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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:04,347 PREVIOUSLY ON... 2 00:00:04,371 --> 00:00:06,148 I WAS JUST THINKING... I'M LEAVING... 3 00:00:06,172 --> 00:00:08,752 DO YOU WANT TO SPLIT A CAB? 4 00:00:08,776 --> 00:00:11,621 ACTUALLY, I THOUGHT I'D TAKE A WALK. 5 00:00:11,645 --> 00:00:14,157 O.K. DO YOU WANT TO SPLIT A WALK? 6 00:00:14,181 --> 00:00:15,558 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 7 00:00:15,582 --> 00:00:16,993 I DON'T KNOW. 8 00:00:17,017 --> 00:00:19,329 I REALLY WANTED TO GO WITH HER. 9 00:00:19,353 --> 00:00:21,920 JAMIE AND I AREN'T DOING SO GREAT RIGHT NOW. 10 00:00:28,194 --> 00:00:29,839 WE HAVE TO TALK. 11 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:32,242 WE TOOK A WALK AROUND THE BLOCK. 12 00:00:32,266 --> 00:00:36,413 SHE GOT INTO A CAB, AND I CAME HOME. 13 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:38,181 BUT IT WASN'T JUST A WALK. 14 00:00:38,205 --> 00:00:40,484 I KISSED DOUG BERKUS. 15 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:43,286 I GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE. 16 00:00:43,310 --> 00:00:44,854 WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 17 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:45,955 I DON'T KNOW. 18 00:00:45,979 --> 00:00:47,790 ARE YOU COMING BACK? I DON'T KNOW. 19 00:00:47,814 --> 00:00:49,159 SHOULDN'T WE TALK ABOUT THIS? 20 00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:52,562 NO. I CAN'T TALK ABOUT THIS NOW. I CAN'T... TALK. 21 00:00:52,586 --> 00:00:54,064 O.K., WAIT, JUST WAIT. 22 00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:56,532 WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN NOW? WHAT HAPPENS NOW? 23 00:00:56,556 --> 00:00:58,876 I DON'T KNOW, I DON'T KNOW. 24 00:00:59,860 --> 00:01:00,900 I'M... I'M... 25 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:03,789 I DON'T KNOW. 26 00:01:14,275 --> 00:01:16,253 [WOMAN] OHH! [KNOCK ON DOOR] 27 00:01:16,277 --> 00:01:17,320 OH, NO. 28 00:01:17,344 --> 00:01:18,621 [IRA] WHO IS IT? 29 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:20,824 [PAUL] IT'S ME, SPLINKY. OPEN UP. 30 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:24,361 PAULIE, YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS? 31 00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,851 IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO OPEN THE DOOR. 32 00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:30,133 COME ON. 33 00:01:30,157 --> 00:01:31,468 WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING IN THERE? 34 00:01:31,492 --> 00:01:33,492 NOTHING. WHAT THE HELL IS THE MATTER WITH YOU? 35 00:01:36,630 --> 00:01:37,507 OH, NO. 36 00:01:37,531 --> 00:01:38,541 YEP. 37 00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:40,243 PAULIE, I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL HER. 38 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:42,412 I DIDN'T LISTEN TO YOU, AND... 39 00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:45,848 I DIDN'T ACTUALLY TELL HER. I TRIED. 40 00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:47,350 BEFORE I COULD TELL HER, 41 00:01:47,374 --> 00:01:50,587 SHE TELLS ME SHE KISSED THIS GUY IN HER OFFICE. 42 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:53,689 YOU KNOW THIS GUY BERKUS? WELL, SHE KISSED HIM. 43 00:01:53,713 --> 00:01:55,725 SHE DIDN'T ACTUALLY KISS HIM. 44 00:01:55,749 --> 00:01:58,160 HE KISSED HER, BUT SHE DIDN'T EXACTLY STOP IT. 45 00:01:58,184 --> 00:01:59,795 SO WELCOME TO MY LIFE. 46 00:01:59,819 --> 00:02:02,565 HEY! NAKED GIRL. 47 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,400 DO YOU SEE WHAT'S GOING ON BEHIND YOUR COUCH? 48 00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:05,935 PAULIE, THIS IS JOYCE. 49 00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,737 JOYCE, THIS IS MY COUSIN PAUL. 50 00:02:07,761 --> 00:02:09,004 HI. HI, PAUL. 51 00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:10,507 I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. 52 00:02:10,531 --> 00:02:12,508 EXCUSE ME. SORRY. 53 00:02:12,532 --> 00:02:14,911 DO YOU STILL HAVE THOSE FAT-FREE COOKIES? 54 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,375 YEAH. ON THE SHELF, NEXT TO THE CHIPS. 55 00:02:38,258 --> 00:02:42,105 NO. STAY, STAY. JUST... I CAN'T FIND THEM. 56 00:02:42,129 --> 00:02:45,408 THEY'RE UNDERNEATH THE GOOD COOKIES... THE ONES WITH THE FAT. 57 00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:47,277 EVERYTHING'S SO DIFFERENT NOW. 58 00:02:47,301 --> 00:02:49,579 THE AIR'S A DIFFERENT COLOR. 59 00:02:49,603 --> 00:02:51,381 I FEEL SO TOTALLY OFF. 60 00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,649 I WAS WALKING HERE... I CAN'T CATCH MY BREATH. 61 00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:56,653 YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? 62 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,055 WE'RE GOING TO FIGURE IT OUT. I PROMISE. 63 00:02:59,079 --> 00:03:01,958 WHAT GOOD COOKIES WITH THE FAT? 64 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,222 JUST A SECOND. ALL RIGHT? 65 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,069 YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? 66 00:03:13,093 --> 00:03:14,426 I GAVE HIM THOSE SHEETS. 67 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,410 [KNOCK ON DOOR] 68 00:03:20,434 --> 00:03:21,967 COME IN! IT'S OPEN! 69 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,249 HI, JAMIE. WANT TO PLAY TWISTER? 70 00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:29,019 TWISTER? NO, THANKS. 71 00:03:29,043 --> 00:03:32,422 HOW ABOUT A THREE-WAY GAME OF CHUTES AND LADDERS? 72 00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:33,589 MAYBE LATER. 73 00:03:33,613 --> 00:03:35,313 I'LL GO SET IT UP. 74 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:38,894 LISA... HELP. 75 00:03:38,918 --> 00:03:39,929 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 76 00:03:39,953 --> 00:03:40,963 I'M IN TROUBLE. 77 00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:42,132 WHAT'S UP? 78 00:03:42,156 --> 00:03:44,935 I KISSED DOUG BERKUS. 79 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:49,105 THAT GUY FROM THE OFFICE? HE'S SO CUTE! 80 00:03:49,129 --> 00:03:51,408 O.K., REALLY NOT THE POINT. 81 00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:52,775 I KNOW. 82 00:03:52,799 --> 00:03:55,111 I MAY HAVE JUST SCREWED UP 83 00:03:55,135 --> 00:03:57,681 WHAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN A VERY NICE LITTLE LIFE. 84 00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:58,848 HE'LL GET OVER IT. 85 00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,716 MINE. MY LIFE. 86 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,019 ALL RIGHT. IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD. 87 00:04:03,043 --> 00:04:04,323 COME ON. 88 00:04:05,613 --> 00:04:10,059 YOU DIDN'T, UH... NO. GOD. OF COURSE NOT. 89 00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:12,361 YOU'LL FEEL BAD FOR A LITTLE BIT. 90 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:14,064 YOU'LL GET OVER IT. LIFE GOES ON. 91 00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:16,432 PAUL LEFT. 92 00:04:16,456 --> 00:04:17,500 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 93 00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,068 I TOLD HIM WHAT HAPPENED. 94 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,103 HE GOT UPSET AND LEFT. 95 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,540 I COULDN'T STAY IN THE HOUSE ALONE. 96 00:04:23,564 --> 00:04:26,409 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. WHAT DO I DO? 97 00:04:26,433 --> 00:04:27,743 YOU'RE ASKING ME? 98 00:04:27,767 --> 00:04:29,066 YES. 99 00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:34,150 COOL. 100 00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,385 [TELEPHONE RINGS] 101 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,619 YEAH? 102 00:04:36,643 --> 00:04:37,820 IS HE THERE? 103 00:04:37,844 --> 00:04:39,055 YEAH. IS SHE THERE? 104 00:04:39,079 --> 00:04:40,223 UH-HUH. 105 00:04:40,247 --> 00:04:42,359 NOPE. DO YOU BELIEVE THIS? 106 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:44,516 YOU PUT HER ON. I'LL PUT HIM ON. 107 00:04:46,219 --> 00:04:48,064 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO HIM. 108 00:04:48,088 --> 00:04:49,732 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 109 00:04:49,756 --> 00:04:51,834 SHE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO ME? 110 00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:55,905 NO, NO. I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO HER. 111 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,041 HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO HER. 112 00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:00,276 WHAT? VERY MATURE. 113 00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,979 HE SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU. 114 00:05:04,003 --> 00:05:05,047 VERY MATURE. 115 00:05:05,071 --> 00:05:06,115 TOLD YOU. 116 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,017 THEY SAID YOU'RE VERY MATURE. 117 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:12,588 VERY MATURE SARCASTIC, OR VERY MATURE SINCERE? 118 00:05:12,612 --> 00:05:14,613 I'D HAVE TO GUESS SARCASTIC. 119 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:21,064 I DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE TALKING TO HIM RIGHT NOW. 120 00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:22,031 HUH? 121 00:05:22,055 --> 00:05:23,132 HUH? WHAT? 122 00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:24,067 WHAT? NEVER MIND. 123 00:05:24,091 --> 00:05:24,934 I DON'T KNOW. NEVER MIND. 124 00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:25,901 SHE DOESN'T KNOW. 125 00:05:25,925 --> 00:05:26,936 SHE DOESN'T KNOW. 126 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,704 SHE DOESN'T KNOW HOPELESS, 127 00:05:28,728 --> 00:05:30,973 OR SHE DOESN'T KNOW, LIKE, AMBIVALENT? 128 00:05:30,997 --> 00:05:32,475 GET ON THE PHONE. 129 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:33,810 NO, NO. 130 00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:35,144 WHAT DID HE SAY? HOLD ON A SECOND. 131 00:05:35,168 --> 00:05:35,978 HOLD ON A SECOND. 132 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:37,046 I GOT NOTHING TO SAY TO HER. 133 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:38,915 HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO HER. 134 00:05:38,939 --> 00:05:40,249 HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO YOU. 135 00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,751 HE HAS NOTHING TO SAY TO ME? 136 00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,619 WHAT IS THERE TO SAY? WHAT IS THERE TO SAY? 137 00:05:43,643 --> 00:05:46,289 A... SHE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING TO ANYBODY NOW. 138 00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,724 SHE SHOULDN'T BE TALKING AT ALL. 139 00:05:48,748 --> 00:05:50,527 SHE SHOULD LOOK INSIDE HER SOUL 140 00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:53,129 FOR SOME ANSWERS TO VERY STICKY QUESTIONS 141 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,130 ABOUT THE DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE 142 00:05:55,154 --> 00:05:58,735 AND PROPRIETY AND THE CONSEQUENCES OF ACTIONS 143 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:00,403 AND THE RAMIFICATIONS THEREOF. 144 00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,572 ANSWERS TO ALL KINDS OF STUFF. 145 00:06:02,596 --> 00:06:06,142 AND 2... AND DEUX... IN A LARGER SENSE... 146 00:06:06,166 --> 00:06:07,610 WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS SHE? 147 00:06:07,634 --> 00:06:08,811 WHAT KIND OF PERSON IS SHE? 148 00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:11,714 WHO IS THIS WOMAN THAT I THOUGHT I KNEW, 149 00:06:11,738 --> 00:06:15,684 WHO HAS MADE A MOCKERY OF EVERYTHING THAT I HELD SACRED? 150 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:18,388 AND WHEN WE MADE OUR SACRED MARRIAGE VOWS... 151 00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:20,156 FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE, 152 00:06:20,180 --> 00:06:22,758 FOR SICKNESS OR FOR POORER... 153 00:06:22,782 --> 00:06:25,261 I DON'T RECALL ANYBODY MAKING MENTION 154 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,297 OF THE BRIDE KISSING DOUGLAS BERKUS. 155 00:06:27,321 --> 00:06:28,965 ABOUT THE BRIDE KISSING THIS CLOWN BERKUS. 156 00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:31,000 AND I'LL TELL YOU, 157 00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,269 THE NERVE, THE UNMITIGATED GALL 158 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,004 OF HER TEARING APART THIS UNION 159 00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:36,272 OUT OF PERSONAL WEAKNESS 160 00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:39,074 LEAVES ANY THINKING, FEELING HUMAN BEING 161 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,765 WITH A PIT IN THEIR STOMACH. 162 00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:45,148 AND TELL HER I WANT MY DOG BACK. 163 00:06:45,172 --> 00:06:48,051 TELL HIM PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN GLASS HOUSES SHOULDN'T THROW STONES, 164 00:06:48,075 --> 00:06:50,953 THAT NONE OF US IS PERFECT, 165 00:06:50,977 --> 00:06:54,490 AND UNTIL HE'S WALKED A MILE IN MY SHOES, HE HAS NOT WALKED. 166 00:06:54,514 --> 00:06:57,014 BOY, ARE YOU IN TROUBLE. 167 00:06:59,185 --> 00:07:01,597 AND TELL HIM IF HE STOPS BY THE APARTMENT TO WATER THE PLANTS. 168 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,133 AND ALSO I LEFT A FROZEN CHICKEN ON THE COUNTER. 169 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,868 IF HE WANTS TO PICK UP MURRAY, 170 00:07:05,892 --> 00:07:07,637 HE CAN COME BY MY OFFICE AND GET HIM TOMORROW 171 00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:09,105 BEFORE HIS JOB INTERVIEW. 172 00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,308 AND TELL HIM GOODBYE. 173 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:14,243 DID YOU HEAR THAT? 174 00:07:14,267 --> 00:07:16,746 DID YOU HEAR THAT? 175 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,547 JUST TELL HER GOODBYE. 176 00:07:18,571 --> 00:07:19,571 GOODBYE. 177 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,455 HEY. 178 00:07:26,479 --> 00:07:28,323 LOOK WHO'S LATE INSTEAD OF ME. 179 00:07:28,347 --> 00:07:30,660 WE COULDN'T GET ON THE SUBWAY. 180 00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,428 MURRAY WOULDN'T SAY HE'S A SEEING EYE DOG. 181 00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,863 PICK A BUTTON. 182 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,397 THE BUTTONS. 183 00:07:35,421 --> 00:07:37,399 THAT'S RIGHT. THE BUTTONS. 184 00:07:37,423 --> 00:07:39,102 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR." WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY? 185 00:07:39,126 --> 00:07:40,625 SEE YOU TOMORROW. 186 00:07:43,763 --> 00:07:45,141 SO THIS IS MURRAY. 187 00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:46,309 YES. 188 00:07:46,333 --> 00:07:48,144 MURRAY, DOUG. 189 00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:49,212 DOUG, MURRAY. 190 00:07:49,236 --> 00:07:50,179 HI, MURRAY. 191 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,948 [DING] 192 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,550 LISTEN, JAMIE, I, UH... 193 00:07:54,574 --> 00:07:57,920 HEY, CAN WE WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE? IS THAT ALL RIGHT? 194 00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,310 FOURTH FLOOR, PLEASE. O.K. 195 00:08:01,415 --> 00:08:03,993 UM, ABOUT YESTERDAY... DOUG... 196 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,762 I DIDN'T SLEEP AT ALL LAST NIGHT. 197 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:09,932 THAT MAKES 17 OF US. 198 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:12,802 LOOK, THIS THING THAT HAPPENED... DOUG... 199 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:16,138 CAN I... PLEASE... LET ME SAY THIS, O.K.? 200 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,576 UH, I THOUGHT IN THE BACK OF MY CRAZY HEAD 201 00:08:19,600 --> 00:08:22,912 THAT YOU WANTED ME TO. 202 00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,713 NOW, OBVIOUSLY, YOU DIDN'T, BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. 203 00:08:24,737 --> 00:08:26,916 AND IF I HAD NEVER TRIED, 204 00:08:26,940 --> 00:08:29,385 I WOULD NEVER HAVE FORGIVEN MYSELF. DOUG... 205 00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:34,657 REALLY, I'M... I'M VERY EMBARRASSED ABOUT THIS, BUT... 206 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,192 PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. 207 00:08:37,216 --> 00:08:39,328 NO, I KNOW. 208 00:08:39,352 --> 00:08:42,531 I'M REALLY... AWFULLY FOND OF YOU, JAMIE. 209 00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,934 I KNOW THAT. 210 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,992 AND MAYBE IN ANOTHER LIFE, UM... [DING] 211 00:08:55,335 --> 00:08:57,413 IF I THOUGHT WE COULDN'T BE FRIENDS, 212 00:08:57,437 --> 00:08:59,415 I WOULD REALLY HATE THAT. 213 00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,283 MAYBE WE COULD PRETEND THIS NEVER HAPPENED... 214 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:02,385 I ALREADY TOLD PAUL. 215 00:09:02,409 --> 00:09:03,986 WHAT? 216 00:09:04,010 --> 00:09:05,354 I TOLD PAUL ABOUT IT. 217 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,489 WHY? 218 00:09:06,513 --> 00:09:07,523 BECAUSE I DID. 219 00:09:07,547 --> 00:09:08,958 OH, GREAT. 220 00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,426 THE STAIRS ARE FASTER. 221 00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:11,794 I BET HE WANTS TO KILL ME. 222 00:09:11,818 --> 00:09:12,962 NO, HE DOESN'T. 223 00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:14,906 I HOPE YOU CAN TELL HIM... 224 00:09:17,624 --> 00:09:19,002 HI. 225 00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,358 HI. 226 00:09:24,164 --> 00:09:25,174 OH. 227 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:26,843 HI. 228 00:09:26,867 --> 00:09:27,867 HI. 229 00:09:33,039 --> 00:09:35,317 WELL... 230 00:09:35,341 --> 00:09:38,120 CAN ANYBODY THINK OF ANYTHING MORE AWKWARD? 231 00:09:38,144 --> 00:09:40,523 HONEY. 232 00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:42,425 OH, ME? 233 00:09:42,449 --> 00:09:43,859 YES, YOU. 234 00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:44,982 I WASN'T SURE. 235 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:50,633 LISTEN, I THINK IT'S... [BRAKES SCREECH] 236 00:09:50,657 --> 00:09:52,868 I REALLY DON'T THINK 237 00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,369 YOU SHOULD SAY ANYTHING JUST NOW. 238 00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:55,538 IF I... 239 00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:58,807 AND I'M REALLY, REALLY SURE ABOUT THAT FOR YOU. 240 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,276 I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU. 241 00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:02,979 THINK THAT'S PRETTY OBVIOUS. 242 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,114 THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON. 243 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:06,915 I REALLY WOULDN'T CALL IT NOTHING. 244 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,552 I SWEAR TO YOU, THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON. 245 00:10:09,576 --> 00:10:12,421 LOOK HOW NICE YOU BOTH GET ALONG. 246 00:10:12,445 --> 00:10:14,290 [ALARM BELL RINGS] 247 00:10:14,314 --> 00:10:17,393 HONEY, THE SECURITY GUYS COME IF THE ELEVATOR ST... 248 00:10:17,417 --> 00:10:18,583 [RINGING STOPS] 249 00:10:24,857 --> 00:10:25,923 [DING] 250 00:10:30,530 --> 00:10:31,941 DO YOU WANT TO COME IN AND TALK FOR A MINUTE? 251 00:10:31,965 --> 00:10:34,944 NO. I JUST WANT TO TALK TO DOUG FOR A SECOND. 252 00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:36,979 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 253 00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,869 I'M JUST GOING TO TALK TO DOUG. 254 00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,068 YOU MARRIED? 255 00:10:59,092 --> 00:11:00,636 NO. 256 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,539 EVER BEEN MARRIED? NO. 257 00:11:03,563 --> 00:11:05,140 HMM. 258 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,542 BUT I KNOW THAT IT IS NOT EASY TO... 259 00:11:07,566 --> 00:11:08,899 REALLY? 260 00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:14,216 YES. AND I WANT TO SAY, PAUL, THAT I'M... 261 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,952 [BRAKES SCREECH] 262 00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:19,455 LISTEN, I KNOW THAT WHATEVER IS WRONG, 263 00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,357 WHATEVER'S GOING ON WITH JAMIE AND ME, 264 00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,691 THAT IS OUR PROBLEM. 265 00:11:22,715 --> 00:11:26,262 WE WILL FIX IT. THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 266 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:30,032 IT WAS WRONG, AND I APOLOGIZE TO BOTH OF YOU. 267 00:11:30,056 --> 00:11:31,066 THAT'S VERY SWEET. 268 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,402 I MEAN THAT, PAUL. 269 00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:35,805 I UNDERSTAND. THAT'S AWFULLY CIVILIZED. 270 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:37,907 AT THE SAME TIME, I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU... 271 00:11:37,931 --> 00:11:39,374 AND I MEAN THIS 272 00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:44,213 WITH NOTHING BUT RESPECT FOR YOU AS A PROFESSIONAL... 273 00:11:44,237 --> 00:11:48,384 IF YOU EVER TOUCH MY WIFE AGAIN... I WON'T. 274 00:11:48,408 --> 00:11:50,608 [ALARM BELL STARTS] I PROMISE. 275 00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,348 [BELL STOPS] 276 00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,403 DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO HIT YOU? 277 00:12:07,427 --> 00:12:09,238 YEAH, I DID. 278 00:12:09,262 --> 00:12:10,428 [DING] 279 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:12,696 GOOD. 280 00:12:19,139 --> 00:12:22,099 MURRAY, I TOLD YOU TO GO BEFORE WE LEFT. 281 00:12:23,910 --> 00:12:25,387 DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. 282 00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:26,589 UM, MR. BUCHMAN. 283 00:12:26,613 --> 00:12:28,090 HI. YES. PAUL. 284 00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,225 HI, PAUL. 285 00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:31,060 I'M JANE PAULEY'S ASSISTANT. HI. 286 00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,861 I SEE YOU BROUGHT A LITTLE FRIEND ALONG. 287 00:12:32,885 --> 00:12:35,431 I HAD A SCHEDULING CONFLICT. 288 00:12:35,455 --> 00:12:37,766 I DON'T USUALLY BRING A DOG TO AN INTERVIEW, 289 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:39,835 ESPECIALLY A JOB THAT I REALLY WANT. 290 00:12:39,859 --> 00:12:41,937 I'M VERY EXCITED ABOUT THIS JOB. 291 00:12:41,961 --> 00:12:44,273 9 OUT OF 10 INTERVIEWS, THERE'S NO DOG. 292 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,675 I'M ENTIRELY DOGLESS THROUGHOUT THE INTERVIEW, 293 00:12:45,699 --> 00:12:47,810 NOT EVEN, LIKE, A PUPPY. 294 00:12:47,834 --> 00:12:51,576 MR. BUCHMAN, I THINK YOUR DOG... OOH. OOH. 295 00:12:53,706 --> 00:12:55,818 I BEGGED YOU TO GO BEFORE WE GOT HERE. 296 00:12:55,842 --> 00:12:58,654 I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU DO THIS TO ME. 297 00:12:58,678 --> 00:13:00,611 WHY MAURY POVICH? 298 00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:06,918 WHAT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME? 299 00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,389 YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THIS? 300 00:13:18,998 --> 00:13:20,798 WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? 301 00:13:33,713 --> 00:13:35,424 [SINGING] 302 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,292 COME ON. RIGHT ON THE CARPET? 303 00:13:37,316 --> 00:13:39,061 RIGHT BETWEEN DATE AND LINE. 304 00:13:39,085 --> 00:13:41,997 YOU AIN'T GOING TO GET THAT JOB. 305 00:13:42,021 --> 00:13:44,800 WHAT DID WE HAVE IN THAT LAST BAR? 306 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:45,868 THE SPORTS BAR? 307 00:13:45,892 --> 00:13:46,969 NO. BEFORE THAT. 308 00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:48,204 YES. THE STRIP CLUB? 309 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:49,438 IT WAS A MAI TAI. 310 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:50,605 OW. THAT WAS THE BIG MISTAKE. 311 00:13:50,629 --> 00:13:54,610 BEST THING FOR THAT... COLD BEER AND SOME KARAOKE. 312 00:13:54,634 --> 00:13:57,412 THIS GUY'S SLEEPING ON MY COUCH... 313 00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,648 3:00 IN THE MORNING 314 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,117 WATCHING FLIPPER IN HIS UNDERWEAR AND CRYING. 315 00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:04,887 EXCUSE ME FOR HAVING EMOTIONS. 316 00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:07,223 YOU GUYS EVER HAVE A MARRIAGE THAT FELL TO CRAP? 317 00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,358 YES. YEAH. 318 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,793 ALL RIGHT, THEN. SO SHUT UP. 319 00:14:11,817 --> 00:14:14,252 WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE US TO DO TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER? 320 00:14:15,521 --> 00:14:18,601 I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO PUNCH SOMEBODY. 321 00:14:18,625 --> 00:14:19,668 WHO... BERKUS? 322 00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:21,069 FOR STARTERS, YEAH. 323 00:14:21,093 --> 00:14:22,438 YOU SHOULD HAVE. 324 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:23,538 WANT TO HIT ME? 325 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:25,474 WHY? WHAT DID YOU DO? 326 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:27,542 NOTHING. IT'S JUST A RELEASE. YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. 327 00:14:27,566 --> 00:14:30,613 YOU WOULD LET ME HIT YOU? 328 00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,381 SURE. IF IT HELPS YOU. 329 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:33,382 THANK YOU. 330 00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:34,416 YOU WANT TO? 331 00:14:34,440 --> 00:14:35,550 NAH. MAYBE LATER. 332 00:14:35,574 --> 00:14:38,120 COME ON, NOW. DO IT NOW. 333 00:14:38,144 --> 00:14:39,889 REALLY? 334 00:14:39,913 --> 00:14:41,278 YEAH. GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. 335 00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:45,961 COME ON. THAT'S NOT A HIT. 336 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:47,028 PAULIE, THAT'S NOT A HIT. 337 00:14:47,052 --> 00:14:48,664 OW! THAT'S A HIT. 338 00:14:48,688 --> 00:14:50,132 THERE YOU GO. 339 00:14:50,156 --> 00:14:52,134 ME, ME. WHAT ABOUT ME? 340 00:14:52,158 --> 00:14:54,070 YEAH! O.K., THERE. NOW... 341 00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,304 NOW WE FEEL BETTER? 342 00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,306 NOT ONE OUNCE. 343 00:14:57,330 --> 00:14:59,308 I WANT TO BE LIKE JAMIE. 344 00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:00,843 I'D LIKE TO KISS SOMEBODY. 345 00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,678 WANT TO KISS ME? 346 00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:04,546 YOU WOULD LET ME KISS YOU? 347 00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,848 SURE. 348 00:15:05,872 --> 00:15:07,683 I DON'T WANT TO KISS YOU. 349 00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:08,884 YOU'LL FEEL BETTER. 350 00:15:08,908 --> 00:15:10,719 THAT HAS ZERO APPEAL TO ME. 351 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:11,721 I UNDERSTAND. 352 00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:12,754 MAYBE LATER? 353 00:15:12,778 --> 00:15:14,189 MAYBE LATER. 354 00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:16,358 O.K. 355 00:15:16,382 --> 00:15:18,927 RIGHT THERE. THAT'S A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF SOMEBODY 356 00:15:18,951 --> 00:15:20,529 THAT I WOULD LIKE TO KISS. 357 00:15:20,553 --> 00:15:21,997 SO GO AHEAD. 358 00:15:22,021 --> 00:15:23,131 YOU'D LET ME? 359 00:15:23,155 --> 00:15:24,767 SURE. IF IT'LL HELP YOU. 360 00:15:24,791 --> 00:15:26,635 YOU'RE SO GOOD TO ME. 361 00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:29,304 WELL, YOU KNOW, I HATE TO NITPICK, 362 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:31,073 BUT KISSING SOMEBODY WOULDN'T MAKE YOU EVEN. 363 00:15:31,097 --> 00:15:32,675 WHY NOT? 364 00:15:32,699 --> 00:15:34,076 BECAUSE JAMES DIDN'T KISS SOMEBODY. 365 00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:35,444 SOMEBODY KISSED HER. 366 00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,013 THE MAN HAS A POINT. 367 00:15:38,037 --> 00:15:41,183 TECHNICALLY, SOMEBODY WOULD HAVE TO KISS YOU. 368 00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:44,419 THEN I COULD TAKE HALF AN HOUR TO PUSH THEM AWAY, 369 00:15:44,443 --> 00:15:46,054 PRETEND I DIDN'T ENJOY IT. 370 00:15:46,078 --> 00:15:48,791 HEY, COME ON. LET'S BE FAIR TO JAMIE. 371 00:15:48,815 --> 00:15:52,360 THIS WAS A ONE-TIME THING, AN ISOLATED INCIDENT. 372 00:15:52,384 --> 00:15:54,964 IT WAS A MOMENTARY LAPSE OF JUDGMENT, OF WEAKNESS. 373 00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,899 IT'S NOT A CAPITAL CRIME. 374 00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,283 IN EUROPE, THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. MM-HMM. 375 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,004 WHERE? 376 00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,206 IN EUROPE. 377 00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:05,541 WHERE IN EUROPE? 378 00:16:05,565 --> 00:16:08,877 WHEREVER YOU WANT... ITALY, FRANCE. 379 00:16:08,901 --> 00:16:10,445 YOU DON'T THINK IN FRANCE THIS HAPPENS EVERY DAY? 380 00:16:10,469 --> 00:16:12,415 OH. THE FRENCH DON'T CARE. 381 00:16:12,439 --> 00:16:14,049 IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. 382 00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,185 EVERY DAY, EVERY MINUTE. 383 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:18,954 BINGO. JUST HAPPENED. 384 00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:22,124 A GUY IN MARSEILLES JUST GRABBED ANOTHER GUY'S WIFE 385 00:16:22,148 --> 00:16:23,625 RIGHT IN THE CROISSANT. 386 00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:25,961 WHY CAN'T I DO THAT? 387 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:27,796 BECAUSE THAT'S NOT YOU. 388 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,265 THESE PEOPLE ARE FRENCH. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? 389 00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:30,999 ALL RIGHT. 390 00:16:31,023 --> 00:16:32,635 WHAT ABOUT HER? 391 00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:34,403 WHAT ABOUT HER? 392 00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:37,606 WHAT IF SHE KISSED ME OUT OF HER OWN GOODWILL? 393 00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:40,175 YOU'D BE ONE LUCKY MAN. 394 00:16:40,199 --> 00:16:42,077 HERE YOU GO. 395 00:16:42,101 --> 00:16:44,547 HERE YOU GO, SWEETHEART. 396 00:16:44,571 --> 00:16:45,881 WHAT IS YOUR NAME? 397 00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:47,082 SANDRA. 398 00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,752 SANDRA, DO YOU KNOW IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY? 399 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,186 OH. IS IT REALLY? 400 00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:52,888 YEP. 401 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,778 WELL, HAPPY BIRTHDAY. 402 00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,862 SO, I TOOK A SHOT THERE. 403 00:17:00,886 --> 00:17:03,165 DON'T MAKE US DRAG YOU OUT. 404 00:17:03,189 --> 00:17:05,768 THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE... I STOP AT THE LINE. 405 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,570 I DANCE UP TO IT, SKATE NEAR IT. 406 00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:10,672 I DON'T GO OVER THE LINE. 407 00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:13,175 MY WIFE CATAPULTS CLEAR ACROSS THE LINE. 408 00:17:13,199 --> 00:17:15,177 JAMIE DOESN'T CATAPULT. 409 00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:18,313 IF I HAD KNOWN, I WOULD'VE ENJOYED MYSELF BEFORE. 410 00:17:18,337 --> 00:17:21,317 YOU FEEL GUILTY JUST LOOKING ACROSS THE LINE. 411 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:24,019 I HAVE NOTHING TO SHOW FOR MY GUILT. 412 00:17:24,043 --> 00:17:26,588 I'M IN A LOSE-LOSE SITUATION. 413 00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,091 YOU THINK YOU'RE THE FIRST COUPLE TO GO THROUGH THIS? 414 00:17:29,115 --> 00:17:31,594 FRAN AND I WENT THROUGH HELL. 415 00:17:31,618 --> 00:17:34,696 TWO YEARS SEPARATED... YOU WORK THROUGH IT, AND IT BECOMES BETTER. 416 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:36,231 IT'S LIKE A BROKEN BONE. 417 00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,500 YOU RESET IT, AND SOMETIMES 418 00:17:38,524 --> 00:17:41,025 IT'S STRONGER THAN BEFORE YOU BROKE IT. 419 00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:47,076 I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING THAT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. 420 00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:49,277 FRAN AND I WERE JUST MARRIED. 421 00:17:49,301 --> 00:17:51,146 THERE'S THIS GUY IN FRAN'S OFFICE. 422 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:53,281 HE KEEPS CALLING HER AND CALLING... 423 00:17:53,305 --> 00:17:55,618 NO, I'M SORRY. NO, THAT WASN'T FRAN. 424 00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:57,586 THAT WAS ANOTHER COUPLE... THE KOPACKS. 425 00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:58,553 THEY'RE FRIENDS OF OURS. 426 00:17:58,577 --> 00:18:00,823 FRAN TOLD ME... 427 00:18:00,847 --> 00:18:02,491 YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING? 428 00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,393 WORK THINGS THROUGH. IT GETS BETTER. 429 00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,762 MARK, YOU'RE GOING TO DEPRESS THE BOY. 430 00:18:06,786 --> 00:18:09,799 WHOEVER ORDERED HANK WILLIAMS, YOUR SONG IS UP. 431 00:18:09,823 --> 00:18:11,566 HERE WE GO. IT'S OUR TURN. 432 00:18:11,590 --> 00:18:13,102 JUST WHAT YOU NEED. 433 00:18:13,126 --> 00:18:14,936 A RELEASE. WHAT DO I NEED? 434 00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:16,204 I DON'T SING. 435 00:18:16,228 --> 00:18:19,174 YOU DON'T HAVE TO. JUST BE LOUD. 436 00:18:19,198 --> 00:18:22,711 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, HERE'S A LITTLE SONG FROM THE BIRTHDAY BOY. 437 00:18:22,735 --> 00:18:23,746 THE LYRICS. 438 00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:25,547 MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF. 439 00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,316 NO, NO, NO. 440 00:18:27,340 --> 00:18:31,220 ♪ YOUR CHEATIN' HEART ♪ 441 00:18:31,244 --> 00:18:32,888 ♪ WILL MAKE YOU WEEP ♪ 442 00:18:32,912 --> 00:18:34,790 I DON'T KNOW THESE GUYS. 443 00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:38,693 ♪ YOU'LL CRY AND CRY ♪ 444 00:18:38,717 --> 00:18:42,831 ♪ AND TRY TO SLEEP ♪ 445 00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:46,702 ♪ BUT SLEEP WON'T COME ♪ 446 00:18:46,726 --> 00:18:48,404 ♪ THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH ♪ 447 00:18:48,428 --> 00:18:50,672 SING IT, PAUL! SING IT! 448 00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:54,210 ♪ YOUR CHEATING HEART ♪ 449 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:56,078 ♪ WILL TELL ON YOU ♪ 450 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,313 ♪ WILL TELL ON YOU ♪ 451 00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,082 ♪ YOUR CHEATING HEART ♪ 452 00:19:00,106 --> 00:19:02,251 CHEATING HEART, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! 453 00:19:02,275 --> 00:19:03,719 ♪ WILL TELL ON YOU ♪ 454 00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,121 JUST LIKE YOUR LITTLE SISTER! 455 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:08,123 ♪ YOU'LL CRY AND CRY ♪ 456 00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,892 SOBBING, SOBBING! 457 00:19:09,916 --> 00:19:11,060 ♪ THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH ♪ 458 00:19:11,084 --> 00:19:13,062 THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH! 459 00:19:13,086 --> 00:19:15,130 [STAMMERS] 460 00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,866 SING IT LIKE HE DOES! 461 00:19:16,890 --> 00:19:18,868 ♪ THE WAY I DO ♪ 462 00:19:18,892 --> 00:19:20,736 CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP! 463 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,905 ♪ YOUR CHEATING HEART ♪ 464 00:19:22,929 --> 00:19:24,840 CHEATING HEART! 465 00:19:24,864 --> 00:19:26,742 ♪ WILL TELL ON YOU ♪ 466 00:19:26,766 --> 00:19:28,244 ♪ WILL TELL ON YOU ♪ 467 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,212 ♪ WILL TELL ON YOU ♪ 468 00:19:30,236 --> 00:19:32,314 WILL TELL ON YOU. 469 00:19:32,338 --> 00:19:38,354 [BARBERSHOP HARMONIES] ♪ WILL TELL ON YOU ♪♪ 470 00:19:38,378 --> 00:19:39,187 OH! THANK YOU! 471 00:19:39,211 --> 00:19:40,789 YES! 472 00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:42,825 THANK YOU! GOOD NIGHT! 473 00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,461 THERE YOU GO! 474 00:19:45,485 --> 00:19:47,062 VERY NICE, PAULIE. 475 00:19:47,086 --> 00:19:49,197 OH, WOW! 476 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:52,581 THAT WAS REALLY GREAT. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! 477 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:58,307 THERE YOU GO. YOU HAPPY NOW? 478 00:19:58,331 --> 00:20:00,811 NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAD PLANNED AT ALL. 479 00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,449 RRR. 480 00:20:07,473 --> 00:20:08,783 AAH-HA! 481 00:20:08,807 --> 00:20:11,719 OW! WOW, THAT HURTS. 482 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:13,655 WELL, THAT'S IT. IT'S OVER. 483 00:20:13,679 --> 00:20:16,258 IT'S BEEN A NICE CAREER. I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 484 00:20:16,282 --> 00:20:17,692 WHAT DO YOU GOT... BUTTONS? 485 00:20:17,716 --> 00:20:18,794 YEAH. READ ONE. 486 00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:20,562 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR." 487 00:20:20,586 --> 00:20:21,930 READ IT AGAIN. 488 00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:22,931 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYOR." 489 00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:24,099 READ IT AGAIN. 490 00:20:24,123 --> 00:20:25,968 "BROCKWELL FOR MAYRO." 491 00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,070 YES. 492 00:20:28,094 --> 00:20:29,905 I'M THE LAUGHINGSTOCK OF NEW YORK POLITICS. 493 00:20:29,929 --> 00:20:31,540 IT'S NOT THAT BAD. 494 00:20:31,564 --> 00:20:33,442 I THINK IT'S AN ENDEARING MISTAKE. 495 00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:35,944 OH, LISTEN. IRA HAD THE BEST IDEA. 496 00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:37,913 WE'RE GOING TO BURT AND SYLVIA'S 497 00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,548 AND IRON OUT THE PARTY-CONFLICT THING. 498 00:20:39,572 --> 00:20:41,015 WHO'S WE? 499 00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:44,486 WELL, THERE'S ME. THERE'S SANFORD, O.K.? 500 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:47,144 THERE'S BURT AND SYLVIA. AND IRA. 501 00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:50,291 AND ZIGGY. 502 00:20:50,315 --> 00:20:52,494 AND YOU AND PAUL! 503 00:20:52,518 --> 00:20:54,162 LISA! DID YOU SAY ME AND PAUL? 504 00:20:54,186 --> 00:20:55,497 YEAH. KIND OF. 505 00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,233 NO. I'M SORRY. IT'S NOT POSSIBLE. NOT NOW. 506 00:20:58,257 --> 00:20:59,568 DON'T YOU WANT TO SEE PAUL? 507 00:20:59,592 --> 00:21:03,438 NO, I DON'T... I MEAN, I DO WANT TO SEE HIM, 508 00:21:03,462 --> 00:21:06,541 BUT I AM NOT READY YET. 509 00:21:06,565 --> 00:21:09,778 EVENTUALLY, YES, I WANT TO SEE HIM. I MISS HIM VERY MUCH, 510 00:21:09,802 --> 00:21:12,180 BUT, NO, I AM NOT READY RIGHT NOW. 511 00:21:12,204 --> 00:21:14,416 I'M SAYING NO. ARE YOU LISTENING? 512 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:15,550 AAH! 513 00:21:15,574 --> 00:21:16,518 ALL RIGHT! 514 00:21:16,542 --> 00:21:17,875 THANKS. 515 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:22,157 [SYLVIA] WHERE'S JAMIE? 516 00:21:22,181 --> 00:21:23,225 WHY? 517 00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:24,826 IS THAT AN UNREASONABLE QUESTION? 518 00:21:24,850 --> 00:21:25,961 YOU'RE MARRIED TO THAT WOMAN. 519 00:21:25,985 --> 00:21:28,029 YOU'RE HERE, SHE'S NOT. 520 00:21:28,053 --> 00:21:29,498 SHE HAD TO, UM... 521 00:21:29,522 --> 00:21:31,266 SHE WAS SUPPOSED TO, UH... 522 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:33,168 YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED? 523 00:21:33,192 --> 00:21:36,171 FORGET IT. I'M NOT THAT INTERESTED. BELIEVE ME. 524 00:21:36,195 --> 00:21:37,639 WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 525 00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:38,741 WHY? MAKING COFFEE. 526 00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:40,876 IF ZIGGY KLARIK IS COMING, 527 00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:42,745 I WANT TO GIVE HIM SOME COFFEE. 528 00:21:42,769 --> 00:21:45,314 YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE ZIGGY KLARIK SOME COFFEE? 529 00:21:45,338 --> 00:21:47,416 NO, YOU'RE NOT. 530 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,784 ZIGGY KLARIK DOESN'T DESERVE A CUP OF COFFEE! 531 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:53,221 IT'S NOT THE GOOD COFFEE. 532 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,390 WHAT'S WITH YOU AND ZIGGY KLARIK? 533 00:21:55,414 --> 00:21:56,591 YEAH, WHAT HAPPENED? 534 00:21:56,615 --> 00:21:58,326 IT'S NOTHING. FORGET IT. 535 00:21:58,350 --> 00:21:59,961 IT'S A LONG TIME AGO. 536 00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:01,296 TELL THEM ALREADY. 537 00:22:01,320 --> 00:22:03,632 1954, A SALESMAN COMES INTO MY STORE 538 00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:05,534 WITH HIS NEW PRODUCT. 539 00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:07,869 HE SAYS IT'S GOING TO SWEEP THE NATION. 540 00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:09,337 IT'S A CIRCULAR THING. 541 00:22:09,361 --> 00:22:11,540 IT'S TUBULAR, A CIRCULAR TUBE. 542 00:22:11,564 --> 00:22:14,442 HE SAYS, "BURT, THIS IS GOING TO SWEEP THE NATION." 543 00:22:14,466 --> 00:22:17,178 SWEETIE, THE SHORT VERSION. 544 00:22:17,202 --> 00:22:20,716 HE PUTS THIS TUBE AROUND HIS WAIST, AND HE STARTS TWIRLING. 545 00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:24,152 A HULA-HOOP? THIS GUY BROUGHT YOU THE HULA-HOOP? 546 00:22:24,176 --> 00:22:27,322 THAT'S RIGHT. WE MADE A DEAL FOR ME 547 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:30,091 TO BE THE EXCLUSIVE HULA-HOOP DISTRIBUTOR IN THE TRISTATE AREA. 548 00:22:30,115 --> 00:22:32,327 THE VERY NEXT DAY, 549 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:34,996 I GET A CALL FROM THIS GUY. 550 00:22:35,020 --> 00:22:37,866 ZIGGY KLARIK OUTBID ME. HE MAKES MILLIONS. 551 00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:40,636 AND ME, EVERY TIME I SEE A HULA-HOOP, 552 00:22:40,660 --> 00:22:42,537 I GET A PAIN RIGHT HERE. 553 00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:45,640 DON'T EAT YOUR GUTS OUT. IT WAS 40 YEARS AGO. 554 00:22:45,664 --> 00:22:47,909 MEANWHILE, HE'S COMING INTO MY KITCHEN, 555 00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:49,243 AND YOU'RE MAKING HIM COFFEE. 556 00:22:49,267 --> 00:22:52,147 BECAUSE HIS SON IS GOING TO MARRY LISA. 557 00:22:52,171 --> 00:22:54,783 FOR EVERYBODY'S SAKE, COULD YOU AND ZIGGY 558 00:22:54,807 --> 00:22:56,585 TRY TO WORK OUT A SOLUTION? 559 00:22:56,609 --> 00:22:58,653 WELL, THERE IS A SIMPLE SOLUTION. 560 00:22:58,677 --> 00:22:59,877 HE CAN DROP DEAD. 561 00:23:01,113 --> 00:23:02,290 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 562 00:23:02,314 --> 00:23:03,391 I THINK IT'S THEM. 563 00:23:03,415 --> 00:23:05,160 THEM WHO? 564 00:23:05,184 --> 00:23:08,296 WHOEVER'S COMING WHO ISN'T US. 565 00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:10,854 I GOT IT. I'LL GO GET IT. 566 00:23:13,158 --> 00:23:14,302 HI. 567 00:23:14,326 --> 00:23:16,071 HI. 568 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:17,739 HI. 569 00:23:17,763 --> 00:23:19,941 I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU TWO A MINUTE. 570 00:23:19,965 --> 00:23:22,543 I'M SURPRISED YOU CAME. 571 00:23:22,567 --> 00:23:24,346 I DIDN'T WANT TO. LISA ASKED... 572 00:23:24,370 --> 00:23:26,447 I WASN'T LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS, EITHER. 573 00:23:26,471 --> 00:23:28,883 I KNOW. 574 00:23:28,907 --> 00:23:31,486 ALL RIGHT, AS LONG AS WE'RE HERE... 575 00:23:31,510 --> 00:23:34,223 MY PARENTS DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, SO... 576 00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:36,791 AND THEY DON'T NEED TO KNOW, SO... 577 00:23:36,815 --> 00:23:38,660 COULD WE PRETEND FOR THE AFTERNOON WE'RE STILL US? 578 00:23:38,684 --> 00:23:39,816 O.K. 579 00:23:45,291 --> 00:23:47,035 GET THIS INSURED. I KNOW A GUY. 580 00:23:47,059 --> 00:23:48,604 WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT GUY? 581 00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:50,372 SHE'S MARRYING KLARIKS. 582 00:23:50,396 --> 00:23:51,306 YOU DON'T THINK THEY'RE INSURED? 583 00:23:51,330 --> 00:23:52,307 HOW DO I KNOW? 584 00:23:52,331 --> 00:23:53,742 HI. 585 00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,009 JAMES. 586 00:23:55,033 --> 00:23:56,077 LOOK WHO'S HERE. 587 00:23:56,101 --> 00:23:58,647 HOW IS EVERYBODY? 588 00:23:58,671 --> 00:24:02,083 WE HAVE AN ANNIVERSARY AND ENGAGEMENT PARTY ON THE SAME DAY. 589 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:03,518 OTHER THAN THAT, WE'RE GETTING BY. 590 00:24:03,542 --> 00:24:05,654 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 591 00:24:05,678 --> 00:24:07,155 THAT'S SANFORD AND HIS DADDY. I'LL GET THAT. 592 00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:09,558 BOY, THE RICH BUZZ LONG. 593 00:24:09,582 --> 00:24:12,226 ENOUGH ALREADY. WE HEAR YOU. 594 00:24:12,250 --> 00:24:15,697 BY THE WAY... YOU LOOK VERY PRETTY. 595 00:24:15,721 --> 00:24:18,166 THANK YOU. YOU LOOK NICE, TOO. 596 00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:21,236 ALL RIGHT, SHALL WE? 597 00:24:21,260 --> 00:24:24,038 BECAUSE I'VE GOT 15 MINUTES. 598 00:24:24,062 --> 00:24:26,274 YOU EVER SEEN A WATCH LIKE THAT? 599 00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,010 NO, I WOULD IMAGINE NOT. 600 00:24:29,034 --> 00:24:31,145 HONEY, WE TOOK A CHECKER CAB. 601 00:24:31,169 --> 00:24:33,314 I SAT IN THE JUMP SEAT. 602 00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:36,251 COOL. ZIGGY KLARIK, THIS IS MY SISTER JAMIE. 603 00:24:36,275 --> 00:24:37,319 HI. WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 604 00:24:37,343 --> 00:24:38,787 JAMIE. JAMIE. 605 00:24:38,811 --> 00:24:40,455 HI, JAMIE. HI, SANFORD. 606 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,257 WE TOOK A CHECKER CAB. 607 00:24:42,281 --> 00:24:44,092 I HEARD. 608 00:24:44,116 --> 00:24:45,627 THIS IS MY BROTHER-IN-LAW PAUL. 609 00:24:45,651 --> 00:24:46,594 HI. 610 00:24:46,618 --> 00:24:47,629 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 611 00:24:47,653 --> 00:24:48,931 PAUL. PAUL. 612 00:24:48,955 --> 00:24:50,432 HI, PAUL. 613 00:24:50,456 --> 00:24:52,176 TOOK A CAB? CHECKER. 614 00:24:54,627 --> 00:24:57,372 AND THIS IS, UH, PAUL'S COUSIN IRA. 615 00:24:57,396 --> 00:24:59,140 WHAT'S YOUR NAME? 616 00:24:59,164 --> 00:25:00,808 IRA. IRA. IRA. 617 00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:04,245 AND THIS IS PAUL'S MOM SYLVIA. 618 00:25:04,269 --> 00:25:05,714 IMPOSSIBLE. 619 00:25:05,738 --> 00:25:07,315 WHAT? 620 00:25:07,339 --> 00:25:10,552 YOU CAN'T BE HIS MOM. MAYBE HIS SISTER. 621 00:25:10,576 --> 00:25:12,921 OH, MR. KLARIK. 622 00:25:12,945 --> 00:25:15,357 HIS YOUNGER SISTER. 623 00:25:15,381 --> 00:25:17,692 ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. 624 00:25:17,716 --> 00:25:19,794 QUIET. WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? 625 00:25:19,818 --> 00:25:22,230 AND I BELIEVE YOU KNOW THIS MAN. 626 00:25:22,254 --> 00:25:24,098 HELLO, BURT. ZIGGY. 627 00:25:24,122 --> 00:25:25,433 BEEN A LONG TIME. 628 00:25:25,457 --> 00:25:27,502 UH-HUH. 629 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:30,138 YOU STILL GOT THAT 12,000 SQUARE FEET ON 8th AVENUE? 630 00:25:30,162 --> 00:25:32,507 THAT'S RIGHT. 631 00:25:32,531 --> 00:25:33,808 SPORTING GOODS? 632 00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:35,343 YEP. 633 00:25:35,367 --> 00:25:38,013 WHAT DID YOU CLEAR LAST YEAR? 634 00:25:38,037 --> 00:25:39,914 WE DID ALL RIGHT. 635 00:25:39,938 --> 00:25:41,883 HA HA HA HA HA. 636 00:25:41,907 --> 00:25:43,318 I'M SURE YOU DID. 637 00:25:43,342 --> 00:25:47,221 UH, WHERE IS MRS. KLARIK TODAY? 638 00:25:47,245 --> 00:25:48,823 SHE COULDN'T BE HERE. 639 00:25:48,847 --> 00:25:50,992 SHE HAD TO GO TO THE BEAUTY PARLOR... 640 00:25:51,016 --> 00:25:54,329 FOR AN ESTIMATE. 641 00:25:54,353 --> 00:25:56,464 SO, ZIGGY, LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. 642 00:25:56,488 --> 00:25:58,033 OOH, DAD, LET'S NOT. 643 00:25:58,057 --> 00:25:59,268 HOW'S THE HULA-HOOP BUSINESS? 644 00:25:59,292 --> 00:26:00,735 OWWW. 645 00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:02,737 COME ON... 1954. WHAT ABOUT IT? 646 00:26:02,761 --> 00:26:04,272 DON'T PRETEND LIKE YOU DON'T REMEMBER. 647 00:26:04,296 --> 00:26:05,440 YOU SCREWED ME, KLARIK. 648 00:26:05,464 --> 00:26:07,042 I SCREWED YOU? YEAH. 649 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:08,509 YOU SHOULD'VE UPPED YOUR PRICE. 650 00:26:08,533 --> 00:26:10,245 I HAD A VERY FAIR PRICE. 651 00:26:10,269 --> 00:26:12,748 SO I WAS MORE FAIR. 652 00:26:12,772 --> 00:26:15,183 IS IT A CRIME TO BE MORE FAIR? 653 00:26:15,207 --> 00:26:17,152 I HAD A DEAL, YOU KNOW IT. 654 00:26:17,176 --> 00:26:18,853 I KNOW NOTHING. 655 00:26:18,877 --> 00:26:21,122 EXCUSE ME, GENTLEMEN. I'M SORRY. 656 00:26:21,146 --> 00:26:24,225 WE'RE HERE TO DISCUSS THE FUTURE, NOT THE PAST, 657 00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:27,795 SPECIFICALLY, TWO WEEKS FROM NEXT SUNDAY... THE 12th. 658 00:26:27,819 --> 00:26:31,700 SO, IF... IF WE COULD EITHER MOVE THE ANNIVERSARY PARTY 659 00:26:31,724 --> 00:26:33,100 OR THE ENGAGEMENT PARTY... 660 00:26:33,124 --> 00:26:35,002 [RASPBERRY] ENGAGEMENT PARTY. 661 00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:36,938 THANK YOU, SWEETHEART. 662 00:26:36,962 --> 00:26:39,441 TRUTHFULLY, UP UNTIL FIVE WEEKS AGO, 663 00:26:39,465 --> 00:26:42,544 I THOUGHT MY SON WAS GAY. 664 00:26:42,568 --> 00:26:44,779 DAD, DON'T START THIS AGAIN. 665 00:26:44,803 --> 00:26:47,783 WHAT AM I STARTING? WHO AM I? 666 00:26:47,807 --> 00:26:51,419 I'M AN OLD-FASHIONED GUY. TO ME, YOU'RE GAY. 667 00:26:51,443 --> 00:26:54,489 ALL RIGHT. WHY DON'T WE CUT TO THE CHASE? 668 00:26:54,513 --> 00:26:56,673 WHO'S GOING TO CHANGE THEIR PARTY DATE? 669 00:27:01,153 --> 00:27:02,597 HOW MUCH? 670 00:27:02,621 --> 00:27:05,066 HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH? HOW MUCH? 671 00:27:05,090 --> 00:27:07,101 HOW MUCH? YEAH. GIVE ME A NUMBER. 672 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:08,870 A NUMBER? 673 00:27:08,894 --> 00:27:11,039 YEAH, A PRICE. 674 00:27:11,063 --> 00:27:13,374 I GIVE YOU MONEY, YOU TAKE YOUR PARTY TO ANOTHER SUNDAY. 675 00:27:13,398 --> 00:27:14,476 DAD... ZIGGY! 676 00:27:14,500 --> 00:27:15,711 THAT'S ENOUGH. 677 00:27:15,735 --> 00:27:17,011 IT REALLY IS. JAMIE. 678 00:27:17,035 --> 00:27:19,013 SORRY, LISA, THERE COMES A POINT. 679 00:27:19,037 --> 00:27:20,582 MY PARENTS DON'T NEED YOUR DIRTY HULA-HOOP MONEY. 680 00:27:20,606 --> 00:27:24,486 YOU CAN'T WALK INTO THEIR HOME, CRITICIZING AND DISPARAGING. 681 00:27:24,510 --> 00:27:26,688 THEY'RE NOT AN APPLIANCE OR TOASTER. 682 00:27:26,712 --> 00:27:28,390 THESE ARE PEOPLE. 683 00:27:28,414 --> 00:27:30,258 YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON 45 YEARS OF MARRIAGE. 684 00:27:30,282 --> 00:27:31,715 YOU CAN'T JUST BUY THAT. 685 00:27:39,358 --> 00:27:41,069 I'LL GIVE YOU $10,000. 686 00:27:41,093 --> 00:27:42,093 [BOTH] SOLD. 687 00:27:59,478 --> 00:28:01,723 MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, EVERYBODY? 688 00:28:01,747 --> 00:28:04,225 MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION? 689 00:28:04,249 --> 00:28:06,127 WHY AREN'T YOU STANDING NEXT TO YOUR WIFE? 690 00:28:06,151 --> 00:28:07,895 BECAUSE I'M NOT. 691 00:28:07,919 --> 00:28:09,497 MAY I HAVE EVERYBODY'S ATTENTION? 692 00:28:09,521 --> 00:28:11,500 I KNOW IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS. 693 00:28:11,524 --> 00:28:13,601 GO STAND NEXT TO YOUR WIFE. 694 00:28:13,625 --> 00:28:15,904 TABBOULEH? 695 00:28:15,928 --> 00:28:16,928 OHH! 696 00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:19,663 MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION? 697 00:28:20,933 --> 00:28:25,001 I'LL GIVE YOU EACH 60 BUCKS FOR YOUR ATTENTION. 698 00:28:28,474 --> 00:28:30,807 SUCKERS! I WOULD'VE GONE TO 80. 699 00:28:32,477 --> 00:28:35,390 FIRST, LET ME SAY I AM SURE 700 00:28:35,414 --> 00:28:37,826 THAT YOU ARE AS SURPRISED AS I AM 701 00:28:37,850 --> 00:28:42,230 TO BE HERE TO TOAST MY SON'S ENGAGEMENT. 702 00:28:42,254 --> 00:28:44,254 I THOUGHT FOR THE SURE THE KID WAS GAY. 703 00:28:48,026 --> 00:28:52,874 MY SON SANFORD MET A WONDERFUL GIRL... 704 00:28:52,898 --> 00:28:55,110 DUMPED HER... 705 00:28:55,134 --> 00:28:58,468 AND THEN MET LISA, BUT I KID. I KID. 706 00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:05,186 AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THE NUTS AND BOLTS 707 00:29:05,210 --> 00:29:09,357 OF THE 218-PAGE PRE-NUP BEING HAMMERED OUT, 708 00:29:09,381 --> 00:29:11,660 AND WE CAN ALL GATHER TOGETHER 709 00:29:11,684 --> 00:29:15,085 AT THE WEDDING TO SAY, "GO FIGURE." 710 00:29:17,256 --> 00:29:19,868 AND SO NOW WE RAISE OUR GLASSES 711 00:29:19,892 --> 00:29:22,503 TO MY SON SANFORD... 712 00:29:22,527 --> 00:29:23,705 HEAR, HEAR. HEAR, HEAR. 713 00:29:23,729 --> 00:29:26,240 AND TO HIS FIANCéE LISA. 714 00:29:26,264 --> 00:29:27,341 ENJOY YOURSELVES! 715 00:29:27,365 --> 00:29:29,833 AND FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T BREAK ANYTHING! 716 00:29:31,904 --> 00:29:33,581 AHH! 717 00:29:33,605 --> 00:29:36,885 YOU GOT TO COME TO MY CLUB NEXT WEEKEND, 718 00:29:36,909 --> 00:29:41,556 AND THEN I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT DOOKIE BALL. 719 00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:43,325 "DOOKIE BALL"? 720 00:29:43,349 --> 00:29:45,593 YEAH. IT'S GOING TO SWEEP THE NATION. 721 00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:48,363 HONEY, CONGRATULATIONS. 722 00:29:48,387 --> 00:29:50,198 OH, THANK YOU. 723 00:29:50,222 --> 00:29:52,266 I'M NOT FEELING GREAT. I'M GOING TO GO. 724 00:29:52,290 --> 00:29:53,367 DID YOU TALK TO HIM? 725 00:29:53,391 --> 00:29:55,436 THIS ISN'T THE TIME OR PLACE. 726 00:29:55,460 --> 00:29:57,906 O.K., BUT AT LEAST COME SAY GOODBYE TO SANFORD. 727 00:29:57,930 --> 00:29:59,774 THIS IS THE HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE. 728 00:29:59,798 --> 00:30:01,743 YOU GOT A GREAT GIRL THERE. 729 00:30:01,767 --> 00:30:02,810 DON'T I THOUGH? 730 00:30:02,834 --> 00:30:04,979 HEY, SANFORD, JAMIE WANTS TO SAY GOODBYE. 731 00:30:05,003 --> 00:30:06,548 I WISH YOU EVERY HAPPINESS. 732 00:30:06,572 --> 00:30:07,516 THANKS. 733 00:30:07,540 --> 00:30:08,649 AMEN. 734 00:30:08,673 --> 00:30:10,051 THERE YOU ARE. 735 00:30:10,075 --> 00:30:12,620 I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT. 736 00:30:12,644 --> 00:30:14,356 WE WOULDN'T HAVE MISSED IT FOR THE WORLD. 737 00:30:14,380 --> 00:30:16,091 I WANT TO TELL YOU... 738 00:30:16,115 --> 00:30:18,393 IN THE END, MONEY MEANS NOTHING. 739 00:30:18,417 --> 00:30:20,362 OH, I WOULDN'T SAY NOTHING. 740 00:30:20,386 --> 00:30:22,730 IT MEANS SOMETHING, BUT VERY LITTLE COMPARED TO LOVE. 741 00:30:22,754 --> 00:30:24,365 DAD, THAT'S TRUE. 742 00:30:24,389 --> 00:30:27,168 BUT TRUST EVEN MORE THAN LOVE, DON'T YOU THINK? 743 00:30:27,192 --> 00:30:29,303 WHAT'S LOVE IF THERE'S NO TRUST? 744 00:30:29,327 --> 00:30:32,140 HMM, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. TRUST ABOVE EVERYTHING. 745 00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:36,310 YOU HEAR THAT, HONEY? APPARENTLY TRUST ABOVE EVERYTHING ELSE. 746 00:30:36,334 --> 00:30:38,946 I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. 747 00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:41,082 WHERE YOU GOING? I DIDN'T SAY... HE SAID IT. 748 00:30:41,106 --> 00:30:42,783 DID I SAY SOMETHING WRONG? 749 00:30:42,807 --> 00:30:44,887 NO, NO. SHE'S JUST... 750 00:30:50,249 --> 00:30:51,592 HEY, HEY. 751 00:30:51,616 --> 00:30:53,295 YOU ARE SUCH A JACKASS. 752 00:30:53,319 --> 00:30:54,462 I'M A JACKASS? 753 00:30:54,486 --> 00:30:56,131 YES. 754 00:30:56,155 --> 00:30:57,465 FINE, SO LEAVE ME FOR ANOTHER GUY. 755 00:30:57,489 --> 00:30:59,700 I'M NOT LEAVING YOU. GOD! 756 00:30:59,724 --> 00:31:01,369 YOU'RE HITTING ME. INTERESTING. 757 00:31:01,393 --> 00:31:03,772 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 758 00:31:03,796 --> 00:31:05,373 I DON'T KNOW. 759 00:31:05,397 --> 00:31:07,041 LET'S GO HOME AND TALK. 760 00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:09,210 NO, I CAN'T. I DON'T LIKE OUR HOME. 761 00:31:09,234 --> 00:31:11,445 DO YOU WANT TO GO SOMEWHERE ELSE? 762 00:31:11,469 --> 00:31:12,346 NOT PARTICULARLY. O.K., FINE. 763 00:31:12,370 --> 00:31:13,648 WHERE YOU GOING? 764 00:31:13,672 --> 00:31:15,150 IF YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK... WHO SAID THAT? 765 00:31:15,174 --> 00:31:16,751 YOU DID. I DID NOT. 766 00:31:16,775 --> 00:31:18,252 I JUST SAID, "DO YOU WANT TO TALK?" 767 00:31:18,276 --> 00:31:21,789 I DIDN'T LIKE THE WAY YOU SAID IT. 768 00:31:21,813 --> 00:31:25,126 I'M SO TIRED OF NOT TALKING TO YOU. 769 00:31:25,150 --> 00:31:27,317 THEN TALK TO ME. 770 00:31:32,223 --> 00:31:33,368 HOW YOU DOING? 771 00:31:33,392 --> 00:31:34,424 I'M FINE. 772 00:31:37,362 --> 00:31:39,174 I DON'T TRUST YOU ANYMORE. 773 00:31:39,198 --> 00:31:41,642 IF YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO TRUST ME AGAIN... 774 00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:43,611 DID I SAY THAT? NO, BUT... 775 00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:44,779 STOP PUTTING WORDS IN MY MOUTH. 776 00:31:44,803 --> 00:31:45,880 I'M SORRY. THANK YOU. 777 00:31:45,904 --> 00:31:48,416 GEEZ. ALL RIGHT... 778 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:50,718 GO... GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. 779 00:31:50,742 --> 00:31:55,023 YOU DON'T TRUST ME ANYMORE... BECAUSE... 780 00:31:55,047 --> 00:31:56,512 BECAUSE? 781 00:31:57,782 --> 00:32:01,630 BECAUSE I... I KISSED ANOTHER MAN? 782 00:32:01,654 --> 00:32:06,167 YEAH. THAT'S CERTAINLY NOT A PLUS, YOU KNOW. 783 00:32:06,191 --> 00:32:09,031 THAT'S NOT SOMETHING THAT ENDEARS YOU MORE TO ME. 784 00:32:10,929 --> 00:32:13,408 O.K., LISTEN TO ME. 785 00:32:13,432 --> 00:32:16,478 I AM SO SORRY. 786 00:32:16,502 --> 00:32:18,480 I COULD NOT BE MORE SORRY. 787 00:32:18,504 --> 00:32:20,749 IF I HAVE TO APOLOGIZE 788 00:32:20,773 --> 00:32:22,216 EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, 789 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:24,741 THEN I WILL, O.K.? I AM THAT SORRY. 790 00:32:44,997 --> 00:32:48,376 I THOUGHT YOU DID A VERY NICE JOB AT THE PARTY. 791 00:32:48,400 --> 00:32:49,533 THANKS. 792 00:32:52,370 --> 00:32:55,717 HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN ALL OF A SUDDEN? 793 00:32:55,741 --> 00:32:58,207 IT'S NOT ALL OF A SUDDEN. 794 00:32:59,912 --> 00:33:03,190 WHY DO YOU THINK I KEPT SAYING WE NEED TIME TOGETHER? 795 00:33:03,214 --> 00:33:06,427 WHY I KEPT PUSHING FOR US TO GET AWAY TOGETHER? 796 00:33:06,451 --> 00:33:07,595 SOMETHING WAS GOING ON. 797 00:33:07,619 --> 00:33:08,963 WITH BERKUS? 798 00:33:08,987 --> 00:33:11,099 WITH US. 799 00:33:11,123 --> 00:33:14,201 THIS GUY IS NOT THE PROBLEM. 800 00:33:14,225 --> 00:33:16,971 YOU KISSED HIM. 801 00:33:16,995 --> 00:33:18,873 YOU KNOW? 802 00:33:18,897 --> 00:33:20,174 YOU KISSED HIM. 803 00:33:20,198 --> 00:33:23,211 DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT'S LIKE FOR ME TO IMAGINE? 804 00:33:23,235 --> 00:33:26,402 THAT ANOTHER GUY'S LIPS WERE ON YOUR LIPS. 805 00:33:28,373 --> 00:33:29,684 WHAT KIND OF KISS WAS THAT? 806 00:33:29,708 --> 00:33:31,252 YOU NEVER EVEN TOLD ME. 807 00:33:31,276 --> 00:33:35,156 LIKE WHERE... WERE HIS HANDS? YOUR HANDS? 808 00:33:35,180 --> 00:33:37,659 STOP IT. STOP IT. WHAT WERE YOU DOING? 809 00:33:37,683 --> 00:33:39,728 REALLY, STOP IT. PULLING HIM CLOSE TO YOU. 810 00:33:39,752 --> 00:33:42,463 YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW? YOU'RE DOING WHAT? 811 00:33:42,487 --> 00:33:45,499 HE LEANED IN... I... SHUT UP! SHUT UP NOW. 812 00:33:45,523 --> 00:33:47,134 STOP ASKING ME ABOUT IT. 813 00:33:47,158 --> 00:33:50,204 HOW DO I KNOW THAT THIS NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE? 814 00:33:50,228 --> 00:33:51,439 BECAUSE I'M TELLING YOU. 815 00:33:51,463 --> 00:33:53,441 SO WHAT'S THAT? 816 00:33:53,465 --> 00:33:55,109 HONESTY'S YOUR STRONGEST PERSONALITY TRAIT RIGHT NOW? 817 00:33:55,133 --> 00:33:57,111 ACTUALLY, YES. 818 00:33:57,135 --> 00:33:58,312 WHAT HAPPENED IN ALBANY? 819 00:33:58,336 --> 00:33:59,647 NOTHING HAPPENED IN ALBANY. 820 00:33:59,671 --> 00:34:01,082 O.K., SAYS YOU. 821 00:34:01,106 --> 00:34:03,284 I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO ALBANY. 822 00:34:03,308 --> 00:34:05,353 I TURNED AROUND AND CAME BACK 823 00:34:05,377 --> 00:34:08,423 BECAUSE I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU. 824 00:34:08,447 --> 00:34:10,458 WELL, I DON'T KNOW, YOU KNOW. I JUST... 825 00:34:10,482 --> 00:34:11,482 I JUST... 826 00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:17,131 I JUST HATE THIS. 827 00:34:17,155 --> 00:34:18,833 WHAT? 828 00:34:18,857 --> 00:34:22,403 I'M GOING TO BE 40, STANDING IN A PARK, 829 00:34:22,427 --> 00:34:24,538 ASKING YOU QUESTIONS LIKE, "WHERE WERE THE GUY'S HANDS?" 830 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:27,508 I MEAN, IT'S JUST SO... 831 00:34:27,532 --> 00:34:31,278 IT'S JUST SO PEDESTRIAN. 832 00:34:31,302 --> 00:34:34,048 WHO SAID WE'RE NOT PEDESTRIAN? 833 00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:35,549 I ALWAYS ASSUMED THAT YOU AND I 834 00:34:35,573 --> 00:34:38,486 WOULD BE IMMUNE TO THIS CRAP. 835 00:34:38,510 --> 00:34:39,943 WELL, WE'RE NOT. 836 00:34:42,180 --> 00:34:44,658 WHEN I STARTED WORKING SO HARD THIS YEAR 837 00:34:44,682 --> 00:34:46,227 AND PUT IN LONGER HOURS... 838 00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:47,595 I ALWAYS SUPPORTED YOU. 839 00:34:47,619 --> 00:34:49,030 YES, YOU DID. 840 00:34:49,054 --> 00:34:51,132 I SAID GO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. 841 00:34:51,156 --> 00:34:52,600 YES, YOU DID. 842 00:34:52,624 --> 00:34:54,201 WHY? I BELIEVED IN, TRUSTED... 843 00:34:54,225 --> 00:34:55,570 NO, BECAUSE YOU LIKED IT. 844 00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:57,805 I LIKED YOU WORKING WITH THIS GUY? 845 00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,874 NO. ME NOT BEING AROUND. 846 00:34:59,898 --> 00:35:02,576 IT WAS O.K. FOR YOU TO NOT BE AROUND. 847 00:35:02,600 --> 00:35:04,145 EVERYTHING WAS EVEN. NOTHING WOULD BE YOUR FAULT. 848 00:35:04,169 --> 00:35:05,713 WHAT WOULDN'T BE MY FAULT? 849 00:35:05,737 --> 00:35:07,481 WHATEVER IS WRONG WITH US... 850 00:35:07,505 --> 00:35:09,083 HOWEVER MUCH WE DRIFT APART, 851 00:35:09,107 --> 00:35:10,384 HOWEVER MUCH WE DON'T TALK. 852 00:35:10,408 --> 00:35:11,953 WHEN DON'T WE TALK? 853 00:35:11,977 --> 00:35:13,855 COME ON. 854 00:35:13,879 --> 00:35:16,323 IN THE LAST THREE MONTHS HOW MANY TIMES 855 00:35:16,347 --> 00:35:17,625 HAVE WE EATEN DINNER TOGETHER? 856 00:35:17,649 --> 00:35:19,593 HOW MANY TIMES 857 00:35:19,617 --> 00:35:21,996 HAVE WE DONE SOMETHING FUN ON A WEEKEND? 858 00:35:22,020 --> 00:35:24,565 WHEN DID WE LAST MAKE LOVE BECAUSE WE WANTED TO, 859 00:35:24,589 --> 00:35:27,568 NOT BECAUSE IT WAS GOOD CLINICAL TIMING? 860 00:35:27,592 --> 00:35:29,070 TELL ME. WHEN? 861 00:35:29,094 --> 00:35:31,306 I DON'T KNOW. 862 00:35:31,330 --> 00:35:34,041 IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF MARRIAGE? 863 00:35:34,065 --> 00:35:37,011 DON'T YOU THINK WE DESERVE BETTER? 864 00:35:37,035 --> 00:35:38,546 FIRST, I DON'T KNOW ANYBODY 865 00:35:38,570 --> 00:35:41,982 WHO TALKS MORE THAN WE DO. I WOULDN'T WANT TO. 866 00:35:42,006 --> 00:35:43,418 WE'RE TALKING, BUT NOBODY IS SAYING 867 00:35:43,442 --> 00:35:45,920 THE NASTY, OLD, UGLY TRUTH. 868 00:35:45,944 --> 00:35:47,354 WHICH IS WHAT? 869 00:35:47,378 --> 00:35:48,678 THIS ISN'T WORKING. 870 00:35:50,482 --> 00:35:53,227 I REACH OUT FOR YOU, YOU'RE NOT THERE. 871 00:35:53,251 --> 00:35:54,795 I'M CERTAINLY NOT THERE FOR YOU. 872 00:35:54,819 --> 00:35:56,331 YOU'VE BEEN WORKING... 873 00:35:56,355 --> 00:35:58,532 I'VE BEEN WORKING. YOU'VE BEEN WORKING. 874 00:35:58,556 --> 00:36:00,134 WE'RE KILLING OURSELVES, 875 00:36:00,158 --> 00:36:01,735 SAVING AND PLANNING, AND FOR WHAT? 876 00:36:01,759 --> 00:36:05,039 FOR THIS BABY THAT'S NOT COMING. 877 00:36:05,063 --> 00:36:07,008 WE'VE BEEN TRYING A YEAR. IT'S NOT HAPPENING. 878 00:36:07,032 --> 00:36:09,610 IS THAT MY FAULT? 879 00:36:09,634 --> 00:36:12,112 NO, IT'S NOT. GOD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? 880 00:36:12,136 --> 00:36:13,047 IT'S LIKE YOU'RE A CHILD. 881 00:36:13,071 --> 00:36:14,281 THANK YOU. 882 00:36:14,305 --> 00:36:17,184 IS THAT WHAT YOU THINK I SAID? 883 00:36:17,208 --> 00:36:19,253 I'M NOT SAYING THAT! 884 00:36:19,277 --> 00:36:21,855 FINE. ALL RIGHT. 885 00:36:21,879 --> 00:36:24,958 IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, IT'S NOT SOMETHING 886 00:36:24,982 --> 00:36:27,027 THAT MAKES ME FEEL PARTICULARLY SWELL, YOU KNOW. 887 00:36:27,051 --> 00:36:29,597 I'M NOT EXACTLY DOING MY JOB IN THAT DEPARTMENT. 888 00:36:29,621 --> 00:36:31,966 YOU WERE TESTED. YOU'RE FINE. 889 00:36:31,990 --> 00:36:33,234 SO WERE YOU. 890 00:36:33,258 --> 00:36:34,702 YEAH, BUT COME ON. 891 00:36:34,726 --> 00:36:36,570 WHAT? 892 00:36:36,594 --> 00:36:38,372 LET'S STOP KIDDING OURSELVES. 893 00:36:38,396 --> 00:36:39,840 IF THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG, IT'S ME. 894 00:36:39,864 --> 00:36:42,109 NO. NO. 895 00:36:42,133 --> 00:36:44,879 LOOK, THE TRUTH IS, YOU CAN ALWAYS HAVE KIDS, 896 00:36:44,903 --> 00:36:46,047 WHEREAS I... 897 00:36:46,071 --> 00:36:47,549 WHAT'S THAT MEAN? IT MEANS WHAT IT MEANS. 898 00:36:47,573 --> 00:36:49,383 YOU CAN HAVE KIDS, SO IF I CAN'T, 899 00:36:49,407 --> 00:36:50,718 THEN, FINE. 900 00:36:50,742 --> 00:36:52,653 ALL RIGHT, FINE. YOU'LL MOVE ON. 901 00:36:52,677 --> 00:36:55,122 MOVE ON? YES, YOU'LL LEAVE... 902 00:36:55,146 --> 00:36:56,190 LEAVE? YOU COULD. 903 00:36:56,214 --> 00:36:57,692 THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK? 904 00:36:57,716 --> 00:36:59,227 IF I WAS IN YOUR PLACE, 905 00:36:59,251 --> 00:37:02,029 AND IT'S MY ONE CHANCE TO FATHER A CHILD... 906 00:37:02,053 --> 00:37:03,752 WELL, THEN SHAME ON YOU! 907 00:37:05,157 --> 00:37:07,869 SHAME ON YOU IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK OF ME, 908 00:37:07,893 --> 00:37:10,939 THAT I WOULD LEAVE YOU? 909 00:37:10,963 --> 00:37:12,507 I'M NOT SAYING YOU WILL. 910 00:37:12,531 --> 00:37:14,542 NO, BUT IF I DO, IN CASE I DO, 911 00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:15,543 YOU GO FIND ANOTHER GUY, 912 00:37:15,567 --> 00:37:17,266 AND WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE ME FIRST? 913 00:37:19,538 --> 00:37:20,804 MAYBE. 914 00:37:26,477 --> 00:37:28,744 HOW CAN YOU DOUBT MY LOVE FOR YOU? 915 00:37:31,116 --> 00:37:32,276 BECAUSE I DO. 916 00:37:39,658 --> 00:37:42,303 WELL, THEN, YOU KNOW WHAT? 917 00:37:42,327 --> 00:37:44,271 YOU WILL NEVER GET IT. 918 00:37:44,295 --> 00:37:45,472 WHAT? 919 00:37:45,496 --> 00:37:46,662 YOU JUST... 920 00:37:49,134 --> 00:37:53,014 IF YOU CAN'T HAVE KIDS, I CAN'T HAVE KIDS. 921 00:37:53,038 --> 00:37:55,871 WHATEVER HAPPENS TO YOU HAPPENS TO ME. 922 00:37:57,108 --> 00:37:58,152 WHATEVER HAPPENS HAPPENS TO US. 923 00:37:58,176 --> 00:38:01,855 DO YOU NOT GET THAT BY NOW? 924 00:38:01,879 --> 00:38:04,280 I THOUGHT I DID. 925 00:38:07,652 --> 00:38:09,964 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO BE A BETTER HUSBAND. 926 00:38:09,988 --> 00:38:11,832 I REALLY DON'T, 927 00:38:11,856 --> 00:38:15,169 AND I THINK I'M PRETTY DAMN GOOD. 928 00:38:15,193 --> 00:38:16,237 YOU ARE. 929 00:38:16,261 --> 00:38:17,838 THANK YOU. 930 00:38:17,862 --> 00:38:20,174 AND... SO AM I. 931 00:38:20,198 --> 00:38:21,642 YES, YOU ARE. YES, OF COURSE. 932 00:38:21,666 --> 00:38:24,200 I THINK WE'RE BOTH PRETTY DAMN GOOD. 933 00:38:28,506 --> 00:38:30,740 AND YET, NOBODY HERE IS HAPPY. 934 00:38:40,585 --> 00:38:41,851 I TOLD YOU. 935 00:38:45,490 --> 00:38:46,500 WHAT? 936 00:38:46,524 --> 00:38:49,570 I TOLD YOU WHEN I MET YOU. 937 00:38:49,594 --> 00:38:52,606 TWO PEOPLE... TOGETHER FOREVER... 938 00:38:52,630 --> 00:38:54,708 IT'S NOT REALISTIC. I THINK IT'S... 939 00:38:54,732 --> 00:38:56,532 I THINK IT'S TOO HARD. 940 00:38:58,169 --> 00:38:59,546 YES, IT IS. 941 00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:01,281 [BREATHES DEEPLY] 942 00:39:01,305 --> 00:39:03,351 YES, IT IS. 943 00:39:03,375 --> 00:39:05,653 SO MAYBE THIS IS IT. 944 00:39:05,677 --> 00:39:08,522 WE GAVE IT OUR BEST SHOT. 945 00:39:08,546 --> 00:39:12,559 THIS IS AS FAR AS WE GOT. 946 00:39:12,583 --> 00:39:14,684 IT'S A LOT FARTHER THAN MOST PEOPLE GET, YOU KNOW. 947 00:39:17,555 --> 00:39:18,595 MAYBE. 948 00:39:23,495 --> 00:39:24,660 REALLY? 949 00:39:27,032 --> 00:39:30,472 I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO BETTER THAN THIS. 950 00:39:35,206 --> 00:39:36,739 SO... 951 00:39:40,111 --> 00:39:41,711 SEW BUTTONS. 952 00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:54,702 UM, WOULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR, AND... 953 00:39:54,726 --> 00:39:56,737 WOULD YOU TELL YOUR SISTER THAT I'M SORRY? 954 00:39:56,761 --> 00:39:58,762 I... I DON'T... O.K. 955 00:43:52,296 --> 00:43:53,863 AM I DREAMING? 956 00:44:03,007 --> 00:44:06,520 I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY JUST SO SORRY. 957 00:44:06,544 --> 00:44:07,922 YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SORRY. 958 00:44:07,946 --> 00:44:09,311 I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO BE SORRY. 959 00:44:11,415 --> 00:44:13,594 I JUST WANT YOU. 960 00:44:13,618 --> 00:44:15,118 I LOVE YOU. 961 00:44:18,089 --> 00:44:19,822 I JUST LOVE YOU. 962 00:44:24,762 --> 00:44:26,840 I DON'T CARE HOW HARD IT IS. 963 00:44:26,864 --> 00:44:29,343 I DON'T, EITHER. 964 00:44:29,367 --> 00:44:30,378 I JUST REALLY... I LOVE YOU... 965 00:44:30,402 --> 00:44:32,668 IS THE THING. 966 00:45:16,380 --> 00:45:17,980 [TIMER TICKING] 967 00:45:24,254 --> 00:45:25,320 [DING] 64797

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