All language subtitles for PE.S05E05.XviDI 2

Well, some couple has a
teenager-sized appetite this morning.

Oh, I gotta get that.

All right. I'm sorry we
can't spend the day together,

but Angie's got me going to
some Mystery Writer's Conference.

I totally forgot about
Angie's obsession!

In high school, she was
so into Sherlock Holmes,

she organized this murder mystery party.

Ended up exposing the English
teacher's kleptomaniacal tendencies.

Oh. Classic Angie.

- Classic why?
- Mrs. Browlings, remember?

The case of the missing cassette player

with your Lauryn Hill tape inside.

- Talk about "Killing Me Softly."
- All right.

If you guys break into song, I walk.

Oh, don't worry. There's no time.

The annual Mystery Writers'
Association Conference

starts in half an hour.

Tell me again why I'm
going to this thing?

- Arm candy?
- No, to help sleuth out who invited me.

And take a video of me kicking their ass

if it turns out to be a stalker.

Yeah, I'm gonna go with arm candy.

I have the entire weekend scheduled

to maximize time and fun.

First, cocktail reception.
Drink drink, mingle mingle.

Cozy up to the host,

my favourite writer, Ms. Deedee Friars.

Then, a very interesting panel

on modern trends in investigating.

OK. Just promise me you'll stay safe?

Dad, will you tell her?

- Our job's not dangerous.
- It's not dangerous.

- Well...
- Thanks, Dad. Super helpful.

And I thought dealing
with teenagers was tough.

- Oh, speaking of.
- Oh, wait, wait!

I have something for you.

Here you go.

Um.

You've met me, right, Don?

Purple asters! These are
great pollinating flowers.

Bingo! Jules and I are
giving them out all day.

You are saving the parkette

- and making the neighbourhood beautiful.
- Jada.

You get me.

Give me.

I will plant yours at the school.

Who don't you get?

- I got it.
- Thanks.

- What's with the giant bag?
- What are you talking about?

It's a perfectly normal-sized purse.

Hello. I'm Timothy Burns.

- Mr. Burns. Here we are. Enjoy.
- Thank you.

- Welcome.
- Thank you. Angie Everett. Matt Shade.

Ah.

Your roles for the
afternoon's murder mystery.

Thank you, sir.

Ooh! I'm playing "Tippy Westwood Wagner,

a wealthy socialite." I
like where this is going.

"Recently married to Roland Wagner,

the mischievous playboy."

Sounds like the kind of guy
who'll sweep you off your feet.

Would you like the sweeping
to commence now or later?

You're my mischievous playboy?

I always hoped I'd marry well.

Thanks.

You know...

... my dad gave me my first
mystery novel when I was 15:

Murder on the Orient Express.

I've been reading them ever since.

That's Tiffany May! She
writes Victorian thrillers.

Well, she wrote one Victorian thriller.

We're still waiting for the next one.

Maybe she invited you to this shindig.

Shade, you're supposed to be helpful.

You know, you're right.

It's probably someone who knows you

and knows your love of mystery novels.

- Well, obviously!
- Perhaps a former... client,

a colleague, a jilted lover,

or perhaps... all three.

Roland, you're rambling, dear.

Well, hey.

Tex.

- What are you doing here?
- Surprising you.

- I hate surprises.
- I know that,

but this one comes with
mystery writers, so...

I see you brought Shade.

Ah. No offence taken.

- Heh. Good to see you, man.
- Yeah, you too.

Hey, don't take this the wrong
way, but, uh, why are you here?

Oh, I've been consulting
on a few mystery novels

in the last year or so. One
of the authors I work with

asked me to speak on a panel.

Knowing how much Angie
loves mysteries...

You had them invite me.

- Well, it's not a big deal.
- No, it's a huge deal.

Actually, I mean... especially after...

I went home to Seattle, and
you never called me back?

Oh, so we're not gonna
tastefully ignore that elephant.

No. No, where's the fun in that?

Who could use something
a little stronger?

I know I could.

Oh. You have to meet him.

- Oh. Introduce me?
- Yeah, I will.

- Oh, this way.
- Oh! There's Tex, my favourite consultant.

- Deedee Friars.
- Hi.

I'm... so... and I can't...

Deedee, let me introduce
you to Angie Everett.

She is a brilliant private investigator.

- Oh.
- Sometimes, I can even form sentences.

This is Eve Harridan. Her
debut young adult novel

isn't on the shelves
for another two weeks,

and she's already got a movie
deal and a North American tour.

It's going to be a bona fide hit.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

I'm reading a chapter of
my book in front of a room

of basically everyone
who's ever inspired me.

Not stressful at all.

If I don't throw up,
it'll be a raging success.

- I always try to sit in the back.
- Excuse me.

- Deedee?
- Mmhm?

- Do you mind signing something for me?
- Absolutely.

- Aw, this is one of my faves.
- Heh. Maybe...

- more than one?
- Oh, sure.

I can do a couple, yeah. Oh, three.

Four.

It's like the never-ending... book bag.

This is like a box set.
You've got all of them.

Hey, guys. What's going on?

Oh, I just got, like, five books signed.

- That's Percy Voss.
- That name sounds familiar.

He wrote The Constitutional Crisis,

Washington Warrior, Delta Protocol.

Oh, Delta Protocol. I loved that movie.

- Delta Protocol 2, not so much.
- Oh, I couldn't agree more!

3 and 4 are killer, though, right?

- 3 and 4 were unbelievable!
- I'll have you know,

fanboys, that all of those movies

are based on Percy's novels, and that?

That is his wife, Helen Voss,

the true crime writer of our time.

Yeah, she's the one that helped
put away that serial killer.

- Who was it?
- The Seattle Strangler.

Trapped him six months ago,
and he's not the first killer

- she helped put behind bars.
- Writing is a...

tactile experience, the
weight of the typewriter,

the bounce of the keys,
the swoosh of the slide.

It's how my characters speak through me.

Although, of course, if
I had my wife's talent,

I'd only need a scrap of paper.

Honey, you're embarrassing me.

Now, as for the plot,

- I like to write...
- Oh, please.

- So pretentious.
- He's a genius.

- Excuse me, Angie?
- I'm not taking photos.

- Eve, is everything OK?
- If you really are a brilliant private investigator...

I think I need your help.

I came into my room and found this.

"Your rise is over. There's
only room for one at the top."

Wow. Talk about a cliff hanger.

Can you think of anyone that would
want to threaten you in such a...

unique way?

Only one? Everyone here hates me.

- Everyone?
- I know it sounds dramatic, but it's true.

My book is getting a lot of buzz.

I mean, a movie deal is like
the holy grail for authors,

and nobody here thinks I deserve it.

And why the axe?

My book is about a woman who solves
mysteries in a dystopian world.

Her primary weapon is an axe.

So this is a message from
someone who read it, but...

Deedee said it wasn't out yet.

The only eyes on it have
been industry insiders.

- Are any of them here?
- I sent it to Helen Voss.

But she writes true crime, not YA.

Well, I was her
assistant for three years.

I was hoping she'd write
a blurb for the back cover.

- And?
- She wouldn't do it.

I was mortified.

- I should've known.
- And why is that?

Well, she blew her lid
when I quit working for her.

She called me selfish and ungrateful.

Sounds like someone has an axe to grind.

I promise you, we'll get
to the bottom of this.

- I'm gonna call Zoe.
- All right.

- Meet you at the bar?
- Sure.

OK.

Angie! Heh. It's Saturday.
You gave me the day off.

I was just coming in to grab
that bag of chips you never eat.

- Lucky me.
- I'm practically out the door.

Oh, come on, Zoe. We need your help.

You can have Monday and Tuesday off.

And... lunch is on me.

- What do you need?
- Whisky neat.

Thanks.

I'll take one of those.

So why does Angie have her work face on?

That's a funny story. We've
been here all of, what,

45 minutes, and already we have a case.

- How is that funny?
- Well, you'd think they'd hire you,

seeing as they've known
you longer than an hour.

I mean, it's not ha-ha funny,
but... it does make me chuckle.

Well, they're probably just
trying to give me a break,

- since they're constantly calling me to consult.
- Mmhm.

I can't tell you how many
bestsellers I've worked on... four.

So you really came all
this way just to network?

You sure it doesn't have something
to do with a mystery-obsessed PI?

How are Don and Jules?

Helen's over there.
We need to talk to her.

If she's pissed at Eve for quitting,

then maybe she wants to rattle
her before her big reading.

Plus, she's one of only a few
people who know about the axe.

Yeah. Sorry, Tex. Duty
calls. Catch you later?

So... Tex.

- What?
- I know, it's none of my business.

No, there is no business.

Oh, I don't know if Tex
sees it the same way.

You weren't gone five minutes
before he was asking about you.

He's an investigator. He's
interested in the cases of...

you know, investigators.

Why? What'd he say?

Oh, there she is. Follow my lead.

Ahem.

Apparently... Eve Harridan's
novel isn't just a smart, edgy

Hunger Games. It's a
modern treatise on how

Gen Z's contribution to future society

- will outweigh any other generation.
- Heh.

Sorry. I don't mean to
eavesdrop. Little advice?

Take all press releases
with a grain of salt.

- That doesn't sound good.
- I've read the book.

It's feminist dystopian drivel.

Wow, that's a harsh review.

Honesty isn't cruel.

Something that's hard to
teach young grasshoppers

- whose skin is as thin as their talent.
- Huh.

- She worked for you?
- Heh.

You give an up and comer a break,

and they treat your office and
your resources like their own.

You're gonna do that, at least
come up with an original idea.

Yeah. Millenials.

I just hope she doesn't go
the way of Stephanie May.

And what way is that?

It's been four years since her
first novel and still no follow-up.

Oh. Some case of writer's block.

That's the problem
with these young pups.

They write one book and
think they're Truman Capote.

Now, her publisher's focused on Eve

while Stephanie gets
shoved out the door.

- Metaphorically speaking.
- They're dropping her?

They're demanding she return the advance

she got after her first book...

which she spent on a house while
the ink on the cheque was still wet.

- Rookie mistake.
- Rumour has it

she can't pay off the
mortgage or the advance.

But you didn't hear that from me.

So maybe, jealous and desperate,

Stephanie puts the note in Eve's room

to try to mess up her reading.

And then, if it goes badly, Eve's
not their publisher's golden child.

And there she is. You got this?

Yeah, piece of cake. Stephanie May!

- Oh!
- I am your biggest fan.

Seriously, I've read
Steampunks Loose six times.

Angie, you're embarrassing yourself.

- If you do this at Eve Harridan's reading...
- Oh, I won't.

She's no Stephanie May.

Gosh, that's kind of you to say,

but I've heard good
things about Eve's book.

Well, her publisher is certainly
laying out the red carpet for her.

She can't be good enough
for all this fanfare.

Oh, I've met her once or
twice. She's seemed lovely.

Whatever. Please, just tell me

that you're working on your second book.

Well, your wait is almost over.

I am just putting the finishing
touches on my latest endeavour.

I'll be announcing it
at the closing party.

Is it another Victorian murder?

It is the second in
the Steampunk Series.

Our heroine, Chastity
Prescott, investigates a series

of supernatural murders
in Victoria-era London.

That sounds super exciting!

Maybe people will
finally shut up about...

Sorry.

I see you've heard the rumours
about my advance. That's... it's OK.

As John Irving wrote,

"Rumours aren't interested
in the unsensational story.

Rumours don't care what's true."

Eve.

Please, tell me you found something.

Uh, well, we spoke to Stephanie May.

She's written her follow-up novel,

and only had nice
things to say about you.

And we talked to Helen.

I wouldn't ask her for any more favours,

but she doesn't seem like a threat.

Any chance this is hazing?

You know, from the old guard to the new?

I don't know. Like, I guess?

The, uh, panel's about to start.

We'll keep an eye on you,
make sure nothing happens.

Now, Tex, we have a quote
of yours here that says

your number one piece of
advice is to make notes.

I wanna watch this.
I'm gonna take a seat.

- OK.
- OK, I think we're gonna need to hear that story.

Well, the case rested on a
licence plate, and I was young,

- and I thought I'd remember it.
- Mmhm.

But it took an extra
week to find the guy

- because I didn't write it down.
- Oh.

Lesson being: always take notes.

That was rude.

Yeah, but not criminal.
I'll keep eyes on Eve.

- You wanna do a lap?
- Sure.

- You mean one of the mistakes that I made, or...
- OK.

Um, a big one for me would be listening

and not just hearing the
words that people are saying,

but listening for the words
they might not be saying.

- Mmhm.
- Did you hear Topher got a new agent?

Like that will help him.

Well, speaking as a
world-renowned expert

- who doesn't make mistakes...
- OK.

... I'd say the biggest blunder

is not checking for
prints on everything.

Apparently, Eve Harridan's
movie deal is seven figures,

- and the book hasn't even come out yet.
- It's pure luck.

I mean, how good can it be?

I guess we'll find out at her reading.

- ... forensic expert.
- Well, you'd think so, Deedee,

but I've seen experts completely ignore

high-contact area for fingerprints.

People touch a lot more than they
think they do, even criminals.

- It would be criminal...
- Well...

unless cattiness is a
crime, I got nothing.

... favourite, most exciting,
most memorable case has been?

And don't spare us any dirt.
I want every little detail.

I wish I could regale
you with some high drama,

but, uh, the majority
of cases that PIs get are

- tax fraud and infidelity.
- Well, maybe for him.

Oh, look at Shade throwing shade.

OK, I'm gonna corner you,

and you're gonna have to
give me some juicy details.

- I've got some juicy bits!
- But, you know what, we don't have any time,

so sadly. Thank you so much,
both of you, for being here,

and for giving us something
to incorporate into our work.

Yes.

And now, it's time for
the murder mystery game.

You may now all open up your envelopes

that you received when you
first arrived. In there,

you'll find your character,
storyline and clues.

And now, we'll find
out if you're as good

at being detectives as
you are at writing them.

In the next 30 minutes,
one of you will die.

Who will it be?!

And who will solve the
case? OK. Enjoy yourselves.

Where's the butler?

I must discuss my
missing pearls with him!

- I need a drink.
- Yeah.

Ah, Mrs. Westwood Wagner,

my lovely wife, can I get you a drink?

Please do.

I need to speak with you. Privately.

We've been dancing around
this for far too long.

This time, we're finally
honest with ourselves, and him.

- Honest about what?
- Us.

I mean, it's finally
time he knows the truth.

I... I don't even think
I know the truth...

I know I'm not anything but
a poor stable boy, Tippy,

but those nights we spent together
were the best nights of my life.

- You're in character.
- Yeah. What did... what did you...

- No, no, no. Never mind.
- Honey,

you've got to keep your eye on this man,

or someone's gonna come
along and steal him.

Ah, nothing could come between
me and my lovely wife, Tippy.

Oh, Roland, darling, I
hate to break it to you,

but I'm having an affair
with the poor stable boy.

Ooh, a love triangle! How delicious!

And here I am, just a common harlot.

What? So soon? God, I...

I didn't even get to
drunkenly accuse anyone yet.

I'm supposed to be the first victim.

Helen's always stealing my spotlight.

She probably just fainted.

She's really dead.

Looks like poison.

I think Helen Voss was murdered.

OK. Can you bag that
and take that to the lab?

So... the writer in the
ballroom with the poison.

Just like the game.

You're right, that's inappropriate.

But I do think you're
right about the poison.

We just won't know what kind
until the coroner examines her.

I can tell you right now.

See the bleeding along the gums?

That's a classic sign of
rodenticide. Rat poison.

Sir, can you step away from
the body? How'd you get in here?

I'm Timothy Burns, forensic expert.

OK.

Oh, uh, no! You're gonna have
to put that phone away, sir.

This is the first time I've
been around the murder part.

Helen was a true crime
writer. She'd understand.

OK. Well, you may have just compromised

this investigation and
contaminated the body, so.

- I'm available for hire.
- Oh.

MY GOD! HELEN!

I've written a thousand deaths...

but I've never truly understood
the meaning of the word loss.

I'm very sorry for your loss, sir.

Can you tell us where you
were at the time of the murder?

Uh, I, uh...

... I was in my suite,
doing an interview.

Can you think of anyone who
might've wanted to kill your wife?

Well... when Helen was writing a book,

she talked to killers,
criminals, witnesses.

But I can't think of any recent threats.

How could this have
happened? How is she just...

- Oh, no!
- Actually, sir,

you can't touch that. That's evidence.

She bought it after her
first book was published.

We'll get it back to
you as soon as we can.

Wait.

Where have they taken her?

HELEN? HELEN!

HELEN!

So I have to get statements
from all the writers,

uh, and I've told
everyone they can't leave

the premises because,
technically, they are all suspects,

which seemed to excite them, so...

that's strange.

I saw Tex was in there. He's
back in town? That's fun!

Or not. Um...

OK. Well, I'm gonna need statements
from both of you, so stick around.

Maybe that note was meant for Helen

and just ended up in the wrong room.

- No. That axe was definitely meant for Eve.
- Yeah.

Danica needs us on this case.

Well, she did tell us to stick around.

I'm gonna go talk to that waiter

that was handing out
the champagne glasses.

- Maybe he knows something.
- OK.

So nothing out of the ordinary?

- No new faces?
- No. Nothing, man.

- Nothing.
- Hey!

Hey!

Are you trying to horn in on our case?

Says the guy that's
five minutes behind me.

Hey, guys, do I need to stay here?

Yes.

Look, given the high-profile
nature of the case,

I figured it required someone
with a background in policing.

Oh, not that having a background
in wraparound goals isn't useful.

Are you really trying to
steal a murder case from Angie?

I don't know if it's
technically Angie's case.

Oh. I look forward to
watching you tell her that.

Good point. Work together?

Sure, what the hell.

All right, kid, let's
start with your name.

- David. David Marks.
- So, David,

Helen Voss took a drink
from a glass you served her

- right before she collapsed.
- A poisoned glass.

Look, I don't take drink orders, man.

She, uh, picked a
random glass off my tray.

- I don't even pour them.
- Who does?

I don't know. I pick a tray of
drinks from the bar, circulate,

- bring the empty tray back.
- You sure about that, David?

- Yeah.
- 'Cause we don't like being lied to.

- Isn't that right, Tex?
- No, we do not, Shade.

Look, guys, I'm not lying.

The tray was sitting there
10 minutes before I got it.

As far as I know, anyone
could've poisoned it.

All right. Having been
to a lot of these events,

I know that waiters hear and see things.

Yeah. People think we're
not listening, but we are.

Did you hear or see anything
that we need to know about?

About that dead woman?

Uh, she was talking to
this weird forensics guy.

Timothy. What were they talking about?

I don't know,

but I could tell it was a close
conversation, if you know what I mean.

I can't put my finger on it, but
I know that waiter from somewhere.

Deedee told me the Vosses
have a jealous housekeeper.

- I've got Zoe looking into it.
- We didn't get much out of the waiter.

We? Tex, you're not trying
to steal my murder case.

Look, Shade wasn't sure he
could handle the witness,

- so he asked for my help.
- What?! I took pity on you and let you help!

OK, boys! Focus.

Right. This David Marks guy,

he says he saw Helen and Timothy in
a quote unquote close conversation.

I saw them talking too. It looked tense.

- Lovers' quarrel?
- If Helen and Timothy were having an affair,

maybe... Timothy got jealous when he saw

Percy talking about how great
Helen is and how much he loves her?

So, in a jealous rage, he poisons her.

That would explain why he was
so eager to get to her body.

To cover up the evidence,
which he'd know how to do.

He also could've written
that note to cover his tracks.

I got this one.

Coming?

Ouch.

An affair? That's absurd.

A witness saw you two engaged in
a pretty intimate conversation.

I'm told I stand too close to people.

- You do?
- I saw the same conversation,

- and it did seem impassioned.
- Not in that way.

Care to enlighten us?

I've been Helen's forensic
consultant for years.

After all, I am a world-renowned...

- Forensics expert.
- Yeah. We got it.

People think she does
all the work on her own,

but that's entirely false.

I examine the forensics.

I explain the science,

without which no case of
hers would ever be solved.

Then why the argument?

After the Seattle
Strangler went to prison,

because of my work, I pitched a
book about the crime's forensics,

which Helen knew I was doing,

and then added a chapter to her book.

The forensics of the
Seattle Strangler case.

Yes! And the worst part is...

she didn't include me
in the acknowledgements!

No thank you, no nothing!

- That's cold.
- That's Helen.

- So you had motive.
- I was upset,

but not enough to kill her. Especially
in such a pedestrian way. No.

What you saw was me quitting.

She would never have
been able to investigate

or write anything without me.

So, if anything, she
had reason to kill you,

not the other way around.

As we say in the forensics
world, that is accurate.

Could we see the photos
you took of the body?

Hm.

Well... yes.

What's that on her index finger?

Looks like the same
irritation as around her mouth.

Rat poison!

But why in the shape of a tiny
triangle? What could've caused that?

And how did it get on her finger?

If we can figure out what caused
the pattern on Helen's finger,

it'll point to the actual method of
poisoning and, hopefully, who did it.

- Hey, Jada.
- Matt.

I'm so glad you picked
up. Are you all right?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Why?
- Well, the murder at the Mystery Writer's Conference

- is all over the news.
- The murder's all over the TV.

No, we're fine. Nothing to worry about.

- Actually, we're helping out.
- Well, I should let you go.

- Stay safe.
- Yeah, all right. I'll see you later.

Hey, Zoe. What do you got?

A week ago, Helen filed
a lawsuit against Eve.

Turns out Eve wrote her
book while working for Helen.

So Helen's arguing that Eve's book
actually belongs to her company?

- Exactly.
- If Eve lost the lawsuit,

she'd lose the rights to her
book, along with her movie deal,

- fame and the money. Damn.
- What?

Looks like our client
might've killed Helen.

You know, you could let me use
that thing every once in a while.

Oh, like last time, when you got
frustrated and broke the doorknob?

I got us in the room, didn't I?

Just see if there's anything
here that points to Eve.

You know, there's no way Eve did this.

She's young. She's got her
whole life ahead of her.

Aw, Matt Shade, swayed by a pretty face.

Oh, please. I never listen to you, do I?

Hey...

Check it out.

What are you doing in here?

Why are you looking at me like that?

Because we found this...

and that makes you
our number one suspect.

Tell me the truth.

You wrote that yourself.

No! Why would I do that?

To throw everybody off.

I mean, you knew Helen
didn't like your book.

She was your mentor.

She never respected you.

And now, she was going to sue you.

- Ruin your life.
- Yes.

So you killed her!

Is Danica being good cop and bad cop?

It would appear that way.

She was revered, but
she wasn't well liked.

Seriously, it could have been anyone.

Did we misread her?

I mean, the evidence against
Eve is pretty damning.

She could've written
the note to throw us off.

We tested the poison in Helen's system,

and it matches the rat poison
that we found in your room.

- I don't know how it got there.
- OK.

- I shouldn't have hired those guys.
- Hey!

- We did get her arrested.
- Fair.

OK. We'll keep her as a client, but
if we find out that she did it...

I'll tell Danica myself.

What's interesting is that
we tested Helen's glass,

and we found no trace of rat poison.

So where did it come from, Eve?

I don't know!

Based on the photo of Helen's finger,

it's obvious that whatever poisoned
her was something she touched.

Just because you found the rat poison,

that does not give you
access to everything.

I'm the detective here.

And this... is a courtesy.

- And so appreciated.
- Just be quick.

- This is her purse and all of its contents.
- OK. We got the purse...

and cell phone, some keys.

- Breath freshener, Sharpie...
- This is it.

Breath freshener.

The top of the spray bottle has
an indentation of a triangle.

OK. The poison came from this.

I'm gonna take this to be tested.

This does not exonerate your client.

Eve was Helen's assistant.
She would've known...

how frequently she
used the breath spray,

and you both found the
rat poison in Eve's room.

So Eve is going to remain
our primary suspect. Just...

OK? I'm just letting you know that.

How'd it go with the housekeeper, Zoe?

- She's visiting her family in Guam.
- Oh. Hold on.

Hey, Tex. I'm with Shade. I'm
just patching you in with Zoe.

Ooh! Sexy Texy's back in town.

- Hey, Zoe. Uh... I can hear you.
- Ahem.

Hey, Tex!

I thought that waiter,
David Marks, looked familiar,

so I put in a call to
a contact who worked

the Seattle Strangler,
aka Peter Tamper, case,

and guess who has a
son named David Tamper?

I'm gonna send you a photo right now.

- I've seen this photo.
- It was everywhere.

That's his son in the house.

- He's 18 here, but... look familiar?
- That's the waiter, David!

OK. You guys go talk to him again.

I'm gonna stay here with Eve.

We got her into this
mess. Let's get her out.

- David Marks?
- Or should we say David Tamper?

I guess I should've told you.

Why didn't you tell us that, David?

My father's a murderer. I don't
like to advertise that we're related.

And yet, you had no
problem getting your revenge

on the woman who put
your dad behind bars.

- What? No.
- You expect us to believe

it's a coincidence that
you're working this event?

- No. I mean... I mean, yeah.
- Which is it, David?

Look, I just wanted to talk to Helen.

I knew she was writing a book
about my dad and his case.

My father...

he deserves everything he gets.

But me and my mom...

we had nothing to do with it.

Matter of fact, we had
no idea what was going on.

And I want the world to know that.

You wanted Helen to tell
your side of the story?

Yeah. She gave me her cell phone number.

We were gonna set up an interview time.

That's the card.

Why would I kill the only person

who would give me and my mom a voice?

Turns out David's a victim
himself, not a killer.

And there isn't any evidence
connecting him to the murder.

You guys could've saved
yourselves a lot of time

if you'd listened to
me, the actual detective.

Ah, technically, we're
all detectives here.

So if the murderer isn't
the serial killer's son,

or the forensics expert, or
the young ingénue then...

- who is it?
- You know,

all Percy had to do was switch

Helen's breath spray with the poison.

From there, she unknowingly
poisoned herself.

So even if Percy had an alibi,

he wouldn't have to be
with her to kill her.

Eve said that Percy and Helen
weren't as in love as they seemed.

Apparently, they kept up appearances

because their love story sold books.

Percy could've switched
her real breath freshener

with the poisoned one anytime.

That's why he wanted the purse.

He wanted to keep it out of evidence.

Plus, he had every
opportunity to plant the poison

and the note in Eve's room.

Sounds like we need
to pay Percy a visit.

Your call, Detective Powers.

I like him.

I do too.

Mr. Voss?

We need to speak with
you about your wife.

You wanna do this the hard way? Fine.

You need to come with me to
the station for a long talk.

I don't think he's going
to the police station.

Percy Voss is dead.

Look at his lips.

It's the same irritation that Helen had.

He must've ingested the same rat poison.

It was probably in his drink.

Well, at least we know
that Eve is innocent.

She was in custody
when Percy was killed.

Guy's got good taste in cigars.

That's a Flor di Bianco.

I love a nice Cuban.

My dad loved cigars,

but he could only
afford Majesty Winholms.

I smoked a cigar once. It was great...

for one puff.

Then... then, I puked.

Well, this cigar is barely smoked.

Hey...

"I killed her. May God forgive
me in this life or the next."

Maybe Percy wasn't murdered.

He committed suicide.

Ange?

You can step away from the
board now. The case is closed.

Percy killed Helen, then killed himself.

I don't know. It seems too easy.

- Shade's right.
Something's not adding up.

When Danica questioned Eve earlier,

she said Percy thought of himself
as the ultimate alpha male.

He could never admit he was wrong.

So he's an egomaniac.

What kind of egomaniac kills their
wife, regrets it 12 hours later

- and then kills themselves?
- Right?

The pieces don't add up.

Ah. I'm late to meet Jada.
Pick this up tomorrow?

Yeah, that's a good idea. We'll
put fresh eyes on it in the morning.

All right. See you guys.

Well... should we finish it?

We don't wanna be wasteful.

It's been nice having you
around again... on the case.

- Keeps Shade on his toes.
- Well, it's nice being back.

The old gang's back together again.

You, me...

- that other guy.
- Yeah. I don't really wanna talk about Shade.

Neither do I.

You know, it's getting pretty late.

Very late.

- I'm feeling pretty tired.
- Me too.

Luckily, I have the best
discount mattress money can buy.

Tell me more about this mattress.

Well, they gave me 50% off,

- and they threw in two pillowcases for free.
- Wow.

Now that I gotta see.

It's really the only
way to appreciate it.

Hey. I'm sorry I'm late.

Apparently, we have
the house to ourselves.

Ah!

And someone had flowers waiting for me.

Ah, they were supposed to be
those purple astral things.

They're perfect, and the
fact that you even tried...

it's very romantic.

House to ourselves, huh?

- A lot of empty rooms.
- What are we doing down here?

- Hello?
- The Florida Bianco.

- It's 7 a.m., Shade.
- It's a $750 cigar.

OK, and it'll still be
750 at 9 a.m., right?

Why would someone light a $750 cigar

to only take one puff
and let it burn out?

Well, you wouldn't. Especially
if you knew it was your last one.

Exactly! Percy wasn't
planning on killing himself.

- He was murdered.
- And whoever murdered him

faked his suicide note.

Well, probably the same person
that killed Helen, but...

who would wanna kill
both Helen and Percy Voss?

I don't know. But... Scotch
and an expensive cigar,

doesn't that sound like
a celebration to you?

Shade, you're a genius.

- So... you wanna tell Tex or should I?
- No, uh, no, I, uh, I got it. Um...

So Percy was superstitious.

How much do you wanna
bet he had a ritual

every time he finished a manuscript?

Pour a glass of whisky spark up a cigar.

A new Percy novel, a dead Percy.

I don't think that's a coincidence.

Neither do I.

Hey, Danica. Thanks for getting us in.

Eve didn't happen to mention
where the manuscript might be?

Really? Check the freezer.

- The freezer?
- It's where Eve said to look.

Here it is.

"Chesterfield Journals by Percy Voss."

We got it. Thanks, Danica.

We should've known.

- Why?
- Because he only writes on a typewriter,

so there wouldn't be a digital copy.

Explains why he hides
it, but why the freezer?

Eve told Danica that he did
it after his first bestseller,

and he's done it ever since.
Apparently, the only people

that even know that are Eve and Helen.

So someone killed
Percy, searched the suite

for the manuscript, couldn't find it.

The one thing I don't get
is what does any of this

have to do with Helen?

This is weird. This novel takes
place in the Victorian era.

Isn't that Stephanie May's genre?

It is. Maybe... Percy was branching out?

Or edging into Stephanie's territory.

- Maybe she felt threatened.
- Yo, I think I have something here.

By the time this airs,
the book will be released.

The Chesterfield Journals
follows Detective Rip Chesterfield

as he investigates a supernatural murder

in Victorian-era Chicago.

That's almost exactly
what Stephanie said

her next steampunk novel was about.

Is it possible they had the same idea?

Percy could've stolen her book.

He's written countless bestsellers.

She's written one. There'd be
no reason to steal her book.

- On the other hand...
- Stephanie May desperately needs a hit.

Otherwise, she'll lose her
house, her career, everything.

Percy could've written
this book for Stephanie.

It would explain why it takes
place in Victorian times.

Yeah, but Percy doesn't
seem like the kind of guy

who would write a book
to help out a friend.

They're not friends.

Percy and Stephanie
barely know each other.

They live in different cities.

They have different fan bases.
They run in different circles.

So nothing connects these two.

Other than they're
both writers who show up

at the same conference every year.

They're basically strangers.

Strangers at a conference.

Oh, do you have it?

It was in Percy's suite.

Oh! Thank you so much. I...

must've left it in all the chaos.

Percy took it to keep it safe, I'm sure.

You know, this weekend,

we've been inspired
to write our own novel.

Could we pitch it to you?

It's about a young writer.

Let's call her...
Stephanie, just for fun.

She wrote a good book and
was given a small fortune

to write another one,
but she couldn't deliver.

So her publishers
demanded the money back.

Meanwhile, a very successful
writer, let's call him...

Percy, hated his wife
and wanted her dead.

So the two writers
cooked up this scheme.

Does this sound familiar?

Heh. No.

He ghostwrote your book for you.

That's ridiculous. What?
Why would he do that?

Because you were
willing to kill his wife.

Classic Strangers on
the Train agreement.

No one would suspect you. You've
got no connection to Helen, and...

Percy seemed to adore his wife.

But, like any good mystery writer,

you added a red herring.

You planted the rat poison in
Eve's room to try to frame her.

Except you miscalculated your partner.

Percy realized he
ghostwrote a bestseller.

And he refused to give it to you...

which must have been a big bummer,
since you already killed his wife.

The only option you had
left was to kill Percy

and try to make it look like a suicide.

And then, take his
manuscript as your own.

This is crazy!

- The only problem was you couldn't find it.
- Until now.

That manuscript is mine,

- and you can't prove otherwise.
- No?

"Rip had arrived at the moment of truth.

In front of the townspeople,

he revealed who the murderous
vampire was. It was... "

Ooh! Who was the murderous vampire?

I mean, if we're wrong
and you did write this,

you'll know who the killer is.

I don't have to answer your questions.

Actually... you do. Who's the killer?

You don't know the answer
'cause you didn't write it.

You poisoned Percy's drink.

Then, you typed a fake suicide note.

Next time you wanna make it look
like a suicide, do me a favour:

don't wipe the victim's
prints from his typewriter

and his scotch glass.
It's a dead giveaway.

On the plus side, you're
gonna have plenty of time

to write that second novel...

... in jail.

Folks, when I get finished writing this,

you're gonna be major
players in a true crime book.

I see book tours, movie rights.
I'm just trying to figure out

which Hemsworth brother's gonna play me.

Excuse me.

Ah, to Timothy. And
to us. Job well done.

Except for the whole
getting you arrested bit.

- Sorry about that.
- Mm.

Everything is inspiration to
writers. Oh! Speaking of...

I have an assistant
now! How cool is that?

Thank you!

These are for you.

It's an advance copy of my book

and a small token of my appreciation.

"May your deaths only ever be written."

- Thank you.
- No, thank you...

for everything.

Hm.

- So where's Tex?
- Oh! He's off getting me some food.

- He knows I need to eat every two hours.
- He really gets you, doesn't he?

- Maybe.
- Oh! Before I forget...

Ah. I got you something.

Shade... my dad's favourite.

Don't save 'em for a special occasion.

Answer it.

- You sure?
- Yeah. Don't be weird.

OK.

Well, we have... a slider or a salad.

Who's the salad for?

So I'm on a flight back
to Seattle tomorrow,

unless...

Ah...

This has been great.
You are... so great.

You check all the boxes.

Yeah. I'm just... still not the guy.

Well, you can't blame me for trying.

Never.

One last dance for old time's sake?

Absolutely.

Watch an all new Private
Eyes, next Thursday on Global.

What do you know about Billy the Kid?

He was a gunslinger, he
killed a bunch of guys. Right?

- Next Thursday...
- After he robbed the train of its gold,

he hid out, right here in ***.

A search for a lost treasure...

Billy the Kid cowboy
boots have been stolen.

... And a legend of outlaws.

I need an answer in ten seconds or less.

- Three...
- Wait! What happened to eight, seven and four?

Two... one.

All new Private Eyes,
next Thursday on Global.

Also available on StackTV
in the GlobalTV app.

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- www.addic7ed.com -