All language subtitles for Melrose Place S07E18 Suddenly Sperm.eng

So, what do you figure

I can get for the
place, ballpark?

In this market,
high six figures.

Really? That much?

Oh, me as your listing
agent, guaranteed.

Doctor, I don't mean to pry,

but, well, since I
am a neighbor, too,

what happened to the blond?

Oh, you mean Jane?
We're getting divorced.

So, you live around here, huh?

Two houses down, pier side.

No kidding.

Listen, um...

I'm sort of drowning in
debt, and I've got a car loan

and a second
mortgage on the house,

and my wife is dedicated

to taking me to the
cleaners alimony-wise.

Not to worry.

You're dealing with a pro.

I never jump at the first offer.

Terrific.

Well, I haven't seen that
tall redhead around in a while.

Oh. Kimberly. Dead.

And then there
was the other blond.

Megan. But how come

you know so much about my life?

I'm an amateur astronomer.

I love my Newton
reflector telescope.

You'd be amazed at
all the stars I've seen.

In the sky... and in bed.

Yeah, well, you know,

some people might
call that voyeurism.

It's not a disease, Michael.

It's a hobby.

In your case, I was merely
checking out the Big Dipper.

Well, I better rush back to
the office and list the house.

Yeah.

The sooner we sell it,

the sooner you
get on with your life.

I'm hard to reach
during the day,

but I'm always
reachable at night.

Oh, I bet you are.

Listen, Megan, I was
wondering, if you're not busy...

Mm. Nah. More confident, okay.

Okay, look, Ryan, I know

I have been sending
you mixed signals.

Megan, dinner tonight, 8:00.

You know, that whole thing

with-with Michael falling
through the roof and all...

It was too arrogant.

Don't mention Michael.

Look, I know sleeping
with Lexi was stupid.

Mm, better not mention Lexi.

Just ask her out.

All right.

Okay.

Don't rehearse.

Just be spontaneous.

Megan?

Ryan, hi. Uh...

- Were you, uh, looking for me?
- Um...

No. Actually, I-I didn't make
it to the gym this morning,

so I was just doing
some stepping exercises.

Oh, oh. Hey, you want
to have some dinner?

Want to

go out tonight?
I'd love to. I...

I'd love to have dinner.

Mm.

Oh, boy. Um, how about 8:00?

That would be perfect.

I'm, uh... I'm glad
we both asked.

Yeah. I'll, uh, walk
you down the stairs.

Good morning.

Hey. Thanks, baby.

Hey, something wrong?

No. I'm just determined
to get pregnant.

Well, good.

I like determination in a woman.

Oh, then... good.

You won't have a
problem with this.

Okay, what is this?

- Want boxers?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay. Avoid hot tubs, no sex...

No-no sex... You're
kidding, right?

No. I'm just trying to maximize
our chance of conceiving,

and I got a clean bill of
health from my doctor,

so you're gonna need
to get a physical, too.

Do you have any free time today?

Uh, call me old-fashioned,
but I-I thought

that making a baby
was supposed to be fun.

Oh, it will be...
once I'm ovulating.

Once...

Sweetheart, I know how
much you want to have a baby.

We want to have a baby.

Right. But we're talking
about biology here.

Mother Nature,
God, the big picture.

It is not something
that you can control

or schedule like
a client meeting.

Who says?

I've done the research.
We can do this.

Start our family,
build our dream house,

all within the next year.

I want that, too, but
I also want romance,

spontaneity, and I
definitely want regular sex.

Well, I promise you
all that and more.

Just be patient,
and let me play God.

Play God?

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪ See tomorrow
as a brighter day ♪

♪ Give it all that
you have to give ♪

♪ Because we only
have this one life to live ♪

♪ You only wanted to
feel like a superstar ♪

♪ Feel the fire inside us ♪

♪ It's the power of choices ♪

♪ Sequel, step
back and then go ♪

♪ And cast your
feet out the window ♪

♪ It's up to you to believe... ♪

Hey.

Hey, Pete, thanks for seeing
me on such short notice.

No problem. What do you say

we start with a
routine physical?

Throw this on, we'll just...

No. I'm as healthy as a horse.

I'm just here because Amanda
and I are trying to have a baby.

Congratulations. You didn't
have to make an appointment

to tell me that, though.

No. Actually, I got a
couple questions for you.

Okay.

What's up?

Well, uh, a couple guys
from my unit in the Gulf

have had trouble with, uh...

fertility.

You think you may
have the same problem?

I don't know.

Maybe that I was exposed
to something over there,

and I know the government
is doing some studies, but...

I was hoping that you
could run some tests.

Sure. Yeah, I'll do
a full workup here.

Whatever I can't handle,
we'll send over to the VA labs.

Okay, good. Good.

You know, do me a favor.

Uh, this is really important
to Amanda and to me.

Don't mention anything to her,

'cause I don't
want her to worry.

You have my word

as a doctor and as a friend.

You still have to put this on.

Thanks.

These look good.

- I think Amanda's gonna like 'em.
- Mm.

Well, I guess it depends on
what kind of mood she's in.

You know the new guy Tim?

He's staring at you?

No, he's not.

Told you.

He's asking all kinds
of questions about you.

Whether you like movies.

I think he's gonna ask you out.

What did you tell him?

The truth. You know,
that you're nice, creative,

intelligent, about
to get divorced.

Oh, you could have
left that part out.

Oh, excuse me, Jane.

Um, who told you to
put those in my office?

I did.

Oh, Amanda, I'm one person.

Are you saying you
can't handle the workload?

I know what this is.

This is, uh, payback

for my little affair
with Lexi, isn't it?

I am not that petty.

This is between you and me, and
no one else is supposed to know.

Understand?

Sure. Whatever.

I am grooming you to
take over this agency.

You're kidding.

It's not my style.

But before you crack open
the champagne, get this straight.

I am still the CEO, my
name is still on the stationery,

but you'll be in charge of
the day-to-day operations.

What, are you
dying or something?

Hardly.

Kyle and I have
decided to have a baby.

I'm gonna be an uncle. When?

As soon as I get pregnant,
which we are working on.

So, at the very least,
you'll have nine months

to learn how to run this place.

I might not need as much

grooming as you think, Amanda.

I'll be the judge of that,

so don't get too
cocky, or too eager.

I can always change my mind.

About you, not the baby.

Dr. Ewing to Cardiology for...

- Peter!
- Hey.

- Hi.
- What a surprise.

What are you doing here?

Mmm. Well, since you helped
me get rid of my nightmares,

as a little thank you, I
baked you some cookies.

That's so sweet.

- Mm.
- Where are they?

Oh, you know my cooking skills.

My baking skills
are a lot worse,

and I... burned them.

All of them?

Well, the ones I didn't burn

I actually ate on
the way over here.

You know, I'm lucky
I didn't marry you

for your talent in the kitchen.

Mm. Remind me again
why you did marry me.

Mmm.

Well,

don't you two look blissful.

Well, it's nice to see
you dressed for a change.

What are you two
doing in my office?

We're here on official business.

- Together?
- Yeah.

Just one surprise
after another, huh?

In the spirit of the season,

Lexi made me an offer
that I couldn't refuse.

Which tells you it's
one hell of an idea.

Not to mention a
really good PR move.

For the time being, Lexi and I

have decided to put
our old feelings aside

and bury the hatchet,

and we want to start
a charitable foundation

for the children's wing
at Wilshire Memorial,

and Lexi asked me to match
her contribution of $200,000,

and I couldn't say no.

Yeah. Well, sick children
deserve a happy holiday season.

We thought we'd put
a tree in every room

and pass out some
toys, maybe even

throw a party for the little
tykes and their parents.

You know, maybe we can
make this a yearly event.

Wow. That's... quite
a proposal, girls.

Yes. We'd only have
to see you once a year.

Funny.

Actually, in my opinion,
I think we should do it

for all the holidays... Easter,
Fourth of July, Thanksgiving.

You know what, Peter?

This sounds like
such a great cause.

I would love to
be involved, too.

- Oh, good. We could use the help.
- Yes, it's

the least I can
do, being the wife

of the chief of staff.

Great.

Then it's settled.

Well, congratulations
to us all, then, huh?

Boy, this is gonna be cozy...

All of Peter's women
working together... the past,

the present, the... always.

You know what, I
think I'm gonna go

get this ball
rolling. Thank you...

very much... I really think
we're all gonna benefit

from this little venture. Hmm?

This is great.

I mean, this is our
first official date.

Yeah, it is our first date.

- My God, it's, uh, it's great.
- Hmm.

It's kind of weird, though,
because, I mean, first

- we were friends, and now...
- Now, come on,

we're still friends, only
this time we're on a date.

Right. Date.

Good thing about being friends
is, there's lots to talk about.

I mean...

Yeah, lots and lots.

Weather and sports, uh...

How our days went.

How was your day?

It was fine.

And yours?

It was good. It was busy. Busy.

You, uh, really can't beat
this weather we're having, huh?

Mm, yeah, sunny and warm.

Just like yesterday.

And the day before that.

And the day before that.

Oh!

Oh, ho-ho, white wine.

- I am so sorry.
- No, that's fine.

Oh, my gosh, listen, I'll
take them to the dry cleaners.

Mm-mm, mm-mm. No.

Sit down... I'm gonna
go to the restroom,

and I'll just clean up.

It's fine, don't worry about it.

Forget it.

Rose for your pretty date?

Oh... that's a great idea.

- How much are they?
- For you,

five dollars.

Oh.

I don't believe this.

- I forgot my wallet.
- Mm-hmm.

Smooth, McBride. How are
you gonna pay for dinner?

God, I love a man in
uniform... It's so sexy.

- What do you want?
- Well, I thought a donation.

It would really look
good for the chief of staff

to donate a chunk
of change for the kids.

I just had a hard surgery,
I'm tired, I'm going home.

Right, home to your lovely wife.

Tell me something, Peter,
does she sing to you in bed?

Does she belt out those love
songs till you beg her to stop?

What game are we playing now?

'Cause I'm a really bad sport.

Look, we are well
past playing games.

I'm just trying to get
into the holiday spirit.

Well, I don't buy it.

Peter, look...

people change.

Personally, what I needed
was a swift kick in the ass,

and you gave that
to me in Oakhurst.

I'm a changed woman.

If you don't believe me

why don't you ask your wife
to keep an eye on me, huh?

Don't mean to be
presumptuous, but...

thank you so much in advance
for the generous donation.

Hmm? Excuse me.

Sorry about that trip home.

- Oh, forget it.
- I always wondered

what it'd be like to
ride an L.A. city bus.

Well, now you know. You
know, I should have brought

some cash or a credit
card or something. I...

Oh, forget it. You know,
the restaurant agreeing

to hold my car as collateral,
it's fine. Worked out fine.

Look, this is where you
are supposed to say that

you had a good time, but
since you didn't, um, good night.

- Megan.
- Good night.

Were you really so hard up

you had to put this
place on the market?

Ask your lawyers.

You see the, uh,
papers they filed today?

I'll be lucky if I'm living out
of my car after this divorce.

Ha! Stop exaggerating.

Just call 'em like I see 'em.

You know what, Michael?
I'm not asking for a dime

I'm not entitled to. Hey.

- Hey! That's mine!
- No, it's not!

- Indiscreet is my favorite movie.
- Mine, too!

- Since when?
- Since we saw it together

on our first date!

Oh, that was hardly our date.

If I recall, you were
with a busty redhead.

Maryanne was as flat as a board.

The only thing flat about
Maryanne was her IQ.

Huh! I can't believe
you remember her name.

I remember everything
about that night, Jane.

Hello?

Oh... I hate these old movies.

Can't we just go get
a drink somewhere?

Yeah, sure, honey,
right after the flick.

Shh!

Oh, sorry.

Hey.

Nice film, huh?

This is so boring.

Why don't you join
me for supper here

after the play?

Be quiet!

Make it 11:30.

Well, that's 11:30.

You've got that right, now...

Your eyes are on everything
in this theater except me.

Here, have a
chocolate-covered nut, huh?

I'm trying to watch my weight.

- Good idea.
- What?!

That's it! I'm sick
of being insulted.

Will you two shut up!

In a minute!

I have had it, Michael!
You're at school all day,

at the hospital all night,
and then when you finally

squeeze me in, you drag
me to these lame movies

with stupid actors I
never even heard of!

What kind of moron hasn't
heard of Ingrid Bergman?

Yeah.

Ow!

Good-bye, Michael!

Ow...

Oh...

I'm sorry.

It's just that I love
Ingrid Bergman.

Yeah. Yeah, so do I.

For a manicurist, she
really packs quite a wallop.

Yeah. Do you want
me to get you some ice?

No. But you know
what you could do?

Would you mind
if I sit next to you?

I hate to watch movies alone.

Okay. But I'm warning
you, I always cry at the end.

Oh, yeah? Me, too.

♪♪

Jane Andrews.

Oh. Michael Mancini.

- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.

Nut?

Whopper.

I should have known
you were a problem

the minute Maryanne
caused that scene.

Well, you provoked her.
You were thrilled that she left.

You wanted me from
the minute our eyes met.

You are dreamin'.

I thought you were a jerk.

All right, after two failed
marriages, Michael,

I finally realized

I need to move on
to someone new,

get rid of the bad taste
you've left me with.

Jane, wait. You
know what? I lied.

- War of the Roses is my favorite movie.
- Funny,

I thought it was Liar Liar.

What do you think if we
put the nursery right here?

It'll get the morning sun.

Well, is that better
than the afternoon sun?

- Oh. I don't know.
- We have to do a little more research.

No, what I want to know is...
where the bedroom's gonna go.

If I tell you, you're gonna
want to test the soil.

Yes, I am. Can you blame me?

Oh, I swear, if
that is the office...

Hello?

Listen, Becky, tell
them they'll have to wait.

Yes, all of them.

I'll be back a little later.

I don't know. A couple of hours.

Good-bye.

But, babe,

you sure you don't
have to get back?

I'm positive. The
office is not my priority.

- Since when?
- Since... now.

Hey-hey, what are you
doing? What are you doing?

I'm just making sure you're
wearing boxers, and as usual,

you didn't disappoint me.

That, Mrs. McBride,

is something you can count
on for the rest of your days.

Jane?

Sorry. Just came by to
give you the good news...

in person.

In your swimsuit?

Well, I keep it in my briefcase.

Ah... I'm a sun worshipper.

What's happening with the house?

I sold it.

Would you mind rubbing a
little suntan oil on my back?

Uh...

you sold the house?

Full asking price, short escrow.

You okay? You
look a little flush.

No, no, I'm fine. It-it's...

just that I didn't expect
it to sell so quickly.

You know L.A.

Fast money, fast
cars, fast deals.

You'll need to vacate the
premises within 48 hours.

That soon?

You hired me to sell your house.

I sold it.

Now, if you're having
second thoughts...

No, no, I'm not.

I'm not having second thoughts.

It's just I got a lot
of memories here.

I mean, you should know that,

given your
telescopic visitations.

Michael, I thought
this was good news.

And that maybe...

we could celebrate.

You know what? It is, it is.

It's very good news.

It's... it's just that this
was my first home,

and, uh, first place
I could call my own.

The one constant in my life.

My son was born here.

You know what, um...

I don't feel much
like celebrating.

I'm just gonna... I
need to be alone,

you know, for a little while.

Oh, hi, Tim.

- Uh, you know my name.
- Of course.

We work together. And I
also hear that you like movies.

Yeah, I'm a-a big film buff.

Really?

Well, there's a, uh,
Ingrid Bergman film

playing over at the Rialto.

I'm into more
contemporary films.

Yeah. A lot of
people feel that way.

But you do know who
Ingrid Bergman is, don't you?

Oh, yeah, of course. Uh...

- Casablanca, Gaslight...
- Oh, I love that one.

Well, if you ever want
to see a new release, um,

just let me know... I hate
going to the movies alone.

See ya.

Yeah.

Tim, how's it going?

What?

- She just asked me out.
- Jane?

- Yeah.
- Oh, way to go, man.

Sorry I'm late.

Had to pick up my car.

And you couldn't have done that

and gotten to work
on time because...?

Because I had to wait
for the restaurant to open.

Don't ask.

Had this horrible date
with Megan last night,

and if I have to
relive it right now,

I'll probably jump
out the window.

Well, jump on your own time.

I have a new project waiting
for you in the conference room.

- Well, can I finish the old ones first?
- No.

Because you're going
to show the spokesperson

for LeBeau Cosmetics around
town and keep her happy.

Uh, her? Well, wait a minute.

I'm definitely the wrong
guy for the job, Amanda.

I mean, after last night,

I realized I can't
even talk to women.

You're talking to me,
and I'm telling you,

you have the looks
to bring in business.

So use them.

Come on, follow me.

Ryan McBride, meet
Catherine McCord.

- It's nice to meet you, Ryan.
- Same here.

Amanda said you were adorable,

but I thought she
was just selling.

Sorry. Did I embarrass you?

I also told Catherine

that you're my right
hand and that, over lunch,

you would lay out the entire
cosmetics campaign for her.

Now I'm really
looking forward to it.

Have a good time.

So, I found a tree
lot that's willing

to deal on a bulk order.

And I told the guy we'd
swing by day after tomorrow.

Oh. I just love holiday seasons.

Don't you, Eve?

Well, the holidays were
never very important to me.

Being a singer on the
road, one day is like the next.

Well, what about growing up?

Or were you a child prodigy?

Don't you have to go
on in a few minutes, Eve?

What, is Eve's Christmas memory

some sort of national secret?

Hardly.

I just don't want to brag.

That's all.

I come from a
big, well-off family.

We all used to sit
around this huge fireplace

singing Christmas carols
and drinking eggnog.

Oh, all the aunts and the uncles

and the cousins.

Oh, and the holiday dinners
my mother used to make...

Oh, they were to die for.

That sounds thrilling.

Ms. Sterling, you
have a phone call.

Oh.

No fair to see
me while I'm gone.

Excuse me, but
those were my holidays

you were bragging about.

What the hell are you thinking?

I just want Lexi to think I come

from the same damn stock
she does... rich, elitist snobs.

You know the type, Amanda.

My stock, not yours.

You don't have to
keep reminding me.

Well, apparently, I do.

The last thing you need
is Lexi hot on your trail.

If she ever decides
to verify that story,

we'll both be in trouble.

You're the one who hurled
her back into my life, Amanda.

I'm just trying to stay
one step ahead of her.

Well, then, stop
following her into the mud.

This is not a competition, Eve.

You got Peter... you won.

You sold the house,

and you're claiming it's
not community property?

Michael, you are not going
to cheat me out of my share.

For the record, I would
never cheat you, Jane.

Somebody else, yes, but not you.

I own half this house,
and I will get half the profits.

Yeah, but that's the
thing... There are no profits.

Not once you
factor in what I owe

for the furnishings,
the retrofitting

- and the second mortgage.
- Well, that's just

- another one of your scams.
- I'll tell you what.

Why don't you have
your lawyer call my lawyer,

and maybe he can explain.

Maybe he can
explain it to the judge.

Look, did you want me to
help you with those boxes?

You know what?
On second thought,

you can keep your
stupid Indiscreet tape.

The less reminders I
have of you, the better.

Huh? Ow!

Open the door.

Hi.

You must be Jane.

Oh. Who's this, Michael?

Another one of your conquests?

This is my real estate agent.

Dressed like that?

Give me a break.

- Your timing sucks.
- Sorry.

I told you I was going to
drop off the escrow papers.

Yeah, well, did you
have to do it in that dress?

This old thing?

I just threw it on.

Linda, you're a beautiful woman.

Really?

How beautiful, Michael?

Okay, sit down for a second.

Um...

I'm really not up for an affair.

Uh, you know, Jane's got
me a little bent out of shape.

- So...
- Well...

maybe I can help unbend you.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Linda, I just can't do
this, you understand?

It's a violation of our

client-broker
relationship, okay?

Hey, listen, I...
I'm still married.

I, uh... um...

I can't.

Really, I can't. I...

Michael, repeat after me.

"I think I can.

I think I can."

Okay, maybe I can.

Oh, Jane, I was looking for you.

- Here I am.
- Um...

I was, uh, hoping that
you might like to see

a sneak preview of the new
Julia Roberts movie with me.

Sure.

Uh, when?

Oh, uh...

uh, tomorrow.

Uh, 7:00.

We could leave from here.

That sounds great.

I'll put it in my book.

I'm looking forward to it.

Jane, listen, I'm going to be

out of the office for
the rest of the day.

But the Midway people are
going to be here in a minute

and we have a lunch
meeting with Wilcox.

Tim Sheldon just asked
me out and I said yes.

I... I'm losing my mind.

That sounds like a
personal problem.

But, as far as
work is concerned,

you and Ryan can
handle everything.

I can't be reached.

Is everything okay?

Uh, better than okay.

And right on schedule.

Don't worry, honey.

It happens.

Not to me, it doesn't.

Why are you being
so hard on yourself?

It was nice.

For the 30 seconds it lasted.

You know, I-I'm just
stressed out... that's all.

I'm under a lot
of pressure lately.

Michael, you don't
have to explain.

Don't be so understanding, okay?

Okay. How about honest?

I haven't had a good
night's sleep in a long time,

and thanks to
you, I finally did.

That's nice. I feel
a lot better now.

Michael...

I see everything in my business.

And if you want my opinion,

you're still in love with Jane.

I'll call you when
we close escrow.

Hi, Frank. I'm looking for
Kyle. The club said he'd be here.

Uh, no, you just missed
him, but I'm glad you're here.

I've got some questions
about the fireplace...

He didn't mention,
by any chance,

- where he was going?
- No.

Sorry. Uh, but could you
have a look at this floor plan?

Becky, I'll give you a 401

if you find Kyle for me
in the next half hour.

No, I'm not kidding.

Call me back.

Kyle!

What the hell?

Amanda?

Hey, what's going on?

- What's wrong?
- I have been looking for you all day.

- It's time.
- It's...?

- Look, ho-hold up a second.
- No, Kyle.

We are on a schedule,
and I am ovulating right now.

- Okay, well, you know what?
- Aah!

That is great, but
I-I don't want to have

to tell our kids that they were

- conceived in your car.
- Oh, but it's rush hour.

It's going to take us at least
an hour before we get home.

That's okay.

Wha...? What?

What?

Oh, no.

All right.

Whoa. Looked much
better on the outside.

Oh, well, it's
better than a car.

Hey, look.

For a quarter, the bed vibrates.

No, sweetheart.

We are going to make
our own vibrations.

Now we are on my schedule.

I love you.

I love you, too.

I am going to give you a night

that you are never
going to forget.

Mmm.

♪ Come and take me by a hand ♪

♪ Slight in a holler way ♪

♪ I am not one to bother ♪

♪ Can I make you
buy my handslide ♪

♪ Any other way? ♪

♪ I wouldn't want to offer ♪

♪ I want to see you
in a hungry light ♪

♪ I want to be... ♪

Okay, how about...

I never played basketball

against a woman with
a height advantage?

- I beat you fair and square.
- All right.

Guess I have to keep my
eye on the ball next time.

♪ I want to pull
your inside... ♪

I had such a great
time today, Ryan.

Really?

Feel like all I did was unload
about my problems with Megan.

Well, obviously, you have
strong feelings for her.

Did I say that?

♪ Infuser ♪

♪ Red, wide and
a pink intruder ♪

♪ Come and have me... ♪

I can tell from the
look in your eyes.

She's a lucky woman.

You should tell her that.

Do you mind if I join you?

Um, sure.

- Megan, this is, uh...
- Catherine.

It's nice to meet you.

So, how do you two
know each other?

Actually, uh, Catherine's a...

Good friend. We're good friends.

Actually, we spent
the entire day together.

Don't get the wrong idea.

It's...

It's what, that you're
only comfortable

talking to beautiful
supermodels?

This is really insulting,
Megan... to you and me.

Maybe I should just
go back to my hotel.

No, I'll give you a lift.

Since you're the spokesmodel

for Amanda's client,
LeBeau Cosmetics.

I'll take a cab.

Good luck, Ryan.

That was low... Interrupting
a business meeting.

I want to know why you can talk
to her and you can't talk to me.

Maybe because
she can talk to me.

Uh, you know what, maybe
I have nothing to say to you.

Well, good, I guess we're
not friends anymore then.

Megan.

Megan, if you want to know
the reason I have a hard time

talking to you, it's because
I'm so damn attracted to you...

Yeah, well, you know what,

you have a really
strange way of showing it.

What are you talking about?
I've been pursuing you since

the first day I got here; you've
done nothing but reject me.

That is so not true.

I find you incredibly sexy.

Wow, now we have
something to talk about.

I really want to
kiss you, Megan.

Yeah, well, then stop
waiting for permission.

Veterans Lab. Carson speaking.

Yeah, this is Dr. Peter Burns.

Oh, right.

Right.

You wanted the, uh, the
results of the McBride test.

I got them right here.

Yeah.

McBride, right?

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Test results show
sperm count of zero.

He's shooting blanks.

You're sure?

All right here in
black and white.

You want to submit
an authorization,

I'll be happy to
send you a copy.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll do that.

In the meantime, file this.

Will do.

Thanks for rushing this through.

Yeah, no sweat.

If you're not careful, Ed,

something's gonna get
mixed up around here.

That was some night.

Think that we may
have made twins.

And I think you
underestimate yourself.

Is that right?

That's right.

No, no, no, let the,
let the machine get it.

No, babe. I wasn't at the
club or the restaurant all night.

I think that I should get it.

Go ahead.

Hello.

Kyle, it's Peter.

I've got your test results back.

Well, yeah, uh,
hang on a second.

Uh, babe, no... it's Mario.

The fish didn't get delivered,
and he is freaking out.

Okay, well, you talk to him,
and I'm gonna go take a shower.

But promise me you'll
join me when you're done.

You betcha.

Okay.

So, what's the word?

You're sterile.

You and Amanda will
never be able to conceive.

What?

No, you... you...

It's that bad?

It's about as bad as it gets.

Sorry.

You okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Now, that doesn't mean
that there aren't alternatives.

We can try in vitro...

That's not in the
cards for us right now.

Don't you think
that's a decision

you should make with Amanda?

Yeah, and, you know,
I'm gonna talk to her.

Um, but do me a favor,

just-just keep this between
you and me right now, okay?

Kyle...

No, I mean it.

Peter, okay, I got to go.

Um...

These are crooked.

Why are all these trees crooked?

Well, they'll
straighten them out,

put them on a stand
and stuff like that.

How many should
we get... 100, 150?

I think 100 will be
fine... One for each room.

Those white ones over there...

- No, too much white.
- Too much white.

Excuse me.

Do you think you
could have 100 trees

delivered to Wilshire
Memorial by the 20th?

Whatever you ladies want, yeah.

Well, what we'd
like is a good deal.

I mean, after all,
it is for charity.

Well, not for me, no.

See, I'm in this for the buck.

Okay, well, here's
a 50% deposit.

You'll get the other half if
the trees are delivered on time.

Yeah, sure, you can count on me.

All right.

Where's Eve?

Uh, here. I'm right here.

Oh. Well, got to get going.

Me, too.

It's another busy day

in the dog-eat-dog
world of advertising,

- right, Amanda?
- Oh, I wouldn't know.

When you're on top, it's a
whole different perspective.

Eve, weren't you gonna
pick out a special tree

for your first
Christmas with Peter?

Right. I almost forgot.

- See you later.
- How sweet.

A special tree.

Well, you know, just
like everything else,

it'll eventually dry
up and get dumped.

Speaking from experience?

Oh, Amanda teaching
you a little sarcasm? Hmm.

Oh, uh, lady, what kind
of tree you looking for?

Oh, you know what,
on second thought,

I think I changed my mind.

Don't I know you?

I don't think so.

Nah, I never forget a face.

You don't remember me, do you?

Travis Hill?

Course, you must remember
that, um, cell block I used to guard.

Cell block 14...
Does that ring a bell?

Stay away from me.

W-What are you doing now?

I thought you had
another five years.

What, you escape?

Maybe I should
call the authorities.

I was paroled; I
have a new life now.

Oh, me, too. Me, too.

Um, you know, working at
that prison, that depressed me.

Except for times I
got to watch you.

It gave me such a thrill
watching you exercise, you know?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, where you going?

Hey.

A new life.

I'd say you hit
the jackpot, lady.

Go to hell.

♪♪

Well, that movie wasn't great.

- No.
- But the company sure was.

Oh, thanks.

So w-what didn't you
like about the movie?

I don't know.

Um, I thought the characters
weren't really well developed,

um, you know, too much
action, not enough story.

They just don't make
them the way they used to.

I know. I have to agree.

Well, maybe we can,
uh, do it again sometime.

Except, next time, we'll
see one of your classics.

I'd like that.

Um, listen, Jane, uh,

I live around the
corner from here.

Would you like to come
over for a nightcap?

Sure.

Why not?

Now that we have the
same taste in movies,

let's hope we can
agree on music.

Yeah.

Whoo!

Take it off, baby!

Jane?

Excuse me.

Are you all right?

I mean, you seem
a million miles away.

I'm sorry, Tim.

I've changed my mind.

Would you take me home?

- I can change the station.
- No.

It's, uh...

It's a little bit more
complicated than that.

I-I can't begin to explain.

Let's just call it a night.

Okay.

You've reached upstairs.

Leave a message,
I'll call you back.

Hi, honey, it's me.

I'm wearing a black lace slip

that I am sure will
knock you sideways.

Oh, and I, um, I bought
a book of baby names.

Can you believe it?

Anyway, I will keep the
champagne on ice, all right?

I love you.

Bye.

I love you, too.

I love you, too.