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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
2
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[keyboard typing]
3
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[metallic click]
4
00:00:21,322 --> 00:00:24,056
[fluorescent lights buzzing]
5
00:00:24,058 --> 00:00:26,058
[keyboard typing]
6
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[♪ Reto: "All Day andThrough the Night" ♪]
7
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♪ Uh huh ♪
8
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♪ Hey ♪
9
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:39,371
♪ We got to get started ♪
10
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♪ We got to make it right ♪
11
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♪ We're gonnakeep on going ♪
12
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♪ All day and to the night ♪
13
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♪ You know wegot to work it ♪
14
00:00:52,119 --> 00:00:55,087
♪ We really gotta move ♪
15
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♪ We had a will to do it ♪
16
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♪ We got the attitude ♪
17
00:01:01,529 --> 00:01:03,462
♪ All right ♪
18
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:06,265
♪ We got to,We got to get it started ♪
19
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:09,501
♪ We got to make it work,work, gonna keep it going ♪
20
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:11,403
♪ We got to get started ♪
21
00:01:11,405 --> 00:01:13,205
♪ We got to get started ♪
22
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:15,674
♪ We're going all dayand to the night ♪
23
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♪♪
24
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♪ We gotta get it ♪
25
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♪ I said let's go ♪
26
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,219
♪ We gotta get it ♪
27
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♪♪
28
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♪ I said come on ♪
29
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♪ All right ♪
30
00:01:35,229 --> 00:01:37,162
♪ I said, I said,I said, come on ♪
31
00:01:37,164 --> 00:01:38,697
♪♪
32
00:01:38,699 --> 00:01:42,101
♪ Hey ♪
33
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:44,670
♪ We got to get it started ♪
34
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♪ We're gonna keep it goingall day and to the night ♪
35
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[music fades into
dance track]
36
00:01:51,579 --> 00:01:54,480
we're at the One-Eyed
Gypsy one night, right?
37
00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,514
We're a little bit ripped.
38
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:56,815
No, we were hammered.
39
00:01:56,817 --> 00:01:59,151
I was buzzed, he was
hammered. Whatever.
40
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,319
We were ready
for a little bit of action,
41
00:02:00,321 --> 00:02:04,523
We just came from, uh,
80s night at 107.
42
00:02:04,525 --> 00:02:06,859
We were in a...
43
00:02:06,861 --> 00:02:09,394
Echo and the Bunnymen,
do you know that band?
44
00:02:09,396 --> 00:02:11,363
No, what do they sing?
45
00:02:11,365 --> 00:02:13,532
Uh...oh!
46
00:02:13,534 --> 00:02:15,367
[sings tune of song
unrecognizably]
47
00:02:15,369 --> 00:02:18,504
How the fuck am I supposed
to tell what song that is?
48
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:19,805
Dude, you know what?
Fuck off.
49
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:21,607
I'm an actor, not a singer.
All right?
50
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:24,143
Anyway. Pete and I decided
51
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:25,344
we were just going to go for
it with the ladies.
52
00:02:25,346 --> 00:02:26,645
Maybe you shouldn't
tell this.
53
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:30,315
It's okay. I love hearing
about your past.
54
00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:31,183
You do?
55
00:02:31,185 --> 00:02:34,353
Of course. I love you.
56
00:02:34,355 --> 00:02:37,256
- And I love you.
- Hmm.
57
00:02:37,258 --> 00:02:39,291
[loud kissing]
58
00:02:39,293 --> 00:02:40,425
Anyway.
59
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,261
So we're doing our thing.
60
00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,696
Suddenly, I spot
these two Indian babes.
61
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:48,200
Pete later on discovers that
the two Indian babes
62
00:02:48,202 --> 00:02:49,368
are actually Indian dudes.
63
00:02:49,370 --> 00:02:50,836
Oh no no,
that's a different story.
64
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:52,504
Andre used to date
an Indian babe.
65
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:53,572
That's right.
66
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,907
Lovely ladies.
67
00:02:54,909 --> 00:02:56,408
Anyway, I'm telling you.
68
00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:57,843
These fucking chicks were
hot.
69
00:02:57,845 --> 00:02:59,645
One was hot, one was not.
70
00:02:59,647 --> 00:03:00,546
She was cute.
71
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:02,714
You are so fucking
insensitive.
72
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,183
Would you let him
tell the story?
73
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:09,388
So the one sexy Indian chick
and her hairy friend
74
00:03:09,390 --> 00:03:12,291
happen to make eye contact
with us from across the bar.
75
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,660
So I look over
and I, uh, signal them
76
00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,495
to come on over.
77
00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:19,431
And they dance on over you
know Kama Sutra, some shit
78
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:22,201
and the hot one,
she's ready to go.
79
00:03:22,203 --> 00:03:24,870
And Pete here--he thinks
she's coming over to him.
80
00:03:24,872 --> 00:03:27,439
She sits down next to me.
81
00:03:27,441 --> 00:03:30,943
I'm telling you guys,
he's fucking smoking.
82
00:03:30,945 --> 00:03:33,612
you know, starts coming on
to me and shit.
83
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:34,913
Like in what way?
84
00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,415
Well she starts saying
things like...
85
00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,983
You have nice lips.
86
00:03:37,985 --> 00:03:40,452
Is it bad if I want
to kiss you in public?
87
00:03:40,454 --> 00:03:43,422
Bad for who? Not for me.
88
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:45,657
And being the gentleman
that I am.
89
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:49,795
I lean over and I give her
these luscious lips.
90
00:03:49,797 --> 00:03:51,563
Pete and the hairy chick,
they're just watching us.
91
00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:53,332
Finally, Pete says...
92
00:03:53,334 --> 00:03:55,267
Okay. I gotta get up early
for work.
93
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:56,902
Wha-what do you do?
94
00:03:56,904 --> 00:03:58,637
Uh, I'm a trader.
95
00:03:58,639 --> 00:04:02,841
Ohh, mind if I join you?
96
00:04:04,611 --> 00:04:06,645
Lucky for me,
97
00:04:06,647 --> 00:04:08,847
Pete took one for the team.
98
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,482
You had sex with her?
99
00:04:10,484 --> 00:04:11,750
- Oh yeah.
- No. I didn't.
100
00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:12,951
- [scoffs]
- I didn't have se--
101
00:04:12,953 --> 00:04:13,919
Remember the brush burn?
102
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:14,920
Beth! Babe! Wait!
103
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:16,989
Dude, you're such a douche.
104
00:04:16,991 --> 00:04:18,991
Whoops. Anyway.
105
00:04:18,993 --> 00:04:20,826
So, I lean into
the Indian chick.
106
00:04:20,828 --> 00:04:22,995
I'm like, wanna go?
107
00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:24,563
Why not?
108
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:27,266
So she grabs me,
pulls me into the alley.
109
00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:30,369
She says, I want to taste
your hard candy.
110
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:32,704
And I'm like, my what?
111
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:35,540
Your hard candy.
112
00:04:35,542 --> 00:04:39,411
So I'm like, fuck. Savor the
flavor. Taste the rainbow.
113
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:42,581
She gives me the fucking
knob slob right there
114
00:04:42,583 --> 00:04:43,482
in the alley.
115
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:46,652
After that,
we go back to her place,
116
00:04:46,654 --> 00:04:49,421
drag her comforter out,
take it up to the roof,
117
00:04:49,423 --> 00:04:50,689
seal the deal right there.
118
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:54,359
My bare ass exposed
to all of downtown.
119
00:04:54,361 --> 00:04:55,594
Quite pretty.
I got a nice ass.
120
00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,763
Can you use it
in your script?
121
00:04:59,565 --> 00:05:00,065
[snaps fingers] Dean!
122
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:01,600
Hmm?
123
00:05:01,602 --> 00:05:03,302
I'm giving you
fucking gold here.
124
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,636
I'm sorry, man.
125
00:05:04,638 --> 00:05:09,508
Ohh, she's giving you E.
126
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,543
E?
127
00:05:11,545 --> 00:05:13,712
Energy.
128
00:05:13,714 --> 00:05:14,980
It's my new word.
129
00:05:14,982 --> 00:05:17,349
Whatever.
She's giving it to you.
130
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:18,083
No, she's not.
131
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,951
- Andre?
- Serious E, kid.
132
00:05:19,953 --> 00:05:21,520
Capital E, kid.
133
00:05:21,522 --> 00:05:23,355
- Hello.
- [all] Tess!
134
00:05:23,357 --> 00:05:24,089
- Hey.
- Hi, love.
135
00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:26,658
You are looking quite lovely
tonight, Tess.
136
00:05:26,660 --> 00:05:27,726
Yeah, okay. Thanks.
137
00:05:27,728 --> 00:05:30,429
Um, what's the situation?
Hm?
138
00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,064
Well, Dean here was about
to go to work.
139
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:33,498
Would you stop?
140
00:05:33,500 --> 00:05:34,533
Really? Who?
141
00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:35,967
Nothing.
142
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,403
Back?
143
00:05:38,405 --> 00:05:39,438
Oh, blondie?
144
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:43,442
You know what? The dress
is a little slutty, Dean. But...
145
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:45,043
Dean, she's got talent.
146
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:48,447
I would, but I already have
my lady for the night.
147
00:05:48,449 --> 00:05:50,449
Oh yeah? Who's the lucky
girl?
148
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,820
What are you doing?
149
00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:56,355
What's he doing?
150
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:57,622
He's giving you E.
151
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:58,590
E?
152
00:05:58,592 --> 00:05:59,124
E.
153
00:05:59,126 --> 00:06:02,527
Oh. Right.
154
00:06:04,464 --> 00:06:06,698
Uh huh.
155
00:06:09,135 --> 00:06:10,736
I don't think so, buddy.
156
00:06:10,738 --> 00:06:11,937
- All right.
- Oh.
157
00:06:11,939 --> 00:06:13,038
You save me a dance
158
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,606
and I'm gonna go change
this music.
159
00:06:14,608 --> 00:06:15,607
Of course.
160
00:06:15,609 --> 00:06:16,708
[Jay laughs]
161
00:06:16,710 --> 00:06:17,876
Damn, kid.
162
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,611
That was, that was subtle,
man.
163
00:06:19,613 --> 00:06:21,646
Hey, I'm in it to win it. Okay?
164
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:24,516
These people aren't here to
play fuckin' Yahtzee.
165
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,584
They're here to get laid.
166
00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:30,489
Look, all this talking is just
foreplay. It's bullshit.
167
00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:31,156
Back me up, Andre.
168
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:37,062
We were just fulfilling our
primal needs, like cavemen.
169
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,563
Except for in prehistoric
days,
170
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:43,702
They just exchanged a few
grunts and fucked.
171
00:06:43,704 --> 00:06:45,804
So basically, you're saying
that the only difference
172
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:48,640
between us and cavemen is
the evolution of language?
173
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:52,477
Which is ironic because
language is that very thing
174
00:06:52,479 --> 00:06:54,613
that usually gets in the way
of us getting laid.
175
00:06:54,615 --> 00:06:55,981
Pssh. Where do you
come up with this shit?
176
00:06:55,983 --> 00:06:58,083
Little place called the world
wide web, my friend.
177
00:06:58,085 --> 00:06:59,785
- Gay porn.
- Yeah.
178
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,788
Now. Get out there and take
what's yours.
179
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:04,656
Such an asshole.
180
00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:06,158
And see if she's got a friend.
181
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:08,026
Two friends.
182
00:07:08,028 --> 00:07:11,463
Here we go.
Ah! Ah! Ohh.
183
00:07:11,465 --> 00:07:12,697
[laughs]
184
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:14,466
Hey! Good job!
185
00:07:14,468 --> 00:07:15,700
[laughs]
186
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:19,504
We have an announcement.
187
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,639
Oh yeah? What's that?
188
00:07:20,641 --> 00:07:22,774
We are no longer quarreling.
189
00:07:22,776 --> 00:07:26,144
That's a fucking relief.
190
00:07:26,146 --> 00:07:28,680
[speaking Spanish]
191
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:32,818
Why haven't you not called
me? It's been two days!
192
00:07:32,820 --> 00:07:33,685
[laughs]
193
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:34,853
The kid's been busy.
194
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,221
Well, I can find me
another man.
195
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:38,757
Oh, I know you can, baby.
196
00:07:38,759 --> 00:07:40,559
Baby?
197
00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:41,660
Baby.
198
00:07:41,662 --> 00:07:42,794
Oh, baby.
199
00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:46,231
- Aww. Baby.
- Baby.
200
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:50,735
[loud kissing]
201
00:07:50,737 --> 00:07:51,937
I missed you.
202
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,705
So much.
203
00:07:53,707 --> 00:07:55,874
[clears throat]
204
00:07:55,876 --> 00:07:58,710
Okay. Excuse me.
205
00:07:58,712 --> 00:07:59,978
Taxi!
206
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,713
Taxi!
207
00:08:01,715 --> 00:08:03,582
Jesus.
208
00:08:03,584 --> 00:08:05,851
What happened
to my dance?
209
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,786
I had to get out of there.
210
00:08:07,788 --> 00:08:09,588
You never dance with me.
211
00:08:09,590 --> 00:08:11,723
I think you'll get over it.
212
00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:12,824
[clears throat]
213
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:16,027
Sara's a crutch, Dean.
214
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,830
Who said I was going to
Sara's?
215
00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,066
Uh huh. Where are you
going then?
216
00:08:23,069 --> 00:08:25,170
Uh huh. Okay, you know
what? Whatever.
217
00:08:25,172 --> 00:08:26,771
You've been warned.
218
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,540
And you know that I love
you for it.
219
00:08:28,542 --> 00:08:29,674
Mhmm.
220
00:08:30,276 --> 00:08:32,711
Contact.
221
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,813
- Bye, babe.
- Bye.
222
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:43,622
[intercom]Next stop, Union Station.
223
00:08:46,726 --> 00:08:49,160
Are you really going toSara's, Dean?
224
00:08:51,297 --> 00:08:53,865
Seriously, dude?She's kind of a ho.
225
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:59,671
Look to your right, Dean.
226
00:08:59,673 --> 00:09:01,273
Excuse me?
227
00:09:01,275 --> 00:09:02,807
Look to your right.
228
00:09:05,044 --> 00:09:07,679
That is love.
229
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,782
Are you lonely?
230
00:09:17,089 --> 00:09:18,990
That's because you're alone.
231
00:09:18,992 --> 00:09:20,725
Oh, yes. Yes, yes.
232
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:22,694
[moaning]
Yes, oh yeah!
233
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:23,795
[groans with pleasure]
234
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:28,967
[breathing heavily]
235
00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:30,335
[blows raspberry]
236
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:38,577
- Hey, Sara?
- Yeah?
237
00:09:38,579 --> 00:09:39,711
Have you ever been in love?
238
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,846
You ever think about it
at all?
239
00:09:41,848 --> 00:09:45,584
Just about love. You know,
about being in love.
240
00:09:45,586 --> 00:09:46,985
With you?
241
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:50,221
Oh, not necessarily with me.
Just in general.
242
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:51,723
Not really.
243
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,293
What if I said it?
244
00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,628
Say what?
245
00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:58,163
What, what if I said
I loved you?
246
00:09:58,165 --> 00:09:59,164
Do you?
247
00:09:59,166 --> 00:09:59,998
What if I said it?
248
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:00,932
Why say it?
249
00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:03,835
Cause you wouldn't mean it.
250
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:06,838
Okay, so what if I meant it,
what would you say?
251
00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:07,772
I don't know.
252
00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,873
Think about it.
253
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:13,845
I think we've got a pretty
good thing going on here.
254
00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,280
You do?
255
00:10:15,282 --> 00:10:16,615
Of course I do.
256
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:22,921
[♪ soft music ♪]
257
00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:29,227
♪♪
258
00:10:35,201 --> 00:10:37,268
♪♪
259
00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:45,176
♪♪
260
00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:52,283
♪♪
261
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,692
Huh? Oh, no no.
No thanks, man.
262
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,693
You buy for girl?
263
00:11:01,695 --> 00:11:02,894
Uh, no thanks. No girl.
264
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:05,030
Ah. You buy for boy?
265
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:08,033
No, I buy for a girl.
266
00:11:08,035 --> 00:11:09,901
Ah. You buy for a girl.
267
00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:16,941
All right. Here. Let's see
what I got here.
268
00:11:16,943 --> 00:11:19,878
K. All right. There you go.
269
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,112
Ah. Arigato.
270
00:11:21,114 --> 00:11:22,080
Sure.
271
00:11:25,785 --> 00:11:28,853
[♪ soft music ♪]
272
00:11:32,224 --> 00:11:34,292
♪♪
273
00:12:19,105 --> 00:12:21,172
♪♪
274
00:12:26,245 --> 00:12:29,948
[Dean voice-over]Interior. The Cave. Night.
275
00:12:29,950 --> 00:12:34,119
Pick up with Jakewearing all black,
276
00:12:34,121 --> 00:12:41,092
weaving his waythrough the uber-hip crowd.
277
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:45,430
Another hopeless nightin La La Land.
278
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:48,299
That is until he sees her:
279
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:50,135
A Siren.
280
00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:51,870
Goddess.
281
00:12:51,872 --> 00:12:53,938
A Muse.
282
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:58,143
Call her Kat.
283
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,211
♪♪
284
00:13:05,818 --> 00:13:07,452
I love you.
285
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,020
Are you fucking kidding me?
286
00:13:09,022 --> 00:13:11,389
This dude's gonna tell her
that he loves her
287
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:12,891
even though
they've never met?
288
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,893
No. It's actually
meant to be symbolic
289
00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:16,494
of Jake's need to find love.
290
00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:17,562
Let me rephrase the
question.
291
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:19,998
Does Jake have a vagina?
292
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,232
Oh, you mean
is he a transexual?
293
00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:23,034
Or maybe he's thinking
294
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,003
about becoming
a transexual.
295
00:13:25,005 --> 00:13:27,005
Or maybe he got his deal
lobbed off
296
00:13:27,007 --> 00:13:30,041
before they could dig out
a vag or something.
297
00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,810
Yeah, yeah.
But they left him with a sack.
298
00:13:31,812 --> 00:13:33,178
But with only one ball.
299
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,580
What the fuck
are you guys talking about?
300
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,315
Jake is a dude.
301
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:39,884
Fully equipped.
The most manly of men.
302
00:13:39,886 --> 00:13:40,919
Right.
303
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:42,220
Who wants to fall in love?
304
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,521
So what? There are plenty
of guys are age
305
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:44,589
who are looking for love.
306
00:13:44,591 --> 00:13:45,924
Sure there are.
307
00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:47,125
Name one.
308
00:13:52,331 --> 00:13:54,032
Fuck you guys.
309
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:55,133
Were you just--
310
00:13:55,135 --> 00:13:59,137
- It was a self-point.
- It was a self-point?
311
00:13:59,139 --> 00:14:02,507
Hello. And welcome back to
Here Comes the Bride.
312
00:14:02,509 --> 00:14:05,343
Where our bride to be is
about to ask
313
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:07,312
one last question
314
00:14:07,314 --> 00:14:10,615
before asking the lucky man
to marry her!
315
00:14:10,617 --> 00:14:12,183
Groom number one:
316
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:15,887
What will you do to make
me fall in love with you?
317
00:14:15,889 --> 00:14:18,223
Well, I'm a live life on the
edge kinda guy,
318
00:14:18,225 --> 00:14:20,592
so I think we'd probably do a
lot of skydiving
319
00:14:20,594 --> 00:14:23,194
or bungee jumping or off
roaring in my new
320
00:14:23,196 --> 00:14:24,562
4-wheel drive.
321
00:14:24,564 --> 00:14:27,131
Oh. Ha! I like that.
322
00:14:27,133 --> 00:14:28,433
Groom number two?
323
00:14:28,435 --> 00:14:30,201
Well, since I'm a personal
trainer, my plan is
324
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:34,239
Oh, personal trainer?
That's really original.
325
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,107
Sounds sweaty.
326
00:14:36,109 --> 00:14:40,245
What will you do to make
me fall in love with you?
327
00:14:40,247 --> 00:14:43,281
to make somebody fall in
love with you.
328
00:14:43,283 --> 00:14:46,117
For the simple reason that
love is predestined.
329
00:14:46,119 --> 00:14:48,186
It's about fate.
It's about magic.
330
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,121
It's about are we meant to
be together?
331
00:14:50,123 --> 00:14:53,124
And while I don't know the
future, I can offer you this:
332
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,193
If you're my destiny,
333
00:14:55,195 --> 00:14:57,395
I will love you with
everything that I've got.
334
00:14:57,397 --> 00:15:00,965
[phone rings]
335
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:03,134
Love that answer.
336
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:04,602
Yeah, but he
won't get picked.
337
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:05,503
Do you wanna know why?
338
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:07,405
Hmm. Cause he's a geek?
339
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,440
Well, yeah that, and the fact
that he's losing his hair.
340
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,309
See, the chicks
on this show know exactly
341
00:15:11,311 --> 00:15:12,977
who they're gonna marry
the second the guys
342
00:15:12,979 --> 00:15:15,280
Wait? Are you saying
that people that
343
00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:18,182
go on dating shows
are shallow? Shocking.
344
00:15:18,184 --> 00:15:21,052
to men who have
healthy heads of hair.
345
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,122
It's a sign that
their offspring will survive
346
00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,323
in the next generation.
347
00:15:25,325 --> 00:15:26,925
Genetically speaking.
348
00:15:26,927 --> 00:15:29,193
Are we really qualified
to be speaking genetically?
349
00:15:29,195 --> 00:15:31,696
I wouldn't do so well
on this show.
350
00:15:31,698 --> 00:15:34,299
What are you talking about?
You have a head full of hair.
351
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:35,633
Yeah, but my grandfather
was bald,
352
00:15:35,635 --> 00:15:37,135
so I know it's coming.
353
00:15:37,137 --> 00:15:39,237
Only a finite amount of time
left for me to mate.
354
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,205
What are you, a chimp?
355
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,341
I'm telling you --
it's all over for me.
356
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:46,210
Bald at 25. So tragic.
357
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,645
What? Really?
Wha? I'm bald?
358
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:49,180
I'm kidding, you punk.
359
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:50,315
- Thinning?
- I'm hanging up.
360
00:15:50,317 --> 00:15:51,316
Slightly receding?
361
00:15:51,318 --> 00:15:53,151
All right, neurotic. goodbye.
362
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:58,056
I think I'll marry...
363
00:15:58,058 --> 00:15:59,390
groom number one!
364
00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:01,192
[laughs]
365
00:16:01,194 --> 00:16:06,664
[gameshow audience
cheers, applauds]
366
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:07,031
Douchebag.
367
00:16:11,570 --> 00:16:13,504
So, I'm at the post office,
right?
368
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,306
I find that
I'm two stamps short.
369
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:17,375
Check my wallet.
Bone dry.
370
00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,077
So I turn
to this girl behind me
371
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,479
and beautiful brown eyes,
372
00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:24,048
giving me a little E.
So I say, hey,
373
00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,984
can I borrow two stamps?
374
00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:29,287
But we gotta go back
to my place to get them.
375
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,090
So we go back to her place.
She's mad cash.
376
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:34,492
I'm talking persian cat.
Full cloth...
377
00:16:34,494 --> 00:16:36,294
I'm allergic to cats.
378
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:40,298
So I start petting the cat.
379
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,367
Before you know it,
she joins in, right?
380
00:16:42,369 --> 00:16:45,603
We're both like, vigorously
just petting this cat.
381
00:16:45,605 --> 00:16:47,505
And she says to me,
do you like my cat?
382
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,541
And I'm like,
well, this is perhaps
383
00:16:50,543 --> 00:16:53,044
the finest cat
I have ever petted.
384
00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:55,213
she's working
the high hard fastball.
385
00:16:55,215 --> 00:16:56,614
The high hard fastball?
386
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:57,715
His dick.
387
00:16:57,717 --> 00:16:59,050
My dick.
388
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,184
What are you guys talking
about?
389
00:17:00,186 --> 00:17:02,687
Oh, must be
a short conversation.
390
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:06,224
Uh, two whiskey sours,
okay?
391
00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:10,361
Hm. Why don't you ever
get on that?
392
00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,330
Cause you don't sleep with
your friends, Jay.
393
00:17:12,332 --> 00:17:13,731
Who says?
394
00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:16,267
It's a well documented rule.
395
00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,435
That's your rule, not mine.
396
00:17:17,437 --> 00:17:19,370
Can you just finish
the story, please?
397
00:17:19,372 --> 00:17:20,171
Where was I?
398
00:17:20,173 --> 00:17:26,277
Right! My dick. Anyway, so
she lifts her head up, right?
399
00:17:26,279 --> 00:17:29,447
Looks at me with those baby
blue eyes.
400
00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:30,782
They were brown.
401
00:17:30,784 --> 00:17:34,085
Brown? Blue? Fucking
iridescent! Doesn't matter,
402
00:17:34,087 --> 00:17:35,720
cause I am seeing stars at
this point, gentlemen.
403
00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,555
And you know what she
does?
404
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:42,060
She hands me two stamps.
405
00:17:42,062 --> 00:17:43,628
Damn, kid.
406
00:17:46,198 --> 00:17:49,167
Feel free to use that
in your script.
407
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,102
Oh! What's up, baby?
408
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:03,281
[video game beeping]
409
00:18:05,584 --> 00:18:07,585
So, Jimmy,
how's school going?
410
00:18:10,789 --> 00:18:13,191
Great. That's great.
411
00:18:13,193 --> 00:18:16,194
Ahh, sorry this is so last
minute, Dean.
412
00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,662
Can you believe the deal
with my sitter?
413
00:18:17,664 --> 00:18:19,397
Yeah. Why was she
deported again?
414
00:18:19,399 --> 00:18:21,165
Oh, I don't know. Something
about drugs or prostitution
415
00:18:21,167 --> 00:18:25,336
or something. What did we
learn about video games?
416
00:18:25,338 --> 00:18:26,537
That they lead to an
increase in violence
417
00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,440
Okay, promise you'll be
good for your uncle.
418
00:18:29,442 --> 00:18:32,777
All right, I left money
on the counter for dinner.
419
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:35,246
You guys can get pizza, but
be sure to get a salad, too.
420
00:18:35,248 --> 00:18:36,781
He needs the ruffage.
Oh, but nothing with beans.
421
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,182
He can't process beans.
422
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,150
Just get outta here.
423
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:40,418
All right.
424
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:41,319
Thank you!
You're a life saver.
425
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,154
Sure.
426
00:18:46,258 --> 00:18:50,361
[video game beeping]
427
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:54,632
what's say we do something
educational, actually?
428
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,335
Like what?
429
00:18:57,337 --> 00:19:00,371
I don't know,
why don't I let you decide?
430
00:19:00,373 --> 00:19:02,673
Wrestlemania!
431
00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:05,343
Hey!
432
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:08,446
[Jimmy groaning]
433
00:19:08,448 --> 00:19:11,382
Hey! Hey, are you busy?
434
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,818
Wrestlemania!
435
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,354
Um, can you give me a hand
here? Maybe?
436
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:17,855
[claps]
437
00:19:17,857 --> 00:19:19,824
All right. All right.
You're asking for it.
438
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,927
I don't hear. Is that a mercy?
I don't hear a mercy?
439
00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,562
- Stop! Mercy!
- Do you hear mercy?
440
00:19:24,564 --> 00:19:26,531
I'm not hearing mercy.
At all. Can you?
441
00:19:26,533 --> 00:19:29,200
Are you done?
You're totally done?
442
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,568
- Yes!
- I don't hear it.
443
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,537
- Mercy!
- I can't--
444
00:19:32,539 --> 00:19:33,404
- Mercy!
- Mercy?
445
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:34,305
I have to hear it louder!
446
00:19:34,307 --> 00:19:34,939
Mercy!
447
00:19:34,941 --> 00:19:35,907
Mercy?
448
00:19:35,909 --> 00:19:36,741
Yes.
449
00:19:36,743 --> 00:19:38,743
All right. Okay.
450
00:19:38,745 --> 00:19:42,280
Yay? What do you mean,
yay? It's not over.
451
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:45,416
Are you guys having sex?
452
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,285
- What?
- God, no.
453
00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,253
No.
454
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:52,456
Where did you even learn
that word?
455
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:53,624
Mommy says you used to
date.
456
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:54,859
Oh no. Briefly.
457
00:19:54,861 --> 00:19:56,561
- Yeah, one date.
- Yeah, in college.
458
00:19:56,563 --> 00:19:58,763
We never ever had sex.
459
00:19:58,765 --> 00:20:03,968
Yeah, uh, do you even know
what sex is, Jimmy?
460
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,803
No, explain it.
461
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:08,739
Yes, Dean. Do explain it.
462
00:20:09,908 --> 00:20:12,443
Sex is like ice cream
463
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,412
because you, you only have
it
464
00:20:14,414 --> 00:20:17,615
with people that you really,
really love.
465
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:18,749
Have you ever had ice
cream
466
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:19,517
with someone before?
467
00:20:19,519 --> 00:20:20,785
No.
468
00:20:20,787 --> 00:20:22,320
So you've never been in
love.
469
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:25,456
Yes. That is right.
470
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,425
So do you masturbate?
471
00:20:29,294 --> 00:20:30,595
You owe me. Big time.
472
00:20:30,597 --> 00:20:32,763
I will, I will paint your
friggin' bedroom, okay?
473
00:20:32,765 --> 00:20:36,300
Except I am not doing that
shade of yellow.
474
00:20:36,302 --> 00:20:37,535
- Yes, you are.
- That is disgusting.
475
00:20:37,537 --> 00:20:39,437
Because you owe me.
So figure it out.
476
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:40,471
- All right.
- Just make it work.
477
00:20:40,473 --> 00:20:42,807
Well, thanks again
for everything.
478
00:20:42,809 --> 00:20:44,909
Ride included.
479
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:47,912
Well, note to self: buy a car.
Some day. Please.
480
00:20:47,914 --> 00:20:49,847
And fully commit to LA?
481
00:20:49,849 --> 00:20:52,617
Has your shit gone crazy?
Get out of here.
482
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,485
It's been two years,
you know?
483
00:20:54,487 --> 00:20:56,487
She's not gonna
wait around forever.
484
00:20:56,489 --> 00:20:59,023
Yeah, well,
she's a fickle mistress.
485
00:20:59,025 --> 00:21:02,293
Yeah. No kidding.
486
00:21:02,295 --> 00:21:05,396
I will buy a car, when I have
a solid reason to stay.
487
00:21:05,398 --> 00:21:06,697
All right. Good.
Done and done.
488
00:21:06,699 --> 00:21:09,634
Now get outta here,
you punk.
489
00:21:09,636 --> 00:21:10,601
- Bye.
- Bye.
490
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:11,636
- Oh.
- Um.
491
00:21:11,638 --> 00:21:12,937
- Okay.
- I'm so sorry.
492
00:21:12,939 --> 00:21:14,005
I mean, really? Dean?
493
00:21:14,007 --> 00:21:16,440
And I think our lips actually
touched there.
494
00:21:16,442 --> 00:21:19,543
Are you wearing like
a peach, like, melon?
495
00:21:19,545 --> 00:21:21,979
Okay. You know what?
It's actually not the first time
496
00:21:21,981 --> 00:21:23,547
you tried to kiss me.
497
00:21:23,549 --> 00:21:24,715
Really?
498
00:21:24,717 --> 00:21:26,417
- Really?
- Yeah.
499
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:27,952
Because as I recall,
it was actually you
500
00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:29,687
who was the instigator
of our one kiss.
501
00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:31,022
The kiss that you bailed on.
502
00:21:31,024 --> 00:21:33,324
Okay. Only because I had
just had a root canal,
503
00:21:33,326 --> 00:21:36,794
pretty clear about prior to
the start of the date.
504
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:40,064
My bottom lip was like still
numb. Give me a break.
505
00:21:40,066 --> 00:21:41,699
Mhmm, and all this time
506
00:21:41,701 --> 00:21:43,634
I thought that drool
was for me.
507
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:45,403
- [laughs]
- Okay, seriously.
508
00:21:45,405 --> 00:21:48,673
- All right, fine. Going.
- Hurry up.
509
00:21:48,675 --> 00:21:49,540
Move it!
510
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:50,675
- Bye.
- Bye!
511
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:51,542
[car door slams]
512
00:21:51,544 --> 00:21:52,643
- Ow!
- Sorry.
513
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:55,012
That was really violent.
514
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:56,681
Not necessary.
515
00:21:56,683 --> 00:22:00,751
[street noise]
516
00:22:04,089 --> 00:22:07,825
[wind blowing]
517
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:14,465
Let us have wine, women,
mirth, and laughter.
518
00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:17,601
Sermons and soda water
the day after.
519
00:22:17,603 --> 00:22:19,737
Don Juan.
520
00:22:19,739 --> 00:22:21,405
Oh, a literary man, no less.
521
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:24,375
Yeah, well five years of
college finally paying off.
522
00:22:24,377 --> 00:22:26,677
And what dream are we
pursuing now?
523
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,580
That of the actor?
The director?
524
00:22:29,582 --> 00:22:30,581
Screenwriter.
525
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:31,849
Hmm.
526
00:22:31,851 --> 00:22:33,784
A bartender that writes.
527
00:22:33,786 --> 00:22:35,720
A writer who bartends.
528
00:22:35,722 --> 00:22:38,456
Huh.
Anything I might have seen?
529
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:39,423
You ever see
The Hangover?
530
00:22:39,425 --> 00:22:40,558
I did.
531
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:42,393
Yeah. I didn't write that.
532
00:22:42,395 --> 00:22:43,928
I'll tell you, if it's any
consolation,
533
00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:46,697
you got most of the whiskey
in the glass.
534
00:22:49,401 --> 00:22:51,736
I am a great believer in luck.
535
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:54,605
I find the harder I work,
the more I have of it.
536
00:22:54,607 --> 00:22:56,741
That's the plan.
537
00:22:56,743 --> 00:22:59,143
No, that's Thomas Jefferson.
538
00:22:59,145 --> 00:23:02,113
Hey, um, earlier today one
of my buddies was in here.
539
00:23:02,115 --> 00:23:04,582
Anyway, he works
for a record studio
540
00:23:04,584 --> 00:23:07,952
so I gave him your number.
If, if that's okay?
541
00:23:07,954 --> 00:23:10,755
Yeah. I mean, that'd be,
that'd be great. Thank you.
542
00:23:10,757 --> 00:23:13,924
All right. Just looking out.
543
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:16,494
That's a nice looking lady.
544
00:23:16,496 --> 00:23:20,765
[wind blowing]
545
00:23:20,767 --> 00:23:22,633
♪♪
546
00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:30,841
Okay, here we go.
547
00:23:35,580 --> 00:23:37,448
Magic time.
548
00:23:42,621 --> 00:23:45,556
Come on.
549
00:23:47,092 --> 00:23:49,493
Magic time.
550
00:23:50,829 --> 00:23:53,798
[types aggressively]
551
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,466
When I was in college,
I took one of those
552
00:23:55,468 --> 00:23:57,001
career aptitude tests.
553
00:23:57,003 --> 00:23:58,636
You know, answered
a lot of questions
554
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:01,672
And you know they said
I should be?
555
00:24:01,674 --> 00:24:03,941
A ferry boat captain.
556
00:24:03,943 --> 00:24:05,042
Not a writer.
557
00:24:05,044 --> 00:24:06,877
A ferry boat captain.
558
00:24:06,879 --> 00:24:08,746
I mean, do you like even
have to go to college
559
00:24:08,748 --> 00:24:10,114
to be a ferry boat captain?
560
00:24:10,116 --> 00:24:12,183
Is that something
you could apply for?
561
00:24:12,185 --> 00:24:13,517
I don't know.
562
00:24:13,519 --> 00:24:16,153
What's your script about,
uncle Dean?
563
00:24:16,155 --> 00:24:18,756
It's about falling in love.
564
00:24:18,758 --> 00:24:21,826
But I thought you said
you've never been in love.
565
00:24:21,828 --> 00:24:23,594
That's right.
566
00:24:23,596 --> 00:24:26,664
Then how do you write
about it?
567
00:24:26,666 --> 00:24:28,499
[sighs]
568
00:24:28,501 --> 00:24:30,000
Maybe you should
fall in love.
569
00:24:30,002 --> 00:24:33,003
Jimmy, that's easy to say,
buddy.
570
00:24:33,005 --> 00:24:35,840
But you can't just go out
there and fall in love
571
00:24:35,842 --> 00:24:39,176
like it's something
you can just do.
572
00:24:39,178 --> 00:24:40,778
You ever tried?
573
00:24:41,980 --> 00:24:43,747
No.
574
00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:45,583
Then how do you know?
575
00:24:49,788 --> 00:24:51,222
[laughs] That's amazing.
576
00:24:51,224 --> 00:24:53,157
So wait, where did you
go to school?
577
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:54,692
Uh, I went to Berkeley.
578
00:24:54,694 --> 00:24:56,694
Oh, Berkley.
That's a really good school.
579
00:24:56,696 --> 00:24:58,262
- Thank you.
- That was my reach school.
580
00:24:58,264 --> 00:25:01,031
I went to school back east.
Uh, NYU.
581
00:25:01,033 --> 00:25:02,233
Hmm. Not as good, but...
582
00:25:02,235 --> 00:25:06,070
Are you, uh, trying to start
a fire with those things?
583
00:25:06,072 --> 00:25:08,772
Oh, right. I'm sorry.
584
00:25:08,774 --> 00:25:10,641
I guess I'm just a little
nervous.
585
00:25:10,643 --> 00:25:16,814
I mean, if it makes you feel
any better, I'm nervous too.
586
00:25:16,816 --> 00:25:17,615
Really? You are?
587
00:25:17,617 --> 00:25:19,750
Of course.
588
00:25:19,752 --> 00:25:21,919
It's all a bit of a game,
isn't it.
589
00:25:21,921 --> 00:25:23,721
What is?
590
00:25:23,723 --> 00:25:25,656
Just dating, in general.
591
00:25:25,658 --> 00:25:27,825
I just mean that there
are so many rules
592
00:25:27,827 --> 00:25:31,795
It's like we have to become
these super human people
593
00:25:31,797 --> 00:25:35,766
who always order the right
thing or like the right music
594
00:25:35,768 --> 00:25:36,867
or tell the perfect story.
595
00:25:36,869 --> 00:25:39,937
Or who never have
to go to the bathroom.
596
00:25:39,939 --> 00:25:41,872
Exactly. It's like,
we're nervous.
597
00:25:41,874 --> 00:25:42,907
Why can't we
go to the bathroom
598
00:25:42,909 --> 00:25:43,974
three or four times
on a date?
599
00:25:43,976 --> 00:25:47,711
It's actually why I'm wearing
a catheter right now.
600
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:50,047
Oh no...
601
00:25:50,049 --> 00:25:51,649
I'm so sorry.
602
00:25:51,651 --> 00:25:55,219
I'm not actually wearing
a catheter right now,
603
00:25:55,221 --> 00:25:57,288
but you see that's a perfect
example of a joke
604
00:25:57,290 --> 00:25:59,056
that doesn't work.
605
00:25:59,058 --> 00:26:00,925
It just goes to show you, yoh
what you s.
606
00:26:00,927 --> 00:26:02,660
I totally agree with you.
607
00:26:02,662 --> 00:26:05,229
It's all about socially
retarded. Don't you think?
608
00:26:07,732 --> 00:26:08,866
What?
609
00:26:08,868 --> 00:26:10,668
My little sister is retarded.
610
00:26:10,670 --> 00:26:14,271
It's an old make-up factory
that we converted into a loft.
611
00:26:14,273 --> 00:26:15,773
God, that sounds neat.
612
00:26:15,775 --> 00:26:17,308
Yeah. The only real
drawback is that
613
00:26:17,310 --> 00:26:19,843
there are no windows
or walls.
614
00:26:19,845 --> 00:26:22,079
So you don't have bedrooms
or anything?
615
00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:24,148
We just,
we threw up curtains
616
00:26:24,150 --> 00:26:25,916
to divide up the space.
617
00:26:25,918 --> 00:26:27,851
Oh. That must be tough
on privacy.
618
00:26:27,853 --> 00:26:30,654
Yeah, well, like my
roommate always says:
619
00:26:30,656 --> 00:26:33,924
If one of us is having sex,
we're all having sex.
620
00:26:35,360 --> 00:26:38,195
Yeah, family is so important
to me.
621
00:26:38,197 --> 00:26:40,631
I agree. I really do.
622
00:26:40,633 --> 00:26:42,299
Well, what's your family like?
623
00:26:42,301 --> 00:26:45,936
Well, my parents are
divorced, but um...
624
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:49,840
but I have a sister, who is
actually also divorced, um...
625
00:26:49,842 --> 00:26:51,809
I've actually never been
involved in anything
626
00:26:51,811 --> 00:26:54,845
That's like, I, I like to have
sex with one person
627
00:26:54,847 --> 00:26:55,813
at a time.
628
00:26:55,815 --> 00:26:57,281
I haven't even really--
629
00:26:57,283 --> 00:26:59,383
I'm waiting 'til I get married.
630
00:26:59,385 --> 00:27:01,385
Oh my God. I'm so sorry.
631
00:27:01,387 --> 00:27:03,654
I shouldn't laugh.
That's terrible.
632
00:27:03,656 --> 00:27:05,756
But they don't have any kids,
633
00:27:05,758 --> 00:27:07,358
my aunt says that that's like,
634
00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:09,927
would like totally ruin
everything.
635
00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:14,031
I...your sister's a retard?
I'm sorry. That's worse.
636
00:27:14,033 --> 00:27:16,300
That's worse. I should not
have said that, that's--
637
00:27:16,302 --> 00:27:18,035
Wow! That's crazy.
638
00:27:18,037 --> 00:27:19,870
Can't believe you've never
had a boyfriend.
639
00:27:19,872 --> 00:27:22,072
Well, I've never really had
time for a relationship--
640
00:27:22,074 --> 00:27:23,841
because I was molested by--
641
00:27:23,843 --> 00:27:26,944
Dogs. I'm allergic to dogs.
642
00:27:26,946 --> 00:27:28,312
How do you know
that's not dog?
643
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:29,780
I don't eat meat.
644
00:27:29,782 --> 00:27:30,881
I don't do dairy.
645
00:27:30,883 --> 00:27:32,850
I don't swallow.
646
00:27:32,852 --> 00:27:34,351
I've never had an orgasm.
647
00:27:34,353 --> 00:27:35,386
I've frozen my eggs.
648
00:27:35,388 --> 00:27:38,022
Have you ever tried tantra?
649
00:27:38,024 --> 00:27:39,690
Are you staring
at my breasts?
650
00:27:39,692 --> 00:27:42,826
My last boyfriend's penis
was too large.
651
00:27:42,828 --> 00:27:45,029
Check, please.
652
00:27:50,235 --> 00:27:53,370
[intercom]Next stop: Highland Park.
653
00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:55,439
Look over thereto your left, Dean.
654
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:57,808
Leave me alone.
655
00:27:57,810 --> 00:28:00,277
Come on, dude.Look to your left.
656
00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:04,281
She could be the one.
657
00:28:05,884 --> 00:28:07,251
Go talk to her, man.
658
00:28:07,253 --> 00:28:10,821
I-- and what, look like a
psycho? No, thanks.
659
00:28:10,823 --> 00:28:12,056
Well, maybe you area psycho.
660
00:28:12,058 --> 00:28:14,091
You ever consider that?
661
00:28:14,093 --> 00:28:15,359
All the time.
662
00:28:20,198 --> 00:28:22,299
Oops, my bad.
663
00:28:24,302 --> 00:28:27,071
Yes, so good!
Feels good!
664
00:28:27,073 --> 00:28:29,239
- Yes. Fuck.
- Don't say anything!
665
00:28:29,241 --> 00:28:31,108
Don't, don't talk. Don't talk.
666
00:28:31,110 --> 00:28:33,077
Yeah, okay now talk. Don't.
667
00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:34,845
No, don't talk.
Don't. Don't talk.
668
00:28:34,847 --> 00:28:39,216
[yells]
It's coming! It's coming!
669
00:28:39,218 --> 00:28:41,218
[screams]
670
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:43,053
Unh!
671
00:28:44,389 --> 00:28:45,856
[indistinct]
672
00:28:47,459 --> 00:28:48,826
Hi.
673
00:28:48,828 --> 00:28:50,861
Hi.
674
00:28:50,863 --> 00:28:53,897
[heavy breathing]
675
00:28:55,967 --> 00:28:57,067
Can I ask you something?
676
00:28:57,069 --> 00:28:58,202
[phone rings]
677
00:28:58,204 --> 00:28:59,470
Hang on a sec.
678
00:28:59,472 --> 00:29:01,472
[phone rings]
679
00:29:01,474 --> 00:29:02,473
Hello?
680
00:29:02,475 --> 00:29:04,875
Hi. Hi, stranger.
681
00:29:04,877 --> 00:29:06,310
Where have you been?
682
00:29:06,312 --> 00:29:09,012
Yeah, that'd be great!
683
00:29:09,981 --> 00:29:13,117
[laughs]
You're bad!
684
00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:15,018
[inaudible]
685
00:29:15,020 --> 00:29:15,986
I can't tell you that right
now.
686
00:29:15,988 --> 00:29:18,355
I've got someone here.
687
00:29:18,357 --> 00:29:21,191
Yeah, well, what are you
wearing?
688
00:29:21,193 --> 00:29:23,360
Wh-- are you?
689
00:29:23,362 --> 00:29:26,096
Oh, you're not going to want
to know what I'm wearing.
690
00:29:26,098 --> 00:29:29,900
Look, Pete. It's for the best
man. You gotta trust me.
691
00:29:29,902 --> 00:29:31,368
She called me a cocksucker.
692
00:29:31,370 --> 00:29:32,469
Damn, kid.
693
00:29:32,471 --> 00:29:36,140
I just can't be with a chick
who's gonna
694
00:29:36,142 --> 00:29:37,808
call me a cocksucker.
695
00:29:37,810 --> 00:29:39,042
You shouldn't have to be.
696
00:29:39,044 --> 00:29:40,177
It's not very loving.
697
00:29:40,179 --> 00:29:42,880
No, it's not. I agree.
698
00:29:42,882 --> 00:29:44,114
- What's up, buddy?
- What's up?
699
00:29:44,116 --> 00:29:46,150
Hey, what's going on?
700
00:29:46,152 --> 00:29:48,819
Uh, Beth dumped Pete
again.
701
00:29:48,821 --> 00:29:51,021
No. I dumped her.
702
00:29:51,023 --> 00:29:52,990
Well, I'm sorry.
He dumped her.
703
00:29:52,992 --> 00:29:53,857
Why?
704
00:29:53,859 --> 00:29:55,159
Well, Pete's a cocksucker.
705
00:29:55,161 --> 00:29:56,527
Sorry to hear that, Pete.
706
00:29:56,529 --> 00:29:59,296
Why don't you come out for
a drink with us?
707
00:29:59,298 --> 00:30:01,198
Can't do it. Gotta write.
708
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:02,065
Write later.
709
00:30:02,067 --> 00:30:03,901
Write later?
710
00:30:03,903 --> 00:30:05,903
Dude, you write all the time.
Write later.
711
00:30:05,905 --> 00:30:08,038
I don't want to write later. I
feel like writing right now.
712
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:09,406
Dude, your friend is in pain.
713
00:30:09,408 --> 00:30:11,408
Whatever. They break up
like three times a month.
714
00:30:11,410 --> 00:30:13,310
Dude, this was the last time.
715
00:30:13,312 --> 00:30:16,213
You see?
That's the last time.
716
00:30:16,215 --> 00:30:17,881
I gotta write.
717
00:30:17,883 --> 00:30:18,916
Wow.
718
00:30:18,918 --> 00:30:21,552
[laughs]
I'm not hearing this.
719
00:30:21,554 --> 00:30:24,087
Look, I'm sorry. I can't just
go out bar hopping
720
00:30:24,089 --> 00:30:26,123
with the guys every time I
feel like it. I have--
721
00:30:26,125 --> 00:30:29,026
there's things that you might
not understand...
722
00:30:29,028 --> 00:30:30,127
Self control.
723
00:30:30,129 --> 00:30:31,528
Discipline.
724
00:30:31,530 --> 00:30:33,363
Will power.
725
00:30:33,365 --> 00:30:35,032
[♪ Dance music ♪]
726
00:30:35,034 --> 00:30:37,067
Please don't.
727
00:30:37,069 --> 00:30:38,202
Oh, please do.
728
00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:39,203
What!
729
00:30:39,205 --> 00:30:40,137
[Pete laughs]
730
00:30:40,139 --> 00:30:41,538
Wow!
731
00:30:41,540 --> 00:30:44,975
♪ Yeah! ♪
732
00:30:44,977 --> 00:30:46,610
You're a terrible dancer!
733
00:30:46,612 --> 00:30:48,111
Wow!
734
00:30:48,113 --> 00:30:50,047
Wow!
735
00:30:50,049 --> 00:30:53,050
Is that? You send--are you
sending me in?
736
00:30:53,052 --> 00:30:55,152
- He's sending me.
- It's been sent.
737
00:30:55,154 --> 00:30:56,386
♪ Those girls are lookin'at me ♪
738
00:30:56,388 --> 00:30:57,888
Wow!
739
00:30:57,890 --> 00:30:59,223
♪ Those girls are lookin'at me ♪
740
00:30:59,225 --> 00:31:01,191
♪ Those girls are lookin'at me ♪
741
00:31:01,193 --> 00:31:03,427
♪ Check me out ♪
742
00:31:03,429 --> 00:31:07,130
Come on, catch that shit.
743
00:31:07,132 --> 00:31:08,532
♪ Those girls are lookin'at me ♪
744
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:10,133
[laughs]
745
00:31:10,135 --> 00:31:12,269
- Come on.
- Come on!
746
00:31:12,271 --> 00:31:13,170
Yeah!
747
00:31:13,172 --> 00:31:14,238
I fuckin' hate you guys.
748
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:15,239
I fuckin' hate you too.
749
00:31:15,241 --> 00:31:20,077
♪ Cause I'm a hottiewith a body ♪
750
00:31:20,079 --> 00:31:24,248
♪ I'll make them cutiesshake their booties ♪
751
00:31:24,250 --> 00:31:28,185
♪ I turn the danceto believers ♪
752
00:31:28,187 --> 00:31:32,623
♪ I get 'em hotjust like a fever ♪
753
00:31:32,625 --> 00:31:35,158
♪ Cause I'm a hottiewith a body ♪
754
00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:39,129
♪ I make them cutiesshake their booties ♪
755
00:31:39,131 --> 00:31:43,400
♪ I turn the danceto believers ♪
756
00:31:43,402 --> 00:31:47,104
Be still my groin.
757
00:31:47,106 --> 00:31:51,141
I'm getting some serious E.
Gentlemen, excuse me.
758
00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:54,211
Yeah, I'm gonna do a lap.
759
00:31:54,213 --> 00:31:59,149
♪♪
760
00:31:59,151 --> 00:32:00,017
Great.
761
00:32:00,019 --> 00:32:02,452
♪♪
762
00:32:02,454 --> 00:32:05,022
Hey, can I get a whiskey
when you get a chance?
763
00:32:05,024 --> 00:32:06,423
Please?
764
00:32:06,425 --> 00:32:09,192
Hey, need a favor.
765
00:32:09,194 --> 00:32:10,494
She's got a friend.
766
00:32:10,496 --> 00:32:12,663
No. No. Fuck no.
767
00:32:12,665 --> 00:32:15,132
Before you say anything,
she is, she's beautiful.
768
00:32:15,134 --> 00:32:16,266
Okay?
769
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:18,702
You're gonna like her.
I promise.
770
00:32:18,704 --> 00:32:22,272
How? What?
How do I owe you anything.
771
00:32:22,274 --> 00:32:24,207
I'll owe you. Okay?
Come on.
772
00:32:27,980 --> 00:32:30,347
I would like you to meet a
good friend of mine.
773
00:32:30,349 --> 00:32:31,548
- This is Dean.
- Hi.
774
00:32:31,550 --> 00:32:34,217
- Dean, this is Monique.
- Hi.
775
00:32:34,219 --> 00:32:36,320
- And her friend--
- Jasmine.
776
00:32:36,322 --> 00:32:37,321
Nice to meet you.
777
00:32:37,323 --> 00:32:38,655
Jasmine's a writer, too.
778
00:32:38,657 --> 00:32:41,058
Really? What do you write?
779
00:32:41,060 --> 00:32:43,026
The advice column for Out.
780
00:32:43,028 --> 00:32:45,195
Oh, that's like, a travel
magazine, right?
781
00:32:45,197 --> 00:32:48,065
Actually, it's an alternative
lifestyles publication.
782
00:32:50,301 --> 00:32:52,069
Bro, you see that?
783
00:32:52,071 --> 00:32:53,570
What?
784
00:32:53,572 --> 00:32:55,405
She's giving me E.
785
00:32:55,407 --> 00:32:56,506
Oh yeah?
How do you know?
786
00:32:56,508 --> 00:32:57,641
I can just tell.
787
00:32:57,643 --> 00:32:59,176
It's one of those things.
788
00:32:59,178 --> 00:33:01,745
God, I love being single.
789
00:33:01,747 --> 00:33:03,714
Hmm.
790
00:33:03,716 --> 00:33:08,218
Watch the kid go to work.
791
00:33:08,220 --> 00:33:10,554
Men in LA play so many
games.
792
00:33:10,556 --> 00:33:12,189
They're so non-committal.
793
00:33:12,191 --> 00:33:15,058
I just got tired of looking
for a man who could be.
794
00:33:15,060 --> 00:33:16,360
Just be.
795
00:33:16,362 --> 00:33:20,130
This is why I've chosen
to be with women.
796
00:33:20,132 --> 00:33:22,032
She's totally checking me
out.
797
00:33:22,034 --> 00:33:24,501
She's coming right there,
watching my every move.
798
00:33:26,371 --> 00:33:28,138
She looks like Beth.
799
00:33:29,674 --> 00:33:31,408
So is what you're doing
working?
800
00:33:31,410 --> 00:33:34,311
Oh, you know it is.
You know it is. Try it.
801
00:33:34,313 --> 00:33:36,646
How do I do it? Just send it
out there.
802
00:33:38,282 --> 00:33:41,084
Send it, baby. Send it.
803
00:33:41,086 --> 00:33:44,221
Most men I've dated, I would
classify as penetrators.
804
00:33:44,223 --> 00:33:47,090
I'm not too big on being
penetrated.
805
00:33:47,092 --> 00:33:50,093
Vagina is actually Latin for
sheath.
806
00:33:50,095 --> 00:33:53,263
I just got tired of being
another sheath, you know?
807
00:33:53,265 --> 00:33:54,297
Totally.
808
00:33:54,299 --> 00:33:56,400
Yeah, okay. We're gonna go.
809
00:33:56,402 --> 00:33:58,502
Have fun.
810
00:34:01,139 --> 00:34:04,174
Your friend, for example,
he's a penetrator.
811
00:34:04,176 --> 00:34:05,609
Will you excuse me
for a second?
812
00:34:08,146 --> 00:34:10,280
Hey, man. Can I get a
whiskey neat, please?
813
00:34:10,282 --> 00:34:11,381
Thanks.
814
00:34:13,284 --> 00:34:14,551
Keep it.
815
00:34:18,122 --> 00:34:23,326
No way! My God.
816
00:34:25,196 --> 00:34:31,468
Send it, baby.
Send that E. Send it.
817
00:34:31,470 --> 00:34:36,206
Come on. Look at me. I
command you to look at me.
818
00:34:36,208 --> 00:34:37,774
What am I doing?
Oh my gosh.
819
00:34:37,776 --> 00:34:41,845
Just go over there
and talk to her, you lunatic.
820
00:34:41,847 --> 00:34:45,415
Stop talking to yourself.
That would be really smart.
821
00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:55,725
Damn.
822
00:35:02,300 --> 00:35:05,469
Unbelievable!
Nice job, Dean.
823
00:35:05,471 --> 00:35:07,104
What?
824
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:10,307
on the way back to The
Cave, thank you very much.
825
00:35:10,309 --> 00:35:12,442
Oh, who cares, man?
It's all bullshit anyway.
826
00:35:12,444 --> 00:35:15,879
This endless need to prove
your masculinity.
827
00:35:15,881 --> 00:35:17,180
Divide and conquer.
828
00:35:17,182 --> 00:35:18,648
Ooh, I'm getting serious E.
829
00:35:18,650 --> 00:35:20,217
- What is that?
- It's energy.
830
00:35:20,219 --> 00:35:21,551
I know what it is, Pete.
831
00:35:21,553 --> 00:35:24,654
I'm asking what it really
means. What does it say?
832
00:35:24,656 --> 00:35:26,356
What are we doing here?
833
00:35:26,358 --> 00:35:28,625
I know you're
here to hook up, Jay.
834
00:35:28,627 --> 00:35:30,827
I'm just asking
what does it say
835
00:35:30,829 --> 00:35:33,263
about the human condition?
836
00:35:33,265 --> 00:35:36,333
The human condition.
837
00:35:36,335 --> 00:35:39,736
What does my wanting to
get laid have anything to do
838
00:35:39,738 --> 00:35:41,671
with the human condition?
839
00:35:41,673 --> 00:35:43,440
I'm just
asking questions, man.
840
00:35:43,442 --> 00:35:46,343
Well, I'll tell you one thing.
It is no more misguided
841
00:35:46,345 --> 00:35:48,645
than your idiotic quest
to find the one.
842
00:35:48,647 --> 00:35:49,880
You think it's misguided?
843
00:35:49,882 --> 00:35:52,382
It's completely misguided.
844
00:35:52,384 --> 00:35:56,520
Finding the one is a
inherently false concept.
845
00:35:56,522 --> 00:35:58,288
You know, people have
[stammers] this
846
00:35:58,290 --> 00:36:00,390
fairy tale expectation
that sex is no longer
847
00:36:00,392 --> 00:36:03,360
gonna be fucking,
it's gonna be making love.
848
00:36:03,362 --> 00:36:04,861
And you know what?
849
00:36:04,863 --> 00:36:06,863
They will make love
for a while
850
00:36:06,865 --> 00:36:08,932
and then they'll just
want to fuck again.
851
00:36:08,934 --> 00:36:10,600
And you know what?
852
00:36:10,602 --> 00:36:13,403
You're gonna think about
this. You're gonna think,
853
00:36:13,405 --> 00:36:16,606
why do I want to fuck
the person that I love?
854
00:36:16,608 --> 00:36:18,275
And then you'll realize
855
00:36:18,277 --> 00:36:20,443
that you never really loved
that person.
856
00:36:20,445 --> 00:36:24,381
Instead, you loved the idea
of being in love
857
00:36:24,383 --> 00:36:25,882
with that person, so that
person was never truly
858
00:36:25,884 --> 00:36:29,452
the one, she was your idea
of what the one should be.
859
00:36:29,454 --> 00:36:30,620
It's a mind fuck.
860
00:36:30,622 --> 00:36:31,955
You're a sad man, Jay.
861
00:36:31,957 --> 00:36:33,323
I'm an honest man.
862
00:36:33,325 --> 00:36:34,958
Pete, help me out here.
863
00:36:37,461 --> 00:36:40,897
I have a test. It's called
The Mud Puddle Test.
864
00:36:40,899 --> 00:36:44,434
Yeah, say I'm walking
with my girl down the street
865
00:36:44,436 --> 00:36:46,269
and she somehow manages
to slip and fall
866
00:36:46,271 --> 00:36:49,306
Somehow manages? Pete
what are you talking about?
867
00:36:49,308 --> 00:36:50,440
No, no, no. I'm serious.
868
00:36:50,442 --> 00:36:51,775
Look, there
are two outcomes.
869
00:36:51,777 --> 00:36:53,577
Either she laughs about it
or complains about it.
870
00:36:53,579 --> 00:36:55,745
The good girl's always
gonna laugh about it, right?
871
00:36:55,747 --> 00:36:59,449
But the one, the woman
you're gonna marry,
872
00:36:59,451 --> 00:37:02,485
she's gonna drag you right
into that puddle with her.
873
00:37:02,487 --> 00:37:04,554
See how that works?
874
00:37:04,556 --> 00:37:06,590
Pete, are you like,
875
00:37:06,592 --> 00:37:08,525
pushing all your dates
into mud puddles?
876
00:37:08,527 --> 00:37:11,461
No no, idiot. No.
I just imagine what each one
877
00:37:11,463 --> 00:37:14,598
of them would be like in that
situation, based on signs
878
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,666
I've gotten
while we were dating.
879
00:37:16,668 --> 00:37:17,801
And Beth?
880
00:37:19,604 --> 00:37:22,939
I don't even know anymore.
881
00:37:22,941 --> 00:37:24,541
What about you, Andre?
882
00:37:24,543 --> 00:37:27,344
Me? I love Anna.
883
00:37:27,346 --> 00:37:28,478
Who's Anna?
884
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:29,813
She lives in New York.
885
00:37:29,815 --> 00:37:31,615
But I thought that Rosa
was your girl.
886
00:37:31,617 --> 00:37:33,383
No, Anna's his girl girl.
887
00:37:33,385 --> 00:37:35,018
So does Anna sleep
with other people?
888
00:37:35,020 --> 00:37:37,487
No. How do you know?
889
00:37:37,489 --> 00:37:38,688
She's a good girl.
890
00:37:38,690 --> 00:37:39,589
But you do.
891
00:37:39,591 --> 00:37:41,024
I'm a bad boy.
892
00:37:41,026 --> 00:37:43,526
And you love her?
893
00:37:43,528 --> 00:37:46,630
Love is comfort.
At least for me, it's comfort.
894
00:37:46,632 --> 00:37:49,399
It's knowing she'll be there
whenever I need her.
895
00:37:49,401 --> 00:37:50,600
It's like this lighter.
896
00:37:50,602 --> 00:37:52,369
I love this lighter
897
00:37:52,371 --> 00:37:54,504
cause I know it's always
gonna work.
898
00:37:54,506 --> 00:37:58,675
So you love Anna
like you love your lighter?
899
00:37:58,677 --> 00:38:00,010
He loves his lighter more.
900
00:38:00,012 --> 00:38:01,711
I need a lighter.
901
00:38:01,713 --> 00:38:04,447
She's the one.
902
00:38:05,883 --> 00:38:08,618
A toast then,
to finding the one.
903
00:38:08,620 --> 00:38:11,655
No, no.
904
00:38:11,657 --> 00:38:14,958
A toast to lying, cheating,
stealing,
905
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,693
lying for your friends,
cheating death,
906
00:38:16,695 --> 00:38:18,628
and stealing ladies' hearts.
907
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:22,432
I'll catch you guys later.
908
00:38:22,434 --> 00:38:23,633
What the fuck?
909
00:38:29,373 --> 00:38:32,342
Dean! You all right?
910
00:38:32,344 --> 00:38:33,810
Yeah. I'm just--
911
00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:36,513
Yeah, I'm fine.
912
00:38:36,515 --> 00:38:38,648
Look, if it makes any
difference,
913
00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:40,817
I get what you're saying.
914
00:38:40,819 --> 00:38:42,919
You going back
to The Cave?
915
00:38:44,522 --> 00:38:47,624
Nah. No.
916
00:38:47,626 --> 00:38:48,925
I know.
917
00:38:48,927 --> 00:38:50,360
Give her my best.
918
00:38:50,362 --> 00:38:51,361
I will.
919
00:38:51,363 --> 00:38:52,662
- Bye, buddy.
- Later.
920
00:38:54,632 --> 00:38:57,901
[phone rings]
921
00:39:03,541 --> 00:39:08,645
[train passing]
922
00:39:13,117 --> 00:39:15,719
I, I know that, I know that
you can't look for it, okay?
923
00:39:15,721 --> 00:39:19,622
It's just these women I've
been going out with--
924
00:39:19,624 --> 00:39:21,057
too much baggage.
925
00:39:21,059 --> 00:39:22,726
Or just way too shallow.
926
00:39:22,728 --> 00:39:24,728
Yeah, says the guy looking
for love
927
00:39:24,730 --> 00:39:26,696
to finish his screenplay.
928
00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:30,400
Well, maybe I'm writing it as
a subconscious expression
929
00:39:30,402 --> 00:39:33,570
of my need to fall in love.
You ever think about that?
930
00:39:33,572 --> 00:39:36,806
Well, you're wrong. You
gotta look for the signs.
931
00:39:36,808 --> 00:39:41,478
Like the small miracles.
The weird coincidences.
932
00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:45,482
The deja-vus.
The stuff that turns you off.
933
00:39:45,484 --> 00:39:47,650
The stuff that
makes you tingle.
934
00:39:47,652 --> 00:39:49,753
Like seeing the same
woman over and over again
935
00:39:49,755 --> 00:39:50,787
every time you go out?
936
00:39:50,789 --> 00:39:52,622
Exactly.
937
00:39:52,624 --> 00:39:56,059
Or that you had a boyfriend
that you discovered
938
00:39:56,061 --> 00:39:57,594
went to the same summer
camp as you,
939
00:39:57,596 --> 00:39:59,829
except you guys
never ran into each other.
940
00:39:59,831 --> 00:40:01,131
Did that happen to you?
941
00:40:01,133 --> 00:40:02,665
No.
942
00:40:02,667 --> 00:40:04,601
Wouldn't that be cool
though?
943
00:40:04,603 --> 00:40:05,969
Yeah, it'd be awesome.
944
00:40:05,971 --> 00:40:07,670
Yeah.
945
00:40:07,672 --> 00:40:09,539
I wish I went
to summer camp.
946
00:40:09,541 --> 00:40:11,708
Me too.
947
00:40:15,614 --> 00:40:19,916
I just can't believe you find
Shaun White attractive.
948
00:40:19,918 --> 00:40:21,651
- The flying tomato...
- I just think if someone has,
949
00:40:21,653 --> 00:40:23,553
I think if someone has
longer hair than you,
950
00:40:23,555 --> 00:40:25,622
- Oh!
- Oh! Are you okay?
951
00:40:25,624 --> 00:40:26,656
- Oh!
- You okay?
952
00:40:26,658 --> 00:40:27,657
[laughs]
953
00:40:27,659 --> 00:40:28,792
You're such an asshole.
954
00:40:28,794 --> 00:40:30,193
What? It was a sign.
955
00:40:30,195 --> 00:40:32,162
Yeah. Mock me if you must.
- Oh, I must.
956
00:40:32,164 --> 00:40:33,663
You buy flower for girl?
957
00:40:33,665 --> 00:40:35,198
Uh, no. No girl...
958
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,633
This girl...
959
00:40:36,635 --> 00:40:38,701
No! No. Not, not girl.
960
00:40:38,703 --> 00:40:40,703
Not girl? Boy?
961
00:40:40,705 --> 00:40:42,972
No, no. I'm not, I'm not his
girl.
962
00:40:42,974 --> 00:40:45,508
- We're just friends.
- Yeah, we're friends.
963
00:40:45,510 --> 00:40:48,077
Ah! Girlfriend!
964
00:40:50,548 --> 00:40:52,682
Yeah, look, man.
965
00:40:52,684 --> 00:40:54,751
You buy?
966
00:40:54,753 --> 00:40:56,753
Here. Okay.
Here. Take these.
967
00:40:56,755 --> 00:40:58,588
No. Flowers bad karma.
Huh uh.
968
00:40:58,590 --> 00:40:59,656
What? Take them. Please.
969
00:40:59,658 --> 00:41:03,726
Because. For dealing with
my crap. Just take them.
970
00:41:03,728 --> 00:41:05,228
I mean it.
971
00:41:05,230 --> 00:41:07,197
Thank you so much.
972
00:41:07,199 --> 00:41:09,599
Contact.
973
00:41:11,969 --> 00:41:14,804
Other one's getting
a little jealous.
974
00:41:23,948 --> 00:41:25,515
[giggles]
975
00:41:25,517 --> 00:41:26,182
What?
976
00:41:26,184 --> 00:41:28,218
You made me miss my cab!
977
00:41:28,220 --> 00:41:30,053
You made yourself
miss your cab.
978
00:41:30,055 --> 00:41:31,788
What are you taking about?
Don't flatter yourself.
979
00:41:31,790 --> 00:41:33,156
Kissing you
was like kissing my brother.
980
00:41:33,158 --> 00:41:36,860
Really? Kissing you was like
kissing my mother.
981
00:41:36,862 --> 00:41:38,595
Kissing you is like kissing
my grandfather
982
00:41:38,597 --> 00:41:40,730
and he's dead.
983
00:41:40,732 --> 00:41:42,665
- Well you know what?
- Huh?
984
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:46,703
Kissing you is completely
forgettable.
985
00:41:48,839 --> 00:41:50,573
Forgettable?
986
00:41:50,575 --> 00:41:53,142
Completely.
987
00:42:21,105 --> 00:42:22,839
Shit.
988
00:42:38,923 --> 00:42:41,658
[whistling]
989
00:42:41,660 --> 00:42:44,060
Wakey Wakey.
990
00:42:44,062 --> 00:42:45,261
What? What is it?
991
00:42:45,263 --> 00:42:48,865
Mmm. Eviction notice.
992
00:42:48,867 --> 00:42:52,302
What? For what?
993
00:42:52,304 --> 00:42:55,772
Excessive partying.
994
00:42:55,774 --> 00:42:57,574
Morning, sweetheart.
995
00:43:00,778 --> 00:43:02,946
What the fuck?
996
00:43:02,948 --> 00:43:04,113
Here we go, guys.
997
00:43:04,115 --> 00:43:06,983
Sunny four bedroom loft.
High ceilings.
998
00:43:06,985 --> 00:43:09,919
Exposed brick.
999
00:43:09,921 --> 00:43:11,621
Eat-in kitchen.
Washer dryer.
1000
00:43:11,623 --> 00:43:13,356
Private fucking elevator.
1001
00:43:13,358 --> 00:43:15,158
What? Yo, yo.
That's the one, kid.
1002
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:16,192
Yeah, but how much is it?
1003
00:43:17,828 --> 00:43:20,897
It's $10,000. Fuck me!
1004
00:43:20,899 --> 00:43:22,265
Can I get a Jack and Coke?
1005
00:43:22,267 --> 00:43:27,236
Oh, we're getting booted
from The Cave.
1006
00:43:27,238 --> 00:43:28,938
Well, that sucks.
1007
00:43:30,374 --> 00:43:34,110
That is a very good point,
but you see, the thing is,
1008
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:35,912
I don't know
what to say to her.
1009
00:43:37,282 --> 00:43:42,685
Oh, yeah. I like her, too.
I do. But do I like her?
1010
00:43:42,687 --> 00:43:44,854
And if I do like her, is it
because I really like her
1011
00:43:44,856 --> 00:43:47,390
or because I'm just trying to
write my script?
1012
00:43:47,392 --> 00:43:48,992
Wow. Am I that shallow?
1013
00:43:48,994 --> 00:43:53,162
Maybe I am, but I kissed
her. And I liked it.
1014
00:43:53,164 --> 00:43:55,832
So I must like her, right?
1015
00:43:55,834 --> 00:43:58,067
I like her.
1016
00:43:58,069 --> 00:44:00,203
Yeah, that's good.
1017
00:44:00,205 --> 00:44:01,871
I like her too.
1018
00:44:01,873 --> 00:44:03,873
You should tell her
you like her.
1019
00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:07,010
Really? You think
that's a good idea?
1020
00:44:07,012 --> 00:44:09,012
Duh.
1021
00:44:09,014 --> 00:44:13,650
[♪ Jonathan Foreman:"Give Me Back My Girl" ♪]
1022
00:44:13,652 --> 00:44:14,217
Oh, hey.
1023
00:44:14,219 --> 00:44:15,218
Hey.
1024
00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:16,753
I'm sorry.
Where're you going?
1025
00:44:16,755 --> 00:44:20,390
Yeah, it's empty in there.
I got off early.
1026
00:44:20,392 --> 00:44:22,892
Oh, okay. Can I talk to you
for a sec?
1027
00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:25,995
Look, can you talk to me
while I'm walking to my car?
1028
00:44:25,997 --> 00:44:28,197
It's actually kinda
complicated.
1029
00:44:28,199 --> 00:44:31,434
Okay, um, then how about
I'll call you when I have
1030
00:44:31,436 --> 00:44:33,703
a second to actually talk.
That okay?
1031
00:44:33,705 --> 00:44:35,271
- Uh yeah. Okay.
- All right?
1032
00:44:35,273 --> 00:44:36,973
Okay. Talk to you later. Bye.
1033
00:44:36,975 --> 00:44:38,808
♪ Feel you creepin' in ♪
1034
00:44:38,810 --> 00:44:41,778
♪ Breakin' my heart again ♪
1035
00:44:41,780 --> 00:44:44,013
♪ I don't knowwho I've been ♪
1036
00:44:44,015 --> 00:44:46,749
♪ Feels like I'm losing it ♪
1037
00:44:46,751 --> 00:44:47,984
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1038
00:44:47,986 --> 00:44:49,052
Shit.
1039
00:44:49,054 --> 00:44:52,055
Hey, Tess! Tess! Hey! Hey!
1040
00:44:52,057 --> 00:44:54,257
♪ You can haveLos Angeles, ♪
1041
00:44:54,259 --> 00:44:57,894
♪ Just give me backmy girl ♪
1042
00:44:57,896 --> 00:45:04,233
♪♪
1043
00:45:04,235 --> 00:45:07,003
♪ Feels like I'm losing you ♪
1044
00:45:07,005 --> 00:45:09,972
♪ Like I'm beingtorn in two ♪
1045
00:45:09,974 --> 00:45:13,009
♪ After all that we'vebeen through ♪
1046
00:45:13,011 --> 00:45:15,445
♪ Is there nothing that Icould do ♪
1047
00:45:15,447 --> 00:45:20,750
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
1048
00:45:20,752 --> 00:45:22,952
♪ You can haveLos Angeles ♪
1049
00:45:22,954 --> 00:45:24,954
Tess! Wait! Wait! Wait!
1050
00:45:24,956 --> 00:45:26,923
Hey! Hey! Tess!
1051
00:45:26,925 --> 00:45:28,391
Dammit!
1052
00:45:28,393 --> 00:45:31,928
♪ Just give me backmy girl ♪
1053
00:45:31,930 --> 00:45:34,764
Hey, can you follow that car,
please?
1054
00:45:34,766 --> 00:45:37,300
♪ Give me back my girl ♪
1055
00:45:37,302 --> 00:45:39,936
♪ You can have the basin ♪
1056
00:45:39,938 --> 00:45:43,339
♪ Just give me backmy girl ♪♪
1057
00:45:43,341 --> 00:45:46,409
[melancholy music]
1058
00:45:54,985 --> 00:45:58,187
Hey, my man. Get out here?
1059
00:45:58,189 --> 00:46:02,225
Oh, uh. No It's actually just
a couple more blocks up.
1060
00:46:05,496 --> 00:46:09,132
Hello and welcome back to
Here Comes the Bride.
1061
00:46:09,134 --> 00:46:10,933
Yes, it's the big one.
1062
00:46:13,138 --> 00:46:16,205
- You're home?
- Yeah. Keen observation.
1063
00:46:16,207 --> 00:46:20,476
No, I just thought. I don't
know. You'd be out.
1064
00:46:20,478 --> 00:46:22,111
So what are you guys up to?
1065
00:46:22,113 --> 00:46:24,013
We just came from having
cocktails, which reminds me.
1066
00:46:24,015 --> 00:46:27,316
Gotta take a leak, if you
pardon my French.
1067
00:46:27,318 --> 00:46:29,051
Didn't know you were
bilingual.
1068
00:46:29,053 --> 00:46:31,320
I have many talents, lady.
1069
00:46:31,322 --> 00:46:36,392
Who will be the lucky man
to marry her?
1070
00:46:36,394 --> 00:46:41,030
And whisk her away to Cabo
for a one week honeymoon?
1071
00:46:41,032 --> 00:46:42,398
It's our show.
1072
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:45,468
Yeah, our show.
1073
00:46:45,470 --> 00:46:47,403
So what'd you want to talk
to me about?
1074
00:46:48,939 --> 00:46:50,173
What do you mean?
1075
00:46:50,175 --> 00:46:52,542
Earlier you wanted
to talk to me.
1076
00:46:52,544 --> 00:46:54,377
Oh, right. Yeah. I uh...
1077
00:46:54,379 --> 00:46:56,312
have you ever worked
behind the bar before?
1078
00:46:56,314 --> 00:46:58,080
Few times. Why?
1079
00:46:58,082 --> 00:46:59,916
I was just wandering if you
could take one of my shifts.
1080
00:46:59,918 --> 00:47:02,518
I'm like, totally overloaded
with this whole writing thing
1081
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:06,088
Really? That's it?
1082
00:47:06,090 --> 00:47:07,824
Yeah.
1083
00:47:07,826 --> 00:47:10,359
Uh huh. Okay.
1084
00:47:10,361 --> 00:47:14,430
I'll talk to Sid and see if
everything's okay with that.
1085
00:47:14,432 --> 00:47:15,531
I'm sure it will be fine.
1086
00:47:15,533 --> 00:47:17,333
- Great.
- Great.
1087
00:47:17,335 --> 00:47:19,135
Great.
1088
00:47:20,170 --> 00:47:23,539
So what do you think?
1089
00:47:23,541 --> 00:47:26,209
About what?
1090
00:47:26,211 --> 00:47:28,110
We just had our first date.
1091
00:47:29,079 --> 00:47:31,380
No way! You two?
1092
00:47:31,382 --> 00:47:34,884
Yes, and it went quite well,
I think.
1093
00:47:34,886 --> 00:47:36,152
Yeah, you got my attention.
1094
00:47:36,154 --> 00:47:39,422
Hmm. So? How about it?
1095
00:47:41,059 --> 00:47:43,359
My two best friends
getting together?
1096
00:47:43,361 --> 00:47:45,461
What more could a guy
ask for? Huh?
1097
00:47:45,463 --> 00:47:46,362
Beautiful!
1098
00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:47,530
Great.
1099
00:47:47,532 --> 00:47:48,631
Totally.
1100
00:47:48,633 --> 00:47:50,533
So...
1101
00:47:50,535 --> 00:47:54,170
don't you have
that thing tonight?
1102
00:47:54,172 --> 00:47:57,273
Right. Yes. My thing.
That thing. I gotta--
1103
00:47:57,275 --> 00:47:58,608
Hey, you don't
wanna be late.
1104
00:47:58,610 --> 00:48:01,477
Yeah, I will see you guys,
I'll catch up with you--
1105
00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:02,645
Yeah. Good luck with that.
1106
00:48:02,647 --> 00:48:04,146
Yeah. Okay.
1107
00:48:04,148 --> 00:48:05,882
Yeah, good luck.
1108
00:48:21,265 --> 00:48:24,100
Remember that Latino girl
I used to date?
1109
00:48:24,102 --> 00:48:27,169
- You mean Alicia?
- Yeah. That's the one.
1110
00:48:27,171 --> 00:48:29,305
You know, I took her to one
of those rooftop joints once?
1111
00:48:29,307 --> 00:48:32,975
Yeah man. Did the three D's:
drinks, dinner, dancing.
1112
00:48:32,977 --> 00:48:34,677
That kind of thing.
Anyway, picture this:
1113
00:48:34,679 --> 00:48:38,347
midnight rolls along and we
stroll out onto the deck
1114
00:48:38,349 --> 00:48:41,117
and there was this gigantic
moon that just sort of
1115
00:48:41,119 --> 00:48:44,120
hung right over the city,
lit up the entire sky.
1116
00:48:44,122 --> 00:48:45,421
And there was this gentle
breeze that kept
1117
00:48:45,423 --> 00:48:48,190
lifting her hair. It was
perfect.
1118
00:48:48,192 --> 00:48:49,458
This is perfect.
1119
00:48:49,460 --> 00:48:52,261
This is perfect.
1120
00:48:52,263 --> 00:48:55,164
And let me guess? She
gave you the old blow job
1121
00:48:55,166 --> 00:48:56,966
right then and there
on the deck?
1122
00:48:56,968 --> 00:48:59,969
No, man.
It wasn't about that.
1123
00:49:02,139 --> 00:49:05,207
It was just a moment. You
know? A perfect moment.
1124
00:49:05,209 --> 00:49:07,310
Everything about
the evening,
1125
00:49:07,312 --> 00:49:09,278
everything around us
was perfect. I knew it.
1126
00:49:09,280 --> 00:49:11,314
She knew it.
And at that moment,
1127
00:49:11,316 --> 00:49:14,250
just for one moment,
1128
00:49:14,252 --> 00:49:17,053
I thought I loved her.
1129
00:49:17,055 --> 00:49:18,187
Did you tell her this?
1130
00:49:18,189 --> 00:49:20,022
Nah. Nah. Nah.
I didn't tell her.
1131
00:49:20,024 --> 00:49:21,157
- Why not?
- I couldn't.
1132
00:49:21,159 --> 00:49:25,328
Because the moment
passed as quickly as it came
1133
00:49:25,330 --> 00:49:28,731
and I realized I don't love
the girl. I love the moment.
1134
00:49:28,733 --> 00:49:31,334
See for me, it was always
about the moment.
1135
00:49:31,336 --> 00:49:33,569
Well, until I met Anna.
1136
00:49:35,172 --> 00:49:39,342
Do you not have perfect
moments with Anna?
1137
00:49:39,344 --> 00:49:41,711
Nah. See with Anna,
1138
00:49:41,713 --> 00:49:43,546
I never even thought about
perfect moments.
1139
00:49:43,548 --> 00:49:45,481
Never even tried
to look for 'em.
1140
00:49:45,483 --> 00:49:49,218
Then I got to thinking about
that and I realized that
1141
00:49:49,220 --> 00:49:53,422
every moment I had
with Anna was perfect
1142
00:49:53,424 --> 00:49:56,359
because I loved her
1143
00:49:56,361 --> 00:49:59,428
and I realized that love is the
perfect moment
1144
00:49:59,430 --> 00:50:01,197
that never ends.
1145
00:50:03,734 --> 00:50:07,770
So why aren't you with her
now, man?
1146
00:50:07,772 --> 00:50:10,673
Ah, she's in, she's in, she's
in New York
1147
00:50:10,675 --> 00:50:11,540
and I moved to LA.
1148
00:50:11,542 --> 00:50:18,214
Yeah, but your perfect
moment--it's out there.
1149
00:50:18,216 --> 00:50:20,116
It's waiting on you, kid.
1150
00:50:23,353 --> 00:50:25,054
Yeah.
1151
00:50:25,589 --> 00:50:27,289
Good cop, bad cop.
1152
00:50:27,291 --> 00:50:28,324
Who's the good cop?
1153
00:50:28,326 --> 00:50:30,526
You are, kid.
1154
00:50:36,233 --> 00:50:38,434
What's up?
1155
00:50:38,436 --> 00:50:40,536
Yeah. You.
1156
00:50:40,538 --> 00:50:42,805
Look, I'm just gonna
come right out and say it,
1157
00:50:42,807 --> 00:50:45,708
you are one sexy biznitch.
1158
00:50:45,710 --> 00:50:49,512
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey,
is everything okay here?
1159
00:50:49,514 --> 00:50:51,280
Yeah, just talking
to the lady, yo.
1160
00:50:51,282 --> 00:50:52,815
Is this guy bothering you?
1161
00:50:52,817 --> 00:50:56,152
Hey! Don't make me get
rough with you, buddy.
1162
00:50:56,154 --> 00:50:57,153
Listen, mother fucker.
If I have to--
1163
00:50:57,155 --> 00:50:58,120
I get it.
1164
00:50:58,122 --> 00:50:59,422
Good cop. Bad cop.
1165
00:51:01,191 --> 00:51:03,559
Oh. Wha--
1166
00:51:08,465 --> 00:51:09,365
Thank you.
1167
00:51:09,367 --> 00:51:11,734
Yeah,
I will see you at home.
1168
00:51:14,104 --> 00:51:17,139
Wow. I am so embarrassed.
1169
00:51:17,141 --> 00:51:20,109
And I'm Kat.
1170
00:51:21,344 --> 00:51:24,280
I don't know. I just feel
really comfortable around you,
1171
00:51:24,282 --> 00:51:29,785
like already. Like I could
just tell you anything.
1172
00:51:29,787 --> 00:51:31,420
So I'm just going
to come right out with it.
1173
00:51:31,422 --> 00:51:36,459
I sort of went through this
experimental phase.
1174
00:51:36,461 --> 00:51:38,527
What? Like a drug thing?
1175
00:51:40,363 --> 00:51:42,698
No, like a sex thing.
1176
00:51:42,700 --> 00:51:45,634
Oh, like you had
a lot of sex?
1177
00:51:45,636 --> 00:51:48,571
Uh, mostly submissive
masochistic stuff.
1178
00:51:48,573 --> 00:51:51,440
You know, like spankings,
whippings, little bondage.
1179
00:51:51,442 --> 00:51:55,177
It was, it was just
this really crazy phase
1180
00:51:55,179 --> 00:51:58,180
that I went through
not that long ago.
1181
00:51:58,182 --> 00:52:01,484
Oh God. Is this too much
for you? I'm sorry,
1182
00:52:01,486 --> 00:52:03,853
I always do this. I always
reveal too much too soon.
1183
00:52:03,855 --> 00:52:06,622
No. No. No. No.
I totally get it.
1184
00:52:06,624 --> 00:52:08,724
It's like, how much are you
willing to reveal?
1185
00:52:08,726 --> 00:52:10,726
And how soon do you finally
reveal yourself?
1186
00:52:10,728 --> 00:52:13,496
Like how long do you have
to play the part of the person
1187
00:52:13,498 --> 00:52:17,199
And when do you finally
settle into playing the part
1188
00:52:17,201 --> 00:52:21,537
of the person
who you really are.
1189
00:52:21,539 --> 00:52:24,373
I like that.
1190
00:52:29,679 --> 00:52:30,479
No.
1191
00:52:30,481 --> 00:52:31,447
What are you doing?
1192
00:52:32,482 --> 00:52:34,517
I'm gonna ride you.
1193
00:52:34,519 --> 00:52:38,254
Can I just say something?
1194
00:52:38,256 --> 00:52:38,921
No.
1195
00:52:38,923 --> 00:52:40,923
Uh, I like you.
1196
00:52:40,925 --> 00:52:43,459
I mean, I don't want you to
think I'm like psycho
1197
00:52:43,461 --> 00:52:44,894
or anything, but I can tell
that there's something here.
1198
00:52:44,896 --> 00:52:47,863
You know? And of course I
wanna do
1199
00:52:47,865 --> 00:52:51,233
what I think we're gonna do,
but...
1200
00:52:51,235 --> 00:52:52,368
if we do do it--
1201
00:52:52,370 --> 00:52:53,502
Quit talking.
1202
00:52:53,504 --> 00:52:57,273
Okay. If we do do it.
1203
00:52:57,275 --> 00:52:59,708
Will there even be a date
number two?
1204
00:52:59,710 --> 00:53:02,745
I don't know. Do we call this
date number one?
1205
00:53:02,747 --> 00:53:04,513
I don't know what do you
think?
1206
00:53:05,682 --> 00:53:09,652
I mean, what do you, what
do you think?
1207
00:53:11,788 --> 00:53:13,289
Kat?
1208
00:53:13,291 --> 00:53:16,425
[light snoring]
1209
00:53:16,427 --> 00:53:17,560
[gasps]
1210
00:53:20,330 --> 00:53:22,431
Who the fuck are you?
1211
00:53:22,433 --> 00:53:25,467
I'm Dean.
1212
00:53:25,469 --> 00:53:27,903
Remember?
1213
00:53:27,905 --> 00:53:30,472
From last night?
1214
00:53:30,474 --> 00:53:32,508
Are you receding?
1215
00:53:33,343 --> 00:53:36,879
[gasps]
1216
00:53:44,988 --> 00:53:47,356
"Didn't want to wake you up.
1217
00:53:47,358 --> 00:53:52,761
Make sure to lock the door
when you leave. Kat."
1218
00:53:52,763 --> 00:53:55,831
♪ Mathclub "Brand New" ♪
1219
00:54:00,804 --> 00:54:02,871
♪♪
1220
00:55:12,008 --> 00:55:13,976
♪♪
1221
00:55:13,978 --> 00:55:14,877
No. No. No.
1222
00:55:14,879 --> 00:55:16,378
Fucking no.
1223
00:55:16,380 --> 00:55:17,546
What? What's wrong?
1224
00:55:17,548 --> 00:55:19,515
It's just that Jake seems
self-indulgent
1225
00:55:19,517 --> 00:55:20,683
and I'm not buying
his new relationship
1226
00:55:20,685 --> 00:55:23,352
Really? Because I feel
like it's going--
1227
00:55:23,354 --> 00:55:26,388
Why not have Jake take his
own life?
1228
00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:27,456
Excuse me?
1229
00:55:27,458 --> 00:55:28,590
Yeah!
1230
00:55:28,592 --> 00:55:29,658
Have him blow is brains out.
1231
00:55:29,660 --> 00:55:31,627
Yeah, or jump off
a tall building.
1232
00:55:31,629 --> 00:55:33,362
I've got it. Suicide, man!
1233
00:55:33,364 --> 00:55:34,463
I love it.
1234
00:55:34,465 --> 00:55:37,933
never really ever does
ever fall in love.
1235
00:55:37,935 --> 00:55:39,702
Instead his journey
is to come to terms
1236
00:55:39,704 --> 00:55:41,837
with his wretched
inescapable loneliness
1237
00:55:41,839 --> 00:55:43,939
which in turn leads to his
suicide,
1238
00:55:43,941 --> 00:55:47,743
transforming him into a
classically tragic figure.
1239
00:55:47,745 --> 00:55:50,746
[clapping] What do you think
about that?
1240
00:55:50,748 --> 00:55:52,381
What do you think
about this?
1241
00:55:53,883 --> 00:55:57,386
Don't take it personally
that your writing's shit.
1242
00:55:57,388 --> 00:55:59,722
I thought the beginning
was all right.
1243
00:55:59,724 --> 00:56:01,657
Fuck you.
1244
00:56:03,426 --> 00:56:04,593
You sure you're ready
to do this?
1245
00:56:04,595 --> 00:56:06,628
I've been ready
for two weeks.
1246
00:56:06,630 --> 00:56:08,664
We've only been dating for
three.
1247
00:56:08,666 --> 00:56:13,602
I know. I know and trust me,
I, I want to do it so badly,
1248
00:56:13,604 --> 00:56:16,739
but everything will change,
you know?
1249
00:56:16,741 --> 00:56:18,674
- It's just that--
- It's sex, Dean.
1250
00:56:18,676 --> 00:56:20,409
We're adults.
1251
00:56:20,411 --> 00:56:21,777
Look, I like you and I want to
be with you.
1252
00:56:21,779 --> 00:56:23,746
I don't see why things
should change.
1253
00:56:25,615 --> 00:56:27,649
You like me?
1254
00:56:27,651 --> 00:56:29,385
Yeah. I do.
1255
00:56:31,121 --> 00:56:33,489
Well, then I think we should
probably wait.
1256
00:56:33,491 --> 00:56:35,124
You know, fine. Whatever.
1257
00:56:35,126 --> 00:56:37,760
You ruined
the moment anyways.
1258
00:56:40,997 --> 00:56:42,731
Up to this point,
she's in the moment
1259
00:56:42,733 --> 00:56:44,166
and I am definitely
in the moment.
1260
00:56:44,168 --> 00:56:45,934
You know,
this is Romeo and Juliet.
1261
00:56:45,936 --> 00:56:47,169
That's pretty
challenging material,
1262
00:56:47,171 --> 00:56:49,805
so I am prepared
for the worst.
1263
00:56:49,807 --> 00:56:54,109
Drunk all and left no friendly
drop to help me after.
1264
00:56:54,111 --> 00:56:55,978
I will kiss thy lips.
1265
00:56:55,980 --> 00:56:58,680
Haply some poison yet
doth hang on them.
1266
00:56:58,682 --> 00:57:01,083
And she starts kissing me.
But I mean,
1267
00:57:01,085 --> 00:57:03,485
for like a prolonged
period of time.
1268
00:57:03,487 --> 00:57:06,655
I mean, like this chick
is really enjoying it.
1269
00:57:06,657 --> 00:57:08,924
Or maybe she was just
trying to get the poison?
1270
00:57:08,926 --> 00:57:11,493
Yeah, out of my kidneys,
maybe?
1271
00:57:11,495 --> 00:57:14,663
I look to the first watchmen
and I'm like, telepathically
1272
00:57:14,665 --> 00:57:18,033
just begging him
to say his line.
1273
00:57:18,035 --> 00:57:20,702
Lead, boy! Which way?
1274
00:57:20,704 --> 00:57:22,638
Which he does, thank God.
1275
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:25,641
Yea, noise?
Then I'll be brief.
1276
00:57:25,643 --> 00:57:29,812
Except for this chick doesn't
know what her last line is.
1277
00:57:29,814 --> 00:57:31,480
So we're just sitting there.
1278
00:57:31,482 --> 00:57:33,015
In silence.
1279
00:57:33,017 --> 00:57:35,684
I realize, fuck, I'm gonna
have to tell this girl
1280
00:57:35,686 --> 00:57:36,685
her next line.
1281
00:57:36,687 --> 00:57:40,956
O happy dagger.
1282
00:57:40,958 --> 00:57:42,724
Luckily, she figures out
what I'm trying to say.
1283
00:57:42,726 --> 00:57:44,493
She grabs the dagger
and says,
1284
00:57:44,495 --> 00:57:46,562
O happy dagger!
1285
00:57:46,564 --> 00:57:51,233
This is my sheath;
there rust, and let me die.
1286
00:57:51,235 --> 00:57:54,136
Stabs herself and collapses
on top of me. Dead.
1287
00:57:54,138 --> 00:57:56,538
Thank God.
1288
00:57:56,540 --> 00:58:00,175
I would have, except for
while she's on top of me,
1289
00:58:00,177 --> 00:58:05,247
she suddenly starts reaching fot
I mea?
1290
00:58:05,249 --> 00:58:08,750
Yeah, she's like giving me
the covert rub and tug
1291
00:58:08,752 --> 00:58:12,855
and I'm like please
end this fucking play.
1292
00:58:12,857 --> 00:58:16,725
But as it continues, I hear
the audience start to laugh.
1293
00:58:16,727 --> 00:58:19,628
I'm like, what the fuck
are they laughing at?
1294
00:58:19,630 --> 00:58:25,067
[laughter, applause]
1295
00:58:25,069 --> 00:58:27,903
♪♪
1296
00:58:27,905 --> 00:58:30,672
[inaudible laughter]
1297
00:58:36,579 --> 00:58:38,947
♪♪
1298
00:58:44,554 --> 00:58:46,755
Why don't you tell them the
one about the Indian girl?
1299
00:58:49,058 --> 00:58:50,726
What?
1300
00:58:50,728 --> 00:58:53,729
Come on. The alley. The
rooftop. The hard candy.
1301
00:58:53,731 --> 00:58:56,732
You remember? Or what
about the post office story?
1302
00:58:56,734 --> 00:58:59,902
You know, the time you got
the two stamps from that girl
1303
00:58:59,904 --> 00:59:01,303
you banged or what about
the twins that you hooked up
1304
00:59:01,305 --> 00:59:05,874
What? I'm just saying.
What's the big deal?
1305
00:59:05,876 --> 00:59:08,710
So you got a blow job
from some indian chick.
1306
00:59:08,712 --> 00:59:13,115
Okay, you know what?
Excuse me.
1307
00:59:13,117 --> 00:59:14,816
What the fuck is your
problem?
1308
00:59:18,788 --> 00:59:21,890
Wait a minute. Wait. Wait,
now who got a blow job?
1309
00:59:21,892 --> 00:59:23,759
Tess, would you wait a
second?
1310
00:59:23,761 --> 00:59:28,163
Why, Dean? What the hell
was that back there?
1311
00:59:28,165 --> 00:59:31,033
I don't know. I just--
You just what?
1312
00:59:32,835 --> 00:59:35,938
Do you have nothing to say
to me?
1313
00:59:35,940 --> 00:59:38,206
Nothing?
1314
00:59:49,953 --> 00:59:55,324
[keyboard typing]
1315
00:59:55,326 --> 00:59:56,858
[♪ sultry music ♪]
1316
00:59:56,860 --> 00:59:59,194
Whatcha working on?
1317
00:59:59,196 --> 01:00:01,997
Uh, just tossing
around a new idea.
1318
01:00:01,999 --> 01:00:04,833
Feel like tossing me
around?
1319
01:00:07,837 --> 01:00:10,305
Yeah, yeah you do. [purrs]
1320
01:00:10,307 --> 01:00:12,174
Okay, so now
that you've met all three
1321
01:00:12,176 --> 01:00:15,877
of your potential grooms,
it's time to make
1322
01:00:15,879 --> 01:00:19,214
the biggest decision
of your life.
1323
01:00:19,216 --> 01:00:21,984
So will it be groom one?
1324
01:00:21,986 --> 01:00:23,986
The former Olympian.
1325
01:00:23,988 --> 01:00:28,824
Or will it be groom two?
The multi-millionaire.
1326
01:00:28,826 --> 01:00:34,229
Or will it be groom three.
The self proclaimed geek
1327
01:00:34,231 --> 01:00:36,732
with thinning hair.
1328
01:00:36,734 --> 01:00:38,934
Well, I've given it some
actual thought
1329
01:00:38,936 --> 01:00:40,836
and I would like to spend the
rest of my life
1330
01:00:40,838 --> 01:00:43,038
with groom number three.
1331
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:44,072
[audience gasps]
1332
01:00:44,074 --> 01:00:46,274
- No way!
- Holy shit!
1333
01:00:47,343 --> 01:00:48,977
Why'd she pick the dork?
1334
01:00:48,979 --> 01:00:52,848
Guy's a fucking toolbox.
1335
01:00:54,117 --> 01:00:57,953
These, ah, these parts, is...
where's this thing?
1336
01:00:57,955 --> 01:01:01,390
Ah, these talks with the
subway conductor were,
1337
01:01:01,392 --> 01:01:04,793
- I found--
- Weird, I know.
1338
01:01:04,795 --> 01:01:06,928
Inspired, I thought.
1339
01:01:09,032 --> 01:01:11,233
This is good stuff.
1340
01:01:11,235 --> 01:01:14,102
Stuff with the hair
and the business
1341
01:01:14,104 --> 01:01:18,974
with the roommates is funny.
1342
01:01:18,976 --> 01:01:25,714
I think you have a good solid
understanding of the craft.
1343
01:01:26,282 --> 01:01:29,718
You got a style. A voice.
I like that.
1344
01:01:29,720 --> 01:01:34,222
It's a voice I'm interested in.
1345
01:01:34,224 --> 01:01:37,859
It's a voice that
almost rings true.
1346
01:01:38,928 --> 01:01:41,196
What do you mean?
1347
01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:45,133
Well, this is supposed
to be a story about a guy
1348
01:01:45,135 --> 01:01:46,835
who falls in love, right?
1349
01:01:46,837 --> 01:01:50,939
Jiminy crickets! If I'm gonna
drop my twelve bucks
1350
01:01:50,941 --> 01:01:55,310
on a ticket, I should get, I
mean, I deserve to at least
1351
01:01:55,312 --> 01:01:58,080
see him fall in love, no?
1352
01:01:58,082 --> 01:02:02,217
Well, uh, yeah, it's--you do.
It's in there.
1353
01:02:02,219 --> 01:02:06,054
Oh, I must have missed that.
1354
01:02:06,056 --> 01:02:08,323
It's--yeah, it's subtle.
1355
01:02:08,325 --> 01:02:12,160
Why don't you
point it out for me?
1356
01:02:26,109 --> 01:02:28,777
Give me a call
when you find it, kid.
1357
01:02:31,514 --> 01:02:34,082
Fuck!
1358
01:02:34,084 --> 01:02:36,451
[intercom]Next stop: Union Station.
1359
01:02:42,291 --> 01:02:46,528
Look, I love her, Pete. I do.
1360
01:02:46,530 --> 01:02:48,897
But she's making you
miserable, my friend.
1361
01:02:48,899 --> 01:02:50,098
I know.
1362
01:02:50,900 --> 01:02:53,135
Maybe it's time
for someone new.
1363
01:02:53,137 --> 01:02:56,438
Yeah, I hear ya.
1364
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:59,808
Hey. We should have
a party this weekend.
1365
01:02:59,810 --> 01:03:02,477
Last party in The Cave.
1366
01:03:02,479 --> 01:03:05,514
Huh? Come on, man.
What do you say?
1367
01:03:05,516 --> 01:03:08,350
And do I invite Beth?
1368
01:03:08,352 --> 01:03:11,987
Invite Beth.
By all means, invite Beth.
1369
01:03:11,989 --> 01:03:14,322
Have a good time
with her if possible,
1370
01:03:14,324 --> 01:03:16,091
but just do me a favor,
okay?
1371
01:03:16,093 --> 01:03:18,059
Take a look around
and see if anything sparks
1372
01:03:18,061 --> 01:03:19,461
your interest, you know?
1373
01:03:19,463 --> 01:03:20,829
Hey.
1374
01:03:26,035 --> 01:03:29,171
Hey I can't quite exactly
tell you what I was thinking
1375
01:03:29,173 --> 01:03:32,040
and I know you think
I sold you out
1376
01:03:32,042 --> 01:03:34,142
and I'm not worth a shit.
And you know what?
1377
01:03:34,144 --> 01:03:36,845
You're probably right
in thinking that.
1378
01:03:36,847 --> 01:03:40,115
I just came here to let you
know that I know
1379
01:03:40,117 --> 01:03:44,586
I was wrong and I'm sorry.
1380
01:03:44,588 --> 01:03:46,221
I really am.
1381
01:03:52,595 --> 01:03:55,063
And I guess that's
all I had to say.
1382
01:03:57,366 --> 01:03:59,267
You up for a party?
1383
01:04:00,870 --> 01:04:03,238
One last hurrah
in The Cave?
1384
01:04:09,078 --> 01:04:12,848
♪ Chris Reeder
"Taking Over" ♪
1385
01:04:16,118 --> 01:04:18,186
♪♪
1386
01:04:29,432 --> 01:04:31,499
♪♪
1387
01:04:36,205 --> 01:04:37,072
Hug me.
1388
01:04:37,074 --> 01:04:38,173
What's wrong?
1389
01:04:38,175 --> 01:04:40,242
I look like hell.
1390
01:04:44,180 --> 01:04:45,881
- Hey, beauty.
- Hi.
1391
01:04:47,116 --> 01:04:48,216
You know anybody here?
1392
01:04:48,218 --> 01:04:49,885
Nope.
1393
01:04:49,887 --> 01:04:51,086
Wanna dance?
1394
01:04:51,088 --> 01:04:52,087
Yes, please.
1395
01:04:56,259 --> 01:04:58,126
♪♪
1396
01:05:03,566 --> 01:05:05,267
Baby.
1397
01:05:05,269 --> 01:05:07,636
Baby.
1398
01:05:12,275 --> 01:05:14,509
You guys look
so great together.
1399
01:05:14,511 --> 01:05:17,946
Thank you.
Um, almost two years.
1400
01:05:17,948 --> 01:05:20,282
It's so weird how quickly
it all goes by. Right baby?
1401
01:05:20,284 --> 01:05:21,583
- So weird. Yeah.
- Yeah.
1402
01:05:21,585 --> 01:05:22,651
Flies by.
1403
01:05:25,488 --> 01:05:27,155
I'm sorry. I always do this.
1404
01:05:27,157 --> 01:05:29,424
You know my, my therapist,
she says that, uh...
1405
01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:31,359
large social gatherings
bring out my insecurities
1406
01:05:31,361 --> 01:05:33,061
or something crazy like that.
1407
01:05:33,063 --> 01:05:34,296
Oh, you're in therapy?
1408
01:05:34,298 --> 01:05:35,664
Yeah, is that a problem?
1409
01:05:35,666 --> 01:05:38,366
Oh no. I just had no idea
you were in therapy.
1410
01:05:38,368 --> 01:05:40,135
Can you stop saying it
like that?
1411
01:05:40,137 --> 01:05:41,036
Like what?
1412
01:05:41,038 --> 01:05:42,203
Like all judgey?
1413
01:05:42,205 --> 01:05:43,672
Who's judgey?
I'm not judgey.
1414
01:05:43,674 --> 01:05:45,140
You totally are.
I can see it in your eyes.
1415
01:05:45,142 --> 01:05:46,141
No, I'm not.
1416
01:05:46,143 --> 01:05:47,676
You are!
1417
01:05:49,278 --> 01:05:51,079
Maybe you should get some
therapy to deal
1418
01:05:51,081 --> 01:05:52,681
with your insecurity about
being in therapy?
1419
01:05:52,683 --> 01:05:54,215
Hmm, maybe you should
fuck yourself.
1420
01:05:54,217 --> 01:05:56,318
Excuse me?
1421
01:05:56,320 --> 01:05:57,519
Baby, I'm sorry.
That, oh, that wasn't me.
1422
01:05:57,521 --> 01:05:59,254
I'm so sorry. Come here,
please. I'm sorry.
1423
01:05:59,256 --> 01:06:02,724
It's okay. It's fine.
1424
01:06:06,495 --> 01:06:07,696
What was that?
1425
01:06:07,698 --> 01:06:09,197
Just a pill.
1426
01:06:10,166 --> 01:06:12,200
♪♪
1427
01:06:12,202 --> 01:06:17,238
[inaudible dialogue]
1428
01:06:17,240 --> 01:06:23,278
♪♪
1429
01:06:23,280 --> 01:06:25,213
For our anniversary,
we were thinking Cabo
1430
01:06:25,215 --> 01:06:27,015
or maybe Hawaii.
1431
01:06:27,017 --> 01:06:29,351
It really doesn't matter
as long as it's tropical.
1432
01:06:29,353 --> 01:06:30,418
And he can golf.
1433
01:06:30,420 --> 01:06:31,319
Love golf.
1434
01:06:31,321 --> 01:06:38,293
♪♪
1435
01:06:38,295 --> 01:06:43,365
♪♪
1436
01:06:43,367 --> 01:06:47,769
♪♪
1437
01:06:55,644 --> 01:06:57,679
Where are you going?
1438
01:06:57,681 --> 01:07:00,515
Uh, I was just going
to let you rest.
1439
01:07:00,517 --> 01:07:02,283
But I don't need rest.
1440
01:07:02,285 --> 01:07:04,619
and we can start the whole
night over. Okay?
1441
01:07:04,621 --> 01:07:06,254
We'll do anything you want.
1442
01:07:06,256 --> 01:07:08,356
Can we leave?
1443
01:07:11,127 --> 01:07:13,361
Sure.
1444
01:07:13,363 --> 01:07:17,265
What? Oh my God!
That's so wonderful!
1445
01:07:17,267 --> 01:07:19,167
Isn't that great, baby?
1446
01:07:19,169 --> 01:07:20,635
Congratulations.
1447
01:07:24,306 --> 01:07:25,540
Shit.
1448
01:07:25,542 --> 01:07:27,275
Beth! Beth!
1449
01:07:34,050 --> 01:07:35,784
Andre!
1450
01:07:35,786 --> 01:07:38,420
Anna?
1451
01:07:38,422 --> 01:07:40,288
Who's this?
1452
01:07:40,290 --> 01:07:42,323
Uh, his girl.
1453
01:07:42,325 --> 01:07:44,325
Who the hell are you?
1454
01:07:44,327 --> 01:07:47,562
I'm Anna. His girl.
1455
01:07:47,564 --> 01:07:49,597
Anna! Anna! Wait!
1456
01:07:49,599 --> 01:07:51,299
Shit, wait!
1457
01:07:51,301 --> 01:07:53,268
[speaking Spanish]
1458
01:07:53,270 --> 01:07:58,673
[♪ Neon Parade
"Boys Will B Boyz" ♪]
1459
01:07:58,675 --> 01:08:05,346
♪♪
1460
01:08:05,348 --> 01:08:10,385
♪♪
1461
01:08:10,387 --> 01:08:12,754
Hey, you okay?
1462
01:08:12,756 --> 01:08:14,289
Yeah, I'm fine.
1463
01:08:14,291 --> 01:08:15,757
I'm gonna go grab a drink.
Okay?
1464
01:08:15,759 --> 01:08:18,293
And when I get back, just...
1465
01:08:18,295 --> 01:08:19,861
Okay?
1466
01:08:19,863 --> 01:08:25,133
♪♪
1467
01:08:25,135 --> 01:08:28,436
[♪ Golden State
"Take Me Out" ♪]
1468
01:08:28,438 --> 01:08:30,305
[whispers]
I'm sorry.
1469
01:08:30,307 --> 01:08:32,373
♪♪
1470
01:09:18,554 --> 01:09:20,622
♪♪
1471
01:09:26,462 --> 01:09:28,429
[♪ song fades out ♪]
1472
01:09:28,431 --> 01:09:30,265
E.
1473
01:09:31,233 --> 01:09:33,601
[♪ dance music ♪]
1474
01:09:38,374 --> 01:09:39,774
I gotta go.
1475
01:09:39,776 --> 01:09:42,277
Yeah, so do I.
1476
01:09:43,779 --> 01:09:46,314
Hey, you ready?
1477
01:09:46,316 --> 01:09:47,782
Are you?
1478
01:09:47,784 --> 01:09:49,551
Yeah, let's roll.
1479
01:09:49,553 --> 01:09:50,618
All right.
1480
01:09:54,723 --> 01:09:56,958
Huh. Where're they going?
1481
01:09:56,960 --> 01:09:59,360
I don't know
where they're going.
1482
01:10:00,429 --> 01:10:02,397
Let's go.
1483
01:10:02,399 --> 01:10:08,670
♪♪
1484
01:10:08,672 --> 01:10:10,738
♪♪
1485
01:10:23,519 --> 01:10:25,553
Let's go. Come on.
1486
01:10:33,429 --> 01:10:36,364
[clears throat]
Uh...
1487
01:10:36,366 --> 01:10:39,968
Did I, uh, did I ever tell you
about the time in college
1488
01:10:39,970 --> 01:10:42,737
when I was with twins?
1489
01:10:42,739 --> 01:10:45,573
You know, I mean, it was
weird because, I mean,
1490
01:10:45,575 --> 01:10:49,611
one of them had these just
really beautiful tits
1491
01:10:49,613 --> 01:10:54,983
and you know, the other, she
was flat as a pancake.
1492
01:10:54,985 --> 01:10:57,318
Which made me wonder, I
mean, were they identical
1493
01:10:57,320 --> 01:10:59,520
or fraternal twins because I
mean, yeah, sure they had
1494
01:10:59,522 --> 01:11:03,758
very similar faces,
but their breasts
1495
01:11:03,760 --> 01:11:06,928
were completely different
sizes.
1496
01:11:06,930 --> 01:11:08,529
[clears throat]
1497
01:11:10,633 --> 01:11:12,400
Thanks, Jay.
1498
01:11:13,702 --> 01:11:15,670
Go get him.
1499
01:11:20,776 --> 01:11:22,944
I'm an idiot.
1500
01:11:22,946 --> 01:11:26,948
♪♪
1501
01:11:26,950 --> 01:11:29,550
[car engine starts]
1502
01:11:31,420 --> 01:11:33,488
Hey, are you okay?
1503
01:11:33,490 --> 01:11:35,857
Yeah, no. I'm fine.
1504
01:11:38,527 --> 01:11:42,630
[muffled dance music]
1505
01:11:51,907 --> 01:11:53,875
Anna, wait.
1506
01:11:53,877 --> 01:11:55,743
Anna! Anna! Anna!
Wait wait wait.
1507
01:11:55,745 --> 01:11:57,712
Andre, stop.
I don't want to hear it, okay?
1508
01:11:57,714 --> 01:11:59,681
- Just listen for one second.
- Stop.
1509
01:12:00,883 --> 01:12:01,916
Anna.
1510
01:12:01,918 --> 01:12:03,518
- LAX, please.
- Anna, don't.
1511
01:12:03,520 --> 01:12:05,653
Don't do this.
1512
01:12:12,094 --> 01:12:13,761
[car engine starts]
1513
01:12:13,763 --> 01:12:14,896
LAX?
1514
01:12:14,898 --> 01:12:16,097
Hi.
1515
01:12:16,099 --> 01:12:21,536
[talk radio playing in cab]
1516
01:12:21,538 --> 01:12:22,036
Beth.
1517
01:12:22,038 --> 01:12:22,870
Let go.
1518
01:12:22,872 --> 01:12:24,372
Please just stop.
1519
01:12:24,374 --> 01:12:25,740
You are hurting me.
1520
01:12:25,742 --> 01:12:27,342
[splashing]
1521
01:12:27,810 --> 01:12:29,110
Oh my!
1522
01:12:31,680 --> 01:12:36,117
[splashing, Beth laughs]
1523
01:12:36,119 --> 01:12:38,453
Here!
1524
01:12:41,757 --> 01:12:43,624
[Beth yells, splashing]
1525
01:12:43,626 --> 01:12:47,462
[laughing]
Oh my God!
1526
01:12:52,735 --> 01:12:53,868
Dean.
1527
01:12:53,870 --> 01:12:55,370
Yeah?
1528
01:12:57,072 --> 01:12:58,673
I love you.
1529
01:13:07,883 --> 01:13:11,586
[intercom]Next stop: Union Station
1530
01:13:11,588 --> 01:13:14,088
You hear that voice, Dean?
1531
01:13:14,090 --> 01:13:15,790
What voice?
1532
01:13:15,792 --> 01:13:17,959
The voice in your head.
1533
01:13:17,961 --> 01:13:20,161
You mean you?
1534
01:13:20,163 --> 01:13:23,064
Exactly and what am I tellingyou to do?
1535
01:13:23,066 --> 01:13:26,134
[♪ Names of Stars
"Are You" ♪]
1536
01:13:30,439 --> 01:13:32,507
♪♪
1537
01:14:16,084 --> 01:14:18,152
♪♪
1538
01:14:19,855 --> 01:14:22,723
[Jay and woman giggle
behind curtain]
1539
01:14:22,725 --> 01:14:23,991
Hey, guys?
1540
01:14:23,993 --> 01:14:27,562
[giggling continues]
1541
01:14:27,564 --> 01:14:29,230
Tess, I need
to speak with you.
1542
01:14:29,232 --> 01:14:32,733
[giggling, moaning]
1543
01:14:32,735 --> 01:14:34,068
Shit.
1544
01:14:34,070 --> 01:14:36,170
No. Stop.
1545
01:14:36,172 --> 01:14:37,772
Dude.
1546
01:14:37,774 --> 01:14:40,241
Hey, I need to speak with
Tess for a second.
1547
01:14:40,243 --> 01:14:42,477
That's great. Not here.
1548
01:14:42,479 --> 01:14:43,177
She's not?
1549
01:14:43,179 --> 01:14:46,514
Is he joining us?
1550
01:14:48,217 --> 01:14:51,652
Oh, thank God.
1551
01:14:54,223 --> 01:14:55,022
It frightens him.
1552
01:14:55,024 --> 01:14:57,091
♪♪
1553
01:15:08,170 --> 01:15:10,238
♪♪
1554
01:15:12,107 --> 01:15:13,174
Hi.
1555
01:15:21,049 --> 01:15:23,184
So.
1556
01:15:23,186 --> 01:15:24,785
So.
1557
01:15:26,788 --> 01:15:30,825
So I take it things didn't go
so hot for you and Jay?
1558
01:15:30,827 --> 01:15:32,927
Looks that way.
1559
01:15:32,929 --> 01:15:34,762
How about you and Kat?
1560
01:15:34,764 --> 01:15:38,566
Oh, you know.
She told me she loved me.
1561
01:15:38,568 --> 01:15:40,735
And what'd you say?
1562
01:15:40,737 --> 01:15:43,905
I said thanks.
1563
01:15:43,907 --> 01:15:45,806
Thanks?
1564
01:15:45,808 --> 01:15:47,275
Thanks.
1565
01:15:47,277 --> 01:15:49,777
No thanks.
1566
01:15:49,779 --> 01:15:52,914
Yeah, I don't know. She just
wasn't the one.
1567
01:15:52,916 --> 01:15:53,915
Too many issues, you
know?
1568
01:15:53,917 --> 01:15:55,616
You or her?
1569
01:15:55,618 --> 01:15:56,851
What? I don't have issues.
1570
01:15:56,853 --> 01:15:57,885
Are you on crack?
1571
01:15:57,887 --> 01:15:59,921
Not at the moment.
1572
01:15:59,923 --> 01:16:01,889
First of all,
you're self-abusive.
1573
01:16:01,891 --> 01:16:03,858
What? Like in what way?
1574
01:16:03,860 --> 01:16:06,160
Like in the way you love
being miserable.
1575
01:16:06,162 --> 01:16:08,062
I don't think that's accurate.
1576
01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:09,697
Okay. You know,
just keep living
1577
01:16:09,699 --> 01:16:11,899
in your fantasy world, Dean.
1578
01:16:11,901 --> 01:16:14,769
As if you don't have issues?
1579
01:16:14,771 --> 01:16:17,805
Miss look for the signs?
Ooh, God. Look! The signs!
1580
01:16:17,807 --> 01:16:18,806
They're there.
1581
01:16:18,808 --> 01:16:20,808
I never said I didn't.
1582
01:16:20,810 --> 01:16:21,943
So you don't deny it?
1583
01:16:21,945 --> 01:16:24,011
No. I don't deny it.
1584
01:16:24,013 --> 01:16:26,013
So you're saying
you have issues?
1585
01:16:26,015 --> 01:16:27,915
Have I told you
how much I hate you?
1586
01:16:27,917 --> 01:16:29,784
You don't hate me.
1587
01:16:29,786 --> 01:16:32,119
No, really. I do.
1588
01:16:32,121 --> 01:16:34,255
You really hate me?
1589
01:16:34,257 --> 01:16:36,724
No, Dean.
1590
01:16:36,726 --> 01:16:38,859
I don't hate you.
1591
01:16:46,034 --> 01:16:47,835
Taxi!
1592
01:16:52,307 --> 01:16:56,077
That's my ride.
1593
01:17:03,151 --> 01:17:06,921
Okay. Goodnight then.
1594
01:17:20,035 --> 01:17:22,103
And well played.
1595
01:17:26,675 --> 01:17:32,847
[♪ romantic music ♪]
1596
01:17:32,849 --> 01:17:34,849
Hey! Are those fresh?
1597
01:17:34,851 --> 01:17:37,051
Go get her, you idiot.
1598
01:17:37,053 --> 01:17:43,758
♪♪
1599
01:17:43,760 --> 01:17:50,231
♪♪
1600
01:17:50,233 --> 01:17:56,237
♪♪
1601
01:17:56,239 --> 01:18:02,009
♪♪
1602
01:18:02,011 --> 01:18:08,783
♪♪
1603
01:18:08,785 --> 01:18:11,018
♪♪
1604
01:18:11,020 --> 01:18:13,754
No no no no.
1605
01:18:13,756 --> 01:18:15,723
Dammit.
1606
01:18:17,359 --> 01:18:19,093
Fuck.
1607
01:18:19,095 --> 01:18:20,961
[tires screeching]
1608
01:18:20,963 --> 01:18:27,068
♪♪
1609
01:18:27,070 --> 01:18:29,970
♪♪
1610
01:18:29,972 --> 01:18:32,039
What is this asshole doing?
1611
01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:33,974
What are you talking about?
1612
01:18:33,976 --> 01:18:36,210
♪♪
1613
01:18:36,212 --> 01:18:39,380
Um, I'm gonna.
I wanna get out here, okay?
1614
01:18:39,382 --> 01:18:41,315
Here you go. Thank you.
1615
01:18:41,317 --> 01:18:47,221
♪♪
1616
01:18:47,223 --> 01:18:53,861
♪♪
1617
01:18:53,863 --> 01:18:59,333
♪♪
1618
01:18:59,335 --> 01:19:03,037
♪♪
1619
01:19:03,039 --> 01:19:07,241
Here. For dealing
with my crap.
1620
01:19:09,010 --> 01:19:11,011
I'll take 'em.
1621
01:19:11,880 --> 01:19:14,849
I love you so much.
1622
01:19:14,851 --> 01:19:21,288
♪♪
1623
01:19:21,290 --> 01:19:25,326
[song fades out]
1624
01:19:41,343 --> 01:19:43,077
True story?
1625
01:19:44,546 --> 01:19:46,881
Just a story.
1626
01:19:55,223 --> 01:19:57,057
Ice cream!
1627
01:19:57,859 --> 01:20:01,128
[wrestling,
indistinct dialogue]
1628
01:20:01,130 --> 01:20:02,830
What the fuck are you
gonna do?
1629
01:20:02,832 --> 01:20:04,865
I will fucking hump you
right now.
1630
01:20:04,867 --> 01:20:07,968
[laughs]
Oh my God!
1631
01:20:21,883 --> 01:20:24,485
You think Jay
is gonna be okay?
1632
01:20:28,089 --> 01:20:30,357
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I have to warn you.
1633
01:20:30,359 --> 01:20:32,593
I kinda went through
an experimental phase.
1634
01:20:32,595 --> 01:20:36,130
No way. Me too.
1635
01:20:38,366 --> 01:20:40,401
Yeah, he'll be fine.
1636
01:20:40,403 --> 01:20:44,939
All right. Got everything?
1637
01:20:44,941 --> 01:20:47,107
Yeah. Definitely.
1638
01:20:50,612 --> 01:20:55,549
♪♪
1639
01:20:55,551 --> 01:21:02,056
♪♪
1640
01:21:02,058 --> 01:21:04,091
[keyboard typing]
1641
01:21:04,093 --> 01:21:09,964
♪♪
1642
01:21:09,966 --> 01:21:15,135
♪♪
1643
01:21:15,137 --> 01:21:19,273
[♪ Name of Stars
"This Place" ♪]
1644
01:21:19,275 --> 01:21:21,342
♪♪
1645
01:22:05,120 --> 01:22:07,187
♪♪
1646
01:22:10,592 --> 01:22:12,993
Yeah, you know, here's the
thing about masturbation.
1647
01:22:12,995 --> 01:22:18,132
It is like a cookie, because
at first you like it,
1648
01:22:18,134 --> 01:22:20,200
then you regret it, and kind
of get a little farty.
1649
01:22:20,202 --> 01:22:22,670
Seriously? We're still filming
this?
1650
01:22:22,672 --> 01:22:26,173
[Dean and Tess singing] Kiekissing my bro.
1651
01:22:26,175 --> 01:22:29,176
- Cause he is dead!- And he is dead!
1652
01:22:29,178 --> 01:22:30,244
- Woo!
- [blows raspberry]
1653
01:22:30,246 --> 01:22:34,148
Yep. It's that time.
1654
01:22:34,150 --> 01:22:36,383
Oh!
1655
01:22:36,385 --> 01:22:38,018
Really?
1656
01:22:38,020 --> 01:22:39,353
She's making you miserable,
my friend.
1657
01:22:39,355 --> 01:22:42,323
I know.
1658
01:22:42,325 --> 01:22:44,258
[laughs]
1659
01:22:44,260 --> 01:22:45,626
Guys, Kenny is schvitzing
1660
01:22:45,628 --> 01:22:48,395
like a "schvintagoyd"
over here.
1661
01:22:48,397 --> 01:22:51,165
I'll do the crotch adjustment
this time, sir.
1662
01:22:51,167 --> 01:22:53,200
[crew] I don't know if we'lltunless you really--
1663
01:22:53,202 --> 01:22:54,335
Oh, you'll see it.
1664
01:22:54,337 --> 01:22:56,437
[laughs]
1665
01:22:57,172 --> 01:22:58,339
Oh! Ow!
1666
01:22:58,341 --> 01:23:02,743
First of all, I just clocked
you. Are you okay?
1667
01:23:02,745 --> 01:23:05,112
- I'm fine.
- Okay.
1668
01:23:07,649 --> 01:23:09,316
[laughs]
1669
01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:12,486
Ah! I'm so close!
I want a big one!
1670
01:23:12,488 --> 01:23:14,288
I want a really big one!
Don't look at anything!
1671
01:23:14,290 --> 01:23:16,156
Don't--say something!
Say something!
1672
01:23:16,158 --> 01:23:17,658
Don't say anything!
Don't say anything!
1673
01:23:17,660 --> 01:23:19,560
Oh, where's the light.
I see the light!
1674
01:23:19,562 --> 01:23:21,495
The tingles are coming!
1675
01:23:21,497 --> 01:23:24,331
Feel free to use that
in your script, son.
1676
01:23:24,333 --> 01:23:26,200
Who wants a drink?
Sweetheart, oh God,
1677
01:23:26,202 --> 01:23:27,401
you look lonely.
1678
01:23:27,403 --> 01:23:28,268
Cut!
1679
01:23:28,270 --> 01:23:30,537
[laughter]
1680
01:23:30,539 --> 01:23:32,272
Guess what no is in
spanish?
1681
01:23:32,274 --> 01:23:33,140
What?
1682
01:23:33,142 --> 01:23:34,208
No!
1683
01:23:34,210 --> 01:23:36,377
[indistinct dialogue]
1684
01:23:36,379 --> 01:23:38,379
Don't say anything!
Don't say anything!
1685
01:23:38,381 --> 01:23:41,281
Stop moving your head!
Stop it! Okay!
1686
01:23:41,283 --> 01:23:43,751
[car door slams]
1687
01:23:43,753 --> 01:23:46,153
Vroom! Vroom!
1688
01:23:46,155 --> 01:23:47,121
- He won!
- Uh huh.
1689
01:23:47,123 --> 01:23:47,721
Look at the guy that won!
1690
01:23:47,723 --> 01:23:48,522
[creaking, screaming]
1691
01:23:48,524 --> 01:23:49,723
Cut!
1692
01:23:49,725 --> 01:23:52,126
Okay!
1693
01:23:52,128 --> 01:23:53,327
[laughing]
1694
01:23:53,329 --> 01:23:55,295
Action!
1695
01:23:56,297 --> 01:23:57,364
You're...
1696
01:23:57,366 --> 01:23:58,732
What's the first line?
1697
01:23:58,734 --> 01:24:00,134
[laughing]
1698
01:24:01,269 --> 01:24:03,570
- Move over.
- Well, I just...
1699
01:24:03,572 --> 01:24:04,638
We could still like
do other stuff.
1700
01:24:04,640 --> 01:24:05,439
No, no! There's --
1701
01:24:05,441 --> 01:24:06,473
And, cut!
1702
01:24:06,475 --> 01:24:08,642
[laughs]
1703
01:24:08,644 --> 01:24:11,645
Fuck you, Stan! It's like
[indistinct] [trails off]
1704
01:24:11,647 --> 01:24:13,547
[laughs]
1705
01:24:15,817 --> 01:24:21,388
[singing]
Do do do do do do...
1706
01:24:21,390 --> 01:24:22,256
Cut!
1707
01:24:22,258 --> 01:24:23,657
Please make me stop.
1708
01:24:23,659 --> 01:24:24,591
Get out of it! Get out of it!
1709
01:24:24,593 --> 01:24:25,459
Roll off!
1710
01:24:25,461 --> 01:24:26,427
What?
1711
01:24:26,429 --> 01:24:27,327
Roll it off.
1712
01:24:27,329 --> 01:24:29,763
Oh, oh. [screams]
1713
01:24:29,765 --> 01:24:31,298
[exhales loudly]
1714
01:24:31,300 --> 01:24:32,366
Jesus.
1715
01:24:32,368 --> 01:24:33,100
And that's a wrap!
1716
01:24:33,102 --> 01:24:34,101
Cut.
1717
01:24:34,103 --> 01:24:35,769
[laughs]
1718
01:24:35,771 --> 01:24:40,641
♪♪
1719
01:26:37,792 --> 01:26:40,561
[song ends]
1719
01:26:41,305 --> 01:26:47,681
117327
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