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1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:05,701
And so I thought I'd give
2
00:00:05,744 --> 00:00:08,051
investigative journalism
a whirl.
3
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:10,662
Well, get a hot scoop,
follow some leads,
4
00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,360
write an expose.
5
00:00:12,403 --> 00:00:14,188
Do I... know you?
6
00:00:14,231 --> 00:00:16,016
Hayley Smith.
Remember the name.
7
00:00:16,059 --> 00:00:17,408
I'm gonna be
a famous journalist,
8
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,802
really blow the lid
off something.
9
00:00:19,845 --> 00:00:21,673
Not sure what yet.
10
00:00:21,717 --> 00:00:23,216
[chuckling] But, hey,
that's what the class is for,
11
00:00:23,240 --> 00:00:24,285
nahwhatimeanbrah?
12
00:00:24,328 --> 00:00:25,460
Ow.
13
00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,462
Stomp the presses.
14
00:00:29,681 --> 00:00:31,944
Cool butt.
Congratulations.
15
00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:41,389
Journalism. Is. Dead.
16
00:00:41,432 --> 00:00:43,434
This class is mainly gonna focus
17
00:00:43,478 --> 00:00:46,220
on picking out
the best GIFs for listicles.
18
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,265
That's what journalism is now.
19
00:00:49,136 --> 00:00:52,400
[gasps]
Oh, no!
20
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:55,055
[patriotic music plays]
21
00:00:55,098 --> 00:00:57,883
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
22
00:00:57,927 --> 00:01:01,670
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
23
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:05,021
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
24
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:08,851
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
25
00:01:10,983 --> 00:01:14,335
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
26
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,424
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
27
00:01:16,467 --> 00:01:17,599
Aah!
28
00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:22,517
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
29
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,607
♪
30
00:01:25,650 --> 00:01:28,088
Mmm!
Oh, my God, Franny.
31
00:01:28,131 --> 00:01:30,351
Are you kidding me
with this watermelon?
32
00:01:30,394 --> 00:01:32,657
Does anyone love watermelon
more than us?
33
00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,617
Is this the best day
of our whole lives?
34
00:01:35,660 --> 00:01:37,662
[sighs]
35
00:01:40,926 --> 00:01:44,147
- Mmm.
- You gonna say something or...?
36
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,235
[mouth full] Watermelon?
37
00:01:45,279 --> 00:01:47,368
I'm too depressed.
38
00:01:47,411 --> 00:01:50,893
Okay. Mmm.
39
00:01:50,936 --> 00:01:54,026
It's just that, I was really
excited about journalism.
40
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:56,594
But my professor said
journalism's dead.
41
00:01:56,638 --> 00:01:57,987
W-What do you think?
42
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,468
Should I continue
or just give up?
43
00:02:00,511 --> 00:02:01,532
[normal voice]
You could continue,
44
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:02,731
you could give up...
45
00:02:02,774 --> 00:02:04,515
Right.
T-That's what I'm asking.
46
00:02:04,559 --> 00:02:05,951
I mean, should I look
for a story?
47
00:02:05,995 --> 00:02:07,692
Or should I drop the class?
48
00:02:07,736 --> 00:02:10,782
Any way you want it,
that's the way you need it.
49
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,349
Any way you want it.
50
00:02:12,393 --> 00:02:13,916
You're not saying anything.
51
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,874
I-I want your advice.
52
00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:18,181
Hello?
53
00:02:18,225 --> 00:02:20,705
Beans?
In a salad?
54
00:02:20,749 --> 00:02:22,185
Okay...
55
00:02:22,229 --> 00:02:24,144
Are you pretending
to be on the phone?
56
00:02:26,885 --> 00:02:28,409
Cool.
57
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:30,193
Well, I'm gonna go get high
in my room
58
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,456
at 2:00 p.m.
on a Wednesday.
59
00:02:32,500 --> 00:02:34,371
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
60
00:02:34,415 --> 00:02:38,158
Wednesday... it's not spelled
how it sounds.
61
00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,203
Ugh!
62
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:41,944
Mmm.
63
00:02:41,987 --> 00:02:45,208
- The [bleep] was that?
- My parenting style, baby!
64
00:02:45,252 --> 00:02:48,603
You know my philosophy...
"Benevolent Neglect."
65
00:02:48,646 --> 00:02:50,344
I don't know.
66
00:02:50,387 --> 00:02:52,955
As a mother, you can't
be there all the time.
67
00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:55,740
Eventually, you're going to
let her down.
68
00:02:55,784 --> 00:02:57,960
So how do you prepare her
for that?
69
00:02:58,003 --> 00:03:01,006
By letting her down early
and often.
70
00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:03,226
So, you're saying you're not
gonna be there for her.
71
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:07,012
Yes.
And that's for her, ya dig?
72
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,710
Ow!
I dig, I dig!
73
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:12,017
What's Mrs S's problem?
74
00:03:12,061 --> 00:03:13,845
My babe is lost.
75
00:03:13,889 --> 00:03:16,108
- Just give
my babe some guidance. - [bong bubbling]
76
00:03:16,152 --> 00:03:18,110
Maybe I'm not lost.
77
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:21,070
And maybe my professor is wrong.
78
00:03:21,113 --> 00:03:25,030
And maybe I already know
everything about journalism.
79
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:28,077
Been saying that about you
for years.
80
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:29,513
I'm just gonna look for a story.
81
00:03:31,385 --> 00:03:33,300
That last hit was a mistake.
82
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:34,866
I can see that now.
83
00:03:34,910 --> 00:03:36,259
I'm too high.
84
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,566
[chuckling]
Me too, babe!
85
00:03:41,351 --> 00:03:45,312
HAYLEY: Maybe my story's
about clouds.
86
00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:49,098
Like, how...
where are they sometimes?
87
00:03:49,141 --> 00:03:50,926
Is this something?
88
00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:53,668
I have a worm in my mouth.
89
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:57,759
"Something to do
with clouds."
90
00:04:00,544 --> 00:04:03,286
Something to do with bubbles?
91
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:05,984
We should've brought a car.
92
00:04:06,028 --> 00:04:08,073
Stomp the presses.
93
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,921
- Butts.
- ♪ Cool, baby, know what I'm sayin'? ♪
94
00:04:09,945 --> 00:04:12,208
♪ Left cheek, right cheek,
left cheek, right cheek ♪
95
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,254
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
96
00:04:14,297 --> 00:04:15,298
♪ Show off, boom ♪
97
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,518
Jeff, I have been noticing
98
00:04:17,561 --> 00:04:20,390
a lot of cool butts
in town recently.
99
00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:21,834
My reporter's instinct
is telling me
100
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,046
to follow 'em,
find their source.
101
00:04:24,089 --> 00:04:26,614
I'm gonna follow
a different lead.
102
00:04:30,618 --> 00:04:35,057
Eat me, red spaghetti!
103
00:04:35,100 --> 00:04:37,668
♪ Now let me see that
booty work, booty work ♪
104
00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,496
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
105
00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:41,977
♪ Left cheek, right cheek,
left cheek, right cheek ♪
106
00:04:42,020 --> 00:04:43,848
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
107
00:04:43,892 --> 00:04:45,589
♪ Show off, boom ♪
108
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,809
♪ Boo-boo-booty work ♪
109
00:04:47,852 --> 00:04:49,593
HG.
110
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,291
Huh.
But what does it stand for?
111
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:52,814
Holy grail!
112
00:04:52,857 --> 00:04:56,252
Stomp the premsses!
I got a hot scoomp!
113
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,080
But I'll have to go undercover.
114
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:03,651
[doors whirring]
115
00:05:03,694 --> 00:05:05,740
I'm just a regular Hayley.
116
00:05:05,783 --> 00:05:07,176
My hat's in the Dumpster.
117
00:05:07,219 --> 00:05:09,091
Okay...
118
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:10,919
Did you need to sign up
for a class?
119
00:05:10,962 --> 00:05:13,008
'Cause she's about to start.
120
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:14,705
- Who she?
- Holly?
121
00:05:14,749 --> 00:05:17,926
HG?
The Queen of Dance Cardio?
122
00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:20,102
- Hello?
- Hello.
123
00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,625
We specialize
in The Holly Method,
124
00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,671
the only technique proven
to make you a new you.
125
00:05:23,714 --> 00:05:25,412
The first class is free.
126
00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:27,762
We will need a credit card,
though.
127
00:05:27,805 --> 00:05:29,764
The class itself is free.
128
00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:32,375
What you get from the class
costs $500.
129
00:05:32,419 --> 00:05:34,116
That's too high of a money!
130
00:05:34,159 --> 00:05:38,338
This is an expensive gym
where people have good butts.
131
00:05:38,381 --> 00:05:39,817
I don't think that's a story.
Damn.
132
00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:41,210
WOMAN: You look lost.
133
00:05:41,253 --> 00:05:42,733
Well, you look...
134
00:05:42,777 --> 00:05:46,607
♪
135
00:05:46,650 --> 00:05:49,131
...a-ma-ma-ma-mazing.
136
00:05:49,174 --> 00:05:51,002
You reek of weed.
137
00:05:51,046 --> 00:05:52,787
It's the middle of the day.
138
00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,484
It's Wednesday.
139
00:05:54,528 --> 00:05:56,356
Do you have any thoughts
on that?
140
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,140
It's not spelled how it sounds?
141
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,838
You're lost.
I just said so myself.
142
00:06:00,882 --> 00:06:02,405
But I can help.
143
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:05,016
You need someone to tell you
what to do.
144
00:06:05,060 --> 00:06:06,191
You need me.
145
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:08,324
Yes.
146
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,934
- Yes, what?
- Yes, Mommy.
147
00:06:09,978 --> 00:06:11,283
You did it.
148
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,460
You said the right answer.
149
00:06:13,503 --> 00:06:14,915
- ♪ Booty work, booty work ♪
- [women cheering]
150
00:06:14,939 --> 00:06:16,637
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
151
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:18,378
♪ Left cheek, right cheek ♪
152
00:06:19,117 --> 00:06:21,555
[up-tempo music playing]
153
00:06:21,598 --> 00:06:24,296
We gotta confuse the muscles
to get results.
154
00:06:24,340 --> 00:06:25,646
When I say leg, I mean bicep.
155
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:26,777
Just follow me.
156
00:06:26,821 --> 00:06:28,562
I am in charge of your body now.
157
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:29,867
Gimme an amen.
158
00:06:29,911 --> 00:06:31,565
ALL: Amen!
159
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,002
Good.
160
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,439
Sip some agua,
grab some protein,
161
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,572
get those bank routing numbers
to Lindsay,
162
00:06:38,615 --> 00:06:40,095
and let's get back out there.
163
00:06:40,138 --> 00:06:42,619
[cheering and squealing]
164
00:06:43,533 --> 00:06:44,882
Oh, hey, Hayley.
165
00:06:44,926 --> 00:06:46,710
How's journalism class going?
166
00:06:46,754 --> 00:06:48,843
Mom, I dropped that class
months ago.
167
00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:51,236
I am a one-class-at-a-time
kind of person.
168
00:06:51,280 --> 00:06:53,195
And right now, it's five
workout classes a day,
169
00:06:53,238 --> 00:06:54,501
seven days a week.
170
00:06:54,544 --> 00:06:56,285
But only one class at a time.
171
00:06:56,328 --> 00:06:58,505
[chuckles] That's a physical
limitation I have.
172
00:06:58,548 --> 00:07:00,245
Can't be in two classes at once.
173
00:07:00,289 --> 00:07:02,465
And I would if I could,
and HG knows that.
174
00:07:02,509 --> 00:07:04,249
She gets that I'm dedicated.
175
00:07:04,293 --> 00:07:06,513
She hasn't said it,
but sometimes I can feel
176
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:08,123
her eyes graze over me,
177
00:07:08,166 --> 00:07:10,517
and I feel oceans
of approval and love.
178
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,606
One day, I am gonna get a DMT.
179
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:14,651
That stands for
Distressed Muscle Tank.
180
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:17,132
The DMTs get to work out
next to HG.
181
00:07:17,175 --> 00:07:19,743
I just gotta put in the time,
keep getting better.
182
00:07:19,787 --> 00:07:22,307
I'm gonna go fill up my mattress
with ice and rest up for later.
183
00:07:23,399 --> 00:07:25,880
So, Hayley's in a cult.
184
00:07:25,923 --> 00:07:27,708
Yeah, an exercise cult.
185
00:07:27,751 --> 00:07:30,145
No.
It's a real cult, Roger.
186
00:07:30,188 --> 00:07:32,277
Like Jonestown
with ankle weights.
187
00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:33,670
And I should know.
188
00:07:33,714 --> 00:07:35,498
I've been in more cults
than anyone.
189
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,021
Remind me?
190
00:07:39,415 --> 00:07:40,982
- [doorbell rings]
- STAN: Francine!
191
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:42,723
Is that The Scrapbook I hear?
192
00:07:42,766 --> 00:07:44,333
I don't have my keys!
193
00:07:44,376 --> 00:07:46,216
I left them in the car
when I rolled out of it!
194
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,860
- Scrapbook!
- Scrapbook?
195
00:07:49,904 --> 00:07:50,644
- [siren wailing]
- Oh, shit!
196
00:07:50,687 --> 00:07:53,342
Scrapbook! Yay!
197
00:07:53,385 --> 00:07:55,649
Oh, wow.
Remember this?
198
00:07:55,692 --> 00:07:58,565
I liked wearing all
the red and orange clothes.
199
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:00,523
Oh, this was this vegan one.
200
00:08:00,567 --> 00:08:02,394
We ate so much spelt.
201
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:04,962
Some people had a lot of sex
with the guy.
202
00:08:05,006 --> 00:08:07,617
Those cupcakes ended up
being poisoned.
203
00:08:07,661 --> 00:08:10,228
Still have those Nikes
somewhere.
204
00:08:10,272 --> 00:08:13,275
Honey, you might fall for
cults, but let's be real...
205
00:08:13,318 --> 00:08:15,582
cults also fall for you.
206
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:17,409
Frann-ay!
[chuckles]
207
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:20,500
Always skyrocketing right
into the inner circle.
208
00:08:20,543 --> 00:08:21,849
True.
209
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:24,242
I'm either a right-hand man
or a high-up wife.
210
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,462
Oh, God, and there's me
on the altar.
211
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:28,203
You were gonna sacrifice me.
212
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:30,031
But then the knife broke!
213
00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:34,470
[laughter]
214
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,820
Ah! That was fun.
I needed that.
215
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,996
- But I gotta get back to it.
- Same.
216
00:08:39,040 --> 00:08:42,130
Yeah, it's a big time
of year for me.
217
00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,175
You've been in a lot of cults.
I remember now.
218
00:08:44,219 --> 00:08:46,830
Yeah, cults are really fun,
219
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:50,442
but I have a sixth sense about
when the fun is over.
220
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:53,097
You know, when there's
gonna be a FBI raid
221
00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:56,318
or mass soo-ey,
or blend up beavers
222
00:08:56,361 --> 00:08:58,494
and put it in
the town's water supply.
223
00:08:58,538 --> 00:08:59,800
Cool.
224
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,976
How and why did we get
into this convo again?
225
00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:03,673
- Hayley is in a cult.
- Riiight.
226
00:09:03,717 --> 00:09:06,328
- You gonna help her get out?
- I'm not helping her.
227
00:09:06,371 --> 00:09:08,156
She's gotta get out by herself
because...
228
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,723
Benevolent Neglect!
229
00:09:09,766 --> 00:09:12,290
Speaking of which, you know
what I neglect sometimes?
230
00:09:12,334 --> 00:09:13,814
My own needs.
231
00:09:13,857 --> 00:09:16,468
That's not a joke.
It's something sad.
232
00:09:19,036 --> 00:09:21,778
Whooooo!
Let's do this!
233
00:09:21,822 --> 00:09:23,432
[all whispering]
234
00:09:26,348 --> 00:09:27,436
What's going on?
235
00:09:27,479 --> 00:09:29,438
HG: Everyone huddle up
for a second.
236
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,571
We're having a bit of a problem.
237
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:34,095
The fire marshall's
been sniffing around.
238
00:09:34,138 --> 00:09:36,924
He wants to do an "inspection,"
239
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,578
and we all know what that means.
240
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,164
He's gonna come in here
and try to shut us down.
241
00:09:40,188 --> 00:09:45,149
♪
242
00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:46,586
Guns?
243
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:49,371
They have to be worth $600 each!
244
00:09:49,414 --> 00:09:50,764
And you're just
giving them to us?
245
00:09:50,807 --> 00:09:52,200
Is this real?
246
00:09:52,243 --> 00:09:55,986
♪
247
00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,466
Hey, girl, what that?
248
00:09:57,509 --> 00:09:58,859
It's my gym gun.
249
00:09:58,902 --> 00:10:00,401
Anyway, I'm just here to grab
some extra clothes
250
00:10:00,425 --> 00:10:02,384
and all of
my important documents.
251
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:03,840
I'm gonna be living at the gym
from now on,
252
00:10:03,864 --> 00:10:05,605
for maximum readiness.
253
00:10:05,648 --> 00:10:08,782
Honey, what if, just like,
as a readiness exercise,
254
00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:11,262
I said, don't go live
at the gym?
255
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,743
I'd call you a CV and tell you
to suck my butt.
256
00:10:13,787 --> 00:10:15,658
And a CV is...?
257
00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:17,007
A Commitment Vampire.
258
00:10:17,051 --> 00:10:18,008
It's the worst thing you can be.
259
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:20,271
Cool.
Perfect answer.
260
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:25,494
Looks like the fun is over
at HG Studio.
261
00:10:25,537 --> 00:10:27,757
Unfortunately, Hayley doesn't
seem to have
262
00:10:27,801 --> 00:10:29,759
my sense of cult timing.
263
00:10:29,803 --> 00:10:31,239
I'm gonna have to
help get her out.
264
00:10:31,282 --> 00:10:32,849
What happened
to Benevolent Neglect?
265
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,851
Too late for Benevolent Neglect!
266
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:36,244
We've got a new plan.
267
00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:38,681
It's called...
268
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,640
Francine's Plan.
269
00:10:45,645 --> 00:10:47,864
Keep the car running.
I'll be right out.
270
00:10:47,908 --> 00:10:49,039
Vroom vroom.
271
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:51,607
[dance music playing]
272
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:55,698
♪
273
00:10:55,742 --> 00:10:57,178
Mom?!
274
00:10:57,221 --> 00:10:58,701
Did I inspire you?
275
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,355
Yeah.
276
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:03,358
Let me just say,
you have amazing taste.
277
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,969
I wish the first cult
I ever joined was this nice.
278
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,145
- Not a cult.
- It's a great space.
279
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,800
I'm seeing
a super-charismatic leader.
280
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:13,585
The inner circle
has sick-ass tanks.
281
00:11:13,629 --> 00:11:14,717
DMTs.
282
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:17,502
- Primo cult, for sure.
- Damn right.
283
00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:19,679
But shit is about to go down.
284
00:11:19,722 --> 00:11:21,811
We have to get you out of here
right now.
285
00:11:21,855 --> 00:11:23,378
Okay, suck my butt.
286
00:11:23,421 --> 00:11:25,380
Since when do you have
advice for me?
287
00:11:25,423 --> 00:11:29,384
We will deprogram you later,
but for now, just listen.
288
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:31,821
The schematics show
a window in the bathroom.
289
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:33,562
We're gonna slip out.
290
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:36,173
Roger is waiting outside
with the car running.
291
00:11:36,217 --> 00:11:37,455
There was a funny smell
in the car,
292
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:39,176
and I couldn't get
the windows down.
293
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,656
Had to use that hammer
to get out.
294
00:11:40,700 --> 00:11:42,789
The little hammer for
if you drive into a river?
295
00:11:42,832 --> 00:11:45,052
Anyway, have you seen HG?
296
00:11:45,095 --> 00:11:46,618
I'm all in, Franny.
297
00:11:46,662 --> 00:11:47,750
All. In.
298
00:11:47,794 --> 00:11:49,621
Roger gets it!
299
00:11:49,665 --> 00:11:51,580
And you're a CV.
300
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,800
And I have to report
any CV behavior.
301
00:11:53,843 --> 00:11:54,975
- HG!
- HG!
302
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:56,585
HG, I love you!
303
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:58,152
Do you see me, HG?
304
00:11:58,195 --> 00:12:01,111
First day, HG!
Very impressive, yes?
305
00:12:02,286 --> 00:12:04,724
Hi, ladies!
Fire marshall here.
306
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,290
[music stops]
307
00:12:06,334 --> 00:12:08,075
I'm just gonna take
a quick looky-loo,
308
00:12:08,118 --> 00:12:09,598
and I will be out of your hair.
309
00:12:13,297 --> 00:12:14,777
Fire marshall?
310
00:12:14,821 --> 00:12:17,562
Fire Marshall Bill!
Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh.
311
00:12:17,606 --> 00:12:20,000
Remember that?
Oh, my God, so funny.
312
00:12:22,132 --> 00:12:25,745
I'm honored you all have taken
such an interest in my work!
313
00:12:27,529 --> 00:12:30,532
Hmm.
All the windows are sealed shut.
314
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:33,056
That's gonna be a no-go.
315
00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,450
No one's getting out of there
in a hurry.
316
00:12:37,147 --> 00:12:40,237
[laughs]
I'm not lovin' that.
317
00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:41,238
[squeak]
318
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:43,980
Whoa.
Loose floorboard?
319
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,547
[voice breaking]
When I was a kid,
320
00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:47,897
my grandma tripped
on a loose floorboard
321
00:12:47,941 --> 00:12:49,377
and fell on her butt.
322
00:12:49,420 --> 00:12:51,596
It was so embarrassing!
323
00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,381
I'm gonna have to close
this place down.
324
00:12:53,424 --> 00:12:54,904
- ROGER: Just leave!
- [gun cocks]
325
00:12:54,948 --> 00:12:56,993
No one shuts us down
over a loose floorboard!
326
00:12:57,037 --> 00:12:58,255
- [gunshot]
- Aah!
327
00:12:58,299 --> 00:12:59,822
Ah!
My tiny gun went off!
328
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:03,608
Y-You shot me in the tummy!
329
00:13:03,652 --> 00:13:05,045
- [gasps]
- Oh, my God!
330
00:13:05,088 --> 00:13:06,089
WOMAN:
What do we do?
331
00:13:06,133 --> 00:13:09,223
Everything is okay.
332
00:13:09,266 --> 00:13:10,833
This needed to happen.
333
00:13:10,877 --> 00:13:12,356
It was necessary.
334
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,271
It had to happen, HG.
335
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,838
Here's the good news...
336
00:13:15,882 --> 00:13:18,449
this brought us to Phase Two.
337
00:13:18,493 --> 00:13:20,408
Just a little sooner
than planned.
338
00:13:20,451 --> 00:13:22,279
Yeah, Phase Two, HG.
339
00:13:22,323 --> 00:13:24,151
This new woman...
what's your name?
340
00:13:24,194 --> 00:13:25,717
- HG?
- No.
341
00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:26,893
Then Britney M.
342
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:28,155
Welcome to the inner circle.
343
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:30,287
Two tosses for Britney M.
344
00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:34,726
[women cheering]
345
00:13:34,770 --> 00:13:36,032
Yay!
346
00:13:36,076 --> 00:13:37,860
In 20 minutes, we're gonna
load up the buses,
347
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,862
head to the airfield,
and take off
348
00:13:39,906 --> 00:13:43,344
for our remote studio location
in the jungles of the Congo.
349
00:13:43,387 --> 00:13:45,433
Everyone have your passports?
350
00:13:45,476 --> 00:13:47,000
Just kidding.
We have your passports.
351
00:13:47,043 --> 00:13:48,479
[ding!]
352
00:13:49,654 --> 00:13:50,873
- Ugh!
- Don't worry.
353
00:13:50,917 --> 00:13:52,744
We have your passports.
354
00:13:52,788 --> 00:13:54,355
I'm part of the "we."
355
00:13:57,184 --> 00:13:59,186
You saw what I saw.
356
00:13:59,229 --> 00:14:00,491
There's still time.
357
00:14:00,535 --> 00:14:02,580
We can't leave the country
with these people.
358
00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:04,321
You're right.
That was crazy.
359
00:14:04,365 --> 00:14:06,367
I wanna go home.
360
00:14:06,410 --> 00:14:09,370
Just follow me behind the bus,
and then start running.
361
00:14:12,025 --> 00:14:14,505
♪
362
00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:15,855
Good work, Francine.
363
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,597
What are you doing?!
364
00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,948
Betraying you,
getting a cool tank top.
365
00:14:21,991 --> 00:14:24,167
It looks great on you, Francine.
366
00:14:24,211 --> 00:14:26,996
You've got the good shoulders
for it.
367
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,084
So do I, though.
368
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:31,174
[up-tempo music playing]
369
00:14:31,218 --> 00:14:34,351
And up and back and kick,
370
00:14:34,395 --> 00:14:37,441
front, table top, extend.
371
00:14:37,485 --> 00:14:40,836
I mean, I love HG,
but what you did was savage.
372
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:43,491
Sold out your own kid for a DMT.
373
00:14:43,534 --> 00:14:45,710
My voice is the only voice
I should hear.
374
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,277
Sorry, HG.
375
00:14:47,321 --> 00:14:49,497
[quietly] I mean, I get it.
I shot a guy.
376
00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,716
But I'm like you...
I don't even feel bad about it.
377
00:14:51,760 --> 00:14:53,849
Shhhh!
Britney M.
378
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,546
[normal voice]
Almost done, HG.
379
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:58,201
And she's fine.
She's in Non-Prison Confinement.
380
00:14:58,245 --> 00:15:01,074
I don't wanna go to non-prison,
but Hayley's probably okay.
381
00:15:01,117 --> 00:15:03,337
- Oh, God.
- Ooof. I know.
382
00:15:03,380 --> 00:15:05,382
- It's really hot in here, right?
- HG: Shhhh!
383
00:15:05,426 --> 00:15:08,081
And then, I put a little bit
of mint, banana, a green apple.
384
00:15:08,124 --> 00:15:09,343
Sometimes.
385
00:15:09,386 --> 00:15:11,084
It's packed with,
like, everything...
386
00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:13,129
flax, chia, fish oil,
CBD oil, coconut oil,
387
00:15:13,173 --> 00:15:15,958
olive oil, Pennzoil...
it's very oily.
388
00:15:16,002 --> 00:15:17,786
Don't spill it,
because you'll be cleaning
389
00:15:17,829 --> 00:15:19,788
for the rest of the morning.
390
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,853
But you'll have crazy energy
if you get any in your mouth.
391
00:15:21,877 --> 00:15:23,270
How long do
I have to be in here?
392
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:25,185
Until you're ready
to dance again.
393
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,143
You mean I can just
go back to class?
394
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:28,275
Sure.
395
00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:29,972
But if you are gonna make
the smoothie,
396
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:32,714
do not smoke for
up to 36 hours after.
397
00:15:32,757 --> 00:15:34,324
You will explode.
398
00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:39,764
♪
399
00:15:39,808 --> 00:15:42,115
Hayley, I'm so sorry.
400
00:15:42,158 --> 00:15:44,421
I never should have betrayed you
for this tank top,
401
00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:45,945
even though I look amazing.
402
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:47,990
We gotta get out of here,
for real.
403
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,297
I shouldn't trust you.
404
00:15:50,340 --> 00:15:53,256
Okay, meet me tonight.
I know a way.
405
00:15:53,300 --> 00:15:56,607
Also, I figured out which one
of the girls has the bad B.O.
406
00:15:56,651 --> 00:15:57,652
It's me.
407
00:15:58,653 --> 00:16:00,742
Just a little further.
408
00:16:00,785 --> 00:16:02,526
Ah, here it is!
409
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:04,746
You see, HG?
I told you!
410
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,269
She's the real CV!
411
00:16:06,313 --> 00:16:07,444
Hayley!
412
00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,882
Oh, what, Mom?
413
00:16:10,926 --> 00:16:12,536
I wanna be in the inner circle.
414
00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:14,451
I feel really left out!
415
00:16:14,495 --> 00:16:16,062
I'll take my DMT now, thank you.
416
00:16:16,105 --> 00:16:17,759
You better watch your back!
417
00:16:17,802 --> 00:16:19,717
That DMT is mine.
418
00:16:19,761 --> 00:16:22,851
No, that DMT is mine, actually.
419
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:24,331
You two are a lot of trouble,
420
00:16:24,374 --> 00:16:26,333
and I don't have time for this.
421
00:16:26,376 --> 00:16:28,770
You're both going to non-prison.
422
00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:29,858
- What?!
- What?!
423
00:16:29,901 --> 00:16:33,035
Ooooh!
You made Mommy maaaaad.
424
00:16:33,079 --> 00:16:35,037
Shh!
You talk too much.
425
00:16:35,081 --> 00:16:37,474
[gasps]
A criticism!
426
00:16:37,518 --> 00:16:39,563
[gasps]
A flying caterpillar!
427
00:16:40,521 --> 00:16:41,522
What is wrong with us?
428
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:42,871
It's not us.
429
00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,134
It's the cult.
We're brainwashed.
430
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:48,050
Yeah, but we're the ones
who decided to join a cult.
431
00:16:48,094 --> 00:16:49,356
That's true.
432
00:16:49,399 --> 00:16:51,575
Why do I keep joining cults?
433
00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:53,099
What is that about?
434
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:56,406
Maybe it has something to do
with my mom.
435
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:59,366
She was always telling me
what to do, what to think.
436
00:16:59,409 --> 00:17:00,845
I hated it!
437
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:03,326
But maybe on some level,
438
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,981
I keep looking to re-create it?
439
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,765
I think it's the opposite
for me.
440
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:10,768
I was dying for someone
to tell me what to do,
441
00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:13,206
or at least
just give me some advice.
442
00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,382
I'd like you to be that person.
443
00:17:15,425 --> 00:17:17,036
I'm sorry.
444
00:17:17,079 --> 00:17:19,386
I just didn't want to be
like my mom.
445
00:17:19,429 --> 00:17:21,388
You're not your mom.
446
00:17:21,431 --> 00:17:24,434
But I do need you to be my mom.
447
00:17:24,478 --> 00:17:25,827
I can do that.
448
00:17:25,870 --> 00:17:28,221
Should we start a coup
against HG?
449
00:17:28,264 --> 00:17:31,267
Are you ready
for my motherly advice?
450
00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:33,139
Yes.
451
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,010
Let's dance.
452
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:37,926
♪
453
00:17:37,969 --> 00:17:39,319
Listen up, ladies!
454
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,625
I've been in a lot of cults
in my life,
455
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,366
and I know what's up.
456
00:17:43,410 --> 00:17:47,109
HG acts like a god,
but she's just a person.
457
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:49,851
A very hot, charismatic person
458
00:17:49,894 --> 00:17:51,896
with a great exercise regimen
459
00:17:51,940 --> 00:17:54,203
that gives us confidence
460
00:17:54,247 --> 00:17:57,337
and the direction
that we need in our lives,
461
00:17:57,380 --> 00:18:01,254
and cool butts that look like
two stuck-together onions!
462
00:18:01,297 --> 00:18:03,821
ALL: Yay!
463
00:18:03,865 --> 00:18:05,388
No! No.
464
00:18:05,432 --> 00:18:08,565
She means, HG is a bad person.
465
00:18:08,609 --> 00:18:11,002
And we're all brainwashed!
466
00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:15,181
She's got us exercising
in a jungle for 10 hours a day!
467
00:18:15,224 --> 00:18:18,009
Let's band together
and get out of here!
468
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:19,881
And she keeps shushing me.
It's so rude.
469
00:18:19,924 --> 00:18:22,231
[gunshot, zap]
470
00:18:22,275 --> 00:18:24,842
What's with all
the loose floorboards?
471
00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:27,410
Okay, she's not even hurt.
What gives?
472
00:18:27,454 --> 00:18:29,151
The bullets went
right through her!
473
00:18:29,195 --> 00:18:30,892
She is a god!
474
00:18:30,935 --> 00:18:33,547
♪
475
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:35,331
Oh, shit, she is!
476
00:18:35,375 --> 00:18:36,637
My bad, HG!
477
00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,422
Kneel before me.
478
00:18:39,466 --> 00:18:41,337
And remember to activate
your core
479
00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:44,427
as you beg for my forgiveness.
480
00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:46,689
Huh?
481
00:18:49,824 --> 00:18:51,347
Uh, eyes up.
482
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,783
My butt is up here.
483
00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:55,699
♪
484
00:18:55,743 --> 00:18:57,484
[zap]
485
00:18:57,527 --> 00:18:59,050
She's not a god!
486
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:00,878
She's not even a person!
487
00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,098
She's a hologram!
488
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:09,148
Uh... occupado?
489
00:19:09,191 --> 00:19:10,627
It's a big, gross man!
490
00:19:10,671 --> 00:19:12,325
On a toilet.
491
00:19:12,368 --> 00:19:14,501
Eating oysters?
492
00:19:14,544 --> 00:19:16,459
Out of a garbage bag?
493
00:19:16,503 --> 00:19:19,767
Oh, look who it is...
Scoomby-Doo.
494
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:20,768
[slurps]
495
00:19:20,811 --> 00:19:22,509
So, Holly was a hologram.
496
00:19:22,552 --> 00:19:24,293
HG equals Holly Graham.
497
00:19:24,337 --> 00:19:26,469
You figured it out.
498
00:19:26,513 --> 00:19:29,342
Come on, it's funny!
It's a joke.
499
00:19:29,385 --> 00:19:31,648
You guys should smile more,
by the way.
500
00:19:31,692 --> 00:19:33,084
[slurps]
501
00:19:33,128 --> 00:19:35,043
Yikes, dude.
What is your deal?
502
00:19:35,086 --> 00:19:36,523
My deal?
503
00:19:36,566 --> 00:19:39,613
No one ever asked the
Wizard of Oz what his deal was.
504
00:19:39,656 --> 00:19:42,311
He could sit behind a curtain,
spying on Munkins,
505
00:19:42,355 --> 00:19:44,748
and I can't ogle women
through one-way glass?
506
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,055
I've committed no crimes here.
507
00:19:47,098 --> 00:19:48,578
[slurps]
508
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:51,233
Why do I discard the shells
into the same sack
509
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,322
I take the fresh ones out of?
510
00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:56,543
Uh, I frustrate myself.
I should get two sacks.
511
00:19:56,586 --> 00:19:57,824
Sometimes you gotta swish around
512
00:19:57,848 --> 00:19:59,589
and look for the loosies
at the bottom.
513
00:19:59,633 --> 00:20:02,331
Oooh! Jackpot!
514
00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:04,768
Ugh!
Oh, that was a loogie.
515
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:07,336
I should not be spitting
my loogies in there.
516
00:20:09,077 --> 00:20:11,732
See?!
You think I'm disgusting.
517
00:20:11,775 --> 00:20:13,362
This is why I need to hide
behind the mirror
518
00:20:13,386 --> 00:20:15,214
in the first place!
519
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,999
You never would have just
let me steal your money
520
00:20:18,042 --> 00:20:19,522
so I could watch you dance
all day
521
00:20:19,566 --> 00:20:21,307
while I sit on my little toilet,
522
00:20:21,350 --> 00:20:24,223
digging through my garbage bag
full of oysters.
523
00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:28,401
[slurps]
I had to be smart about it.
524
00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:32,796
I see. You're all on
your periods or whatever.
525
00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:34,363
Ooh!
526
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:36,409
♪ Show off, show off, show off ♪
527
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:38,193
♪ Boom, show off ♪
528
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,934
Ooh!
529
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:42,806
♪ Go 'head ♪
530
00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:44,982
♪ Now let me see that
booty work, booty work ♪
531
00:20:45,026 --> 00:20:46,419
♪ Booty, boo-boo-booty work ♪
532
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,551
I never should have made you
so strong!
533
00:20:48,595 --> 00:20:51,989
One last request...
put me back on the toilet.
534
00:20:52,033 --> 00:20:54,383
I wanna die with dignity!
535
00:20:54,427 --> 00:20:55,787
- Suck our butts!
- Suck our butts!
536
00:20:56,516 --> 00:20:58,039
Buh-bye! See you soon.
537
00:20:58,089 --> 00:21:02,639
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