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1
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Previously on Californication...
2
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,587
I think we should
go into business together.
3
00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,590
To be honest,
I'm interviewing for jobs in New York.
4
00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,925
So, how do you two know each other?
5
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,219
- Hank is the father.
- Alleged father.
6
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:16,265
I'll raise the child and I'll love it as my own.
7
00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:17,266
Oh, my God.
8
00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,268
Look, look, look, Damien and Becca.
9
00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,937
Because isn't that the Becca right there?
10
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,272
Bec!
11
00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:26,108
- I don't want to do any more porn.
- Really?
12
00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:29,278
I'd kind of like the last person
I had on-screen sex with to be you.
13
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,989
All right, Marcy.
After all the shit we've been through,
14
00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,533
I want to get a divorce.
I'm gonna be with Daisy.
15
00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,743
You fucked my man.
16
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:38,078
Marcy, I didn't mean...
17
00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,663
- She's here.
- She who?
18
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,040
"She who"?
Janie, you asshole!
19
00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,416
Come on!
20
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:45,961
What?
21
00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,963
Lew. Shit, Lew.
22
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,591
Lew! Lew!
23
00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,634
Lew?
24
00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,038
You got yourself
a bit of a ritual there, huh?
25
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,248
Yep.
26
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:08,919
Every time I finish a book -
whiskey, weed, and Warren Zevon.
27
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,754
It's the little things.
28
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,757
- Yeah. How'd it turn out?
- Hard to say.
29
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,926
You'd know better than I.
You lived the motherfucker.
30
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,596
Yeah, but living it right means
you don't remember much of it at all.
31
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,224
You can read all about it here.
Your dirty life and times.
32
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,145
What's next?
33
00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:30,899
I suppose I try to get my life
back in order in some fashion.
34
00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,401
Yeah, you...
35
00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,069
You do that.
36
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:37,739
Remember, at the end of the day,
37
00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,199
it's all about her.
38
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,786
- Who?
- You know.
39
00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,333
I'll miss seeing you around here, man.
40
00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,961
Gonna miss you too.
41
00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,841
And it's true what they say, you know.
42
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,385
You got one hell of a band.
43
00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,384
What up, buttercup?
44
00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:26,807
I just thought I'd pay my last respects
45
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,976
before I hit the road.
46
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,937
- Where you headed?
- Didn't you get the memo?
47
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,941
I'm taking Fucking & Punching
all over this fair country of ours.
48
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,402
Coming soon to
a supersized bookstore near you.
49
00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:42,823
- Mothers, lock up your sons.
- And husbands.
50
00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:54,042
I'm gonna miss him...
way more than I thought.
51
00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,711
Yeah, I know the feeling.
52
00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:59,339
At first, fucking him was...
53
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,258
was just a way of yanking your chain.
54
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,010
Really? You don't say?
55
00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,929
Yeah, but then he just had to win me over,
you know?
56
00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,598
Like some sweet, mangy little puppy
57
00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,268
who just wanted someone to pet him
and tell him he was a good boy.
58
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,146
- Then he'd shit the rug.
- Or hump your leg.
59
00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,815
Where's your first stop?
60
00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,525
- Borders in Tacoma.
- Know it.
61
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,610
There's a great coffee shop down the street.
62
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,696
Around the block,
there's this old record store,
63
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,407
sells used vinyl, tons of it, fantastic.
64
00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:29,119
Great! Old guy's guide to Tacoma.
Good to know.
65
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,705
Well, just be gentle
with our retarded love child.
66
00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:32,998
I will.
67
00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,626
Be good out there, psycho.
68
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,086
Tell 'em who sent you.
69
00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,143
Well, if it isn't the madre of my bambino.
70
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,686
What's shakin', sweet duck?
71
00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,230
- I got a job.
- A good job?
72
00:05:57,273 --> 00:06:00,484
A great job.
I mean, my dream job.
73
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,110
Way to go, fancy pants.
74
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:05,072
Yeah. It's...
75
00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:08,158
- It's in New York.
- Even better.
76
00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,620
- Right. I start Monday.
- No time like the present.
77
00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,373
Oh, my God. You're taking this
much better than I thought.
78
00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:15,457
Why shouldn't I?
79
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,668
I've been trying to get
back to New York for years now.
80
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,921
- Hank.
- Karen.
81
00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:22,339
I got a job.
82
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,508
You got a job.
That's what you just said.
83
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:28,678
- Not you.
- No. Not... I'm not following.
84
00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,515
No, you're not following.
I mean, you're not invited.
85
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,142
That is fucked up.
86
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:38,355
Well, this is not about you or us, OK?
This is about me and Becca.
87
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,107
But you can't just whisk her away
88
00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,110
and expect me to sit here in L.A.
With a dry thumb up my ass.
89
00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,194
Well, you know what?
90
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,155
You do have some
serious shit to deal with here.
91
00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,907
Karen, I can write anywhere...
92
00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,618
or not, as the case may be,
which is not the case.
93
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,830
I just finished the Ashby book.
This morning, as a matter of fact.
94
00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,289
- Honey, I'm on fire...
- Good for you.
95
00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,833
...which is why we should be together,
96
00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,710
or, at the very least,
why I should be your manny.
97
00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,214
- You laugh?
- My manny?
98
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:08,385
You're a high-powered career gal now.
You need somebody to hold down the fort.
99
00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,928
- A major-domo.
- Thank you.
100
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,179
I'm your man, woman.
101
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:14,599
I'm not talking about your
writing or lack thereof, OK?
102
00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:19,688
I was talking about the impending arrival
of your latest mistake. Did you forget?
103
00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:23,650
Sir Francis Drake said he was down
with raising the little bastard as his own.
104
00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,735
- You heard the bearded woman.
- You're OK with that?
105
00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:29,156
I'm not entirely convinced it's mine.
I never came inside her.
106
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:32,284
I don't think I did.
I mean, when she broncoed me,
107
00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:35,078
- I spasmed out a little dog water.
- Thank you.
108
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,248
I'm still hoping she banged some dude
in the P.F. Chang's parking lot
109
00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:42,043
while she was looking for Mr. Goodbar.
It's an entirely plausible scenario.
110
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,671
There is something wrong with you.
111
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,257
Well, I'm special.
I think I'm special. I really do.
112
00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,219
What does Jeff Becca think about
you tearing our family apart?
113
00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,723
- Well, right now, she's heartbroken.
- Of course she's heartbroken.
114
00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,684
You rip her away from her old man,
you don't invite him to come with.
115
00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:58,894
That shit is harsh!
116
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,605
- She's heartbroken about Damien.
- What about Damien?
117
00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:06,485
Well, she saw him making out
with someone else at Mia's party, so...
118
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,578
Welcome to All American Burger.
May I take your order?
119
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,581
Can I get a jumbo
"What the fuck were you thinking?"
120
00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,167
That's the problem, I wasn't thinking.
121
00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,879
I mean, she fucking kissed me, dude.
122
00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:31,384
That kind of shit just
doesn't just happen to me a lot...
123
00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,594
like ever.
124
00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:40,185
Be that as it may, on the flip side,
125
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,812
what I've got is a young girl
whose heart is broken.
126
00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,523
Yeah, I know.
127
00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,900
I know, and I feel
all sorts of awful about it.
128
00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:51,279
But, you know,
I've been thinking about it,
129
00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:55,617
and given the opportunity to do it again,
130
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:59,079
I don't think it would go any differently,
honestly.
131
00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:03,375
I mean,
a beautiful girl is kind enough to kiss you...
132
00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,795
fuck, you kiss her right back.
133
00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,839
Because...
134
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,593
you know, who knows
where that kiss is gonna take you?
135
00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,812
I went there to kick his ass,
and I stayed to soak up his wisdom.
136
00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:26,565
They know more than we do, the children.
We forget.
137
00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,984
Which is why we end up
in these fucked-up situations.
138
00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:32,487
Yeah. Selling BMWs in the Valley?
What the fuck, dude?
139
00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,282
Don't kid yourself, pal.
I always was.
140
00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:38,535
Selling writers, actors, directors...
it's all the same shit.
141
00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,955
- Have you talked to the Marce?
- Through the lawyers.
142
00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:46,376
She's a little feral right now,
wants to take me for all I'm worth.
143
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,169
Oh, no. All four figures?
144
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:51,881
I don't even care, really.
I just want to be happy, you know.
145
00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,593
That's all that matters now, the big happy.
146
00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:58,221
Pimping rides, living in a studio apartment
in the valley with a porno chick.
147
00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,349
Hey, retired porno chick.
148
00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,686
She's taking some Groundlings classes.
She's really quite funny.
149
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,896
I am sure
she's a deep-throating Lucille Ball.
150
00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,440
Bully for her, but what about you?
151
00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,526
Does this work for you,
give you the big happy?
152
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,195
More than you know, pal.
I feel like I'm 23 again.
153
00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,197
You know, life is simple.
154
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,159
It's good. Money's a little tight.
155
00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,370
I'm gonna have to use
the office Xerox to copy your manuscript.
156
00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,539
I'm so happy I stayed with you.
157
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:28,001
Me too. Good for us.
We're making shit happen.
158
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:31,338
Let's go, Runkle.
You got to be on that sales floor at all times.
159
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,674
A. B.C., baby,
"Always Be Closing."
160
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,801
Yes, sir!
161
00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:40,680
"A. B.C., baby, 'Always Be Closing"'.
These fucking guys...
162
00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,225
They all think they're the only one
who ever saw Glengarry Glen Ross.
163
00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,062
Hey, if you want,
I'll take you out back and shoot you.
164
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,355
I will let you know.
165
00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:53,902
That number, my friend, puts you
in a beautiful '07 convertible with navigation.
166
00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,779
You're good.
167
00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,366
How we doing over here?
Chuck Runkle.
168
00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,742
Nice to meet you.
169
00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,535
There goes my agent.
170
00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,209
I'm sick to my stomach.
171
00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,920
It's gonna get better. I promise.
172
00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:14,130
- Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't.
- Well...
173
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,466
- Either way, Dad, words don't help.
- Yeah.
174
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:20,136
I suddenly understand the appeal
of cigarettes and alcohol.
175
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,347
Here's an idea,
why don't you hang behind with me
176
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,057
and nurse your broken heart?
177
00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:28,478
We could smoke some cigarettes,
pass the bottle, listen to some blues.
178
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,729
It'll be fun.
179
00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:34,317
- Hank, that is very manipulative.
- No! It's not. It's not manipulative.
180
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,027
- Dad...
- It's a suggestion.
181
00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:39,614
...I'm going with Mom.
I need a change of scenery.
182
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,533
I don't want to be driving down the street
183
00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,493
and be reminded of all the places
we kissed.
184
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,744
"All the places"?
185
00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,539
What kind of an operation
are you running here?
186
00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,998
What the hell?
187
00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,126
Hey, no, don't answer that. It's rude.
188
00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:54,587
- No, it's Sonja. It could be important.
- Well, really don't answer it.
189
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:58,133
- No! It's around the due date, right?
- Voicemail, that's what it's for.
190
00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,592
No, no. Excuse me, sweetie.
191
00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:00,885
Hey, Sonja.
192
00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,637
You are?
193
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,723
Drugs! I want some fucking drugs!
194
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:08,143
Fuck! Can't you hippies
make this shit stop?!
195
00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,227
Breathe, Mommy.
196
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:13,356
- It's all about transcending...
- Fuck you, you stupid fucking doula!
197
00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,734
- Hey.
- Oh, God. Hey. Hi, guys.
198
00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,527
Thanks.
Thanks for coming.
199
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,697
By the way, fuck you for putting
this monster in my stomach.
200
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,324
I'm not entirely sure it's mine.
There will be some genetic tests.
201
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,160
Do not be an asshole!
202
00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:27,328
You're right, and when you're right,
you're right.
203
00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,540
Let's get the little fucker out first,
then we're gonna test.
204
00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,293
Oh, hey, look at you.
Look who showed up.
205
00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,920
I'm back. The man's back.
206
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,714
Have you been drinking?
207
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,133
Just a little tequila for the pain.
208
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:43,136
You bearded fucking lunatic.
Who do you think you are?
209
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,221
You're stressed out?
You need a drink?
210
00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,015
You know what?
Don't come near me.
211
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:50,101
I'll rip his handlebars
right off your fucking face!
212
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,354
- I'll do it. Fucking drunk.
- You got to get your shit together.
213
00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:57,233
It's time to stand up and extract
that little artist within. Come on.
214
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,445
- I'm just a fraud, Hank.
- I know, but it's time to stand up.
215
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,363
- No.
- Take the dress off already.
216
00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,907
Oh, stop.
217
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,201
- I am.
- Don't. Don't.
218
00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:08,870
No, actually, that's good. That's good.
219
00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:12,207
You march over there with those tears,
and tell her they're tears of joy, OK?
220
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,250
She will swoon. Trust me. Go.
221
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,335
- OK.
- You go.
222
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,128
- Thank you.
- Yes, you're welcome.
223
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,963
You're beautiful.
224
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,841
Just go.
225
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,051
No, you got to go alone.
226
00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,139
OK, I'm just gonna...
227
00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,141
What the fuck, Julian?
228
00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,726
- I'm crying.
- Are you crying?
229
00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,686
- Yeah.
- What the fuck?
230
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:37,232
I'm the one fucking pushing out
a goddamn bowling ball out of my pussy,
231
00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:40,777
my sweet, beautiful pussy
that is never gonna look the same again!
232
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,529
- I should be crying!
- You are.
233
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,031
I did have a pretty pussy, didn't I, Hank?
234
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,991
Oh, my God, yes.
I mean, a beautiful pussy.
235
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:50,954
- I would put it in the Top 10 of pussies.
- I love your pussy, too.
236
00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,414
You know, no disrespect to yours.
237
00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:55,375
Karen, number-one pussy in the world,
238
00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,836
- with a bullet.
- Fuck you.
239
00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,349
Lover!
240
00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,433
You home?
241
00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,155
Oh, yeah.
242
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,740
Charlie.
243
00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,242
Oh, shit.
244
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,120
I know that look. He's gonna blow.
245
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,414
Slow it down, Runkle.
246
00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,629
Forget it, Jake.
It's Vaginatown!
247
00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,257
I know. That's the only way...
248
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,509
Charlie, what are you doing?
249
00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,637
I'm sorry.
250
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,931
Can you just wait outside for a second?
251
00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,641
Sure thing, babe.
252
00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,981
I'm sorry, baby. I just...
253
00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,192
I thought I was gonna be
by myself for a while, you know?
254
00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:06,154
- Who's that?
- Just a guy from my Groundlings class.
255
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,864
We were gonna work on a sketch.
256
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,993
OK. I'm really sorry. I just...
I thought I'd have a few minutes to myself.
257
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:15,163
It's OK. You know I'm totally fine
with you masturbating.
258
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:19,334
It's just kind of weird
when you bring somebody over.
259
00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:24,005
I understand, and it's important
that we set these ground rules.
260
00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,798
Gus?
261
00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,552
Gus, this is my lover, Charlie.
262
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,637
Gus, Chuck Runkle.
263
00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,599
Hey, Charlie.
264
00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,892
Should we start?
265
00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,976
Oh, fuck.
266
00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,853
- Here it comes.
- OK.
267
00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,021
- Fuck.
- OK, it's time.
268
00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,231
- Oh, yeah.
- Breathe, breathe.
269
00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,525
OK, go, Sonja.
Go! Yes!
270
00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:45,818
Fuck!
271
00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:50,198
Push. Push!
272
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,282
Oh, my God!
273
00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,494
Oh, look.
274
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:57,121
What the fuck?
275
00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,166
Boooooo-ya!
276
00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,961
Baby is black! Karen!
277
00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:06,881
The baby's black. You see that shit?
God damn it! I didn't knock her up.
278
00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,841
- I know!
- I love you.
279
00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,385
I love you.
280
00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,428
Congratulations, Mommy.
281
00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,307
Bathe the child and bring him to me.
282
00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:20,269
I forgot about that fucking barista.
He was so hot. He looked like Lenny Kravitz.
283
00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,312
Fuck.
284
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,940
I said, bathe the infant and bring him to me.
285
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,024
Coming. Coming.
286
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,151
Fuck, I forgot.
I'm sorry, Hank.
287
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,113
Yes.
288
00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,157
Oh, yes.
289
00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,534
I will raise...
290
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:37,954
this black baby as my own.
291
00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,040
Come here. Before you drop him,
you drunk, come here.
292
00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,794
I will raise this black baby as my own.
293
00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,422
As my own.
294
00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:54,637
He's beautiful. Congratulations.
295
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,806
- He looks like me.
- He doesn't look like you.
296
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,145
- Hey, lover.
- Hey!
297
00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,734
- How'd it go?
- Good.
298
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,527
I think it's gonna be really funny.
299
00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,820
Good. Good.
300
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,823
I had sex with Gus.
301
00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,743
What?
302
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,578
I got confused.
303
00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,414
You got confused?
What the fuck does that mean?
304
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,332
I've never done a scene like that before
305
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,044
and we got to the kissing part,
and I got all confused.
306
00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,337
My autopilot kicked in
and I kissed him for real
307
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,548
and the next thing you know,
he was inside me.
308
00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:33,718
- That sounds like rape.
- No, not really...
309
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:37,722
Unless he wants to press charges.
It felt good. He had a really nice cock.
310
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,932
Jesus Christ, Daisy!
311
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,602
I'm sorry.
Does that make you feel bad?
312
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,772
Yeah, it makes me feel bad!
It makes me want to throw up!
313
00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,941
- Do you want me to suck your dick?
- No!
314
00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,360
Yes.
315
00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,529
I don't know.
Now I'm confused.
316
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,990
See? This is confusing stuff!
317
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,493
Maybe we should take a break.
318
00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,412
"Take a break"?
I just left my wife for you!
319
00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,039
I didn't ask you to, Charlie!
320
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,832
I know!
321
00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,379
It just...
seemed incredibly romantic at the time.
322
00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,839
It was.
323
00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:15,384
Maybe we should have some sex,
just fuck through the pain.
324
00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,387
OK.
325
00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,934
OK, citizen, fuck the Gus out of me.
326
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,202
Why didn't you pinch me?
327
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,917
Jesus! Woman!
328
00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,795
I'm tapping out.
329
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:54,632
You had me looking for
the fucking rodeo clown.
330
00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:55,800
Really?
331
00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:02,765
Hey, you know what?
I think you should come to New York.
332
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,103
Well...
333
00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,606
Why the change of heart?
334
00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,402
I can't live without this.
335
00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:18,739
I thought maybe it was cos
you wanted to make a black baby with me.
336
00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:22,118
- No, I just need a manny.
- I have excellent references.
337
00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:27,540
Plus, my vagina's become
really attached to you.
338
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,167
Not your heart? Just your vag?
339
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:33,212
Well, it's tough if, you know, the heart
and the vag are not on the same page.
340
00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:36,090
But, you know what?
In this instance, they are.
341
00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:40,761
Well, that's terrific because I am all about
improving heart-vag relations, you know?
342
00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:43,556
- It's my thing.
- So we're in sync.
343
00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,100
Should we take advantage of that?
344
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,102
- Could we...
- Round two?
345
00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,730
- Yeah.
- I'm answering the bell.
346
00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:53,274
You got five minutes, Runkle.
347
00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,236
You look beautiful.
348
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,197
That's right, motherfucker, I do.
349
00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,948
I've always looked beautiful.
350
00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,325
That's true. You have.
351
00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,327
Then why the fuck did you have to go
352
00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,205
and stick your dick
into some skanky porno chick?
353
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:10,583
I don't know. I got confused.
354
00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,376
You could've stayed with me.
355
00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,503
You were number 19.
356
00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,131
There were 18 cocks before you, Charlie.
357
00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:20,134
Not a ton, not a rogues' gallery,
358
00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,970
but enough to know
that I liked yours the best.
359
00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,932
Not the longest, not the thickest,
360
00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:29,644
little bit of English on it,
but it was mine, all mine.
361
00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:33,940
And now you and your cock
have betrayed me for the last time.
362
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,776
- Don't go, Marce.
- I'm already gone, baby.
363
00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:39,779
I was gone the moment you said
you wanted to be with Daisy.
364
00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:42,657
You said it out loud!
You can't take it back.
365
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:48,329
Oh! And...
your friend Ronny Praeger called.
366
00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,374
He said something
about Intense Video wanting to
367
00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,210
"Buy Vaginatown
for a shitload of money."
368
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,796
Really?
That's good news.
369
00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:59,757
Oh, hells yeah.
It's great news... for me.
370
00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,636
What? You said I could have everything.
371
00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:07,515
But don't worry your pretty little head
about it. We'll let my lawyer figure it out.
372
00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,683
He's really good.
373
00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:12,186
Later, Runkle.
374
00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,152
Where's my iPod?
I can't find my fucking iPod!
375
00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:22,738
Bec...
376
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:25,449
It's gonna be a long trip.
377
00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:26,784
Yeah.
378
00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,913
- Uh-oh!
- What?
379
00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,249
Something pubescent this way comes.
380
00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,963
OK, I know you hate me right now.
381
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,631
I do.
382
00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:44,635
OK, but I figured
I'd hate myself even more if I didn't,
383
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,929
you know, at least say goodbye.
384
00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,934
That's it?
That's the best you can do?
385
00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,312
Here, I got you something.
386
00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:01,819
I put a playlist on there.
Our playlist, the one we made out to...
387
00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,447
- All 17 songs.
- What?
388
00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:06,115
17 songs?
389
00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,491
That's a lot of making out.
390
00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,119
- Hank, could you shut up?
- He said 17 songs.
391
00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,579
I still loathe you.
392
00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:14,290
I know. I know.
And you have every right.
393
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:18,586
I do feel like I was unjustly seduced,
but I know that doesn't make it OK.
394
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,671
I just wish you weren't leaving cos...
395
00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,844
cos I love you... Becca Moody.
396
00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,723
You're like the only
post-punk, heavy-metal chick
397
00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,392
who's ever truly rocked my world.
398
00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:44,070
Is it OK if we go upstairs for a minute?
399
00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,696
- Of course...
- No fucking way.
400
00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,407
No, no. You take it out on the strand
where there are people,
401
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:51,077
and I'm watching you,
eyes in the back of my head.
402
00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,578
As always.
403
00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,875
Hey, Damien. Well played.
404
00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,585
Big ups.
405
00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:04,715
You know,
that was a nice parental move.
406
00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,300
I... Yeah.
407
00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:08,844
I kind of...
408
00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,596
I like the way you handled that shit.
409
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,431
That's right, motherfucker!
410
00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:18,187
I feel kind of bad
splitting them up right now.
411
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,111
- Well, then don't.
- What do you mean?
412
00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:27,196
You go. I stay.
413
00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:30,908
Are you crazy?
414
00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:32,993
What, you think I'd leave Becca behind?
415
00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,287
Well, I'm not gonna break her. I promise.
416
00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:37,331
Well, hold on a second.
What about you?
417
00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,583
I mean, you'd give up New York?
418
00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:41,961
For her, yeah.
419
00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:46,382
At the end of the day, it's all about her.
420
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,801
It's always been about her.
421
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,929
What happens between us,
I can't fucking control.
422
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:54,348
Lord knows I've tried every which way.
423
00:23:55,183 --> 00:23:58,978
But what I can do
is be the absolute best I can be for her.
424
00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:02,356
If I followed you to New York,
425
00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:06,026
I'd just be hoping against hope
that we lived happily ever after.
426
00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:08,946
Maybe we do.
Maybe we don't.
427
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:11,949
But you got some shit you got to do, lady.
428
00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,993
I think you should do it.
429
00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:17,037
I'll hold down the fort.
430
00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:19,373
Keep her off the pole.
431
00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:23,794
Oh, Jesus.
432
00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,381
I wish you hadn't just said all that.
433
00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,342
- Why?
- I don't know.
434
00:24:30,385 --> 00:24:34,221
Cos, you know,
it just makes me love you even more.
435
00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:38,225
Yeah, well...
that really can't be helped.
436
00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:39,768
I am me, after all.
437
00:24:49,404 --> 00:24:52,156
A quick one while they're away?
438
00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,991
You're disgusting.
439
00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,963
Look, just because
it's you and me now, alone,
440
00:25:49,005 --> 00:25:51,590
doesn't mean I'm gonna
let you get away with stuff.
441
00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:52,758
Good.
442
00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:55,344
Cos I'm not gonna let you
get away with stuff either.
443
00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,721
Oh, really?
What are you gonna do?
444
00:25:57,764 --> 00:25:59,139
I'm not scared of you.
445
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:03,143
You're very diminutive,
and I know jujitsu.
446
00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:06,480
- I can still kick your ass.
- Yeah, at Guitar Hero, maybe.
447
00:26:08,191 --> 00:26:10,526
- Hey.
- Hey, yourself.
448
00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:12,528
- Is this your offspring?
- Yes, this is...
449
00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,196
This is Becca, my daughter,
450
00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:15,406
and this is...
451
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,243
This is surfer girl.
452
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:21,245
Hello, surfer girl.
453
00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:22,371
It's Michelle.
454
00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:25,374
- My name is Michelle.
- OK.
455
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,376
I'll go check out that head shop.
456
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:31,630
I'll be watching.
Eyes in the back of my head.
457
00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:33,048
- Head shop.
- Wow.
458
00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:36,218
- Oh, boy.
- Cute kid.
459
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:38,345
She has her moments.
460
00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:41,932
So, Michelle, huh?
That's interesting.
461
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:44,143
You're disappointed, aren't you?
462
00:26:44,185 --> 00:26:45,894
I did kind of like not knowing.
463
00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:49,523
It was cool
in a Last Tango In Paris kind of way.
464
00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:52,359
I think you mythologise me
just a little too much.
465
00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:56,322
You know, I'm just a normal girl...
466
00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:59,450
with normal wants and needs.
467
00:26:59,492 --> 00:27:03,454
You know, I have been
around the block a time or two, lady,
468
00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:06,123
and there ain't nothing normal about you.
469
00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:09,543
You're still the sweetest guy
I ever fucked and robbed.
470
00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:11,879
You know,
I'd like nothing more than to get high,
471
00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:14,632
fuck you goofy,
and indulge your larcenous tendencies,
472
00:27:14,674 --> 00:27:19,345
but I have a serious child-raising...
473
00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:22,723
problem here. Look at that.
474
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:25,225
I think she's looking for a bong.
475
00:27:33,234 --> 00:27:35,277
And the dance continues.
476
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,695
So it does.
477
00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:46,955
She seems nice.
478
00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:50,334
I don't know if "nice" is exactly the word.
479
00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:52,044
Have you been intimate with her?
480
00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:54,046
Why do you got to talk to me like that?
481
00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:57,132
What? You're always up in my grill
about boys.
482
00:27:57,175 --> 00:28:00,302
Well, and up in your grill
I always will be. Count on it.
483
00:28:01,304 --> 00:28:03,430
Don't stop, OK?
484
00:28:03,473 --> 00:28:06,392
Even if I curse your name
on a semi-daily basis.
485
00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:08,936
I wouldn't dream of it.
That's the gig.
486
00:28:08,978 --> 00:28:10,312
Hey...
487
00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,943
- What's this for?
- For staying.
488
00:28:15,985 --> 00:28:19,947
You're stuck on the island now.
And you did it for me.
489
00:28:19,989 --> 00:28:22,783
What are you talking about?
I like it here. It's nice.
490
00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:25,160
The sun is chirping.
The birds are shining.
491
00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:26,745
The water's wet.
492
00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,789
Life is good, sweetheart.
493
00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:30,332
Life is good.
35424
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