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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,251 --> 00:00:02,751 Previously on Californication... 2 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,587 I think we should go into business together. 3 00:00:05,630 --> 00:00:08,590 To be honest, I'm interviewing for jobs in New York. 4 00:00:08,633 --> 00:00:09,925 So, how do you two know each other? 5 00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,219 - Hank is the father. - Alleged father. 6 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:16,265 I'll raise the child and I'll love it as my own. 7 00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:17,266 Oh, my God. 8 00:00:17,308 --> 00:00:19,268 Look, look, look, Damien and Becca. 9 00:00:19,310 --> 00:00:21,937 Because isn't that the Becca right there? 10 00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:23,272 Bec! 11 00:00:23,314 --> 00:00:26,108 - I don't want to do any more porn. - Really? 12 00:00:26,151 --> 00:00:29,278 I'd kind of like the last person I had on-screen sex with to be you. 13 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,989 All right, Marcy. After all the shit we've been through, 14 00:00:32,032 --> 00:00:34,533 I want to get a divorce. I'm gonna be with Daisy. 15 00:00:34,576 --> 00:00:35,743 You fucked my man. 16 00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:38,078 Marcy, I didn't mean... 17 00:00:38,121 --> 00:00:39,663 - She's here. - She who? 18 00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,040 "She who"? Janie, you asshole! 19 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,416 Come on! 20 00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:45,961 What? 21 00:00:46,004 --> 00:00:47,963 Lew. Shit, Lew. 22 00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,591 Lew! Lew! 23 00:00:51,426 --> 00:00:52,634 Lew? 24 00:02:00,578 --> 00:02:03,038 You got yourself a bit of a ritual there, huh? 25 00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:04,248 Yep. 26 00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:08,919 Every time I finish a book - whiskey, weed, and Warren Zevon. 27 00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,754 It's the little things. 28 00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,757 - Yeah. How'd it turn out? - Hard to say. 29 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,926 You'd know better than I. You lived the motherfucker. 30 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:19,596 Yeah, but living it right means you don't remember much of it at all. 31 00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:22,224 You can read all about it here. Your dirty life and times. 32 00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:26,145 What's next? 33 00:02:27,188 --> 00:02:30,899 I suppose I try to get my life back in order in some fashion. 34 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,401 Yeah, you... 35 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,069 You do that. 36 00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:37,739 Remember, at the end of the day, 37 00:02:37,782 --> 00:02:39,199 it's all about her. 38 00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,786 - Who? - You know. 39 00:02:46,207 --> 00:02:48,333 I'll miss seeing you around here, man. 40 00:02:49,377 --> 00:02:50,961 Gonna miss you too. 41 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:55,841 And it's true what they say, you know. 42 00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:58,385 You got one hell of a band. 43 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,384 What up, buttercup? 44 00:04:22,303 --> 00:04:26,807 I just thought I'd pay my last respects 45 00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,976 before I hit the road. 46 00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:31,937 - Where you headed? - Didn't you get the memo? 47 00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:35,941 I'm taking Fucking & Punching all over this fair country of ours. 48 00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,402 Coming soon to a supersized bookstore near you. 49 00:04:38,444 --> 00:04:42,823 - Mothers, lock up your sons. - And husbands. 50 00:04:50,039 --> 00:04:54,042 I'm gonna miss him... way more than I thought. 51 00:04:54,085 --> 00:04:55,711 Yeah, I know the feeling. 52 00:04:56,504 --> 00:04:59,339 At first, fucking him was... 53 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,258 was just a way of yanking your chain. 54 00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:03,010 Really? You don't say? 55 00:05:03,052 --> 00:05:05,929 Yeah, but then he just had to win me over, you know? 56 00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,598 Like some sweet, mangy little puppy 57 00:05:08,641 --> 00:05:11,268 who just wanted someone to pet him and tell him he was a good boy. 58 00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:14,146 - Then he'd shit the rug. - Or hump your leg. 59 00:05:15,189 --> 00:05:16,815 Where's your first stop? 60 00:05:16,858 --> 00:05:18,525 - Borders in Tacoma. - Know it. 61 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,610 There's a great coffee shop down the street. 62 00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,696 Around the block, there's this old record store, 63 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:25,407 sells used vinyl, tons of it, fantastic. 64 00:05:25,450 --> 00:05:29,119 Great! Old guy's guide to Tacoma. Good to know. 65 00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:31,705 Well, just be gentle with our retarded love child. 66 00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:32,998 I will. 67 00:05:33,958 --> 00:05:36,626 Be good out there, psycho. 68 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,086 Tell 'em who sent you. 69 00:05:50,641 --> 00:05:53,143 Well, if it isn't the madre of my bambino. 70 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,686 What's shakin', sweet duck? 71 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,230 - I got a job. - A good job? 72 00:05:57,273 --> 00:06:00,484 A great job. I mean, my dream job. 73 00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,110 Way to go, fancy pants. 74 00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:05,072 Yeah. It's... 75 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:08,158 - It's in New York. - Even better. 76 00:06:08,201 --> 00:06:11,620 - Right. I start Monday. - No time like the present. 77 00:06:11,662 --> 00:06:14,373 Oh, my God. You're taking this much better than I thought. 78 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:15,457 Why shouldn't I? 79 00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:18,668 I've been trying to get back to New York for years now. 80 00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,921 - Hank. - Karen. 81 00:06:20,963 --> 00:06:22,339 I got a job. 82 00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:24,508 You got a job. That's what you just said. 83 00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:28,678 - Not you. - No. Not... I'm not following. 84 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:31,515 No, you're not following. I mean, you're not invited. 85 00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,142 That is fucked up. 86 00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:38,355 Well, this is not about you or us, OK? This is about me and Becca. 87 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,107 But you can't just whisk her away 88 00:06:40,149 --> 00:06:43,110 and expect me to sit here in L.A. With a dry thumb up my ass. 89 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:44,194 Well, you know what? 90 00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:47,155 You do have some serious shit to deal with here. 91 00:06:47,198 --> 00:06:48,907 Karen, I can write anywhere... 92 00:06:48,991 --> 00:06:51,618 or not, as the case may be, which is not the case. 93 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:54,830 I just finished the Ashby book. This morning, as a matter of fact. 94 00:06:54,872 --> 00:06:56,289 - Honey, I'm on fire... - Good for you. 95 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:57,833 ...which is why we should be together, 96 00:06:57,875 --> 00:07:00,710 or, at the very least, why I should be your manny. 97 00:07:02,046 --> 00:07:04,214 - You laugh? - My manny? 98 00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:08,385 You're a high-powered career gal now. You need somebody to hold down the fort. 99 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,928 - A major-domo. - Thank you. 100 00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,179 I'm your man, woman. 101 00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:14,599 I'm not talking about your writing or lack thereof, OK? 102 00:07:14,642 --> 00:07:19,688 I was talking about the impending arrival of your latest mistake. Did you forget? 103 00:07:19,730 --> 00:07:23,650 Sir Francis Drake said he was down with raising the little bastard as his own. 104 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,735 - You heard the bearded woman. - You're OK with that? 105 00:07:25,778 --> 00:07:29,156 I'm not entirely convinced it's mine. I never came inside her. 106 00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:32,284 I don't think I did. I mean, when she broncoed me, 107 00:07:32,326 --> 00:07:35,078 - I spasmed out a little dog water. - Thank you. 108 00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:38,248 I'm still hoping she banged some dude in the P.F. Chang's parking lot 109 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:42,043 while she was looking for Mr. Goodbar. It's an entirely plausible scenario. 110 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,671 There is something wrong with you. 111 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,257 Well, I'm special. I think I'm special. I really do. 112 00:07:47,967 --> 00:07:51,219 What does Jeff Becca think about you tearing our family apart? 113 00:07:51,262 --> 00:07:54,723 - Well, right now, she's heartbroken. - Of course she's heartbroken. 114 00:07:54,765 --> 00:07:57,684 You rip her away from her old man, you don't invite him to come with. 115 00:07:57,727 --> 00:07:58,894 That shit is harsh! 116 00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:01,605 - She's heartbroken about Damien. - What about Damien? 117 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:06,485 Well, she saw him making out with someone else at Mia's party, so... 118 00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:16,578 Welcome to All American Burger. May I take your order? 119 00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:19,581 Can I get a jumbo "What the fuck were you thinking?" 120 00:08:19,624 --> 00:08:22,167 That's the problem, I wasn't thinking. 121 00:08:23,002 --> 00:08:25,879 I mean, she fucking kissed me, dude. 122 00:08:25,963 --> 00:08:31,384 That kind of shit just doesn't just happen to me a lot... 123 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,594 like ever. 124 00:08:36,557 --> 00:08:40,185 Be that as it may, on the flip side, 125 00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,812 what I've got is a young girl whose heart is broken. 126 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,523 Yeah, I know. 127 00:08:44,565 --> 00:08:46,900 I know, and I feel all sorts of awful about it. 128 00:08:48,402 --> 00:08:51,279 But, you know, I've been thinking about it, 129 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:55,617 and given the opportunity to do it again, 130 00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:59,079 I don't think it would go any differently, honestly. 131 00:08:59,121 --> 00:09:03,375 I mean, a beautiful girl is kind enough to kiss you... 132 00:09:05,002 --> 00:09:06,795 fuck, you kiss her right back. 133 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,839 Because... 134 00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:13,593 you know, who knows where that kiss is gonna take you? 135 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:23,812 I went there to kick his ass, and I stayed to soak up his wisdom. 136 00:09:23,854 --> 00:09:26,565 They know more than we do, the children. We forget. 137 00:09:26,607 --> 00:09:28,984 Which is why we end up in these fucked-up situations. 138 00:09:29,026 --> 00:09:32,487 Yeah. Selling BMWs in the Valley? What the fuck, dude? 139 00:09:33,155 --> 00:09:35,282 Don't kid yourself, pal. I always was. 140 00:09:35,324 --> 00:09:38,535 Selling writers, actors, directors... it's all the same shit. 141 00:09:38,578 --> 00:09:41,955 - Have you talked to the Marce? - Through the lawyers. 142 00:09:41,998 --> 00:09:46,376 She's a little feral right now, wants to take me for all I'm worth. 143 00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,169 Oh, no. All four figures? 144 00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:51,881 I don't even care, really. I just want to be happy, you know. 145 00:09:51,924 --> 00:09:54,593 That's all that matters now, the big happy. 146 00:09:54,635 --> 00:09:58,221 Pimping rides, living in a studio apartment in the valley with a porno chick. 147 00:09:58,264 --> 00:10:01,349 Hey, retired porno chick. 148 00:10:01,392 --> 00:10:04,686 She's taking some Groundlings classes. She's really quite funny. 149 00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:06,896 I am sure she's a deep-throating Lucille Ball. 150 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:08,440 Bully for her, but what about you? 151 00:10:08,482 --> 00:10:11,526 Does this work for you, give you the big happy? 152 00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,195 More than you know, pal. I feel like I'm 23 again. 153 00:10:14,238 --> 00:10:16,197 You know, life is simple. 154 00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:19,159 It's good. Money's a little tight. 155 00:10:19,201 --> 00:10:22,370 I'm gonna have to use the office Xerox to copy your manuscript. 156 00:10:22,413 --> 00:10:24,539 I'm so happy I stayed with you. 157 00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:28,001 Me too. Good for us. We're making shit happen. 158 00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:31,338 Let's go, Runkle. You got to be on that sales floor at all times. 159 00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:34,674 A. B.C., baby, "Always Be Closing." 160 00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,801 Yes, sir! 161 00:10:36,844 --> 00:10:40,680 "A. B.C., baby, 'Always Be Closing"'. These fucking guys... 162 00:10:40,723 --> 00:10:44,225 They all think they're the only one who ever saw Glengarry Glen Ross. 163 00:10:44,268 --> 00:10:47,062 Hey, if you want, I'll take you out back and shoot you. 164 00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,355 I will let you know. 165 00:10:48,397 --> 00:10:53,902 That number, my friend, puts you in a beautiful '07 convertible with navigation. 166 00:10:53,944 --> 00:10:55,779 You're good. 167 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:59,366 How we doing over here? Chuck Runkle. 168 00:10:59,408 --> 00:11:00,742 Nice to meet you. 169 00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:02,535 There goes my agent. 170 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:09,209 I'm sick to my stomach. 171 00:11:09,251 --> 00:11:11,920 It's gonna get better. I promise. 172 00:11:11,962 --> 00:11:14,130 - Maybe it does, maybe it doesn't. - Well... 173 00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,466 - Either way, Dad, words don't help. - Yeah. 174 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:20,136 I suddenly understand the appeal of cigarettes and alcohol. 175 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:22,347 Here's an idea, why don't you hang behind with me 176 00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,057 and nurse your broken heart? 177 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:28,478 We could smoke some cigarettes, pass the bottle, listen to some blues. 178 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:29,729 It'll be fun. 179 00:11:29,772 --> 00:11:34,317 - Hank, that is very manipulative. - No! It's not. It's not manipulative. 180 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,027 - Dad... - It's a suggestion. 181 00:11:36,070 --> 00:11:39,614 ...I'm going with Mom. I need a change of scenery. 182 00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:41,533 I don't want to be driving down the street 183 00:11:41,575 --> 00:11:43,493 and be reminded of all the places we kissed. 184 00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:44,744 "All the places"? 185 00:11:44,787 --> 00:11:47,539 What kind of an operation are you running here? 186 00:11:47,581 --> 00:11:48,998 What the hell? 187 00:11:49,041 --> 00:11:51,126 Hey, no, don't answer that. It's rude. 188 00:11:51,168 --> 00:11:54,587 - No, it's Sonja. It could be important. - Well, really don't answer it. 189 00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:58,133 - No! It's around the due date, right? - Voicemail, that's what it's for. 190 00:11:58,175 --> 00:11:59,592 No, no. Excuse me, sweetie. 191 00:11:59,635 --> 00:12:00,885 Hey, Sonja. 192 00:12:01,512 --> 00:12:02,637 You are? 193 00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,723 Drugs! I want some fucking drugs! 194 00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:08,143 Fuck! Can't you hippies make this shit stop?! 195 00:12:08,185 --> 00:12:09,227 Breathe, Mommy. 196 00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:13,356 - It's all about transcending... - Fuck you, you stupid fucking doula! 197 00:12:13,399 --> 00:12:15,734 - Hey. - Oh, God. Hey. Hi, guys. 198 00:12:15,776 --> 00:12:17,527 Thanks. Thanks for coming. 199 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,697 By the way, fuck you for putting this monster in my stomach. 200 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,324 I'm not entirely sure it's mine. There will be some genetic tests. 201 00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:25,160 Do not be an asshole! 202 00:12:25,202 --> 00:12:27,328 You're right, and when you're right, you're right. 203 00:12:27,371 --> 00:12:30,540 Let's get the little fucker out first, then we're gonna test. 204 00:12:30,583 --> 00:12:33,293 Oh, hey, look at you. Look who showed up. 205 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:35,920 I'm back. The man's back. 206 00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:37,714 Have you been drinking? 207 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,133 Just a little tequila for the pain. 208 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:43,136 You bearded fucking lunatic. Who do you think you are? 209 00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:45,221 You're stressed out? You need a drink? 210 00:12:45,264 --> 00:12:47,015 You know what? Don't come near me. 211 00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:50,101 I'll rip his handlebars right off your fucking face! 212 00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:53,354 - I'll do it. Fucking drunk. - You got to get your shit together. 213 00:12:53,397 --> 00:12:57,233 It's time to stand up and extract that little artist within. Come on. 214 00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:00,445 - I'm just a fraud, Hank. - I know, but it's time to stand up. 215 00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:02,363 - No. - Take the dress off already. 216 00:13:02,406 --> 00:13:03,907 Oh, stop. 217 00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,201 - I am. - Don't. Don't. 218 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:08,870 No, actually, that's good. That's good. 219 00:13:08,913 --> 00:13:12,207 You march over there with those tears, and tell her they're tears of joy, OK? 220 00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:14,250 She will swoon. Trust me. Go. 221 00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:15,335 - OK. - You go. 222 00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:17,128 - Thank you. - Yes, you're welcome. 223 00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,963 You're beautiful. 224 00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,841 Just go. 225 00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:23,051 No, you got to go alone. 226 00:13:26,722 --> 00:13:28,139 OK, I'm just gonna... 227 00:13:28,974 --> 00:13:30,141 What the fuck, Julian? 228 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:31,726 - I'm crying. - Are you crying? 229 00:13:31,769 --> 00:13:33,686 - Yeah. - What the fuck? 230 00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:37,232 I'm the one fucking pushing out a goddamn bowling ball out of my pussy, 231 00:13:37,274 --> 00:13:40,777 my sweet, beautiful pussy that is never gonna look the same again! 232 00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:42,529 - I should be crying! - You are. 233 00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,031 I did have a pretty pussy, didn't I, Hank? 234 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,991 Oh, my God, yes. I mean, a beautiful pussy. 235 00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:50,954 - I would put it in the Top 10 of pussies. - I love your pussy, too. 236 00:13:50,996 --> 00:13:53,414 You know, no disrespect to yours. 237 00:13:53,457 --> 00:13:55,375 Karen, number-one pussy in the world, 238 00:13:55,459 --> 00:13:57,836 - with a bullet. - Fuck you. 239 00:14:09,181 --> 00:14:11,349 Lover! 240 00:14:11,392 --> 00:14:12,433 You home? 241 00:14:24,572 --> 00:14:26,155 Oh, yeah. 242 00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:27,740 Charlie. 243 00:14:27,825 --> 00:14:29,242 Oh, shit. 244 00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:32,120 I know that look. He's gonna blow. 245 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,414 Slow it down, Runkle. 246 00:14:38,168 --> 00:14:41,629 Forget it, Jake. It's Vaginatown! 247 00:14:41,672 --> 00:14:44,257 I know. That's the only way... 248 00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,509 Charlie, what are you doing? 249 00:14:48,596 --> 00:14:49,637 I'm sorry. 250 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:51,931 Can you just wait outside for a second? 251 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,641 Sure thing, babe. 252 00:14:58,355 --> 00:14:59,981 I'm sorry, baby. I just... 253 00:15:00,024 --> 00:15:03,192 I thought I was gonna be by myself for a while, you know? 254 00:15:03,277 --> 00:15:06,154 - Who's that? - Just a guy from my Groundlings class. 255 00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,864 We were gonna work on a sketch. 256 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:11,993 OK. I'm really sorry. I just... I thought I'd have a few minutes to myself. 257 00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:15,163 It's OK. You know I'm totally fine with you masturbating. 258 00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:19,334 It's just kind of weird when you bring somebody over. 259 00:15:19,376 --> 00:15:24,005 I understand, and it's important that we set these ground rules. 260 00:15:24,590 --> 00:15:25,798 Gus? 261 00:15:27,384 --> 00:15:29,552 Gus, this is my lover, Charlie. 262 00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:30,637 Gus, Chuck Runkle. 263 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,599 Hey, Charlie. 264 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:35,892 Should we start? 265 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:36,976 Oh, fuck. 266 00:15:37,019 --> 00:15:38,853 - Here it comes. - OK. 267 00:15:38,896 --> 00:15:40,021 - Fuck. - OK, it's time. 268 00:15:40,064 --> 00:15:42,231 - Oh, yeah. - Breathe, breathe. 269 00:15:42,274 --> 00:15:44,525 OK, go, Sonja. Go! Yes! 270 00:15:44,568 --> 00:15:45,818 Fuck! 271 00:15:48,864 --> 00:15:50,198 Push. Push! 272 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,282 Oh, my God! 273 00:15:53,452 --> 00:15:54,494 Oh, look. 274 00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:57,121 What the fuck? 275 00:15:58,290 --> 00:16:00,166 Boooooo-ya! 276 00:16:00,751 --> 00:16:02,961 Baby is black! Karen! 277 00:16:03,003 --> 00:16:06,881 The baby's black. You see that shit? God damn it! I didn't knock her up. 278 00:16:06,924 --> 00:16:08,841 - I know! - I love you. 279 00:16:08,884 --> 00:16:10,385 I love you. 280 00:16:10,427 --> 00:16:12,428 Congratulations, Mommy. 281 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:16,307 Bathe the child and bring him to me. 282 00:16:16,350 --> 00:16:20,269 I forgot about that fucking barista. He was so hot. He looked like Lenny Kravitz. 283 00:16:20,312 --> 00:16:21,312 Fuck. 284 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:23,940 I said, bathe the infant and bring him to me. 285 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,024 Coming. Coming. 286 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:27,151 Fuck, I forgot. I'm sorry, Hank. 287 00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,113 Yes. 288 00:16:30,739 --> 00:16:33,157 Oh, yes. 289 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,534 I will raise... 290 00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:37,954 this black baby as my own. 291 00:16:38,372 --> 00:16:41,040 Come here. Before you drop him, you drunk, come here. 292 00:16:41,083 --> 00:16:44,794 I will raise this black baby as my own. 293 00:16:46,130 --> 00:16:47,422 As my own. 294 00:16:51,301 --> 00:16:54,637 He's beautiful. Congratulations. 295 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,806 - He looks like me. - He doesn't look like you. 296 00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:02,145 - Hey, lover. - Hey! 297 00:17:05,691 --> 00:17:07,734 - How'd it go? - Good. 298 00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,527 I think it's gonna be really funny. 299 00:17:09,570 --> 00:17:10,820 Good. Good. 300 00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,823 I had sex with Gus. 301 00:17:15,701 --> 00:17:16,743 What? 302 00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,578 I got confused. 303 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:21,414 You got confused? What the fuck does that mean? 304 00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,332 I've never done a scene like that before 305 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:26,044 and we got to the kissing part, and I got all confused. 306 00:17:26,128 --> 00:17:28,337 My autopilot kicked in and I kissed him for real 307 00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,548 and the next thing you know, he was inside me. 308 00:17:30,591 --> 00:17:33,718 - That sounds like rape. - No, not really... 309 00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:37,722 Unless he wants to press charges. It felt good. He had a really nice cock. 310 00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:39,932 Jesus Christ, Daisy! 311 00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:42,602 I'm sorry. Does that make you feel bad? 312 00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,772 Yeah, it makes me feel bad! It makes me want to throw up! 313 00:17:45,814 --> 00:17:48,941 - Do you want me to suck your dick? - No! 314 00:17:50,235 --> 00:17:51,360 Yes. 315 00:17:51,403 --> 00:17:53,529 I don't know. Now I'm confused. 316 00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:55,990 See? This is confusing stuff! 317 00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:58,493 Maybe we should take a break. 318 00:17:58,535 --> 00:18:01,412 "Take a break"? I just left my wife for you! 319 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:03,039 I didn't ask you to, Charlie! 320 00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:04,832 I know! 321 00:18:07,002 --> 00:18:10,379 It just... seemed incredibly romantic at the time. 322 00:18:10,422 --> 00:18:11,839 It was. 323 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:15,384 Maybe we should have some sex, just fuck through the pain. 324 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,387 OK. 325 00:18:19,515 --> 00:18:22,934 OK, citizen, fuck the Gus out of me. 326 00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:41,202 Why didn't you pinch me? 327 00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,917 Jesus! Woman! 328 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:50,795 I'm tapping out. 329 00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:54,632 You had me looking for the fucking rodeo clown. 330 00:18:54,675 --> 00:18:55,800 Really? 331 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:02,765 Hey, you know what? I think you should come to New York. 332 00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,103 Well... 333 00:19:08,647 --> 00:19:10,606 Why the change of heart? 334 00:19:12,192 --> 00:19:14,402 I can't live without this. 335 00:19:14,444 --> 00:19:18,739 I thought maybe it was cos you wanted to make a black baby with me. 336 00:19:18,782 --> 00:19:22,118 - No, I just need a manny. - I have excellent references. 337 00:19:23,829 --> 00:19:27,540 Plus, my vagina's become really attached to you. 338 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,167 Not your heart? Just your vag? 339 00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:33,212 Well, it's tough if, you know, the heart and the vag are not on the same page. 340 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:36,090 But, you know what? In this instance, they are. 341 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:40,761 Well, that's terrific because I am all about improving heart-vag relations, you know? 342 00:19:40,804 --> 00:19:43,556 - It's my thing. - So we're in sync. 343 00:19:43,599 --> 00:19:46,100 Should we take advantage of that? 344 00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,102 - Could we... - Round two? 345 00:19:48,145 --> 00:19:50,730 - Yeah. - I'm answering the bell. 346 00:19:50,772 --> 00:19:53,274 You got five minutes, Runkle. 347 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,236 You look beautiful. 348 00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:59,197 That's right, motherfucker, I do. 349 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:00,948 I've always looked beautiful. 350 00:20:00,991 --> 00:20:02,325 That's true. You have. 351 00:20:02,367 --> 00:20:04,327 Then why the fuck did you have to go 352 00:20:04,369 --> 00:20:07,205 and stick your dick into some skanky porno chick? 353 00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:10,583 I don't know. I got confused. 354 00:20:10,626 --> 00:20:12,376 You could've stayed with me. 355 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,503 You were number 19. 356 00:20:14,546 --> 00:20:17,131 There were 18 cocks before you, Charlie. 357 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:20,134 Not a ton, not a rogues' gallery, 358 00:20:20,177 --> 00:20:22,970 but enough to know that I liked yours the best. 359 00:20:23,013 --> 00:20:25,932 Not the longest, not the thickest, 360 00:20:25,974 --> 00:20:29,644 little bit of English on it, but it was mine, all mine. 361 00:20:29,686 --> 00:20:33,940 And now you and your cock have betrayed me for the last time. 362 00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,776 - Don't go, Marce. - I'm already gone, baby. 363 00:20:36,818 --> 00:20:39,779 I was gone the moment you said you wanted to be with Daisy. 364 00:20:39,821 --> 00:20:42,657 You said it out loud! You can't take it back. 365 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:48,329 Oh! And... your friend Ronny Praeger called. 366 00:20:48,413 --> 00:20:51,374 He said something about Intense Video wanting to 367 00:20:51,416 --> 00:20:54,210 "Buy Vaginatown for a shitload of money." 368 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,796 Really? That's good news. 369 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:59,757 Oh, hells yeah. It's great news... for me. 370 00:21:00,926 --> 00:21:03,636 What? You said I could have everything. 371 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:07,515 But don't worry your pretty little head about it. We'll let my lawyer figure it out. 372 00:21:07,557 --> 00:21:08,683 He's really good. 373 00:21:10,185 --> 00:21:12,186 Later, Runkle. 374 00:21:16,650 --> 00:21:20,152 Where's my iPod? I can't find my fucking iPod! 375 00:21:21,363 --> 00:21:22,738 Bec... 376 00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:25,449 It's gonna be a long trip. 377 00:21:25,492 --> 00:21:26,784 Yeah. 378 00:21:28,370 --> 00:21:30,913 - Uh-oh! - What? 379 00:21:30,956 --> 00:21:33,249 Something pubescent this way comes. 380 00:21:36,253 --> 00:21:38,963 OK, I know you hate me right now. 381 00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,631 I do. 382 00:21:40,674 --> 00:21:44,635 OK, but I figured I'd hate myself even more if I didn't, 383 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,929 you know, at least say goodbye. 384 00:21:49,016 --> 00:21:51,934 That's it? That's the best you can do? 385 00:21:52,936 --> 00:21:54,312 Here, I got you something. 386 00:21:57,691 --> 00:22:01,819 I put a playlist on there. Our playlist, the one we made out to... 387 00:22:02,696 --> 00:22:04,447 - All 17 songs. - What? 388 00:22:04,531 --> 00:22:06,115 17 songs? 389 00:22:06,158 --> 00:22:07,491 That's a lot of making out. 390 00:22:07,534 --> 00:22:10,119 - Hank, could you shut up? - He said 17 songs. 391 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,579 I still loathe you. 392 00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:14,290 I know. I know. And you have every right. 393 00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:18,586 I do feel like I was unjustly seduced, but I know that doesn't make it OK. 394 00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:20,671 I just wish you weren't leaving cos... 395 00:22:23,467 --> 00:22:26,844 cos I love you... Becca Moody. 396 00:22:27,888 --> 00:22:30,723 You're like the only post-punk, heavy-metal chick 397 00:22:30,766 --> 00:22:33,392 who's ever truly rocked my world. 398 00:22:41,985 --> 00:22:44,070 Is it OK if we go upstairs for a minute? 399 00:22:44,154 --> 00:22:45,696 - Of course... - No fucking way. 400 00:22:45,739 --> 00:22:48,407 No, no. You take it out on the strand where there are people, 401 00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:51,077 and I'm watching you, eyes in the back of my head. 402 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:52,578 As always. 403 00:22:55,332 --> 00:22:57,875 Hey, Damien. Well played. 404 00:22:57,918 --> 00:22:59,585 Big ups. 405 00:23:02,172 --> 00:23:04,715 You know, that was a nice parental move. 406 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,300 I... Yeah. 407 00:23:07,177 --> 00:23:08,844 I kind of... 408 00:23:08,887 --> 00:23:10,596 I like the way you handled that shit. 409 00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:12,431 That's right, motherfucker! 410 00:23:15,143 --> 00:23:18,187 I feel kind of bad splitting them up right now. 411 00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:25,111 - Well, then don't. - What do you mean? 412 00:23:25,153 --> 00:23:27,196 You go. I stay. 413 00:23:29,324 --> 00:23:30,908 Are you crazy? 414 00:23:30,951 --> 00:23:32,993 What, you think I'd leave Becca behind? 415 00:23:33,036 --> 00:23:35,287 Well, I'm not gonna break her. I promise. 416 00:23:35,330 --> 00:23:37,331 Well, hold on a second. What about you? 417 00:23:37,374 --> 00:23:39,583 I mean, you'd give up New York? 418 00:23:40,585 --> 00:23:41,961 For her, yeah. 419 00:23:43,046 --> 00:23:46,382 At the end of the day, it's all about her. 420 00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,801 It's always been about her. 421 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,929 What happens between us, I can't fucking control. 422 00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:54,348 Lord knows I've tried every which way. 423 00:23:55,183 --> 00:23:58,978 But what I can do is be the absolute best I can be for her. 424 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:02,356 If I followed you to New York, 425 00:24:02,399 --> 00:24:06,026 I'd just be hoping against hope that we lived happily ever after. 426 00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:08,946 Maybe we do. Maybe we don't. 427 00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:11,949 But you got some shit you got to do, lady. 428 00:24:11,992 --> 00:24:13,993 I think you should do it. 429 00:24:15,203 --> 00:24:17,037 I'll hold down the fort. 430 00:24:17,747 --> 00:24:19,373 Keep her off the pole. 431 00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:23,794 Oh, Jesus. 432 00:24:25,589 --> 00:24:27,381 I wish you hadn't just said all that. 433 00:24:28,467 --> 00:24:30,342 - Why? - I don't know. 434 00:24:30,385 --> 00:24:34,221 Cos, you know, it just makes me love you even more. 435 00:24:34,264 --> 00:24:38,225 Yeah, well... that really can't be helped. 436 00:24:38,268 --> 00:24:39,768 I am me, after all. 437 00:24:49,404 --> 00:24:52,156 A quick one while they're away? 438 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,991 You're disgusting. 439 00:25:46,086 --> 00:25:48,963 Look, just because it's you and me now, alone, 440 00:25:49,005 --> 00:25:51,590 doesn't mean I'm gonna let you get away with stuff. 441 00:25:51,633 --> 00:25:52,758 Good. 442 00:25:52,801 --> 00:25:55,344 Cos I'm not gonna let you get away with stuff either. 443 00:25:55,387 --> 00:25:57,721 Oh, really? What are you gonna do? 444 00:25:57,764 --> 00:25:59,139 I'm not scared of you. 445 00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:03,143 You're very diminutive, and I know jujitsu. 446 00:26:03,186 --> 00:26:06,480 - I can still kick your ass. - Yeah, at Guitar Hero, maybe. 447 00:26:08,191 --> 00:26:10,526 - Hey. - Hey, yourself. 448 00:26:10,610 --> 00:26:12,528 - Is this your offspring? - Yes, this is... 449 00:26:12,571 --> 00:26:14,196 This is Becca, my daughter, 450 00:26:14,239 --> 00:26:15,406 and this is... 451 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:19,243 This is surfer girl. 452 00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:21,245 Hello, surfer girl. 453 00:26:21,288 --> 00:26:22,371 It's Michelle. 454 00:26:23,039 --> 00:26:25,374 - My name is Michelle. - OK. 455 00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,376 I'll go check out that head shop. 456 00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:31,630 I'll be watching. Eyes in the back of my head. 457 00:26:31,673 --> 00:26:33,048 - Head shop. - Wow. 458 00:26:33,091 --> 00:26:36,218 - Oh, boy. - Cute kid. 459 00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:38,345 She has her moments. 460 00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:41,932 So, Michelle, huh? That's interesting. 461 00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:44,143 You're disappointed, aren't you? 462 00:26:44,185 --> 00:26:45,894 I did kind of like not knowing. 463 00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:49,523 It was cool in a Last Tango In Paris kind of way. 464 00:26:49,566 --> 00:26:52,359 I think you mythologise me just a little too much. 465 00:26:53,445 --> 00:26:56,322 You know, I'm just a normal girl... 466 00:26:56,364 --> 00:26:59,450 with normal wants and needs. 467 00:26:59,492 --> 00:27:03,454 You know, I have been around the block a time or two, lady, 468 00:27:03,496 --> 00:27:06,123 and there ain't nothing normal about you. 469 00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:09,543 You're still the sweetest guy I ever fucked and robbed. 470 00:27:09,586 --> 00:27:11,879 You know, I'd like nothing more than to get high, 471 00:27:11,921 --> 00:27:14,632 fuck you goofy, and indulge your larcenous tendencies, 472 00:27:14,674 --> 00:27:19,345 but I have a serious child-raising... 473 00:27:20,597 --> 00:27:22,723 problem here. Look at that. 474 00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:25,225 I think she's looking for a bong. 475 00:27:33,234 --> 00:27:35,277 And the dance continues. 476 00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,695 So it does. 477 00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:46,955 She seems nice. 478 00:27:46,998 --> 00:27:50,334 I don't know if "nice" is exactly the word. 479 00:27:50,377 --> 00:27:52,044 Have you been intimate with her? 480 00:27:52,087 --> 00:27:54,046 Why do you got to talk to me like that? 481 00:27:54,089 --> 00:27:57,132 What? You're always up in my grill about boys. 482 00:27:57,175 --> 00:28:00,302 Well, and up in your grill I always will be. Count on it. 483 00:28:01,304 --> 00:28:03,430 Don't stop, OK? 484 00:28:03,473 --> 00:28:06,392 Even if I curse your name on a semi-daily basis. 485 00:28:06,434 --> 00:28:08,936 I wouldn't dream of it. That's the gig. 486 00:28:08,978 --> 00:28:10,312 Hey... 487 00:28:12,399 --> 00:28:15,943 - What's this for? - For staying. 488 00:28:15,985 --> 00:28:19,947 You're stuck on the island now. And you did it for me. 489 00:28:19,989 --> 00:28:22,783 What are you talking about? I like it here. It's nice. 490 00:28:22,826 --> 00:28:25,160 The sun is chirping. The birds are shining. 491 00:28:25,203 --> 00:28:26,745 The water's wet. 492 00:28:26,788 --> 00:28:28,789 Life is good, sweetheart. 493 00:28:28,832 --> 00:28:30,332 Life is good. 35424

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