lot.

Cool, man.
Good, good, good.

We're good.
[laughs]

Nice.

Whoa.

It's, um... All right.

We're just gonna hug.

It's...

Hey, man, good?

You all right?

Yeah, I think so.

Okay.

Position one, position one!

Let's go, reset!
Let's go, let's go!

[upbeat music]

[upbeat music continues]

[slow jazz music]

Now that she said "I do,"

let the Bergeron Brothers

do the rest for you.

[scattered clapping]

Hello, I'm Flynn Bergeron,

CEO of Bergeron Brothers
Wedding Videograph...

Hi, hello, I'm...
and I'm August Bergeron.

Congratulations.

Our deals are a real...

catch.

We know how important
your wedding is.

We specialize in capturing
every sacred moment for you.

Are you feeling
uncertain or stressed

about all of the big plans
that comes with the day?

Let us carry your load.

We will go anywhere
to capture your special day.

Church, park, pavilion, yard.

We will be there no matter
what, come rain or shine.

Did you say food?

We will help you
with every delicious detail

from the plate to your bellies,

with an unbridled knowledge
of food.

Yes, your wedding dress
is coming now.

Wedding dress is coming now.

Hey, Keither, what's the...
what's the new clients?

Money's coming.

We also offer
the honeymoon package,

where we would join
the newlyweds

and capture
every intimate moment.

So hire us,
the Bergeron Brothers.

You make the moments.

[both] Let us catch them.

[August] Bergeron Brothers
Wedding Videographers.

[Flynn] Call or email.

Master charge accepted.

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