Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:10,131
Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:12,710
It's your agent calling from the coast
3
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,881
with the prospect
of a significant payday.
4
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:16,053
I'll take it.
5
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:18,928
Oh, shit.
6
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,098
Man, what are the odds?
7
00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,892
I end up next to the most
beautiful woman in the tri-state area,
8
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,440
and I go and spill a drink in her lap.
9
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:29,402
I guess we shouldn't ruin it
by keeping in touch or anything.
10
00:00:29,530 --> 00:00:31,937
Alas, this one's
not your lady any more, Hank.
11
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:33,312
- He's like you.
- Bates.
12
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:34,738
But awesome.
13
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,031
How's Becca?
14
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:38,242
- Boyfriend?
- I mean, I wanna kill him, Hank.
15
00:00:38,330 --> 00:00:39,493
We're keeping it simple.
16
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:40,992
I come in peace, OK?
17
00:00:41,083 --> 00:00:42,956
The kid's a loathsome fucking asshole.
18
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,706
Great seeing you, Dad.
Always a pleasure.
19
00:00:46,505 --> 00:00:48,296
He wants Hank to come to him.
20
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,876
Who the fuck is "he"?
21
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:51,759
Samurai Apocalypse.
22
00:00:52,094 --> 00:00:53,636
I need your words.
23
00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:55,512
What the fuck else you gonna do,
write another book?
24
00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,637
Fuck that. Let's get paid, motherfucker.
25
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,761
Moody, this is Kali.
Remember this name, Kali, yo.
26
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,246
Oh, my word.
27
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,656
I don't think this is such a good idea.
28
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,199
Why?
29
00:01:26,295 --> 00:01:27,919
Was I doing something wrong?
30
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:29,672
Oh, no, no, no. That was world class.
31
00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:33,967
Some girls are timid
and lack focus, but you,
32
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:36,091
you should be in porn.
33
00:01:36,513 --> 00:01:37,592
Hmm?
34
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:39,802
But only if you want to be.
35
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:42,764
You are not taking this in the spirit
in which it was intended.
36
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,015
Mmm-mmm.
37
00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:47,054
Mmm.
38
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,562
Allow me to explain.
39
00:01:51,695 --> 00:01:53,569
No, allow me, motherfucker!
40
00:01:54,323 --> 00:01:55,485
Die!
41
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:57,698
Die, motherfucker!
42
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:05,333
Whoo!
43
00:02:05,417 --> 00:02:07,659
Charlie, thank God.
44
00:02:10,631 --> 00:02:12,089
You weren't just blowing me right now,
were you?
45
00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,873
No, sirree, I most certainly was not.
46
00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:17,593
- Not even a little bit?
- No. No.
47
00:02:17,679 --> 00:02:20,005
Your Magic Johnson
was nowhere near my oral cavity.
48
00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:22,140
I did just beat off in the shower, though.
49
00:02:22,226 --> 00:02:25,429
Yeah. I even got a little cum
on my foot, right here.
50
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,846
Don't worry, washed right off.
51
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,181
You are a fucking animal,
you know that?
52
00:02:33,862 --> 00:02:34,941
Goddamn LA.
53
00:02:35,697 --> 00:02:37,737
I only have dreams like this
when I'm here.
54
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:41,324
Hey, now. You relax.
55
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:43,912
Have yourself a cup of black gold.
56
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,112
Hey, you know what we'll do?
57
00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:48,623
We will...
We will take a walk along the beach,
58
00:02:48,710 --> 00:02:51,795
we'll gaze upon
some foxy Malibu hard bodies.
59
00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:54,167
Fuck that shit.
60
00:02:54,383 --> 00:02:57,170
Can you get me on a plane back
to New York tonight, please?
61
00:02:57,261 --> 00:02:59,384
- What about Samurai Apocalypse?
- What about him?
62
00:02:59,930 --> 00:03:04,426
He wants you, and only you.
He loves your black ass.
63
00:03:05,143 --> 00:03:07,681
Well, it's always nice
to have one's black ass wanted,
64
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,642
but I'm not sure
if the feelings are reciprocated.
65
00:03:10,732 --> 00:03:12,440
Well, then you'll have to tell him.
66
00:03:13,986 --> 00:03:15,694
That's your job, agent.
67
00:03:15,779 --> 00:03:19,824
He is a very important client, Hank.
This needs to be finessed.
68
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,402
- And if it isn't?
- Then I will be very upset with you.
69
00:03:25,289 --> 00:03:27,862
And what would that entail, exactly?
70
00:03:28,917 --> 00:03:30,577
I'm not sure exactly.
71
00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:31,914
But it will probably involve
72
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,329
not returning your calls
in a timely manner.
73
00:03:34,423 --> 00:03:35,668
Oh, no.
74
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:37,879
Aw, fuck.
75
00:03:41,054 --> 00:03:42,169
Yola.
76
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:43,806
Becca is really upset with you.
77
00:03:43,932 --> 00:03:46,767
Yeah, that's sort of
a trending topic right now.
78
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:50,013
I just think you should try and make
it up to her before you leave town.
79
00:03:50,105 --> 00:03:52,643
White woman, please.
She'll thank me later.
80
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:55,936
Maybe, but you know, in the meantime,
you could kiss and make nice.
81
00:03:56,028 --> 00:03:57,901
- She's your only daughter.
- Oh, thank God. What?
82
00:03:59,198 --> 00:04:01,605
What are you doing over there?
Are you and Bates playing grab ass?
83
00:04:01,700 --> 00:04:02,779
- Stop.
- Woman.
84
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,274
- Stop.
- Be a professional,
85
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,484
for Christ's sake.
86
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:10,115
Does Becca need an iPad
or something like that?
87
00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:11,323
- What?
- Bye, Hank.
88
00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:12,533
Ka...
89
00:04:12,961 --> 00:04:14,242
Charlie, can you get me an iPad?
90
00:04:14,338 --> 00:04:16,829
Most certainly,
if you sit down with the Samurai.
91
00:04:17,841 --> 00:04:19,750
You're a real twatty fucking cunt,
you know that?
92
00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:21,124
Twat? Twat? I cunt hear you.
93
00:04:21,220 --> 00:04:22,500
I've got an ear in-fuck-tion.
94
00:04:22,679 --> 00:04:24,304
I'll finger it out later.
95
00:04:24,431 --> 00:04:25,973
You still got some cum on your foot.
Made you look.
96
00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,414
Oh, ah, ah, ah, ah. Becca Moody.
97
00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:35,288
Ta-da.
98
00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,418
Ta-da.
99
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:41,381
Oh. You have one already?
100
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,459
I'm not 12.
You can't bribe me any more.
101
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:46,387
Well, you can, but you have to
adjust for lifestyle and inflation.
102
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,006
I am not trying to bribe you, sweetie.
103
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:53,559
I'm just trying to weaken your
steely resolve to hate the old man.
104
00:05:53,896 --> 00:05:55,639
I don't hate you.
105
00:05:55,939 --> 00:05:58,146
I'm just disappointed
that you don't trust me,
106
00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:01,687
and that you can't put aside
all your petty judgemental bullshit
107
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:03,189
for the duration of one simple dinner.
108
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,698
That's fair.
109
00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,188
But he was kind of a tool.
110
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:08,992
This is how you say you're sorry?
111
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:12,570
You're right. Let's switch gears.
112
00:06:12,915 --> 00:06:14,077
What?
113
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:15,948
Mmm.
114
00:06:18,837 --> 00:06:20,877
- What, you don't want to man pound?
- Not really.
115
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,459
Especially when you put it that way.
116
00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,422
- OK, fine, be that way, dude.
- What are you doing here?
117
00:06:25,511 --> 00:06:27,799
- I go here.
- Aren't you a little old for college?
118
00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:30,094
What are you on, the 6-year plan,
Stephen Hawking?
119
00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:32,880
- It's called grad school. I'm a TA.
- It's how we met.
120
00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,477
Hey, that's against the rules.
121
00:06:34,561 --> 00:06:37,231
Dad, during your tenure
as a college professor,
122
00:06:37,356 --> 00:06:38,470
you slept with your TA,
123
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,103
the dean's wife
and one of your students.
124
00:06:41,610 --> 00:06:42,689
She was a stripper, too.
125
00:06:42,778 --> 00:06:45,185
Way to go, Hank. Up high.
126
00:06:45,864 --> 00:06:48,569
If you must know, that was
a particularly tough time for me.
127
00:06:48,659 --> 00:06:49,773
- I was not well.
- Mmm-hmm.
128
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:52,449
And I have learned
from my mistakes.
129
00:06:53,038 --> 00:06:54,829
This is not going as I had hoped.
130
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,700
IPad 2? Very nice.
131
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,252
He tried to bribe me with it.
132
00:06:59,336 --> 00:07:01,661
- You already have one.
- That she does.
133
00:07:01,755 --> 00:07:03,629
Well, I don't already have one.
134
00:07:12,391 --> 00:07:16,175
Wow. Thanks, Hank.
You're really starting to grow on me.
135
00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:19,184
Pink, though? Is that...
Whatever, I'll take it.
136
00:07:20,524 --> 00:07:22,018
Mmm.
137
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:25,861
Put my daughter
back on the ground, please.
138
00:07:35,831 --> 00:07:39,781
- Fredo, how's it hanging?
- Oh, quite low, sir.
139
00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:44,878
- Is the master expecting you?
- No, this is more of a cold call.
140
00:07:45,007 --> 00:07:47,248
- Oh, do please come in, sir.
- Thank you.
141
00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,939
- Hey.
- What the fuck are you doing here?
142
00:08:01,523 --> 00:08:03,646
I might ask you the very same question.
143
00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:04,765
It's complicated.
144
00:08:04,860 --> 00:08:06,568
I'm guessing
he doesn't know we're married.
145
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,696
- You're funny.
- And we just made out. On a plane.
146
00:08:11,783 --> 00:08:13,491
We were up in the air.
What's the big deal?
147
00:08:13,577 --> 00:08:15,486
You know, he has guns,
148
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:18,407
and samurai swords.
149
00:08:19,708 --> 00:08:22,281
I had a dream about you last night.
150
00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,206
- Really?
- Mmm-hmm.
151
00:08:24,630 --> 00:08:25,828
You know what's funny?
152
00:08:25,923 --> 00:08:28,461
That little high school
make out session of ours,
153
00:08:28,884 --> 00:08:31,256
I can't stop thinking about it.
154
00:08:31,470 --> 00:08:33,012
- You?
- Never.
155
00:08:34,389 --> 00:08:35,552
- Ever.
- Hmm.
156
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:40,228
You have extremely moist lips.
They're like kissable cupcakes.
157
00:08:40,312 --> 00:08:41,937
It's as if sprinkles and crumbs
158
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,430
Got together and made sweet love
159
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:47,728
and had these delicious little
smoochable cupcake babies.
160
00:08:50,072 --> 00:08:51,863
Hank Moody! Wassup, nigga?
161
00:08:53,492 --> 00:08:54,571
Better not be hitting on my girl.
162
00:08:54,660 --> 00:08:57,447
- I'm not your girl, Calvin.
- Ooh, Calvin?
163
00:08:57,913 --> 00:09:00,238
Just playing, baby.
What you doing here, man?
164
00:09:00,374 --> 00:09:02,117
You should be in Starbucks
writing me some funny shit,
165
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,668
some funny, quotable shit, too, nigga.
166
00:09:03,919 --> 00:09:06,920
Yeah, that's the thing.
I don't think I can do it.
167
00:09:07,005 --> 00:09:08,085
What the fuck you talking about, man?
168
00:09:08,173 --> 00:09:09,288
What, they ain't paying you enough?
169
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:11,506
No, no, it's not the money.
I just don't want to.
170
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:12,624
Why, because I'm black?
171
00:09:12,719 --> 00:09:15,092
No, it's not cos you're black.
I love the fact that you're black.
172
00:09:15,180 --> 00:09:16,461
What, it's because I got a white butler?
173
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,514
No, I love the fact
that you got a white butler.
174
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:19,881
Alfred is awesome.
175
00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,305
- Oh, thank you, sir.
- Respect.
176
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:22,853
Or it's because you hate hip hop, right?
177
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,773
No! Well, yeah, I do hate hip hop,
but that's not why.
178
00:09:26,024 --> 00:09:28,480
Oh, you're just mad cos I be dealing
with that crazy-ass pussy, huh?
179
00:09:28,569 --> 00:09:30,976
No, I fuck all sorts of crazy pussy, too.
180
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,479
Nigga, you don't be fucking
the kind of crazy pussy I be fucking.
181
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:34,647
Tell him, Alfred.
182
00:09:34,741 --> 00:09:37,067
Nigger, you don't be fucking
the same kind of crazy pussy
183
00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:38,275
as he be fucking, sir.
184
00:09:38,412 --> 00:09:40,535
You'd be surprised, both of you.
185
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,781
Yeah, right, like this fine-ass bitch
right here.
186
00:09:42,875 --> 00:09:44,582
Will you stop calling me
a fucking bitch, please?
187
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:46,377
Come on, mama,
just peacocking, baby.
188
00:09:46,879 --> 00:09:48,752
She is a beautiful woman. True dat.
189
00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:50,998
What's with the use
of all this urban patois, man?
190
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,000
Hey, it's the ABCs of me, baby.
191
00:09:54,553 --> 00:09:55,928
Aw, fuck.
192
00:09:56,138 --> 00:09:58,629
Yo, I gotta be somewhere, man.
Come with me, yo.
193
00:09:58,849 --> 00:09:59,964
Give me one day
and I'm gonna show you
194
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,265
why you want to be
in the Apocalypse business, man.
195
00:10:04,146 --> 00:10:06,719
- He did what?
- Are you gonna make her repeat it?
196
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:10,398
- I need to understand.
- You're saying he took it out.
197
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:14,567
He took his penis out, and
he was masturbating in front of Ava.
198
00:10:15,866 --> 00:10:17,146
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Masturbating?
199
00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:18,618
Poor little Ava.
200
00:10:18,702 --> 00:10:21,371
She's so cute, but she's
a little tweaked, though, right?
201
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,163
- You gotta admit.
- You can't even call it masturbation.
202
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,493
I mean, he's barely three.
203
00:10:24,583 --> 00:10:25,614
Can you cover that? Cover it up.
204
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,912
Well, his penis was fully erect
and he was manipulating it.
205
00:10:29,004 --> 00:10:30,913
Sounds like he was experimenting.
206
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:33,754
Maybe he just intended to be funny.
207
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,592
You know, bring a little sunshine
into her day.
208
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:38,251
I blame you, Charlie.
Like father, like son.
209
00:10:38,347 --> 00:10:39,461
Oh, yeah, right, the day you...
210
00:10:39,556 --> 00:10:43,008
Charlie, Marcy, this is not the time
or the place for the blame game.
211
00:10:44,269 --> 00:10:45,728
How can we repair this?
212
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:47,188
Ava's mother was horrified.
213
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,648
- Sure.
- Oh, it's terrible.
214
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:50,691
And she's threatening
to pull her out of school.
215
00:10:50,776 --> 00:10:51,855
That would be bad.
216
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,106
We'd rather that not happen,
217
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,273
so perhaps an apology.
218
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:57,939
How about a sizable donation?
219
00:10:58,033 --> 00:10:59,942
Well, that would be helpful as well.
220
00:11:00,035 --> 00:11:01,233
- Done.
- I'm sure.
221
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,443
- Thank you.
- Very helpful.
222
00:11:02,538 --> 00:11:04,577
Now if you'll excuse me.
223
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,332
Great. You write the cheque.
I'll press the flesh.
224
00:11:10,420 --> 00:11:11,500
Come on,
we have the nanny interviews.
225
00:11:11,588 --> 00:11:12,667
I know, I know.
226
00:11:12,756 --> 00:11:14,547
What happened to Irma? "I put perfect."
227
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,044
Marcy gave her the axe.
228
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:17,791
What?
229
00:11:17,928 --> 00:11:19,755
Involve the father, maybe?
230
00:11:19,847 --> 00:11:21,389
Are you gonna be paying their salary?
231
00:11:21,473 --> 00:11:23,632
No, but she's gonna spend
a lot of time around my son,
232
00:11:23,725 --> 00:11:25,683
and I should be given
meaningful consultation.
233
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:28,687
Fine. Fine. We'll narrow it down.
We'll bring you in for call backs, OK?
234
00:11:28,772 --> 00:11:30,314
- Stuart!
- Right, I'm coming.
235
00:11:40,951 --> 00:11:43,822
What the fuck?
Don't mess with my music, man.
236
00:11:43,912 --> 00:11:45,537
That's my shit, motherfucker.
That's me.
237
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:48,457
All right, how am I supposed to know?
That could be Run DMC for all I know.
238
00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,285
Man, you don't know shit
about hip hop, do you?
239
00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,785
No, I'm more of a classic rock guy,
you know,
240
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,121
- Zeppelin, The Who, Zevon.
- Oh.
241
00:11:55,716 --> 00:11:57,507
- Air Supply.
- Oh, no.
242
00:11:57,593 --> 00:11:59,550
All that fucking dinosaur shit
sound the same to me.
243
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,388
See, this is a real
ebony and ivory moment here.
244
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,676
We hate each other's music,
which makes us different,
245
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,847
but kind of the same.
246
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,014
Uh, huh.
247
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:09,478
- Feel me?
- Yeah, I feel you.
248
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,556
- Want to man pound?
- No.
249
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:13,771
Little dap? Gonna leave me hanging?
250
00:12:13,859 --> 00:12:16,564
- Hang, motherfucker.
- Oh, now this I like.
251
00:12:16,653 --> 00:12:19,524
Oh, that's Kali, man.
Fucking voice of an angel.
252
00:12:20,782 --> 00:12:23,404
- Church.
- I tell you something, Moody.
253
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,782
I been around the world, man,
I railed many bitches, man,
254
00:12:25,871 --> 00:12:28,576
but this one right here,
she's something special, man.
255
00:12:28,707 --> 00:12:30,581
I think she gonna be a big star.
256
00:12:32,503 --> 00:12:35,040
This car is giving me
the fucking creeps.
257
00:12:35,130 --> 00:12:37,372
I feel like we're about to
roll into the Warsaw ghetto.
258
00:12:37,466 --> 00:12:40,965
Total shit, I ain't never been there.
How the fuck is the food?
259
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:43,674
Scarce.
260
00:12:52,231 --> 00:12:53,345
What are we doing here?
261
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,061
Big Hollywood meeting, man.
Look alive.
262
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:01,113
- Pete Berg.
- Hey, hey, Sam.
263
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,107
Looking good, man.
Concrete, concrete, baby.
264
00:13:05,702 --> 00:13:07,742
Hank Moody, writer/rapist.
265
00:13:09,331 --> 00:13:10,446
What's up?
266
00:13:10,666 --> 00:13:12,623
How you doing? Good to meet you.
267
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:15,041
Uh, actually I think we know
some of the same people.
268
00:13:15,295 --> 00:13:18,249
In fact, I actually think we've been
inside some of the same people,
269
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:19,419
if you know what I'm saying.
270
00:13:19,508 --> 00:13:21,085
Yeah, I think I do know
what you're saying,
271
00:13:21,176 --> 00:13:22,635
and I think it's creeping me out.
272
00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:25,471
Yeah, well, we got a meeting,
so see you.
273
00:13:25,556 --> 00:13:26,754
All right, cool. I'll be at the bar.
274
00:13:26,849 --> 00:13:28,592
No, no. Hold on, whoa, hold on.
275
00:13:28,684 --> 00:13:31,056
Nah, he's with me, yo.
He's gonna be writing my shit.
276
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:34,062
Oh, come on. No way, man.
I mean, no disrespect.
277
00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:36,721
Sam, I just did a serious
rewrite on the script, I mean...
278
00:13:36,817 --> 00:13:38,015
Yeah, but the shit ain't cracking, man.
279
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,355
I need my shit to crackle, man.
280
00:13:39,444 --> 00:13:42,114
- What's the catchphrase?
- Catchphrase? Uh...
281
00:13:42,281 --> 00:13:45,732
Killing bad guys is my business
and business is fucking cracking.
282
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,279
Killing bad guys is my business...
283
00:13:48,370 --> 00:13:50,078
And business
is fucking cracking.
284
00:13:50,163 --> 00:13:51,907
Business is nah.
I don't know about that, man.
285
00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:53,078
- You know what?
- Cracking.
286
00:13:53,166 --> 00:13:56,167
I'm gonna go drop some heat.
Y'all chop it up, a'ight?
287
00:13:56,920 --> 00:13:59,590
What the fuck are you doing?
What is this?
288
00:13:59,673 --> 00:14:02,164
- What are you talking about?
- Why are you suddenly in my shit?
289
00:14:02,259 --> 00:14:04,133
I don't want to be. I'm trying to pass.
290
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:05,548
This guy won't take no for an answer.
291
00:14:06,096 --> 00:14:08,765
You are a middle-aged white guy.
292
00:14:08,891 --> 00:14:10,800
What the fuck do you know
about black culture?
293
00:14:10,934 --> 00:14:13,686
Absolutely nothing, but you're
making Santa Monica Cop?
294
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,313
What the fuck does that
have to do with black culture?
295
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:17,188
The character was originally
from Compton, get it?
296
00:14:17,274 --> 00:14:18,934
- Whatever, dude.
- You ever been to Compton?
297
00:14:19,026 --> 00:14:20,057
Go make your movie.
I'm no threat to you.
298
00:14:20,152 --> 00:14:21,183
Oh, really? You're no threat to me?
299
00:14:21,278 --> 00:14:22,309
- You sure about that?
- Yeah.
300
00:14:22,404 --> 00:14:23,863
- Sure?
- Go.
301
00:14:24,406 --> 00:14:26,778
- What about Michelle?
- Michelle?
302
00:14:27,284 --> 00:14:29,277
Girl you fucked while I was
still going out with her.
303
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,327
- Oh, OK.
- Oh, uh-huh.
304
00:14:32,206 --> 00:14:33,748
I'm sorry, I had no idea.
305
00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:36,952
Yeah, well, she found out I was
fucking around on her a little bit.
306
00:14:37,044 --> 00:14:38,419
- We had a little fight.
- Mmm-hmm.
307
00:14:38,504 --> 00:14:39,879
She went to a bar in Venice.
308
00:14:39,963 --> 00:14:41,623
She met you, she fucked you,
309
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:44,206
she told me about it in a fucking email.
310
00:14:44,343 --> 00:14:47,961
A very descriptive fucking email,
which actually I still have.
311
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,086
Would you like me to read it to you?
312
00:14:49,181 --> 00:14:50,461
No! I think that's a terrible idea.
313
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,182
- You sure?
- Well, you know,
314
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:54,426
actually, it might be kind of
an interesting time capsule for me.
315
00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,845
You know, like a stroll down memory...
No, actually, no.
316
00:14:56,939 --> 00:14:58,219
Don't, I'm good. All right?
317
00:14:58,315 --> 00:15:00,473
- And again, I'm sorry.
- I loved her.
318
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,228
I actually think she was the one.
319
00:15:02,986 --> 00:15:04,397
Then why were you cheating on her?
320
00:15:04,488 --> 00:15:06,445
It was gonna be the last time,
that's why.
321
00:15:06,532 --> 00:15:09,735
It was my kind of final dalliance.
I was ready to hang it up.
322
00:15:09,868 --> 00:15:11,410
I mean, that's how much
this girl meant to me.
323
00:15:11,495 --> 00:15:13,037
She actually made me reconsider
324
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,995
all the fucked up shit
I'd done behind her back.
325
00:15:17,501 --> 00:15:19,209
I'm sorry for your loss, Peter.
326
00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,671
Shit happens.
327
00:15:21,797 --> 00:15:24,714
Yeah, well, shit happens.
Shit does, in fact, happen.
328
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,460
Well, hey,
maybe that's your catchphrase.
329
00:15:26,552 --> 00:15:29,221
But it's a black movie,
so maybe "shit be happening."
330
00:15:29,304 --> 00:15:31,795
- OK, let's go.
- Where?
331
00:15:31,932 --> 00:15:34,090
Outside. You and I
are gonna settle this like men.
332
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:35,892
- Let's go.
- Why?
333
00:15:36,311 --> 00:15:39,431
For years, I've been tormented
by the image of my girl,
334
00:15:39,523 --> 00:15:40,638
the one that got away,
335
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:43,733
getting banged out
by some smug fucking writer.
336
00:15:44,778 --> 00:15:46,356
Time to make this right.
337
00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:48,690
Let's go. Let's go!
338
00:15:49,366 --> 00:15:51,406
Really? You made a movie
about a battleship?
339
00:15:51,493 --> 00:15:53,700
Come on, man, just,
thanks for Aspen Extreme.
340
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,818
Put your shit out there.
341
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:57,072
What the fuck y'all crackers
up to out here, man? What up, Pete?
342
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,870
Nah, he fucked one of my ex-girls,
when I was still with her.
343
00:15:59,960 --> 00:16:02,036
- Oh, come on.
- Moody, you a fucking dog.
344
00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,671
- Raping and pillaging?
- I didn't know.
345
00:16:03,755 --> 00:16:05,878
Man, I'll kill that motherfucker
that touch my girl.
346
00:16:05,966 --> 00:16:07,081
- Get him, Berg!
- Whose side are you...
347
00:16:07,176 --> 00:16:08,255
- Uh...
- Oh!
348
00:16:12,181 --> 00:16:13,461
- Hi.
- Hi.
349
00:16:13,557 --> 00:16:15,265
- Ava's mom.
- Oh, no, I'm...
350
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:18,351
I'm Charlie Runkle.
Stuart's dad, we spoke on the phone.
351
00:16:18,437 --> 00:16:20,264
No, I'm just the nanny, but come in.
352
00:16:20,355 --> 00:16:21,766
Oh! Oh, oh.
353
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,110
This must be Ava.
354
00:16:29,281 --> 00:16:30,905
Hello, Ava.
355
00:16:33,368 --> 00:16:35,326
Ava, darling, calm down.
356
00:16:35,621 --> 00:16:36,949
Why don't we go to your room?
357
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,663
Hello, Mr Runkle.
358
00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:41,785
- Hello, Mrs, uh...
- Call me Alison.
359
00:16:41,877 --> 00:16:43,668
And you call me Charlie.
360
00:16:44,129 --> 00:16:45,873
Uh, OK.
361
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:50,792
I just wanted to stop by, in person,
and apologise for my son's behaviour.
362
00:16:51,178 --> 00:16:52,838
Your son's disgusting behaviour.
363
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:55,754
Ava's cried herself to sleep
every night since the incident.
364
00:16:56,266 --> 00:16:57,464
How can we make this better?
365
00:16:59,019 --> 00:17:00,264
You're an agent, aren't you?
366
00:17:00,354 --> 00:17:02,227
That I am. UTK.
367
00:17:02,356 --> 00:17:05,107
You must know my husband, Bruce.
Business Affairs at Warners.
368
00:17:05,442 --> 00:17:09,143
Oh. Uh, of course. Tough negotiator.
369
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:11,280
But fair. Always fair.
370
00:17:11,532 --> 00:17:12,907
Bullshit!
371
00:17:12,991 --> 00:17:15,482
He's an abusive sociopath
and a casual alcoholic.
372
00:17:15,619 --> 00:17:18,703
- I'm not the biggest fan.
- Neither am I.
373
00:17:20,666 --> 00:17:24,035
Actually, uh, he's kind
of a bully, in fact.
374
00:17:24,127 --> 00:17:28,077
Yes. Yes, he is,
and I have the scars to prove it.
375
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:31,089
OK. Um, a peace offering.
376
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,710
What do you say,
you and I discuss this further
377
00:17:35,806 --> 00:17:37,633
over a glass of Sauvignon blanc?
378
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:40,476
I shouldn't. But I will.
379
00:17:43,814 --> 00:17:45,890
- Karma's a bitch, ain't it?
- It's not karma.
380
00:17:45,983 --> 00:17:48,556
It's just shitty fucking luck.
381
00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:51,192
That motherfucker's
a good director, too, man.
382
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,319
Hope you didn't fuck my shit up.
383
00:17:54,032 --> 00:17:55,575
I don't care about your shit right now.
384
00:17:55,659 --> 00:17:57,817
I care about my fucking eye.
385
00:18:32,946 --> 00:18:34,488
Crying motherfucker.
386
00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,032
No, I ain't crying. Shut the fuck up!
387
00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,492
My man, this nigga crying, man.
388
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:39,775
Check this shit.
389
00:18:42,581 --> 00:18:43,992
- Whoa!
- Oh!
390
00:18:45,876 --> 00:18:47,500
Off me, nigga!
391
00:18:50,464 --> 00:18:52,836
Oh, this motherfucker shot me, man!
392
00:18:52,925 --> 00:18:54,549
Hey, look who's crying now.
393
00:18:55,052 --> 00:18:56,760
Chase, take that motherfucker
to the hospital, man.
394
00:18:56,845 --> 00:18:58,126
No, man!
395
00:18:59,181 --> 00:19:00,509
Oh, shit.
396
00:19:00,891 --> 00:19:02,682
I ain't got no fucking medical!
397
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:20,690
What does your wife do?
398
00:19:20,786 --> 00:19:24,155
She has sex with a very rich
movie producer named Stu Beggs.
399
00:19:24,248 --> 00:19:25,279
Mmm.
400
00:19:25,582 --> 00:19:27,374
- Of course. Marcy.
- Mmm-hmm.
401
00:19:27,668 --> 00:19:29,210
I see her all the time at the Bar Method.
402
00:19:31,630 --> 00:19:33,373
I had sex with Stu Beggs once.
403
00:19:34,132 --> 00:19:37,252
Yeah, I was his development girl
for a short time in the mid '90s.
404
00:19:37,344 --> 00:19:39,669
- Huge penis.
- Yes, I'm well aware.
405
00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:43,090
- Like a bratwurst.
- OK. Enough.
406
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,845
He asked me to pee on him.
407
00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,264
Really?
408
00:19:48,105 --> 00:19:49,136
Did you?
409
00:19:49,231 --> 00:19:50,394
Yes.
410
00:19:50,858 --> 00:19:53,395
I had to go. Seemed silly to just say no.
411
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:54,600
Makes sense.
412
00:19:54,778 --> 00:19:57,020
I don't want to take Ava
out of Broken Arrow.
413
00:19:57,155 --> 00:20:00,904
It's a great school, and it funnels
into all the best elementary schools.
414
00:20:00,993 --> 00:20:02,368
That is what they say.
415
00:20:02,536 --> 00:20:04,244
So,
416
00:20:05,831 --> 00:20:06,910
how do we fix this?
417
00:20:07,583 --> 00:20:10,952
What makes boys want to take their
dicks out and show them to girls?
418
00:20:11,545 --> 00:20:14,830
Uh, I don't know.
Pride of ownership, maybe?
419
00:20:15,924 --> 00:20:17,039
Are you gonna take yours out?
420
00:20:17,968 --> 00:20:19,131
I'm sorry?
421
00:20:19,636 --> 00:20:21,095
Don't you want to show me yours?
422
00:20:21,555 --> 00:20:22,718
My
423
00:20:24,016 --> 00:20:25,843
- penis?
- Your dick.
424
00:20:26,018 --> 00:20:28,769
Your sausage. Your cock,
whatever you want to call it.
425
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:31,387
Are you gonna take it out
and masturbate for me?
426
00:20:32,399 --> 00:20:34,724
Just like your son did
in front of my daughter.
427
00:20:39,489 --> 00:20:40,948
Why would I do that?
428
00:20:41,033 --> 00:20:42,147
Why not?
429
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,910
That's right.
430
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:53,283
Touch yourself.
431
00:20:56,548 --> 00:20:57,711
You filthy pig.
432
00:20:58,467 --> 00:20:59,795
You pervert.
433
00:20:59,885 --> 00:21:01,759
Why do you want
to show me your dick?
434
00:21:01,845 --> 00:21:04,134
That pathetic little excuse for a penis.
435
00:21:04,223 --> 00:21:05,681
It looks like your son's.
436
00:21:05,766 --> 00:21:07,889
Do you fuck grown women
with that thing?
437
00:21:08,519 --> 00:21:10,226
Are they ever satisfied?
438
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,183
How could they be?
439
00:21:13,273 --> 00:21:14,649
What's it like
440
00:21:14,775 --> 00:21:17,895
to have the desire,
but not the right tool for the job?
441
00:21:21,782 --> 00:21:25,032
Jesus Christ, Lizzie!
How about some fucking privacy?
442
00:21:25,118 --> 00:21:26,281
I'm so sorry.
443
00:21:26,370 --> 00:21:28,446
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry!
444
00:21:28,539 --> 00:21:29,949
- Oh, my God.
- Oh.
445
00:21:30,165 --> 00:21:32,122
Clean up in here, you pig.
446
00:21:58,777 --> 00:22:00,853
Hey, are you OK?
447
00:22:01,071 --> 00:22:02,269
I just got fired.
448
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:05,775
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so sorry.
449
00:22:05,868 --> 00:22:08,109
Don't be.
She was a nightmare to work for.
450
00:22:08,203 --> 00:22:10,243
Yeah, I got the feeling.
451
00:22:13,876 --> 00:22:15,584
She hits on everyone, you know.
452
00:22:16,295 --> 00:22:18,536
Messengers, mailmen, gardeners.
453
00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:21,631
I walked in on her
and the DirecTV guy once.
454
00:22:21,717 --> 00:22:23,175
She had her finger up his ass.
455
00:22:23,635 --> 00:22:27,087
- Up his ass?
- Yeah, she's really fucked up.
456
00:22:27,639 --> 00:22:29,347
I should say so.
457
00:22:30,642 --> 00:22:33,312
Hey, are you looking for a new gig?
458
00:22:33,395 --> 00:22:35,471
Yeah, absolutely.
I really need the money
459
00:22:36,273 --> 00:22:38,431
- for cooking school.
- Awesome.
460
00:22:38,525 --> 00:22:41,526
- People love food.
- Yeah.
461
00:22:41,612 --> 00:22:42,892
Well, as luck would have it,
462
00:22:42,988 --> 00:22:46,404
my ex-wife is looking
for a new nanny for our son.
463
00:22:46,992 --> 00:22:50,028
And your son is the one
who exposed himself to Ava.
464
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:53,323
Yes. Yes, but he's really very sweet.
465
00:22:53,415 --> 00:22:56,286
My guess is,
he meant it as a compliment.
466
00:22:57,294 --> 00:22:58,457
What do you think?
467
00:22:59,505 --> 00:23:00,999
Any interest?
468
00:23:01,340 --> 00:23:03,249
Thank you.
469
00:23:16,313 --> 00:23:19,563
So look, man, you had a chance
to spend the whole day with me.
470
00:23:19,650 --> 00:23:22,141
Know what I mean?
See behind the curtain.
471
00:23:22,694 --> 00:23:23,892
So what's this gonna be?
472
00:23:24,947 --> 00:23:28,814
No disrespect, but I think
I'm gonna have to pass.
473
00:23:29,743 --> 00:23:31,118
I gotta...
474
00:23:34,706 --> 00:23:36,616
Will you excuse me for a second?
475
00:23:44,842 --> 00:23:46,252
Hey, Tyler.
476
00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:48,382
Hank.
477
00:23:48,470 --> 00:23:51,720
What's up, man?
Fancy seeing you again.
478
00:23:51,807 --> 00:23:55,092
This is not what it looks like.
This is my sister.
479
00:23:55,561 --> 00:23:56,640
How's Becca?
480
00:23:56,728 --> 00:23:59,433
She's at home with her mom.
She didn't want to come out tonight.
481
00:23:59,523 --> 00:24:01,017
You know, I really dig that about her.
482
00:24:01,108 --> 00:24:02,851
- She know where you are?
- Yeah, of course.
483
00:24:02,943 --> 00:24:03,974
I was just texting with her.
484
00:24:04,069 --> 00:24:05,184
Does she know about your sister?
485
00:24:05,863 --> 00:24:08,104
OK, I really like Becca, OK, I do,
486
00:24:08,198 --> 00:24:11,069
but life is short, man,
you know, and just sometimes,
487
00:24:11,159 --> 00:24:12,488
sometimes shit happens.
488
00:24:14,830 --> 00:24:17,747
Is she aware of how loose
this arrangement is?
489
00:24:17,833 --> 00:24:21,368
I don't know, Hank. We're just
sort of taking it day by day.
490
00:24:23,338 --> 00:24:26,339
Shit. You got that look in your eye,
like you want to hit me.
491
00:24:26,717 --> 00:24:28,092
Feel free.
492
00:24:28,552 --> 00:24:30,758
If you want your daughter
to hate you for life.
493
00:24:32,890 --> 00:24:34,135
Gotcha!
494
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,268
Look, is there anything else
you want to discuss?
495
00:24:38,353 --> 00:24:41,058
No? OK, cool. Have a good night.
496
00:24:42,691 --> 00:24:44,019
Hey, sis.
497
00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:51,983
What the fuck was that all about?
498
00:24:52,451 --> 00:24:56,151
Some guy my daughter's seeing
doesn't seem entirely faithful.
499
00:24:56,747 --> 00:24:58,241
I think he's gonna break her heart.
500
00:24:58,332 --> 00:25:00,371
Maybe we should break his legs first.
501
00:25:00,459 --> 00:25:01,834
That was my first impulse,
502
00:25:01,919 --> 00:25:04,588
but if I do that,
then she's gonna hate me forever.
503
00:25:04,796 --> 00:25:07,169
I have a history of doing
the well-intentioned wrong thing
504
00:25:07,257 --> 00:25:08,420
when it comes to her.
505
00:25:08,509 --> 00:25:12,376
So Moody's a good father, huh?
I like that in a brother.
506
00:25:13,555 --> 00:25:14,800
Me, too.
507
00:25:22,314 --> 00:25:24,188
You know what?
I'm gonna... I'm gonna take off.
508
00:25:25,275 --> 00:25:26,473
Peace.
509
00:25:26,693 --> 00:25:28,022
Peace out, nigga.
510
00:25:28,111 --> 00:25:29,654
Good luck on your project.
511
00:25:42,584 --> 00:25:44,328
Just so you know,
you're well represented
512
00:25:44,419 --> 00:25:46,127
in this battle of the exes.
513
00:25:46,213 --> 00:25:47,588
I got your back, rapist.
514
00:25:47,673 --> 00:25:49,464
Mucho apreciado, Batesy.
515
00:25:50,384 --> 00:25:52,626
- Ladies.
- Oh, my God.
516
00:25:53,011 --> 00:25:56,048
You've been in town for two days
and you have a black eye already.
517
00:25:56,139 --> 00:25:57,634
Apparently, I had it coming.
518
00:25:57,724 --> 00:25:59,516
Really? Shocker.
519
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:02,886
Becca, can I speak with you a moment?
520
00:26:03,230 --> 00:26:04,309
No.
521
00:26:07,484 --> 00:26:09,393
Go and speak with him.
522
00:26:13,407 --> 00:26:16,324
I just wanted to say
I'm sorry, you know?
523
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:18,278
It's not right of me to swoop in here
524
00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:19,864
and give you a hard time about your life.
525
00:26:19,997 --> 00:26:21,788
But you have to know
it comes from a good place.
526
00:26:21,874 --> 00:26:23,284
You know, a place
of wanting to protect you
527
00:26:23,375 --> 00:26:24,917
from all the bad shit that's out there.
528
00:26:25,335 --> 00:26:27,411
I know what guys are like.
529
00:26:29,631 --> 00:26:31,423
I've been that guy.
530
00:26:31,842 --> 00:26:33,384
I am that guy,
531
00:26:34,011 --> 00:26:35,386
sometimes.
532
00:26:36,221 --> 00:26:37,799
It's just so hard to tell the difference
533
00:26:37,890 --> 00:26:40,428
between those that have a good heart
534
00:26:40,517 --> 00:26:42,344
and the ones
that are just out there to win.
535
00:26:43,187 --> 00:26:45,559
He's a good guy, Dad. I know it.
536
00:26:46,732 --> 00:26:49,305
I know it like I know
you're a good guy, deep down.
537
00:26:57,826 --> 00:26:59,866
Speak of the handsome devil.
538
00:26:59,995 --> 00:27:01,074
Hold on a sec, Dad.
539
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:03,160
Hello.
540
00:27:06,210 --> 00:27:08,701
You did good. It'll be OK.
541
00:27:10,839 --> 00:27:11,918
You sure about that?
542
00:27:13,675 --> 00:27:15,467
Can someone take me to the hospital?
543
00:27:15,552 --> 00:27:16,715
Why? What's happened?
544
00:27:16,803 --> 00:27:18,346
Tyler was leaving some club
in Hollywood,
545
00:27:18,430 --> 00:27:20,553
and he got jumped
by a bunch of gangbangers.
546
00:27:20,641 --> 00:27:22,598
They beat him up pretty bad.
He's at Cedars.
547
00:27:22,684 --> 00:27:25,769
Sweetie, I'm so sorry.
Of course, come on. Let's go.
548
00:27:25,854 --> 00:27:27,763
- Um, have you got the keys?
- Yeah, yeah.
549
00:27:28,982 --> 00:27:33,027
Sounds like the little turd fondler
finally pissed off the wrong guy.41376
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.