Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
2
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:30,874
Good afternoon. Wide World of Sports
is in the little Republic of San Marcos
3
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:34,620
where we're going to bring you a live,
on-the-spot assassination.
4
00:00:34,744 --> 00:00:38,124
They're going to kill the president
of this lovely Latin American country
5
00:00:38,248 --> 00:00:40,788
and replace him
with a military dictatorship,
6
00:00:40,917 --> 00:00:43,917
and everybody is about as excited
and tense as can be.
7
00:00:44,546 --> 00:00:46,796
The weather on this
Sunday afternoon is perfect,
8
00:00:46,923 --> 00:00:50,593
and if you've just joined us,
we've seen a series of colourful riots
9
00:00:50,718 --> 00:00:53,968
that started with the traditional bombing
of the American Embassy,
10
00:00:54,097 --> 00:00:56,677
a ritual as old as the city itself.
11
00:00:56,808 --> 00:01:00,148
Following that, the leader
of the Labour Union, Julio Doaz,
12
00:01:00,270 --> 00:01:03,190
was dragged from his home
and beaten by an angry mob.
13
00:01:03,314 --> 00:01:06,614
It was one of the most exciting
spectacles I've ever seen.
14
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:10,164
We'll probably have
a videotape replay of that later on.
15
00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,530
All around, there are
colourful flags and hats.
16
00:01:13,658 --> 00:01:16,078
And now the moment
we've been waiting for is here.
17
00:01:16,202 --> 00:01:17,662
Everyone is getting quiet.
18
00:01:17,787 --> 00:01:21,827
The president is going to leave his office
and walk down the steps of the palace.
19
00:01:21,958 --> 00:01:24,498
For that, we're going down
on the playing area.
20
00:01:24,627 --> 00:01:26,957
Take it away, Howard.
21
00:01:29,090 --> 00:01:31,590
This is tremendous, Don, just tremendous.
22
00:01:31,718 --> 00:01:36,258
The atmosphere heavy, uncertain,
overtones of ugliness.
23
00:01:36,389 --> 00:01:40,889
A reminder, in a way, of how it was
in March of 1964 at Miami Beach
24
00:01:41,019 --> 00:01:43,059
when Clay met Liston for the first time
25
00:01:43,188 --> 00:01:45,648
and nobody was certain
how it would turn out.
26
00:01:45,773 --> 00:01:48,993
The crowd is tense.
They've been here since ten this morning.
27
00:01:49,110 --> 00:01:54,490
And... And I think I see...
the door beginning to open.
28
00:01:54,616 --> 00:01:57,866
El presidente may be coming out.
29
00:02:00,163 --> 00:02:02,673
The door opens. It's he.
30
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:04,830
It's El presidente.
31
00:02:04,959 --> 00:02:07,299
(CROWD CHEERS)
32
00:02:09,339 --> 00:02:11,299
A bullet rings out.
33
00:02:11,424 --> 00:02:13,094
He turns!
34
00:02:13,218 --> 00:02:15,138
(INDISTINCT COMMENTARY)
35
00:02:24,604 --> 00:02:25,864
And down!
36
00:02:32,278 --> 00:02:35,738
It's over. It's all over for
El presidente!
37
00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:39,825
This reporter is going to get to him,
if he can, through this mob
38
00:02:39,953 --> 00:02:42,583
for one last word before he expires.
39
00:02:42,705 --> 00:02:45,535
As you can see,
this crowd is not to be trifled with.
40
00:02:45,667 --> 00:02:49,047
They're in a frenzy. They're trying
to get over to El presidente
41
00:02:49,170 --> 00:02:51,670
even as I am trying to do now.
42
00:02:51,798 --> 00:02:56,008
Would you people let me through?
This is American television.
43
00:02:56,135 --> 00:02:59,885
American television.
Please let me through.
44
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:02,064
We're getting through now.
45
00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:04,733
Here we are. Here we are, sir.
46
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:08,272
Sir, you've been shot.
When did you know it was all over?
47
00:03:08,398 --> 00:03:11,068
Fascist... dictator.
48
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,491
Well, of course you're upset.
49
00:03:13,611 --> 00:03:16,241
That's understandable
under the circumstances.
50
00:03:16,364 --> 00:03:19,374
I guess now you'll have to announce
your retirement.
51
00:03:21,953 --> 00:03:24,163
Well, good luck to you, sir.
Good luck to you.
52
00:03:24,289 --> 00:03:27,039
And now, if you folks will bear
with me for a moment,
53
00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:31,046
I'm going to try and get in a word
with the new dictator of San Marcos.
54
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:34,970
That's assuming I can get through
this noisy and demonstrative crowd.
55
00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,391
I wonder if you people
would let me through.
56
00:03:37,510 --> 00:03:39,890
I see the general off in the distance.
57
00:03:40,013 --> 00:03:42,853
The new dictator
talking to one of his men.
58
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,060
Excuse me. Excuse me, sir.
59
00:03:46,185 --> 00:03:51,725
General. General, congratulations.
General Emilio Molina Vargas.
60
00:03:51,858 --> 00:03:55,108
General, a word from you,
if you will, sir, for our viewers.
61
00:03:55,236 --> 00:03:57,736
For many years,
I have waited for this day,
62
00:03:57,864 --> 00:03:59,494
but now I am the state.
63
00:03:59,616 --> 00:04:03,656
You may say that, sir,
but many important diplomats contend
64
00:04:03,786 --> 00:04:06,956
that you remain
the most hated man in the state.
65
00:04:07,081 --> 00:04:10,631
I will shut down the newspapers.
I will train my soldiers.
66
00:04:10,752 --> 00:04:12,302
We'll find the rebels.
67
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:16,920
The rebels may be in the form of democratic
guerrilla factions off in the hills.
68
00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:19,340
No, sir. We'll find them.
We'll find them, don't worry.
69
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:22,347
- Good luck to you, sir.
- Thank you, sir.
70
00:04:22,472 --> 00:04:24,932
Well, you've heard it with your own eyes.
71
00:04:25,058 --> 00:04:28,188
Now we're going to have to see
what the future brings.
72
00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:32,771
Right now, from the little dictatorship
of San Marcos in Latin America,
73
00:04:32,899 --> 00:04:37,199
let's go back to Jim McLane
in our studios in New York.
74
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:39,070
(GUNSHOTS)
75
00:04:46,162 --> 00:04:48,122
(GUNSHOTS)
76
00:04:49,248 --> 00:04:51,668
(# THE YOMO TORO TRIO: "QUIERO LA NOCHE")
77
00:04:53,336 --> 00:04:55,086
(GUNSHOTS)
78
00:05:02,220 --> 00:05:04,100
(GUNSHOTS)
79
00:05:11,062 --> 00:05:12,902
(GUNSHOTS)
80
00:05:19,904 --> 00:05:21,574
(GUNSHOTS)
81
00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:36,125
(GUNSHOTS)
82
00:05:39,799 --> 00:05:41,469
(GUNSHOTS)
83
00:05:48,641 --> 00:05:50,391
(GUNSHOTS)
84
00:05:57,483 --> 00:05:59,403
(GUNSHOTS)
85
00:06:06,325 --> 00:06:08,535
(GUNSHOTS)
86
00:06:18,838 --> 00:06:20,918
(GUNSHOTS)
87
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,798
Gentlemen, the Exec-usiser.
88
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:26,426
The latest work-in-progress
at General Equipment.
89
00:06:27,180 --> 00:06:29,470
It's only in the development stage
at the moment,
90
00:06:29,599 --> 00:06:32,389
but it should be practical
and in the market within two years.
91
00:06:32,518 --> 00:06:34,558
CUSTOMER: It certainly looks impressive.
92
00:06:34,687 --> 00:06:36,307
SALESMAN: The Exec-usiser is a device
93
00:06:36,439 --> 00:06:38,609
to help busy executives
getting their daily exercise
94
00:06:38,733 --> 00:06:41,573
without ever pausing
in their crowded work schedule.
95
00:06:41,694 --> 00:06:45,364
As you well know, more Americans
suffer heart attacks from lack of exercise.
96
00:06:45,490 --> 00:06:48,660
And you know why? Well, it's because
there aren't enough hours in the day
97
00:06:48,785 --> 00:06:52,955
to keep physically fit and still function
effectively in one's business.
98
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,210
This is Mr Fielding Mellish,
one of our company's research testers,
99
00:06:56,334 --> 00:06:59,094
who will demonstrate the Exec-usiser.
100
00:06:59,212 --> 00:07:03,342
You'll notice every part of the body
receives an adequate exercise work-out.
101
00:07:03,466 --> 00:07:07,176
The pedalling action develops the muscles
and keeps the leg muscles flexible.
102
00:07:07,303 --> 00:07:10,643
When Mr Mellish pulls the drawer out,
you'll see a weight
103
00:07:10,765 --> 00:07:12,425
that has to be lifted on top of the desk,
104
00:07:12,558 --> 00:07:14,888
which exercises his arms
and his back muscles.
105
00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:17,899
You'll notice that the telephones
are both spring-activated.
106
00:07:18,022 --> 00:07:20,652
Now, in that spring-activation,
both muscles in the biceps
107
00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:24,105
are given an adequate work-out
to sustain flexible arms.
108
00:07:24,237 --> 00:07:27,027
And on the back wall, you'll notice
there's a handle for each arm.
109
00:07:27,156 --> 00:07:29,986
As he pulls those handles,
the back muscles are brought into action
110
00:07:30,117 --> 00:07:32,997
in a manner that keeps
the back flexible and strong.
111
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,500
Notice the basketballs
coming from inside the machine,
112
00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:39,003
and the basketballs, as they're handled
by Mr Mellish, develop reflexes.
113
00:07:43,840 --> 00:07:45,880
Any idea how many you can put out a year?
114
00:07:46,008 --> 00:07:47,928
Well, we'd like you to manufacture them.
115
00:07:48,052 --> 00:07:50,432
We can let you have the idea,
we can let you have our package.
116
00:07:50,555 --> 00:07:52,965
We can let you have the whole thing
on a royalty basis.
117
00:07:53,099 --> 00:07:56,689
We can show you how to turn it out.
We can show you how to save money.
118
00:07:56,811 --> 00:07:59,151
- And you think it'll sell?
- No question it'll sell.
119
00:07:59,272 --> 00:08:02,532
If we can get it in the office,
we can get it in the armed forces.
120
00:08:02,650 --> 00:08:04,570
Oh, boy, I'd like to do that.
121
00:08:04,694 --> 00:08:06,454
You'll do business with the US government.
122
00:08:06,571 --> 00:08:08,741
I'm not suited to this job.
123
00:08:08,865 --> 00:08:12,485
Where do I come off testing products?
Machines hate me.
124
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,908
I should be working at a job
that I have some kind of aptitude for.
125
00:08:16,038 --> 00:08:18,618
Like donating sperm
to an artificial insemination lab.
126
00:08:18,749 --> 00:08:20,839
Every day we gotta hear this.
127
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,840
Why did I quit college?
I could've been something today.
128
00:08:23,963 --> 00:08:26,303
So, what would you have been
if you had finished school?
129
00:08:26,424 --> 00:08:29,434
I don't know.
I was in the Black Studies programme.
130
00:08:29,552 --> 00:08:31,762
By now, I could've been black.
131
00:08:31,888 --> 00:08:35,428
- ...consistent loser at the table.
- That's my weakness. I lose a lot.
132
00:08:35,558 --> 00:08:38,938
- I don't know what I'm gonna do tonight.
- Get a date. We'll double.
133
00:08:39,061 --> 00:08:41,861
- OK, I'll call Barbara.
- All right, have her bring a friend.
134
00:08:41,981 --> 00:08:43,571
- Forget it.
- What's the matter?
135
00:08:43,691 --> 00:08:46,491
I had a date with a girl. She called it off.
There's a dock strike.
136
00:08:46,611 --> 00:08:49,451
Why don't you see what Norma's doing?
She's always ready for action.
137
00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:51,282
Who?
138
00:08:53,326 --> 00:08:55,906
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
139
00:09:12,261 --> 00:09:14,311
You, er... You busy tonight?
140
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:17,850
Some old friends are coming over.
141
00:09:18,768 --> 00:09:21,228
We're gonna show some pornographic movies.
142
00:09:23,648 --> 00:09:25,438
You need an usher?
143
00:09:25,566 --> 00:09:27,896
Aw... you're cute.
144
00:09:28,778 --> 00:09:29,988
I'm busy.
145
00:10:31,882 --> 00:10:35,092
Get a copy of Time magazine,
146
00:10:35,219 --> 00:10:40,139
and I think I'll take Commentary
and the Saturday Review.
147
00:10:40,266 --> 00:10:43,846
And, er... let's see, Newsweek.
148
00:10:44,603 --> 00:10:48,983
I'll just... grab one of these.
149
00:10:51,652 --> 00:10:53,362
Take 'em all.
150
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,867
Fifty, a dollar, dollar and a quarter...
151
00:10:55,990 --> 00:10:59,040
Hey, Ralph, how much is a copy of Orgasm?
152
00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:01,200
- Just put 'em in a bag, will you?
- What?
153
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:04,538
Orgasm. This man wants to buy a copy.
How much is it?
154
00:11:04,665 --> 00:11:07,205
Doing a sociological study on perversion.
155
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:10,174
I'm up to advanced child molesting.
156
00:13:12,126 --> 00:13:15,046
Come back. Back, back. More, more, more.
157
00:13:15,171 --> 00:13:16,961
Back, back, back.
158
00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:50,624
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
159
00:14:02,092 --> 00:14:05,052
Hi. I'm collecting names on a petition
160
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,769
to request the United States government
to break relations with San Marcos
161
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:11,941
which is being ruled
by a total military brutal dictatorship
162
00:14:12,061 --> 00:14:14,981
opposed to any concept of civil liberties.
Would you sign?
163
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:17,779
Sure.
164
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,860
- Oh, I'm sorry. I broke the point.
- Oh... Oh, that's OK.
165
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:24,407
Want to come in? I have a pencil.
And I'll give you another pencil.
166
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,531
Oh, good.
167
00:14:27,326 --> 00:14:28,326
Sorry.
168
00:14:28,452 --> 00:14:30,702
I don't know if you've been following it
in the newspapers,
169
00:14:30,829 --> 00:14:33,169
but soon there's gonna be a revolution
in San Marcos,
170
00:14:33,290 --> 00:14:36,420
and we feel that the United States
should give full support to the rebels
171
00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:40,213
and not the dictatorship, which,
as you know, has been our history.
172
00:14:42,967 --> 00:14:44,337
May I ask, what do you do?
173
00:14:44,468 --> 00:14:47,718
I'm a products tester
for a large corporation.
174
00:14:47,846 --> 00:14:50,926
I make sure products
are safe and practical.
175
00:14:51,058 --> 00:14:53,138
Today I tested an exercise machine
176
00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:56,979
and an electrically warmed
toilet seat for cold days.
177
00:14:57,106 --> 00:14:58,936
Would you like some coffee or something?
178
00:14:59,066 --> 00:15:02,486
If you're hungry, I could open
a can of ribs if you want.
179
00:15:02,611 --> 00:15:05,951
Ribs? I'd love some coffee,
but I have a lot of work to do.
180
00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:09,373
Here, I'll make you some. It'll take
two seconds to make some coffee.
181
00:15:09,493 --> 00:15:11,793
Let me ask you, how can I find out
more about your cause?
182
00:15:11,912 --> 00:15:13,502
'Cause I have a lot of spare time.
183
00:15:13,622 --> 00:15:17,002
Oh, would you like to volunteer
for the Volunteers for San Marcos?
184
00:15:17,918 --> 00:15:21,048
Is it possible to discuss that
over dinner tomorrow night?
185
00:15:21,171 --> 00:15:24,591
Doesn't have to be tomorrow night.
I'm wide open for the next six years.
186
00:15:24,717 --> 00:15:28,507
Oh, I have a yoga class tomorrow night
and I couldn't miss that.
187
00:15:28,637 --> 00:15:30,807
Yoga night? I love yoga.
188
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:35,271
Do you really?
Yoga - it's one of my great passions.
189
00:15:36,312 --> 00:15:38,692
I love Eastern philosophies.
190
00:15:38,814 --> 00:15:42,074
It's... metaphysical and redundant.
191
00:15:42,192 --> 00:15:44,952
- Yes.
- Abortively pedantic.
192
00:15:45,070 --> 00:15:47,320
- I know just what you mean.
- Thank you.
193
00:15:47,990 --> 00:15:49,830
Have you ever read the I Ching?
194
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:55,619
Not the actual Ching itself,
but I've dabbled in Kierkegaard.
195
00:15:55,748 --> 00:15:58,668
- Oh, well, of course he's Danish.
- Yes.
196
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,172
He'd be the first to admit that.
197
00:16:01,295 --> 00:16:02,795
Yeah...
198
00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:04,840
Yeah.
199
00:16:06,008 --> 00:16:09,088
You know, I was just saying to...
Have you ever been to Denmark?
200
00:16:10,763 --> 00:16:12,773
I've been to... Yes, to the Vatican.
201
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:15,810
The Vatican? The Vatican's in Rome.
202
00:16:15,934 --> 00:16:19,864
Well, they were doing so well in Rome
that they opened one in Denmark.
203
00:16:20,689 --> 00:16:22,269
(CHUCKLES) Oh...
204
00:16:22,399 --> 00:16:25,489
You know, I was just saying to someone
the other day that the Scandinavians
205
00:16:25,611 --> 00:16:29,071
seem to have such an instinctive feel
for the human condition.
206
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:33,038
That's very wise.
You know, that's... I think, pithy.
207
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:36,750
Oh, well... It was... pithy.
208
00:16:36,872 --> 00:16:39,882
It had... great pith.
209
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:42,544
Yeth. Pith.
210
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,799
Pith.
211
00:16:44,922 --> 00:16:46,922
Well, lithen, I have to...
212
00:16:47,049 --> 00:16:49,719
Listen, I have to go now.
I have a lot of work to do.
213
00:16:49,843 --> 00:16:51,973
I'd love to have coffee,
but I really don't have time.
214
00:16:52,096 --> 00:16:53,346
I have a lot of bells to ring,
215
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:55,852
- and I have an early class tomorrow.
- It'll just take a second.
216
00:16:55,974 --> 00:16:59,524
I know, but I have more bells to ring
and I have an early class tomorrow.
217
00:16:59,645 --> 00:17:02,105
- Really? You a student?
- Yeah. City College.
218
00:17:02,231 --> 00:17:04,691
Oh, that's a great school.
I ate in their cafeteria once.
219
00:17:04,817 --> 00:17:07,817
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, I got trichinosis.
220
00:17:07,945 --> 00:17:10,945
- I'm a philosophy major.
- That's a wonderful subject.
221
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:13,743
That's a wonderful thing.
What is the meaning of life and death?
222
00:17:13,867 --> 00:17:17,077
And why are we here and everything.
You like Chinese food?
223
00:17:17,204 --> 00:17:19,544
Oh, yeah. That sounds... Oh... when?
224
00:17:19,665 --> 00:17:21,955
Erm... the night after tomorrow?
225
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:26,554
That's... No, I can't. I have a meeting
of my women's liberation group.
226
00:17:27,256 --> 00:17:30,426
You're not... You don't have
hostility to the male sex?
227
00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:34,221
Oh, women's rights
do not automatically mean castration.
228
00:17:35,097 --> 00:17:37,847
Oh... don't say that word.
229
00:17:37,975 --> 00:17:40,635
Now I've got to walk around
like this for two days.
230
00:17:40,769 --> 00:17:43,979
Oh! Oh, I know. You know,
I'm that way on that word appendicitis.
231
00:17:44,106 --> 00:17:45,856
- Oh, I can't take that.
- But castration!
232
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:48,033
Castration, appendicitis. Either one.
233
00:17:48,152 --> 00:17:51,032
- No, there's a difference.
- No, there isn't.
234
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,242
What about Saturday?
235
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,906
Listen, why don't you take
my phone number here...
236
00:17:58,537 --> 00:18:00,537
...and call me on Sat... oh!
237
00:18:00,664 --> 00:18:04,044
Call me on Saturday. OK?
It's those two pieces right there.
238
00:18:04,168 --> 00:18:08,628
OK? Bye. I may be bombing
an office building, but I'll find out.
239
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:12,175
- OK. It was nice to meet you.
- Nice meeting you, too.
240
00:18:17,473 --> 00:18:20,233
Oh, wait. You forgot to sign my petition.
241
00:18:23,228 --> 00:18:24,688
Sorry.
242
00:18:24,813 --> 00:18:28,323
Ah, Nancy. You may call me Fielding.
243
00:18:28,442 --> 00:18:32,072
I think Mr Mellish is a little formal.
(CHUCKLES)
244
00:18:32,196 --> 00:18:34,276
Ah, the two of us together.
245
00:18:34,406 --> 00:18:37,736
Fielding from the Latin meaning
"strong" or "with strength".
246
00:18:37,868 --> 00:18:40,578
You'll come to lean on that strength
after a while
247
00:18:40,704 --> 00:18:42,714
and to know you can rely on me.
248
00:18:42,831 --> 00:18:45,501
I've always been a great champion
of the underdog.
249
00:18:45,626 --> 00:18:48,586
I think anyone
could tell you that, my pet.
250
00:18:48,712 --> 00:18:50,762
(CHUCKLES)
251
00:18:50,881 --> 00:18:54,931
See, Nancy, I've...
I've always been devoted to humanity.
252
00:18:55,052 --> 00:19:00,222
To a guy like me, the greatest crimes
are the crimes against human dignity.
253
00:19:00,349 --> 00:19:02,479
(THUD)
254
00:19:24,122 --> 00:19:26,382
How is it, Mellish?
Can you hear the music clearly?
255
00:19:26,500 --> 00:19:29,040
This should be
a great seller in California.
256
00:19:31,922 --> 00:19:34,632
(MUSIC OVER DIALOGUE)
257
00:19:34,758 --> 00:19:37,138
Listen, Mellish, you wanna
play poker tonight? We got room.
258
00:19:37,261 --> 00:19:39,681
- I can't. I got an appointment.
- What kind of appointment?
259
00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:41,885
- I'm gonna picket an embassy.
- What?
260
00:19:42,015 --> 00:19:43,885
All right, don't worry.
I know what I'm doing.
261
00:19:44,017 --> 00:19:46,807
(SHOUTING AND JEERING)
262
00:19:51,525 --> 00:19:54,025
(SIREN WAILING)
263
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:11,551
It's... It's a little light.
264
00:20:11,670 --> 00:20:13,800
I'll get the shade.
265
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:26,851
- Do you have any candles?
- No. Why?
266
00:20:26,977 --> 00:20:30,437
This light for the mood -
it's not right, right now.
267
00:20:35,736 --> 00:20:37,946
That's too light.
268
00:20:47,372 --> 00:20:49,462
- Is it warm in here?
- Warm?
269
00:20:49,583 --> 00:20:51,543
Warm.
270
00:20:58,842 --> 00:21:01,142
Where's the bathroom?
271
00:21:01,261 --> 00:21:03,811
- The bathroom?
- Right there.
272
00:21:10,020 --> 00:21:11,810
Shit!
273
00:21:21,657 --> 00:21:23,947
Leave a little air.
274
00:22:08,704 --> 00:22:10,504
I love you. I love you.
275
00:22:10,622 --> 00:22:13,252
Oh, say it in French.
Please say it in French.
276
00:22:13,375 --> 00:22:16,625
- I don't know French.
- Oh, please. Please.
277
00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,053
What about Hebrew?
278
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:24,472
I was... I was always very shy
when it came to girls. I...
279
00:22:24,594 --> 00:22:26,604
I remember when I was a little boy, I...
280
00:22:26,722 --> 00:22:30,562
I once stole a pornographic book
that was printed in Braille,
281
00:22:30,684 --> 00:22:33,854
and I used to rub the dirty parts.
282
00:22:34,396 --> 00:22:39,106
And I... I guess I had a good relationship
with my parents. I...
283
00:22:40,026 --> 00:22:41,316
They very rarely hit...
284
00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:45,235
I think they hit me once, actually,
in my whole childhood.
285
00:22:45,365 --> 00:22:50,285
They started beating me
on the 23rd December 1942
286
00:22:50,412 --> 00:22:54,672
and stopped beating me
in the late spring of '44.
287
00:22:54,791 --> 00:22:59,171
Erm... and I was a nervous child.
I was a bed-wetter.
288
00:22:59,296 --> 00:23:03,716
When I was younger,
I used to sleep with an electric blanket
289
00:23:03,842 --> 00:23:06,972
and I was constantly electrocuting myself.
290
00:23:07,512 --> 00:23:11,812
It's funny, I had this dream
that I've had since I was a child.
291
00:23:11,933 --> 00:23:14,393
I had it again one night last week.
292
00:23:14,519 --> 00:23:16,689
Where I'm...
293
00:23:16,813 --> 00:23:19,363
(# CHOIR CHANTING)
294
00:23:53,391 --> 00:23:55,731
(CHORAL MUSIC OVER DIALOGUE)
295
00:23:58,313 --> 00:24:01,233
(# SITAR PLAYING)
296
00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:08,742
(# PEOPLE CHANTING MANTRAS)
297
00:24:15,956 --> 00:24:19,076
I have to tell you something
and I don't know how to break it.
298
00:24:19,209 --> 00:24:21,549
- Oh, Fielding...
- Why? Is something the matter?
299
00:24:21,670 --> 00:24:23,800
Have you seen X-rays of me?
300
00:24:23,922 --> 00:24:25,672
(NANCY LAUGHS)
301
00:24:25,799 --> 00:24:28,589
- What?
- I saw X-rays of you.
302
00:24:30,428 --> 00:24:34,678
- I fail to see the humour of this.
- Oh, you didn't see the X-rays?
303
00:24:34,808 --> 00:24:37,268
- What? Tell me what's the matter.
- No, nothing.
304
00:24:37,394 --> 00:24:38,904
You know when your heart beats?
305
00:24:39,020 --> 00:24:40,810
- I know. I know.
- Well, my heart is beating.
306
00:24:40,939 --> 00:24:43,899
I just don't think we should
see each other anymore.
307
00:24:44,818 --> 00:24:47,198
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
308
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,110
- I'm sorry.
- Why? What's the matter?
309
00:24:49,781 --> 00:24:53,031
There's just something missing for me
and I don't know what.
310
00:24:53,159 --> 00:24:55,699
What do you mean?
Something missing from me?
311
00:24:55,829 --> 00:24:58,119
- Yes.
- What do you mean? Like what?
312
00:24:58,248 --> 00:25:00,248
Like... Like...
313
00:25:00,375 --> 00:25:02,415
Can you say what is missing from me?
314
00:25:02,544 --> 00:25:05,924
Well... no. Maybe if you could guess
a few things, I could try.
315
00:25:06,047 --> 00:25:08,217
- What do you mean? Can you tell me?
- Something missing.
316
00:25:08,341 --> 00:25:09,431
I don't know what it is.
317
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,851
- Is it personality or looks?
- Well, no.
318
00:25:12,971 --> 00:25:14,471
- Am I not smart enough?
- No.
319
00:25:14,598 --> 00:25:16,808
- Is that what you're saying?
- No.
320
00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:19,103
- You mean...
- It has nothing to do with height?
321
00:25:19,227 --> 00:25:21,477
No, it has nothing to do
with the fact that you're short,
322
00:25:21,605 --> 00:25:24,645
and it has nothing to do with the fact
that you're not bright enough.
323
00:25:24,774 --> 00:25:27,744
And it has nothing to do with the fact
that your teeth are in bad shape.
324
00:25:27,861 --> 00:25:31,321
So what, then? I don't understand.
Has it got to do with...
325
00:25:31,448 --> 00:25:34,908
It's not my personality.
Do you have fun when you're with me?
326
00:25:35,035 --> 00:25:37,745
No... But it's not that.
327
00:25:37,871 --> 00:25:40,041
I mean, it's not
that I don't have fun with you...
328
00:25:40,165 --> 00:25:44,205
We have fun when we laugh.
Don't tell me that we haven't laughed.
329
00:25:44,336 --> 00:25:48,466
- It's not that we haven't laughed.
- Certainly I laugh a lot.
330
00:25:48,590 --> 00:25:52,220
- Sometimes you don't laugh and...
- I can't put my finger on it.
331
00:25:52,344 --> 00:25:54,854
- Something's missing.
- Well, what's missing?
332
00:25:54,971 --> 00:25:57,351
- Can you be specific?
- The relationship isn't going anywhere.
333
00:25:57,474 --> 00:26:00,394
- Where do you want to it go?
- Where could we get it to go?
334
00:26:00,518 --> 00:26:03,268
Well, that's not...
I don't know where. I love you.
335
00:26:03,396 --> 00:26:06,016
I mean, I love you and you love me.
336
00:26:06,149 --> 00:26:08,779
No. And it's not because I don't love you.
337
00:26:08,902 --> 00:26:10,862
- Then you love me?
- No, I don't.
338
00:26:10,987 --> 00:26:13,407
- That's what I mean...
- But that's not the reason why.
339
00:26:13,531 --> 00:26:15,661
Just something is missing.
I need a very strong man.
340
00:26:15,784 --> 00:26:18,544
- It's communication, right? I'm strong!
- I need a leader.
341
00:26:18,662 --> 00:26:21,042
I'm a leader!
I have all the qualities of leadership.
342
00:26:21,164 --> 00:26:23,674
I'm interested
in so many vital political things.
343
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:27,712
- Me, too. That binds us together.
- I wanna work with pygmies in Africa.
344
00:26:27,837 --> 00:26:30,257
And I wanna work with lepers
on a leper colony.
345
00:26:30,382 --> 00:26:32,382
I'm willing to... No, it's perfectly OK.
346
00:26:32,509 --> 00:26:34,139
I love leprosy.
347
00:26:34,260 --> 00:26:36,600
If that's what you're asking me.
I'm perfectly willing to...
348
00:26:36,721 --> 00:26:41,391
I like leprosy. I like cholera.
I like all the major skin diseases.
349
00:26:41,518 --> 00:26:44,188
- You're immature, Fielding.
- How am I immature?
350
00:26:44,312 --> 00:26:46,732
Emotionally, sexually and intellectually.
351
00:26:46,856 --> 00:26:48,356
Yeah, but what other ways?
352
00:26:48,483 --> 00:26:50,403
Well, then maybe it's my fault.
353
00:26:50,527 --> 00:26:53,197
- Maybe I just can't give.
- What do you mean, you can't give?
354
00:26:53,321 --> 00:26:55,911
- Then why don't you receive, and I'll give.
- I'm not ready to receive.
355
00:26:56,032 --> 00:26:57,992
Then you give and I'll receive.
356
00:26:58,118 --> 00:26:59,578
I can't receive... Oh!
357
00:26:59,703 --> 00:27:02,623
Well, you see, I'm a person
who can only receive if another is giving.
358
00:27:02,747 --> 00:27:06,127
- Well, I can't give. I'm sorry.
- If we each receive, it might work.
359
00:27:06,251 --> 00:27:11,381
I can't receive. My trouble is I'm receiving
and I'm not able to give or to receive.
360
00:27:11,506 --> 00:27:13,506
But I would like to give
if you could receive.
361
00:27:13,633 --> 00:27:15,683
I can't receive.
I don't know how I can help you.
362
00:27:15,802 --> 00:27:18,182
- I really don't.
- See, if we both receive or both give...
363
00:27:18,304 --> 00:27:20,684
I told you,
I can't receive and I can't give.
364
00:27:20,807 --> 00:27:24,977
It's not going to work out.
It's no use, Fielding. I'm sorry.
365
00:27:25,103 --> 00:27:26,563
Goodbye.
366
00:27:26,688 --> 00:27:28,648
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
367
00:27:30,567 --> 00:27:33,987
Don't worry about me, sweetheart.
I'm like a cat.
368
00:27:34,112 --> 00:27:36,322
I'll always wind up on my feet.
369
00:27:36,448 --> 00:27:38,988
(SOBBING)
370
00:27:39,993 --> 00:27:43,833
Can you believe that?
She says I'm not leader enough for her.
371
00:27:43,955 --> 00:27:47,375
- Who's she looking for? Hitler?
- Women are very temperamental.
372
00:27:47,500 --> 00:27:51,340
We went everyplace together.
We did everything. We fell in love.
373
00:27:51,463 --> 00:27:55,093
- I fell in love. She just stood there.
- Did you have trouble with her in bed?
374
00:27:55,216 --> 00:27:56,676
Are you kidding?
375
00:27:56,801 --> 00:28:00,761
Do I look like the kind of guy
that would have trouble in bed?
376
00:28:00,889 --> 00:28:04,229
- I didn't. I didn't.
- Was that any reason to quit the job?
377
00:28:04,350 --> 00:28:08,860
I'm so depressed. I'd kill myself
if I thought that she would marry me.
378
00:28:08,980 --> 00:28:12,110
- What are you gonna do?
- I gotta get out of here.
379
00:28:12,233 --> 00:28:14,153
I'm going down to San Marcos.
380
00:28:14,277 --> 00:28:16,447
We were gonna go down there
together on a trip.
381
00:28:16,571 --> 00:28:18,241
We were gonna write a paper on it.
382
00:28:18,364 --> 00:28:20,664
She was gonna write it.
I was gonna type it.
383
00:28:20,784 --> 00:28:23,294
I gotta see what conditions
down there are like.
384
00:28:23,411 --> 00:28:25,961
Jesus. Life is so cruel.
385
00:28:27,123 --> 00:28:28,333
See what I mean?
386
00:28:31,503 --> 00:28:33,383
- Hi, Mum. Hi, Dad.
- Fielding.
387
00:28:33,505 --> 00:28:35,545
- I don't mean to disturb you.
- Sponge.
388
00:28:35,673 --> 00:28:39,593
I wanted to tell you that tomorrow
I'm gonna be going out of the country.
389
00:28:39,719 --> 00:28:43,219
What? Why are you going
out of the country now?
390
00:28:43,348 --> 00:28:47,188
- It's a very long story...
- Martin, Martin. A girl?
391
00:28:47,310 --> 00:28:51,190
- So what are you gonna do?
- I'm going down to South America.
392
00:28:51,314 --> 00:28:54,694
- To a country called San Marcos.
- I've never heard of it, dear.
393
00:28:54,818 --> 00:28:56,778
- Forceps.
- And...
394
00:28:56,903 --> 00:28:59,413
- Forceps, Ruth!
- Are they nice people there?
395
00:28:59,531 --> 00:29:02,951
Nice? Well, it's a turbulent situation,
396
00:29:03,076 --> 00:29:06,036
- and I've been following it for a while.
- Sure you've been following it.
397
00:29:06,162 --> 00:29:09,082
You should've stayed in school
and followed study.
398
00:29:09,207 --> 00:29:11,787
- I have a son myself...
- Will you stay out of this, please?
399
00:29:11,918 --> 00:29:13,128
Sorry.
400
00:29:13,253 --> 00:29:15,883
Ruth, don't talk to him about going away.
401
00:29:16,005 --> 00:29:18,375
Talk to him about going to college
to become a doctor.
402
00:29:18,508 --> 00:29:21,388
- Who will I leave this hospital to?
- Will you cool it, Martin?
403
00:29:21,511 --> 00:29:23,931
Don't get on his back. Let him alone.
404
00:29:24,055 --> 00:29:26,765
Dr Mellish, you should let him
have his own way.
405
00:29:26,891 --> 00:29:31,021
Ruth, we've been married 27 years.
406
00:29:31,146 --> 00:29:33,606
My name isn't Martin. It's Al.
407
00:29:33,731 --> 00:29:35,281
Al Mellish, remember?
408
00:29:35,400 --> 00:29:38,030
I wanted my son to be a great surgeon.
409
00:29:38,153 --> 00:29:40,363
- I have no aptitude...
- Yes, you do, son.
410
00:29:40,488 --> 00:29:44,698
Listen to me, son. You can do this.
You can be a fine surgeon.
411
00:29:44,826 --> 00:29:46,616
- Look, take over. Give me a clamp.
- No!
412
00:29:46,744 --> 00:29:49,044
- Fielding can't...
- Quickly, give me a clamp.
413
00:29:49,164 --> 00:29:51,504
Give me that. Here, take this, son.
414
00:29:51,624 --> 00:29:53,844
- Oh, Martin!
- Finish this operation for me.
415
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,880
No, I can't. It's ridiculous.
416
00:29:57,005 --> 00:30:00,675
- Why are you bossing Fielding?
- It's so ridiculous.
417
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:03,760
He might lose the patient.
You know Fielding.
418
00:30:03,887 --> 00:30:05,757
Sponge. Jesus.
419
00:30:05,889 --> 00:30:08,559
- I'll finish this one, but...
- That's better.
420
00:30:08,683 --> 00:30:10,893
- I didn't even wash.
- Right there.
421
00:30:11,019 --> 00:30:14,269
- I've got it in there.
- Now take the clamp and take it out.
422
00:30:14,397 --> 00:30:16,517
Should that be blue like that?
423
00:30:16,649 --> 00:30:18,029
- Where?
- Right there.
424
00:30:18,151 --> 00:30:21,031
- Fielding, go.
- Wait one second.
425
00:30:21,154 --> 00:30:25,124
- God bless you, but go.
- I'm doing my best. He's pressuring me.
426
00:30:25,241 --> 00:30:27,581
- Yes.
- Put your finger right there.
427
00:30:27,702 --> 00:30:30,792
- Fielding, get out of here.
- Your father doesn't give you...
428
00:30:30,914 --> 00:30:33,794
- Fielding, go!
- South America... tomorrow.
429
00:30:33,917 --> 00:30:35,627
God bless you.
430
00:30:36,461 --> 00:30:37,631
Go. Gesundheit.
431
00:30:37,754 --> 00:30:39,264
- I've got to go.
- You're really going?
432
00:30:39,380 --> 00:30:42,470
You're losing the patient
while we're talking.
433
00:30:42,592 --> 00:30:45,052
- Nurse.
- Listen to me.
434
00:30:45,178 --> 00:30:49,098
Incidentally, do you think you could
get me out of here by 7 o'clock tonight?
435
00:30:49,224 --> 00:30:50,564
I'm going to the theatre.
436
00:31:05,490 --> 00:31:10,040
And now, as is our annual custom,
437
00:31:10,161 --> 00:31:14,541
each citizen of San Marcos
will come up here
438
00:31:14,666 --> 00:31:20,376
and present His Excellency
with his weight in horse manure.
439
00:31:21,005 --> 00:31:23,375
Horse manure?
I thought they were diamonds.
440
00:31:23,508 --> 00:31:26,138
- We are an agrarian country.
- Yes, but...
441
00:31:26,261 --> 00:31:28,681
You will fertilise your personal crops.
442
00:31:28,805 --> 00:31:32,135
Sometimes food is more valuable than gold.
443
00:31:32,267 --> 00:31:34,597
(# THE YOMO TORO TRIO: "QUIERO LA NOCHE")
444
00:32:30,491 --> 00:32:33,291
We captured this rebel soldier
this morning, Excellency.
445
00:32:33,411 --> 00:32:37,171
Has he given us any information
about when they plan to strike?
446
00:32:37,290 --> 00:32:41,170
Not yet, but he will when our men
get through working him over.
447
00:32:41,294 --> 00:32:44,964
(# V. HERBERT/R. JOHNSON YOUNG:
"NAUGHTY MARIETTA")
448
00:32:45,089 --> 00:32:48,589
# Tramp, tramp, tramp,
the road is free... #
449
00:32:48,718 --> 00:32:53,218
We keep playing to him
the entire score of Naughty Marietta.
450
00:32:53,348 --> 00:32:56,558
- It will make him talk.
- Oh, please. No more.
451
00:32:56,684 --> 00:33:00,064
I can't stand operetta. Please.
452
00:33:00,188 --> 00:33:02,358
Talk, you fool,
and we'll stop the phonograph.
453
00:33:02,482 --> 00:33:06,362
I'll talk. I'll talk.
But please turn it off. Please.
454
00:33:07,195 --> 00:33:09,605
When is the revolution set for?
455
00:33:09,739 --> 00:33:11,869
The first week of July.
456
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:14,991
You're a liar.
That's only two months away.
457
00:33:15,119 --> 00:33:16,789
No... no.
458
00:33:16,913 --> 00:33:22,003
Esposito is timing it to coincide
with the American Fourth of July,
459
00:33:22,126 --> 00:33:25,876
so as to imitate his hero
George Washington.
460
00:33:26,005 --> 00:33:28,005
Where does he get enough weaponry?
461
00:33:28,132 --> 00:33:32,512
Esposito has a way of getting weapons,
but I do not know the plan.
462
00:33:32,637 --> 00:33:36,217
Time is getting short, but I have a plan.
463
00:33:39,811 --> 00:33:41,271
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
464
00:33:49,070 --> 00:33:51,360
His Excellency Emilio Molina Vargas
465
00:33:51,489 --> 00:33:54,529
requests the pleasure of your company
at dinner this evening.
466
00:33:54,659 --> 00:33:57,409
- What?
- Dinner at the palace, 8pm.
467
00:34:03,251 --> 00:34:05,461
Dinner with Vargas?
468
00:34:06,921 --> 00:34:08,551
Dinner with the president?
469
00:34:08,673 --> 00:34:10,053
(# HARP GLISSANDO)
470
00:34:10,174 --> 00:34:12,224
Dinner with the president.
471
00:34:13,386 --> 00:34:15,636
Dinner with the president.
472
00:34:15,763 --> 00:34:18,223
(# HARP CONTINUES PLAYING)
473
00:34:24,897 --> 00:34:27,357
Oh, excuse me, señor.
474
00:34:27,483 --> 00:34:31,403
I was trying to find
someplace for practice.
475
00:34:56,137 --> 00:34:57,347
Ah, Señor Fielding.
476
00:35:00,641 --> 00:35:03,481
This is Colonel Diaz...
and Lieutenant Arroyo.
477
00:35:04,437 --> 00:35:06,727
Señor Fielding, may I say
what a great pleasure it is
478
00:35:06,856 --> 00:35:09,276
to entertain an American intellectual?
479
00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:14,160
Somebody with whom I can exchange
contemporary political ideas and opinions.
480
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,280
- I brought you some cake.
- Oh, thank you very much.
481
00:35:20,036 --> 00:35:22,576
Oh, these are prunes. I like cherry.
482
00:35:22,705 --> 00:35:25,785
They don't make cherry on Tuesday.
483
00:35:25,917 --> 00:35:29,377
Señor Fielding, dinner is served.
Will you please?
484
00:35:56,864 --> 00:36:00,834
May be some poison in my food...
but I am OK.
485
00:36:00,952 --> 00:36:04,462
I have been poisoned so many times,
I have developed an immunity.
486
00:36:35,778 --> 00:36:38,108
You're not tense... are you?
487
00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:39,989
Tense? No.
488
00:36:53,087 --> 00:36:57,087
- Dinner was delicious.
- Thank you, sir. The check, sir.
489
00:36:58,259 --> 00:37:00,719
- Who had the roast beef?
- I had.
490
00:37:00,845 --> 00:37:02,135
That's 12.60...
491
00:37:02,263 --> 00:37:05,183
- Who had the corned beef and cabbage?
- That was mine.
492
00:37:05,308 --> 00:37:07,138
I don't understand something.
493
00:37:07,268 --> 00:37:10,478
There's two roast beefs on here.
What did you have?
494
00:37:10,605 --> 00:37:13,355
- Chilli con carne.
- Chilli con carne. There's two roast beefs.
495
00:37:13,482 --> 00:37:16,072
- There's an extra roast beef.
- I had only one roast beef.
496
00:37:16,193 --> 00:37:18,993
- There's one chilli, there's two roast...
- Who had the chilli?
497
00:37:19,113 --> 00:37:22,373
- I had the chilli.
- Are you on Diners Club?
498
00:37:22,491 --> 00:37:26,041
- You have Bank of America?
- Yes.
499
00:37:26,162 --> 00:37:27,832
- All right.
- Here you go.
500
00:37:27,955 --> 00:37:29,705
- Here.
- Thank you.
501
00:37:29,832 --> 00:37:32,502
Let's go to the salón for a brandy.
502
00:37:37,506 --> 00:37:40,586
Can you keep it down?
I'm getting a headache.
503
00:37:41,052 --> 00:37:46,102
And so I want to do only
what is right for my people.
504
00:37:47,141 --> 00:37:50,901
That is to protect them from communism.
505
00:37:51,020 --> 00:37:53,110
I am sure you understand that.
506
00:37:53,230 --> 00:37:55,360
Yes, but Esposito and his rebels
are not communists.
507
00:37:55,483 --> 00:37:59,243
- They are communists.
- Well, I think I know a bit about politics.
508
00:38:02,323 --> 00:38:04,703
I'll pick it up. Excuse me.
509
00:38:06,702 --> 00:38:09,332
If I give a better life to my people,
510
00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:12,955
I have to exterminate a few troublemakers.
511
00:38:14,669 --> 00:38:16,839
That's the price we pay.
512
00:38:16,962 --> 00:38:20,632
Yeah, look, I gotta be going.
It's... late for me.
513
00:38:20,758 --> 00:38:23,678
It has been a real pleasure
to have this little chat with you.
514
00:38:23,803 --> 00:38:24,803
Thank you.
515
00:38:26,013 --> 00:38:27,933
- Viva San Marcos.
- Viva.
516
00:38:28,057 --> 00:38:29,637
Viva.
517
00:38:39,902 --> 00:38:41,322
Excuse me.
518
00:38:47,243 --> 00:38:50,123
- He is perfect.
- I could kill him now.
519
00:38:51,205 --> 00:38:54,495
He brings cake for a group of people.
He doesn't even bring an assortment.
520
00:38:54,625 --> 00:38:56,495
You cannot forget that?
521
00:38:56,627 --> 00:39:01,167
No, no, we'll kill him as planned -
dressed as rebels.
522
00:39:01,298 --> 00:39:03,378
Then an outraged United States
523
00:39:03,509 --> 00:39:07,679
will see how bloodthirsty beasts
Esposito and his men are
524
00:39:07,805 --> 00:39:10,515
and we'll get all the support we need.
525
00:39:10,641 --> 00:39:12,811
When can our men get the rebel uniforms?
526
00:39:12,935 --> 00:39:14,645
I spoke with the tailor's.
527
00:39:14,770 --> 00:39:17,980
He's going on vacation, and then
he needs three days for the alterations.
528
00:39:18,107 --> 00:39:19,857
Too long. We'll get another tailor.
529
00:39:19,984 --> 00:39:21,654
But he does such nice work.
530
00:39:21,777 --> 00:39:23,947
Take a look at this jacket -
it was much too big.
531
00:39:24,071 --> 00:39:26,871
He took it in for me.
And he doesn't even charge much.
532
00:39:26,991 --> 00:39:29,451
No, no, no. We get another tailor.
533
00:39:29,577 --> 00:39:35,117
I want it to look like the rebels killed him
not later than tomorrow afternoon.
534
00:39:38,252 --> 00:39:41,262
- Here he comes.
- I don't feel good in these clothes.
535
00:39:41,380 --> 00:39:44,340
Nor do I. He made cuffs in my pants.
536
00:39:44,467 --> 00:39:47,637
- What kind of tailoring is this?
- He's not our regular man.
537
00:39:47,762 --> 00:39:49,642
Do the best you can.
538
00:40:33,265 --> 00:40:35,975
So long, suckers.
539
00:40:36,101 --> 00:40:38,601
(BIRDS SQUAWKING)
540
00:40:40,564 --> 00:40:44,994
Hey, wake up. Esposito wants to see you.
You all right? Hey, wake up.
541
00:40:45,110 --> 00:40:47,320
- Hey, you, wake up.
- Señor Fielding?
542
00:40:47,446 --> 00:40:49,736
Esposito wants to see you.
543
00:40:49,865 --> 00:40:51,985
Where am I?
544
00:40:52,117 --> 00:40:54,037
Please, no more Polish women.
545
00:40:54,161 --> 00:40:57,331
We are in the rebel camp with Esposito.
546
00:40:57,456 --> 00:41:00,166
Blood. That should be on the inside.
547
00:41:00,292 --> 00:41:04,002
- Esposito wants to see you. Come on.
- Esposito tried to kill me.
548
00:41:04,129 --> 00:41:07,879
It was Vargas that tried to kill you,
but in the uniforms of our people.
549
00:41:08,008 --> 00:41:10,388
So your government would blame Esposito.
550
00:41:10,511 --> 00:41:11,641
Come on. Come on.
551
00:41:40,875 --> 00:41:42,285
I'm Fielding Mellish.
552
00:41:42,418 --> 00:41:44,998
Vargas has told everyone
that you are dead.
553
00:41:45,129 --> 00:41:47,299
That we killed you.
554
00:41:47,423 --> 00:41:49,433
It is in all the newspapers.
555
00:41:49,550 --> 00:41:53,260
Yeah, well, I'm very much alive,
and I mean to lodge a formal complaint.
556
00:41:53,387 --> 00:41:54,507
A complaint?
557
00:41:54,638 --> 00:41:56,848
Yes, you cannot bash in the head
of an American citizen
558
00:41:56,974 --> 00:41:59,184
without written permission
from the State Department.
559
00:41:59,310 --> 00:42:03,230
Vargas cares very little
for diplomatic procedures, my friend.
560
00:42:03,355 --> 00:42:05,015
Yeah, we'll straighten him out.
561
00:42:05,149 --> 00:42:07,739
- I'm afraid you cannot leave here.
- What?
562
00:42:07,860 --> 00:42:11,450
He uses you to make
a big propaganda against us.
563
00:42:11,572 --> 00:42:15,912
The one thing he doesn't want is for you
to show up and tell the world the truth.
564
00:42:16,035 --> 00:42:20,745
So, what do you think will happen
if you show your face anyplace but here?
565
00:42:20,873 --> 00:42:24,043
He will cut your throat and bury you.
566
00:42:24,168 --> 00:42:25,958
Cut my throat?
567
00:42:26,754 --> 00:42:28,634
Do you realise what that will do
to my gargling?
568
00:42:28,756 --> 00:42:30,756
It is war, my friend.
569
00:42:31,550 --> 00:42:35,100
- Yeah, but I'm an American citizen.
- Sure. A dead one.
570
00:42:35,220 --> 00:42:37,350
Just how long will it be
before I can go back to New York?
571
00:42:37,473 --> 00:42:40,353
After we win the revolution, we are free.
572
00:42:40,476 --> 00:42:42,726
- And when is the revolution?
- Six months.
573
00:42:42,853 --> 00:42:45,863
Six months? I got a rented car.
574
00:42:45,981 --> 00:42:47,901
You have a chance to die for freedom.
575
00:42:48,692 --> 00:42:51,742
Yes, well, freedom is wonderful.
On the other hand, if you're dead,
576
00:42:51,862 --> 00:42:54,532
it's a tremendous drawback
to your sex life.
577
00:42:54,657 --> 00:42:57,367
- Are you such a snivelling dog?
- Depends what you mean by "such".
578
00:42:57,493 --> 00:42:59,703
I mean, I'm a good-sized snivelling dog.
579
00:43:01,330 --> 00:43:04,460
History sometimes chooses strange ways.
580
00:43:04,583 --> 00:43:06,843
Today you are fearful.
581
00:43:06,961 --> 00:43:10,511
Perhaps one day you will be a tiger.
582
00:43:10,631 --> 00:43:14,431
Don't hold your breath.
If you ever need a squirrel, call me.
583
00:43:15,594 --> 00:43:18,644
All right, men, let us sing
the song of the rebels.
584
00:43:20,015 --> 00:43:23,225
# Rebels are we, born to be free
585
00:43:23,352 --> 00:43:26,442
# Just like the fish in the sea #
586
00:43:39,201 --> 00:43:42,961
I'll have the grapefruit sections,
two poached eggs,
587
00:43:43,080 --> 00:43:45,830
cinnamon toast and regular coffee.
588
00:43:51,213 --> 00:43:52,883
Perfect.
589
00:43:57,428 --> 00:43:59,718
What the hell is this stuff anyhow?
590
00:43:59,847 --> 00:44:01,347
Lizard.
591
00:44:47,186 --> 00:44:51,266
Uno... dos. Uno... dos.
592
00:44:51,398 --> 00:44:55,188
Uno... dos. Uno... dos.
593
00:44:55,319 --> 00:44:57,279
Uno... dos.
594
00:45:15,506 --> 00:45:18,876
Camouflage can often save your life.
595
00:45:19,009 --> 00:45:21,799
It's essential that you learn the art.
596
00:45:46,078 --> 00:45:48,828
In the event of snakebite,
you make an incision,
597
00:45:48,956 --> 00:45:51,206
and you suck out the poison.
598
00:45:51,333 --> 00:45:54,503
Remember, you suck out the poison.
599
00:45:54,628 --> 00:45:56,758
- What do you do?
- Suck out the poison.
600
00:45:57,714 --> 00:45:59,724
Suck out the poison.
601
00:46:00,259 --> 00:46:01,389
Suck out the poison.
602
00:46:02,511 --> 00:46:07,391
I will not... I cannot suck anybody's leg
who I'm not engaged to.
603
00:46:23,448 --> 00:46:26,448
Snakebite! I got bitten by a snake!
604
00:46:26,577 --> 00:46:29,497
I got bitten by a snake! Help!
605
00:46:29,621 --> 00:46:30,831
Snakebite!
606
00:46:30,956 --> 00:46:32,786
Help! Help!
607
00:46:40,591 --> 00:46:43,641
Our food has run out.
We must make a raid on the town.
608
00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:45,180
It will be very risky.
609
00:46:45,304 --> 00:46:47,814
- You must not go. It is too dangerous.
- I do not mind the risk.
610
00:46:47,931 --> 00:46:51,101
Another will lead the raid.
Not our future president.
611
00:46:52,311 --> 00:46:54,811
- What about sending Fielding?
- Me?
612
00:46:54,938 --> 00:46:57,228
The men have a growing respect for you.
613
00:46:57,357 --> 00:47:00,567
- It is a chance to prove yourself.
- Oh, look, I don't wanna prove anything.
614
00:47:01,069 --> 00:47:02,649
You will fight a hero,
615
00:47:02,779 --> 00:47:04,909
and if necessary, you will die a hero.
616
00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:08,700
You'd better get some rest, Luis.
You're beginning to talk gibberish.
617
00:47:09,411 --> 00:47:11,041
This short straw will go.
618
00:47:19,338 --> 00:47:21,168
Well, as long as it was fair.
619
00:47:46,531 --> 00:47:48,951
- Yes?
- Coffee, please.
620
00:47:53,247 --> 00:47:56,287
- I also want something to go.
- Yes.
621
00:47:56,416 --> 00:47:58,786
Do you have any grilled cheese sandwiches?
622
00:47:58,919 --> 00:48:02,549
- Yes, sir.
- Well, let me have a thousand.
623
00:48:02,673 --> 00:48:05,093
And er...
624
00:48:05,217 --> 00:48:09,257
300 tuna fish... and 200 bacon,
lettuce and tomato sandwiches.
625
00:48:09,388 --> 00:48:12,848
- You want the cheese on rye?
- 490 on rye.
626
00:48:12,975 --> 00:48:18,475
Let me have 110 on whole-wheat...
and 300 on white bread.
627
00:48:18,605 --> 00:48:22,645
- Fernandez wanted on roll.
- And one on roll.
628
00:48:23,694 --> 00:48:25,204
And the tuna?
629
00:48:25,320 --> 00:48:26,530
All the tuna on whole-wheat,
630
00:48:26,655 --> 00:48:29,945
and all the bacon, lettuce and tomato,
let me have with toast.
631
00:48:30,492 --> 00:48:32,122
Right.
632
00:48:32,244 --> 00:48:34,754
And, er... what to drink?
633
00:48:35,414 --> 00:48:39,884
Er... let me have 700 regular coffees,
634
00:48:40,002 --> 00:48:43,212
500 cokes and 1,000 7-Ups.
635
00:48:43,338 --> 00:48:46,168
And also coleslaw for 900 men.
636
00:48:46,300 --> 00:48:47,970
Right.
637
00:48:48,093 --> 00:48:50,513
You want anything with these sandwiches?
638
00:48:51,179 --> 00:48:53,929
Er... mayonnaise on the side.
639
00:48:55,517 --> 00:48:57,517
Right.
640
00:49:09,698 --> 00:49:12,828
- Everything is ready, sir.
- Er... which one is the roll?
641
00:49:12,951 --> 00:49:14,581
I have it right here.
642
00:49:14,703 --> 00:49:16,503
OK. What about the coleslaw?
643
00:49:16,621 --> 00:49:18,251
It's coming, sir.
644
00:49:19,249 --> 00:49:21,249
A delante.
645
00:49:23,587 --> 00:49:25,627
Coleslaw, sir.
646
00:49:32,387 --> 00:49:34,427
That will be 24,000 pesos, sir.
647
00:49:34,556 --> 00:49:36,596
Get your money from Vargas.
We're the rebels.
648
00:49:36,725 --> 00:49:39,225
Let's go. Move this out. Come on.
649
00:51:43,977 --> 00:51:48,317
(# PYOTR ILYICH TCHAIKOVSKY:
"1812 OVERTURE IN E FLAT, OP. 49")
650
00:52:44,955 --> 00:52:48,375
While we carry out a diversionary raid,
651
00:52:48,500 --> 00:52:51,840
you three will kidnap
the British ambassador.
652
00:52:52,963 --> 00:52:57,433
He will be held until Vargas agrees
to free the sympathisers he has jailed.
653
00:52:57,551 --> 00:52:59,471
I will drive.
654
00:52:59,594 --> 00:53:01,304
You two will seize him,
655
00:53:01,429 --> 00:53:04,559
and you will inject him
with Sodium Pentothal.
656
00:53:04,683 --> 00:53:09,313
Now, once he's asleep,
there will be no trouble.
657
00:55:18,608 --> 00:55:21,278
Should they attack, our men are ready.
658
00:55:23,446 --> 00:55:26,026
They are too weak to defeat me.
659
00:55:26,157 --> 00:55:29,117
We have nothing to worry about them.
660
00:55:29,244 --> 00:55:32,464
We shall continue our policy
of harassment.
661
00:55:32,580 --> 00:55:37,540
Of course, if they're foolish enough
to try to overthrow,
662
00:55:37,669 --> 00:55:43,509
then I have made a deal
for reinforcements with the UJA.
663
00:55:44,592 --> 00:55:46,972
You mean the CIA, Excellency.
664
00:55:47,095 --> 00:55:49,925
The UJA is the United Jewish Appeal.
665
00:55:51,141 --> 00:55:53,601
The United Jewish Appeal?
666
00:55:54,811 --> 00:55:55,941
Uh-oh.
667
00:55:58,022 --> 00:56:00,192
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
668
00:56:13,371 --> 00:56:16,501
- Any word on where we're heading for?
- I hear it's San Marcos.
669
00:56:16,624 --> 00:56:18,464
Are we fighting for or against
the government?
670
00:56:18,585 --> 00:56:20,795
CIA's not taking any chances this time.
671
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:24,550
Some of us are for them and some of us
are gonna be against them.
672
00:56:24,674 --> 00:56:26,844
Viva San Marcos!
673
00:56:44,569 --> 00:56:46,949
Hello, hello? Miami?
674
00:56:47,071 --> 00:56:49,071
Fontainebleau Hotel?
675
00:56:49,199 --> 00:56:53,909
Listen, I want to make a reservation
for one single room. Yes.
676
00:57:00,794 --> 00:57:03,764
What are the... What are your prices?
677
00:57:03,880 --> 00:57:05,880
For a single room?
678
00:57:09,844 --> 00:57:11,894
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
679
00:57:34,494 --> 00:57:36,794
I can't believe it.
I'm finally going home.
680
00:57:36,913 --> 00:57:38,463
Well, you have earned it.
681
00:57:38,581 --> 00:57:41,131
Yeah. Well, I'm gonna miss everybody here.
682
00:57:41,251 --> 00:57:44,671
- Well, my friends, we have done it.
- You have.
683
00:57:44,796 --> 00:57:46,916
And you. All of us.
684
00:57:47,048 --> 00:57:51,638
At last this country can finally bask
in the sunshine of a true democracia.
685
00:57:51,761 --> 00:57:53,681
A land where no man is better
than the next
686
00:57:53,805 --> 00:57:57,425
and there's equal opportunity for all
and respect for law and order.
687
00:57:57,559 --> 00:57:59,479
Right now, I am the law.
688
00:57:59,602 --> 00:58:03,572
Yes, but soon we'll hold free elections,
let the people choose their own leaders
689
00:58:03,690 --> 00:58:09,030
and you can voluntarily step down
and return to your simple farming.
690
00:58:10,029 --> 00:58:11,819
What's the matter? You look glassy-eyed.
691
00:58:11,948 --> 00:58:16,448
These people are peasants.
They are too ignorant to vote.
692
00:58:16,578 --> 00:58:20,538
- I know, but they have common sense.
- I am the ruler of this country.
693
00:58:20,665 --> 00:58:23,035
There will be no elections
until I decree it.
694
00:58:31,551 --> 00:58:34,391
You're accused of killing
over 1,000 people in your term of office,
695
00:58:34,512 --> 00:58:37,352
of torturing hundreds
of women and children.
696
00:58:37,473 --> 00:58:41,903
- How did you plead?
- Guilty. With an explanation.
697
00:58:44,397 --> 00:58:48,277
Ready... aim... fire!
698
00:58:49,485 --> 00:58:52,775
Er... that's, er... 21. Where's 21?
699
00:59:00,538 --> 00:59:04,668
Ready... aim... fire!
700
00:59:11,883 --> 00:59:13,303
(CHEERING)
701
00:59:27,523 --> 00:59:29,733
Hear me.
702
00:59:29,859 --> 00:59:32,739
I am your new president.
703
00:59:33,905 --> 00:59:36,275
From this day on,
704
00:59:36,407 --> 00:59:40,747
the official language
of San Marcos will be Swedish.
705
00:59:40,870 --> 00:59:42,750
Silence.
706
00:59:43,790 --> 00:59:45,960
In addition to that,
707
00:59:46,084 --> 00:59:48,674
all citizens will be required
708
00:59:48,795 --> 00:59:51,415
to change their underwear
709
00:59:51,547 --> 00:59:53,627
every half hour.
710
00:59:54,592 --> 00:59:59,512
Underwear will be worn on the outside,
711
00:59:59,639 --> 01:00:01,519
so we can check.
712
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:07,900
Furthermore,
all children under 16 years old
713
01:00:08,898 --> 01:00:13,028
are now 16 years old.
714
01:00:13,778 --> 01:00:16,568
What's the Spanish word
for "straitjacket"?
715
01:00:16,698 --> 01:00:19,278
The power has driven him mad.
716
01:00:20,201 --> 01:00:22,541
We must have a new leader.
717
01:00:22,662 --> 01:00:26,872
Another must represent
the revolution immediately.
718
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:28,380
Yeah, but who?
719
01:00:28,501 --> 01:00:32,211
It must be someone
willing to put his life in peril
720
01:00:32,338 --> 01:00:35,218
and willing to carry on
721
01:00:35,341 --> 01:00:38,471
against all the terrible hazards
that await us.
722
01:00:38,594 --> 01:00:40,184
I know you're gonna find the guy.
723
01:00:40,304 --> 01:00:42,934
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I was due at my mother's house for dinner
724
01:00:43,057 --> 01:00:44,807
eight months ago.
725
01:00:44,934 --> 01:00:47,854
- Fine. I'm going home.
- No. The revolution will fail without you.
726
01:00:47,979 --> 01:00:50,439
- Why me?
- Because the men respect you.
727
01:00:50,565 --> 01:00:52,685
You always loved our cause.
728
01:00:52,817 --> 01:00:55,647
Besides, compared to these men,
you are educated.
729
01:00:55,778 --> 01:00:59,068
What is this with my education?
I had two days of college.
730
01:00:59,198 --> 01:01:03,038
I need three years and 363 days
to get a degree.
731
01:01:03,161 --> 01:01:06,211
This is a country of peasants.
At least you can read.
732
01:01:06,330 --> 01:01:09,920
I don't want to be president.
You're making a big mistake.
733
01:01:10,043 --> 01:01:13,843
You gotta be smart to be a president.
Let me be vice-president.
734
01:01:13,963 --> 01:01:15,633
That's a real idiot's job.
735
01:01:15,757 --> 01:01:18,587
You're looking at me
in a strange way, fellas.
736
01:01:18,718 --> 01:01:20,508
Look, I...
737
01:01:21,387 --> 01:01:23,847
I'm gonna be president, right?
738
01:01:23,973 --> 01:01:26,183
(FANFARE OVER DIALOGUE)
739
01:01:40,239 --> 01:01:43,159
The Americans won't recognise us,
'cause they think we're communists.
740
01:01:43,284 --> 01:01:46,584
The communists won't recognise us,
'cause they think we're American puppets.
741
01:01:46,704 --> 01:01:51,174
The one person who recognises us
was arrested on a morals charge.
742
01:01:51,292 --> 01:01:54,672
- We need money.
- What is the chief export of San Marcos?
743
01:01:54,796 --> 01:01:56,296
Dysentery.
744
01:01:56,422 --> 01:01:58,132
We grow bananas.
745
01:01:58,257 --> 01:02:01,217
Bananas, bananas.
746
01:02:01,344 --> 01:02:05,474
If I could only think of a way to convince
the United States to give us money.
747
01:02:06,474 --> 01:02:08,274
Get me Sanchez.
748
01:02:08,392 --> 01:02:09,812
I don't know, my friend,
749
01:02:09,936 --> 01:02:12,766
but without it, the revolution will fail.
750
01:02:12,897 --> 01:02:15,067
Thousands will have died in vain,
751
01:02:15,191 --> 01:02:18,241
and soon a new dictator will seize power.
752
01:02:18,361 --> 01:02:20,111
(TELEPHONE RINGS)
753
01:02:20,238 --> 01:02:21,238
Hello?
754
01:02:21,364 --> 01:02:22,784
- It's me.
- Oh, yes.
755
01:02:22,907 --> 01:02:25,327
I'm perturbed over the economic situation.
756
01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:28,291
You must go to the United States.
You must convince them.
757
01:02:28,412 --> 01:02:30,162
- They will listen to you.
- Me?
758
01:02:30,289 --> 01:02:31,959
You're the president of San Marcos.
759
01:02:32,083 --> 01:02:35,003
Yes, over here I'm president,
but over there I'm a college dropout.
760
01:02:35,128 --> 01:02:39,088
But they don't know.
After all, Señor Fielding Mellish is dead.
761
01:02:39,215 --> 01:02:41,835
I can't hear you.
I think we have a bad connection.
762
01:02:41,968 --> 01:02:44,598
Hang up. I will call you back.
763
01:02:47,598 --> 01:02:52,018
You know, I actually think that I probably
could go to the United States and fake it.
764
01:02:52,562 --> 01:02:54,692
I know you can do it, Fielding.
765
01:02:54,814 --> 01:02:56,904
I'll bet that I could.
766
01:03:07,243 --> 01:03:09,413
(# THE YOMO TORO TRIO: "QUIERO LA NOCHE")
767
01:03:15,001 --> 01:03:19,341
I am Mr Hernandez,
the official interpreter.
768
01:03:19,463 --> 01:03:23,053
- Welcome to the United States.
- Welcome to United States.
769
01:03:23,176 --> 01:03:25,256
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
770
01:03:25,386 --> 01:03:28,056
- Did you have a good flight?
- You have a good flight?
771
01:03:28,181 --> 01:03:31,391
- Yes, I did.
- Yes, I did.
772
01:03:31,517 --> 01:03:35,977
- We hope your stay in our country...
- We hope your stay in our country...
773
01:03:36,105 --> 01:03:38,725
- ...will be delightful.
- ...will be delightful.
774
01:03:38,858 --> 01:03:42,568
- I am looking forward to it...
- I am looking forward to it...
775
01:03:42,695 --> 01:03:46,565
- ...with great anticipation.
- ...with great anticipation.
776
01:04:08,596 --> 01:04:11,846
Get these people out of here.
777
01:04:11,974 --> 01:04:15,234
- Bill Simmons. This is Tom Sloan. FBI.
- Mr President.
778
01:04:15,353 --> 01:04:17,153
We're here to see
that your safety is ensured.
779
01:04:17,271 --> 01:04:19,441
We'll act as your shield
in the event of trouble.
780
01:04:19,565 --> 01:04:20,855
Look out!
781
01:04:22,735 --> 01:04:26,235
We missed him. We get most of them.
782
01:04:31,953 --> 01:04:35,123
What am I appearing
at a fundraising dinner for?
783
01:04:35,248 --> 01:04:37,628
I don't know the first thing
about public speaking.
784
01:04:37,750 --> 01:04:41,340
All you have to do is open up
with a joke, a funny story.
785
01:04:41,462 --> 01:04:44,842
Once you have them laughing,
then you hit them for money. Simple.
786
01:04:44,966 --> 01:04:48,386
Very simple. Open with a funny story,
and then hit 'em for money.
787
01:04:49,095 --> 01:04:51,305
I'm... I'm reminded tonight of the...
788
01:04:51,430 --> 01:04:54,480
of the farmer who had
789
01:04:54,600 --> 01:05:00,360
incestuous relations with both
his daughters simultaneously...
790
01:05:02,108 --> 01:05:04,938
It's the... It's... It's the...
791
01:05:05,069 --> 01:05:08,739
It's the... wrong crowd for this joke.
792
01:05:08,864 --> 01:05:10,164
Erm... (CLEARS THROAT)
793
01:05:10,283 --> 01:05:15,163
Although the United States
is a very rich country,
794
01:05:15,288 --> 01:05:18,618
and San Marcos is a very poor one,
795
01:05:18,749 --> 01:05:23,499
there are a great many things we have
to offer your country in return for aid.
796
01:05:24,380 --> 01:05:27,880
For instance, there... there are locusts.
797
01:05:28,009 --> 01:05:31,259
We... we have more locusts than...
798
01:05:31,387 --> 01:05:34,967
Locusts of all races and creeds...
799
01:05:35,099 --> 01:05:39,939
These locusts, incidentally,
are available at popular prices.
800
01:05:40,938 --> 01:05:44,898
So, by the way,
are most of the women of San Marcos.
801
01:05:45,943 --> 01:05:50,613
Now, then, despite
the tiny size of our nation,
802
01:05:50,740 --> 01:05:54,370
few people realise
that we lead the world in hernias.
803
01:05:54,493 --> 01:05:58,623
They also fail to realise that before
Columbus discovered your country,
804
01:05:58,748 --> 01:06:02,168
he stopped in San Marcos
and contracted a disease
805
01:06:02,293 --> 01:06:06,093
which can today be cured
with one shot of penicillin.
806
01:06:06,630 --> 01:06:08,010
It's the same person, all right.
807
01:06:08,132 --> 01:06:10,972
This whole thing smacks of conspiracy,
if you ask me.
808
01:06:11,093 --> 01:06:14,603
You realise what a communist missile
base in San Marcos would do to us?
809
01:06:14,722 --> 01:06:17,142
Plus he has a history of subversive acts,
810
01:06:17,266 --> 01:06:19,766
demonstrations, and peace marches.
811
01:06:19,894 --> 01:06:24,154
This man is attempting the overthrow
of the United States government.
812
01:06:24,273 --> 01:06:26,153
All right...
813
01:06:26,275 --> 01:06:29,525
Let's pick him up
and throw the book at him.
814
01:06:31,572 --> 01:06:35,662
We'll make an example of this... hepcat.
815
01:06:41,540 --> 01:06:45,800
Hi. I hope I'm not being pushy,
but I just have always wanted to meet you.
816
01:06:45,920 --> 01:06:51,630
I... I don't mean to bother you,
but I think that you are terrific.
817
01:06:51,759 --> 01:06:53,799
Really terrific, and, erm...
818
01:06:53,928 --> 01:06:57,218
me and my friends have
backed you from the very beginning
819
01:06:57,348 --> 01:06:59,138
of this career of yours.
820
01:06:59,266 --> 01:07:01,936
And I... We... I... I'm awestruck.
821
01:07:02,061 --> 01:07:04,111
I really don't know what to say.
822
01:07:04,230 --> 01:07:10,530
You know, it's very funny, but you
remind me of somebody that I once knew.
823
01:07:10,653 --> 01:07:15,993
A boy. He... He was really...
No, he was really nothing like you.
824
01:07:16,117 --> 01:07:20,197
I mean, you're terrific.
He was just this little stupid clown.
825
01:07:20,329 --> 01:07:23,919
You know, just... I don't know
why I even mentioned it, but...
826
01:07:24,041 --> 01:07:27,131
He was, er... He was, er...
827
01:07:27,253 --> 01:07:31,303
He was an idiot.
You know, a real idiot and, er...
828
01:07:32,299 --> 01:07:37,599
Would you... Would you mind
if I kissed you... once?
829
01:07:37,721 --> 01:07:41,101
Could I... kiss you once?
830
01:07:44,937 --> 01:07:49,977
NANCY: Oh, that was wonderful.
It was practically a religious experience.
831
01:07:50,109 --> 01:07:53,149
FIELDING: I have a confession to make.
NANCY: What, love?
832
01:07:54,989 --> 01:07:57,829
I'm Fielding Mellish.
833
01:07:57,950 --> 01:07:59,870
Oh, my God.
834
01:08:00,619 --> 01:08:02,869
I knew something was missing.
835
01:08:04,331 --> 01:08:06,671
Good evening.
I'm Roger Grimsby with the news at six.
836
01:08:06,792 --> 01:08:08,002
Today's top stories:
837
01:08:08,127 --> 01:08:11,257
The United States government
brings charges against Fielding Mellish
838
01:08:11,380 --> 01:08:13,090
as a subversive imposter.
839
01:08:13,215 --> 01:08:16,465
New York garbage men are striking
for a better class of garbage.
840
01:08:16,594 --> 01:08:19,934
And the National Rifle Association
declares death a good thing.
841
01:08:20,055 --> 01:08:22,845
Details on these
and other stories in a moment.
842
01:08:33,194 --> 01:08:35,454
Fielding Mellish,
the President of San Marcos,
843
01:08:35,571 --> 01:08:38,991
goes on trial tomorrow for fraud,
inciting to riot,
844
01:08:39,116 --> 01:08:40,986
conspiracy to overthrow the government
845
01:08:41,118 --> 01:08:43,828
and using the word "thighs"
in mixed company.
846
01:08:43,954 --> 01:08:48,464
Please rise. Court is now in session.
Judge Seymour Watson presiding.
847
01:08:48,584 --> 01:08:51,134
The People versus Fielding Mellish.
848
01:08:52,171 --> 01:08:54,971
I object, Your Honour.
This trial is a travesty.
849
01:08:55,090 --> 01:08:57,510
It's a travesty of a mockery
of a sham of a mockery
850
01:08:57,635 --> 01:08:59,845
of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham.
851
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:01,140
I move for a mistrial.
852
01:09:01,263 --> 01:09:03,643
Do you realise there's
not a single homosexual on that jury?
853
01:09:03,766 --> 01:09:05,266
JUDGE: Yes, there is.
854
01:09:05,392 --> 01:09:08,402
Oh, really? Which one?
Is it the big guy at the end?
855
01:09:09,063 --> 01:09:10,563
Call the first witness.
856
01:09:11,148 --> 01:09:14,898
- And you remember Fielding Mellish?
- He's got a record.
857
01:09:15,027 --> 01:09:18,357
He was always being picked up
at one demonstration or another.
858
01:09:18,489 --> 01:09:20,119
He's a bad apple, a commie.
859
01:09:20,241 --> 01:09:23,741
A New York Jewish intellectual
communist crackpot.
860
01:09:23,869 --> 01:09:27,039
I mean, I don't wanna cast no aspersions.
861
01:09:28,958 --> 01:09:30,038
Your witness.
862
01:09:30,167 --> 01:09:34,257
Officer Dowd, have you ever had
sexual relations with a girl
863
01:09:34,380 --> 01:09:36,840
with really big breasts?
864
01:09:36,966 --> 01:09:38,966
- Yes, sir. I did.
- Mm-hmm.
865
01:09:39,093 --> 01:09:42,813
- And how did you find it?
- Very erotic.
866
01:09:42,930 --> 01:09:45,720
I was... I was just checking.
867
01:09:47,977 --> 01:09:49,977
Do you swear to tell the truth,
the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
868
01:09:50,104 --> 01:09:52,024
I do.
869
01:09:53,190 --> 01:09:55,610
- Name?
- J. Edgar Hoover.
870
01:09:55,734 --> 01:09:56,744
Occupation?
871
01:09:56,860 --> 01:09:59,490
Head of the
Federal Bureau of Investigation.
872
01:09:59,613 --> 01:10:01,573
Tell the court
why you're dressed like this.
873
01:10:01,699 --> 01:10:05,909
I have many enemies and I rarely go out
unless I'm in disguise.
874
01:10:06,036 --> 01:10:08,706
Mr Hoover, in your opinion,
875
01:10:08,831 --> 01:10:13,381
is Fielding Mellish a threat
to the security of the United States?
876
01:10:13,502 --> 01:10:15,712
Enough to have his phone tapped.
877
01:10:15,838 --> 01:10:18,468
('PHONE RINGS')
878
01:10:20,092 --> 01:10:21,512
'Hello?'
879
01:10:21,635 --> 01:10:23,175
('HEAVY BREATHING')
880
01:10:23,304 --> 01:10:25,394
- 'Hello? Who is this?'
- ('HEAVY BREATHING CONTINUES')
881
01:10:26,348 --> 01:10:28,138
'Who is this?
882
01:10:29,226 --> 01:10:31,686
'Hello? Who is this?
883
01:10:31,812 --> 01:10:33,692
'Can you hold on one second?
884
01:10:33,814 --> 01:10:36,324
'Walter, it's for you.'
885
01:10:36,442 --> 01:10:38,612
All right, I did it!
886
01:10:38,736 --> 01:10:40,946
I did it! I'm guilty!
887
01:10:41,697 --> 01:10:43,947
But I couldn't take it anymore.
888
01:10:44,074 --> 01:10:46,584
She kept tormenting me.
889
01:10:46,702 --> 01:10:48,702
Egging me on.
890
01:10:48,829 --> 01:10:50,829
Making a fool of me!
891
01:10:54,251 --> 01:10:56,591
Isn't this Epstein vs. Epstein?
892
01:10:58,464 --> 01:11:00,424
I'm sorry, I...
893
01:11:00,549 --> 01:11:02,179
Sorry.
894
01:11:03,802 --> 01:11:07,312
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
but I've known Fielding Mellish for years,
895
01:11:07,431 --> 01:11:10,351
and he's a warm, wonderful human being.
896
01:11:10,476 --> 01:11:12,686
Would the clerk
read that statement back, please?
897
01:11:13,854 --> 01:11:15,944
"I've known Fielding Mellish for years,
898
01:11:16,065 --> 01:11:18,815
"and he is a rotten, conniving,
dishonest little rat."
899
01:11:18,942 --> 01:11:20,992
OK, I just wanted to make sure
you were getting it.
900
01:11:22,404 --> 01:11:24,704
You're out of order.
901
01:11:24,823 --> 01:11:28,333
- Name?
- Sharon Craig.
902
01:11:28,452 --> 01:11:31,712
- And you are?
- Miss America.
903
01:11:31,830 --> 01:11:36,340
# O mio babbino caro
904
01:11:36,960 --> 01:11:41,550
# Mi piace, è bello, bello
905
01:11:41,674 --> 01:11:46,554
# Vo'andare in Porta Rossa
906
01:11:46,679 --> 01:11:50,929
# A comperar l'anello
907
01:11:51,058 --> 01:11:55,848
# Sì, sì, ci voglio andare
908
01:11:55,979 --> 01:12:00,529
# E se l'amassi indarno #
909
01:12:00,651 --> 01:12:04,531
Tell the court why you think
he is a traitor to this country.
910
01:12:04,655 --> 01:12:07,865
I think Mr Mellish
is a traitor to this country
911
01:12:07,991 --> 01:12:11,371
because his views are different
from the views of the president
912
01:12:11,495 --> 01:12:13,035
and others of his kind.
913
01:12:13,163 --> 01:12:15,923
Differences of opinion
should be tolerated,
914
01:12:16,041 --> 01:12:18,211
but not when they're too different.
915
01:12:18,335 --> 01:12:21,255
Then he becomes a subversive mother.
916
01:12:22,715 --> 01:12:24,585
Call Fielding Mellish.
917
01:12:25,342 --> 01:12:28,932
Mr Mellish... what is your nationality?
918
01:12:31,932 --> 01:12:35,602
Well, you... you might say
I have two nationalities.
919
01:12:37,604 --> 01:12:39,824
Are you being coy?
920
01:12:41,650 --> 01:12:45,610
Well, I am an American citizen
and also the President of San Marcos.
921
01:12:47,781 --> 01:12:50,781
I would not joke with this court
if I were you.
922
01:12:52,828 --> 01:12:54,788
Wouldn't you or couldn't you?
923
01:12:54,913 --> 01:12:55,913
That's enough.
924
01:12:56,540 --> 01:12:59,330
Does the code name Sapphire
mean anything to you?
925
01:13:00,627 --> 01:13:02,877
It doesn't. I swear to God.
926
01:13:03,756 --> 01:13:07,676
You swear to God and yet you have
no compunction about teaching evolution.
927
01:13:07,801 --> 01:13:10,641
(FIELDING BREATHES HEAVILY)
928
01:13:13,223 --> 01:13:16,103
FIELDING: Where were you
on the night of June 23rd?
929
01:13:19,646 --> 01:13:23,316
If you cannot resist disrupting the court,
930
01:13:23,442 --> 01:13:26,072
I order the marshal to bind and gag you.
931
01:13:26,195 --> 01:13:28,315
PROSECUTOR:
And so you followed Fielding Mellish
932
01:13:28,447 --> 01:13:32,027
and overheard him make treasonous
remarks about this country?
933
01:13:32,159 --> 01:13:33,199
I did.
934
01:13:34,244 --> 01:13:35,454
Your witness.
935
01:13:40,793 --> 01:13:43,093
(INDISTINCT)
936
01:13:44,880 --> 01:13:46,090
Yes, I did.
937
01:13:46,632 --> 01:13:48,682
(INDISTINCT)
938
01:13:48,801 --> 01:13:51,891
No. I don't remember.
939
01:13:52,012 --> 01:13:55,222
(INDISTINCT)
940
01:13:55,349 --> 01:13:58,689
- No!
- (INDISTINCT)
941
01:13:59,394 --> 01:14:01,154
Don't put words in my mouth!
942
01:14:02,773 --> 01:14:04,273
Yes.
943
01:14:05,442 --> 01:14:09,072
Yes, it's true. I lied!
944
01:14:09,696 --> 01:14:13,696
Ladies and gentlemen,
you will retire for your verdict.
945
01:14:16,161 --> 01:14:18,751
Good evening. I'm Roger Grimsby
with the news at six.
946
01:14:18,872 --> 01:14:21,082
A verdict has been reached
in the Fielding Mellish case.
947
01:14:21,208 --> 01:14:23,498
I'll have details in one moment.
948
01:14:23,627 --> 01:14:26,877
(# ORGAN PLAYS)
949
01:14:41,937 --> 01:14:44,937
- Stick in your throat, son?
- These cigarettes, Father.
950
01:14:45,566 --> 01:14:48,146
- What brand are you smoking?
- These.
951
01:14:48,277 --> 01:14:51,447
- Well, those are for sinners.
- Oh?
952
01:14:51,572 --> 01:14:54,742
- Try these New Testament cigarettes.
- New Testament?
953
01:14:54,867 --> 01:14:56,827
They've got the revolutionary
incense filter.
954
01:14:56,952 --> 01:14:58,952
I'll try one.
955
01:15:03,584 --> 01:15:04,794
What do you think?
956
01:15:07,588 --> 01:15:09,718
Good flavour. Smooth, too.
957
01:15:10,966 --> 01:15:13,636
You stick to New Testament cigarettes,
and all is forgiven.
958
01:15:14,678 --> 01:15:16,098
Thank you, Father.
959
01:15:17,639 --> 01:15:19,769
New Testament cigarettes.
960
01:15:22,060 --> 01:15:24,100
I smoke 'em.
961
01:15:24,229 --> 01:15:25,809
He smokes 'em.
962
01:15:25,939 --> 01:15:28,149
(# ORGAN PLAYS)
963
01:15:33,322 --> 01:15:36,992
Fielding Mellish was found guilty
today on 12 counts of treason
964
01:15:37,117 --> 01:15:39,867
and was sentenced to 15 years in prison.
965
01:15:39,995 --> 01:15:42,615
The judge suspended the sentence
in return for the promise
966
01:15:42,748 --> 01:15:45,378
that Mellish will not
move into his neighbourhood.
967
01:15:45,500 --> 01:15:47,250
Nancy, now that this whole thing is over,
968
01:15:47,377 --> 01:15:50,337
do you think there is there any possibility
that maybe we could get married?
969
01:15:50,464 --> 01:15:52,174
Oh, I'd love to.
970
01:15:52,299 --> 01:15:53,299
- Would you?
- Yes.
971
01:15:53,425 --> 01:15:56,295
I mean, being in women's lib,
you'll need somebody to support you.
972
01:15:56,428 --> 01:15:59,558
- Fielding, do you love me?
- Of course I love you.
973
01:15:59,681 --> 01:16:02,641
No, but do you love me?
You know what I mean?
974
01:16:02,768 --> 01:16:05,438
Yes, I love you. I love you.
975
01:16:05,562 --> 01:16:08,942
Can you, like, define the meaning of love?
976
01:16:09,066 --> 01:16:11,486
What do you mean, "define"?
It's love. I love you.
977
01:16:11,610 --> 01:16:16,490
I want you in a way of cherishing
your totality and your otherness
978
01:16:16,615 --> 01:16:20,945
and in the sense of a presence and
a being and a whole coming and going
979
01:16:21,078 --> 01:16:25,038
in a room with grapefruit
and a love of a thing, of nature
980
01:16:25,165 --> 01:16:30,085
and a sense of not wanting or being
jealous of the thing a person possesses.
981
01:16:30,212 --> 01:16:31,762
Do you have any gum?
982
01:16:32,381 --> 01:16:36,721
Good evening. Wide World of Sports
is here in the Royal Manhattan Hotel
983
01:16:36,843 --> 01:16:40,853
for a live, on-the-spot telecast
of the Fielding Mellish honeymoon night.
984
01:16:41,890 --> 01:16:44,230
Mellish and his new bride
were married this morning
985
01:16:44,351 --> 01:16:47,061
in a civil ceremony in downtown Manhattan.
986
01:16:47,187 --> 01:16:50,687
The bride wore the traditional
virginal white, as did Mellish.
987
01:16:50,816 --> 01:16:52,476
Following that, they had dinner
988
01:16:52,609 --> 01:16:55,739
and are both now ready
for the consummation of their marriage.
989
01:16:55,862 --> 01:16:57,702
The turnout has been gigantic,
990
01:16:57,823 --> 01:17:01,333
and here for a play-by-play
description is Howard Cosell.
991
01:17:01,451 --> 01:17:03,701
Take it away, Howard.
992
01:17:08,959 --> 01:17:12,589
You join us with the action
just about to start.
993
01:17:12,713 --> 01:17:13,803
Yes, indeed.
994
01:17:13,922 --> 01:17:17,342
Here comes the bride,
and she's got a lot of fans here.
995
01:17:17,467 --> 01:17:21,137
They are tense, but they swell
to a tremendous cheer.
996
01:17:21,263 --> 01:17:25,683
And, as I think is apparent,
she is in very good physical condition.
997
01:17:25,809 --> 01:17:30,559
And here comes Mellish.
Listen to that crowd roar.
998
01:17:30,689 --> 01:17:36,399
He's wearing a green corduroy suit,
jogging and bobbing down the aisle,
999
01:17:36,528 --> 01:17:39,528
buttressed by his trainer
and his handlers.
1000
01:17:39,656 --> 01:17:41,236
- (BELL RINGS)
- The action has started.
1001
01:17:41,366 --> 01:17:45,576
They approach one another cautiously.
Nothing unique about that.
1002
01:17:45,704 --> 01:17:50,134
Now... Mellish begins to make
his moves and so does Nancy.
1003
01:17:50,250 --> 01:17:52,500
The two are working together closely,
1004
01:17:52,627 --> 01:17:54,707
the action growing more rigorous.
1005
01:17:54,838 --> 01:17:58,218
It is swift, rhythmic, coordinated.
1006
01:17:58,341 --> 01:18:01,931
What's that?
A cut over Mellish's right eye.
1007
01:18:02,054 --> 01:18:04,644
The doctor comes in to examine the cut.
1008
01:18:04,765 --> 01:18:06,635
No, it will not be stopped. It continues.
1009
01:18:06,767 --> 01:18:08,097
I tell you, ladies and gentlemen,
1010
01:18:08,226 --> 01:18:11,556
although you can see for yourselves,
I have never seen action like this.
1011
01:18:12,731 --> 01:18:14,861
That's it. It's over.
1012
01:18:14,983 --> 01:18:18,533
It's all over.
The marriage has been consummated.
1013
01:18:18,653 --> 01:18:23,123
Nancy and Fielding Mellish, in the most
real sense, are now man and wife,
1014
01:18:23,241 --> 01:18:27,831
and if it's humanly possible, I'm gonna
break through these fans to talk to the two.
1015
01:18:27,954 --> 01:18:30,374
Excuse me. Excuse me.
1016
01:18:30,499 --> 01:18:33,919
- Nancy, I know that this is very personal...
- Hello, Howard.
1017
01:18:34,044 --> 01:18:36,094
...but was it everything you expected?
1018
01:18:36,213 --> 01:18:40,683
Well, Howard, it all went by so fast.
I just had no idea that it'd be so quick.
1019
01:18:40,801 --> 01:18:43,601
Really, I was expecting a longer bout.
1020
01:18:43,720 --> 01:18:46,140
No difficulties of any kind?
1021
01:18:46,264 --> 01:18:50,604
Well, as you know,
I'm extraordinarily ticklish,
1022
01:18:50,727 --> 01:18:54,557
so I had a kind of rough time there.
I couldn't stop laughing, and I just...
1023
01:18:54,689 --> 01:18:57,069
You know, I thought
it'd really get in my way, but...
1024
01:18:57,192 --> 01:19:00,202
I really trained well for this
and I think it held me,
1025
01:19:00,320 --> 01:19:03,740
so there really wasn't any time
that I didn't feel in complete control.
1026
01:19:03,865 --> 01:19:06,905
How about you, Fielding?
I was concerned about that cut.
1027
01:19:07,035 --> 01:19:10,155
I thought they might stop the action.
Did you have that feeling?
1028
01:19:10,288 --> 01:19:13,328
Yes, Howard. I thought
that I'd have to finish it up quick,
1029
01:19:13,458 --> 01:19:15,788
'cause I thought the referee
might come in and stop it,
1030
01:19:15,919 --> 01:19:17,799
but I knew I was leading at that point,
1031
01:19:17,921 --> 01:19:22,131
and I was just hoping that they'd
let me go all the way and I did.
1032
01:19:22,259 --> 01:19:27,009
- No disappointments at all?
- Well, I had heard he'd be in great shape.
1033
01:19:27,139 --> 01:19:30,179
And I felt that he... he wasn't,
1034
01:19:30,308 --> 01:19:32,558
that he could use a little seasoning.
1035
01:19:32,686 --> 01:19:36,266
You know, the timing was a little off,
but I think he'll be fine.
1036
01:19:36,398 --> 01:19:40,358
I mean, he's not the worst I've had.
Not the best, but not the worst.
1037
01:19:40,485 --> 01:19:43,355
Are you offended
by what Nancy just said, Fielding?
1038
01:19:43,488 --> 01:19:46,448
I'm not offended, but I don't agree with that.
I was in great shape.
1039
01:19:46,575 --> 01:19:49,535
I thought I had her in real trouble
with the right hand up early,
1040
01:19:49,661 --> 01:19:52,621
and I was in good form -
my breathing was good.
1041
01:19:52,747 --> 01:19:56,627
I've been training very hard for this,
and I just gave a hundred per cent.
1042
01:19:56,751 --> 01:19:58,881
When do you anticipate your next bout?
1043
01:19:59,004 --> 01:20:02,424
I think we could probably
do this again in the late spring.
1044
01:20:03,425 --> 01:20:05,215
- Are you...
- In the late spring?
1045
01:20:05,343 --> 01:20:08,893
Well, I think I'll be ready
by the late spring...
1046
01:20:09,014 --> 01:20:11,274
- As long as the late spring?
- Yes, I am...
1047
01:20:11,391 --> 01:20:14,231
I think we should leave
the happy couple on that note.
1048
01:20:14,352 --> 01:20:17,562
It's hard to tell
what may happen in the future,
1049
01:20:17,689 --> 01:20:21,689
but they may live happily ever after.
Again, they may not.
1050
01:20:21,818 --> 01:20:26,698
Be assured of this, though.
Wherever the action is, we will be there
1051
01:20:26,823 --> 01:20:30,083
with ABC's Wide World of Sports
to cover it.
1052
01:20:30,202 --> 01:20:32,582
Now, on behalf of
Nancy and Fielding Mellish
1053
01:20:32,704 --> 01:20:35,124
and all of the others
who have made this possible,
1054
01:20:35,248 --> 01:20:38,208
this is Howard Cosell
thanking you for joining us
1055
01:20:38,335 --> 01:20:41,625
and wishing you
a most pleasant good night.
1056
01:20:51,181 --> 01:20:54,731
(# JAKE HOLMES:
"'CAUSE I BELIEVE IN LOVING")
1057
01:20:54,851 --> 01:20:59,111
# Some people take me for a fool
1058
01:21:01,399 --> 01:21:05,109
# 'Cause I believe in giving
1059
01:21:05,237 --> 01:21:09,697
# They seem to take me for a fool
1060
01:21:11,701 --> 01:21:15,461
# 'Cause I believe in sunshine
1061
01:21:15,580 --> 01:21:21,250
# And things I never learned in school
1062
01:21:21,378 --> 01:21:24,588
# Take me
1063
01:21:24,714 --> 01:21:28,184
# Take me
1064
01:21:28,301 --> 01:21:34,221
# And you'll make me
1065
01:21:35,475 --> 01:21:38,895
# So glad to be so foolish
1066
01:21:39,020 --> 01:21:44,360
# So take me for a fool #
87793
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.