All language subtitles for Mondo.Hollywoodland.2021.1080p.WEB-DL.DD2.0.H.264-EVO

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull

We have a
liftoff, liftoff on Apollo 11.

The sun
scorches through the day,

but at night this place
will be terribly cold

and dark, with only
the hint of starlight.

A shining system of lights
will soon follow though,

as we cross, cross over
from death to paradise,

a paradise of mankind.

The seat of kings,

and the very Earth
their paupers will till.

This is Hollywood.

Hollywood is where movies
come from, my dears.

That is its reason for being.

That's what gave it
life, breathed into it.

And like God with Adam,

something was created from
only dirt, dust, and water.

But what is today's
Hollywood really like?

Indeed, we shall
seek the answer.

Hollywood.

What is it now?

What about those
with their finger,

no, not their finger,
but their entire bodies

moving to the funk of
the real Hollywood?

Do you know what Hollywood is?

Hello, I'm speaking to you.

What the hell
are you doing here?

Do you know what-

- Hollywood?

Yes.

You want to see Hollywood?

Yes, we'd
really like to know.

Hollywood's Mondo.

Mondo?

What's Mondo?

Sir, excuse me.

What's Mondo?

You gotta go see
the man who knows.

Pardon, who?

The man who knows.

We must find him now.

This strange, inebriated
fellow must tell us how.

Sir, where do we find
the man who knows?

What is the address?

3125 Birkdale Court.

What is this Mondo?

Can we make sense of it,

or does it in fact defy
such banalities as sense?

And just who is this man who
knows, this Norman Boyle?

And yes hello, excuse me.

What's the meaning of this?

We're here to see Norman Boyle.

I like you man.

No one calls him
Norman, all right.

His name's Boyle.

Oh, I'm sorry.

- Boyle?
- Yeah.

It would be rude
to call him Norman.

Are you groovy, man?

I think so.

Come on you guys,
let's help him out.

He's cool man, he's fine.

All right.

Buzz man?

I must
speak to this man.

I seek valuable
information he possesses.

Guys, I'm gonna show
him where Norman is.

All right.

Get some cake. Get
some cake. Get some cake.

Excuse
me sir, may I?

Boyle's in there man.

Oh my word.

Always pay
your bills man.

Hello, I come
here from the fifth dimension.

Can you help me in my quest?

Yeah, I don't know.

It depends on what it is.

I was told
Hollywood is Mondo,

but what is Mondo?

They say, you know
what it means.

Mondo, yeah yeah.

Huh?

That's heavy, man.

Have you ever lost someone?

Losing a loved
one is, well, so not groovy.

You get it, then.

I lost my cat, Zappo.

I was devastated.

And then through my readings
and other things, you know,

you realize that
the bedrock nature

of the universe is horror.

However, there are forces
that guide us, you know

like some grand puppeteer
and we're marionettes

and our fingers
are puppet strings.

They, I don't know, man.

Mondo is hard to explain.

I built this chair.

I had this vision.

I don't know man, ever
since I lost Zappo

I started dedicating
myself to my work.

Let me take you to the mirror.

It'll make more sense.

In my vision, I saw the Titans,

the Weirdos,

and the Dreamers.

And I started growing magic
mushrooms for all three.

Grow 'em, process 'em.

I add a secret step, which
I can't tell you about,

and then I turn the
horror into beauty.

See? Titans, Weirdos, Dreamers.

I can't explain
exactly what Mondo is,

but I bet if you went and saw
Titans, Weirdos, the Dreamers,

you'd find Mondo.

I'm
sorry about your cat.

Boyle, we got an
agreement, okay?

I give you low rent,

and you're supposed to
take care of my property.

But ever since
Zappo's been gone.

You've got a
major rat problem.

I can replace you, easy.

One craigslist, just like that.

Sorry about your Zappo.

Call the exterminator right now.

Rat trap.

Tape.

I'm gonna gas these rats.

The Titans,
the first on our list.

Like the proto-gods of yore,

the Titans are imposing,
if not everlasting.

No fuck ups, and
things delivered.

That's my job as Chief
Operating Officer

of Paveway Pictures.

We've got it.

We did Academy
Award-nominated films,

tasteful arts,
selected at Cannes.

You name it, we've got it.

Right now, I've got this sci-fi
picture, "Speed of Light,"

"Twilight" in space.

But the Disney star's
got in some problems.

It's my job to fix it.

Hi Tom.

Let's get this over with.

Cavity resonance.

Wait wait,

I'm supposed to be an alien.

Should I do a voice?

No.

Focus okay?

Cavity resonance.

What?

Another way to measure
the speed of light

is to independently measure

the frequency and the wavelength

of the electromagnetic field.

Wow, you know your stuff.

I'm so happy to have met you.

You're the most important
thing in my life.

What the fuck was that?

Science and feelings
don't go together.

I mean, I want to do
stuff with meaning.

I want to do like plays.

Oh my God, you'd
be great in a play.

I'd be good in a play.

You'd be so good in a play.

I saw a play on the West
End when I was in the UK.

So much ketamine.

So much.

I wish I had some.

Yeah, I was like
seven years old,

and I was like, woah,
this is intense.

Seven?

Can you just do me a biggie
and cut up that watermelon?

But we just got here,
there aren't any knives.

Illegal
aliens are the hot topic.

No, not illegal aliens, Dick,

I know what a fucking
illegal alien is.

Gaga, Trump.

Yeah, I'd rather be doing
an illegal alien movie.

Fucking put me in a truck.

I believe in you.

That's why I represent you.

You're a loser.

Did Dick call?

No.

Oh wait, Yeah yeah.

Can you set up a meeting?

Hey man.

What up?

I tried that, she won't budge.

She insists her character
wouldn't say those kind of things.

Listen, this director
is not gonna take notes

from a fucking
17-year-old Disney actor.

Look, you can talk
to her, all right?

I'll have Sam coordinate
a time to meet.

Fine.

Just email Grace
with some dates.

Look, you know,
you guys are Latinx.

Yeah, sure.

All right, you got this.

Oh fuck.

Just a question,

what are the chances that
we can recast Poloma?

I don't need an explanation,
just a yes or no.

No.

Why, what happened?

Am I gonna see her tomorrow
on TMZ with white powder

all over her nose,

crawling out of a club
with a broken heel or what?

No, no, no, no.
There's no problem.

What if I were your manager?

Shut your dirty
little gay mouth.

You shut your
little Latina face.

Let's do coconut
and talk about it.

You know, I need to be doing

what Natalie Portman does, okay?

Not like Peyton List does.

I want perfume ads.

I feel like someone
was after me,

like if TMZ was like after me,

like you would be
there to cover my ass.

I wouldn't be like Britney
with the shaved head,

you'd get me away.

How do I get on SNL?

Well, that's the question
that I'm here to answer,

if I were your manager.

I'll do to the Disneyland castle

what Mohamed Atta did
tower number one and two.

Oh my God, you wanna go outside?

Yeah.

Terrible idea.

Let's go in.

I mean Tupac just left LA.

He's alive, he's alive.

Tupac is still alive,

and he's like sad when
people pretend he's dead.

Gross.

We got to go get blow, man,

This is ridiculous.

Come on man.

Whoa man.

You got to get
another hand soap, man.

You can't use fucking
bar soap for hand soap.

You know how much
bacteria is on that stuff?

What's wrong
with my hand soap?

It's shitty.

You use your hands.

You wash your hands all day,

and then you know,
you get shitty soap. It's just-

- Smells like an Irish
spring, I like it.

Get your beer.

Hey, so what's going
on with this blow?

We going soon, or
what's the deal?

I can't go tonight, man,
I've got to deal with this.

What?

I can't go tonight.

What do you mean you can't
go tonight?

We are going tonight.

That's what we decided on,
we're gonna go tonight.

I can't go anymore.

I gotta deal with this.

You gotta, this was our plan.

You know, you understand
my time is valuable.

You think it was
my plan for a bunch

of rats to show up
in my goddamn attic?

Dude, we'll go on Friday.

Friday?

Let's remember that.

Friday.

- Put in my...
- want some?

No, I'm coming down
now, hold the ladder.

Ain't nothing wrong
with a little jake.

Tell me more about this
soap you use for bumps?

For the hand soap,
I use ,

which is, it's very
good French soap.

It smells nice, great
packaging, it's all that.

And it's something
that's always there.

You don't have to
use it all the time.

But for the body you can
actually use a good bar of soap.

And I have this one.

It's got this
charcoal magnesium,

which doesn't allow
it to get all...

- Hold the ladder.
- ...slimy, you know.

You take all the batteries

out of all the
alarms in the house.

This is how human
beings kill themselves.

You don't think I can
kill a few rodents?

Precision, precision,

things get accomplished
with precision.

Tug on that.

Pretty good, right?

Not bad.

We still should get a
hose on the other side.

You ready?

What's going on here?

What's going on here?

Just some maintenance man,
just working on the house.

No no no no,
what's going on here?

Just some house
maintenance, man.

Maintenance?

A hose is coming
out of your car?

Hey, we're just
having a beer, man.

I don't know who you are.
Please don't speak to me.

It's just a hoax.

This is insanity,
I live right there.

I feel very uncomfortable,

It is this very nefarious,

and definitely illegal,
definitely illegal.

Definitely illegal?

Dude, I'm a law abiding citizen.

I've never done anything
illegal in my entire life.

I know what goes
on in here, okay?

I know all those weird
little things you do.

It's all very inappropriate,
and very strange strange.

Things, what are you talking
about, things that go on?

What laws of am I breaking?

I got proof.

- Proof?
- Yeah.

What are you doing?

Just remember that.

Friday.

- Put it in my...
- want some?

No,
I'm coming down now, hold the ladder.

Ain't nothing wrong
with a little Jake.

That's illegal, man.

That's illegal.

You can't tape.

It's not illegal.

It's not cocaine, I
was smelling my hands.

That's ridiculous.

What an insane excuse.

He was smelling his
hands, I got bad soap.

If I see any of this again,

if I see any of this, this
car and this gas or this man,

I will call the police and
that's final, that's it.

Police?

That's it, no, no, no,

this is over, the
conversation's over, it's done.

It's done.

Okay, thank you, bye.

Jesus.

Fuck man, what do I do?

Just don't do it now.

Wait, you think he'll do
something with that video?

I don't know, man.

I don't trust him,

I think he's a
fascist and a pervert.

Dres?

You need to tell me that
this is all worth it.

It is.

We oppose as
a continual threat to peace.

These are the contrasting
points of view

between the major antagonist.

As a creature, not a God,

but of the state.

The state will run
his life for him.

His political life,

his business life,

his social life.

I don't know man, this
pervert across the street's

got me all fucking paranoid.

I'm not feeling good, I
don't like any of this.

I feel like the
cops are after me.

I feel like the
government's after me.

I feel like everyone's after me.

I feel like people watch me.

I feel like Derek's after me.

I feel like everything
is not going my way,

it's not very Mondo.

I do not like it,
It's not groovy.

This whole situation
is making me feel like

the rats are not
only in the attic,

they're in my head, you know.

They're in my brain,
they're in my eyes,

they're in my fingertips,

and I feel like I'm gonna
lose my fucking mind.

From this belief

in man as a responsible being,

all the beliefs and his
other qualifications

which we accept,

usually even without
bothering to think about them,

as parts of that
vague condition,

which we call the American way.

His ability, indeed his right

to explore the
truth in all things.

His ability to govern himself.

I am for peace.

When I speak,

they are for war.

Lock 'em and load 'em.

Ever since you told
me you got a facial,

all I can see in my
nose are these pores.

Yeah, you
can see 'em, right?

You gotta get rid of that shit.

It's under here.

Yeah.

Think about it.

That's the only thing
I see.

You gotta have that cleaned.

This blow better be good, man.

Your fate, destination,
is on your right.

Man.

The man from heaven.

I would recommend
something on.

30 rounds, full automatic.

M-16 style, for a little
bit more distance,

a little more accurate.

I would definitely highly
recommend a Mossberg shotgun.

Maybe something small like this,

you put it in the back pocket.

What do we
got going on over here?

These are special.

The best defense against tyranny
is a well-armed populace.

See where this guy is looking

at the business end of the gun,

that's the wrong end of the gun.

You don't want to put
that next to your face.

Isn't that right?

That's right.

Beautiful day.

Beautiful day.

About time, sunshine.

Whoa whoa whoa

Shh.

Beef stick?

Hey wait.

Take this instead.

What the fuck is this?

Just try it out.

Do I snort this?

No, put it in wine
or water or tea.

I can snort this.

Yeah, snort it.

Actually yeah, snort it.

I can snort this.

It's just one line.

One line.

I-I-I-don't-

I don't know what you're saying.

I don't speak Polish.

Hey Ted.

Yesterday, you left
your bag of coke here.

It's not coke, it's sugar.

I'm hypoglycemic.

Where is it?

I don't care where it is.

Just pick a place.

Of course, of course.

Alright, look.
I'll pick a time and date.

And when you get the table,

just make sure it's for three.

Dres is my new manager.

Wednesday.

You want me to paint?

Well I can't paint.

I can't paint any more.

But you, you are,

the blind painter.

Hi.

I thought you said your
manager was gonna be here?

The new guy.

It's just us, so did
you talk to the director?

Don't do the Spanish thing.

Okay?

Yeah, you're right.

I don't know why did that shit.

Listen, the
director's an asshole

and won't budge, all right?

The more I push it, the
more she wants to recast.

The more I defend you, the more
she thinks I'm against her.

So I'm in a tight spot here,
I need you to help me out.

Let's figure this
thing out, please.

You're in a tight spot?

It's me that's on screen.

My likelihood, my face.

Yeah, but we need you
in Atlanta in three days.

I'm not gonna be in Atlanta
in three fucking days.

You sign a contract,
you read the script.

You say yes, you show up,

you flash that
pretty smile yours,

and we all move along.

You make a paycheck and go.

Flash that pretty smile?

This is my fucking life, okay?

I'm not just gonna
walk onto set and go,

hey, let's make a
movie about aliens.

I fucking hate aliens.

So I need to, I need to regroup.

I need you to change the lines.

Okay, cause that's your job.

And I don't see why
that's so fucking bad.

I am doing my job,
that's why I'm here.

I need you to do your job
and show up and deliver.

Okay?

You're making a lot
of money for this.

I have one million
followers on Instagram.

I get thousands of dollars

for posting a picture of me
fucking brushing my teeth.

What the fuck are
you talking about?

Do you make
money for literally

just pretending to
drink a smart water?

Do you make money for
walking a Yorkie named Paul,

who has an Instagram following?

Do you make money for
stepping outside your door

and taking a photo in
front of a palm tree,

wearing a shirt
that says Nevada?

Do you make money for
sitting outside your pool,

sleeping all day?

I have a photographer come
to take pictures of me

- sleeping.
- Okay, that's enough.

I don't think you're
understanding this.

It's like I shit money.

I can just pay
off this contract,

I don't have to do it.

My manager and I read
the script more closely

and we think the lines
are fucking shitty.

A two-year-old
could've written them.

So let's change them, I don't
see what the problem is.

I think we're done here.

One, a few days,
you can't just, no.

- No.
- Okay.

No.

My manager will email you
the rest of my requests,

'cause I might add some
fucking more, okay?

Oh great, please,
just pile on your list.

Yeah, all right.

It was nice to see you, okay?

Oh, and by the way?

Yeah.

You have some
cocaine on your nose.

It's sunscreen.

Baby rats from the attic.

Bourne Idenity soundtrack.

Great to drive to.

You know what,
tell the director,

and just fuck 'em.

Paloma's the fuckin' money!

It's Ted.

Scene 42, the line's changing.

Make it happen.

No questions. Bye.

Let's go get some
cocktails, baby.

Yeah, let's cruise man.

Yeah!

What is there like
even in Arkansas anyway?

I think it will be fun, Dres.

I know a UPM there
who has a hookup.

We'll survive.

Hello?

That's not gonna work for me.

I actually noticed that Miles

had three times the
per diem that I do,

and I'm higher on the call
sheet, so do the math.

All right.

Mm-hmm.

Have a wonderful day.

People these days.

They fucking suck.

Fucking awesome.

In the night,

the playground of the
Titans crosses over

into the dominion
of the Weirdos.

It's a discussion.

We're all talking ideologies
at this get together,

libertarians,
communists, capitalists,

democrats, and conservatives.

And you have
to be in awe of the Weirdos,

the heartbeat of
all things Mondo,

means one must be prepared
for counter-perspectives.

That is how the
counterculture exists.

And if it is to
thrive in Hollywood,

then it must take all
shapes, all sizes.

Boogaloo gate opening.

Welcome to my Boogaloo.

I'm an astrological priestess.

My goal is to
create environments

that spark love, energy,
and healthy debate.

Hey, I'm Caesar.

I met Naya at Diamond 7.

Her discussion's
gonna be amazing.

And as for myself, I
make giant spheres.

I like to find stuff
that speaks to me,

and then speak back to it.

This piece of wood last night

was saying all kinds
of stuff about me

that I didn't super-appreciate.

But then this branch
kind of stepped in,

and that was really nice to
have that backup from this.

And at the end of the day

we started decided
we could all be

in sort of a flowing
argument with each other,

and that would actually
produce something beautiful.

This is my sanctuary,

and these are my
Venice Beach buds.

I don't really hang
out with these people

outside of rollerblading

so I've never actually
seen their feet.

Or I've never seen
them in shoes.

So they might not
even have feet.

You know what I mean?

These are some of
my Antifa friends.

We actually have been following

a Neo-Nazi online,
through Anonymous,

and we have his address.

So today we're gonna vote
on what to do with him.

Let's go check it out.

Hey guys, what's going on?

Eddie, where's the armband?

This is very important.

What's going on?

What's going on?
What's going on?

Come on, come on, come on.

I think they make
us look fascist.

It makes us look very
structured, and there's order.

And we're a uniform team.

Why aren't we
talking about Erickson?

We finally have his address.

I think we should just,

just take a step away
from that for a second

to look at some other
ideas that I have.

I think one would be
there's so many lawsuits

and it's insane, you know.

Malpractice is going on
at Ronald Reagan Center.

I think we should
protest the hospital.

I don't want to
vandalize a hospital.

Okay, we'll move on.

There's what, the veterans
associations have been,

you know, people
have been protesting

veterans associations
for so long because-

- That's not what this is about.

You're not understanding this.

I mean, it's not like
we're protesting veterans.

We're protesting the things
that go on at the VA.

They need to understand
what this is nuts.

I mean, don't-

We finally have
Erickson's address.

Why am I a crazy person?

Am I the only one that cares
about what we're doing?

I care.

We'll take care of Herman.

He's obsessed with Herman.

So we just need to make
him feel uncomfortable.

We need to kind of, you know,

get rid of his social
media activity.

What are some ideas?

Kick him in the knees.

I like that, actually.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Not not right now, no I'm sorry.

1966.

16th Street.

You were never on 16th Street.

That's right, we were there,

I'll never forget it.

Why is he standing?

Remember like it
was, what did you say?

Why are you standing?

Because, you're
gonna learn something.

You want to learn something?

Then stop t-

Shut up.

16th Street, there we were.

I remember like
it was yesterday.

And Bill Ayres had
these pins made up.

He got 'em right off the
press, hot off the press,

passed them out to everybody.

Is he even old
enough for that?

He wore this suede bandana

that shined like the San
Francisco Bay at twilight.

You were never on 16th Street.

I was on 16th street
in the year in 1966,

with Noam Chomsky,
and Bill Ayres,

and he wore a suede bandana.

Just sit down, just calm down.

Get water or something.

What about you two?

Are you guys got
anything going on here?

What's going on?

Todd, you're just sitting
there doing nothing.

Todd, Todd, do something.

Oh do you want to go first or?

No, just go.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'm sure.

I can't deal with
you two, either.

This little weird little
thing you guys got going on.

It makes me feel uncomfortable.

There's these
spools in Echo Park,

and Erickson usually
parks his car downhill,

so it's sort of on a slant.

So I was thinking maybe
we could get these spools

and throw them at his car.

No, I don't think
that's a good idea.

I think spools is a dumb idea.

It's sending a message,

but it's also a
little pragmatic,

and you know we're
not getting, you know,

into criminal trouble.

How about we blow
up his fricking car?

Please, this is insane.

Why is that insane?

I think that's a great idea.

He's gonna know that
we're watching him,

and he's gonna start posting

all that frickingat
bullshit on social media.

I think we're gonna
go with the spools.

Yeah, it's just a
political discussion

where everyone gets together.

I am not
sitting in the same room

as a Trump supporter.

Political discussion where
everyone gets together.

I'm sorry, I can't sit

in the same room as a communist.

Discussion?

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

I like conversations
that are actually

the massive
linguistic difference.

I'm sorry, we're not
attending, I'm sorry.

It kind of like roams free.

You're controlling it.

Well yeah, it's the paradox.

You know, there's a
paradox is a paradox.

I am the paradox.

I can't do this.

Naya, I need your help.

Oh, oh my God.

Caesar!

How's your back?

I'll be fine, after
a little carving.

Do you think having
mushrooms at the discussion

is gonna have people
not take me seriously?

No, some of the world's most
influential, powerful people

eat mushrooms on the regular.

You know, they're not
mutually exclusive.

You want to have impact,

have impact in all
spheres of your life.

Don't limit your impact.

Hey?

Hey, yeah, I texted
you a couple of times.

Did you get?

Shrooms are looking Mondo.

I just called to remind you

that I'm gonna see you at
the protest tomorrow, right,

with the mushrooms
that I ordered?

9am sharp.

I'm on top of it,
I'm a business guy.

I don't screw up anymore.

I'm-

- Bye.

Hi, how you doing sir?

Hey.

We're getting complaints
about your car over here,

or hose inside your car.

What's that about?

I was gonna gas the
rats out of my attic.

Oh really?

And how are you gonna do that
with that hose on your car?

I was gonna-same way humans
kill themselves.

I was gonna
run exhaust.

Okay, I find that
a little strange.

I don't know man,
this neighbor Derek,

he's got the cops involved now.

They showed up at my house.

Nah man, you can't
have police around.

I haven't even
done anything.

I just ran a hose from
the exhaust to the attic.

Didn't turn the power on.

Wasn't gassing anything.

A man can do that.

Yeah, no harm
there, case closed.

How's your kafta?

Good.

I got Manny on delivery, man.

I'm doing things differently.

I'm showing up.

I'm going to tell someone
I'm gonna sell them drugs

at 9:00 a.m., and guess what?

I'm gonna call them at 8:59.

Another
bottle of wine gentlemen?

No, thanks. I think we're
gonna have a white night.

Is someone at the door?

How can I help you today, sir?

I didn't call the police.

Did somebody call
the police on me?

Got a call.

Me, I'm good.

Okay, all right sir.

- Well, have a good day.
- Okay.

Bye, take care.

- Thank you.
- Bye.

Hey Boyle, this is Naya.

Hi, I'm on Sixth and
Spring, where are you?

I'm on my way, 15 minutes.

Yeah, I'm in the car.

See you in 15 minutes.

Drugs
are menacing our society.

They're threatening our values-

We gotta go.

All right, let's go.

What's your damage?

I gotta.

Get your fucking
jacket on man.

I'm covered in filth.

Where the fuck are you?

It's, we're uh,

is it on?

I was walking
around for an hour

trying to find you.

We're on our way,
we're on our away.

We're almost there.

We're there, we're almost there.

Bye.

Where is it?

I don't know.

If you don't want to come sir,

why do you want him to be
the only one with guns?

Man, that is not nice,
I'm here.

There's no reason
to flip me off.

Where are you?

I'm outside at Sixth and Spring,

I'm outside of the protest.

I'm the only one with pink hair.

Where the hell were you?

I don't know,

I'm really freaked
out right now.

Why?

I don't know.

Since you're here
are you gonna help me?

No no no no no no.

You said you were.

I haven't slept.

Okay fine.

I don't know, maybe I'm
too much in my head about it,

but I'm just,

I'm just worried that
it's just gonna be

some small gathering
where no one shows up.

Well, I'm worried
I'm not gonna be able

to shit for two weeks
because of my back.

I don't know, maybe
I should just join

some big political organization

where I'm bound to have a
large impact, or something.

Naya, I think there's
enough morons out there

that you don't need to do that.

You're great, you're wonderful.

Bring your own spark,

bring your own energy
to the discussion.

I don't know.

To feel my heart pin my ego

for one open
timeless was moment,

and the strange uncomfortable
space it created

experience all joy,

add some movement.

Hi Naya, I know I said

I could attend the discussion,

but I don't think I can
anymore, I'm so sorry.

That was the worst
idea Todd ever had.

We didn't even
hit the right car.

Deviled eggs,

so delicious.

The car's done,
the car's done.

No, it's not done.

We need to do what I've
been saying all along.

We blow up his fricking car.

It's the perfect idea.

He's gonna get freaked out.

He's gonna leave town.

We're not gonna
hurt him or anybody.

We're just gonna
hurt his dumb car.

We gotta stick to
the original plan

doing social media

and then getting a
presence out there,

this kind of stuff.

Noam Chomsky
loved deviled eggs.

Emmanuel stop.

You shouldn't shout like that.

Okay, thanks.

Your obsession with social media

is making us look
crazier and crazier.

It's what the media
wants us to look like.

We don't need to
be on social media.

What are you accusing
me of, comrade?

Eat a Dick.

You're leaving?

Yeah, Todd?

I'm coming.

Fuck you, Todd.

You frivolous little weasel.

Don't come too close.

I remember Noam
Chomsky telling me.

I told him something that he
tells me still to this day.

And what he said,

was what I said to him
is what he said to me.

And what I told him,
is what he told me.

And he told him, he told him.

and I told him this.

Milk is good.

But, cream is great.

Emmanuel, shut the fuck up.

I mean, everything's
just falling apart, here.

They leave and it's
just me and you like,

this is terrible.

Terrific!

You're gonna be terrific,

when you shut the fuck up
Emmanuel, how about that?

Get the fuck out.

Hey, what's up Boyle?

It's Ceas.

Hey, a favor to ask.

Can you come grab this
big sphere for my friend?

Yeah, yeah, it's like
stressing Naya out.

All right, cool man, thank you.

Sometimes smaller is better.

How's your back?

I think it might be broken.

Good Mondo.

I want to add tears

with our drinks, our
holistic peace medicine,

AKA magic mushrooms, so cheers.

Something we're
here to talk about

is Trump versus the
intelligence agencies,

and now this shift.

Being a Republican I
traditionally support

our intelligence agencies.

Being a veteran and
the wife of a veteran,

I'm very disappointed
that we invaded Iraq,

for basically nothing.

It's convenient for the left

to trust the CIA now,

and it's convenient for
the right to distrust them.

So it's politics.

Now who is always being hurt?

Poor people.

I think I took too much

of that potion.

I mixed a bottle
of, it's part water,

part liquid antacid and make
some liquid antacid water.

And I call it L-A-W, law.

So we can, we can just
put it on our eyes,

and be a pepper spray.

Here, I made it for you.

Thanks.

All right.

Okay.

Just like take a breath,
don't be a creep.

Oh.

Like we have to do that.

Yeah, no I didn't.

I didn't mean to be creepy.

This is the road that
we're gonna be on, okay.

And this is where
Herman's car is parked.

It's always parked here,
in this corner right here.

You see it.

It was simple.

And then here's you
with your dumb hair,

and here's me and okay.

And then you're gonna be holding

the Molotov cocktails, okay?

Hold them close to you.

They're very dangerous.

And like, I don't want
them to near my hair.

And then what's gonna happen is,

we're just gonna casually
stroll over to the car,

just walk.

I'm gonna light these,

and then we're gonna
throw them at the car,

and then we have 30
seconds, and then, bam!

Explosion!

Explosion, fire!

And then you're gonna go east,

and I'm gonna go west,

and then that's gonna
be that for that.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, I mean, I
can also go west.

No.

Oh, for like safety
we'll split up?

Yeah, it's for safety.

Cool, it sounds like a plan.

What, it doesn't sound
like a plan, it is a plan.

We're not planning a surprise
party for your grandma, Todd.

Yeah, no no,
that's what I meant.

I just been like, I feel
like it's a good plan.

It's a good plan.

I'm excited to do this.

Okay, you're excited?

Yeah, I like to blow
stuff up with you.

- I really like you.
- I hate you.

Capitalism when truly
tried, never fails,

it works all the time.

This capitalistic system
that's purely based off,

you know what?

Everything starts to funnel
its way up to the top.

I seriously ask does that
give you more choices or not?

You think that
any of this matters

unless we find the narwhals.

Okay, so the year is
1955, Dimitri Mischkin,

working for the Russian
government, right?

You have this problem, right?

You can't put the subs,

you can't put the nukes
on the subs anymore.

So they create NARWALS.

navel, atomic, radio wave
hidden, autonomous logic systems,

that swim around,
no one can tell

that they're fucking nukes.

And then you have, you
your little tusks, right?

The tusks how they
get the information

from both Russia and the US.

Dimitri comes to the US,

brings all that information
to the American government.

We all have to be hoping

that Trump and Putin
actually get along,

because that's the only chance
we have of finding them all.

That's where it's coming from.

It's all coming
up to the surface,

into the clouds,
man, making it rain.

He made a promise,

he made a campaign promise
to overturn Roe v Wade,

and we are now at
the precipice of that.

Then there
was the Green Party,

then there was democrats.

That's our five parties.

What would end up happening is,

they'd all have about
20-something percent.

and then the
tea parties...

Why
is everyone looking at me?

Reciprocal, reciprocal,

reciprocal,
reciprocal, reciprocal.

Reciprocal.

Reciprocal.

I love the word, reciprocal.

Reciprocal, such
an important word.

Reciprocal, reciprocal,

reciprocal, a word
that you're gonna hear

more and more coming
from this administration.

I would right
now in the State Senate.

Bye guys.

Fucking narwhals, be careful.

These are heavier than
I thought they'd be.

I feel like they're
splashing on me.

Shut the fuck up.

They're spilling on me.

Stop.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I, I can't do this.

I mean, I have a weak
constitution, I'm sorry.

Hope they got the
message.

What's up, Boyle?

Hey Daphne.

Far out.

The energy,
the ambition, the rejection,

the joy and jubilation,
the Dreamers.

Have you been crying?

I'm practicing lines.

We all dream, don't we?

Tell me about this,
I want your feedback.

Oh, totally.

Will it knock me out?

So what are you
boys up to, tonight?

Cubs-Dodgers game.

Baseball.

Go Dodgers.

Go Cubs.

Bye.

My grandmother.

She was an actress, too.

Actually, she was the
stand in for Grace Kelly

in the movie, "High
Society" with Bing Crosby,

and they became
really good friends.

She never made it though.

Pretty sure I'm the last
one left with her headshot.

Oh, that's my manager.
One second.

Hi, Xander.

Xander, over here.

Smile, Xander, smile.

Here at the BGA viewing
party for the Academy Awards.

You know, I don't
have any clients

in there this year.

Had a lot of clients up
for the roles, though.

You know, which is a good thing.

Filming, we're good friends.

Can I get a vodka, please?

I'm fine.

You're nothing in this town
without your representation,

and you know,

I'm really lucky to
have Xander Hischier.

My name is Barry Shay,
and I'm a personal trainer,

and that helps me a lot
to stay in the game.

You better have your shit
together, excuse my language.

But that's the only way
you're gonna have a chance

to get your big break.

Okay?

But if you're a fat,
out-of-shape person,

how you gonna have a future?

This is only for the
fittest and the strongest.

With a healthy mind
and a healthy body,

nothing can stop you.
Nothing.

I believe that.

Let's begin.

What's the matter with you?

I'll kill myself
the same way soon.

I hardly recognize you.

I hardly recognize you.

You've changed towards
me, your eyes are so cold.

My presence embarrasses you.

What does that mean?

I was vile enough to
kill a seagull today.

I lay it at your feet.

What's the matter with you?

One full order of
Singapore Street Noodles.

A few months from now,
this is gonna be a gym.

Right there.

Barry's Gym, a glittering sign.

Come on in.

Let's get some lights on.

Me and the Missus, we talked
about this all the time.

I just didn't have enough money,

but now I got the money honey,

and we're gonna have
this place up in no time.

You know?

Right here, in Hollywood.

Can you believe it, man?

We'll put a punching
bag over here, right?

Thinking of kettle
bells over here, right?

Exclusive Hollywood
stars, right?

This place ain't no
dive, man, no no.

I hardly recognize you.

You've changed towards
me, your eyes are so cold.

You're either looking
at the dead bird

or at his
stupid face.

Hey, look at his
stupid fucking face.

Look at that stupid
fucking face.

Look at his stupid fucking face.

I don't have to
take this anymore!

I was on "Mad About You" for,

with Paul Reiser and Helen
Hunt, for two seasons.

Do you think they hired me

because I delivered my
lines looking at my feet?

I am a real actress.

I enjoy it.

I revel in it.

I am intoxicated on the stage.

I feel beautiful there.

And Mad About You
fucking sucks!

Kara, you're up.

Ken, this is a man on the
verge of killing himself.

I want you to go into the hall,

put that gun in your mouth,

and think about blowing
your dumb fucking head off.

This show is so fucking good.

Hey Armen.

Barry.

Meet over here.

Listen, money's coming in

a little slow right
now, you know.

It's Hollywood property.

It's very hot.

Barry, you're a champion.

I know you'll get the money.

How much do you have right now?

Today?

Look, you're in
business man, right?

You know how this goes,
I'll pay you back.

You're a good man, and
I love business idea.

How much do you have right now?

Look, I can get it, okay?

Just please don't sell it, okay.

I'm gonna get you a
check for $30,000.

So as long as you get me the
money, I hold the property.

Sure.

Hey Espar, Espar.

did I ever tell you
about my running race

in Central Park in 1986?

This was a 10 miler.

Yeah, them were the days.

Well, now I'm still running,
and I'm still in the game.

Hey Boyle, I need to
ask you something.

What's up?

You know that gym I had
my eye on all this time,

well I finally found
the place, it's great,

but I need some more clients.

Can you refer me some?

- Yeah.
- Yeah?

Oh yeah.

That'd be great,

we'll get 'em all in the gym,

we'll get them to losing weight,

and it'll be a good thing, man.

They drink too much soda.

Oh yeah, they drink all
that crap, it's crazy.

All that corn syrup
stuff and fat.

Yeah, yeah.

I don't drink it anymore.

Yeah, well you know what?

I got $25,000 already,
but I need 5,000 now.

You need 5,000?

I need 5,000.

You want me to lend it to you?

Can you do that?

Oh yeah!

All right.

That'd be awesome.

I appreciate that.

Anything for you, Barry.

Hey Armen?

Here it is!

It's Barry, the champion!

You are good businessman.

You are man of your word.

Damn right I am.

Hey Armen?

It's Barry again.

Talk to you later.

Hey, this guy is really big.

He must be major player.

He's always on the phone,
never returns my calls.

All right, bye.

Property not listed.

Oh shit, Espar, Espar
did you hear that?

These yokels at the
bank are telling me

the property's not listed.

Hey Armen?

Some mix-up at the bank.

Barry, oh...

There is always
mix up at the bank.

The information's all wrong.

Yes, red tape.

I want to see
the property, okay?

Property is
unavailable, it's sold.

What? I gave you the money.

You gave me the
money to hold it.

Someone came with better offer.

I gave you the
money to hold it.

You gave me chump change.

Someone came with better offer.

I take offer.

It was all the money I had.

You're a sad man.

And your idea was stupid.

You know what?

You fuckin' asshole.

Fuck you, pal.

Okay, fuck you.

Barry, leave me now.

Don't embarrass yourself.

Asshole.

What do you think, Comet?

I didn't get it.

I didn't get the part.

Don't bite, mommy.

I have something to show you.

What am I gonna do, huh?

What can I do now?

Shit.

When in wait, I cried
the dream again.

Ladies and gentlemen,
grandson of great, Bing Crosby,

Bill Crosby, Junior.

Hey Boyle?

I'm here.

I got a big time investor

looking into Barry's
Gym, big time.

- Big time?
- Yeah, yeah.

- That's awesome.
- Yeah, you bet.

You know what?

You're gonna have
your money next week.

I'm not
worried about it.

What the hell is
going on up there?

There are rats in the attic.

Rats?

Yeah, a lot of them.

You got rats up there?

Yeah, a whole family.

Why don't you do
something about it?

Come on.

I was, but I'm on a,
I'm on a new path now.

I don't know, man.

I'm having these visions,

and I think I might just
live with these rats.

I just kinda thought
I need my ways

to not be so fucking
negative all the time.

You got damned
rats in the attic.

The world don't
just stop.

And fix your problems.

You got to do something.

I guess so, but
I'm telling you-

No, no, no, no.
You're not telling me anything.

Listen kid, you got to
get your mind right, okay?

You think I ask the
world to fix my problems?

When things go sour at
the gym, no way, Jose.

Not me, you get the wrong guy.

You better get up there
and fix that yourself.

Come on.

It's only for you man,
I love you, come on,

I want you to get right.

Please.

Shit.

Come on Espar, let's
get out of here.

Derek, it's your
neighbor, Boyle.

Hey man, I just want to talk.

Boyle, across the street.

The guy gassing the rats.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Oh no.

Daphne!

I'm going to jail.

Like that's what's gonna happen.

No, no no no no, we got it.

I've been in this
situation before.

You're not going to jail.

We're gonna make sure
you don't go to jail.

We can, we'll figure it out.

You've been in this
situation before?

No, Derek and Roger Stone,

two fucking peas in a
fucking dick nose pod.

God damn it.

Who's Roger Stone?

I don't know, ever heard
of a guy named Satan?

He's worse than Satan.

He worked for Nixon,

and then in the 90's he
found his ultimate candidate.

Yeah, fricking Trump.

He's the one that convinced
Trump to run for office.

And now, now I don't
know what he's doing.

He's probably just like
eating cupcakes and cookies,

running fake social
media accounts,

astroturfing.

Derek was a wolf in
sheep's clothing.

I fricking knew something
was off with that guy.

I think we should
protest the hospital.

I think we should
go out and protest

the veterans associations.

They think they all look great.

I'm going to jail.

I know what to do.

This is a heist.

Of course I'm involved.

I've been wanting to
make a heist movie

since I saw "Asphalt Jungle."

I mean, heist movies
are the pinnacle

of the American experience.

You've got flash,
you've got bang,

romance, fortune,
you've got it all.

And this, this needs production.

This heist needs production.

That's where I come in,

because I produce
results, I'm a producer.

Want laundry? I can produce it.

You need a meal?
I can produce one.

Do you need something stolen
from your neighbor's house?

I can produce it.

We're gonna rid Derek's place

of anything incriminating
on all of us.

How much time do we have?

Like an hour and a half.

And what happens if
he gets home early?

What's your plan then?

No plan.

What's your plan?

Give us a plan.

We need a distraction.

You've never been
to Venice before.

You've just been mugged.

You don't know
where to go, okay?

Hi, oh my God, I'm so sorry.

My phone just died.

I'm not from here.

Okay, listen here.

Paveway Pictures
conference line.

If you get disconnected,

I've texted you
the number and pin.

Okay, now here's the plan.

According to Daphne,

he'll be leaving at
approximately four p.m.

I'll be stationed
close, watching.

But once we know he's gone,

clock is up,

Anna, are we clear?

All clear.

We go.

Daphne will break
into Derek's house.

All right, luck on our side,

We've got a solid hour-15.

Copy.

Boyle, you get
the car ready to go,

and begin the gassing.

That's the key time sync.

Update, all clear.

This is kind of fun.

What the fuck are you doing?

- Huh?
- What the fuck are you doing?

Get in position.

You're supposed to
be doing the gassing.

I'm in.

With the gas going,
your priority would be

to assist Daphne
inside the house.

Daphne, tell Boyle to
put his headphones on.

Daphne will hack
Derek's computer,

and proceed to scrub it clean.

I'm in.

Yeah, we can hear you.

Put your headphones
in, Ted's freaking out.

Voluntary institutions
of civil society

that provided social services,

medical care and education

were deliberately targeted for
destruction, in some cases.

Were normal words
coming out of my mouth?

I just hear gibberish.

Just please.

Can you put that down,
and stick to the plan?

What's the plan?

Just get rid of that.

Boyle will get
rid of all the photos

and all the physical
evidence lying around.

Once you're both done
with those tasks,

we move on to phase two.

Boyle, you finish cleaning up,

and you run back across the
street to finish the gassing.

Daphne, you hurry
up and get out.

Anna will wait on standby,

and you give the first heads
up, or run any interference.

Anna, we clear?

We're clear.

Copy.

Gassing looks good, no leakage,

definitely still going.

He's on time.

10-4, roger that, copy
you, copy you, copy you.

One, two, three.

Change of plans, I'm gonna
have to destroy the hard drive.

No time, no time
and unnecessary.

That's not part of the plan.

Okay well yeah,
that's what I'm doing.

So, and you need
to just fuck off.

Can you hear that?

Hear what?

Where'd you go?

Where are
you going?

Boyle, status?

Guys, I need to find this,
there's, I'm having a feeling.

What? No,
no, no, no, no.

What are you doing?

No, you need to get your
ass back over to the car.

The gassing should
be almost done.

He's coming.

I think it's him.

It's him, it's him.

He's wearing a green helmet.

Distract him.

Anna, you're a
fucking star today.

Boyle, Daphne.

Guys, I'm back.

The hard drive has been
successfully destroyed.

I have no idea where Boyle
is or what he's doing.

If you can hear
me, wrap it up.

Let's go.

I'm sorry, my
phone's dead too.

Putting up the prize.

Maybe I could get your number,

and we could talk
at a later date?

My phone's dead.

I don't know. How would I
get your number?

That makes no sense.

You can tell me, I actually
have a photographic memory.

Boyle?

I'm coming.

Okay, hurry up.

I'm leaving now.

Okay.

And then you take a left,
and you go about a mile,

and you'll see the
ocean, the Pacific Ocean.

Is it an obvious left,

or one of those lefts that's
kind of like sneaky, you know?

A sneaky left?

Yeah, like somehow
the roads are curved.

What's sneaky, I don't know
what it means, a sneaky left.

All right guys, I'm exiting.

I gotta go now.

I gotta go.

Cutting the gas.

Really, this is just too much.

Please, please, please,
I just need more exact direction

Oh watch out for
the pool cleaners.

Here boy, it's me.

It's me, it's me
Zappo, come here.

I know.

You gotta get out,
you have maybe 10 seconds.

Boyle, he's coming up
the stairs right now.

You're not groovy, man.

Perhaps I'm not.

Ah,
things seem right again

at the old Boyle house.

I'll walk you out, man.

So what, you're leaving?

I'm going
back to the bulk.

Can I come?

I'm
afraid you cannot.

Is it groovy?

It is.

All right.

I have one
more thing to say to you.

What's that?

Thank you.

Oh no, thank you, man.

I'm gonna miss you.

I'll
miss you too, Boyle.

Yeah yeah yeah.

Groovy.

Boyle indeed, is
the man who knows.

Perhaps I was skeptical at
first, but he does know.

He knows Mondo.

The language, the
true cosmic language.

A little piece of this Earth.

A space bound to time.

Even if this land of Hollywood

were to vanish into
oblivion in an instant,

and this happened tomorrow,
it's legacy would never leave.

Forever, there
will be The Titan,

The Weirdo,

The Dreamer,

and so forever there
will be Hollywood.

Forever groovy, forever

Mondo.

Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull