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1
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??????
2
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,900
Benny was here.
3
00:00:13,925 --> 00:00:16,495
What were you doing
last night, Benny, huh?
4
00:00:21,635 --> 00:00:24,135
Ah. Dinner time on the trail.
5
00:00:24,235 --> 00:00:26,485
And Benny is...
6
00:00:27,565 --> 00:00:29,363
there.
7
00:00:29,965 --> 00:00:33,385
Eating a turkey leg
and drinking whiskey.
8
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Getting pretty wasted.
9
00:00:36,261 --> 00:00:39,381
Oh, he's up. He's up.
10
00:00:40,255 --> 00:00:42,395
He's getting up to take a leak.
11
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,778
And...[CHUCKLES] Oops!
12
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[URINATING]
13
00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:49,325
And he's in the bush,
14
00:00:49,425 --> 00:00:51,085
peeing on himself.
15
00:00:51,185 --> 00:00:53,085
- [URINATING CONTINUES]
- Still peeing.
16
00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,899
Doesn't seem to care.
17
00:00:56,006 --> 00:00:57,346
And he's back up,
18
00:00:57,446 --> 00:00:59,770
shaking the pee off the turkey leg.
19
00:00:59,846 --> 00:01:02,186
Oh, don't eat that, no!
20
00:01:02,211 --> 00:01:03,721
Gross!
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00:01:03,746 --> 00:01:11,746
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
22
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One bean? That's it?
23
00:01:38,646 --> 00:01:41,026
Lest you forget,
we threw most of our food
24
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into the river to save your keister.
25
00:01:43,509 --> 00:01:44,889
Oh.
26
00:01:44,962 --> 00:01:46,815
Well, in that case,
this bean looks great.
27
00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,500
Can't wait to dig in.
28
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Yummy.
29
00:01:49,841 --> 00:01:51,841
We can't survive on this.
30
00:01:52,421 --> 00:01:53,891
Now I hear there's buffalo
in these parts.
31
00:01:53,991 --> 00:01:56,171
- Maybe we can hunt them.
- It's too dangerous.
32
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No one's stupid enough to go
on that suicide mission.
33
00:01:58,671 --> 00:02:00,671
[IMITATES BUZZER] Wrong.
34
00:02:01,271 --> 00:02:02,901
I'm that stupid.
35
00:02:03,001 --> 00:02:05,221
Todd? Since when
do you know how to hunt?
36
00:02:05,321 --> 00:02:07,141
Every summer my parents sent me
37
00:02:07,241 --> 00:02:09,981
to Fancy Dandy's Hunting Camp
for Wealthy Boys.
38
00:02:10,081 --> 00:02:12,191
For the survival of my people,
39
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I'm willing to put my life on the line.
40
00:02:14,771 --> 00:02:18,111
Wow. Todd, I gotta admit,
that's really cool of you.
41
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Thank you.
42
00:02:19,851 --> 00:02:21,391
ZEKE: Uch. Really?
43
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What does she even see in him?
44
00:02:22,821 --> 00:02:24,336
What do you care?
45
00:02:25,181 --> 00:02:27,681
- You in love with her?
- No! No.
46
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:30,384
I'm just... I'm trying to
look out for her as a friend.
47
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And I don't know what he has
that I don't have.
48
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BENNY: Money, status,
and with that stout body,
49
00:02:36,151 --> 00:02:37,531
you know he's packing a whopper.
50
00:02:37,631 --> 00:02:39,731
- Shall I keep going?
- No, that's plenty, thank you.
51
00:02:39,831 --> 00:02:42,021
Benny, I'm recruiting
volunteers to join the hunt.
52
00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:43,621
- Can we count on you?
- Nah.
53
00:02:43,721 --> 00:02:46,301
I'm more of a people-killing
kind of guy.
54
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Once you go people,
it's hard to go back.
55
00:02:49,161 --> 00:02:50,501
Well, that's too bad.
56
00:02:50,601 --> 00:02:51,871
We could use a man like you.
57
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I'll do it.
58
00:02:53,291 --> 00:02:54,911
Are you sure, Zeke?
59
00:02:55,011 --> 00:02:57,551
I just... I didn't think
you were that kind of guy.
60
00:02:57,651 --> 00:02:59,351
- What do you mean by that?
- Oh, nothing.
61
00:02:59,451 --> 00:03:00,921
It's just, you know, you seem more...
62
00:03:01,021 --> 00:03:04,801
You're more, like, sensitive
and thoughtful. Um...
63
00:03:04,976 --> 00:03:06,276
Benny, help me out here?
64
00:03:06,301 --> 00:03:08,241
She's saying you're
a weenie little bitch baby.
65
00:03:08,341 --> 00:03:09,801
Okay, no, that's not helping.
66
00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:11,851
Well, clearly, you have
the wrong impression of me.
67
00:03:12,104 --> 00:03:14,104
I'll show you what kind of man
I am. Give me that.
68
00:03:16,791 --> 00:03:17,771
Yeah, it's the other way around, chief.
69
00:03:17,871 --> 00:03:19,171
Yes, I know.
70
00:03:19,271 --> 00:03:20,701
- PRUDENCE: Hey, careful.
- Whoa. Whoop! Careful.
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00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,741
Whoa.
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00:03:22,841 --> 00:03:24,841
Nice weight to it.
73
00:03:25,481 --> 00:03:27,274
Excellent.
74
00:03:30,531 --> 00:03:32,231
WOMAN: That's
a beautiful stitch, Granny.
75
00:03:32,331 --> 00:03:34,631
I was nervous about
the diamond stitching,
76
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:37,471
- but now it's my favorite.
- [WOMEN CHUCKLE]
77
00:03:37,571 --> 00:03:39,031
This sucks ass.
78
00:03:39,131 --> 00:03:41,081
The men get to go and
do this cool hunting trip
79
00:03:41,181 --> 00:03:43,601
and we just have to sit here
stitching dumb blankets?
80
00:03:43,626 --> 00:03:45,726
I find it quite stimulating.
81
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,076
[BENNY WHISTLING]
82
00:03:47,101 --> 00:03:49,121
Hey, howdy, gals.
83
00:03:49,221 --> 00:03:51,611
Me and the mistress
are gonna hit the hot tub.
84
00:03:51,711 --> 00:03:53,331
Taking a little me day.
85
00:03:53,431 --> 00:03:56,611
I can't believe he's not
gonna help with the hunt.
86
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:58,936
Should have expected as much
from a no-good outlaw.
87
00:03:59,111 --> 00:04:01,261
He does whatever he wants,
answers to nobody.
88
00:04:01,361 --> 00:04:02,501
It's a life of total freedom.
89
00:04:02,601 --> 00:04:04,311
Who would want that?
90
00:04:06,761 --> 00:04:08,421
- Hey, Benny.
- Oh!
91
00:04:08,521 --> 00:04:10,271
I want you to teach me
how to be a bandit.
92
00:04:10,371 --> 00:04:11,751
And why would I do that?
'Cause I don't want
93
00:04:11,851 --> 00:04:13,471
to spend my life sewing dumb-ass quilts.
94
00:04:13,571 --> 00:04:16,431
I want excitement
and adventure and just,
95
00:04:16,531 --> 00:04:18,417
to do whatever the hell I want.
96
00:04:18,441 --> 00:04:21,021
No offense but you don't
really seem like the bandit type.
97
00:04:22,127 --> 00:04:25,007
[CHUCKLES, GROANS COMFORTABLY]
98
00:04:26,301 --> 00:04:28,641
Not the type, huh?
99
00:04:28,741 --> 00:04:31,011
- Hey!
- Teach me how to be a bandit now,
100
00:04:31,111 --> 00:04:33,051
- or the whiskey gets it.
- All right, all right, all right!
101
00:04:33,151 --> 00:04:34,531
I'll... I'll do whatever you want.
102
00:04:34,631 --> 00:04:37,177
Just leave her out of it.
103
00:04:38,271 --> 00:04:41,481
Huh. Maybe you got some more
bandit in you than I thought.
104
00:04:43,721 --> 00:04:45,301
All right, men, listen up.
105
00:04:45,401 --> 00:04:46,661
When we get out on that hunting field,
106
00:04:46,761 --> 00:04:49,431
there's gonna be one rule
and one rule only,
107
00:04:49,531 --> 00:04:50,831
and that's kill or be killed.
108
00:04:50,931 --> 00:04:52,751
- MEN: Sir, yes, sir!
- Sir, yes, sir!
109
00:04:52,851 --> 00:04:55,871
Oh, I'm sorry, Reverend,
I can't hear you.
110
00:04:55,971 --> 00:04:58,071
- Are you ready to test your manhood?
- Yes, sir.
111
00:04:58,171 --> 00:05:00,441
- Tell me you're a man.
- I'm a man! I'm a man!
112
00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:02,561
Oh, that's good.
113
00:05:02,661 --> 00:05:05,201
Now let's get out there
and kick some buffalo ass!
114
00:05:05,301 --> 00:05:07,781
[MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
115
00:05:11,551 --> 00:05:13,211
They're everywhere. God help us.
116
00:05:13,311 --> 00:05:14,891
That's right, boys.
117
00:05:14,991 --> 00:05:17,051
You're staring into the face of evil.
118
00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:19,061
Really?
119
00:05:19,161 --> 00:05:21,141
[BUFFALO MOOING]
120
00:05:21,241 --> 00:05:22,781
They don't look evil to me.
121
00:05:22,881 --> 00:05:24,581
They look kind of sweet.
122
00:05:24,681 --> 00:05:26,941
Get ready for war!
123
00:05:27,041 --> 00:05:29,051
Sorry, are we looking at the same thing?
124
00:05:32,931 --> 00:05:34,151
TODD: Okay, here's the plan.
125
00:05:34,651 --> 00:05:36,351
John, I want you to take the perimeter.
126
00:05:36,451 --> 00:05:37,881
- Copy that.
- Lionel and I,
127
00:05:37,981 --> 00:05:39,361
we'll advance along the southern ridge.
128
00:05:39,461 --> 00:05:41,921
I'm sorry, but is all
this strategizing necessary?
129
00:05:42,021 --> 00:05:43,161
It really seems like
130
00:05:43,261 --> 00:05:44,481
you can just walk up and shoot them.
131
00:05:44,581 --> 00:05:47,251
[SCOFFS] That's what
they want you to think.
132
00:05:47,351 --> 00:05:50,211
Lure you into a false sense
of complacency
133
00:05:50,311 --> 00:05:52,651
and the second you take
your eyes off these monsters,
134
00:05:52,751 --> 00:05:53,771
they rip your guts out.
135
00:05:53,871 --> 00:05:55,611
Will they, though?
136
00:05:55,711 --> 00:05:58,541
They look extremely peaceful to me.
137
00:05:58,641 --> 00:06:01,141
Look, that one is just
rolling in the grass,
138
00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:02,294
enjoying the sunshine.
139
00:06:02,380 --> 00:06:03,541
And that one has befriended
140
00:06:03,641 --> 00:06:04,661
a little bunny rabbit.
141
00:06:04,761 --> 00:06:05,981
What an unlikely animal friendship.
142
00:06:06,081 --> 00:06:08,191
I can't take it anymore!
143
00:06:08,291 --> 00:06:10,471
I didn't sign up for this shit!
144
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:11,831
I wanna go home!
145
00:06:11,931 --> 00:06:13,911
Pull yourself together, man. Come on.
146
00:06:14,011 --> 00:06:15,391
Think of the mission.
147
00:06:15,491 --> 00:06:17,521
Come on! Think of the mission, man!
148
00:06:17,621 --> 00:06:19,761
Clearly, I am in the minority here,
149
00:06:19,861 --> 00:06:23,121
but this just does not seem
like the test of manhood
150
00:06:23,221 --> 00:06:25,221
it was presented as.
151
00:06:26,311 --> 00:06:27,491
Reverend, don't move.
152
00:06:27,591 --> 00:06:29,971
There's one right behind you.
153
00:06:30,071 --> 00:06:31,458
Yep.
154
00:06:32,151 --> 00:06:33,531
- Oh!
- [BODY THUMPS]
155
00:06:33,631 --> 00:06:35,171
[BUFFALO GROANING IN PAIN]
156
00:06:35,271 --> 00:06:39,221
I got it. I got it in one shot, baby!
157
00:06:39,321 --> 00:06:41,259
Yeah!
158
00:06:42,041 --> 00:06:44,381
And it was a massive stationary target,
159
00:06:44,481 --> 00:06:46,491
but sure.
160
00:06:46,891 --> 00:06:49,151
Step 12 of the Cincinnati Twist,
161
00:06:49,251 --> 00:06:50,751
you wanna point your gun
162
00:06:50,851 --> 00:06:53,431
at a 45-degree angle at point X,
163
00:06:53,531 --> 00:06:55,111
X being the person
you're aiming to kill.
164
00:06:55,211 --> 00:06:57,361
And let me guess: You start
shooting like crazy,
165
00:06:57,461 --> 00:06:59,236
just like every other move.
166
00:07:00,061 --> 00:07:03,241
Yeah, that's right.
Wow, you're a quick learner.
167
00:07:03,341 --> 00:07:04,961
All right, moving on. Next subject.
168
00:07:05,061 --> 00:07:06,731
Horse care and maintenance.
169
00:07:06,831 --> 00:07:08,731
Now the first thing you want to get
170
00:07:08,831 --> 00:07:10,171
is a nice pretty brush.
171
00:07:10,271 --> 00:07:12,851
Oh, my God! We have been
doing this for hours!
172
00:07:12,951 --> 00:07:15,821
When are we gonna start
doing real bandit stuff?
173
00:07:15,921 --> 00:07:17,581
Now that's gonna take weeks.
174
00:07:17,681 --> 00:07:20,381
First, you gotta earn
your bandit training permit.
175
00:07:20,481 --> 00:07:22,661
Then you can do daytime robberies,
176
00:07:22,761 --> 00:07:25,271
but only with an experienced
outlaw present. Now...
177
00:07:25,371 --> 00:07:27,391
This is bullshit. No, come on, Benny.
178
00:07:27,491 --> 00:07:29,311
I don't need any of these rules.
179
00:07:29,411 --> 00:07:31,101
I'm ready for the real thing.
180
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:33,791
Oh, okay, hot shot.
181
00:07:33,891 --> 00:07:35,901
Want me to show you the real thing?
182
00:07:37,701 --> 00:07:39,818
It's about to get very real.
183
00:07:40,341 --> 00:07:41,761
[MEN CHEERING, LAUGHING]
184
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:44,891
Whoo, you see that?
One shot, baby. One shot.
185
00:07:44,991 --> 00:07:48,011
Oh, did you see the... [LAUGHS]
186
00:07:48,111 --> 00:07:49,651
Whoa! Stand back.
187
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:52,771
- It's still alive.
- Poor thing. It's in so much pain.
188
00:07:52,796 --> 00:07:53,891
It's your first hunt, Reverend.
189
00:07:53,991 --> 00:07:55,101
Why don't you have the honors?
190
00:07:55,201 --> 00:07:57,981
Oh, no. You're all right. Um, yeah,
191
00:07:58,081 --> 00:07:59,461
this one's got Todd
written all over it. Come on.
192
00:07:59,561 --> 00:08:02,301
Thought you wanted to
prove that you're a man.
193
00:08:02,401 --> 00:08:03,781
- I do.
- Well, a real man
194
00:08:03,881 --> 00:08:05,911
always takes the kill shot.
195
00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:06,951
- Do it.
- JOHN: Take the shot, Rev.
196
00:08:07,051 --> 00:08:08,111
MAN: Do it, man. Do it!
197
00:08:08,211 --> 00:08:10,071
Okay, if that's...
If that's what it takes.
198
00:08:10,171 --> 00:08:11,892
Uh-huh.
199
00:08:13,424 --> 00:08:15,634
Now get real close up to its face.
200
00:08:21,821 --> 00:08:23,811
[SNORTING]
201
00:08:23,911 --> 00:08:25,911
[QUIETLY] Apologies.
202
00:08:26,471 --> 00:08:28,791
[GRUNTING]
203
00:08:30,791 --> 00:08:32,331
[GUNSHOT]
204
00:08:32,431 --> 00:08:36,221
[ALL CHEERING]
205
00:08:36,321 --> 00:08:39,621
You're a real man now, Rev.
How does it feel?
206
00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:42,341
Good. It was cool how the brain
exploded all over me.
207
00:08:42,441 --> 00:08:44,451
[LAUGHS]
208
00:08:45,531 --> 00:08:47,391
Fur trappers. Yeah.
209
00:08:47,491 --> 00:08:49,311
Come all the way from "le France"
210
00:08:49,411 --> 00:08:50,831
to collect beaver pelts.
211
00:08:50,931 --> 00:08:52,151
And we're gonna rob 'em blind.
212
00:08:52,251 --> 00:08:53,961
Really? Just like that?
213
00:08:54,136 --> 00:08:55,596
Unless you're scared.
214
00:08:55,621 --> 00:08:58,761
No, I am not scared. I'm psyched.
215
00:08:59,189 --> 00:09:01,524
All right, then. Mask up.
216
00:09:04,742 --> 00:09:06,171
[FRENCH ACCENT] You cannot wear
217
00:09:06,271 --> 00:09:07,971
a raccoon skin hat with a beaver jacket.
218
00:09:08,071 --> 00:09:09,851
Freeze!
219
00:09:09,951 --> 00:09:12,961
Anyone who moves
gets one between the eyes.
220
00:09:14,441 --> 00:09:15,914
How was that?
221
00:09:16,961 --> 00:09:18,861
Okay, uh... a couple notes.
222
00:09:18,961 --> 00:09:20,581
Okay. When you walk in,
223
00:09:20,681 --> 00:09:22,431
just, uh, maybe throw it away more.
224
00:09:22,531 --> 00:09:24,351
You know, like,
don't try to be a bandit,
225
00:09:24,376 --> 00:09:25,866
just be a bandit.
226
00:09:25,891 --> 00:09:27,831
Okay, yeah, that's good.
Felt a little stiff.
227
00:09:27,931 --> 00:09:29,224
Is it cool if I take it again?
228
00:09:29,326 --> 00:09:31,051
Uh... okay.
229
00:09:31,491 --> 00:09:35,601
[BLOWS RASPBERRY] Whoo.
230
00:09:35,701 --> 00:09:37,081
Freeze.
231
00:09:37,181 --> 00:09:38,321
Anyone who moves
232
00:09:38,421 --> 00:09:40,421
gets one between the eyes.
233
00:09:41,581 --> 00:09:42,611
Okay, that felt good.
234
00:09:42,711 --> 00:09:44,771
I not only believed it, I felt it.
235
00:09:44,871 --> 00:09:46,531
Magnifique. Very scary.
236
00:09:46,631 --> 00:09:47,811
Thank you so much.
237
00:09:47,911 --> 00:09:49,331
I don't know, you guys. I love the fit,
238
00:09:49,431 --> 00:09:51,331
but I feel like it
makes me look a little bit fat.
239
00:09:51,431 --> 00:09:53,034
Do you think so?
240
00:09:54,161 --> 00:09:56,261
Dingus. What are you doing here?
241
00:09:56,361 --> 00:09:58,581
Well, I'm not just
a bounty hunter, Benny.
242
00:09:58,681 --> 00:10:01,411
I'm also... a bargain hunter.
243
00:10:03,625 --> 00:10:05,951
Really? You're not
gonna laugh at that? Huh?
244
00:10:06,051 --> 00:10:07,111
I'm putting myself out there,
245
00:10:07,211 --> 00:10:09,211
trying to be funny, in this heat.
246
00:10:10,091 --> 00:10:12,101
Well, anyway.
247
00:10:12,701 --> 00:10:13,921
Get down!
248
00:10:14,021 --> 00:10:16,661
[GUNSHOTS]
249
00:10:18,901 --> 00:10:20,561
Okay, Benny. What's the plan?
250
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,251
Well, this happens sometimes.
251
00:10:22,351 --> 00:10:24,211
He got the drop on us.
So now we just wait
252
00:10:24,311 --> 00:10:26,051
for one of the bullets
to hit us, and then we die.
253
00:10:26,151 --> 00:10:27,651
We die? That's the plan?
254
00:10:27,751 --> 00:10:28,971
How much was this one again?
255
00:10:29,071 --> 00:10:30,491
What about the Cincinnati Twist?
256
00:10:30,591 --> 00:10:32,381
You mean just shoot like crazy?
257
00:10:32,481 --> 00:10:33,821
Hey, that might work.
258
00:10:33,921 --> 00:10:35,167
All right, on three?
259
00:10:35,244 --> 00:10:37,412
BOTH: One, two, three!
260
00:10:41,491 --> 00:10:42,631
[YELLS]
261
00:10:42,731 --> 00:10:48,231
??????
262
00:10:48,331 --> 00:10:50,881
- What are you doing?
- I'm grabbing their shit! Ha ha!
263
00:10:50,981 --> 00:10:52,841
Au revoir, bitches!
264
00:10:52,941 --> 00:10:54,941
Ha! That's my girl!
265
00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:02,479
Yeah, I'll take this.
266
00:11:03,631 --> 00:11:05,051
We did it, men.
267
00:11:05,151 --> 00:11:08,331
This'll make a fine addition
to my trophy room.
268
00:11:08,431 --> 00:11:10,301
Hey, Rev! Come on, get in on this.
269
00:11:10,401 --> 00:11:12,661
- Uh, no thanks. I'm okay.
- Come on, you're the MVP.
270
00:11:12,761 --> 00:11:14,661
You shot the bastard's damn brains out.
271
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:15,821
Go on, get in there, Rev.
272
00:11:15,921 --> 00:11:17,061
- Get over here!
- I said no thanks.
273
00:11:17,161 --> 00:11:19,061
To be honest, I feel sick
about what we did.
274
00:11:19,161 --> 00:11:20,991
What I did. Killing an innocent creature
275
00:11:21,091 --> 00:11:24,151
just to prove I'm a man.
I mean... pathetic.
276
00:11:24,251 --> 00:11:25,991
Wow. I'm sorry.
277
00:11:26,091 --> 00:11:27,951
I just didn't realize that, um,
278
00:11:28,051 --> 00:11:30,721
the reverend was such
a buffalo lover over here.
279
00:11:30,821 --> 00:11:32,401
[MEN LAUGH]
280
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:34,201
Hey guys, try and guess who I am. Ready?
281
00:11:34,301 --> 00:11:36,321
[ENGLISH ACCENT] Ooh! Look at me!
282
00:11:36,421 --> 00:11:37,881
My name's Ezekiel!
283
00:11:37,981 --> 00:11:40,851
[MEN LAUGHING] I love buffalo so much,
284
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:42,691
I want to have sex with 'em!
285
00:11:42,791 --> 00:11:46,331
- I don't sound like that.
- I like to 69 'em.
286
00:11:46,431 --> 00:11:48,531
That's disrespectful to the buffalo.
287
00:11:48,631 --> 00:11:51,821
Oh! Ooh! [LAUGHS] Actually feels good.
288
00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,141
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
289
00:11:53,241 --> 00:11:54,381
- [GRUNTING]
- [BEAR GROWLS]
290
00:11:54,481 --> 00:11:55,861
Todd. Todd!
291
00:11:55,961 --> 00:11:57,901
[GRUNTING, LAUGHING]
292
00:11:58,001 --> 00:12:00,011
Todd! There is a bear behind you!
293
00:12:01,491 --> 00:12:03,851
- [ROARS]
- [SHRIEKS]
294
00:12:06,371 --> 00:12:07,511
- [BEAR GROWLS]
- I'm sorry for humping
295
00:12:07,611 --> 00:12:08,961
your friend, Mr. Bear.
It was an accident.
296
00:12:09,061 --> 00:12:10,361
- Guys, what do we do?
- Get outta here!
297
00:12:10,461 --> 00:12:12,001
What? Run?
298
00:12:12,101 --> 00:12:14,101
- Come on. Let's go!
- [BEAR ROARS]
299
00:12:15,781 --> 00:12:17,781
- [TODD WHIMPERING]
- In there! In there!
300
00:12:19,191 --> 00:12:20,891
[BEAR ROARS]
301
00:12:20,991 --> 00:12:22,251
[GROWLING]
302
00:12:22,351 --> 00:12:25,431
Whoa. Bad day to wear
my velvet underwear.
303
00:12:27,911 --> 00:12:30,981
- Because I shit my velvet underwear.
- Right.
304
00:12:31,081 --> 00:12:33,061
[PRUDENCE HOWLS]
305
00:12:33,161 --> 00:12:35,941
Oh, man! I love being a bandit.
306
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:37,261
That was so cool, remember?
307
00:12:37,361 --> 00:12:38,391
You're like, "One, two, three,"
308
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,471
and it was like, "Pow pow pow pow!"
309
00:12:39,571 --> 00:12:41,151
And they were so scared! Oh, my God.
310
00:12:41,251 --> 00:12:42,711
I feel alive.
311
00:12:42,811 --> 00:12:44,511
Not bad for your first stick-up.
312
00:12:44,831 --> 00:12:46,851
Well, not bad for
your first time teaching.
313
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,961
Actually, it's my second time.
314
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,963
I also taught my daughter.
315
00:12:52,541 --> 00:12:54,921
How did I not know you have a daughter?
316
00:12:55,021 --> 00:12:57,001
Tell me everything.
317
00:12:57,101 --> 00:12:58,411
Fine.
318
00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,771
But this is just between us outlaws.
319
00:13:00,871 --> 00:13:02,531
Just between outlaws.
320
00:13:02,631 --> 00:13:04,631
The story starts a long time ago.
321
00:13:05,511 --> 00:13:08,741
Yeah. I was on my own back then.
322
00:13:08,841 --> 00:13:10,741
My career was starting to take off
323
00:13:10,841 --> 00:13:11,781
when I met her for the first time.
324
00:13:11,881 --> 00:13:13,610
Ha ha ha!
325
00:13:14,841 --> 00:13:16,738
Hey, you lost, kid?
326
00:13:17,091 --> 00:13:19,351
Don't worry, I'm not gonna hurt you.
327
00:13:19,451 --> 00:13:21,071
[YELLS]
328
00:13:21,171 --> 00:13:23,191
She was violent and deranged,
329
00:13:23,291 --> 00:13:24,671
like a feral animal.
330
00:13:24,771 --> 00:13:26,006
Ow!
331
00:13:26,031 --> 00:13:28,481
In other words,
a chip off the old block.
332
00:13:28,581 --> 00:13:30,481
- Aw...
- [BELL RINGING]
333
00:13:30,581 --> 00:13:32,761
Soon enough, we were
pulling cons together.
334
00:13:32,861 --> 00:13:34,561
All right, Trig, it's go time.
335
00:13:34,923 --> 00:13:36,731
What's the golden rule?
336
00:13:36,831 --> 00:13:39,251
Get money and kill anybody
who gets in the way.
337
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:40,691
Atta girl.
338
00:13:40,716 --> 00:13:42,096
We were the perfect team.
339
00:13:42,121 --> 00:13:44,541
I was the pretty face,
and she was the muscle.
340
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:45,931
Howdy, mister.
341
00:13:46,031 --> 00:13:48,021
Can I get a lump of ice cream, please?
342
00:13:48,121 --> 00:13:50,461
Aw, I can't say no to that smile.
343
00:13:50,855 --> 00:13:52,561
Gimme all your money.
344
00:13:53,161 --> 00:13:55,618
When I got a gang of my own,
345
00:13:55,660 --> 00:13:57,151
she was my right hand man.
346
00:13:57,251 --> 00:13:58,696
All right, Trig.
347
00:13:59,211 --> 00:14:01,211
It's go time.
348
00:14:01,531 --> 00:14:03,368
Remember the golden rule?
349
00:14:03,771 --> 00:14:06,561
Get money and kill anyone
who gets in the way.
350
00:14:06,996 --> 00:14:08,841
Atta girl.
351
00:14:08,941 --> 00:14:10,761
[GUNFIRE]
352
00:14:10,861 --> 00:14:13,281
She was the best outlaw I'd ever seen.
353
00:14:13,381 --> 00:14:17,691
Quick, cunning,
and most of all, ruthless.
354
00:14:17,791 --> 00:14:20,426
Aw, we did it, Trig! We're rich!
355
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:23,731
No...
356
00:14:23,831 --> 00:14:25,051
I'm rich.
357
00:14:25,151 --> 00:14:27,621
[GUNSHOT]
358
00:14:27,721 --> 00:14:29,721
Gosh, Benny.
359
00:14:30,441 --> 00:14:32,061
I'm so sorry.
360
00:14:32,161 --> 00:14:33,461
Your own daughter?
361
00:14:33,561 --> 00:14:35,631
The crazy thing is,
362
00:14:35,731 --> 00:14:36,854
even after all that,
363
00:14:37,424 --> 00:14:39,112
I still miss her.
364
00:14:43,171 --> 00:14:45,011
But hey, that's the bandit life for you.
365
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,361
[CHUCKLES] Can't trust anyone.
366
00:14:47,461 --> 00:14:49,721
But it's worth it for all this freedom.
367
00:14:49,821 --> 00:14:51,641
I wouldn't have it any other way.
368
00:14:51,741 --> 00:14:53,584
No siree bob.
369
00:14:56,191 --> 00:14:59,171
??????
370
00:15:00,011 --> 00:15:02,011
You think the bear's gone?
371
00:15:03,257 --> 00:15:04,804
I'll check.
372
00:15:06,401 --> 00:15:08,641
[BEAR ROARS]
373
00:15:09,961 --> 00:15:11,621
Nope. Still there.
374
00:15:11,721 --> 00:15:15,231
Hey, I'm sorry
I made fun of you earlier.
375
00:15:15,256 --> 00:15:17,116
I'd be dead meat
if you hadn't saved my life.
376
00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:19,711
[CHUCKLES] God! I'm such a loser.
377
00:15:19,811 --> 00:15:22,231
- Come on, don't be so hard on yourself.
- No, it's true.
378
00:15:22,331 --> 00:15:24,721
The only reason I led this hunting party
379
00:15:24,821 --> 00:15:26,321
was to impress Prudence.
380
00:15:26,421 --> 00:15:28,321
I thought if I could prove to her
381
00:15:28,421 --> 00:15:29,921
how strong and manly I was,
382
00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:31,601
she would fall in love with me again.
383
00:15:31,998 --> 00:15:33,931
A silly thing to want to prove.
384
00:15:34,031 --> 00:15:35,491
Hey, what do you think?
385
00:15:35,591 --> 00:15:37,591
I mean, you're her best friend.
386
00:15:38,005 --> 00:15:39,571
Am I fighting for something
that'll never work?
387
00:15:39,671 --> 00:15:41,971
Should I just give up and let her go?
388
00:15:42,071 --> 00:15:44,261
Just shoot me straight.
What should I do?
389
00:15:44,361 --> 00:15:45,341
[TODD AND JOHN, ECHOING] Come on, man.
390
00:15:45,441 --> 00:15:46,741
- Take the shot.
- Come on.
391
00:15:46,841 --> 00:15:48,261
- Take the kill shot.
- Take the shot, Rev.
392
00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:50,661
- Quit being a sissy.
- Take the shot, Rev.
393
00:15:50,761 --> 00:15:52,181
[GUNSHOT]
394
00:15:52,281 --> 00:15:53,978
Um...
395
00:15:54,571 --> 00:15:56,871
No, you shouldn't give up. You should...
396
00:15:56,971 --> 00:15:58,271
You should try and make it work.
397
00:15:58,371 --> 00:15:59,591
Tell her how you feel.
398
00:15:59,691 --> 00:16:02,591
I'm no good at the fancy words
like you are.
399
00:16:02,691 --> 00:16:04,201
I mean, I could write something
400
00:16:04,301 --> 00:16:06,081
for you to read to her.
401
00:16:06,181 --> 00:16:07,681
Really? You'd do that for me?
402
00:16:07,781 --> 00:16:09,201
Yeah.
403
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,436
Psst! Hey, guys!
404
00:16:10,461 --> 00:16:11,801
The bear is asleep.
405
00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:13,091
I'm gonna lead him that way,
406
00:16:13,191 --> 00:16:14,291
and you two make a run for it.
407
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,771
That's crazy. That's a suicide mission.
408
00:16:16,871 --> 00:16:18,669
It's okay.
409
00:16:19,311 --> 00:16:21,171
I'm not afraid anymore.
410
00:16:21,271 --> 00:16:22,741
I want this.
411
00:16:22,841 --> 00:16:24,061
For myself.
412
00:16:24,550 --> 00:16:26,461
Godspeed, soldier.
413
00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:28,561
See you boys on the other side, huh?
414
00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:34,111
LIONEL: Hey, bear! Come and get me!
415
00:16:34,211 --> 00:16:36,391
Oh, no! He instantly caught me!
416
00:16:36,491 --> 00:16:37,911
- [BEAR GROWLS]
- Ah, the bear's eating me
417
00:16:38,011 --> 00:16:39,231
from the feet up!
418
00:16:39,331 --> 00:16:41,991
Half my body is currently in the bear!
419
00:16:42,091 --> 00:16:43,761
- [BEAR GROWLS]
- Oh, God! The bear brought
420
00:16:43,861 --> 00:16:45,201
another bear friend!
421
00:16:45,301 --> 00:16:47,481
I am now being eaten by two bears!
422
00:16:47,581 --> 00:16:48,881
From either direction!
423
00:16:48,981 --> 00:16:51,601
This plan could not have gone any worse!
424
00:16:51,701 --> 00:16:53,711
- [SCREAMS]
- [BEAR GROWLS, CRUNCHES]
425
00:16:56,711 --> 00:16:58,691
- We gonna head out?
- Yeah, I think we should go.
426
00:16:58,768 --> 00:17:00,431
- Okay.
- I'm gonna grab my stuff.
427
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:03,381
Hey, Benny.
428
00:17:03,481 --> 00:17:04,621
- Whoa!
- Got the drop on you.
429
00:17:04,721 --> 00:17:06,101
Oop! Don't shoot. [CHUCKLES]
430
00:17:06,201 --> 00:17:07,621
Hey, slick.
431
00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:10,261
Are you ready for
another big day of outlawing?
432
00:17:10,361 --> 00:17:11,264
[CHUCKLES]
433
00:17:11,288 --> 00:17:12,791
Yeah, actually,
434
00:17:12,891 --> 00:17:14,071
Benny, um,
435
00:17:14,096 --> 00:17:16,686
I don't think being a bandit is for me.
436
00:17:17,851 --> 00:17:20,471
You know, I thought I wanted
the life that you have,
437
00:17:20,571 --> 00:17:22,581
but, seems kinda lonely.
438
00:17:25,741 --> 00:17:27,741
Are you gonna be okay?
439
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,921
[SCOFFS] Don't worry about me.
440
00:17:31,021 --> 00:17:33,611
I don't need you. I don't need anybody.
441
00:17:33,711 --> 00:17:35,711
I got all the friends I need right here.
442
00:17:39,471 --> 00:17:41,741
Well, uh, if you ever want,
443
00:17:41,841 --> 00:17:43,841
you're always welcome
at the quilting circle.
444
00:17:45,641 --> 00:17:47,661
??????
445
00:17:47,761 --> 00:17:49,701
So I am fighting this stain,
446
00:17:49,801 --> 00:17:51,151
trying everything to get it out,
447
00:17:51,251 --> 00:17:52,431
but nothing's working!
448
00:17:52,531 --> 00:17:54,351
- So what did you do?
- Gave up.
449
00:17:54,451 --> 00:17:55,551
Told John he needs to start
450
00:17:55,651 --> 00:17:57,231
pulling his drawers down in time.
451
00:17:57,331 --> 00:18:00,111
Go, Martha. [LAUGHTER]
452
00:18:00,211 --> 00:18:01,761
Sorry I was being
kind of a jerk yesterday.
453
00:18:01,861 --> 00:18:03,861
We're just glad to have you back.
454
00:18:05,341 --> 00:18:06,721
And I'm glad I'm here, too.
455
00:18:06,821 --> 00:18:07,711
[CHUCKLES]
456
00:18:07,735 --> 00:18:09,041
You ladies are a hoot.
457
00:18:09,141 --> 00:18:11,911
Turns out, I'm a natural at quilting.
458
00:18:14,951 --> 00:18:16,291
It's a butterfly.
459
00:18:16,391 --> 00:18:17,731
Oh, I see it.
460
00:18:17,831 --> 00:18:20,901
- [OX MOOS]
- Oh, the men are back!
461
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:23,881
??????
462
00:18:29,811 --> 00:18:31,191
Zeke!
463
00:18:31,291 --> 00:18:33,271
- How did it go?
- Ah, not great.
464
00:18:33,371 --> 00:18:35,871
Yeah, turns out I am not
really the hunting type.
465
00:18:35,971 --> 00:18:38,071
Gosh, I'm just happy
you're back in one piece.
466
00:18:38,171 --> 00:18:40,461
- Me, too.
- [METALLIC CLANGING]
467
00:18:42,301 --> 00:18:44,321
Excuse me, everyone!
468
00:18:44,421 --> 00:18:46,401
I'd like to read something to my wife.
469
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:48,741
Todd. What are you doing?
470
00:18:52,031 --> 00:18:53,731
"Dearest Prudence,
471
00:18:53,831 --> 00:18:55,785
You are my best friend.
472
00:18:56,591 --> 00:18:58,538
"But you're so much more than that.
473
00:18:59,071 --> 00:19:01,241
"You're the most amazing
woman I've ever met.
474
00:19:02,481 --> 00:19:04,781
"This journey is changing us all
475
00:19:04,806 --> 00:19:07,221
in ways we can't pr..."
476
00:19:08,241 --> 00:19:10,311
Pr...
477
00:19:10,411 --> 00:19:11,551
Predict.
478
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:13,031
"But I promise
479
00:19:13,131 --> 00:19:15,231
"I will always be by your side.
480
00:19:15,331 --> 00:19:17,511
[MOUTHS WORDS] I love you."
481
00:19:17,611 --> 00:19:19,183
[CHUCKLES]
482
00:19:19,861 --> 00:19:20,921
Todd.
483
00:19:21,021 --> 00:19:22,521
That was beautiful.
484
00:19:22,621 --> 00:19:24,721
I had no idea you felt that way.
485
00:19:25,064 --> 00:19:26,821
Me neither.
486
00:19:28,341 --> 00:19:29,464
JOHN: We got a buffalo!
487
00:19:29,572 --> 00:19:32,331
[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
488
00:19:32,431 --> 00:19:34,731
Oh, man. It's a good thing you and Prude
489
00:19:34,756 --> 00:19:36,835
are just friends or
this would really sting.
490
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:39,350
Yeah. Good thing.
491
00:19:41,742 --> 00:19:43,221
We are gathered together
492
00:19:43,246 --> 00:19:44,466
to mourn the death of Lionel,
493
00:19:44,641 --> 00:19:46,861
who bravely sacrificed himself...
494
00:19:46,961 --> 00:19:49,463
Reverend? Tell us how he died.
495
00:19:50,491 --> 00:19:51,746
Oh, no, I'm...
496
00:19:51,771 --> 00:19:53,831
I'm not sure that's a great idea.
497
00:19:53,856 --> 00:19:55,076
It would bring me peace
498
00:19:55,101 --> 00:19:57,847
to know how my husband
spent his final moments.
499
00:19:58,341 --> 00:20:00,057
Very well, then.
500
00:20:01,221 --> 00:20:04,121
Lionel was attacked...
501
00:20:04,221 --> 00:20:07,001
by not one, but two bears...
502
00:20:07,101 --> 00:20:10,611
- [WIFE CRIES]
- who ate him alive
503
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:14,771
as one might an extra-long chili dog.
504
00:20:14,796 --> 00:20:16,136
[SOBS]
505
00:20:16,311 --> 00:20:18,141
- I can stop.
- No, please.
506
00:20:18,241 --> 00:20:20,141
It's helping.
507
00:20:20,584 --> 00:20:22,038
[SOFTLY] Okay.
508
00:20:22,761 --> 00:20:24,701
At a certain point,
the bears became bored
509
00:20:24,801 --> 00:20:27,711
of eating Lionel, and engaged in a game
510
00:20:27,811 --> 00:20:30,871
of what can only be described as...
511
00:20:30,971 --> 00:20:32,431
bear volleyball.
512
00:20:32,531 --> 00:20:34,199
[SOBS]
513
00:20:34,223 --> 00:20:35,431
Go on.
514
00:20:35,531 --> 00:20:37,801
- Please don't make me.
- Please.
515
00:20:37,901 --> 00:20:39,441
You owe me this.
516
00:20:39,541 --> 00:20:41,921
That is when things got "bad,"
517
00:20:42,021 --> 00:20:44,841
as the bears proceeded
to place Lionel's head
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00:20:44,941 --> 00:20:47,851
into a sort of... bear cannon.
519
00:20:47,951 --> 00:20:50,191
[WAILS]
520
00:20:51,464 --> 00:20:53,491
Start again from the top.
521
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But this time more detail.
522
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??????
523
00:20:57,971 --> 00:21:02,521
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