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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,799 Previously on Californication: 2 00:00:10,977 --> 00:00:13,002 - Oh, hi. - Please, stay. 3 00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:16,774 We need to get to know one another. I mean, our paths are gonna be crossing. 4 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,440 This is so great. 5 00:00:18,618 --> 00:00:22,520 He would pay you a million dollars to sleep with you? 6 00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:26,181 Well, consider this a signing bonus, 10 percent up front. 7 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:29,419 This kind of cash could get us out of all of our immediate debt. 8 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:32,429 I wanna talk about Becca. When will you tell her about Levon? 9 00:00:32,599 --> 00:00:34,066 - When is she back? - A few weeks. 10 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,566 - In a few weeks, then. - You guys aren't together? 11 00:00:36,736 --> 00:00:38,294 - No. - I asked him about Julia. 12 00:00:38,471 --> 00:00:41,406 He said he wasn't involved with her. Next, he was inside of her. 13 00:00:41,574 --> 00:00:44,065 Are you guys back together? That would be incredible. 14 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:46,405 It's like the world's greatest love story. 15 00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:50,216 Hank, I love you, but I can't be with you. 16 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:03,155 Killing bad guys is my business... 17 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:07,199 ...and business is ******* cracking. 18 00:01:24,784 --> 00:01:26,183 How was it? 19 00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:29,014 It wasn't very good, was it? 20 00:01:29,189 --> 00:01:32,181 Are you fucking kidding me right now, Mom? It sucked hard. 21 00:01:33,026 --> 00:01:36,291 I can't believe I even work for that show. I deserve way better. 22 00:01:36,463 --> 00:01:38,658 I hope your episode's better than that atrocity. 23 00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,857 Can't promise anything. 24 00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,793 Whatever. 25 00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:45,802 - Going to bed. - Good night, buddy. 26 00:01:46,306 --> 00:01:48,740 - Love you. - Night. Love you. 27 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:02,012 - Hi. - Hi. 28 00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:04,179 We haven't been alone in a long time. 29 00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:08,020 Which explains why my wiener feels so weird right now. 30 00:02:22,942 --> 00:02:24,569 Mom? 31 00:02:26,913 --> 00:02:28,403 What, honey? 32 00:02:28,581 --> 00:02:32,813 - Is it cool if I? - What? 33 00:02:33,920 --> 00:02:35,979 - What the fuck is he saying? - I don't know. 34 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,714 Can I sleep in the annex? 35 00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,855 What the fuck is the annex? What the fuck are you holding? 36 00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,622 This is my lovey. It's like my favorite blanket. 37 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:47,163 I've had it since I was a little fucking baby. 38 00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:52,161 - If you really think you need to. - I do. I'm really worried about the future. 39 00:02:52,338 --> 00:02:55,000 - Our future, all of us. - Why? 40 00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:56,506 Show's gonna get canceled... 41 00:02:56,676 --> 00:02:59,372 ...sooner rather than later, and then what are we gonna do? 42 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:02,344 Well, you just stick a pin in that and go off to the annex... 43 00:03:02,515 --> 00:03:05,040 ...and get a good night's sleep. - Okay. 44 00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:08,988 Whoa, this is the annex, right here? 45 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,287 What the fuck? You still breast-feeding too? 46 00:03:13,726 --> 00:03:15,318 I wish. 47 00:03:15,495 --> 00:03:18,521 Thanks, Mom. Good night. 48 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,632 Good night, Dad. 49 00:03:22,135 --> 00:03:23,602 Good night. 50 00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:23,326 Gather around, people. Gather around, gather around. 51 00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,567 - Yeah, so we're canceled. - No. 52 00:04:32,739 --> 00:04:35,139 One and out. Holy shit. 53 00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:39,172 Sorry, did I say that out loud? I gotta go call Gersh. 54 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:46,112 Technically speaking, we've been asked to shut down production and go on hiatus. 55 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,413 I mean, hiatus sounds good, you know? 56 00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:50,351 I could use a break from this grind. 57 00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:53,856 Oh, you're gonna have a nice long break, all right, Hashtag. 58 00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:56,894 Look. 59 00:04:57,330 --> 00:05:00,527 We threw a party, nobody showed up. It happens. 60 00:05:01,934 --> 00:05:03,925 It's been a blast. 61 00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:07,434 Actually, this hasn't been a blast. This has been a pain in the ass. 62 00:05:07,607 --> 00:05:10,007 Thankfully a relatively short pain in the ass. 63 00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:15,341 Learn from this, people, okay? Take it with you to the next job... 64 00:05:15,515 --> 00:05:18,177 ...and appreciate what you have while you have it... 65 00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:21,252 ...because usually it ends just like this. 66 00:05:21,421 --> 00:05:25,016 Whoa, whoa, whoa, aren't we gonna fight this shit? 67 00:05:25,825 --> 00:05:27,850 No, we're not gonna fight this shit, Levon. 68 00:05:28,027 --> 00:05:30,086 They can't cancel our show after one episode. 69 00:05:30,263 --> 00:05:32,697 Yo, this tubby motherfucker is speaking the truth. 70 00:05:32,865 --> 00:05:35,561 America voted, Hashtag. They don't like your shit. 71 00:05:37,103 --> 00:05:39,799 - That really hurts my feelings. - Come on, it's all right. 72 00:05:39,972 --> 00:05:42,941 You'll live to butcher someone else's dialogue another day. 73 00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:45,407 That's the beauty of this business of show... 74 00:05:45,578 --> 00:05:48,274 ...how many chances we get to fuck it up all over again. 75 00:05:49,582 --> 00:05:50,708 Many. 76 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:57,885 All right, I will be in my office drinking, if anyone wants to say goodbye. 77 00:06:03,196 --> 00:06:06,632 I understand. I'm sorry, Hank. 78 00:06:08,134 --> 00:06:09,965 What's wrong? 79 00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:15,530 Santa Monica Cop got canceled. 80 00:06:15,708 --> 00:06:20,145 Lovely. There goes that pathetic fucking trickle of a revenue stream. 81 00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:22,975 I am sure I can get Hank on another show. 82 00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:28,143 Oh, God, Charlie, I have to fuck Stu. 83 00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,549 I know it's upsetting, baby. 84 00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:37,955 I'm crying because I know you have to fuck Stu. 85 00:06:39,232 --> 00:06:42,793 I'm crying because I can't even fucking provide for you and our son. 86 00:06:42,969 --> 00:06:46,097 I'm crying because our life is so fucking pathetic right now... 87 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:49,833 ...it seems like this is the only option. - So now it's my turn to provide. 88 00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:52,273 Big fucking deal. 89 00:06:52,445 --> 00:06:56,404 I just have to go out and shtup my ex so we can make the rent. 90 00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:01,485 There's worse things, I guess. 91 00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:03,485 I'm gonna fucking kill myself! 92 00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,154 Don't kill yourself, baby. 93 00:07:06,325 --> 00:07:09,692 Don't you think our son has enough shit to deal with about his old man... 94 00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:12,126 ...you're gonna throw in paternal suicide too? 95 00:07:12,298 --> 00:07:14,391 That's true. You're right. 96 00:07:14,567 --> 00:07:16,398 When you're right, you're right. 97 00:07:16,569 --> 00:07:18,298 I just don't think I can stay here... 98 00:07:18,471 --> 00:07:21,531 ...knowing you're out there fucking Stu without hurting myself. 99 00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,637 I have an idea. 100 00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,971 - You're not gonna do it? - No, I'm gonna do it. 101 00:07:26,412 --> 00:07:27,709 I'm gonna do it. 102 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:32,010 But I think that maybe you should do it too. 103 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:35,212 Fuck Stu? 104 00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,417 No, you idiot. Fuck someone else. 105 00:07:38,591 --> 00:07:41,560 If you have to deal with the unpleasantness of me fucking Stu... 106 00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:44,423 ...I think it's only fair that... 107 00:07:45,331 --> 00:07:48,164 ...you should get to fuck somebody else too. 108 00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:49,926 Really? 109 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,729 - Yes. - I'm intrigued. 110 00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:55,464 Continue, please. 111 00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,044 Just once... 112 00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:01,908 ...and I don't wanna know about it. 113 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:06,040 I'm serious. You keep that shit to yourself. 114 00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:09,052 I have a confession to make. 115 00:08:12,191 --> 00:08:14,056 I'm incredibly hard right now. 116 00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:16,222 Really? 117 00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:20,259 That's funny, because I'm incredibly wet right now. 118 00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,067 Are we sick people? 119 00:08:24,237 --> 00:08:27,070 I think that goes without saying. 120 00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:29,803 Should we bone? 121 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,534 I think that goes without saying. 122 00:08:33,012 --> 00:08:34,775 Gotta move fast. I have 10 minutes... 123 00:08:34,947 --> 00:08:38,383 ...before I have to pick up Stuart and get him to speech therapy. 124 00:08:46,926 --> 00:08:48,393 Hey. 125 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:51,359 - May I? - I insist. 126 00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:00,296 Ever thought about giving up all this television-writing hoo-ha... 127 00:09:00,473 --> 00:09:02,634 ...and getting back to your music? 128 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:06,037 Fuck that, this is the only thing I have that's actually pure. 129 00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:10,642 The second you try and get serious about something, it loses all its magic. 130 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,981 Word to your mother. 131 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:17,287 - What's next? - I have a deal with the studio. 132 00:09:17,456 --> 00:09:21,916 They'll ask me to step in and save some other fucking disaster... 133 00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:25,996 ...or write another pilot. Same shit, different year, you know. 134 00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:28,224 Gotta keep the pool heated, right? 135 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,928 - So my son can defile it some more? - Yeah. 136 00:09:32,505 --> 00:09:35,065 The real question is, what's next for Hank Moody? 137 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:36,640 Fuck if I know, man. 138 00:09:36,809 --> 00:09:40,108 You know, I don't think you should go work on another show. 139 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,140 - You don't think I have what it takes? - No, you have it. 140 00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,580 It's just a waste of what you have. 141 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,582 I think you should write your own show. 142 00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:51,684 Well, I appreciate that, but I... I don't know what I'd write about. 143 00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:55,020 I don't know about cops or lawyers or doctors. 144 00:09:55,194 --> 00:09:56,661 No, no, no, fuck that shit. 145 00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,990 Write about what you do know. Write about you. 146 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:02,230 Write about your fucked-up friends. 147 00:10:02,401 --> 00:10:05,598 Write about your kids, the ones you know about. 148 00:10:05,771 --> 00:10:07,636 - Write about Karen. - And Julia. 149 00:10:07,807 --> 00:10:11,402 Write about Julia. Just leave a little room in there... 150 00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:14,205 ...for someone to swoop in and steal her away. 151 00:10:14,380 --> 00:10:16,211 Just a little. 152 00:10:18,718 --> 00:10:20,447 Think about it. 153 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,379 I will. 154 00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:05,696 Hey, pretty lady. 155 00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:07,196 Hey there, sailor. 156 00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,399 - Charlie. - Lisa. 157 00:11:14,407 --> 00:11:17,001 What's the matter, Charlie? You seem a little nervous. 158 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,144 I am, I am, I'm a little nervous, yeah. 159 00:11:19,311 --> 00:11:22,474 - More than I thought I would be. - What's there to be nervous about? 160 00:11:22,648 --> 00:11:26,414 - You're just a guy talking to a girl. - I suppose you're right. Yeah. 161 00:11:26,585 --> 00:11:28,450 - Can I buy you a drink? - Sure. 162 00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,350 - I like drinks. - Krull? 163 00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:32,354 Whatever the lady would like. 164 00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:34,891 The lady wants a Jager shot. 165 00:11:36,762 --> 00:11:39,731 Same for the gentleman, I guess. 166 00:12:04,123 --> 00:12:05,681 Married? 167 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:08,292 This old thing? 168 00:12:10,062 --> 00:12:12,553 We have kind of an arrangement, yeah. 169 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:16,293 - That's cool. I have a boyfriend. - Right on, right on. 170 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:19,837 So, what did you have in mind? 171 00:12:22,274 --> 00:12:24,799 A liaison, perhaps? 172 00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:26,774 Oh, liaison? 173 00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:29,471 I know a cheap little motel close by. 174 00:12:29,648 --> 00:12:32,617 - Really? What would you do? - Do? 175 00:12:32,785 --> 00:12:34,650 To me in a cheap hotel? 176 00:12:34,820 --> 00:12:37,152 To you, well, you know, first I would kiss you. 177 00:12:37,323 --> 00:12:39,314 No kissing. Not hot, not for a liaison. 178 00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,323 No kissing. Okay. 179 00:12:41,494 --> 00:12:45,692 I would... I would fondle your boobs. 180 00:12:46,232 --> 00:12:47,722 Right? Because, you know. 181 00:12:47,900 --> 00:12:51,495 And then I would maybe get a sense of your ass, you know. 182 00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:55,470 And then I suppose my penis would make an appearance. 183 00:12:56,909 --> 00:13:00,174 Yeah, I would put it in your mouth. And then I might take it out again. 184 00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:03,440 Maybe I'd slap you on the forehead with it a little bit for fun. 185 00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,949 - Just for fun. - Wow, you're a dirty little birdie, Charlie. 186 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:10,111 - You have no idea, Lisa. - Really? What else? I like this game. 187 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:13,156 Okay, I'd pull down your pants. I'd tear off your panties... 188 00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:15,156 ...and stuff them in your mouth. - Nice. 189 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:18,194 Wrap the phone cord around your neck. Not too hard, of course. 190 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:20,195 - Of course. - I would like to, you know... 191 00:13:20,366 --> 00:13:22,630 - Rough is fun. - Holy shit. 192 00:13:24,904 --> 00:13:28,135 You know what? You may just be my sexual soul mate. 193 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,003 - Oh, that's sweet. - And then I'd take you from behind. 194 00:13:31,177 --> 00:13:33,145 I would fucking... Oh, no, no, scratch that. 195 00:13:33,312 --> 00:13:36,042 Not from behind because that's... It gets me going too much. 196 00:13:36,215 --> 00:13:38,740 It's too good. Yeah, like two seconds, and I'd be done. 197 00:13:38,918 --> 00:13:41,386 - No, we wouldn't want that. - No, no. You know what? 198 00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:45,547 Allow me to demonstrate something for you that I like to call "la Runkle." 199 00:13:45,724 --> 00:13:47,885 - Come here, stand up. Look at this. - Okay. 200 00:13:48,060 --> 00:13:51,052 I find that if I move in little circles... 201 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:54,028 ...it keeps me in the game far longer, far longer. 202 00:13:54,200 --> 00:13:56,760 This simple change from this to that... 203 00:13:56,936 --> 00:14:00,064 ...and it makes me last a little bit longer. 204 00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:04,899 - What the fuck is this? - I beg your pardon? 205 00:14:11,283 --> 00:14:12,875 Who's the clown? 206 00:14:13,419 --> 00:14:16,388 This is Charlie. Charlie, this is my boyfriend, Mack. 207 00:14:17,523 --> 00:14:21,550 Charlie was just describing what he'd like to do to me in a cheap motel. 208 00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:23,388 Oh, yeah? 209 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:26,122 Wanna know what I'd do to you in a cheap motel, Charlie? 210 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:27,390 Or even in a bar. 211 00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:32,797 Come on, dirty girl, let's get naked. 212 00:14:41,013 --> 00:14:42,310 What's up, Harpo? 213 00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:45,644 - You got a great fucking body, seriously. - Thanks. 214 00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,480 Yeah, I wish the apple fell closer to the bush on that. 215 00:14:48,654 --> 00:14:51,248 - That's not... - How do I get abs like that? 216 00:14:51,423 --> 00:14:53,584 I would start by laying off the fucking pizza. 217 00:14:53,759 --> 00:14:55,351 Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 218 00:14:55,527 --> 00:14:58,325 This is a great idea. I fucking love pizza-and-movie night. 219 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:01,762 Just what the doctor ordered, you know? So what if I'm unemployed now? 220 00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:05,267 I talked to Rath and he's gonna let you stay on for as long as he can. 221 00:15:05,437 --> 00:15:08,565 - Yeah, but then what? - Then you go out and get another job. 222 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:10,902 How will I luck into another job like this one? 223 00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:15,672 Maybe you don't luck into another job. Maybe you go out and you find one. 224 00:15:16,882 --> 00:15:18,816 Yeah, that's never really worked for me. 225 00:15:20,219 --> 00:15:21,743 I'm gonna throw some clothes on. 226 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:24,321 Hurry up, dude. Pizza's gonna get cold. 227 00:15:28,527 --> 00:15:31,985 Fuck! God damn it. 228 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,268 Mom? Thank God, you gotta help me. 229 00:15:43,475 --> 00:15:46,000 - Oh, my God. Hi. - Hi. 230 00:15:46,178 --> 00:15:49,636 - You're Becca. - Yes, I am. And you are? 231 00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,774 Levon. I'm Levon. Hi. 232 00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,284 Nice to meet you, Levon. 233 00:15:56,121 --> 00:15:58,681 - You said my name right. - Is that unusual? 234 00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:00,449 Yeah. 235 00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,620 I'm sorry, do you know about me? 236 00:16:04,163 --> 00:16:06,188 - No. - You don't know about me? Shit. 237 00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:08,230 I'm looking for my father. 238 00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:11,130 Yeah, he's getting dressed. 239 00:16:11,503 --> 00:16:14,529 - Where's Charlie and Marcy? - I don't know. They're weird. 240 00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,870 - Yeah, they are. - You're a lot hotter than your pictures. 241 00:16:19,144 --> 00:16:22,636 - Thanks? - I'm sorry, that's weird. 242 00:16:22,815 --> 00:16:24,715 But your mom's totally hot, makes sense. 243 00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:26,879 - You know my mom? - Yeah, she's cool. 244 00:16:27,052 --> 00:16:30,044 - Super MILF-y. Where is she? - Parking the car. 245 00:16:30,222 --> 00:16:34,682 - So how do you know my father? - Let's get this pizza-movie night started. 246 00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:38,389 Becca. 247 00:16:49,174 --> 00:16:52,575 So I met your strange little friend. 248 00:16:53,312 --> 00:16:54,836 Yeah. 249 00:16:55,014 --> 00:16:57,005 About my strange little friend... 250 00:16:57,182 --> 00:17:00,413 Will you just tell her already? The suspense is killing me here, dude. 251 00:17:00,586 --> 00:17:02,247 Tell me what? 252 00:17:02,688 --> 00:17:04,087 I have some news. 253 00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:07,248 - Yeah, me too. That's why I'm here. - Great, you go first. 254 00:17:07,426 --> 00:17:11,123 No, you first, dude. This is ridiculous. I wanna give her a fucking hug already. 255 00:17:12,331 --> 00:17:14,162 Why? 256 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:16,761 Can't do it, can you? 257 00:17:16,935 --> 00:17:19,028 You're embarrassed of me. I fucking knew it. 258 00:17:21,907 --> 00:17:25,104 I wanted to tell you, but I didn't wanna do it over the phone. 259 00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:28,144 Got three bottles. Hope it's enough. I know you like to drink. 260 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:32,578 Holy shit. Is this Becca? 261 00:17:32,751 --> 00:17:37,279 Holy shit. Oh, my gosh. It's so great to finally meet you. 262 00:17:37,456 --> 00:17:40,050 - Who are you? - I'm Julia. I'm Levon's mom. 263 00:17:40,225 --> 00:17:42,159 Are you excited to meet your brother? 264 00:17:45,864 --> 00:17:46,956 My brother? 265 00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:00,205 Missus, you back! 266 00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:03,177 - Hi, Irma. - You put perfect? 267 00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:05,782 - Is he in? - Yes, of course, he's in. 268 00:18:07,219 --> 00:18:08,777 Marcy? 269 00:18:08,954 --> 00:18:11,787 - Hi, Stu. - Hi. 270 00:18:11,957 --> 00:18:14,357 - How are you? - Never better. 271 00:18:15,527 --> 00:18:17,427 - Can we talk? - Of course. 272 00:18:17,596 --> 00:18:18,756 Alone. 273 00:18:19,998 --> 00:18:22,523 Irma, you hear the woman of the house. 274 00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:24,328 Be gone with you! 275 00:18:25,904 --> 00:18:27,633 What can I do for you, Marcy? 276 00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:31,135 I assume that the offer still stands? 277 00:18:31,310 --> 00:18:32,675 Well, of course it... 278 00:18:33,979 --> 00:18:36,743 Don't toy with me, woman. 279 00:18:36,915 --> 00:18:38,746 Are you in? 280 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,051 Yes, I'm in. 281 00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:43,245 Okay. 282 00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,589 Let's do it. 283 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:47,257 - Yeah. - Come on. 284 00:18:47,426 --> 00:18:48,654 Coming. Okay. 285 00:18:49,228 --> 00:18:50,752 Okay. 286 00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:03,598 Okay, so just sign right here. 287 00:19:03,775 --> 00:19:06,869 - Okay. - And if you could initial here. 288 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:09,948 - Okay. - Yeah, and right there. 289 00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:13,016 - Okay. - And we are done. 290 00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:14,618 And I'll take that. Thank you. 291 00:19:14,786 --> 00:19:18,950 All right, so let's just... Should we do this? Let's do this. 292 00:19:19,124 --> 00:19:21,456 - What? What, now? - Yeah. 293 00:19:21,627 --> 00:19:25,290 Now. There's no time like the present. I mean, let's get this shit over with. 294 00:19:25,464 --> 00:19:29,594 - No offense. - Yeah, let's just do it. 295 00:19:30,269 --> 00:19:32,203 - Let's do it now. - Yeah. 296 00:19:32,704 --> 00:19:34,262 Okay. 297 00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:37,469 - Come here. - Okay. 298 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,611 - Yeah. - All right. 299 00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:42,036 - Okay. - I've missed you. 300 00:19:42,214 --> 00:19:43,613 Okay. 301 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:46,874 Okay. 302 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:52,356 Okay. All right, Stu. 303 00:19:52,524 --> 00:19:53,786 Maybe not now. 304 00:19:53,959 --> 00:19:56,427 It's too much. My head's not in the game. 305 00:19:56,595 --> 00:19:58,995 - Can we just do this tomorrow? - Absolutely, darling. 306 00:19:59,164 --> 00:20:01,098 It would give me more time to prepare. 307 00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:03,734 - Okay. - I need to groom myself. 308 00:20:03,902 --> 00:20:05,733 Could use a wax. 309 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,997 - Do you want to...? - To wax you before I fuck you for money? 310 00:20:10,175 --> 00:20:12,268 No, Stu. God, no. 311 00:20:13,145 --> 00:20:14,544 Understood, understood. 312 00:20:14,713 --> 00:20:16,203 - So tomorrow. - Okay. 313 00:20:16,381 --> 00:20:17,905 - Okay. - Tomorrow. 314 00:20:18,083 --> 00:20:20,984 I will enter you tomorrow. 315 00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,144 Yes, you will. 316 00:20:23,322 --> 00:20:25,916 - I can't wait. - Yes. 317 00:20:26,091 --> 00:20:28,082 Good times. Yeah. 318 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:30,524 - Good times. - Okay. 319 00:21:13,205 --> 00:21:15,366 Tomorrow, my dear. 320 00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,608 Tonight... 321 00:21:22,514 --> 00:21:24,345 ...we practice. 322 00:21:31,757 --> 00:21:32,985 Yeah. 323 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:37,019 Who's your daddy? Who's your daddy? 324 00:21:37,596 --> 00:21:39,894 - So you knocked up? - Julia. 325 00:21:40,065 --> 00:21:42,898 Sorry, so you knocked up Julia... 326 00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:46,037 ...before you met Mom? - Oh, let's hope so. 327 00:21:46,204 --> 00:21:47,694 Oh, give me a break, Karen. 328 00:21:47,873 --> 00:21:49,670 - Come on. - I didn't think about that. 329 00:21:49,841 --> 00:21:52,207 You think he was sleeping with us at the same time? 330 00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:54,572 Well, yeah, I mean, I guess anything's possible. 331 00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:56,373 - It's Hank, right? - You're right. 332 00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:58,641 Ladies, I'm right here. 333 00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:02,948 Yes, I impregnated Julia... 334 00:22:03,121 --> 00:22:06,557 ...just before I met your mom. - Who you then quickly impregnated. 335 00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:10,058 - What a fucking baller, huh? - Honey, don't talk like that. 336 00:22:10,228 --> 00:22:13,163 Sorry, just trying to keep it light. My B, my B. 337 00:22:13,332 --> 00:22:15,596 Honey, I know this is a really shitty way... 338 00:22:15,767 --> 00:22:18,736 ...to find out about something so huge, and I'm sorry. 339 00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:23,841 I don't know, given the story of my life, this seems perfectly appropriate. 340 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:29,037 Yeah. So where do we go from here, Becca? 341 00:22:29,214 --> 00:22:30,340 What do you mean? 342 00:22:31,917 --> 00:22:35,751 What do you mean, what do I mean? I have a fucking sister. How cool is that? 343 00:22:35,921 --> 00:22:38,116 You have a fucking brother. How cool is that? 344 00:22:38,290 --> 00:22:39,450 I don't know yet. 345 00:22:40,492 --> 00:22:42,722 You're sarcastic, just like Dad. 346 00:22:42,894 --> 00:22:46,830 - I love it, I wanna party with you, kid. - Can you not call him that? 347 00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:49,262 But he's my father. 348 00:22:49,434 --> 00:22:51,402 He's my father. 349 00:22:51,570 --> 00:22:54,539 Okay, so he's our father. Deal with it, Becca. 350 00:22:54,706 --> 00:22:56,105 Hey, stop being such a dick. 351 00:22:56,274 --> 00:22:58,401 She's just absorbing the information right now. 352 00:22:58,577 --> 00:23:01,876 - I knew you were gonna take her side. - I am not siding with anyone. 353 00:23:02,047 --> 00:23:04,481 It's all right. You love her more. Why wouldn't you? 354 00:23:04,649 --> 00:23:06,708 She's your real kid. That's your real family. 355 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:09,718 We're just the dirty one-night stand of families. 356 00:23:09,888 --> 00:23:11,480 I'm a retard, my mom's a slut. 357 00:23:11,656 --> 00:23:13,715 Honey, don't talk like that. Behave yourself. 358 00:23:13,892 --> 00:23:15,757 Look, he's... I'm sorry, he's emotional. 359 00:23:15,927 --> 00:23:19,761 Hey, will you four please excuse me while I go hang myself? 360 00:23:19,931 --> 00:23:24,766 No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to feel sorry for yourself. 361 00:23:25,203 --> 00:23:28,195 - Not even a little bit? - No, this is your life. Deal with it. 362 00:23:28,373 --> 00:23:30,773 Yeah, this is your life, Hank Moody. Deal with it. 363 00:23:30,942 --> 00:23:33,843 I am dealing with it. 364 00:23:34,679 --> 00:23:36,146 How was your trip, honey? 365 00:23:36,314 --> 00:23:38,578 It was amazing, actually. 366 00:23:38,750 --> 00:23:42,242 That's fantastic. How was? 367 00:23:43,622 --> 00:23:45,954 Now is not the time to be a dick, Dad. 368 00:23:47,159 --> 00:23:48,683 Up high, sis. 369 00:23:52,030 --> 00:23:54,123 You're a little uptight. Anyone tell you that? 370 00:23:54,299 --> 00:23:56,130 I'm not being a dick. I... 371 00:23:56,301 --> 00:23:59,429 Seriously, I don't remember the gentleman's name. 372 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,572 - Ross. - Roscoe. 373 00:24:01,740 --> 00:24:03,799 Yeah, Roscoe. Good old Roscoe. 374 00:24:03,975 --> 00:24:06,273 - Did he behave himself? Did...? - Tread carefully. 375 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:09,278 - Why? What? I don't get it. - Becca has news. 376 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:13,578 - She said that earlier, that she had news. - Now's not the time, Mom. 377 00:24:13,752 --> 00:24:16,346 - You're right. I'm sorry. - No, no, no, now is the time. 378 00:24:16,521 --> 00:24:19,684 I just came clean. Your turn. 379 00:24:23,028 --> 00:24:25,121 I'm getting married. 380 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,128 - Congratulations. - No, you're not. 381 00:24:27,299 --> 00:24:30,632 - I am, Dad. - No, you're not. 382 00:24:30,802 --> 00:24:33,396 Well, there's not a lot you can do about it, is there? 383 00:24:33,572 --> 00:24:36,473 Aren't your hands full at the moment, juggling two families? 384 00:24:36,641 --> 00:24:40,042 - Becca, this is ridiculous. - Any more than this? 385 00:24:40,212 --> 00:24:42,874 I love weddings. I mean, brother of the bride. 386 00:24:43,048 --> 00:24:45,016 Are you kidding me? 387 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:48,044 I'm invited, right? Because I'll totally come. 388 00:24:48,220 --> 00:24:51,155 - Honey, I think we should go. - What about pizza-and-movie night? 389 00:24:51,323 --> 00:24:52,984 - Do it another time. - Don't bother. 390 00:24:53,158 --> 00:24:54,648 - I wanna go home. - Okay, sweetie. 391 00:24:54,826 --> 00:24:57,795 Wherever the fuck that is these days. 392 00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:21,647 Sorry, baby. 393 00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,046 For what? 394 00:25:24,689 --> 00:25:27,089 Where the fuck do I begin? 395 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,517 I'm not mad about Levon. 396 00:25:29,694 --> 00:25:32,686 It's kind of nice not being the only child anymore. 397 00:25:32,864 --> 00:25:36,425 I look forward to getting to know him, sort of. 398 00:25:36,601 --> 00:25:40,037 He seems amusing. 399 00:25:40,205 --> 00:25:42,196 He is. He's a good kid. 400 00:25:42,474 --> 00:25:44,567 That's very mature of you to acknowledge that. 401 00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:48,179 But that's not surprising. You were always the mature one in the family. 402 00:25:48,346 --> 00:25:52,305 - Ain't that the truth? - Yeah. 403 00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,912 So, what's all this about you getting married? 404 00:25:56,087 --> 00:25:59,454 Just that. I'm getting married. 405 00:25:59,891 --> 00:26:02,121 I know you think you're in love with this guy... 406 00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:05,058 Please, don't be condescending right now. 407 00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,494 In exchange, I promise not to be condescending... 408 00:26:07,666 --> 00:26:10,931 ...about your latest in a long line of chronic fuck-ups. 409 00:26:11,102 --> 00:26:12,660 Deal? 410 00:26:13,004 --> 00:26:16,770 My chronic fuck-ups aside, this is not a good idea, Becca. 411 00:26:16,942 --> 00:26:19,274 - Why? - Because you're so young. 412 00:26:19,444 --> 00:26:24,507 I'm young, and you're older. 413 00:26:24,849 --> 00:26:27,841 Thank you. What's your point? 414 00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:32,279 Looking back, can you honestly say that you're happy you never got married? 415 00:26:32,457 --> 00:26:35,085 Didn't it basically doom you to a lifetime of loneliness? 416 00:26:35,260 --> 00:26:38,195 It's not about being married or not being married, Becca. 417 00:26:38,363 --> 00:26:41,093 - What's it about, then? - I don't know. 418 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:44,530 Honestly, I couldn't tell you right now. 419 00:26:44,703 --> 00:26:47,433 But what are the odds that this particular clown...? 420 00:26:47,606 --> 00:26:51,372 This particular young gentleman is the one? 421 00:26:51,810 --> 00:26:53,471 You're one to talk about odds. 422 00:26:53,645 --> 00:26:57,411 Didn't you get it right the first time? Isn't that what you always brag about? 423 00:26:57,582 --> 00:27:00,016 What makes you so special? Couldn't it happen to me? 424 00:27:00,185 --> 00:27:04,519 - Okay, so why the rush? - Because he asked and I answered. 425 00:27:04,689 --> 00:27:07,715 And it feels right to me. I'm trusting my gut. 426 00:27:07,892 --> 00:27:10,190 I'd think you of all people could understand that. 427 00:27:13,331 --> 00:27:16,164 I cannot in good conscience endorse this shit, Becca. 428 00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:21,704 You've got a lot of fucking nerve, Dad... 429 00:27:21,873 --> 00:27:24,842 ...after all the shit you've asked me to endorse over the years. 430 00:27:25,677 --> 00:27:26,837 That's fair, fair enough. 431 00:27:27,012 --> 00:27:29,446 I come home with good news, great news... 432 00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:32,481 ...the biggest news of my life, and I can't even get it out... 433 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:35,677 ...before I'm confronted with the wreckage of your fucking past. 434 00:27:41,726 --> 00:27:43,660 I'm sorry. 435 00:27:49,701 --> 00:27:53,569 I don't know what else to say. 436 00:27:54,205 --> 00:27:56,196 Yeah, me too. 437 00:27:57,842 --> 00:28:00,538 We're doing it in New York. You can be a part of it or not. 438 00:28:00,712 --> 00:28:02,703 Totally up to you. 439 00:28:02,981 --> 00:28:04,881 But it's happening. 440 00:28:05,583 --> 00:28:09,075 And I'm not gonna let you make me fucking miserable about it. 34596

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