All language subtitles for Yonderland.S03E04_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:18,320 --> 00:00:22,240 Oh, this is no way to live, hiding out in our own land. 2 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,920 I know. What if it rains? 3 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,840 -Think of my hair! -Think of your... 4 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:29,120 RUSTLING 5 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:30,720 -Did you see something? -Yes. 6 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,960 SCARY MUSIC QUICKENS 7 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:41,760 THEY YELL 8 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:44,560 Chill out, brothers, we've all got one. 9 00:00:44,600 --> 00:00:48,520 No, not that. We thought there was something the woods. 10 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,880 It must have just been our imaginations. 11 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:55,800 -Yes.Yes. -Just our imaginations. 12 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:05,000 Far, far ago, the ancients wrote upon the scrolls that dark forces 13 00:01:05,040 --> 00:01:09,360 would sweep our realm until only Yonderland remained. 14 00:01:09,400 --> 00:01:13,920 But they told also of a saviour, come from a distant world, 15 00:01:13,960 --> 00:01:16,440 to save us from the shadows. 16 00:01:16,480 --> 00:01:18,560 Thank goodness! 17 00:01:18,600 --> 00:01:22,200 But we can't stay here, Debbie, because of the wisp. 18 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,200 -The what? -The wisp. 19 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,280 -The half person. -The gasman. 20 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:28,600 -The 50-50. -The old gasman. 21 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:30,360 -Whoo! -Whoo-whoo! 22 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,920 -Oh, you mean a ghost! ALL: -What? 23 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:34,520 We all saw it, or heard it, 24 00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,120 or heard the others say they saw or heard it, so... 25 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:41,760 So it is decided - we shall return to Debbie's loft and stay there 26 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:43,840 for the foreseeable future. 27 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,240 No, it is not decided. 28 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:47,280 You are here to win back the trust of your people, 29 00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:49,240 to show that you're all in this together. 30 00:01:49,280 --> 00:01:51,840 Hiding in my loft is not going to send out the right message. 31 00:01:51,880 --> 00:01:54,080 But we prefer it in your loft. 32 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:56,960 Come on, guys, I'm stalling my move to Scotland to help you out, 33 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,800 the least you can do is meet me halfway. 34 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:01,240 Halfway to Scotland? In the Middlesboro? 35 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,440 No, I mean take a stand. 36 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:05,360 This place would be fine if you just make a bit of an effort. 37 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:09,040 Maybe she's right! Cut down some trees, make a roof. 38 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:10,840 Why don't you pick up an axe? 39 00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:12,760 -How?! -Well... 40 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:14,840 It's the twins' birthday, OK? I've really got to go. 41 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:16,240 So here's the plan - 42 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,600 we're going to show everyone we are still the good guys, 43 00:02:18,640 --> 00:02:19,960 no matter what Cuddly Dick says. 44 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,880 Elf, we need to find someone who needs our help, OK? 45 00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:25,000 So if you hear anything, come and get me. 46 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,080 -Right. -Now, come on, guys, hearts and minds. 47 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:29,840 Kidneys and legs. 48 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,360 What are you doing? I thought we were naming body parts. 49 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:37,160 CROWD MURMURS 50 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:38,920 Oh, here he comes, here he comes! 51 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,520 Could you hold my little one, Mr Dick? 52 00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:44,120 He has terrible lung cack. 53 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:45,160 But of course! 54 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,240 BABY CRIES -Crowd: -Aw! 55 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:50,040 He's cured now. 56 00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:53,280 Thank you so much for setting our land straight, Mr Dick. 57 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,120 It's the least I can do to put us back on track 58 00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:58,880 after the betrayal of the previous administration. 59 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:00,120 Terrible business. 60 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:05,000 Now, I want you all to consider yourselves well and truly cuddled. 61 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:06,760 Oh, thank you so much! 62 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,960 -Thank you! -All right. 63 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,560 You're my favourite! 64 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:16,440 He's a lot taller in real life. 65 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:18,360 Disgusting creatures. 66 00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:22,280 Yes, I know, but if we keep them cuddled, we keep them quiet. Shh. 67 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:26,200 Ah, my lord, we have some new volunteers 68 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:30,440 -for your research. -Good work. Did anyone see you volunteer them? 69 00:03:30,480 --> 00:03:32,160 Not a soul, mein lord. 70 00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:33,960 Excellent. Cuddle, cuddle. 71 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,600 Were you hoping for a firmer cuddle? 72 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,200 I've got the cake! 73 00:04:16,240 --> 00:04:19,240 -Ben, skateboard, again! -Sorry! 74 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:22,720 Right, clown's booked for one. Party bags are all done. 75 00:04:22,760 --> 00:04:25,600 -Whoa, whoa. -So... Did you just say clown? 76 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:27,160 Yeah, he did loans. He's amazing. 77 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:28,320 He does balloon animals, 78 00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,480 well, mainly snakes, which is cheating, but... 79 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:33,160 Pete, you know I'm scared of clowns, they freak me out. 80 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:35,240 I don't want one in the house. That's making me... 81 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:36,880 OK, OK, I forgot. 82 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,040 It's fine, I'll just cancel the clown and I'll book a magician. 83 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,000 Right, thank you. I love you. 84 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,200 WATER DRIPS 85 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,800 Oh, for the love of...! 86 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,200 I think that plumber did more harm than good. 87 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,280 That is very possible. It's the last thing we need. 88 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:53,080 We've got open house on Monday. 89 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,720 Well, we could just move it to the following week. 90 00:04:55,760 --> 00:04:57,720 -Or the one after. -No! 91 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,320 We've already delayed it once because of your... 92 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,080 very good idea to repaint the bedroom ceiling. 93 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:05,400 That was definitely a weird patch. 94 00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:07,720 Hm. Well, look, we can't delay it again. 95 00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:09,880 Otherwise, we're going to be renting in Glasgow 96 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:12,640 and trying to sell this place from 300 miles away. 97 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,720 -I know what you're thinking. -Do you? 98 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,960 You can't believe that this is going to be the last birthday in 99 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,760 this house. 100 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,000 Yeah. Yeah, that's it. 101 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:31,520 Well, then, all the more reason to make it the bestest birthday ever. 102 00:05:31,560 --> 00:05:33,360 Mm-hm. 103 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:36,360 Just not with a clown. 104 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:38,800 CELL DOORS CLANG 105 00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:41,360 HE MOANS 106 00:05:46,440 --> 00:05:50,080 -Um, Mr Big. -Huh? 107 00:05:50,120 --> 00:05:55,000 I was just wondering if I could have -a go on the bed. -I'm using it. 108 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,760 Not really, you're just using the pillow, so... 109 00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:02,200 What are you insinuating? 110 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:06,200 Oh, no, not insulating anything, I was just saying, 111 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:10,880 you're quite small so maybe you don't need the whole bed? 112 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:12,880 HE GRUMBLES MENACINGLY 113 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,840 Hit him, Tiny! 114 00:06:14,880 --> 00:06:16,320 Oh! 115 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:18,960 MR BIG LAUGHS 116 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,240 What are you in here for anyway? 117 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:26,240 Oh, well, I might ask you the same thing. 118 00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,440 Few murders, assault and battery, extortion, 119 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:31,400 a couple of bank robberies. 120 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:32,720 You? 121 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:36,600 Oh, nothing, just similar, really. He got caught doing some graffiti. 122 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,360 Where did you even...? 123 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,400 Guard, while you are here, there's been a bit of a mistake. 124 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,200 I have some friends in B wing, little red things, 125 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:46,880 perhaps I could get a transfer to there, please? 126 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:48,920 -Please. -This is a present, sunshine. 127 00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:50,880 No special treatment. 128 00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,680 Silk sheets and scented candles you wanted, boss? 129 00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:57,200 Handsome. Bring it over, then. 130 00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:01,600 Yes, Mr Big. 131 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:06,280 HE GRUMBLES 132 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:07,720 She'll never go for it. 133 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,320 But Debbie said, and I quote, "Find someone in need of help." 134 00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:12,920 Well, I'm in need of help. 135 00:07:12,960 --> 00:07:15,440 The publishers want the advance back for my book. 136 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:19,480 -Well, give it to them. -I can't, -I spent it all, didn't I? -On what? 137 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:20,640 You were there! 138 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:22,600 MUSIC PLAYS 139 00:07:26,560 --> 00:07:28,120 Oh, yeah, that. 140 00:07:28,160 --> 00:07:30,400 Now they're sending the debt collectors after me. 141 00:07:30,440 --> 00:07:33,760 And if I can't find the cash, -we are done for.We? -Yeah. 142 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:35,680 We're a team - brains and beauty. 143 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,760 I fail to see what you bring to the party. 144 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:39,960 Well... 145 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,560 Please, I beg, just give me more time! Oh. 146 00:07:42,600 --> 00:07:45,680 What do you think you're doing? You'll get yourself killed, 147 00:07:45,720 --> 00:07:47,280 you silly moo. 148 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:48,480 Aah! 149 00:07:50,200 --> 00:07:51,600 What the hell's going on? 150 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,720 Oh, it's getting worse by the minute. 151 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:56,520 They're using canon now, the scoundrels. 152 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:59,120 Someone has to do something, we need help! 153 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,200 Lady, this is your lucky day. 154 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,120 Save me a crispy one. 155 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,320 If anything, it's worse than before. 156 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:11,240 That was definitely something. 157 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,840 But Debbie told us there was nothing to be cared of. 158 00:08:13,880 --> 00:08:15,560 Well, she's not here, is she? 159 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,360 TWIGS SNAP 160 00:08:21,400 --> 00:08:23,040 HE PASSES GAS 161 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,240 That was me. 162 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,720 THEY GASP 163 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:30,760 Boo! 164 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:33,840 THEY SCREAM 165 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,720 Enjoy your meal. 166 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,040 -Ow, stop it! -I told you, Jeff, it's nothing personal. 167 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:44,080 In here, you've got to prove your tough. 168 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:45,920 -That's right. 169 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:48,560 -Ow! -What? 170 00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:54,480 What does a hard man have to do to get some chow around here? 171 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:55,640 You feel me? 172 00:08:58,400 --> 00:08:59,600 Demons! 173 00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:02,240 -ALL: -Hello, boss. 174 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,280 Boss? I think you'll find I'm the boss around here. 175 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,960 -Yeah, Neil. -Ow! 176 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,080 -Yeah, Jeff. -Ow! 177 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:11,160 Yeah... Oh. 178 00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:15,520 You don't mind if I take your lunch -too? -Actually, I do... 179 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:21,800 ..not mind at all. Here you are. Bon appetit. Bon appetit. 180 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:25,560 It's for Tiny, you see, he has quite the appetite. 181 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,680 Now, I hope you saved me something nice. 182 00:09:28,720 --> 00:09:31,360 Well, did you, Neil? 183 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,360 Well, did you, Jeff? 184 00:09:33,400 --> 00:09:35,800 Ow! Well... Oh. 185 00:09:37,600 --> 00:09:39,720 Whoa! 186 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:40,840 Oh. 187 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,920 Listen up, punks, Mr Big is dead. 188 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:53,560 That's right, there's a new boss in town. 189 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:06,480 Look, is this going to take long? 190 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:08,600 I've got 20 kids arriving any minute and Pete thinks 191 00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:09,640 I'm out buying candles. 192 00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,240 You said to get you if we found someone who needs help. 193 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:13,920 Oh, and you might want to... 194 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:15,320 What's it called? 195 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:17,160 Type of bird, also means get down. Duck? 196 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,400 SHE SCREAMS Get down! 197 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:22,000 Oh, my God, it's a war zone. Yes, very observant of you. 198 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:25,280 You said you wanted help, -well, here it is. -Oh. 199 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:29,440 No. We all know the truth about you, thank you very much. 200 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,720 What, from Cuddly Dick? That's propaganda. 201 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:33,920 Look, you're in the middle of a war zone, 202 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:36,040 I think you need all the help you can get. 203 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,160 OK, fine, just short, 204 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,960 controlled bursts and watch yourself on the recoil. 205 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,240 Come out, come out! 206 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:44,720 Ammo, ammo! 207 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,760 Down! 208 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,960 I thought you were the victims here? Oh, yeah, they are the bad guys. 209 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,800 Honestly, they fire indiscriminately with 210 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:55,760 no thought of the human cost. 211 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,640 Aaaah! 212 00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:02,560 Ha, ha, you missed me! 213 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:05,080 Your aim is about as good as your short crust pastry. 214 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,080 Oh, yeah? Well, eat this! 215 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:17,360 Sorry, what exactly are you -fighting over?Cakes. -Cakes? 216 00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,080 Yeah, they are kind of a baked good, sometimes with a nice topping. 217 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:21,840 I know what cakes are, thank you. 218 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,120 I mean, why would you go to war over them? 219 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,920 It's the annual cake bake here by the lake, 220 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:27,880 you have no idea of the care we take. 221 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:30,000 All year we plan the cakes we'll make. 222 00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,600 So it's a high-stakes cake bake. 223 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,880 Oh, for goodness' sake. 224 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,840 Look, this is silly. Can't you resolve this peacefully? 225 00:11:36,880 --> 00:11:39,160 I mean, cakes aren't exactly worth dying for. 226 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:42,120 Clearly, you've never tasted my black forest gateau. 227 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:44,480 Look, that's it. Cease fire. Cease fire. 228 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,200 Look, I just want to talk. OK? 229 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:49,480 Right, now, how did this start? 230 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:51,400 Well, the judges were late. 231 00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,080 Late? They still haven't turned up. 232 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,280 And they made us leave our cakes out all night. 233 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,720 And some trollop stole my petal sponge, 234 00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,320 and they knew it was best in show. 235 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,920 OK, well, let's not use...oh, don't flatter yourself, I'd have 236 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:05,160 won hands down if someone hadn't fingered my figgy madeleine. 237 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:09,040 OK, well, look... And one of you donkeys flattened my mille feuille. 238 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:12,440 If I find out who it was, I'm going to fix bayonets, 239 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,480 I'm going to come down there and I'm going to... 240 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,920 Oh, shut up, Sue! 241 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,840 Everybody knows that my dog can pipe out better icing than you. 242 00:12:18,880 --> 00:12:22,800 Oh, seriously, come on... Right. -Wheel out the canon. -No, no, no. 243 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:24,240 Wait, wait! 244 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:29,440 Call for backup? 245 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,680 KNOCK ON DOOR 246 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,360 Oh, a thousand apologies, my lord. 247 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:41,520 So, how can I help you? 248 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:44,040 It's Debbie of Maddox, my lord. 249 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:46,400 One of our spies has seen her. 250 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,800 -She's in Yonderland. -Oh, I see. 251 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:50,240 What was she doing? 252 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,080 She's trying to help some ladies resolve a dispute 253 00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,000 about some baked goods was Mac HE SNICKERS 254 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:57,840 They don't even want her help. 255 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,080 Oh, how the mighty have fallen! 256 00:13:01,120 --> 00:13:04,360 THEY LAUGH 257 00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:06,440 Get out. 258 00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,920 My lord. 259 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,920 KIDS CHATTERING, MUSIC 260 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,880 Not too fast, please. 261 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,360 DOORBELL RINGS Right. OK, OK. Keep doing it. 262 00:13:17,400 --> 00:13:20,360 Keep going. Go round. Let the magic begin! 263 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,160 OK. Right. 264 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:28,960 All right, where's the birthday girl? 265 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:33,280 -Um... Problem? -Sorry, mate, you're not what I was expecting. 266 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:35,160 -I've still got my trousers on. -No. 267 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:37,960 From the ad, I thought I was booking a magician, Magic Mike. 268 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:41,200 No. No, no. Magic Mike, like the film, Sexy Strippers. 269 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,640 Have you seen it? 270 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,920 -Have you seen it? -Aye. 271 00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:47,320 Look, can you do any magic at all? 272 00:13:47,360 --> 00:13:50,280 I do a thing called the Elephant where I pull my pockets out... 273 00:13:50,320 --> 00:13:53,040 I think we'll leave it there. Thanks for coming. 274 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:00,000 ELDERS TALK OVER EACH OTHER 275 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:02,040 We all saw it, it was terrifying! Awful! 276 00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,160 Yes, but putting the wisp aside for just a... 277 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:07,120 But it came right up to us, -right into my grill. -Right. 278 00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:10,760 It's just that there is this local war and I need to go home, so... 279 00:14:10,800 --> 00:14:13,920 I'll show you what it looked like. Forget about the wisp. 280 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,400 This cake war is a real thing that you can actually do 281 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,920 something about, like speak to both sides, broker a truce. 282 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:22,000 -Arms and brains. -Hearts and minds. 283 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:24,560 How can we focus on this cake issue when there's 284 00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:26,680 a malicious wisp on the prowl?! 285 00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,960 I don't know what it is that you think you're seeing, 286 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,840 but I can assure you there's absolutely no reason to be... 287 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:37,080 CLOWN MUSIC PLAYS EERILY 288 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:39,720 Debbie? 289 00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:42,840 Are you sure it looked like this? Yes. 290 00:14:42,880 --> 00:14:45,960 OK, well, there's nothing to be scared of. 291 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,480 The next time that you see... 292 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:51,920 it, you just ask it nicely what it wants. 293 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:56,200 Now, I am very calmly going to leave you all to it. 294 00:14:57,480 --> 00:14:58,720 Boo. 295 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,760 ALL SCREAM 296 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,480 You said there was nothing to be -scared of. -I know I did. 297 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:06,560 You said we should just... I know what I said. Thank you. 298 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:09,480 Hi. 299 00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:13,720 -I'm Debbie. -Boo. 300 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,560 My name is Boo. 301 00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,800 OK. 302 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:21,800 WHISPERS SCARILY: Will you be my friend? 303 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:26,400 GANGSTER HIPHOP PLAYS 304 00:15:40,080 --> 00:15:42,320 Whoa! 305 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,680 CELL DOOR BUZZES 306 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:49,200 Oh, Falsberg, probably the -best beer in Yonderland. -Probably. 307 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:54,160 -And a pipe. -Oh. Love a pipe to chow down on. Mm! 308 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,120 How did you get this in here? Smuggled inside a prisoner. 309 00:15:57,160 --> 00:15:58,480 HE CHUCKLES 310 00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:02,040 I think you mean smuggled inside BY a prisoner. 311 00:16:02,080 --> 00:16:03,400 No. 312 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:06,000 And I've given up smoking. 313 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,240 -Any news from the floor? -Yeah. 314 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,520 Apparently, Tiny's not happy with his new cell. 315 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,000 HE MOANS 316 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:15,480 And he says you're a coward. Ha! Course I'm not. 317 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:18,160 Says he wants a fight you in the yard this afternoon. 318 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:19,880 You better shut him up. Otherwise, 319 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,440 the other cons are going to start questioning your authority. 320 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:24,320 It sounds like there's only one thing for it. 321 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:26,000 You three better take him down. 322 00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,480 -DEMONS: -Huh? Show him how tough I am. 323 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:31,200 Oh, that's the other thing. You've been released. 324 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,680 Yes! 325 00:16:32,720 --> 00:16:34,200 Not you. Those three. 326 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,320 -DEMONS:Yes! -What? Why? 327 00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:40,320 -Good behaviour. -That's ridiculous. One of them killed a man. 328 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:42,200 Not according to the evidence. 329 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:46,160 'Listen up, punks, Mr Big is dead. 330 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:50,680 'That's right, there's a new boss in town. 331 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:53,640 'Me, because I killed him.' 332 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:55,440 Quite ambiguous, really. 333 00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,680 'Just now, with this. 334 00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,200 'Just me, on my own, solo, unaided.' 335 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,840 OK, I can see how that might look, but... 336 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,560 'The killer, just to spell it out, is Negatus. 337 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:11,680 'N-E-G-A-T-U-S. 338 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,280 'Is anyone not clear who killed him?' 339 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:16,880 HE SIGHS 340 00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:19,360 Can't they just stay until after yard time? 341 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:20,880 No. 342 00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:23,440 So, you see, it's a hereditary thing. 343 00:17:23,480 --> 00:17:27,520 My parents were the same, white as a wisp. 344 00:17:27,560 --> 00:17:31,000 And then I started to notice it made people kind of scared, 345 00:17:31,040 --> 00:17:33,320 so I tried to make myself look more friendly. 346 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,480 I painted on a smile, died my hair a fun colour, 347 00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,560 started in with the music and wearing colourful pom-poms 348 00:17:39,600 --> 00:17:42,920 and whatnot, but I don't know, it just seemed to make things worse. 349 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:44,440 NOSE TOOTS 350 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,440 Oh, that's just my deviated septum. It does that when you touch it. 351 00:17:48,480 --> 00:17:51,040 NOSE TOOTS, THEY LAUGH 352 00:17:51,080 --> 00:17:53,040 -Give us a go? -Well, sure. 353 00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:54,920 NOSE TOOTS 354 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,800 THEY LAUGH 355 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,360 What about the ridiculous shoes? I've just got big feet. 356 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,360 Sorry. HE WHISPERS 357 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,200 Um, well, look, now that you know he's not a gasman, 358 00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,840 can I please get to the party? 359 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:12,120 Yes. And we will go and see if we -can start this war. -STOP the war. 360 00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,760 Oh, lucky I checked! 361 00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,040 Write that down."Stop war." 362 00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,520 What ever would we do without you, Debbie? 363 00:18:19,840 --> 00:18:21,200 I honestly don't know. 364 00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,160 Could you bring me back some food? 365 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,760 I'm awful sorry to ask, but the last time I ate was 366 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,440 a couple of days ago, and that was just a teeny tiny bit of cake. 367 00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:31,040 -Cake? -Mm-hm. 368 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,080 -And who gave that to you? -Nobody. 369 00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,440 It was just kind of out on display. 370 00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:41,680 What? 371 00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:08,680 -Hi. -Are you hiding from me? 372 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:12,560 Actually, I was just looking for you, I couldn't see you anywhere. 373 00:19:12,600 --> 00:19:14,120 I'm 8'11". 374 00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:18,400 Well, I can only really see personality, so... 375 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:19,680 Are you ready to roll? 376 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,560 Actually, I've got this recurrent medical issues with my knee. 377 00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:27,240 Well, that's OK, I'm only going to hit your face. 378 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,760 That's very decent of you. 379 00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,280 Well, go on, then, ask him. Just ask him. 380 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:33,840 So, it was you? 381 00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:35,160 Stole my petal sponge? 382 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:40,360 Yes, ma'am, sorry, ma'am. And you mauled my madeleine? 383 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:42,440 Yes, ma'am, but just a teeny, tiny piece. 384 00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:45,280 OK, well, you see, I'm glad that we got that sorted. 385 00:19:45,320 --> 00:19:48,400 And it were you, flattened me mille feuille? 386 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,080 Oh, actually, no, that was me. 387 00:19:50,120 --> 00:19:53,520 But only because Edith said -you'd gobbed on my Queen Anne. -What? 388 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,640 Oh, get over yourself. All right, now, ladies... 389 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:56,800 Here we go again! 390 00:19:56,840 --> 00:20:00,640 I will put you both in a mixer and -turn you into Kool-Aid. -Ladies! 391 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,360 Can't you see? 392 00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:06,760 How easily we've all been reduced to petty feuding, ready to kill each 393 00:20:06,800 --> 00:20:11,400 other over who did what to whose delicious buns and cakes and pies? 394 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:14,440 Deborah, we owe you an apology. 395 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:16,840 You truly are the Chosen One. 396 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:20,520 You've shown us how futile and disruptive it is when we turn 397 00:20:20,560 --> 00:20:22,040 against each other. 398 00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,040 Well, I am glad that you have seen the error of your ways. 399 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,760 When it was him all along! 400 00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:29,880 -Get him! -Wait! 401 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:34,640 CHILDREN GASP 402 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:37,320 Oh, hello, children. I was just... 403 00:20:37,360 --> 00:20:39,960 THEY LAUGH 404 00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:43,400 I'm sorry, I... 405 00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:45,960 THEY LAUGH 406 00:20:51,320 --> 00:20:55,000 What I wanted to say was, please don't... 407 00:20:55,040 --> 00:20:57,480 THEY LAUGH I am the great... 408 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,680 Oh. 409 00:21:05,400 --> 00:21:06,720 Sorry. 410 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,320 THEY LAUGH 411 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:14,600 BLENDER WHIRS 412 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:21,840 CHILDREN GASP 413 00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,280 I'm sorry. I'll leave now. 414 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:31,120 Ah! 415 00:21:43,720 --> 00:21:45,640 NOSE TOOTS 416 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,440 Brilliant! Where did you find him? 417 00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:51,240 I thought you only went out for candles. 418 00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:54,160 Well, I have connections. Oh, and candles. 419 00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:58,960 Seriously, well done for facing -your fears. -Well, well done you. 420 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,480 This is a great party. 421 00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,240 SHE SOBS 422 00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:11,720 There's always one. 423 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,240 Subtitles by Ericsson 424 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,280 accessiblecustomerservice@sky.uk 31691

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.