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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:02,130
♪ Let me hear you say Crash! ♪
2
00:00:04,504 --> 00:00:05,884
Whatcha doin'?
3
00:00:05,964 --> 00:00:07,424
I'm drawing a comic book.
4
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:09,217
I didn't know you drew comics.
5
00:00:09,300 --> 00:00:10,890
What else are you keeping from me?
6
00:00:10,969 --> 00:00:13,429
[shouting] Who do you work for?
7
00:00:14,431 --> 00:00:16,891
Right now I wish I worked
for a mouthwash company.
8
00:00:16,975 --> 00:00:18,015
[exhales]
9
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,895
Oh. Who's that muscular guy?
10
00:00:21,980 --> 00:00:22,900
That's me.
11
00:00:22,981 --> 00:00:24,611
No. The muscular guy.
12
00:00:26,192 --> 00:00:27,362
He's called The Shredder.
13
00:00:27,444 --> 00:00:30,324
It's the closest I'll get
to being a superhero.
14
00:00:30,405 --> 00:00:33,315
He saves Portland
from the evil sisters known as...
15
00:00:33,408 --> 00:00:35,118
The League of Annoyance.
16
00:00:35,201 --> 00:00:36,911
[Crash] Wow.
17
00:00:36,995 --> 00:00:39,035
They look just like Amanda and Cleo.
18
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:41,956
If I erase them,
will they disappear in real life?
19
00:00:42,584 --> 00:00:43,674
Maybe!
20
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,591
[shouts] Cleo!
21
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:50,296
-[Cleo shouting] What?
-[Crash] Darn it.
22
00:00:52,218 --> 00:00:53,508
Pesto's a character too.
23
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,805
He was bitten
by a radioactive possum.
24
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,559
Now, whenever he senses danger,
25
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,020
he curls up and plays dead.
26
00:01:01,644 --> 00:01:06,784
So... you got characters based
on your sisters and Pesto?
27
00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:10,950
Ah... It... seems
like you're forgetting someone.
28
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,819
Someone very important.
29
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:17,197
Came into your life
and changed it forever.
30
00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:19,789
Oh!
31
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:22,791
I know who you're talking about.
32
00:01:22,874 --> 00:01:24,134
My dentist, Dr. Feinblum.
33
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:27,169
[shouting] Me! I'm talking about me!
I'd make a great superhero.
34
00:01:27,253 --> 00:01:30,973
I'm tall, graceful,
and I'm not afraid of anything!
35
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:35,100
[screams loudly]
Get that werewolf away from me!
36
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,220
Crash, it's just Ms. Lopez's dog.
37
00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:41,016
His name's Jumper.
He won't hurt you.
38
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,851
Unless I tell him to.
39
00:01:46,481 --> 00:01:49,071
You can't take any chances
when you look like a chew toy.
40
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,320
Trust me. I've got the scars to prove it.
41
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,989
Hey, it was your fault
for getting that squeaker implant.
42
00:01:57,075 --> 00:01:59,615
-[squeaks]
-[laughs]
43
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:00,663
One more.
44
00:02:01,287 --> 00:02:02,287
[squeaks, laughs]
45
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,922
[both laugh]
46
00:02:03,998 --> 00:02:06,418
Uh-oh.
Jumper's getting worked up.
47
00:02:10,797 --> 00:02:13,007
What do you say?
Can I be in your comic book?
48
00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:16,261
Sure.
So, what's your superhero name gonna be?
49
00:02:16,344 --> 00:02:19,894
Ha... I don't know. I've never
really thought about it before.
50
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,853
How about...
51
00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:25,771
Purple Light, Purple Shadow...
[continues listing frenetically]
52
00:02:27,355 --> 00:02:28,305
[inhales deeply]
53
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:29,768
How about Mr. Purple?
54
00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:33,318
Why? Because I'm purple?
55
00:02:34,112 --> 00:02:35,912
Kind of obvious.
But, yes, pretty good.
56
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:41,414
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
57
00:02:42,370 --> 00:02:43,830
♪ Yo, Ima let you finish ♪
58
00:02:43,913 --> 00:02:45,623
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
59
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:46,787
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
60
00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,455
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
61
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:51,714
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
62
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,416
-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude
63
00:02:54,507 --> 00:02:56,177
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
64
00:02:56,259 --> 00:02:58,089
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
65
00:02:58,178 --> 00:02:59,508
-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
66
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:00,806
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
67
00:03:00,889 --> 00:03:02,059
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
68
00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:03,520
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
69
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:04,430
♪ What he said ♪
70
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:05,887
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
71
00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:07,187
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
72
00:03:07,270 --> 00:03:08,610
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
73
00:03:08,688 --> 00:03:09,648
♪ What he said ♪
74
00:03:09,731 --> 00:03:12,481
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
75
00:03:12,567 --> 00:03:14,607
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
76
00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:17,034
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
77
00:03:17,113 --> 00:03:18,663
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
78
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:20,120
♪ What he said? ♪
79
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:22,696
[chuckles]
80
00:03:26,331 --> 00:03:27,831
Step right up.
81
00:03:27,916 --> 00:03:32,206
Get the very first issue
of The Shredder and Mr. Purple.
82
00:03:32,295 --> 00:03:36,215
Created, written,
and illustrated by Wyatt Bernstein.
83
00:03:36,299 --> 00:03:38,129
Photocopied by me.
84
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:40,008
So, I did most of the work.
85
00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:44,642
Crash, what are you doing?
I didn't want anyone to see this.
86
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:46,104
Oh, please, Bernstein.
87
00:03:46,184 --> 00:03:50,484
You want no one to see it, you would kept
it in your closet in a trunk with a lock.
88
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:51,823
I did.
89
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:54,228
Yeah, but that lock
was so easy to pick.
90
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:56,147
I only had to use
two sticks of dynamite.
91
00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,487
Your comic book made it over
to the high school and I'm not happy.
92
00:04:01,574 --> 00:04:04,414
The textress character is clearly me.
93
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:09,080
Any similarity between the sisters and
the League is merely a coincidence.
94
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:12,495
Any claims to the contrary
will be perfunctorily disregarded.
95
00:04:13,169 --> 00:04:15,589
He means it's not really you.
96
00:04:15,672 --> 00:04:19,842
You mean the evil blond sister
whose alias is Amanda Bernstein?
97
00:04:19,926 --> 00:04:22,136
You're not the only Amanda Bernstein
in the world.
98
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,470
The only one who knows
where you sleep.
99
00:04:27,017 --> 00:04:29,477
Hey, Amanda.
I see you've been doing some reading.
100
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,731
What did you think of The Possum?
101
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:35,863
You mean the character that rolls
into a ball at the first sign of danger?
102
00:04:36,776 --> 00:04:38,146
Was that what I was doing?
103
00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:40,156
Thought I was throwing
myself on a grenade.
104
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,656
Any similarity
between your dopey looks in this book
105
00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:48,714
and your dopey face in real life
are coincidence and on purpose.
106
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,169
Have a nice day.
107
00:04:56,212 --> 00:04:59,592
Yo, Crash, The Shredderand Mr. Purple is a big hit.
108
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:01,844
I'd love to interview
you and Wyatt in my show.
109
00:05:01,926 --> 00:05:03,846
Good morning Linus Pauling?
110
00:05:03,928 --> 00:05:06,638
The show that gets
forced airtime in homeroom?
111
00:05:08,183 --> 00:05:10,063
We've just got
a great new time slot.
112
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,443
Fridays right after
The Pledge of Allegiance.
113
00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:17,531
The piece you did on scented urinal cakes
was an eye-opener.
114
00:05:17,609 --> 00:05:19,739
Now that I know they're not made of cake
115
00:05:19,819 --> 00:05:22,989
I can eat as many as I want.
I feel so good about myself.
116
00:05:24,949 --> 00:05:27,789
Where's Wyatt?
He has got to change my character.
117
00:05:27,869 --> 00:05:30,459
It's embarrassing having
people think I'm The Possum.
118
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:34,788
Not now. Scottie wants to interview me
about the comic book on his show.
119
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,876
Scottie, baby!
120
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:41,087
When I came up
with the idea for The Possum
121
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:45,554
I asked, how could I create a role model
for today's easily frightened youth?
122
00:05:47,639 --> 00:05:48,559
Hey, Crash.
123
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:52,350
Thanks a lot for making me villain
in you and Wyatt's stupid comic book.
124
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,555
Oh, is baby sad?
125
00:05:56,439 --> 00:05:59,359
No, I'm not sad.
I said: "Thanks a lot."
126
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,822
Why does everyone always
assume sarcasm with me?
127
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:04,363
Well, you are the sarcastinator.
128
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,327
Oh, yeah, and thanks
for that great name.
129
00:06:07,409 --> 00:06:08,279
Oh, you're welcome.
130
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,198
That time was sarcastic!
131
00:06:17,377 --> 00:06:19,917
There goes one more
piece of our liberty.
132
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:23,301
Get over yourself, Roland.
133
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,473
There's been some crime here lately.
134
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:27,102
You don't have to tell me.
135
00:06:27,178 --> 00:06:29,848
Every morning some fool
swipes a newspaper.
136
00:06:31,307 --> 00:06:32,477
I always put it back.
137
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:35,399
After messing up the crossword.
138
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:39,226
There's a guy going
around here stealing dogs.
139
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,105
Talk about your despicable human beings.
140
00:06:44,279 --> 00:06:45,199
It's not you, is it?
141
00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:50,489
I'm a cat person, Poulos.
I thought you knew me.
142
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:54,785
So, are these cameras on 24 hours a day?
143
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:55,873
Yup.
144
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:59,417
Then the neighborhood watch
just got itself a reality show.
145
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,922
It's about a guy who talks to cats.
146
00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,876
I already got the theme song.
147
00:07:04,966 --> 00:07:07,256
♪ Roland and his pussycats ♪
148
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:11,064
♪ Talking politicsAnd occasionally sports ♪
149
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,559
I play Roland.
150
00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:20,111
Hey, Wyatt, nice comic book.
151
00:07:20,190 --> 00:07:23,650
Great bathroom read.
I read it four times last night.
152
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:27,198
You should make that into a movie.
153
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,620
Enter it
into my Underground Film Festival.
154
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:32,369
No one wanna see
Mr. Poulos go to the bathroom so often.
155
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:35,578
I meant the comic book.
156
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:39,083
Wait, you have a newsstand
and a film festival?
157
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:41,287
I'm a complicated man.
158
00:07:42,504 --> 00:07:45,554
I've always wanted to make a movie.
And go underground.
159
00:07:45,632 --> 00:07:47,342
I want it all really.
160
00:07:48,093 --> 00:07:51,683
It would be pretty awesome
to turn my comic book into a movie.
161
00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:53,715
But movies cost a lot of money.
162
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,387
I support local artists.
163
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:58,645
Here's 80 bucks to get started.
164
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,981
I know exactly what to do with this.
165
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:05,570
[humming]
166
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,827
Well, I got the giant sandwich.
All we need is a director.
167
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:13,538
-I'll do it.
-No, I'll do it.
168
00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:15,368
Are either of you qualified?
169
00:08:15,453 --> 00:08:16,663
Extremely.
170
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:20,210
I was in A.V. Club in plumber's college.
171
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:22,879
Oh, I can't beat that.
172
00:08:25,380 --> 00:08:27,050
Feeling very good about this project.
173
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:33,465
[Poulos] Action.
174
00:08:35,473 --> 00:08:38,893
We have ways of making you talk, Possum.
175
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:39,977
Never!
176
00:08:40,729 --> 00:08:42,359
Lower the dome of doom.
177
00:08:44,149 --> 00:08:46,529
No, not the hair!
178
00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:49,569
-[Heroic music plays]
-[Female singers] ♪ The shredder... ♪
179
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,414
It's shredder time.
180
00:08:51,489 --> 00:08:52,779
♪ ...And mr. Purple ♪
181
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,536
With side of purple.
182
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:57,833
[girls laugh]
183
00:08:59,080 --> 00:09:02,000
Why are you guys laughing?
It's not in the script.
184
00:09:02,083 --> 00:09:05,553
Sorry, this is the first time
we've seen you in those costumes.
185
00:09:05,587 --> 00:09:07,917
Are those Mom's clothes?
186
00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,166
-No.
-Yes.
187
00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:12,046
[Poulos shouts] Cut, cut, cut!
188
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:13,425
What's the problem?
189
00:09:13,511 --> 00:09:17,061
I'm only doing this cause you said
I'd meet famous people at the festival.
190
00:09:17,140 --> 00:09:21,020
I don't need to see some doofus
running around in women's clothes.
191
00:09:21,102 --> 00:09:22,732
Welcome to showbiz, baby.
192
00:09:23,521 --> 00:09:27,981
I think my character would spray Pesto
with my signature scent from...
193
00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,188
[breathily] Cleo.
194
00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,027
[coughs and sneezes]
195
00:09:31,112 --> 00:09:34,492
For the last time,
we're not doing product placement.
196
00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:35,834
This is my art.
197
00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,199
If this is art,
then it's spelled with a silent "f."
198
00:09:39,287 --> 00:09:41,707
Ha! I got that.
199
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:45,167
Quiet! All right.
Let's finish the scene.
200
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,881
The hero sneaks into the lair.
He climbs up the wall
201
00:09:48,963 --> 00:09:50,803
and then shimmies across the beam.
202
00:09:50,882 --> 00:09:53,512
And then blam-o!
Rescues The Possum.
203
00:09:54,219 --> 00:09:57,849
Great. And what does The Shredder do
while I'm being so heroic?
204
00:09:57,931 --> 00:10:00,231
The shredder is the hero.
205
00:10:00,308 --> 00:10:02,558
You are the sidekick!
206
00:10:02,644 --> 00:10:05,274
You get beat up by the girls
and stuffed in that barrel.
207
00:10:05,355 --> 00:10:07,435
[scoffs] I'm not
getting stuck in a barrel.
208
00:10:07,524 --> 00:10:08,864
How would that even happen?
209
00:10:10,318 --> 00:10:12,238
[exclaims]
210
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,410
Welcome to showbiz, baby.
211
00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,115
That's lunch!
212
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:18,700
Poulos needs his cold cuts.
213
00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:27,213
Welcome to Good morning Linus Pauling.
I'm here with Wyatt and Crash
214
00:10:27,293 --> 00:10:30,423
whose comic book is sweeping
the school faster than pink eye.
215
00:10:30,505 --> 00:10:33,215
Now what inspired you
to write this comic?
216
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:34,929
Well, I had pink eye.
217
00:10:35,010 --> 00:10:38,010
So... I was sitting at home drawing.
218
00:10:38,680 --> 00:10:40,850
I never thought
anyone else would see it, so...
219
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:43,602
Scottie, I know
raw talent when I see it.
220
00:10:43,685 --> 00:10:46,015
Sadly, I don't know
raw chicken when I see it.
221
00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:50,358
Have you ever had your stomach pumped?
It's not as much fun as it sounds.
222
00:10:51,526 --> 00:10:53,646
Okay... [clears throat]
Back to the comic book.
223
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:56,110
Are you working on the next issue?
224
00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:59,577
Actually, we're making a movie.
We already have a scene in the can
225
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:02,289
and some others
that aren't in the bathroom.
226
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:05,924
What makes this so cool
227
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,959
is that crash is your sidekick
in this story and in real life.
228
00:11:09,044 --> 00:11:10,214
Yeah, kind of.
229
00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:13,085
I'm not really a sidekick.
230
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,723
I'm more like the jelly.
231
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:18,349
And Wyatt's the peanut butter.
They're only good together.
232
00:11:18,428 --> 00:11:20,138
I think jelly's overrated.
233
00:11:20,221 --> 00:11:22,521
I like peanut butter
and banana sandwiches.
234
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:25,059
I also like peanut butter on celery.
235
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:27,604
[groaning]
236
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:33,937
Yeah? Well,
Jelly doesn't need peanut butter either!
237
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:36,987
It can go on biscuits!
This interview is over!
238
00:11:38,406 --> 00:11:39,486
Over!
239
00:11:43,078 --> 00:11:44,908
Oh, you know what's good on biscuits?
240
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,406
Peanut butter.
241
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:50,129
Over!
242
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:58,929
We're losing patience.
243
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:04,562
Give up the codes
or get sprayed with the truth serum.
244
00:12:04,641 --> 00:12:05,851
By Cleo.
245
00:12:07,477 --> 00:12:08,517
I'll never talk.
246
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:11,023
[Russian accent]
Oh, you'll talk, all right.
247
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:12,066
[Poulos] Cut!
248
00:12:12,148 --> 00:12:14,148
Amanda, what's with the accent?
249
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,614
[normal voice]
It's called acting.
250
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:22,528
Step aside, people, step aside.
I am a very important person
251
00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:25,617
who is talking loudly
on his cell phone right now.
252
00:12:25,704 --> 00:12:28,714
Hello, Hollywood.
Yes, I want a piece of the profits,
253
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:32,130
A piece of the pizza, and a trailer
with a chocolate monkey in it.
254
00:12:33,086 --> 00:12:35,166
[Russian accent]
I can't work with distractions.
255
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:38,841
Here. I rewrote the scene.
256
00:12:38,925 --> 00:12:40,135
I spiced it up a bit.
257
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:42,600
This is written in barbeque sauce.
258
00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,019
Spicy barbeque sauce.
259
00:12:45,640 --> 00:12:48,890
Basic concept:
I'm the hero, and Bernstein's the jelly.
260
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:52,107
Now if you need me,
I'll be in my chocolate monkey trailer.
261
00:12:52,188 --> 00:12:55,778
Hello, Hollywood, I want to yell
at someone and look important.
262
00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:59,449
Don't tell me it isn't a real phone.
I'll tell you what's a real phone.
263
00:13:04,826 --> 00:13:07,366
The hot air balloon...
264
00:13:07,454 --> 00:13:09,794
[gasps] ...catches fire.
265
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:10,873
[laughs]
266
00:13:10,957 --> 00:13:14,707
Crash, what's going on?
I heard you had a meltdown on the set.
267
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:16,304
No, I'm just fixing the script.
268
00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:18,589
There's nothing wrong with my script.
269
00:13:18,673 --> 00:13:20,513
Nothing that couldn't be fixed.
270
00:13:20,592 --> 00:13:22,222
I added a lot more Mr. Purple
271
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,392
and gave you an awesome catchphrase.
272
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,771
[high-pitched]
"You saved my butt, Mr. Purple."
273
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,728
That's a horrible catchphrase.
274
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,598
The hero never needs his butt saved.
275
00:13:30,685 --> 00:13:32,095
The hero saves butts.
276
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,607
Well, good news.
You're not the hero anymore.
277
00:13:34,689 --> 00:13:37,689
Now you can see what it's like
to be the sidekick.
278
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:40,776
Sidekick? Is that what got
your underwear all twisted?
279
00:13:40,862 --> 00:13:42,032
[grudgingly] Yes.
280
00:13:42,113 --> 00:13:44,323
Well, that and
my new underwear twister.
281
00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,873
Not my best impulse purchase.
282
00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:52,365
Look, Crash, it was a great idea
to put you in the comic book.
283
00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:55,377
But now it feels like
you're trying to take control.
284
00:13:55,460 --> 00:13:58,130
This is my movie.
It's based on my comic book.
285
00:13:58,213 --> 00:13:59,963
So let's do it my way.
286
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:03,968
"My, my", sounds like someone's
got a case of the "mys".
287
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:07,062
-Crash...
-No, I quit. I'm making my own movie.
288
00:14:07,138 --> 00:14:10,728
That's crazy.
You write with condiments.
289
00:14:10,809 --> 00:14:12,349
Now get off my set!
290
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:14,305
This is our bedroom!
291
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:16,266
Now Mr. Purple
292
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,106
storms off in a huff.
293
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,781
-Great. Let me get the door for you.
-[angrily] Great!
294
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:24,571
[yelps]
295
00:14:24,656 --> 00:14:27,156
You storm off in a huff.
I'm staying here.
296
00:14:27,242 --> 00:14:28,332
Fine.
297
00:14:30,412 --> 00:14:32,082
Do you call that a huff?
298
00:14:33,039 --> 00:14:34,419
Oh, man, he's good.
299
00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:42,876
Okay.
The Possum's been captured.
300
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:47,426
I fly in on my jet-powered snowboard
and take out the League of Annoyance.
301
00:14:47,512 --> 00:14:50,522
[Russian accent]
I can't believe I'm working for kids.
302
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:52,684
What's with the accent?
303
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:55,227
Does nobody know what acting is?
304
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:57,562
I think it's hot.
305
00:14:57,647 --> 00:14:59,517
[normal voice] I'm dropping it.
306
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,358
When do I get to hit somebody?
307
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:05,565
I hope you can take a punch.
308
00:15:05,655 --> 00:15:07,065
[scoffs] From a girl?
309
00:15:07,824 --> 00:15:09,284
It's just a play punch, right?
310
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:14,787
Keep it down over there!
I'm making a real movie over here.
311
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,542
[deep voice] In a world
312
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:19,415
where evil
313
00:15:19,502 --> 00:15:22,172
lurks behind every girl
314
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:24,465
and a 12-foot sandwich
315
00:15:24,549 --> 00:15:27,639
costs 80 dolars.
316
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:31,432
Who're you talking to?
Wyatt took the camera.
317
00:15:31,514 --> 00:15:32,524
[normal voice] Cut!
318
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:35,389
There's nothing to cut.
I told you, you don't have a camera.
319
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:37,476
What are you wearing?
320
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:39,402
You don't look like The Shredder.
321
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,901
The name's Plunger.
322
00:15:41,983 --> 00:15:44,493
I look really silly
in snowboarding clothes.
323
00:15:46,154 --> 00:15:48,744
I'm only here
because you promised me $50.
324
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:49,873
And you'll get it.
325
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,199
Now our financing's
a little tight, though.
326
00:15:52,285 --> 00:15:54,325
Mrs. B moved her purse
to a higher shelf.
327
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:57,830
Well, hurry it up.
328
00:15:57,916 --> 00:16:00,746
This suit's riding up my grand canyon
like a rented burro.
329
00:16:01,544 --> 00:16:03,554
Hey, I'm the director.
330
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,840
You just get in that barrel
and look pretty.
331
00:16:09,177 --> 00:16:12,467
Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut!
332
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:15,015
You can't call cut on my movie.
I haven't called action.
333
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:16,480
I'm sorry. Go right ahead.
334
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,653
-Action!
-Cut!
335
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:20,979
Give me my camera back.
336
00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:22,274
It's not your camera.
337
00:16:22,357 --> 00:16:24,187
It's my camera, you numbskulls.
338
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:26,948
Ouch. What's biting me?
339
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:29,777
[shrieking] There's a rat here!
340
00:16:29,864 --> 00:16:31,414
[screaming]
341
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,334
Crash, get the camera.
342
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:39,123
It's not my camera.
343
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,301
[Poulos] Help me out of here
so I can wring your necks.
344
00:16:44,337 --> 00:16:46,127
[Both] Uh...
345
00:16:47,882 --> 00:16:50,472
[Poulos] Whoa! Whoa-oh-oh!
346
00:16:51,177 --> 00:16:53,347
-[barrel crashes]
-[Crash] Go, go!
347
00:16:58,226 --> 00:17:00,646
Well... that wasn't so bad.
348
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:03,519
What are you talking about?
That was a disaster.
349
00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:06,226
This is why I didn't want
to show my comic to people.
350
00:17:06,317 --> 00:17:08,447
I knew we'd end up looking like fools.
351
00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,738
[scoffs]
I told you not to show anyone.
352
00:17:12,741 --> 00:17:14,911
The Shredder and Mr. Purple.
353
00:17:14,993 --> 00:17:16,703
You guys are brave.
354
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:18,826
Why? We haven't saved anyone.
355
00:17:18,913 --> 00:17:20,963
No, I mean to walk around
in those outfits.
356
00:17:23,918 --> 00:17:25,378
Come on, Jumper.
357
00:17:25,462 --> 00:17:27,712
[shrieks and whimpers]
Dog!
358
00:17:27,797 --> 00:17:30,087
Crash, there's nothing to be afraid of.
359
00:17:30,175 --> 00:17:32,005
Sic him, Jumper.
360
00:17:35,305 --> 00:17:37,675
Really? Don't do me like this.
361
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:44,725
It's kind of a shame
we had these outfits made
362
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:47,324
and no one will ever
see us be superheroes.
363
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,690
It would've been awesome.
364
00:17:48,777 --> 00:17:49,817
-Dodging bullets.
-Yeah.
365
00:17:49,903 --> 00:17:52,243
Running through burning buildings.
366
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,162
-Fighting criminals.
-[laughs]
367
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:57,544
Wait, what am i talking about?
That sounds awful.
368
00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,618
-Let's go play a video game.
-Great.
369
00:18:06,711 --> 00:18:09,091
[whispering]
Come on. Hurry.
370
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:15,010
[screams] He's taking Jumper!
371
00:18:15,095 --> 00:18:17,885
-[Roland] That's the dog thief!
-[Thief] Come on, hurry.
372
00:18:18,890 --> 00:18:22,020
Now's our chance, Shredder.
Launch me.
373
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,022
Ah!
374
00:18:27,691 --> 00:18:29,861
Prepare for a purple bruising.
375
00:18:30,402 --> 00:18:32,652
[slow motion moaning]
376
00:18:37,701 --> 00:18:38,831
-Crash.
-Huh?
377
00:18:39,911 --> 00:18:41,121
No time for slow-motion.
378
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:43,211
What?
379
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,959
[Female singers]
♪ It's The Possum ♪
380
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,336
Pesto, stop him!
381
00:18:49,421 --> 00:18:50,511
[high-pitched shriek]
382
00:18:54,259 --> 00:18:55,259
I got you.
383
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,098
Score one for The Possum.
384
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:01,428
Where's the dog?
385
00:19:01,516 --> 00:19:02,886
Crash, get the dog!
386
00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:04,186
[whimpers]
387
00:19:04,269 --> 00:19:05,309
How?
388
00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:08,609
You can do it.
You're Mr. Purple.
389
00:19:08,690 --> 00:19:11,320
Yeah, I am.
390
00:19:11,401 --> 00:19:12,651
I can do anything.
391
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:17,366
I am the baddest superhero
to ever walk this planet.
392
00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:18,869
[high-pitched] Here, puppy.
393
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,410
[squeaking]
394
00:19:20,493 --> 00:19:21,793
Here, jump-jump.
395
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:23,120
[squeaking continues]
396
00:19:23,204 --> 00:19:25,464
[heroic instrumental music]
397
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:30,668
Don't worry. We're friends now.
398
00:19:30,754 --> 00:19:32,674
We bonded over
how we clean our butts.
399
00:19:33,381 --> 00:19:35,131
Who are you guys?
400
00:19:35,216 --> 00:19:37,926
Some kind of avant-garde dance company?
401
00:19:38,011 --> 00:19:40,811
That's The Shredder and Mr. Purple.
402
00:19:40,889 --> 00:19:41,849
[clears throat]
403
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,521
And that's Rat Boy.
404
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,930
I'm The Possum.
405
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,938
Look, I financed the movie.
406
00:19:47,020 --> 00:19:48,400
You're Rat Boy.
407
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,397
[barks]
408
00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:55,614
♪ Crash! ♪
409
00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:59,365
Portland saw some real lifesuperheroes in action today.
410
00:19:59,991 --> 00:20:02,161
Hey, Bernstein, check this out!
411
00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:04,413
Security cameras on Oak Avenue
412
00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:08,666
caught some amazing footageof one Wyatt Bernstein and Crash
413
00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:11,710
calling themselvesThe Shredder and Mr. Purple
414
00:20:11,795 --> 00:20:14,545
apprehending a would-be dog thief.
415
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:15,971
You're missing it!
416
00:20:16,049 --> 00:20:18,389
It's better
than I could have written myself!
417
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:24,468
But, what makes this story special,is that Crash, the little purple fella
418
00:20:24,557 --> 00:20:27,937
He is actuallyWyatt's sidekick in real life.
419
00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:32,516
[groaning]
420
00:20:32,607 --> 00:20:34,027
I don't know about you
421
00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:37,109
But I know I will be sleeping
a little bit sounder tonight
422
00:20:37,195 --> 00:20:41,155
knowing that The Shredder
and Mr. Purple are on the job.
423
00:20:41,241 --> 00:20:43,411
In other news, we have...
What?
424
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:47,913
I am not a sidekick!
This is a sidekick!
425
00:20:47,997 --> 00:20:50,627
-[Reporter] You are adorab-- Oh!
-[grunts]
426
00:20:52,711 --> 00:20:54,591
And, now, here's Susie
with the weather.
427
00:20:55,213 --> 00:20:56,423
Hey, Bernstein!
428
00:20:58,425 --> 00:20:59,505
I'm on the radio.
429
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:06,265
♪ Crash and Bern, hard core ♪
430
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:08,731
♪ Bass, bass ♪
431
00:21:13,231 --> 00:21:14,521
♪ What? ♪
432
00:21:17,110 --> 00:21:18,650
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
433
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:20,027
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
434
00:21:20,113 --> 00:21:21,283
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
435
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:23,779
♪ Good call ♪
436
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:25,697
♪ Crash and BernCrash and Bern ♪
437
00:21:25,785 --> 00:21:28,615
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
33040
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