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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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Okay, roll up like a ball.
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00:00:27,427 --> 00:00:30,130
- Yeah.
- This feels super comfortable.
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Make space for the baby.
5
00:00:50,117 --> 00:00:51,385
Oh, it's heavy.
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You wanna really remember
that the baby
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is coming out of your vagina
and not your face.
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Like, imagine you're
sitting on the toilet
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and you're taking a big poop.
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You're face is usually like...
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You might be
making some tension,
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but you're really focusing in
down on your bottom.
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- Mhm, yeah.
- Right?
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Next time you pee,
just notice what you're doing
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with your face.
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Is this my pee face?
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So, clue me in.
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00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:01,723
Tell me a little bit
about how you're feeling.
19
00:02:01,756 --> 00:02:03,256
Like, how's everything going?
20
00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:04,826
How's it all?
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00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:07,160
I think pretty good.
22
00:02:07,194 --> 00:02:08,529
Um.
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00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,567
I'm hormonal.
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- Mhm.
- I do feel like...
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00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:19,473
Do you have something to say?
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00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:22,476
We... we had kind of
a Defcon 3 meltdown
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00:02:22,510 --> 00:02:24,344
in Target the other day.
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00:02:24,378 --> 00:02:26,313
- It was about car seats.
- Yeah.
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00:02:26,346 --> 00:02:28,348
We read all this stuff online,
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00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:31,485
all the safety things,
all the recommendations,
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00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:33,521
and...
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and I had a friend say,
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"You know, this one's great
'cause it's the lightest one."
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The Chicco that goes...
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- Yeah.
- That's, yeah, interchangeable.
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00:02:43,898 --> 00:02:45,566
- Yeah.
- But, once we get there,
37
00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:48,435
I saw it was also
the cheapest one,
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00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:52,707
and then that made me
so uncomfortable,
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00:02:52,740 --> 00:02:54,942
'cause then I didn't trust it,
and then I, like...
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00:02:54,976 --> 00:02:58,445
I felt like a shitty mom
for going to buy
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00:02:58,478 --> 00:03:02,482
the cheapest car seat
'cause it was the lightest one,
42
00:03:02,517 --> 00:03:03,985
and it was the one
that was recommended to me,
43
00:03:04,018 --> 00:03:06,821
but it wasn't
the highest rated one.
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00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,388
Hm.
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00:03:09,724 --> 00:03:11,859
I, like, totally lost it.
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00:03:11,893 --> 00:03:13,861
We didn't wind up
with that car seat.
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00:03:13,895 --> 00:03:15,763
- Okay.
- Um.
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00:03:15,797 --> 00:03:17,532
And... and we've never
done this before,
49
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:20,768
so we don't know what...
what the right thing to do is.
50
00:03:20,802 --> 00:03:22,469
We don't know
what the right way to go is.
51
00:03:22,503 --> 00:03:24,906
But, I mean,
I know that my tendency
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00:03:24,939 --> 00:03:28,943
is to... you know,
I get anxious about this stuff,
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00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,578
- and...
- Yeah.
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00:03:30,611 --> 00:03:33,681
And then, I try
to mitigate my anxiousness
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- with control, and...
- And when he gets,
56
00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,686
like, high tense
and controlling about stuff,
57
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:41,321
then I start
to just take care of him,
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00:03:41,354 --> 00:03:43,758
and I totally throw myself
out the window...
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00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,893
Right, she's trying
to take care of me,
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00:03:45,927 --> 00:03:49,731
and controlling the situation,
which... which pisses me off,
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00:03:49,764 --> 00:03:52,332
because we just keep
triggering each other, and...
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00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:53,968
Like, we've always,
you know, kinda sometimes
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00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:55,803
we just get into
a cycle of, like,
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00:03:55,837 --> 00:03:58,371
- Caretaking, controlling...
- Caretaking, controlling.
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00:03:58,405 --> 00:04:00,007
But, I would say it's like
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00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:03,276
- mm, mm, mm, because of that.
- It's on steroids.
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00:04:03,310 --> 00:04:05,312
So, why don't you just
take a deep breath?
68
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:06,781
Okay.
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00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,520
Now, close your eyes
for a second,
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00:04:12,553 --> 00:04:15,288
both of you,
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00:04:15,322 --> 00:04:17,925
and I want you
to think about is,
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00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:20,061
what do you need most
from each other
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00:04:20,094 --> 00:04:22,964
to get through the rest
of this pregnancy?
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00:04:22,997 --> 00:04:26,834
And how can you
best show up for each other
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00:04:26,868 --> 00:04:30,303
and make sure that
those needs get met?
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00:04:53,928 --> 00:04:55,428
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
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00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,532
- Bye.
- Bye.
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00:04:57,565 --> 00:04:59,033
Okay.
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00:05:01,869 --> 00:05:05,338
Oh, don't forget, oxytocin.
80
00:05:05,372 --> 00:05:08,375
At least one orgasm a day, okay?
81
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:10,645
One orgasm every day.
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00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:11,879
- Just one.
- For both of us?
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00:05:11,913 --> 00:05:14,381
- More her, you...
- It's my oxytocin.
84
00:05:14,414 --> 00:05:16,050
- It's hers.
- It's my oxytocin, too.
85
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:17,585
- One.
- Bye.
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00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,419
Bye.
87
00:05:32,066 --> 00:05:34,434
- These kinda go together.
- I like this one.
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00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:35,770
His and her?
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00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:37,138
These are for us to wear, right?
90
00:05:37,171 --> 00:05:38,806
Yeah.
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00:05:48,082 --> 00:05:49,750
You don't have to watch us open,
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00:05:49,784 --> 00:05:52,854
especially if you got us
a shitty gift,
93
00:05:52,887 --> 00:05:54,789
but if you want to,
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00:05:54,822 --> 00:05:57,058
we're gonna be determining
which ones of you
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00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:59,560
are our close friends,
and which ones of you
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00:05:59,594 --> 00:06:01,596
are expendable, so.
97
00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:03,731
- Ohh.
- Ohh.
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00:06:08,736 --> 00:06:10,638
- Oh, my God, it's the Chicco!
- Oh, man.
99
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:13,808
- That's cool.
- Oh, my God, it's a car seat.
100
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:16,077
It's a good one, it's light,
it's not too heavy,
101
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,912
so you can pop it out,
and I'll teach you
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00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,014
a little trick for how to,
like, loop your arm under,
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00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:22,482
- and it makes it easier to...
- It's a huge gift.
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00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:25,086
- Kids do well with it, and...
- So, yeah, and the breastfeed,
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00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:28,556
it, like, really hurts
for a long time.
106
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,092
Oh, my gosh, she talked about
the latch-on like it was so hard
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00:06:31,125 --> 00:06:32,593
for new Rudi be able
to latch on,
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00:06:32,627 --> 00:06:34,061
and she just, like,
"Near, near near,"
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00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:36,429
like a little gremlin,
just biting and trying to,
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00:06:36,463 --> 00:06:40,433
like, suck you dry
of every little ounce of life
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00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,069
- in your soul.
- The only part of it
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00:06:42,103 --> 00:06:44,005
that is cute is, like,
your friend who, like,
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00:06:44,038 --> 00:06:47,440
posts a beautiful photo of her
breastfeeding on social media.
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00:06:49,143 --> 00:06:51,045
It's like, "Uh-huh, okay."
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00:06:51,078 --> 00:06:52,947
- Nature at its best.
- I've got, like, the cracked,
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00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,682
bleeding nipples,
and you're just like,
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00:06:54,715 --> 00:06:56,117
"Fuck you."
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00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,185
It's cute, it's cute.
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00:06:58,219 --> 00:07:00,453
Well, that's the thing,
and I feel like women,
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00:07:00,487 --> 00:07:02,890
and correct me if I'm...
if I'm speaking out of turn,
121
00:07:02,924 --> 00:07:06,560
but I feel like women
do other women a real disservice
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00:07:06,594 --> 00:07:08,495
when they talk about
their birth experience,
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00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:10,564
like, "Oh, my God,
it was so wonderful."
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00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:13,668
I think that that's
a really messed up thing to do
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00:07:13,701 --> 00:07:15,636
to somebody who's about to
go into childbirth,
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00:07:15,670 --> 00:07:18,606
'cause you should prepared
that it's gonna be
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00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:21,742
the worst thing ever.
128
00:07:21,776 --> 00:07:26,247
It is, sometimes it just tears
all the way down.
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00:07:26,280 --> 00:07:28,082
But, that's just the beginning,
130
00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,651
and that's gonna be, like,
one to two days tops of...
131
00:07:30,685 --> 00:07:33,888
of your life,
and then it really... begins
132
00:07:33,921 --> 00:07:36,524
- to like...
- Do you guys have a method
133
00:07:36,557 --> 00:07:39,160
- that, like, you're in?
- Your, um, parenting method.
134
00:07:39,193 --> 00:07:42,697
So, we've been doing, um...
been doing these RIE classes.
135
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:45,099
- Uh-oh.
- Which are pretty cool.
136
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:47,001
- Yeah.
- Read the Janet Lansbury books,
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00:07:47,034 --> 00:07:49,170
- which are fantastic.
- And Babywise.
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00:07:49,203 --> 00:07:50,738
- Babywise.
- To get around
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00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,773
our sleep schedules,
so like, we know when
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00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,809
her cry phase will be, and...
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00:07:54,842 --> 00:07:57,011
I think picking and choosing
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00:07:57,044 --> 00:07:59,046
different pieces
from different books
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00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,649
is totally fine, that's great.
144
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:02,850
But, you have to decide, like,
145
00:08:02,883 --> 00:08:04,151
"Are we gonna have
a family bed?"
146
00:08:04,185 --> 00:08:06,153
Like, is she gonna
sleep with you guys.
147
00:08:06,187 --> 00:08:07,888
- That's what we did.
- We did not do that.
148
00:08:07,922 --> 00:08:10,791
We had her sleeping with us
until she was, like, 5?
149
00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:12,693
- Yeah, about 5 years old.
- Were you guys just
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00:08:12,727 --> 00:08:14,095
afraid of, like, crib death,
is that why you...?
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00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:15,663
- Yeah, that was...
- Well, that was one of
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00:08:15,696 --> 00:08:17,565
the big things, of course,
it's crib death.
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00:08:17,598 --> 00:08:19,100
We wanted to
keep her close to us.
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00:08:19,133 --> 00:08:21,602
But, I mean, she is a girl,
so I mean,
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00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:24,138
it's not that high crib deaths
for... for girls baby...
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00:08:24,171 --> 00:08:26,741
You keep saying "crib death"
like that's a thing to...
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00:08:26,774 --> 00:08:28,209
- It's... it's a thing.
- Well, yeah, it is.
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00:08:30,277 --> 00:08:32,613
It's... for a while it's hell,
so just be prepared
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00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,248
- that it's gonna be...
- You don't get a lot of sleep
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00:08:34,281 --> 00:08:36,050
- at all.
- As soon as they're born,
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00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:38,052
you will no longer do anything
that you enjoy, because...
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00:08:38,085 --> 00:08:40,154
Your baby dictates
who you will become.
163
00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:42,256
You don't get to
be yourselves anymore,
164
00:08:42,289 --> 00:08:44,759
'cause you're so tired,
and so focused
165
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:47,695
on making sure that you're not
ruining this kid's life,
166
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,330
and you're trying to make sure
that you're doing it
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00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,132
in a healthy way,
in a productive way,
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00:08:51,165 --> 00:08:52,666
in a happy way.
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00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,068
You're not gonna repeat
your parents' mistakes,
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00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:55,669
you're not gonna
do the wrong things,
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00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,304
- and you do.
- Yep.
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00:08:57,338 --> 00:09:00,141
- You just do.
- Watching my parents
173
00:09:00,174 --> 00:09:02,143
deteriorate in front
of my eyes as a child,
174
00:09:02,176 --> 00:09:04,945
and not really understand
what it was,
175
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:07,014
I feel like you can
see them shrinking from
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00:09:07,048 --> 00:09:08,816
- who they wanted to be.
- You're basically
177
00:09:08,849 --> 00:09:10,351
- getting thrown into war.
- You don't have time
178
00:09:10,384 --> 00:09:11,886
for yourself, you just don't,
like...
179
00:09:11,919 --> 00:09:13,754
My mother didn't wanna
become her mother.
180
00:09:13,788 --> 00:09:15,322
Her mother didn't wanna
become her mother.
181
00:09:15,356 --> 00:09:18,759
- My sister didn't wanna become...
- And you see it, you know it,
182
00:09:18,793 --> 00:09:20,194
you hate it,
183
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:22,329
- but you can't stop...
- My dad had his money in order,
184
00:09:22,363 --> 00:09:24,065
had, you know,
a record collection,
185
00:09:24,098 --> 00:09:25,332
all this cool stuff.
186
00:09:25,366 --> 00:09:27,068
He had a car
that he really liked,
187
00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:29,603
he cared about his fucking car,
and then at a certain point,
188
00:09:29,637 --> 00:09:31,238
everything was annihilated.
189
00:09:31,272 --> 00:09:33,340
I saw that happen, I saw a man
190
00:09:33,374 --> 00:09:36,377
deteriorate in front of my eyes
as a teenager.
191
00:09:36,410 --> 00:09:38,012
I... it was a nightmare.
192
00:09:38,045 --> 00:09:40,014
I can't... I couldn't do it.
193
00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:43,217
But, you guys
are gonna kill it, I...
194
00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:48,289
Yeah.
195
00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:51,025
Babe, babe, can you...
196
00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:52,960
can you please tell me what's...?
197
00:09:52,993 --> 00:09:55,196
Jackie.
198
00:09:55,229 --> 00:09:57,832
Can you... can you just stop
for a second?
199
00:09:59,867 --> 00:10:01,669
Babe,
200
00:10:01,702 --> 00:10:04,638
can you look at me
and talk to me, please?
201
00:10:08,042 --> 00:10:10,811
Babe.
202
00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,185
What the fuck is this?
203
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,222
Hummus.
204
00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:29,930
Did you not see this one?
205
00:10:29,964 --> 00:10:31,799
- I...
- I got this one two days ago.
206
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:33,200
- I didn't... I didn't see that.
- It's huge.
207
00:10:33,234 --> 00:10:35,102
Okay, I didn't see that,
but I don't think
208
00:10:35,136 --> 00:10:38,072
- it's a big deal, can we not...?
- Now, we're just never gonna
209
00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:40,007
get through both of these
before they go bad.
210
00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,443
- Oh, okay, but...
- This one's huge.
211
00:10:42,476 --> 00:10:44,145
I... I didn't see it,
I didn't look.
212
00:10:44,178 --> 00:10:46,280
I was also... you gave me
the list with the bok choy
213
00:10:46,313 --> 00:10:47,815
- and the tamarind.
- Yeah, I gave you a list.
214
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,717
I was just trying
to do a nice thing.
215
00:10:49,750 --> 00:10:51,952
I'm just asking you
to do an aware thing.
216
00:10:51,986 --> 00:10:54,722
Look, we've...
we've already eaten some.
217
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,690
Look, there's already
that much out...
218
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:59,260
You're making that up,
you're, like, making that up
219
00:10:59,293 --> 00:11:00,761
- to make your argument stronger.
- Okay.
220
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,164
The seal is still on it.
221
00:11:03,197 --> 00:11:05,366
Okay, okay,
so the seal's still on it,
222
00:11:05,399 --> 00:11:07,434
- but... but the way they pack...
- Why would you lie to me
223
00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:08,869
and be like,
"We already ate some"?
224
00:11:08,903 --> 00:11:10,371
I mean, look,
it's not that full.
225
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:11,839
- It's like a potato chip...
- You actually think we're gonna
226
00:11:11,872 --> 00:11:14,175
eat all of this
before this one...
227
00:11:14,208 --> 00:11:15,943
- Yes!
- ...goes bad?
228
00:11:15,976 --> 00:11:18,913
- We eat a lot of hummus.
- We would never eat this much.
229
00:11:18,946 --> 00:11:20,314
- We've definitely eaten...
- When?
230
00:11:20,347 --> 00:11:22,149
- When? When?
- two things of hummus in a week.
231
00:11:22,183 --> 00:11:24,818
Okay, this is not... do you hear
yourself talking right now?
232
00:11:24,852 --> 00:11:27,154
Do you hear yourself talking?
You're, like, making shit up
233
00:11:27,188 --> 00:11:29,857
- about the stuff we do!
- Would you fucking stop?
234
00:11:32,126 --> 00:11:33,961
I'm sorry,
I didn't mean to yell.
235
00:11:33,994 --> 00:11:35,329
Would you just stop?
236
00:11:35,362 --> 00:11:37,031
Because you're getting
really stressed out,
237
00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:39,266
and the OB said
you can't get stressed out.
238
00:11:39,300 --> 00:11:42,369
Babe, please don't cry.
239
00:11:42,403 --> 00:11:44,238
I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
240
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:46,073
Look, this was all my fault.
241
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,908
I should've absolutely seen
242
00:11:47,942 --> 00:11:49,511
that you bought hummus
two days ago.
243
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:52,012
I was trying to do a nice thing,
but you're right, it was stupid.
244
00:11:52,046 --> 00:11:53,781
It wasn't a nice thing.
245
00:11:53,814 --> 00:11:55,382
It was a stupid
and oblivious thing,
246
00:11:55,416 --> 00:11:58,819
and, hey, stop, stop,
please, please, please?
247
00:11:58,852 --> 00:12:01,021
Babe,
248
00:12:01,055 --> 00:12:03,023
I'm really sorry.
249
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,361
Hey.
250
00:12:13,367 --> 00:12:14,935
Ew.
251
00:12:14,969 --> 00:12:18,372
Why did you just
put your hand in it?
252
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:21,543
If having too much hummus
is an issue,
253
00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:25,379
then I'm gonna
take care of the issue.
254
00:12:25,412 --> 00:12:27,381
Whether it makes sense
to me or not.
255
00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:30,184
It looks...
you're not enjoying it.
256
00:12:30,217 --> 00:12:33,954
This is the best hummus
I've ever had.
257
00:12:35,422 --> 00:12:37,091
I love this hummus so much.
258
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,560
Oh, my gosh, I mean...
259
00:12:38,593 --> 00:12:40,928
- Ugh, the smell.
- This is fun.
260
00:12:40,961 --> 00:12:42,196
The smell, please stop.
261
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:43,931
Please stop putting it
in your mouth,
262
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,399
- stop putting it in your mouth.
- And I'm gonna eat that one
263
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,468
- after I'm done with this.
- No.
264
00:12:47,502 --> 00:12:48,936
- No.
- And we're not gonna
265
00:12:48,969 --> 00:12:50,471
have enough, are we?
And we're gonna have to
266
00:12:50,505 --> 00:12:52,339
go shopping for more hummus
later on this afternoon.
267
00:12:52,373 --> 00:12:54,542
- Don't you fucking dare.
- 'Cause I'm gonna be
268
00:12:54,576 --> 00:12:56,844
a hummus-eating machine.
269
00:12:56,877 --> 00:12:58,379
Don't put it in your mouth,
it's so...
270
00:12:58,412 --> 00:13:00,247
Ugh!
271
00:13:01,616 --> 00:13:03,917
Oh, God, sorry, that's so gross.
272
00:13:03,951 --> 00:13:06,253
- I just wanna establish that...
- Oh, God.
273
00:13:07,988 --> 00:13:11,526
In this case, your concern
274
00:13:11,559 --> 00:13:14,962
about our... our hummus overage,
275
00:13:14,995 --> 00:13:17,131
um,
might've just been rectified,
276
00:13:17,164 --> 00:13:18,999
'cause look, look,
that one's half gone.
277
00:13:19,033 --> 00:13:21,001
- It's half gone.
- And here's a vow
278
00:13:21,035 --> 00:13:23,871
that I make to you:
279
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:28,008
I will never, ever, ever
280
00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:29,943
buy too much hummus again.
281
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,912
- Never.
- Never.
282
00:13:31,945 --> 00:13:34,616
I really appreciate that.
283
00:13:39,053 --> 00:13:41,455
There are gonna be times when
I probably want more hummus.
284
00:13:41,488 --> 00:13:44,124
If you ask me to buy you hummus,
I'll go out and buy you hummus
285
00:13:44,158 --> 00:13:46,293
that minute.
286
00:13:47,928 --> 00:13:49,564
Hm?
287
00:13:56,270 --> 00:13:57,871
- Oh, God.
- Mm.
288
00:13:57,905 --> 00:13:59,239
- It's smelling.
- Mm.
289
00:13:59,273 --> 00:14:00,974
- It's smelling.
- Mm.
290
00:14:01,008 --> 00:14:02,644
- Mm.
- Mm.
291
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:07,214
What are you doing?
292
00:14:07,247 --> 00:14:09,850
Maya said, "Once a day."
293
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,053
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
294
00:14:13,087 --> 00:14:14,288
- What?
- Do you still have
295
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:16,056
hummus in your mouth?
296
00:14:16,090 --> 00:14:17,891
- No, I swallowed the hummus.
- I think there's probably
297
00:14:17,925 --> 00:14:20,160
- still some there.
- No, I think I...
298
00:14:20,194 --> 00:14:21,962
- Yeah, but...
- I think I swallowed it.
299
00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,566
I can smell it still, so.
300
00:14:24,599 --> 00:14:26,300
What if you...?
No, it's so...
301
00:14:26,333 --> 00:14:28,603
I'm super turned on,
but if you, like,
302
00:14:28,636 --> 00:14:31,506
maybe just
brush your teeth, or...?
303
00:14:31,539 --> 00:14:33,140
- 'Cause of bacteria.
- Okay.
304
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,075
I could go for it, but it...
it's the bacteria
305
00:14:35,109 --> 00:14:37,044
- and the baby.
- Okay, yeah.
306
00:14:37,077 --> 00:14:38,613
I'll go brush my teeth.
307
00:14:38,646 --> 00:14:41,516
And then, I'm gonna be...
308
00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,084
I'll meet you upstairs.
309
00:14:44,118 --> 00:14:45,653
Thank you.
310
00:14:57,331 --> 00:15:00,334
You're right,
it was the whole day.
311
00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,202
It was the whole day.
312
00:15:02,236 --> 00:15:04,606
- I know.
- Our friends...
313
00:15:04,639 --> 00:15:07,174
- suck.
- I know, our friends suck.
314
00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,644
They were so discouraging.
315
00:15:12,246 --> 00:15:14,214
It's still a little...
I still smell it.
316
00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:17,017
- You're such a dick.
- I'm a super smeller.
317
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:20,454
Who brings up crib death
318
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:22,222
at our baby shower?
319
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,191
Mhm, I know.
320
00:15:24,224 --> 00:15:27,194
- Who does that?
- I know.
321
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:30,030
They said my vagina
322
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:33,467
is gonna rip down.
323
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,603
To your asshole.
324
00:15:35,637 --> 00:15:37,304
I don't mean to laugh,
because I know
325
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,206
- that would really suck.
- Apparently it happens
326
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:41,108
- all the time.
- I am just laughing
327
00:15:41,141 --> 00:15:44,111
at the severe insensitivity
of our asshole friends
328
00:15:44,144 --> 00:15:45,979
that they would bring it up
at our fucking baby shower.
329
00:15:46,013 --> 00:15:49,283
I truly don't think
they want us to be parents.
330
00:15:49,316 --> 00:15:52,119
What, you think they want us
to have an abortion?
331
00:15:52,152 --> 00:15:54,221
Third-term abortion.
332
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,623
I do.
333
00:15:55,657 --> 00:15:57,057
- Oh, that's so dark.
- I do, I think they were trying
334
00:15:57,090 --> 00:15:58,358
- to convince us...
- That's so dark
335
00:15:58,392 --> 00:16:00,294
to go into the OB, be like,
336
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:03,197
"Um, here's the thing:
we know we were
337
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:05,767
- really excited...
- "We were, we were excited."
338
00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:08,001
...about having this kid, but..."
339
00:16:08,035 --> 00:16:10,270
"But, we had a...
we had a baby shower."
340
00:16:10,304 --> 00:16:12,740
"And our friends
really fucked us up,
341
00:16:12,774 --> 00:16:15,710
and now we're wondering
if you could
342
00:16:15,743 --> 00:16:18,513
take her out, and just, like,
343
00:16:18,546 --> 00:16:20,113
- get rid of her."
- You need to kiss her
344
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,684
after this joke,
this joke is too bad.
345
00:16:22,717 --> 00:16:25,052
- Baby, it's really dark and...
- Baby.
346
00:16:25,085 --> 00:16:28,422
Dark, bad jokes
for a dark, bad baby shower.
347
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,059
But, they were so serious
348
00:16:32,092 --> 00:16:36,029
about... turning out
like their parents.
349
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:38,098
I know, but you know what?
350
00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:39,534
And it's true.
351
00:16:39,567 --> 00:16:41,803
- But, you know what?
- They have.
352
00:16:41,836 --> 00:16:45,339
But, in fairness, B's always
been a living nightmare, and...
353
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:47,407
But now,
she's exactly like her mom.
354
00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:50,477
Hey, babe, it's okay.
355
00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:53,080
- You know why?
- Why?
356
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,783
'Cause we're cooler
than they are.
357
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:00,755
Come on, take your pants off,
come to bed.
358
00:17:02,590 --> 00:17:05,425
Fuck.
359
00:17:05,459 --> 00:17:07,227
Honey,
360
00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:09,764
I have to tell you something
before I take my pants off.
361
00:17:09,797 --> 00:17:12,099
No, take your pants off,
then you can tell me something.
362
00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,301
- That's so bad.
- No, can you just
363
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,571
take your pants off first,
and then you can
364
00:17:16,604 --> 00:17:18,405
tell me something
if you have to?
365
00:17:20,675 --> 00:17:23,443
Take your pants off.
366
00:17:23,477 --> 00:17:26,413
I got a text from my dad
at the baby shower.
367
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,419
I'm so sorry.
368
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:34,321
Ugh.
369
00:17:34,354 --> 00:17:35,823
- No.
- He said he was gonna
370
00:17:35,857 --> 00:17:37,457
be evicted.
371
00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:40,127
No.
372
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:41,596
Um, I know.
373
00:17:43,698 --> 00:17:46,534
- I know, honey, I know...
- How much did you send him?
374
00:17:49,202 --> 00:17:50,772
2,000.
375
00:17:52,507 --> 00:17:54,842
I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
376
00:17:59,479 --> 00:18:00,882
Woo.
377
00:18:00,915 --> 00:18:04,384
Babe, your dad is always
about to be evicted,
378
00:18:04,418 --> 00:18:06,688
because your dad
is a fucking drug addict
379
00:18:06,721 --> 00:18:08,856
who spends
all his money on oxys.
380
00:18:08,890 --> 00:18:10,525
You swore.
381
00:18:10,558 --> 00:18:12,326
- You swore to God...
- I know, I did.
382
00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,461
...the last four times,
not just, like,
383
00:18:14,494 --> 00:18:15,830
the last time it happened.
384
00:18:15,863 --> 00:18:18,600
The last four times it happened
you swore to me
385
00:18:18,633 --> 00:18:19,867
- that you'd never do it again.
- I did.
386
00:18:19,901 --> 00:18:21,603
- You swore to your sponsor.
- I did.
387
00:18:21,636 --> 00:18:23,638
You swore to our therapist.
388
00:18:23,671 --> 00:18:25,205
- I did.
- We sat down
389
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:26,874
and we had this discussion,
and you said,
390
00:18:26,908 --> 00:18:28,643
- "I'm never gonna do it again."
- I know.
391
00:18:28,676 --> 00:18:31,546
That's the fucking kid's money
that you just gave him.
392
00:18:31,579 --> 00:18:33,548
You are so, so right,
393
00:18:33,581 --> 00:18:36,383
and I know you're so, so right.
394
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:38,352
Can you... can you not
turn this into, like,
395
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:41,388
"You're so right,"
self-flagellation stuff?
396
00:18:41,421 --> 00:18:44,759
Can you just let me be
really pissed for a second?
397
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:47,294
Yes.
398
00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,931
Thank you.
399
00:18:49,964 --> 00:18:53,233
Okay, that's all I needed.
400
00:18:55,268 --> 00:18:57,337
- Oh, man.
- It's not fair.
401
00:18:57,371 --> 00:19:00,240
- That's a bummer.
- It's such a bummer.
402
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:02,744
It was just habit,
but I know I...
403
00:19:02,777 --> 00:19:05,345
I can't, I gotta change.
404
00:19:05,379 --> 00:19:08,716
Well, we both have...
look, I just...
405
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:11,485
I just... my first reaction
when I was upset
406
00:19:11,519 --> 00:19:13,487
- was to, like, do that.
- It's very scary.
407
00:19:13,521 --> 00:19:15,455
And... and I don't...
408
00:19:15,489 --> 00:19:18,926
I mean, how many
fucking hundreds of hours
409
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:20,561
in therapy have I spent
410
00:19:20,595 --> 00:19:22,396
trying to work through
my rage issues.
411
00:19:22,429 --> 00:19:24,599
- There's still...
- A hole.
412
00:19:24,632 --> 00:19:26,834
The hole in the sheetrock
413
00:19:26,868 --> 00:19:29,904
from... from, like,
a month and a half ago,
414
00:19:29,937 --> 00:19:31,506
and that's insane.
415
00:19:31,539 --> 00:19:34,207
It's like,
416
00:19:34,241 --> 00:19:37,477
if we don't
pull our shit together,
417
00:19:37,512 --> 00:19:39,714
- she's gonna...
- We're gonna fuck up our kid.
418
00:19:41,916 --> 00:19:43,483
Mm.
419
00:19:43,518 --> 00:19:45,653
Like, we signed up
for each other's madness.
420
00:19:45,687 --> 00:19:48,656
- I know.
- She didn't sign up for it.
421
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:51,391
I know, it makes me
really sad actually.
422
00:19:51,425 --> 00:19:54,862
The therapy has made us aware.
423
00:19:54,896 --> 00:19:57,364
- Mhm.
- But, clearly...
424
00:19:57,397 --> 00:19:59,466
Hasn't actually changed
425
00:19:59,499 --> 00:20:02,335
our behavior enough.
426
00:20:02,369 --> 00:20:05,640
It's like we need to,
like, shake ourselves,
427
00:20:05,673 --> 00:20:08,710
'cause we gotta pull it together
before we're parents.
428
00:20:08,743 --> 00:20:11,846
And I'm scared, too,
because we've got
429
00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:14,782
- a month.
- What if we shake it up?
430
00:20:14,816 --> 00:20:16,617
What if we challenge each other?
431
00:20:16,651 --> 00:20:18,553
What if we challenge
each other to, like,
432
00:20:18,586 --> 00:20:20,655
activities and tasks?
Like, we have a month...
433
00:20:20,688 --> 00:20:22,857
- I like this.
- ...before this baby is coming.
434
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,458
- That is time.
- We got...
435
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:25,760
- We got four weeks...
- It's a short amount.
436
00:20:25,793 --> 00:20:29,429
to become fully realized humans.
437
00:20:33,333 --> 00:20:36,537
To be parents.
438
00:20:36,571 --> 00:20:38,740
- Okay, so we got four weeks.
- Let's do something.
439
00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:40,407
- Let's do it, let's do it.
- Let's do it, let's change.
440
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,809
Let's do it.
441
00:20:41,843 --> 00:20:43,745
- What are we gonna do?
- More... let's, like...
442
00:20:43,778 --> 00:20:45,345
Let's jump out of an airplane.
443
00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:47,582
- Dine and dash.
- Dine and dash, I'm in.
444
00:20:47,615 --> 00:20:49,349
- I'm in, let's do it.
- I mean, just to get ourselves,
445
00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:51,284
- like, uncomfortable...
- Okay.
446
00:20:51,318 --> 00:20:53,721
...and, like...
and see what we're made of.
447
00:20:53,755 --> 00:20:55,623
We could, uh...
448
00:20:55,656 --> 00:20:58,860
we could buy a classic car
and drive it up the coast.
449
00:20:58,893 --> 00:21:00,762
Like, we go to Antarctica.
450
00:21:00,795 --> 00:21:03,598
Great, we dive under an icecap,
451
00:21:03,631 --> 00:21:06,333
and swim around,
and we come up, and woo!
452
00:21:06,366 --> 00:21:08,703
- Yeah, yeah!
- Yeah, yeah!
453
00:21:08,736 --> 00:21:10,738
We could jump off a cliff
into the ocean.
454
00:21:10,772 --> 00:21:13,841
- Um, we could swim with sharks.
- We could graffiti something.
455
00:21:13,875 --> 00:21:15,510
Uh, we could get tattoos.
456
00:21:15,543 --> 00:21:17,779
- Let's, um...
- Go to a punk-rock show.
457
00:21:17,812 --> 00:21:20,380
- Mosh pit.
- We buy a falcon.
458
00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,683
- I would love a falcon.
- Oh, yeah.
459
00:21:22,717 --> 00:21:24,852
- Sitting on the porch.
- Um.
460
00:21:24,886 --> 00:21:27,320
We could...
let's get chased by the cops.
461
00:21:27,354 --> 00:21:28,890
We could do anything honestly.
462
00:21:28,923 --> 00:21:30,625
We could... but we could both take
463
00:21:30,658 --> 00:21:32,425
- pole dancing classes.
- I could fuck you in the ass.
464
00:21:34,061 --> 00:21:35,863
That's funny.
465
00:21:38,733 --> 00:21:40,701
- Yeah, no.
- Okay, what else could we do?
466
00:21:40,735 --> 00:21:42,402
- No, but, honey.
- What?
467
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,471
- Actually that one...
- Oh, we're not playing a game,
468
00:21:44,505 --> 00:21:46,373
- you're serious now.
- All the other ones
469
00:21:46,406 --> 00:21:48,075
it's super fun to think of,
but we actually
470
00:21:48,109 --> 00:21:50,578
can't travel right now,
'cause of the baby,
471
00:21:50,611 --> 00:21:52,880
and we can't put her
in dangerous situations.
472
00:21:52,914 --> 00:21:55,448
Like... like, it's fun to think
about jumping out of a plane,
473
00:21:55,482 --> 00:21:56,818
but I'm never gonna
do that with a baby,
474
00:21:56,851 --> 00:21:59,654
but... but what about
475
00:21:59,687 --> 00:22:02,089
pegging?
476
00:22:02,123 --> 00:22:04,692
- Because that's...
- I... I... I...
477
00:22:04,725 --> 00:22:06,127
- ...intimate.
- I just got...
478
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:08,495
It is intimate,
I don't see how it really
479
00:22:08,529 --> 00:22:10,631
prepares us
to become better parents
480
00:22:10,665 --> 00:22:12,033
- in a month.
- No, but it... it makes us
481
00:22:12,066 --> 00:22:13,534
- deal with stuff.
- Ugh.
482
00:22:13,568 --> 00:22:16,537
It's an act... it's so actionable.
483
00:22:16,571 --> 00:22:18,639
Yeah, no,
it's definitely actionable.
484
00:22:18,673 --> 00:22:20,440
I read this article
and it's like it's supposed
485
00:22:20,473 --> 00:22:22,510
- to be so empowering.
- Mhm.
486
00:22:22,543 --> 00:22:25,546
And it... and honestly,
it really deals with our issues
487
00:22:25,580 --> 00:22:26,948
in a way where...
'cause I'm always being
488
00:22:26,981 --> 00:22:28,783
a caretaker,
and I'm always, like...
489
00:22:28,816 --> 00:22:31,484
Like, when we have sex,
I receive you and I hold you,
490
00:22:31,519 --> 00:22:32,820
and I'm always going
491
00:22:32,854 --> 00:22:34,555
- with your rhythm.
- I wait until you come
492
00:22:34,589 --> 00:22:36,057
- until I come every single time.
- Which is... which is awesome.
493
00:22:36,090 --> 00:22:37,792
No, you are
a very generous lover,
494
00:22:37,825 --> 00:22:39,694
you're very good, but it is
like a waiting for you...
495
00:22:39,727 --> 00:22:41,762
it is... there is, like, um...
496
00:22:41,796 --> 00:22:43,831
you're in control,
497
00:22:43,865 --> 00:22:46,167
and what if
you weren't in control?
498
00:22:46,200 --> 00:22:49,136
Hm?
499
00:22:49,170 --> 00:22:52,607
I mean, it would be so...
remember what Maya said?
500
00:22:52,640 --> 00:22:55,475
Yeah, when... when we were
humming the song back then,
501
00:22:55,509 --> 00:22:58,478
I didn't think it was leading
to fucking me in the ass.
502
00:23:00,648 --> 00:23:02,516
- Honey.
- Uh-huh?
503
00:23:05,485 --> 00:23:08,556
I feel like I need this.
504
00:23:30,511 --> 00:23:32,013
- Hello.
- Hi.
505
00:23:32,046 --> 00:23:34,649
Hi.
506
00:23:34,682 --> 00:23:38,019
So, this is our sweet spot.
507
00:23:38,052 --> 00:23:40,955
First time, it's so exciting.
508
00:23:40,988 --> 00:23:43,224
I remember my first time
like it was,
509
00:23:43,257 --> 00:23:44,892
uh, 10 years ago.
510
00:23:46,594 --> 00:23:48,863
Uh, I guess it kinda depends
on who this is for.
511
00:23:48,896 --> 00:23:52,033
I mean, obviously it's
for both of you, right?
512
00:23:52,066 --> 00:23:55,468
Yeah, more for her
in this case than for me,
513
00:23:55,503 --> 00:23:58,239
- but yeah.
- I think for you...
514
00:23:58,272 --> 00:23:59,807
- Mhm.
- ...you might like something
515
00:23:59,840 --> 00:24:01,742
- with vibration because...
- Nah.
516
00:24:01,776 --> 00:24:05,046
...you'll also have a bit
of clitoral stimulation during.
517
00:24:05,079 --> 00:24:07,615
- Ooh.
- So, that could be really nice.
518
00:24:07,648 --> 00:24:10,483
I think... I think we don't
need to do vibration.
519
00:24:10,518 --> 00:24:12,553
Let's just...
let's skip the vibration.
520
00:24:12,586 --> 00:24:14,622
Let's skip
any bells and whistles,
521
00:24:14,655 --> 00:24:16,691
and really
what we're looking for
522
00:24:16,724 --> 00:24:19,260
is just kinda the VW Bug
523
00:24:19,293 --> 00:24:21,729
of strap-ons.
524
00:24:21,762 --> 00:24:23,831
We do have
a beginner strap-on actually.
525
00:24:23,864 --> 00:24:26,033
Oh, that is, that says,
"Beginner strap-on" right there,
526
00:24:26,067 --> 00:24:28,569
- "For him."
- It's 4-and-a-half inches.
527
00:24:28,602 --> 00:24:30,871
- Okay.
- So, I think plus belly...
528
00:24:30,905 --> 00:24:33,240
I was gonna say, if...
do we need, like...
529
00:24:33,274 --> 00:24:35,142
I think you're gonna
want more length, personally.
530
00:24:35,176 --> 00:24:37,211
Personally, I would say
you're gonna want more length
531
00:24:37,244 --> 00:24:39,246
given belly and.
532
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,950
Okay, I would suggest
going modular.
533
00:24:42,984 --> 00:24:44,885
We've got
a couple harness options.
534
00:24:44,919 --> 00:24:46,954
This is our most popular,
this is my favorite.
535
00:24:46,988 --> 00:24:48,889
- I have this one actually.
- Oh, you have this one?
536
00:24:48,923 --> 00:24:50,591
Yeah, this one's
really, really great.
537
00:24:50,624 --> 00:24:53,794
Super well priced,
really easy to use.
538
00:24:53,828 --> 00:24:55,563
Um, not super intimidating.
539
00:24:55,596 --> 00:24:58,833
Can you just tell me, what...
what are these?
540
00:24:58,866 --> 00:25:02,136
This is, um, if you want
a dick on your dick.
541
00:25:02,169 --> 00:25:03,771
Uh, oh, that's just if...
542
00:25:03,804 --> 00:25:05,272
- Length.
- ...you have a small dick
543
00:25:05,306 --> 00:25:06,974
- and you want a bigger dick?
- You don't necessarily
544
00:25:07,008 --> 00:25:08,976
have to have a small dick,
it's for any size dick,
545
00:25:09,010 --> 00:25:11,312
but if you want more length.
546
00:25:11,345 --> 00:25:13,848
So, I... I would go here.
547
00:25:13,881 --> 00:25:15,549
It's a really good color.
548
00:25:15,583 --> 00:25:17,752
- If it's your favorite.
- Yeah, I would go here.
549
00:25:17,785 --> 00:25:19,887
- And then...
- Can I just ask,
550
00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,990
um, is something that you use
with your current partner?
551
00:25:23,024 --> 00:25:25,826
It is something I have used
with past partners, yes.
552
00:25:25,860 --> 00:25:28,562
Um, and without
getting too personal...
553
00:25:28,596 --> 00:25:30,131
I guess as a general question,
'cause I think
554
00:25:30,164 --> 00:25:32,566
what he's getting at is,
a lot of straight couples
555
00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:34,668
- use this, right?
- Definitely.
556
00:25:34,702 --> 00:25:36,237
- That's what I was asking.
- Definitely, plenty of
557
00:25:36,270 --> 00:25:40,307
- straight couples use these.
- But, is your partner a...?
558
00:25:43,244 --> 00:25:45,279
So, I would say
559
00:25:45,312 --> 00:25:47,882
this would be
a great place to go
560
00:25:47,915 --> 00:25:49,817
if you wanna
go for something modular,
561
00:25:49,850 --> 00:25:53,254
where you can purchase
a harness and also a dildo.
562
00:25:53,287 --> 00:25:55,089
And are these the only
two options for dildos?
563
00:25:55,122 --> 00:25:57,358
No, we have a plethora
of options.
564
00:25:57,391 --> 00:25:59,360
Uh, would you like to see them?
565
00:25:59,393 --> 00:26:01,729
- Okay, there we go.
- Good.
566
00:26:01,762 --> 00:26:03,998
- And that'll be all?
- And some of this.
567
00:26:04,031 --> 00:26:06,700
- Plus lube, okay.
- I got this one.
568
00:26:06,734 --> 00:26:08,235
- Thanks, babe.
- Yeah.
569
00:26:37,798 --> 00:26:39,700
All right, come here,
I love you.
570
00:26:39,733 --> 00:26:41,268
I just want you to know
571
00:26:41,302 --> 00:26:44,038
your mama's dick
is bigger than mine is,
572
00:26:44,071 --> 00:26:46,073
and, um, I'm okay with that,
573
00:26:46,107 --> 00:26:49,743
because I am
a modern, evolved man
574
00:26:49,777 --> 00:26:51,979
- in a modern, evolved world.
- Mhm.
575
00:26:52,012 --> 00:26:55,316
And, um, that doesn't make me
feel insecure at all.
576
00:26:55,349 --> 00:26:57,718
- Okay, okay.
- Mhm.
577
00:26:57,751 --> 00:26:59,420
Okay, okay.
578
00:26:59,453 --> 00:27:02,256
- I like this angle.
- Thanks.
579
00:27:02,289 --> 00:27:05,025
I'm gonna need your butt
a little higher.
580
00:27:05,059 --> 00:27:06,760
- Okay.
- Like, put a little arch
581
00:27:06,794 --> 00:27:08,996
in your back, a little cat cow.
582
00:27:09,029 --> 00:27:10,664
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
583
00:27:10,698 --> 00:27:13,167
Just... I know
what you're feeling.
584
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,069
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- I've been there.
585
00:27:15,102 --> 00:27:18,272
Just put the weight
on the elbows.
586
00:27:18,305 --> 00:27:20,141
- Okay.
- And let yourself
587
00:27:20,174 --> 00:27:22,710
rock forward.
588
00:27:22,743 --> 00:27:24,445
It's better, right?
589
00:27:24,478 --> 00:27:26,881
You're gonna feel
590
00:27:26,914 --> 00:27:28,415
- a little something...
- Okay!
591
00:27:28,449 --> 00:27:32,219
Um, stop, stop, stop, stop,
stop, stop, stop, stop.
592
00:27:32,253 --> 00:27:34,221
- I didn't even put it in.
- I know.
593
00:27:34,255 --> 00:27:36,790
If I say, "Stop,"
you stop immediately.
594
00:27:36,824 --> 00:27:38,425
- Immediately.
- Safe word:
595
00:27:38,459 --> 00:27:40,861
"Immediately."
596
00:27:40,895 --> 00:27:43,130
"Immediately" is our safe word?
597
00:27:43,164 --> 00:27:46,133
No, "stop" is our safe word,
I'm just... I was just trying
598
00:27:46,167 --> 00:27:48,702
to reiterate
that if I say, "Stop,"
599
00:27:48,736 --> 00:27:50,704
that you immediately stop.
600
00:27:50,738 --> 00:27:53,140
Yes, and maybe,
601
00:27:53,174 --> 00:27:55,843
just throwing out there,
we pause,
602
00:27:55,876 --> 00:27:58,078
as opposed to, like,
pull everything apart.
603
00:27:58,112 --> 00:28:00,714
Okay, except if I tell you
to pull it out, you pull it out.
604
00:28:00,748 --> 00:28:01,916
- Yes.
- Okay.
605
00:28:01,949 --> 00:28:03,951
- Yeah.
- Okay, I just, you know,
606
00:28:03,984 --> 00:28:06,220
- I would do the same for you.
- You would?
607
00:28:06,253 --> 00:28:09,190
- Yeah.
- All right.
608
00:28:09,223 --> 00:28:12,893
- Just breathe.
- Okay, huh!
609
00:28:12,927 --> 00:28:15,863
- Huh!
- It's a familiar.
610
00:28:15,896 --> 00:28:18,432
- It's me.
- Ah, ah, ah, ah!
611
00:28:18,465 --> 00:28:20,467
Breathe.
612
00:28:20,501 --> 00:28:22,970
It's okay, are you okay?
613
00:28:23,003 --> 00:28:24,338
- Mhm.
- Okay, I want you to...
614
00:28:24,371 --> 00:28:26,974
I want you to enjoy it,
and if you don't, it's...
615
00:28:27,007 --> 00:28:29,977
we're just gonna pause.
616
00:28:30,010 --> 00:28:31,979
Just let me breathe, just stop
right there and let me breathe.
617
00:28:32,012 --> 00:28:33,480
Uh-huh.
618
00:28:36,116 --> 00:28:37,785
You're doing so good.
619
00:28:37,818 --> 00:28:40,154
- You're doing so good, baby.
- Okay.
620
00:28:40,187 --> 00:28:43,290
I'm just gonna...
your back is all sweaty.
621
00:28:43,324 --> 00:28:45,859
- Okay, um...
- Like it, do you like it?
622
00:28:45,893 --> 00:28:48,062
- Yeah, I'm just...
- You do?
623
00:28:48,095 --> 00:28:51,165
- I'm gonna move for a second.
- Yeah.
624
00:28:51,198 --> 00:28:53,500
- Okay.
- Yeah, lean in.
625
00:28:56,971 --> 00:29:00,007
- Okay.
- Uh-huh.
626
00:29:00,040 --> 00:29:03,110
That's what it looks like.
627
00:29:03,143 --> 00:29:05,346
- Okay.
- Yeah.
628
00:29:07,982 --> 00:29:10,484
- Get it.
- Okay.
629
00:29:10,518 --> 00:29:12,453
- Oh, sweetie!
- Ah, ah!
630
00:29:12,486 --> 00:29:14,288
- Oh, sweetie.
- Ah, ah!
631
00:29:14,321 --> 00:29:16,558
- Uh-huh, uh-huh.
- Ah, ah!
632
00:29:16,591 --> 00:29:19,393
- Ah, ah!
- Oh, sweetie, sweetie!
633
00:29:19,426 --> 00:29:22,196
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!
- Ah, ah!
634
00:29:22,229 --> 00:29:23,797
Yeah!
635
00:29:23,831 --> 00:29:25,899
Yeah.
636
00:29:37,478 --> 00:29:40,981
I'm... I'm the woman.
637
00:29:41,015 --> 00:29:43,417
I'm the woman.
638
00:29:56,297 --> 00:29:57,865
Honey?
639
00:29:57,898 --> 00:29:59,833
Are you okay?
640
00:29:59,867 --> 00:30:01,468
Yes, and I'm sorry.
641
00:30:03,538 --> 00:30:05,939
Where'd you fucking go?
642
00:30:10,210 --> 00:30:11,513
Fuck!
643
00:30:52,319 --> 00:30:54,054
You're awake?
644
00:30:54,088 --> 00:30:55,923
Mhm.
645
00:30:55,956 --> 00:30:58,359
- Good mornin'.
- Good morning, baby.
646
00:31:01,596 --> 00:31:04,198
I feel great!
647
00:31:04,231 --> 00:31:06,300
- Great.
- Honey,
648
00:31:06,333 --> 00:31:09,571
I just slept through
the whole night.
649
00:31:09,604 --> 00:31:12,172
I know, you didn't
get up and pee, or anything.
650
00:31:12,206 --> 00:31:14,308
I can't believe it.
651
00:31:14,341 --> 00:31:16,043
Uh, you deserve it.
652
00:31:16,076 --> 00:31:18,445
It's like a miracle.
653
00:31:18,479 --> 00:31:21,448
I haven't slept a whole night
654
00:31:21,482 --> 00:31:23,585
the entire third trimester.
655
00:31:23,618 --> 00:31:26,353
I know.
656
00:31:26,387 --> 00:31:28,422
Ahh.
657
00:31:28,455 --> 00:31:30,391
I'm glad.
658
00:31:30,424 --> 00:31:32,694
I wore myself out yesterday.
659
00:31:32,727 --> 00:31:34,562
- Yeah, you sure did.
- Yep.
660
00:31:34,596 --> 00:31:36,363
Yeah.
661
00:31:36,397 --> 00:31:39,266
Oh, how do you feel?
662
00:31:39,299 --> 00:31:42,035
Mm, I'm okay.
663
00:31:42,069 --> 00:31:44,539
I feel a little funny,
I didn't sleep much,
664
00:31:44,572 --> 00:31:46,974
- but I'm all right.
- No?
665
00:31:47,007 --> 00:31:49,644
Uh-uh, it was a bit
of a fraught night.
666
00:31:51,478 --> 00:31:53,280
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
667
00:31:53,313 --> 00:31:57,017
- It's okay.
- I felt so profoundly...
668
00:31:59,621 --> 00:32:01,221
...completed.
669
00:32:01,255 --> 00:32:03,558
I really appreciate it,
I'm sorry you had
670
00:32:03,591 --> 00:32:06,059
such a bad night.
671
00:32:06,093 --> 00:32:08,128
- Mm.
- I mean, don't you feel
672
00:32:08,162 --> 00:32:10,130
like we...
673
00:32:10,164 --> 00:32:11,599
we broke the mold?
674
00:32:11,633 --> 00:32:15,102
I feel like I... I broke the...
675
00:32:15,135 --> 00:32:16,638
the mold in some way.
676
00:32:16,671 --> 00:32:19,273
I, like, feel funky and weird.
677
00:32:19,306 --> 00:32:21,208
- Hm.
- Like,
678
00:32:21,241 --> 00:32:23,545
we can do anything.
679
00:32:23,578 --> 00:32:26,046
There's no rules,
we can do anything.
680
00:32:26,079 --> 00:32:27,615
Hm.
681
00:32:30,284 --> 00:32:32,152
No.
682
00:32:32,186 --> 00:32:35,088
I think...
683
00:32:35,122 --> 00:32:38,593
I mean,
684
00:32:38,626 --> 00:32:40,994
okay, if I'm being
totally honest.
685
00:32:41,028 --> 00:32:43,464
Mhm, which I want you to be.
686
00:32:43,497 --> 00:32:46,133
Okay.
687
00:32:46,166 --> 00:32:47,501
Um.
688
00:32:53,307 --> 00:32:55,743
Do you know how many times
my dad used the word "faggot"
689
00:32:55,777 --> 00:32:58,479
when I was a kid?
690
00:32:58,513 --> 00:33:00,615
That's so bad.
691
00:33:00,648 --> 00:33:03,350
Like, "Faggot this,
and faggot that."
692
00:33:03,383 --> 00:33:05,419
And that didn't even
693
00:33:05,452 --> 00:33:09,256
really mean "gay."
694
00:33:09,289 --> 00:33:11,492
It just meant
695
00:33:11,526 --> 00:33:14,094
"weak."
696
00:33:14,127 --> 00:33:16,598
And so, here I am,
697
00:33:16,631 --> 00:33:18,432
an adult man,
698
00:33:18,465 --> 00:33:21,636
who's in
a loving relationship...
699
00:33:21,669 --> 00:33:23,303
- Mhm.
- ...with a strong
700
00:33:23,337 --> 00:33:25,339
and beautiful woman, who has,
701
00:33:25,372 --> 00:33:27,307
at least biologically speaking,
702
00:33:27,341 --> 00:33:29,611
- proved my manliness.
- Totally.
703
00:33:29,644 --> 00:33:32,446
And all of a sudden
we're doing this thing
704
00:33:32,479 --> 00:33:35,449
where we're... we're conducting
this experiment.
705
00:33:35,482 --> 00:33:37,317
- Yeah?
- And then, the second
706
00:33:37,351 --> 00:33:40,320
it felt good,
my head came back in,
707
00:33:40,354 --> 00:33:43,223
and it was like, "What,
'cause you're a faggot?"
708
00:33:45,158 --> 00:33:47,261
- Okay.
- And... and... and that's terrible,
709
00:33:47,294 --> 00:33:50,397
and I'm sorry
I keep using that word.
710
00:33:50,430 --> 00:33:53,066
It's just,
it's obviously not me talking.
711
00:33:53,100 --> 00:33:55,703
- Yeah.
- It's... it's all the baggage
712
00:33:55,737 --> 00:33:58,506
from my hometown,
and from growing up
713
00:33:58,540 --> 00:34:00,675
- with an alpha father...
- Yeah.
714
00:34:00,708 --> 00:34:02,309
...and... and so,
when I was downstairs,
715
00:34:02,342 --> 00:34:04,077
I really started trying
to pick this apart
716
00:34:04,111 --> 00:34:07,314
and go like, "What...
what's at the core of this?"
717
00:34:07,347 --> 00:34:10,083
Because there's two things
that are competing inside of me.
718
00:34:10,117 --> 00:34:12,787
One is that, um,
I wanna be your partner,
719
00:34:12,820 --> 00:34:15,389
and I wanna be...
I wanna be truly open
720
00:34:15,422 --> 00:34:17,692
to new experiences
in the universe.
721
00:34:17,725 --> 00:34:19,827
Um, and the other side is,
722
00:34:19,861 --> 00:34:23,430
my dad was a homophobe,
and I just let my wife
723
00:34:23,463 --> 00:34:25,365
fuck me in the ass,
724
00:34:25,399 --> 00:34:28,770
and so all of a sudden
I felt like,
725
00:34:28,803 --> 00:34:30,638
"You're not a man."
726
00:34:30,672 --> 00:34:33,106
And then... and then,
I started thinking about
727
00:34:33,140 --> 00:34:35,342
all of the therapy
that I've had,
728
00:34:35,375 --> 00:34:37,512
and... and going like,
729
00:34:37,545 --> 00:34:40,347
"Why is this... you know,
why is this such an issue?"
730
00:34:40,380 --> 00:34:41,849
This shouldn't be such an issue,
731
00:34:41,883 --> 00:34:44,519
and maybe I would like it
if we did it again.
732
00:34:44,552 --> 00:34:46,219
If I could get past the shame.
733
00:34:46,253 --> 00:34:48,856
If I could get past
all the stuff that's built up
734
00:34:48,890 --> 00:34:51,158
in my head, and so I think
in the same way
735
00:34:51,191 --> 00:34:53,695
that you had to
736
00:34:53,728 --> 00:34:56,831
go on your journey
737
00:34:56,864 --> 00:34:59,867
to feel more in control,
738
00:34:59,901 --> 00:35:04,404
and... and to feel powerful,
739
00:35:04,438 --> 00:35:06,774
I think I got
some work to do, too.
740
00:35:06,808 --> 00:35:08,643
- Totally.
- You know?
741
00:35:08,676 --> 00:35:11,813
Yeah, what do...
what do you wanna do?
742
00:35:13,948 --> 00:35:16,551
I think I need to punch
somebody in the face.
743
00:35:20,187 --> 00:35:21,756
That...
744
00:35:21,789 --> 00:35:24,792
And also, I think
another important component
745
00:35:24,826 --> 00:35:29,363
of this is that I need
to know what it feels like
746
00:35:29,396 --> 00:35:31,633
to actually take
a full face punch.
747
00:35:33,601 --> 00:35:34,936
You want somebody
to punch you...?
748
00:35:34,969 --> 00:35:38,673
Punch me in the face.
749
00:35:38,706 --> 00:35:41,475
I hate this.
750
00:35:45,479 --> 00:35:46,781
Okay, jab.
751
00:35:48,415 --> 00:35:49,951
- Hello!
- One, two, one, two.
752
00:35:49,984 --> 00:35:52,319
Uh, hello, back here.
753
00:35:52,352 --> 00:35:54,187
Okay, give me a jab.
754
00:35:54,221 --> 00:35:55,923
- Hey, man.
- Give me a jab.
755
00:35:55,957 --> 00:35:58,325
One, duck, two.
756
00:35:58,358 --> 00:36:00,928
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey, what's up, man?
757
00:36:00,962 --> 00:36:02,362
Ah, it's good to see you.
758
00:36:02,396 --> 00:36:04,264
Hey, what's going on?
I'm Elliot.
759
00:36:04,297 --> 00:36:05,767
- Hi.
- What's your name?
760
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,268
- I'm Josh.
- Josh, nice to meet you.
761
00:36:08,301 --> 00:36:10,237
Elliot, Jackie,
these are my friends.
762
00:36:10,270 --> 00:36:11,839
You guys look like
you're hanging tough in here.
763
00:36:11,873 --> 00:36:13,508
Yeah, hooking it up...
what's up, man?
764
00:36:13,541 --> 00:36:16,711
Uh, can I... can I steal you
for, like, 3 minutes?
765
00:36:18,713 --> 00:36:19,847
- Uh, you cool with it?
- Yeah.
766
00:36:19,881 --> 00:36:21,381
- Are we cool with that?
- Is that cool?
767
00:36:21,415 --> 00:36:22,917
- 4 minutes, it'll be real quick.
- Okay, a couple.
768
00:36:22,950 --> 00:36:24,819
- I got a little favor to ask.
- It's fine.
769
00:36:24,852 --> 00:36:26,921
All right, Josh,
100 jumping jacks.
770
00:36:26,954 --> 00:36:28,422
Count 'em out.
771
00:36:28,455 --> 00:36:29,691
When you're done,
I'll be back, okay?
772
00:36:29,724 --> 00:36:31,291
- All right.
- Okay.
773
00:36:31,324 --> 00:36:34,361
- I'll bring him right back.
- All right.
774
00:36:34,394 --> 00:36:38,900
One, two, three, four, five...
775
00:36:38,933 --> 00:36:42,570
Um, so here's the thing.
776
00:36:42,603 --> 00:36:45,439
Yeah?
777
00:36:45,472 --> 00:36:47,508
I would like you
to hit me in the face
778
00:36:47,542 --> 00:36:49,376
as hard as you can.
779
00:36:52,580 --> 00:36:53,881
Fight Club.
780
00:36:53,915 --> 00:36:55,983
Hm?
781
00:36:56,017 --> 00:36:57,451
You're Fight Clubbing me?
782
00:36:57,484 --> 00:36:58,853
Hey, did you do
a Fight Club to me?
783
00:37:00,621 --> 00:37:02,557
Oh, shit, that is from
Fight Club, isn't it?
784
00:37:02,590 --> 00:37:05,325
No, I kinda...
in the back of my head,
785
00:37:05,358 --> 00:37:08,495
I had some recognition,
but I didn't realize
786
00:37:08,529 --> 00:37:10,330
- it was something...
- It was it exactly.
787
00:37:10,363 --> 00:37:12,533
- That's exactly what it's from.
- Yeah.
788
00:37:12,567 --> 00:37:14,736
Okay, so I know you have to
get back in there.
789
00:37:14,769 --> 00:37:17,437
This is real quick,
if you could just punch me,
790
00:37:17,471 --> 00:37:19,974
and, um, if it's okay...
791
00:37:20,007 --> 00:37:22,744
if it's okay, I'd love to
be able to punch you back.
792
00:37:22,777 --> 00:37:24,879
- That would be super helpful.
- I can't tell
793
00:37:24,912 --> 00:37:26,379
if you guys are fucking with me.
794
00:37:26,413 --> 00:37:28,616
- Is this real?
- It...
795
00:37:28,649 --> 00:37:30,350
Yeah.
796
00:37:32,319 --> 00:37:33,921
- No, no way.
- Okay, um.
797
00:37:33,955 --> 00:37:35,056
You're out of your fucking mind.
798
00:37:35,089 --> 00:37:35,957
I'm not gonna punch you.
799
00:37:35,990 --> 00:37:38,291
- Here, here's the thing.
- In the face?
800
00:37:38,325 --> 00:37:39,994
I swear to God
I won't be upset.
801
00:37:40,027 --> 00:37:41,461
I won't either.
802
00:37:41,495 --> 00:37:42,530
She won't either.
803
00:37:42,563 --> 00:37:43,831
Okay, here's the thing.
804
00:37:43,865 --> 00:37:45,633
Do you remember
at our baby shower
805
00:37:45,666 --> 00:37:46,901
when you came
up to me at the end,
806
00:37:46,934 --> 00:37:48,603
and you hugged me,
and you were just like,
807
00:37:48,636 --> 00:37:49,904
"Brother, anything you need...
808
00:37:49,937 --> 00:37:51,773
- Yeah.
- ...anything at all?"
809
00:37:51,806 --> 00:37:54,041
- Yeah, I...
- This is it.
810
00:37:54,075 --> 00:37:55,375
Not gonna do it, I'm sorry.
811
00:37:55,408 --> 00:37:56,644
- I lied to you.
- This is it.
812
00:37:56,677 --> 00:37:58,345
I can't.
813
00:37:58,378 --> 00:37:59,514
- I've...
- Okay, so I'll tell,
814
00:37:59,547 --> 00:38:00,982
I'll tell, I'll tell you why,
I'll tell you why
815
00:38:01,015 --> 00:38:02,617
'cause I do think
it'll make a difference.
816
00:38:02,650 --> 00:38:03,416
It's this thing that
817
00:38:03,450 --> 00:38:04,619
- Jackie and I are doing...
- Okay.
818
00:38:04,652 --> 00:38:07,021
...because, uh, because
we're about to have a baby...
819
00:38:07,054 --> 00:38:07,955
- Yeah, yeah.
- ...and we're trying to become
820
00:38:07,989 --> 00:38:09,489
fully realized humans.
821
00:38:09,524 --> 00:38:10,792
I mean, you know,
I've talked to you about
822
00:38:10,825 --> 00:38:12,392
my dad stuff, my rape stuff.
823
00:38:12,425 --> 00:38:13,661
You know, I've been in therapy
824
00:38:13,694 --> 00:38:16,030
since I was
fuckin' 18 years old.
825
00:38:16,063 --> 00:38:18,633
And, obviously,
you know, they're like,
826
00:38:18,666 --> 00:38:19,834
"You shouldn't punch people."
827
00:38:19,867 --> 00:38:22,804
So, I punch walls,
I, like, kick things,
828
00:38:22,837 --> 00:38:25,640
but what I've never done
in my entire life
829
00:38:25,673 --> 00:38:27,575
is I've never been
punched in the face.
830
00:38:27,608 --> 00:38:28,375
And my dad used to do
831
00:38:28,408 --> 00:38:30,077
- this to me all the time.
- Yeah.
832
00:38:30,111 --> 00:38:34,048
So, I am so afraid of this,
and I just, I, I just need,
833
00:38:34,081 --> 00:38:35,448
- I need the full thing.
- Not happening.
834
00:38:35,482 --> 00:38:38,418
I appreciate everything
you just told me.
835
00:38:38,451 --> 00:38:41,122
I'm sorry you had a mean dad.
836
00:38:41,155 --> 00:38:43,991
And whatever you guys
are going through
837
00:38:44,025 --> 00:38:45,092
feels weird.
838
00:38:45,126 --> 00:38:47,728
Uh, I can't help you with this.
839
00:38:47,762 --> 00:38:50,097
I'm facing
840
00:38:50,131 --> 00:38:52,133
my biggest fear.
841
00:38:52,166 --> 00:38:55,435
This wall of fear.
842
00:38:55,468 --> 00:38:57,505
And her and I together,
843
00:38:57,538 --> 00:39:00,775
are gonna get over
that fuckin' wall.
844
00:39:00,808 --> 00:39:01,742
Cool, man.
845
00:39:01,776 --> 00:39:03,044
So we can be...
846
00:39:03,077 --> 00:39:05,146
I'm not goin' over
the wall with you.
847
00:39:05,179 --> 00:39:08,115
I don't need you to,
I just need you to punch me.
848
00:39:08,149 --> 00:39:09,650
There's a kid
in the other room waiting.
849
00:39:09,684 --> 00:39:11,451
You punch guys in the face
850
00:39:11,484 --> 00:39:12,485
- every day!
- Yeah,
851
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:14,655
'cause I don't care
about them, and also...
852
00:39:14,689 --> 00:39:16,624
Okay, can I punch
you in the face?
853
00:39:16,657 --> 00:39:18,491
- No.
- Please?
854
00:39:18,526 --> 00:39:19,927
Absolutely not.
855
00:39:19,961 --> 00:39:21,963
I just need to
punch you in the face.
856
00:39:21,996 --> 00:39:23,764
- Well, okay.
- Dude, no.
857
00:39:23,798 --> 00:39:25,633
One of the two
is gonna happen.
858
00:39:25,666 --> 00:39:27,034
Neither of the two are gonna
859
00:39:27,068 --> 00:39:28,501
- happen actually.
- Okay, punch me in the face.
860
00:39:28,536 --> 00:39:30,771
- I am not gonna...
- Punch me in the face.
861
00:39:30,805 --> 00:39:31,939
- Elliot, I'm not gonna...
- Punch me in the face.
862
00:39:31,973 --> 00:39:32,840
- I'm not punching...
- I'm gonna punch you in the face
863
00:39:32,874 --> 00:39:34,542
if you don't punch
me in the face.
864
00:39:34,575 --> 00:39:35,475
I'm gonna
punch you in the face.
865
00:39:35,509 --> 00:39:37,511
You're not gonna
punch me in the face.
866
00:39:37,545 --> 00:39:38,613
I'm gonna... Punch me in the face!
867
00:39:38,646 --> 00:39:39,446
- No one's getting punched.
- Punch me in the face!
868
00:39:39,479 --> 00:39:40,413
How 'bout this,
no one's fucking
869
00:39:40,447 --> 00:39:42,083
- getting punched.
- I'm gonna punch you!
870
00:39:42,116 --> 00:39:43,450
Ah!
871
00:39:45,019 --> 00:39:46,621
Ho!
872
00:39:46,654 --> 00:39:47,889
Ooh.
873
00:39:47,922 --> 00:39:49,156
That was...
874
00:39:49,190 --> 00:39:50,625
Are you bleeding?
875
00:39:50,658 --> 00:39:52,627
- Ah, shit.
- You're fuckin' bleeding.
876
00:39:52,660 --> 00:39:53,594
- Oh, brother!
- Fuckin' damn it, man.
877
00:39:53,628 --> 00:39:54,996
I'm sorry, but that was amazing!
878
00:39:55,029 --> 00:39:56,597
- What are you doing?
- Come on, that was amazing.
879
00:39:56,631 --> 00:39:58,165
That wasn't amazing,
that was ridiculous.
880
00:39:58,199 --> 00:39:59,432
Get the fuck outta here.
881
00:39:59,466 --> 00:40:00,534
Josh, go in the other room.
882
00:40:00,568 --> 00:40:02,469
- Oh!
- Okay, okay, so you're mad.
883
00:40:02,503 --> 00:40:04,105
- Jackie...
- So, punch me in the face!
884
00:40:04,138 --> 00:40:04,972
- I'm gonna...
- Come on, come on, come on,
885
00:40:05,006 --> 00:40:06,107
- come on, come on.
- I need you to go.
886
00:40:06,140 --> 00:40:07,141
Dude, dude, dude, dude, come...
887
00:40:09,844 --> 00:40:11,212
Oh!
888
00:40:11,245 --> 00:40:13,581
- Oh!
- Dude, I'm sorry.
889
00:40:13,614 --> 00:40:14,982
Oh!
890
00:40:15,016 --> 00:40:15,917
- Hey!
- Honey, honey.
891
00:40:15,950 --> 00:40:18,152
- Elliot, I'm sorry.
- Oh, it's okay.
892
00:40:18,185 --> 00:40:19,520
Flip over.
893
00:40:19,553 --> 00:40:21,989
Oh, my God.
894
00:40:22,023 --> 00:40:23,891
Dude, I'm so sorry.
895
00:40:23,925 --> 00:40:24,992
Elliot, I'm so sorry.
896
00:40:27,962 --> 00:40:29,196
You're okay?
897
00:40:29,230 --> 00:40:30,564
Yeah.
898
00:40:30,598 --> 00:40:33,534
- He's okay!
- Oh, I went out.
899
00:40:33,567 --> 00:40:35,569
- I went out!
- Yeah.
900
00:40:35,603 --> 00:40:36,637
Oh, that really...
901
00:40:36,671 --> 00:40:38,572
- Fuck you!
- That was crazy!
902
00:40:38,606 --> 00:40:39,907
Can I help you,
let me help you both up,
903
00:40:39,941 --> 00:40:41,676
then you can get
the fuck out, okay?
904
00:40:41,709 --> 00:40:43,010
- Sorry. You did it!
- Do I have a black eye?
905
00:40:43,044 --> 00:40:43,844
- You do a little bit!
- Yeah, you have a black eye
906
00:40:43,878 --> 00:40:45,046
'cause you're a fuckin' idiot.
907
00:40:45,079 --> 00:40:45,880
Now, can you please leave?
908
00:40:45,913 --> 00:40:47,648
Dude, I know
you're upset, but...
909
00:40:47,682 --> 00:40:48,950
- You have no idea.
- ...it's the best thing
910
00:40:48,983 --> 00:40:49,684
- in my entire life.
- I don't wanna
911
00:40:49,717 --> 00:40:50,818
- hear it right now.
- Can I?
912
00:40:50,851 --> 00:40:51,686
No, don't touch me.
913
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,121
Okay, some day
you're gonna understand.
914
00:40:54,155 --> 00:40:55,089
No, I won't!
915
00:40:55,122 --> 00:40:56,824
You'll be lucky if
we talk some day soon.
916
00:40:56,857 --> 00:40:57,758
- Get the fuck out, Elliot.
- I love you.
917
00:40:57,792 --> 00:40:59,260
- No, Jackie.
- Let's get out.
918
00:40:59,293 --> 00:41:01,529
- Okay, I feel you.
- Let's go. Thank you.
919
00:41:01,562 --> 00:41:04,598
No, don't thank me,
just fuckin' go.
920
00:43:06,887 --> 00:43:07,855
First of all, we have to
921
00:43:07,888 --> 00:43:09,056
- thank you.
- Oh, my God.
922
00:43:09,090 --> 00:43:10,925
The things you said to us
923
00:43:10,958 --> 00:43:12,226
- resonated.
- Something broke open.
924
00:43:12,259 --> 00:43:13,160
- You asked the question...
- You were like,
925
00:43:13,194 --> 00:43:14,261
- "What do you need?
- ..."What do you need?"
926
00:43:14,295 --> 00:43:17,364
I've never been this
confident in my entire life!
927
00:43:17,398 --> 00:43:19,300
That's, that's, that's great!
928
00:43:19,333 --> 00:43:22,336
Also, when you were saying
you gotta trust each other,
929
00:43:22,369 --> 00:43:24,839
- and, like, fuck everybody else.
- And fuck everybody else!
930
00:43:24,872 --> 00:43:26,874
Everything in us went, "Whoa!
931
00:43:26,907 --> 00:43:28,342
- Break the cycle."
- Like, stop.
932
00:43:28,375 --> 00:43:29,310
What do we need?
933
00:43:29,343 --> 00:43:31,178
- What would do that?
- Yeah, 'cause all that...
934
00:43:31,212 --> 00:43:32,646
- And the oxytocin...
- Everything you,
935
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:35,216
everything you said
made sense in our brains,
936
00:43:35,249 --> 00:43:36,851
- but we've never put it...
- But we had to do it.
937
00:43:36,884 --> 00:43:38,719
- ..into effect.
- Got it.
938
00:43:38,752 --> 00:43:41,088
And more stuff
with my dad, obviously.
939
00:43:41,122 --> 00:43:44,225
- But, like, the thing...
- Her dad's money,
940
00:43:44,258 --> 00:43:45,025
- drugs.
- I realized
941
00:43:45,059 --> 00:43:47,995
I needed, sexually,
to give it.
942
00:43:48,028 --> 00:43:50,264
- I needed to fuck him.
- She wanted to fuck me.
943
00:43:50,297 --> 00:43:52,867
It just seemed like
the only answer..
944
00:43:52,900 --> 00:43:55,703
So we went to a shop,
and we got a strap-on,
945
00:43:55,736 --> 00:43:56,904
- and then we went home...
- And then...
946
00:43:56,937 --> 00:43:57,838
...and we did it,
947
00:43:57,872 --> 00:43:59,940
and it hurt,
948
00:43:59,974 --> 00:44:00,875
um, for me.
949
00:44:00,908 --> 00:44:02,343
For you...
950
00:44:02,376 --> 00:44:04,879
Great, but emotionally,
951
00:44:04,912 --> 00:44:08,782
- I felt like a rock star.
- Mm-hm.
952
00:44:08,816 --> 00:44:10,918
- And then...
- And then, I cried.
953
00:44:10,951 --> 00:44:13,120
I mean, I didn't cry
around you because I didn't,
954
00:44:13,154 --> 00:44:15,389
I didn't want that to tamp down,
955
00:44:15,422 --> 00:44:17,358
- you know, your moment because...
- And how nice is that?
956
00:44:17,391 --> 00:44:18,993
And then it, the chain reaction.
957
00:44:19,026 --> 00:44:21,729
Somehow, the Pavlovian
connection between
958
00:44:21,762 --> 00:44:24,098
masculinity, and sexuality,
959
00:44:24,131 --> 00:44:28,469
and violence,
the smallness I felt,
960
00:44:28,502 --> 00:44:30,704
I was six years old again.
961
00:44:30,738 --> 00:44:34,074
And I was sitting
at my kitchen table
962
00:44:34,108 --> 00:44:36,043
in my childhood house,
963
00:44:36,076 --> 00:44:39,380
and I just spilled
a glass of orange juice.
964
00:44:39,413 --> 00:44:41,048
And my father turned, and he,
965
00:44:41,081 --> 00:44:43,851
and he cocked a fist
like he was gonna punch me
966
00:44:43,884 --> 00:44:47,788
because I spilled a fucking
glass of orange juice, okay?
967
00:44:47,821 --> 00:44:52,059
And that fear has dictated
968
00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:54,128
so many of the choices
that I've made
969
00:44:54,161 --> 00:44:57,164
- my entire life.
- Like, the cycle of backing away
970
00:44:57,198 --> 00:44:59,900
from that energy had to break.
971
00:44:59,934 --> 00:45:01,468
Because I'm a grown-ass man,
972
00:45:01,502 --> 00:45:03,437
and I'm about to be a father.
973
00:45:03,470 --> 00:45:05,039
And so, I can't be scared.
974
00:45:05,072 --> 00:45:07,174
I can't be scared of a fist,
975
00:45:07,208 --> 00:45:09,176
or, like, a plastic dick
976
00:45:09,210 --> 00:45:11,946
the way that I have
been my entire life.
977
00:45:11,979 --> 00:45:14,014
So, I went to visit my friend.
978
00:45:14,048 --> 00:45:16,784
- It was amazing!
- And I punched him in the face!
979
00:45:16,817 --> 00:45:18,285
And he didn't...
980
00:45:18,319 --> 00:45:19,453
I asked him at first,
981
00:45:19,486 --> 00:45:21,355
I was like, "Can I, can I..."
982
00:45:21,388 --> 00:45:23,190
Well, I asked him
if he'd punch me,
983
00:45:23,224 --> 00:45:25,159
and he was like, "No,
I'm not gonna punch you."
984
00:45:25,192 --> 00:45:26,493
And I was like, "Come on,
please, punch me."
985
00:45:26,528 --> 00:45:28,229
- And he was like, "No!"
- Like, don't be a pussy!
986
00:45:30,431 --> 00:45:32,199
- I punched him!
- Got it.
987
00:45:32,233 --> 00:45:34,868
And then he still
wouldn't punch me!
988
00:45:34,902 --> 00:45:35,836
So then...
989
00:45:38,540 --> 00:45:40,307
- I was amazed.
- And then,
990
00:45:40,341 --> 00:45:43,444
and then I saw it happen on his
face when he was just like...
991
00:45:43,477 --> 00:45:45,212
And then, he was like
992
00:45:45,246 --> 00:45:46,548
black out.
993
00:45:48,816 --> 00:45:51,118
Just punched me in the face.
994
00:45:51,151 --> 00:45:52,453
It was the best.
995
00:45:52,486 --> 00:45:54,088
And then, and then...
996
00:45:56,023 --> 00:45:58,926
...and then I'm
seeing stars for a second.
997
00:45:58,959 --> 00:46:00,562
But, I could tell, like...
998
00:46:00,595 --> 00:46:02,329
But then I came up,
999
00:46:02,363 --> 00:46:07,468
- and I was clear as day.
- Yeah.
1000
00:46:07,501 --> 00:46:08,637
You know what,
give me a second.
1001
00:46:08,670 --> 00:46:13,541
I'll be right back,
I'm just gonna grab something.
1002
00:46:13,575 --> 00:46:15,109
She's the bomb.
1003
00:46:15,142 --> 00:46:17,011
Yeah.
1004
00:46:17,044 --> 00:46:18,513
Oh, man.
1005
00:46:18,546 --> 00:46:21,015
I could take a nap.
1006
00:46:21,048 --> 00:46:22,550
Yeah.
1007
00:46:22,584 --> 00:46:23,417
Maybe I'll take a nap.
1008
00:46:23,450 --> 00:46:24,385
Can we go take a nap?
1009
00:46:24,418 --> 00:46:26,320
- Wanna go take a nap?
- Just a midday nap?
1010
00:46:26,353 --> 00:46:27,921
And then go to a rave?
1011
00:46:27,955 --> 00:46:29,823
How 'bout the zoo?
1012
00:46:29,857 --> 00:46:31,025
You wanna go to the zoo?
1013
00:46:31,058 --> 00:46:32,459
I think they have
pandas there now.
1014
00:46:32,493 --> 00:46:34,161
Did they get pandas at the zoo?
1015
00:46:34,194 --> 00:46:36,063
So, this is for you.
1016
00:46:36,096 --> 00:46:37,398
What's this?
1017
00:46:37,431 --> 00:46:40,467
It's a full refund.
1018
00:46:40,501 --> 00:46:42,570
- Um.
- You deserve it!
1019
00:46:42,604 --> 00:46:44,171
You deserve so much
more than this.
1020
00:46:44,204 --> 00:46:45,873
It's really okay.
1021
00:46:45,906 --> 00:46:48,375
I don't think there's
any amount of money that
1022
00:46:48,409 --> 00:46:49,376
either of you could give me
1023
00:46:49,410 --> 00:46:52,413
that would make it okay
for us to work together.
1024
00:46:55,015 --> 00:46:56,450
Wha...
1025
00:46:56,483 --> 00:46:59,253
This whole thing, the eye,
1026
00:46:59,286 --> 00:47:02,222
the battery, the pegging,
1027
00:47:02,256 --> 00:47:04,091
- just there's a lot of...
- I don't think it's battery.
1028
00:47:04,124 --> 00:47:06,528
There's a lot of
liability issues here that
1029
00:47:06,561 --> 00:47:09,396
just make me feel
super uncomfortable.
1030
00:47:09,430 --> 00:47:13,233
So, I think it's probably gonna
be best if both of you just
1031
00:47:13,267 --> 00:47:14,335
- get up...
- Wait a minute.
1032
00:47:14,368 --> 00:47:17,338
- ...and leave.
- Wait a minute.
1033
00:47:17,371 --> 00:47:20,608
- Babe?
- Wait a minute.
1034
00:47:20,642 --> 00:47:22,109
So, wait.
1035
00:47:24,178 --> 00:47:26,347
- You want us to go?
- Yeah.
1036
00:47:26,380 --> 00:47:28,082
Are you still
gonna be our doula?
1037
00:47:28,115 --> 00:47:30,552
No, no doula.
1038
00:47:30,585 --> 00:47:32,119
All done.
1039
00:47:32,152 --> 00:47:33,220
Finito.
1040
00:47:33,253 --> 00:47:36,457
Need you both
to get up, and leave.
1041
00:47:43,197 --> 00:47:45,366
The thing that's just, like,
1042
00:47:45,399 --> 00:47:48,670
nuts is that it's not evident,
and it's not so apparent
1043
00:47:48,703 --> 00:47:51,205
- that this is amazing.
- Other people don't get it.
1044
00:47:51,238 --> 00:47:52,640
No, it's incredible.
1045
00:47:52,674 --> 00:47:54,542
How do other people not get it?
1046
00:47:54,576 --> 00:47:55,976
I mean, and that's hard.
1047
00:47:56,009 --> 00:47:58,412
If I didn't have you,
I'd be so lonely.
1048
00:47:58,445 --> 00:48:01,048
- Honey!
- To have these revelations,
1049
00:48:01,081 --> 00:48:02,449
- to really...
- I see them,
1050
00:48:02,483 --> 00:48:04,118
I see what you're going through.
1051
00:48:04,151 --> 00:48:06,954
...have my brain
break open in these ways.
1052
00:48:06,987 --> 00:48:09,056
And have other people
look at it and go like,
1053
00:48:09,089 --> 00:48:10,391
"Eh, not into it."
1054
00:48:10,424 --> 00:48:13,528
It's so weird 'cause I see you.
1055
00:48:13,561 --> 00:48:15,996
- You see me.
- And look, I get it with Zach.
1056
00:48:16,029 --> 00:48:18,265
Like, I punched my
dear friend in the face,
1057
00:48:18,298 --> 00:48:19,967
- and that might have been...
- Zach? Yeah.
1058
00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:20,702
...a little fucked up...
1059
00:48:20,735 --> 00:48:22,637
- But Maya.
- ...but still!
1060
00:48:22,670 --> 00:48:26,541
- Maya.
- She, like, talks the talk,
1061
00:48:26,574 --> 00:48:28,510
- but doesn't walk the walk.
- Walk the walk.
1062
00:48:28,543 --> 00:48:30,277
No, she's a fake truth teller.
1063
00:48:30,310 --> 00:48:33,280
Yeah, she's living
in her own lies.
1064
00:48:33,313 --> 00:48:36,049
Well, I think you,
I think we live in a culture
1065
00:48:36,083 --> 00:48:38,118
that's not prepared
for the truth.
1066
00:48:38,152 --> 00:48:39,186
I think we live in a culture
1067
00:48:39,219 --> 00:48:41,556
- that can't handle the truth.
- I think we do.
1068
00:48:41,589 --> 00:48:43,390
'Cause it's just easier
to lie to each other.
1069
00:48:43,424 --> 00:48:45,527
It is, like, how many times
has your mom been like,
1070
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,629
"Do you like the casserole?"
and I'm like, "I love it!"
1071
00:48:47,662 --> 00:48:49,096
Oh, exactly, and how many times
1072
00:48:49,129 --> 00:48:50,698
has my mom been like,
"Was I a good mother?"
1073
00:48:50,732 --> 00:48:52,966
And I'm like, "Of course, Mom."
1074
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,201
We do it, why?
1075
00:48:54,234 --> 00:48:55,969
Just because it's easier.
1076
00:48:56,003 --> 00:48:58,238
It's just like a path
of least resistance.
1077
00:48:58,272 --> 00:49:00,407
I know, and that's why
we're so fucked!
1078
00:49:00,441 --> 00:49:02,710
We're fucked as a country
because of this
1079
00:49:02,744 --> 00:49:06,113
- epidemic of lying.
- We're fucked as a world.
1080
00:49:06,146 --> 00:49:08,148
Maybe we have been afraid
of that with each other.
1081
00:49:08,182 --> 00:49:09,116
That's why we had a...
1082
00:49:09,149 --> 00:49:10,752
And now, for the first time,
we're like,
1083
00:49:10,785 --> 00:49:12,720
"I can totally show you me,
1084
00:49:12,754 --> 00:49:14,188
and you can
totally show me you."
1085
00:49:14,221 --> 00:49:16,123
- We can just, like, be like...
- And we love it!
1086
00:49:16,156 --> 00:49:17,324
...like, "This is me.
1087
00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:18,760
- This is me.
- This is me.
1088
00:49:18,793 --> 00:49:21,395
- And I love you!
- And I love you!
1089
00:49:21,428 --> 00:49:23,130
You are everything!
1090
00:49:23,163 --> 00:49:26,066
- You are everything to me, babe.
- Oh.
1091
00:49:26,099 --> 00:49:28,202
I trust you more than anyone.
1092
00:49:28,235 --> 00:49:31,773
I trust you more than anyone.
1093
00:49:31,806 --> 00:49:34,208
And you're gonna have my baby.
1094
00:49:34,241 --> 00:49:35,677
- And...
- I've been thinkin'.
1095
00:49:35,710 --> 00:49:36,578
What are you thinkin'?
1096
00:49:36,611 --> 00:49:38,580
- Since this whole Maya thing.
- Uh-huh.
1097
00:49:38,613 --> 00:49:41,148
Like, "Ah, where we
gonna find a Doula now?"
1098
00:49:41,181 --> 00:49:43,651
- I know what you're thinkin'.
- I don't, I don't think we need
1099
00:49:43,685 --> 00:49:45,753
some other stranger
coming into this.
1100
00:49:45,787 --> 00:49:48,222
We don't need
anybody else comin' in
1101
00:49:48,255 --> 00:49:51,091
and coaching us
on what the truth
1102
00:49:51,124 --> 00:49:52,459
of our experience is,
1103
00:49:52,493 --> 00:49:54,394
bringing our
baby into the world.
1104
00:49:54,428 --> 00:49:58,198
I think you can be my doula.
1105
00:49:58,232 --> 00:50:00,267
I've never seen
a better doula...
1106
00:50:00,300 --> 00:50:01,101
- That makes me...
- ...than the one right in
1107
00:50:01,134 --> 00:50:04,037
- front of me.
- ...makes me wanna cry.
1108
00:50:04,071 --> 00:50:07,107
- But, you're right.
- You can take the pain.
1109
00:50:57,424 --> 00:50:59,694
We should probably get back
before it gets dark.
1110
00:51:02,262 --> 00:51:03,831
Okay.
1111
00:51:03,865 --> 00:51:05,299
Let's go.
1112
00:51:11,238 --> 00:51:13,508
No! There's not
a path over here!
1113
00:51:13,541 --> 00:51:15,442
There's not a path over here!
1114
00:51:15,475 --> 00:51:17,177
It can't be that far.
1115
00:51:17,210 --> 00:51:19,146
We were just
on the fucking path!
1116
00:51:19,179 --> 00:51:20,480
No, we weren't
just on the path.
1117
00:51:20,515 --> 00:51:21,481
We were just on the path.
1118
00:51:21,516 --> 00:51:22,650
- We were coming down it.
- By "just," do you mean
1119
00:51:22,684 --> 00:51:24,484
20 minutes ago?
1120
00:51:24,519 --> 00:51:25,853
Now we're way off!
1121
00:51:25,887 --> 00:51:28,288
- Okay.
- Would you stop going up there?
1122
00:51:28,322 --> 00:51:31,124
I really know
the path is not up there.
1123
00:51:31,158 --> 00:51:33,595
I think we might
have to go back up
1124
00:51:33,628 --> 00:51:34,762
to go back down.
1125
00:51:34,796 --> 00:51:36,531
But down is
clearly the direction
1126
00:51:36,564 --> 00:51:38,666
we need to generally be going.
1127
00:51:40,267 --> 00:51:43,170
Um.
1128
00:51:43,203 --> 00:51:44,606
Let's go, let's go this way.
1129
00:51:44,639 --> 00:51:45,439
Yeah, okay.
1130
00:51:45,472 --> 00:51:47,875
Yeah, I think down
is a good idea.
1131
00:51:47,909 --> 00:51:50,678
- Ow! Ow.
- Ow.
1132
00:51:50,712 --> 00:51:53,180
- Ah! Ah! Fuck!
- Oh, my gosh.
1133
00:51:53,213 --> 00:51:55,617
- Okay, okay.
- We're... We've gone.
1134
00:51:55,650 --> 00:51:57,518
No, we're totally
off the fucking path.
1135
00:51:57,552 --> 00:51:58,485
- I understand that.
- Will you keep your
1136
00:51:58,519 --> 00:52:01,188
- voice down?
- Can you not be condescending
1137
00:52:01,221 --> 00:52:02,322
- right now?
- I'm asking you
1138
00:52:02,356 --> 00:52:04,892
to keep your voice down
for a very practical reason
1139
00:52:04,926 --> 00:52:06,360
- because I feel like...
- Yeah, what's the practical
1140
00:52:06,393 --> 00:52:07,327
- reason?
- ...we're like,
1141
00:52:07,361 --> 00:52:09,897
like shouting, like,
"Help, we're lost."
1142
00:52:09,931 --> 00:52:12,700
Like, "Help, ow! Ow!"
1143
00:52:12,734 --> 00:52:14,636
- Okay, can, can you...
- If there are gangs out here,
1144
00:52:14,669 --> 00:52:16,203
- they're just gonna like...
- Jackie.
1145
00:52:16,236 --> 00:52:18,271
- Jackie, Jackie, Jackie!
- What?
1146
00:52:18,305 --> 00:52:21,509
Can I just talk for ten seconds
1147
00:52:21,542 --> 00:52:24,512
without you getting
all fucking vicious on me?
1148
00:52:24,545 --> 00:52:26,279
I'd like to make a suggestion.
1149
00:52:26,313 --> 00:52:28,415
Mm-hm?
1150
00:52:28,448 --> 00:52:31,418
Okay, do you
remember that podcast
1151
00:52:31,451 --> 00:52:33,286
that we were listening to
1152
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:36,223
where the two guys
went hiking in Muir Beach
1153
00:52:36,256 --> 00:52:37,959
up by San Francisco?
1154
00:52:37,992 --> 00:52:41,395
And they got up to the top,
and it was dark,
1155
00:52:41,428 --> 00:52:42,329
and one guy was like,
1156
00:52:42,362 --> 00:52:44,231
"Let's just stop here
for the night."
1157
00:52:44,264 --> 00:52:46,299
And the other guy was like,
"I'm gonna keep going.
1158
00:52:46,333 --> 00:52:47,635
- I'm just gonna push through."
- You're not suggesting
1159
00:52:47,669 --> 00:52:48,903
that we are stopping.
1160
00:52:48,936 --> 00:52:50,972
But the second guy,
the guy who kept going,
1161
00:52:51,005 --> 00:52:52,540
he fell off the fucking cliff.
1162
00:52:52,573 --> 00:52:54,441
And the guy who stayed there,
1163
00:52:54,474 --> 00:52:56,978
he found that other guy's
body the next morning
1164
00:52:57,011 --> 00:52:59,647
- with his head bashed in!
- We're not just gonna
1165
00:52:59,681 --> 00:53:01,549
sit like ducks
1166
00:53:01,582 --> 00:53:02,917
- out in the middle of the woods!
- I'm trying to do
1167
00:53:02,950 --> 00:53:04,652
the safest thing.
1168
00:53:04,686 --> 00:53:06,286
I'm trying to do
the safest thing
1169
00:53:06,319 --> 00:53:08,589
for me, and you, and our baby.
1170
00:53:08,623 --> 00:53:10,825
- And you can sleep...
- Honey, just 'cause you hit
1171
00:53:10,858 --> 00:53:11,893
one guy!
1172
00:53:11,926 --> 00:53:13,528
- You hit one guy...
- I'll put my coat on you.
1173
00:53:13,561 --> 00:53:14,796
- ...and now you think...
- I'll make a fire.
1174
00:53:14,829 --> 00:53:16,931
...if we get attacked
by multiple people,
1175
00:53:16,964 --> 00:53:18,533
or animals, or whatever,
1176
00:53:18,566 --> 00:53:20,434
that you're gonna
be able to, like,
1177
00:53:20,467 --> 00:53:21,936
get us through the night?
1178
00:53:21,969 --> 00:53:23,604
Honestly!
1179
00:53:25,506 --> 00:53:28,475
That was really mean.
1180
00:53:28,509 --> 00:53:29,443
- I'm just...
- I mean, that was,
1181
00:53:29,476 --> 00:53:30,978
that was, like...
1182
00:53:31,012 --> 00:53:34,414
Hitting that guy,
you know that was my thing.
1183
00:53:34,448 --> 00:53:35,917
- And...
- You know that that,
1184
00:53:35,950 --> 00:53:39,020
- you know what a huge...
- I know internally
1185
00:53:39,053 --> 00:53:40,555
- that that was...
- ...demarcation
1186
00:53:40,588 --> 00:53:42,557
that was to make me feel
1187
00:53:42,590 --> 00:53:44,759
like I could be a protector
1188
00:53:44,792 --> 00:53:46,794
of you, and our child,
1189
00:53:46,828 --> 00:53:49,296
- and our family, and now I do...
- Like...
1190
00:53:49,329 --> 00:53:50,397
...and now, and now I do.
1191
00:53:50,430 --> 00:53:52,867
And you said you trusted me,
you said you wanted me
1192
00:53:52,900 --> 00:53:54,669
- to be your doula!
- I didn't say that I wanted
1193
00:53:54,702 --> 00:53:56,938
- to sleep in the woods.
- It's not fucking fair!
1194
00:53:56,971 --> 00:53:59,372
I'm not a baby,
I'm not a fucking child!
1195
00:53:59,406 --> 00:54:00,975
- I'm not drawing a line.
- I'm not a goddamn junkie
1196
00:54:01,008 --> 00:54:02,442
like your father!
1197
00:54:02,476 --> 00:54:05,278
Why would you say that?
1198
00:54:05,312 --> 00:54:07,280
What? Is that an unfair thing?
1199
00:54:07,314 --> 00:54:10,350
Is that an untrue thing?
1200
00:54:10,383 --> 00:54:11,853
How...
1201
00:54:11,886 --> 00:54:13,721
I have nothing to say to you.
1202
00:54:13,755 --> 00:54:16,858
I have nothing to say to you.
1203
00:54:16,891 --> 00:54:18,993
I hope that we can
do the rest of this
1204
00:54:19,026 --> 00:54:21,996
silently, or just
part our ways out here.
1205
00:54:22,029 --> 00:54:23,564
Okay, but what if
the thing happens
1206
00:54:23,598 --> 00:54:25,032
that happened in the podcast?
1207
00:54:27,769 --> 00:54:29,737
Well, it was meant to be.
1208
00:54:41,381 --> 00:54:43,951
Look, I'm sorry, okay?
1209
00:54:43,985 --> 00:54:46,521
That shouldn't
have been aimed at you.
1210
00:54:46,554 --> 00:54:47,889
No?
1211
00:54:47,922 --> 00:54:50,558
Who should it have
been aimed at, Elliot?
1212
00:55:39,507 --> 00:55:40,541
Do you like it?
1213
00:55:40,575 --> 00:55:42,442
Yeah!
1214
00:55:42,475 --> 00:55:43,611
Sort of picks up this...
1215
00:55:43,644 --> 00:55:46,113
Does anybody need anything else?
1216
00:55:46,147 --> 00:55:48,850
More coffee, or... No.
1217
00:55:48,883 --> 00:55:51,853
When is the baby actually due?
1218
00:55:51,886 --> 00:55:53,955
Uh, one more month.
1219
00:55:53,988 --> 00:55:55,790
Four weeks.
1220
00:55:55,823 --> 00:55:56,924
No more drinks?
1221
00:55:56,958 --> 00:55:57,892
Good, we good?
1222
00:55:57,925 --> 00:55:59,459
Everybody cool?
1223
00:55:59,492 --> 00:56:00,828
For a little while.
1224
00:56:00,862 --> 00:56:03,496
I'm so worried
about your eye, honey.
1225
00:56:03,531 --> 00:56:05,398
- My eye's okay.
- Don't you think we need to put
1226
00:56:05,432 --> 00:56:06,901
- ice on it?
- No, it actually doesn't hurt
1227
00:56:06,934 --> 00:56:07,735
at all anymore.
1228
00:56:07,768 --> 00:56:09,937
It really hurt at first,
but it hurt...
1229
00:56:09,971 --> 00:56:10,905
I'll tell ya about it later.
1230
00:56:10,938 --> 00:56:12,472
- Bob?
- Hey, Dad?
1231
00:56:12,506 --> 00:56:13,841
Bob?
1232
00:56:13,875 --> 00:56:14,942
Yeah?
1233
00:56:14,976 --> 00:56:16,878
Will you come over here?
1234
00:56:16,911 --> 00:56:18,813
Sure, sure.
1235
00:56:23,017 --> 00:56:24,552
Here we go!
1236
00:56:26,787 --> 00:56:27,755
Here I am.
1237
00:56:27,788 --> 00:56:31,458
- Hey!
- Hey, thanks!
1238
00:56:31,491 --> 00:56:32,459
So.
1239
00:56:34,228 --> 00:56:37,064
I know it's weird, it's like
we've called this meeting.
1240
00:56:37,098 --> 00:56:39,499
- Here! Here!
- We've called you here...
1241
00:56:39,533 --> 00:56:42,770
- Today.
- ...today to, uh,
1242
00:56:42,803 --> 00:56:45,438
- well, I'm joking around.
- Well, we have, we have
1243
00:56:45,472 --> 00:56:48,075
because we, um...
1244
00:56:48,109 --> 00:56:49,644
We've been going through this
1245
00:56:49,677 --> 00:56:52,479
intense transformation.
1246
00:56:52,513 --> 00:56:54,882
We've been on kind of a quest.
1247
00:56:54,916 --> 00:56:56,617
- Mm.
- Hm.
1248
00:56:56,651 --> 00:57:00,922
And, um, we've had
some revelations
1249
00:57:00,955 --> 00:57:02,489
- that we'd...
- Oh!
1250
00:57:02,523 --> 00:57:04,792
And we wanted to share
those with you guys.
1251
00:57:06,861 --> 00:57:09,096
- Yeah.
- Great hummus.
1252
00:57:09,130 --> 00:57:10,765
Thank you.
1253
00:57:10,798 --> 00:57:13,200
You have anymore?
1254
00:57:13,234 --> 00:57:14,969
No.
1255
00:57:15,002 --> 00:57:16,070
- No, there's...
- That's it.
1256
00:57:16,103 --> 00:57:17,772
...there's no more hummus, Dad.
1257
00:57:17,805 --> 00:57:21,242
So when, when
is the baby coming?
1258
00:57:21,275 --> 00:57:24,512
It's in, it's in four weeks,
three and a half.
1259
00:57:24,545 --> 00:57:26,814
Ah, right, right.
1260
00:57:26,847 --> 00:57:28,716
Final countdown,
as they said.
1261
00:57:28,749 --> 00:57:31,752
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1262
00:57:31,786 --> 00:57:35,156
So, we, we have realized that
1263
00:57:35,189 --> 00:57:38,025
the thing
1264
00:57:38,059 --> 00:57:40,861
that set all this off
1265
00:57:40,895 --> 00:57:42,630
was about being parents
1266
00:57:42,663 --> 00:57:46,067
and how we feel
we've been parented.
1267
00:57:46,100 --> 00:57:50,771
- And, and, some of the...
- And...
1268
00:57:50,805 --> 00:57:55,009
...issues we might hold onto,
1269
00:57:55,042 --> 00:57:59,213
which have something
to do with, um...
1270
00:57:59,246 --> 00:58:01,282
- You.
- ...stuff, stuff... You.
1271
00:58:01,315 --> 00:58:04,151
I can't take
my eyes off your eye.
1272
00:58:04,185 --> 00:58:05,152
It's okay, it's okay.
1273
00:58:05,186 --> 00:58:07,254
- I'm okay.
- Don't you want an ice pack
1274
00:58:07,288 --> 00:58:08,089
- or something?
- I'm okay.
1275
00:58:08,122 --> 00:58:10,057
- I'm just so concerned.
- Okay, guys.
1276
00:58:10,091 --> 00:58:11,959
There are lots of good things.
1277
00:58:11,993 --> 00:58:14,295
It can hemorrhage,
you can get a hemorrhage
1278
00:58:14,328 --> 00:58:15,763
- in your eye and a blood clot.
- He's not gonna get,
1279
00:58:15,796 --> 00:58:17,031
he's not gonna
get a hemorrhage.
1280
00:58:17,064 --> 00:58:18,933
- My eye is fine.
- We do need to, you know,
1281
00:58:18,966 --> 00:58:21,902
I just... What did you wanna say?
1282
00:58:21,936 --> 00:58:24,805
We just need to be
1283
00:58:24,839 --> 00:58:28,142
- honest.
- Okay, honest, go.
1284
00:58:28,175 --> 00:58:31,579
So you have your
hand on your cheek?
1285
00:58:31,612 --> 00:58:33,047
Yeah.
1286
00:58:33,080 --> 00:58:35,182
- Um, do you wanna? Or, should I?
- I can take it off.
1287
00:58:35,216 --> 00:58:36,884
Should I?
1288
00:58:36,917 --> 00:58:38,619
- Should I? Okay.
- Okay.
1289
00:58:38,652 --> 00:58:41,555
Okay, Dad, I'm afraid of you.
1290
00:58:44,191 --> 00:58:47,128
Right now?
1291
00:58:47,161 --> 00:58:49,697
Um, always.
1292
00:58:49,730 --> 00:58:51,599
Always, I always have been.
1293
00:58:51,632 --> 00:58:54,802
Your, um, anger, um,
1294
00:58:54,835 --> 00:58:56,137
well, it scared me
when I was a kid
1295
00:58:56,170 --> 00:58:58,672
'cause I was much
smaller than you.
1296
00:58:58,706 --> 00:59:03,110
And, um, and it scares me now
1297
00:59:03,144 --> 00:59:08,082
because I don't wanna be
that way with our daughter
1298
00:59:08,115 --> 00:59:09,884
when she's born.
1299
00:59:09,917 --> 00:59:14,288
Well, get rid of that so
you don't pass it on to
1300
00:59:14,321 --> 00:59:16,157
your whippersnapper there.
1301
00:59:16,190 --> 00:59:19,593
Well, yeah, that's,
that's what I'm trying to do.
1302
00:59:19,627 --> 00:59:20,961
- Um...
- But, honey,
1303
00:59:20,995 --> 00:59:23,264
we've dealt with all that stuff.
1304
00:59:23,297 --> 00:59:28,035
Okay, but actually,
we haven't dealt with it at all.
1305
00:59:28,069 --> 00:59:30,738
Do you, do you remember
1306
00:59:30,771 --> 00:59:32,907
what he's talking about?
1307
00:59:32,940 --> 00:59:35,376
Mm, not specifically, but...
1308
00:59:35,409 --> 00:59:37,278
Do you remember all
the times when you would
1309
00:59:37,311 --> 00:59:39,613
pinch me, or you'd spank me,
1310
00:59:39,647 --> 00:59:42,683
or you'd cock a fist back
like you were gonna hit me?
1311
00:59:42,716 --> 00:59:44,618
- Do you remember that? No?
- Mm-mm.
1312
00:59:44,652 --> 00:59:46,187
- No.
- He never punched you
1313
00:59:46,220 --> 00:59:49,056
- with his fist.
- You seriously don't remember?
1314
00:59:49,090 --> 00:59:51,992
I don't remember
a lot of things.
1315
00:59:52,026 --> 00:59:54,728
- Really?
- Really.
1316
00:59:54,762 --> 00:59:56,297
- Really?
- Really.
1317
00:59:56,330 --> 00:59:58,032
- Really?
- Really!
1318
00:59:58,065 --> 00:59:59,333
It's gotta be
in there somewhere.
1319
00:59:59,366 --> 01:00:02,169
- Well, I don't remember...
- You're choosing
1320
01:00:02,203 --> 01:00:03,237
to not remember.
1321
01:00:03,270 --> 01:00:07,041
- You almost drowned him.
- Huh?
1322
01:00:07,074 --> 01:00:08,642
- Nothing.
- What do you wanna say?
1323
01:00:08,676 --> 01:00:09,677
No, no, no, no, no, no.
1324
01:00:09,710 --> 01:00:12,179
Oh, in the pool,
when you got pissed off at me
1325
01:00:12,213 --> 01:00:14,682
because you thought
I should be able to swim,
1326
01:00:14,715 --> 01:00:17,151
and I couldn't swim,
and I was scared of the water,
1327
01:00:17,184 --> 01:00:18,219
and you told me
to figure it out,
1328
01:00:18,252 --> 01:00:21,188
and you turned around
and you went back inside?
1329
01:00:21,222 --> 01:00:23,224
And you swam.
1330
01:00:23,257 --> 01:00:25,025
- Well...
- Could you not laugh?
1331
01:00:25,059 --> 01:00:27,761
Please don't laugh
about it, Richard.
1332
01:00:27,795 --> 01:00:28,796
Mom came out,
1333
01:00:28,829 --> 01:00:31,098
and she had to jump in the pool
1334
01:00:31,132 --> 01:00:33,067
with all her clothes on
and pull me out.
1335
01:00:33,100 --> 01:00:34,068
- Exactly!
- I didn't actually
1336
01:00:34,101 --> 01:00:36,904
magically learn to swim.
1337
01:00:36,937 --> 01:00:39,073
She's a better
swimmer than I am.
1338
01:00:41,442 --> 01:00:45,346
Okay, Dad, do you remember,
1339
01:00:45,379 --> 01:00:48,082
do you remember
the time in church
1340
01:00:48,115 --> 01:00:51,285
where I was six,
and you kept telling me
1341
01:00:51,318 --> 01:00:52,786
to tuck my shirt in,
1342
01:00:52,820 --> 01:00:54,088
and my shirt wouldn't stay in
1343
01:00:54,121 --> 01:00:55,956
because it was
a little too short?
1344
01:00:55,990 --> 01:00:58,092
And you pulled me
over to the side,
1345
01:00:58,125 --> 01:00:59,793
and in front of everybody,
1346
01:00:59,827 --> 01:01:01,228
you pulled my pants down,
1347
01:01:01,262 --> 01:01:02,463
and pulled my shirt down,
1348
01:01:02,496 --> 01:01:06,901
and then you pulled my pants,
like, almost up to my chest?
1349
01:01:06,934 --> 01:01:07,801
Do you remember that?
1350
01:01:07,835 --> 01:01:10,304
Yeah, did we get
your shirt tucked in?
1351
01:01:16,744 --> 01:01:18,913
- I'm just gonna run and get...
- Mom?
1352
01:01:18,946 --> 01:01:21,015
Mom, Mom, Mom, stop, please?
1353
01:01:21,048 --> 01:01:22,983
Please put that down.
1354
01:01:23,017 --> 01:01:24,084
Please put that down.
1355
01:01:24,118 --> 01:01:25,152
You're just tryin' to clean up
1356
01:01:25,186 --> 01:01:26,387
because you're
conflict avoidant,
1357
01:01:26,420 --> 01:01:28,155
and that's always
been your issue,
1358
01:01:28,189 --> 01:01:29,790
and it's crippled you
as a human being.
1359
01:01:29,823 --> 01:01:31,859
Conflict avoidant?
Well, I don't know about that.
1360
01:01:31,892 --> 01:01:35,262
Please stop, please stop!
1361
01:01:35,296 --> 01:01:38,032
I think you need to calm down,
1362
01:01:38,065 --> 01:01:39,333
buster.
1363
01:01:39,366 --> 01:01:41,769
- We're calm!
- We're,
1364
01:01:41,802 --> 01:01:43,971
we are in a safe space.
1365
01:01:44,004 --> 01:01:46,173
- This is a safe space.
- This is a safe space
1366
01:01:46,207 --> 01:01:49,109
- for us to just...
- This is not a safe place.
1367
01:01:49,143 --> 01:01:51,011
This is a safe space
1368
01:01:51,045 --> 01:01:53,214
- to talk about what's really...
- This is the most unsafe place
1369
01:01:53,247 --> 01:01:55,382
I've ever been in my whole life.
1370
01:01:55,416 --> 01:01:57,451
There is nothing
safe about this!
1371
01:01:57,484 --> 01:01:59,186
This is a safe space!
1372
01:01:59,220 --> 01:02:00,955
What does that mean,
a safe space?
1373
01:02:00,988 --> 01:02:02,122
It's not a safe place.
1374
01:02:02,156 --> 01:02:04,258
There's no such thing
as a safe place!
1375
01:02:04,291 --> 01:02:06,260
- What is a safe place?
- This is a family safe place
1376
01:02:06,293 --> 01:02:08,762
to just say everything
you gotta say!
1377
01:02:08,796 --> 01:02:11,031
Dad, I think you're petrified.
1378
01:02:11,065 --> 01:02:12,900
I think you're
fucking petrified,
1379
01:02:12,933 --> 01:02:14,835
and I just wanna
create a safe space
1380
01:02:14,868 --> 01:02:16,036
to talk about why you're scared.
1381
01:02:16,070 --> 01:02:20,908
I'm just frightened to death,
so how we gonna help me?
1382
01:02:20,941 --> 01:02:23,010
- What happened to you?
- When?
1383
01:02:23,043 --> 01:02:25,012
When you were a kid?
1384
01:02:25,045 --> 01:02:27,948
I got the shit beat outta me.
1385
01:02:31,118 --> 01:02:32,820
I got hit with a fist,
1386
01:02:32,853 --> 01:02:34,421
I got hit with a belt,
1387
01:02:34,455 --> 01:02:36,223
I got hit with a stick.
1388
01:02:36,257 --> 01:02:40,995
I got hit with
whatever was available.
1389
01:02:41,028 --> 01:02:43,931
You don't know real fear
1390
01:02:43,964 --> 01:02:47,101
until you met my dad
when he was younger.
1391
01:02:49,136 --> 01:02:52,239
He'd come home from a trip,
and I don't know where
1392
01:02:52,273 --> 01:02:53,907
the rage was coming from,
1393
01:02:53,941 --> 01:02:58,812
but this guy came
like a fucking lion
1394
01:02:58,846 --> 01:03:01,181
out of nowhere!
1395
01:03:01,215 --> 01:03:03,817
And he would beat
the shit out of me,
1396
01:03:03,851 --> 01:03:08,222
and then he'd leave again
for three days.
1397
01:03:08,255 --> 01:03:11,892
All I knew about
being a parent is
1398
01:03:11,925 --> 01:03:14,128
how he parented me.
1399
01:03:16,463 --> 01:03:19,199
What else is there?
1400
01:03:24,171 --> 01:03:26,473
Well, I, I, I gotta go.
1401
01:03:26,508 --> 01:03:27,975
Dad, no you don't.
1402
01:03:28,008 --> 01:03:30,844
Well, I gotta go soon.
1403
01:03:30,878 --> 01:03:32,146
Real soon.
1404
01:03:32,179 --> 01:03:34,114
I know we haven't,
1405
01:03:34,148 --> 01:03:35,149
I haven't talked to you yet,
1406
01:03:35,182 --> 01:03:39,053
but I do, I do need you to stay
1407
01:03:39,086 --> 01:03:40,321
because...
1408
01:03:40,354 --> 01:03:42,156
I don't wanna talk
about that other thing.
1409
01:03:42,189 --> 01:03:44,992
Well, we are going
to talk about it
1410
01:03:45,025 --> 01:03:47,394
because this is an open forum.
1411
01:03:47,428 --> 01:03:49,531
It's open forum day.
1412
01:03:49,564 --> 01:03:53,200
And the whole
reason that I got
1413
01:03:53,233 --> 01:03:56,970
sent up on this quest
1414
01:03:57,004 --> 01:04:00,240
was because of your text.
1415
01:04:00,274 --> 01:04:02,309
What text?
1416
01:04:02,343 --> 01:04:04,546
Where you asked us
to pay your rent?
1417
01:04:04,579 --> 01:04:05,547
Mm.
1418
01:04:08,282 --> 01:04:11,653
That's why we're here?
1419
01:04:11,686 --> 01:04:15,089
I'm, I'm sorry I,
1420
01:04:15,122 --> 01:04:16,591
I got backed up.
1421
01:04:16,624 --> 01:04:18,425
I got behind.
1422
01:04:18,459 --> 01:04:19,993
I got behind,
1423
01:04:20,027 --> 01:04:22,963
and that's what family's for.
1424
01:04:22,996 --> 01:04:24,932
Family's there
to help each other.
1425
01:04:24,965 --> 01:04:27,234
I helped you when
you were a little baby.
1426
01:04:27,267 --> 01:04:29,370
Dad, the...
1427
01:04:29,403 --> 01:04:31,338
Can we talk about the pills?
1428
01:04:31,372 --> 01:04:33,374
And the relapse?
1429
01:04:33,407 --> 01:04:35,643
And the fact that
this is the fourth time
1430
01:04:35,677 --> 01:04:37,211
in the last two years
1431
01:04:37,244 --> 01:04:39,647
that you've hit us up for money?
1432
01:04:39,681 --> 01:04:42,650
I'm not a drug addict.
1433
01:04:42,684 --> 01:04:46,220
I have a pain problem
1434
01:04:46,253 --> 01:04:47,354
with my back.
1435
01:04:47,388 --> 01:04:49,591
Had an accident many years ago,
1436
01:04:49,624 --> 01:04:52,292
and sometimes it's
hard to maintain
1437
01:04:52,326 --> 01:04:55,963
the right, you know, balance.
1438
01:04:55,996 --> 01:04:57,030
But, Dad...
1439
01:04:57,064 --> 01:05:00,134
I needed the money
'cause I needed the money!
1440
01:05:00,167 --> 01:05:02,403
And I don't appreciate
you bringing it up.
1441
01:05:02,436 --> 01:05:06,373
- How many pills are you taking?
- I take it as prescribed.
1442
01:05:06,407 --> 01:05:08,475
What is prescribed?
1443
01:05:08,510 --> 01:05:12,146
I don't know.
1444
01:05:12,179 --> 01:05:14,047
I'm sorry, just kill me, okay?
1445
01:05:14,081 --> 01:05:14,948
Just fucking kill me?
1446
01:05:14,982 --> 01:05:17,050
Why don't I just
fucking kill myself?
1447
01:05:17,084 --> 01:05:18,520
Then it'd be over, then you
wouldn't have to... You could
1448
01:05:18,553 --> 01:05:20,254
- raise your kid by yourself.
- Whoa!
1449
01:05:20,287 --> 01:05:22,022
- Okay, Bob...
- I don't give a fuck!
1450
01:05:22,055 --> 01:05:22,956
- Dad!
- Do you understand how
1451
01:05:22,990 --> 01:05:23,991
narcissistic you're being
1452
01:05:24,024 --> 01:05:25,560
- right now?
- Narcissistic.
1453
01:05:25,593 --> 01:05:27,629
- Fuck you!
- Yeah!
1454
01:05:27,662 --> 01:05:30,197
Yeah, I mean,
we drive down here
1455
01:05:30,230 --> 01:05:32,399
five hours to come here,
1456
01:05:32,433 --> 01:05:33,701
and take you out,
1457
01:05:33,735 --> 01:05:36,336
and have a great
time to celebrate
1458
01:05:36,370 --> 01:05:38,405
the birth of our grandkid,
1459
01:05:38,439 --> 01:05:41,709
and you, you wanna have
an inquisition with us
1460
01:05:41,743 --> 01:05:44,746
about the parents that we were
1461
01:05:44,779 --> 01:05:46,581
years and years ago,
1462
01:05:46,614 --> 01:05:48,282
when we didn't know any better?
1463
01:05:48,315 --> 01:05:50,217
We didn't have these
parenting classes,
1464
01:05:50,250 --> 01:05:54,522
this RIE, RIE parenting classes,
whatever the heck
1465
01:05:54,556 --> 01:05:55,590
it was you went to...
You don't understand
1466
01:05:55,623 --> 01:05:58,025
- how different it was.
- I was out on the streets
1467
01:05:58,058 --> 01:05:58,992
when I was a kid.
1468
01:05:59,026 --> 01:06:01,361
I was sellin' papers
on a paper corner,
1469
01:06:01,395 --> 01:06:05,365
on a corner when
I was nine years old.
1470
01:06:05,399 --> 01:06:07,569
- It's different!
- It's real different.
1471
01:06:07,602 --> 01:06:09,236
I had to walk to school,
1472
01:06:09,269 --> 01:06:12,005
miles, when I was
seven years old!
1473
01:06:12,039 --> 01:06:12,874
They would just put me out.
1474
01:06:12,907 --> 01:06:14,274
I mean, anything
could have happened,
1475
01:06:14,308 --> 01:06:15,375
and bad things did happen!
1476
01:06:15,409 --> 01:06:18,680
Yeah, you can't teach
somebody to climb a tree.
1477
01:06:18,713 --> 01:06:22,282
I fell out of a tree!
1478
01:06:22,316 --> 01:06:24,619
That's right, you gotta
learn to climb the tree.
1479
01:06:24,652 --> 01:06:26,487
Cut my ear, I still have a scar.
1480
01:06:26,521 --> 01:06:28,222
Oh, I'll tell you
another thing that happened.
1481
01:06:28,255 --> 01:06:30,692
They would give me a dog,
my mother would give me a dog.
1482
01:06:30,725 --> 01:06:33,193
I'd fall in love with the dog,
I'd have the dog for six months,
1483
01:06:33,227 --> 01:06:35,797
then Daddy would come home,
and give the dog away!
1484
01:06:35,830 --> 01:06:38,600
On Christmas Eve, once,
I had a dog named Stray.
1485
01:06:38,633 --> 01:06:40,200
They gave the dog away
on Christmas Eve,
1486
01:06:40,234 --> 01:06:41,636
and my mother said, "Oh,
1487
01:06:41,669 --> 01:06:43,738
it's a good time to
give the dog to the pound
1488
01:06:43,771 --> 01:06:46,106
because on Christmas,
people will be goin' to get
1489
01:06:46,139 --> 01:06:47,407
dogs for their children."
1490
01:06:47,441 --> 01:06:49,544
You wonder why I didn't want
you to have a dog growin' up?
1491
01:06:49,577 --> 01:06:52,145
- I couldn't bear it!
- It's a different world
1492
01:06:52,179 --> 01:06:53,615
that you're living in
1493
01:06:53,648 --> 01:06:56,450
from the world we
lived in and grew up in.
1494
01:06:56,483 --> 01:06:59,621
And you really don't know
what it was like.
1495
01:06:59,654 --> 01:07:01,523
And feelings, I mean,
it's a luxury,
1496
01:07:01,556 --> 01:07:03,257
it's a privilege
to have feelings,
1497
01:07:03,290 --> 01:07:04,458
to be able to discuss feelings.
1498
01:07:04,491 --> 01:07:08,228
If I would have stopped to
talk to my dad about feelings,
1499
01:07:08,262 --> 01:07:09,764
he woulda knocked me for a loop!
1500
01:07:09,797 --> 01:07:11,533
I didn't even know
I had feelings.
1501
01:07:11,566 --> 01:07:15,068
- What are feelings, man?
- Feelings.
1502
01:07:15,102 --> 01:07:17,271
Good luck!
1503
01:07:17,304 --> 01:07:19,206
Is that what you want,
is you want, you want,
1504
01:07:19,239 --> 01:07:22,442
you guys want,
you want an apology?
1505
01:07:22,476 --> 01:07:24,278
I'll apologize to you.
1506
01:07:24,311 --> 01:07:27,347
I'll look right into
your eyes right now,
1507
01:07:27,381 --> 01:07:29,551
and I am so sorry
1508
01:07:29,584 --> 01:07:31,786
for all the times
that I ever hurt you,
1509
01:07:31,819 --> 01:07:34,321
and all the times that I ever
1510
01:07:34,354 --> 01:07:36,089
made you upset,
1511
01:07:36,123 --> 01:07:37,157
and all the times...
1512
01:07:37,190 --> 01:07:38,660
I'll apologize for him too.
1513
01:07:38,693 --> 01:07:39,561
I hated it when he
1514
01:07:39,594 --> 01:07:41,461
- threatened you.
- Is that what you want?
1515
01:07:41,495 --> 01:07:43,263
For us to tell you we're sorry?
1516
01:07:43,297 --> 01:07:45,867
- Tell him! Apologize to him.
- I mean, okay, I'm sorry
1517
01:07:45,900 --> 01:07:47,267
if I hurt you.
1518
01:07:47,301 --> 01:07:48,068
I'm sorry.
1519
01:07:48,101 --> 01:07:49,771
But say it,
say it like you mean it.
1520
01:07:49,804 --> 01:07:52,707
I am sorry if I hurt you.
1521
01:07:56,744 --> 01:07:58,846
See?
1522
01:07:58,880 --> 01:08:01,716
He is sorry.
1523
01:08:01,749 --> 01:08:03,450
This is a good man,
1524
01:08:03,483 --> 01:08:05,385
and he loves you.
1525
01:08:09,389 --> 01:08:10,825
You doin' okay, Dad?
1526
01:08:15,462 --> 01:08:16,831
I'm sorry.
1527
01:08:18,465 --> 01:08:22,302
Dad, Dad, look at me.
1528
01:08:22,336 --> 01:08:25,138
How many pills are you at?
1529
01:08:25,172 --> 01:08:26,507
How many?
1530
01:08:30,612 --> 01:08:33,881
I don't know!
1531
01:08:33,915 --> 01:08:35,550
I don't know.
1532
01:08:35,583 --> 01:08:36,718
Dad.
1533
01:08:38,653 --> 01:08:40,755
I don't know!
1534
01:08:40,788 --> 01:08:44,191
I take 'em, I take 'em,
I just, it doesn't...
1535
01:08:44,224 --> 01:08:46,393
I take 'em as needed!
1536
01:08:46,426 --> 01:08:48,428
And I need a lot.
1537
01:08:48,462 --> 01:08:50,565
I need a lot.
1538
01:08:55,202 --> 01:08:56,671
Will you go to rehab?
1539
01:09:04,512 --> 01:09:06,814
Okay.
1540
01:09:06,848 --> 01:09:08,816
Yeah?
1541
01:09:08,850 --> 01:09:11,451
Yeah.
1542
01:09:11,485 --> 01:09:14,354
I'll go to the meetings,
I'll do whatever I can.
1543
01:09:14,388 --> 01:09:15,389
I'll do anything!
1544
01:09:15,422 --> 01:09:17,592
I'm gonna throw these
freakin' pills away.
1545
01:09:17,625 --> 01:09:19,594
Here! Take 'em,
1546
01:09:19,627 --> 01:09:21,896
and flush 'em away.
1547
01:09:21,929 --> 01:09:24,364
This is it, this is
day one... day zero.
1548
01:09:24,398 --> 01:09:26,868
Tomorrow's day one.
1549
01:09:26,901 --> 01:09:29,604
Dad.
1550
01:09:29,637 --> 01:09:32,239
If you mean it,
1551
01:09:32,272 --> 01:09:34,307
it would really
mean a lot to me.
1552
01:09:37,545 --> 01:09:38,880
I mean it!
1553
01:09:41,549 --> 01:09:43,651
But I don't know.
1554
01:09:48,321 --> 01:09:50,390
But I wanna see your baby.
1555
01:09:56,363 --> 01:09:59,634
I'm excited for you
to be a grandpa.
1556
01:10:02,570 --> 01:10:04,304
I don't wanna miss that!
1557
01:10:04,337 --> 01:10:07,374
I don't want you to miss that.
1558
01:10:07,407 --> 01:10:10,377
We don't want
you guys to miss it.
1559
01:10:10,410 --> 01:10:12,279
That's why we wanted to
1560
01:10:12,312 --> 01:10:14,649
talk to you because
it's important to us
1561
01:10:14,682 --> 01:10:17,852
that you're in our kid's life.
1562
01:10:42,844 --> 01:10:44,779
Oh, that's weird.
1563
01:10:44,812 --> 01:10:46,313
Ooh!
1564
01:10:49,517 --> 01:10:52,019
Oh, my God, I have
to go to the bathroom.
1565
01:10:52,053 --> 01:10:53,654
You okay?
1566
01:10:53,688 --> 01:10:55,757
Ooh, I gotta go.
1567
01:10:55,790 --> 01:10:58,025
Uh, okay.
1568
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:02,029
I'll be right back.
1569
01:11:49,877 --> 01:11:51,846
Uh, honey?
1570
01:11:51,879 --> 01:11:53,346
Can you come up here?
1571
01:11:53,380 --> 01:11:54,849
I'll be right back.
1572
01:11:59,120 --> 01:12:01,055
Wow.
1573
01:12:01,088 --> 01:12:03,658
What the fuck was that?
1574
01:12:03,691 --> 01:12:05,293
I don't know.
1575
01:12:08,696 --> 01:12:10,463
- Hey.
- Hey.
1576
01:12:10,497 --> 01:12:12,834
You okay?
1577
01:12:12,867 --> 01:12:14,434
It's starting.
1578
01:12:14,467 --> 01:12:15,970
It's star...
1579
01:12:16,003 --> 01:12:19,472
Oh, like, it's
starting right now?
1580
01:12:19,507 --> 01:12:22,844
Yeah, right now.
1581
01:12:22,877 --> 01:12:25,613
Okay.
1582
01:12:25,646 --> 01:12:26,948
Okay.
1583
01:12:29,617 --> 01:12:30,952
Awesome!
1584
01:12:33,087 --> 01:12:35,790
Awesome.
1585
01:12:38,860 --> 01:12:40,127
Oh!
1586
01:13:18,666 --> 01:13:19,567
Are you okay?
1587
01:13:19,600 --> 01:13:20,601
- No.
- Are you okay?
1588
01:13:20,635 --> 01:13:23,638
I'm really stressed,
and I'm really tired.
1589
01:13:23,671 --> 01:13:24,739
Oh, okay.
1590
01:13:24,772 --> 01:13:25,873
My white blood cell count
1591
01:13:25,907 --> 01:13:27,208
- is not doing well.
- No, I know.
1592
01:13:27,241 --> 01:13:28,408
You need to not stress out.
1593
01:13:28,441 --> 01:13:31,112
- I can't be stressed out!
- You need to not stress out.
1594
01:13:31,145 --> 01:13:32,947
I know I need to not stress out!
1595
01:13:32,980 --> 01:13:36,717
- Just, so just calm down!
- So I know, so you...
1596
01:13:41,923 --> 01:13:44,659
Okay, let's try it again.
1597
01:14:03,210 --> 01:14:05,579
Wait a second, 'cause we can
figure this out mathematically.
1598
01:14:05,613 --> 01:14:08,883
- Let's go that way.
- The city lights are there.
1599
01:14:08,916 --> 01:14:10,851
The moon is there.
1600
01:14:10,885 --> 01:14:12,887
Do you remember
where our car was
1601
01:14:12,920 --> 01:14:14,588
in relation to the moon?
1602
01:14:17,992 --> 01:14:20,795
Do you remember
where our car was...
1603
01:14:20,828 --> 01:14:22,663
I peed my pants.
1604
01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:27,868
Hey, stop.
1605
01:14:40,648 --> 01:14:42,283
Eighty-eight,
eighty-nine,
1606
01:14:42,316 --> 01:14:44,785
ninety, ninety-one,
ninety-two,
1607
01:14:44,819 --> 01:14:47,288
ninety-three,
ninety-four, ninety-five,
1608
01:14:47,321 --> 01:14:49,056
ninety-six, ninety-seven,
1609
01:14:49,090 --> 01:14:50,992
ninety-eight, ninety-nine.
1610
01:15:25,760 --> 01:15:26,861
That's good, hold up.
1611
01:15:26,894 --> 01:15:28,295
Hold on, just like that.
1612
01:15:28,329 --> 01:15:30,564
- Hold on just like...
- Don't take a picture!
1613
01:15:30,598 --> 01:15:31,432
We don't need a picture,
1614
01:15:31,465 --> 01:15:32,867
- this is for us!
- Let me take a picture!
1615
01:15:32,900 --> 01:15:34,201
No, that goes to the cloud.
1616
01:15:34,235 --> 01:15:35,302
I'm about to let you fuck me.
1617
01:15:35,336 --> 01:15:37,671
- Let me take a picture.
- Yeah, this is different.
1618
01:15:37,705 --> 01:15:38,572
It's not on the cloud.
1619
01:15:38,606 --> 01:15:40,775
- You swear your phone?
- I swear to God
1620
01:15:40,808 --> 01:15:41,709
it's not on the cloud.
1621
01:15:41,742 --> 01:15:44,912
'Cause this is not
for social media.
1622
01:15:57,013 --> 01:15:58,818
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https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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