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1
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♪♪ [music]
2
00:00:03,503 --> 00:00:06,383
All right. Before we do this,
let's get our stories straight.
3
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:07,968
If anything breaks, it's Amanda's fault.
4
00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:09,838
-Got it.
-[audience laughs]
5
00:00:09,926 --> 00:00:11,006
Launch me, Bernstein.
6
00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,716
Whoo! [grunting]
7
00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:17,930
It's Amanda's fault.
8
00:00:18,727 --> 00:00:20,937
Whoa, Crash, how far did you go?
9
00:00:22,272 --> 00:00:23,522
Amanda!
10
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:26,686
That girl is out of control.
11
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Oh, by the way, we gotta get going.
12
00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,414
The new roller coaster opens today.
13
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Is that today?
14
00:00:33,992 --> 00:00:37,002
[grunts] Wyatt,
I need you to be careful, okay?
15
00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:38,078
School pictures are on Friday,
16
00:00:38,163 --> 00:00:40,673
and I don't want anything damaging
that face.
17
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,084
You have nothing to worry about, mom.
18
00:00:43,168 --> 00:00:45,668
-What's this ride called?
-The Decapitator.
19
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Wonderful.
20
00:00:48,423 --> 00:00:50,263
Wyatt,
every year you somehow manage
21
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:53,182
to disfigure yourself before picture day.
22
00:00:53,636 --> 00:00:55,966
Remember fourth grade, broken nose.
23
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,596
Fifth grade it was a chipped tooth.
24
00:00:57,974 --> 00:01:00,314
Sixth grade, eye patch.
25
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:01,560
[growls] Arrgh.
26
00:01:02,103 --> 00:01:04,153
Mrs. B., If I may...
27
00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:09,109
we are dudes, and as dudes,
28
00:01:09,235 --> 00:01:12,065
we are going
to get black eyes and stitches.
29
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:15,118
"If thou art dude,
thou mess thy face up."
30
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So it is written in the book...
31
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of Dude Eronomy.
32
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[audience laughs]
33
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I'm just begging you
for one good class picture
34
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that I can send to your sweet,
loving grandma Rose
35
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So that that woman
will get off my last nerve.
36
00:01:32,342 --> 00:01:33,342
[audience laughs]
37
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I'll do my best, but they take
the picture after shop class.
38
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They have power tools,
so the odds are kind of against me.
39
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Okay, I'm not begging you now,
I am threatening you...
40
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,609
If you mess up that picture,
41
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you know that $100 that grandma Rose
gives you every year for your birthday?
42
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-[moans] Uh.
-I'll make you give it to charity.
43
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You can't do that.
44
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Try me, picture boy.
45
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Ignore her, Bernstein.
46
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As it is written
in the Book of Dude Eronomy,
47
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"to thine own Mom,
a dude doth not listen-eth."
48
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[Crash groans]
49
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,048
Oh, I'm sorry.
Did that hurt-eth?
50
00:02:10,338 --> 00:02:11,378
No, it's fine.
51
00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:12,629
[Crash whimpers]
52
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,343
♪♪ [music]
53
00:02:14,926 --> 00:02:18,756
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
54
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♪ Yo! I'ma let you finish but ♪
55
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-♪ Ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
56
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:24,022
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
57
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:26,522
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
58
00:02:26,604 --> 00:02:28,984
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
59
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-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude
60
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,989
♪ No makeup or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
61
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♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
62
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-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
63
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-♪ Crash and Bern-- ♪-♪ Stein ♪
64
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,994
-♪ Crash and Bern-- ♪-♪ Stein ♪
65
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,695
♪ Crash and Bern ♪-♪ Stein! ♪
66
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:42,745
-♪ What he said, Crash and Bern ♪-♪ Stein ♪
67
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,249
-♪ Crash and Bern-- ♪♪ Stein! ♪
68
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,670
♪ Crash and Bern ♪♪ STEIN! ♪
69
00:02:45,749 --> 00:02:46,579
♪ What he said ♪
70
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♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
71
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-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
72
00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:52,713
-♪ Crash and Bern ♪-♪ Stein ♪
73
00:02:53,048 --> 00:02:54,048
-♪ Crash and Bern ♪-♪ Stein! ♪
74
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-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
75
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♪ What he said ♪
76
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[glass shatters]
77
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[chuckles]
78
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♪♪ [music]
79
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[Crash chuckles] Oh, yes!
80
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We're finally gonna ride the decapitator.
81
00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,491
Did you know it was voted
Portland's most dangerous attraction?
82
00:03:13,568 --> 00:03:15,898
It beat out the port-a-potties
at the county fair.
83
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[audience laughs]
84
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That sign at the start of this line
said it was a three hour wait.
85
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It's been three hours and four minutes!
86
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If you can't manage
expectations,
87
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you have no business
running an amusement park.
88
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Pesto, I get it.
89
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:32,047
For one day,
could you not be the angry consumer?
90
00:03:32,128 --> 00:03:33,338
[audience laughs]
91
00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:34,882
[groaning]
92
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:39,302
I'm starting to think that eating
that chili cheese dog was not a good idea.
93
00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,892
[groans] Or the tuna melt.
94
00:03:42,722 --> 00:03:43,892
Or the smoothie.
95
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,847
Ohh. Or the tuna melt smoothie.
96
00:03:47,352 --> 00:03:49,982
You ate all that so you could
deliberately puke on me.
97
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:53,153
Did you hear what I ate?
My puke will be delicious!
98
00:03:53,274 --> 00:03:54,154
[audience laughs]
99
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,944
-Oh, here we go.
-Yeah.
100
00:03:56,152 --> 00:03:59,242
Oh, this is the greatest
moment of my life.
101
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Hey, Bernstein?
102
00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,244
Thanks for bringing me along.
103
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,332
Are you kidding?
104
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-I'd never ride this without you.
-[chuckles]
105
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:08,116
-[Crash grunts]
-[audience laughs]
106
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You can't ride. You're too short.
107
00:04:11,835 --> 00:04:13,585
-Huh?
-[audience laughs]
108
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Hold on a second.
109
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Ah, it's a good day to be tall.
110
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See you on the other side.
111
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-No.
-[Crash grunts]
112
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-Huh? Huh?
-[Carol denies] Uh-uh.
113
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-Oh.
-Can't you make an exception?
114
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We've been waiting for over three hours
to go on this ride.
115
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You can expect a very angry e-mail...
116
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-Carol.
-[audience laughs]
117
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You're holding up the line.
118
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Try the teacups.
119
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Fine, but if I don't puke,
I want my money back.
120
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,197
Come on, Bernstein.
121
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I'm going on the roller coaster.
122
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What, but you said
you'd never go on it without me.
123
00:04:48,079 --> 00:04:49,749
Sorry, I can't hear you!
124
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Close the door, Carol.
125
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♪♪ [music]
126
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Okay, who put a face on my fruit?
127
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[audience laughs]
128
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I did. Isn't it great?
129
00:05:00,759 --> 00:05:02,509
I'm testing my new product line.
130
00:05:02,719 --> 00:05:04,179
Cosmetics by...
131
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-[breathy] Cleo.
-[audience laughs]
132
00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,098
Cleo, we don't waste food.
133
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This is valuable.
134
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Test it on Amanda.
135
00:05:12,354 --> 00:05:14,404
What? I'm not her guinea pig.
136
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:16,781
Plus,
that peach looks like a Vegas showgirl.
137
00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,107
Come on, Amanda.
138
00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,447
I want to sell this stuff
at school picture day.
139
00:05:21,613 --> 00:05:24,203
Most middle school girls
can't leave the house wearing makeup,
140
00:05:24,282 --> 00:05:26,032
so they have to buy it on the streets.
141
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,334
Ka-ching!
142
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[audience laughs]
143
00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,793
Cleo? This face doesn't need improving.
144
00:05:31,873 --> 00:05:33,673
-Test it on mom.
-Ouch.
145
00:05:33,792 --> 00:05:35,502
♪♪ [music]
146
00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,585
I'm sorry you couldn't
go on the Decapitator.
147
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,795
It wasn't that great...
148
00:05:40,215 --> 00:05:42,125
unless you like loops
and barrel rolls.
149
00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,967
-[Crash sighs]
-Oh, and here's the best part.
150
00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:45,425
Pesto threw up on himself.
151
00:05:45,512 --> 00:05:47,432
-[laughing]
-Ahh!
152
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:50,274
Yeah, well,
the teacup ride was pretty awesome too.
153
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,600
Would have bought a t-shirt like yours,
154
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:53,555
but... all they had were onesies.
155
00:05:54,437 --> 00:05:56,767
The sad part is...
it's a little big on me.
156
00:05:57,816 --> 00:05:58,776
[elevator dings]
157
00:05:58,858 --> 00:05:59,858
Could you do me a favor?
158
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,113
Don't wear that shirt
for our class picture.
159
00:06:02,195 --> 00:06:03,405
I'm gonna be standing right next to you,
160
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,698
and I don't want
to be reminded of my disappointment.
161
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:09,076
-Actually, we won't be next to each other.
-[Crash grunting]
162
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,370
They line us up by height.
163
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:12,163
You'll be in the short row
with the eight-year-old genius
164
00:06:12,247 --> 00:06:14,707
-and the class gerbil.
-[grunts] What?
165
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:16,671
Why does everyone keep saying I'm short?
166
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:19,421
Did they raise these buttons? [grunts]
167
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,674
-I'll get it.
-Stand aside, Bernstein.
168
00:06:22,173 --> 00:06:24,093
I don't need your pity.
I'll take the stairs.
169
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,262
[elevator dings]
170
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,760
I may be height-challenged,
but I have my dignity. [groans]
171
00:06:30,056 --> 00:06:31,096
[audience laughs]
172
00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:33,692
Oh well. At least you're the only one
who saw this.
173
00:06:33,935 --> 00:06:36,805
This is a great building.
You're gonna love renting here.
174
00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:38,864
Ah, nuts.
175
00:06:38,982 --> 00:06:40,822
[Crash grunting]
176
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♪♪ [music]
177
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:48,829
[audience laughs]
178
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,620
[groans] Morning.
179
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,294
It's the afternoon.
180
00:06:54,122 --> 00:06:55,502
Time is meaningless to me.
181
00:06:57,208 --> 00:06:59,748
Word of warning, so is underwear.
182
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:02,549
[audience laughs]
183
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:04,470
-[Crash grunts]
-I didn't know you could grow stubble.
184
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:07,394
I can't.
These are chocolate sprinkles.
185
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:09,546
I glued them on because
I want people to know
186
00:07:09,637 --> 00:07:12,597
how depressed I am
way down here in short city.
187
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:14,982
I'm sorry you're bummed.
188
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:16,895
Is there anything I can do
to cheer you up?
189
00:07:17,437 --> 00:07:21,937
Well, since you're offering,
there is one tiny thing.
190
00:07:22,734 --> 00:07:25,864
I need a passport, a first class ticket
to Bolivia and $50,000.
191
00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,405
-[audience laughs]
-I was thinking pancakes.
192
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,372
Nah, I don't want to put you out.
193
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:34,328
I found a doctor online
who can make me taller
194
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:37,002
with experimental shin
augmentation surgery.
195
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:38,917
Reviews only give him one star,
196
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,842
But the word "quack" kept coming up,
197
00:07:41,044 --> 00:07:44,674
which leads me to believe
that they were written by ducks.
198
00:07:44,756 --> 00:07:45,916
[audience laughs]
199
00:07:46,007 --> 00:07:48,637
Well, crash, if you want
to be taller so badly, I can help.
200
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:50,298
No need to do anything crazy.
201
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,643
[music]
202
00:07:52,013 --> 00:07:54,643
It's not working.
Come on, stretch me, Bernstein!
203
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:55,684
-I'm trying!
-[audience laughs]
204
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,102
-[both straining]
-[cloth tearing]
205
00:07:58,561 --> 00:08:00,021
[both grunting]
206
00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:02,820
-Oh, wow. That was a close one.
-Oh.
207
00:08:02,982 --> 00:08:04,692
-I almost messed up my face.
-Yeah.
208
00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,573
We better be careful
someone could have got hurt.
209
00:08:09,030 --> 00:08:10,410
♪♪ [music]
210
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,027
I'm a terrible sewer, but I'm all fixed.
211
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,197
Are you sure this is a good idea?
212
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,794
Good? This is the best plan ever.
213
00:08:17,872 --> 00:08:20,752
I am 100% sure
this is going to work.
214
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:24,047
There is absolutely no chance
of anything going wrong.
215
00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:26,046
-[Crash grunts]
-[audience laughs]
216
00:08:26,131 --> 00:08:28,881
-Okay, let's see.
-[Wyatt sighs]
217
00:08:29,718 --> 00:08:32,348
All right, your feet are glued down,
we're ready for lift off.
218
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,274
-Blast me, bro.
-[remote control beeps]
219
00:08:39,060 --> 00:08:41,060
Whoo! Yes, yes!
220
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,357
No, no! [grunts and sighs]
221
00:08:44,232 --> 00:08:46,692
Oh, we failed, Bernstein.
222
00:08:47,068 --> 00:08:48,318
I'm still the same size.
223
00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,947
And that rocket fuel seared
my undercarriage. Whoo.
224
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,284
[audience laughs]
225
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:54,905
Crash, you're making too big of a deal
about being short.
226
00:08:54,993 --> 00:08:59,163
No. I'm making a small deal
about it because I'm short!
227
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,747
And I'll always be short.
228
00:09:01,207 --> 00:09:02,497
Now if you'll excuse me,
229
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:05,997
I'll be in my room being significantly
below average in height!
230
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:08,344
[grunting] Um...
231
00:09:10,008 --> 00:09:13,218
Can you please unglue my feet
so I can make a dramatic exit?
232
00:09:13,803 --> 00:09:16,063
-[audience laughs]
-Oh. Oh, no.
233
00:09:16,306 --> 00:09:18,136
[metal thud]
234
00:09:18,808 --> 00:09:19,928
♪♪ [music]
235
00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,311
Cleo, I am loving this lip gloss you made.
236
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:26,265
Thanks. Try my lavender facial cream.
237
00:09:26,441 --> 00:09:27,981
[sighs] Okay.
238
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,783
-Oh, I feel it working. [chuckles]
-[Cleo giggles]
239
00:09:33,114 --> 00:09:35,624
-It's tingly.
-I told you, mom.
240
00:09:35,867 --> 00:09:39,117
This cosmetic line is gonna have
all of Portland talking about.
241
00:09:39,913 --> 00:09:40,963
-[breathy] Cleo.
-[loud thud]
242
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,205
-[audience laughs]
-Whoa.
243
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:44,958
What, what is it?
244
00:09:45,669 --> 00:09:47,919
[chuckles nervously] Nothing.
245
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,804
I'm just amazed at...
246
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,928
-how good you look. [giggles]
-Oh.
247
00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,142
[clears throat]
248
00:09:56,554 --> 00:09:58,434
Did you see those guys checking me out?
249
00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:00,978
-[Cleo chuckles]
-Hot mama, aisle nine.
250
00:10:01,059 --> 00:10:02,559
[audience laughs]
251
00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,189
Yeah.
252
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:05,480
You're a hottie.
253
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:07,896
Hi.
254
00:10:11,194 --> 00:10:12,614
[mouths words]
255
00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:15,071
♪♪ [music]
256
00:10:16,491 --> 00:10:18,371
Epic dirt clod fight!
257
00:10:18,493 --> 00:10:21,083
Man, those Flannery twins
are like professional dirt snipers.
258
00:10:21,538 --> 00:10:22,788
I hate those girls.
259
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:25,212
-[audience laughs]
-♪♪ [dramatic music]
260
00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:32,721
-Whoa.
-What's up, shorties?
261
00:10:33,091 --> 00:10:34,471
[audience laughs]
262
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:37,971
That's right.
I'm a ceiling scraper now.
263
00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:41,564
Being tall has given me
a whole new perspective on life.
264
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:43,391
-And the top of your head.
-Whoa, Bernstein,
265
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:44,806
what's that in your hair?
266
00:10:47,439 --> 00:10:50,979
It's gum. The Flannery girls must
have put it in their dirt clods.
267
00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,899
They've developed gum clods?
268
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:55,412
Oh, this is bad.
269
00:10:55,697 --> 00:10:57,447
All right, your fridge is working again.
270
00:10:58,742 --> 00:11:00,202
You might be missing some salami.
271
00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,413
How's the air down there?
272
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,083
Come on down and find out.
273
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,044
[stammering] Whoa!
274
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:11,169
[grunts and blubbers]
275
00:11:11,254 --> 00:11:14,264
Oh, man. I'm short again.
276
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,844
I'll never know the joy of blocking
someone's view in a movie theater.
277
00:11:17,969 --> 00:11:19,969
I'll never be a runway model!
278
00:11:20,263 --> 00:11:22,683
Nobody feels my pain.
279
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:25,982
This may surprise you, but I'm short.
280
00:11:26,644 --> 00:11:28,194
Really? I hadn't noticed.
281
00:11:28,855 --> 00:11:30,515
[whispers] I totally noticed.
282
00:11:31,983 --> 00:11:34,153
Being short is the least of your troubles.
283
00:11:34,235 --> 00:11:36,485
You're purple,
you have a terrible personality,
284
00:11:36,571 --> 00:11:37,571
and you smell like a goat.
285
00:11:37,989 --> 00:11:39,739
Oh, I love this game.
286
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,294
My turn.
Your face looks like a butt.
287
00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:43,199
Okay, you go again.
288
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,536
[audience laughs]
289
00:11:45,622 --> 00:11:47,042
I'm not gonna lie to you.
290
00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:49,463
Being short is no picnic,
but it's not the end of the world.
291
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:52,916
You are looking at the holder
of seven--
292
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:56,416
Count 'em,
seven world records. Huh?
293
00:11:57,884 --> 00:11:59,764
That's me with the world's longest beard.
294
00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,761
[audience laughs]
295
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,348
Yeah, that's how mine gets
after a couple of days. [chuckles]
296
00:12:05,517 --> 00:12:07,187
No, it doesn't.
297
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,482
I also hold the record
for most poodles groomed in a day,
298
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,653
and eating the most live worms.
299
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:14,482
You are awesome.
300
00:12:14,567 --> 00:12:16,697
I had worms once,
but they weren't in my mouth.
301
00:12:16,778 --> 00:12:18,488
[audience laughs]
302
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,911
So you're saying I can shave dogs,
303
00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,030
eat worms,
304
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:24,492
and grow freaky beards
just like tall people?
305
00:12:24,619 --> 00:12:26,869
You can do anything a beanpole can do.
306
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:28,495
Stick with me and I'll show you how.
307
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:29,665
Poulos-style.
308
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,665
You know I also hold the record
for running in a sewer pipe?
309
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:33,592
Really?
310
00:12:33,670 --> 00:12:35,510
♪♪ [music]
311
00:12:35,964 --> 00:12:37,674
Darn.
312
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:40,587
-[grunts]
-That better not be my gum.
313
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:41,927
[audience laughs]
314
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:42,972
Relax, Amanda.
315
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:45,224
No one knows the combination
to your gum safe.
316
00:12:46,683 --> 00:12:48,693
I have to get this out
before the school picture.
317
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,228
Here, I can help you.
318
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:54,153
I've always wanted a shot at that melon.
319
00:12:54,232 --> 00:12:56,232
Hey, no. No way!
Get that away from me.
320
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,357
Do you even know what you're doing?
321
00:12:57,444 --> 00:12:59,494
Wyatt, I'm not stupid.
322
00:12:59,571 --> 00:13:01,491
I get gum caught in my hair all the time.
323
00:13:01,573 --> 00:13:04,033
-[audience laughs]
-[razor buzzing]
324
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:09,578
Oh, now it kind of looks uneven.
325
00:13:10,248 --> 00:13:11,618
[razor buzzes]
326
00:13:11,708 --> 00:13:13,208
[Wyatt] How do I look?
327
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,503
[audience laughs]
328
00:13:15,337 --> 00:13:17,337
Your friends don't care about looks.
329
00:13:18,923 --> 00:13:20,723
You butchered my hair!
330
00:13:20,967 --> 00:13:22,927
I look like a toilet brush.
331
00:13:23,678 --> 00:13:26,218
Wow, you're being really shallow.
332
00:13:27,390 --> 00:13:30,520
Just put this ski cap on,
and don't take it off for three weeks.
333
00:13:32,062 --> 00:13:34,522
But the school picture.
Mom's gonna kill me.
334
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:36,781
-[Mel] Hello?!
-Oh, great.
335
00:13:37,192 --> 00:13:38,282
[audience laughs]
336
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:39,740
Just calm down.
337
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:43,107
-Hey, kiddos.
-Mom?
338
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:44,778
You look--
339
00:13:46,368 --> 00:13:47,238
Wow.
340
00:13:47,911 --> 00:13:49,701
-[audience laughs]
-Thanks.
341
00:13:49,788 --> 00:13:52,248
That cute cashier
couldn't stop looking at me.
342
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,002
Mom's still got it.
343
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,207
-[audience laughs]
-Is it contagious?
344
00:13:58,088 --> 00:14:00,378
Wyatt, why are you wearing
that ratty old hat?
345
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:02,375
Oh, well... [stammering]
346
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:05,887
uh, it's the style right now, yeah.
347
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:07,264
Rats are in.
348
00:14:07,722 --> 00:14:09,272
Oh, uh-huh. Well, come here. Take it off.
349
00:14:09,683 --> 00:14:11,183
-Off--
-Mom, you're purple!
350
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:13,437
[gasps] Cleo,
what did you do to my face?
351
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,310
Wyatt,
what did you do to your hair?
352
00:14:15,397 --> 00:14:17,067
Amanda did it!
353
00:14:17,148 --> 00:14:18,818
[audience laughs]
354
00:14:18,900 --> 00:14:21,320
Girls, let me give you a piece of advice.
355
00:14:21,403 --> 00:14:22,703
Don't open a salon.
356
00:14:23,029 --> 00:14:24,319
[audience laughs]
357
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:27,372
♪♪ [music]
358
00:14:27,992 --> 00:14:30,252
Listen up, Crash.
Being short has its advantages.
359
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:31,618
Oh!
360
00:14:33,331 --> 00:14:35,671
[laughs] Ha ha! That's right.
361
00:14:37,293 --> 00:14:39,093
I'm gonna put this quarter
in my jet ski fund.
362
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:40,342
-[audience laughs]
-Yeah.
363
00:14:40,463 --> 00:14:42,473
Mr. Poulos, until this moment
364
00:14:42,757 --> 00:14:45,217
you were just an angry man
with a million dollar smile.
365
00:14:45,552 --> 00:14:47,642
But you have earned my respect.
366
00:14:48,304 --> 00:14:50,104
There's other advantages
to being short.
367
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:53,273
Short people make better pilots
and race car drivers.
368
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,153
We're also some of the world's
most ruthless dictators.
369
00:14:56,354 --> 00:14:59,444
Oh, I always wanted
to be a ruthless dictator.
370
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:02,494
They always get the best seat
on the balcony when the parade goes by.
371
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,109
You're missing the point.
372
00:15:04,195 --> 00:15:06,485
-You see this honey?
-Yes, dear.
373
00:15:08,366 --> 00:15:11,946
This wouldn't be here if a tiny
little bee didn't pollinate a flower.
374
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:15,785
In fact, bees are responsible
for most of our food supply.
375
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,922
Just because something is small
doesn't mean it can't do something big.
376
00:15:19,294 --> 00:15:22,594
Yeah, but what about our nemesis,
the top shelf?
377
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,007
Stupid top shelf!
378
00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,010
Who do you think you are?!
379
00:15:27,385 --> 00:15:28,505
Easy, crazy.
380
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:32,061
Look, if a bee can
feed a whole country,
381
00:15:32,140 --> 00:15:34,680
you and I can get a can off the top shelf.
382
00:15:35,018 --> 00:15:36,558
Observe.
383
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,192
Ha! Lima beans...
384
00:15:42,359 --> 00:15:43,609
Is not what I wanted.
385
00:15:45,528 --> 00:15:47,028
But the surprise is part of the fun.
386
00:15:47,572 --> 00:15:48,412
Give it a try.
387
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,871
You honor me with your wonder stick.
388
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,616
I feel its power.
389
00:15:54,996 --> 00:15:56,246
I will make you proud,
390
00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,793
so that one day the pupil
will become the master,
391
00:15:58,875 --> 00:16:00,285
and the master who was the pupil
392
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:02,627
convinces the master
who was the original master--
393
00:16:02,712 --> 00:16:04,302
Shut your yap and start shopping!
394
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:05,841
[audience laughs]
395
00:16:05,924 --> 00:16:08,054
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Whoa.
396
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,474
Whoo-hoo. Yeah.
397
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:11,222
♪♪ [music]
398
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,354
[grunting] What's going on?
399
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,853
-I can't see Anything.
-Oh, no no.
400
00:16:14,933 --> 00:16:16,603
You're trying to go high.
You gotta go low.
401
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,225
Don't fight the height.
402
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:20,944
[audience laughs]
403
00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:26,823
Sample lady's giving out sausage. Come on!
404
00:16:27,237 --> 00:16:28,357
[audience laughs]
405
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:30,200
Whoo-hoo!
406
00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:35,326
Yeah! [whooping continues]
407
00:16:35,453 --> 00:16:36,503
Are you done yet?
408
00:16:36,621 --> 00:16:37,961
You look ridiculous.
409
00:16:38,248 --> 00:16:40,038
-Oh.
-[audience laughs]
410
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,923
Look, Crash,
how tall you are means nothing.
411
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:44,553
We're all born the way we are,
412
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:46,969
and we live life the best we can,
you know?
413
00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,005
You just try to be nice to people.
414
00:16:49,092 --> 00:16:51,472
Back off, beanpole!
415
00:16:51,553 --> 00:16:52,643
We don't need your help.
416
00:16:53,221 --> 00:16:54,721
Hello, doll.
417
00:16:54,806 --> 00:16:56,516
Could you help us with our bags?
418
00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:57,889
[audience laughs]
419
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,903
Five bucks says I get her
to buy us some fro-yo.
420
00:17:01,980 --> 00:17:04,110
-Come on.
-All right. [laughs]
421
00:17:04,315 --> 00:17:05,645
♪♪ [music]
422
00:17:05,734 --> 00:17:08,654
You know,
from a certain angle it looks okay.
423
00:17:09,154 --> 00:17:11,074
You just have to be
in a different room.
424
00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:14,991
Hey, mom. What'd the doctor say?
425
00:17:15,076 --> 00:17:18,576
It's just an allergic reaction.
It'll be gone in a couple of days.
426
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,876
[sighs] A little boy called me
a blueberry.
427
00:17:22,125 --> 00:17:23,625
[laughing]
428
00:17:24,753 --> 00:17:26,673
Children can be so cruel.
429
00:17:26,755 --> 00:17:28,335
[audience laughs]
430
00:17:29,007 --> 00:17:31,717
Oh, so what. I'm purple. Deal with it.
431
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,298
You know,
it's what's on the inside that counts.
432
00:17:34,846 --> 00:17:36,806
Don't underestimate the outside.
433
00:17:36,931 --> 00:17:39,141
Works for me.
434
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:42,225
Wyatt,
I got you a better hat for picture day.
435
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:43,687
Here you go.
436
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:45,476
You know, grandma's pretty old.
437
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:47,065
Maybe she'll just think
you're Frank Sinatra.
438
00:17:47,150 --> 00:17:48,400
[audience laughs]
439
00:17:48,735 --> 00:17:50,815
Hey, Bernstein,
I was thinking about wearing this
440
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:51,994
for the class picture,
what do you think?
441
00:17:52,155 --> 00:17:54,905
-That's all you ever wear.
-Yeah, that's what I was thinking.
442
00:17:54,991 --> 00:17:56,741
[audience laughs]
443
00:17:56,826 --> 00:18:00,996
Mrs. B.
...there is something different about you.
444
00:18:02,207 --> 00:18:05,627
Shh. Don't tell me. I want to guess.
445
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,085
Did you get invisible braces?
446
00:18:07,504 --> 00:18:08,884
Did you always have a nose?
447
00:18:09,005 --> 00:18:10,045
Color contacts?
448
00:18:10,924 --> 00:18:12,804
Crash, I'm purple.
449
00:18:12,884 --> 00:18:14,684
[audience laughs]
450
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,761
No, that's not it.
451
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:16,929
[audience laughs]
452
00:18:17,013 --> 00:18:18,183
♪♪ [music]
453
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:19,926
Yes.
454
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:22,938
What's up?
455
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,269
The photographer said I can't wear
the hat in the picture.
456
00:18:25,939 --> 00:18:26,859
How do I look?
457
00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:29,690
-Mmm.
-[kids laughing]
458
00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:33,489
Like my grandma's cockapoo from behind.
459
00:18:33,822 --> 00:18:35,072
[laughing]
460
00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:37,906
Hey hey, stop laughing
at my boy Bernstein.
461
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:39,664
-Thanks, Crash.
-Yeah, he can't help it
462
00:18:39,744 --> 00:18:41,544
if his head looks like a puppy's booty.
463
00:18:41,746 --> 00:18:43,536
[kids laughing]
464
00:18:43,998 --> 00:18:46,168
-Seriously?
-Hey, stick with me.
465
00:18:46,251 --> 00:18:48,881
I'm getting to the inspiring part.
466
00:18:48,962 --> 00:18:52,802
We've all got something about us
that makes us feel small or insignificant.
467
00:18:53,049 --> 00:18:55,299
I am short.
468
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,762
That kid has lopsided ears.
469
00:18:58,346 --> 00:19:00,766
This guy's forehead
should be called a five-head.
470
00:19:01,016 --> 00:19:03,306
And I'm not even sure
if that's a boy or a girl.
471
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,483
Who cares?
472
00:19:04,811 --> 00:19:08,401
You go, girl... or dude.
473
00:19:09,274 --> 00:19:12,324
The point is:
We can all do great things.
474
00:19:12,402 --> 00:19:16,572
Take the bees.
Sure they're tiny, but they're awesome.
475
00:19:16,906 --> 00:19:18,736
They build grocery stores.
476
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:20,080
[audience laughs]
477
00:19:20,368 --> 00:19:21,698
That might not be exactly right.
478
00:19:21,870 --> 00:19:24,160
But they have something to do with food.
479
00:19:24,247 --> 00:19:25,327
Here, see for yourself.
480
00:19:26,416 --> 00:19:27,916
-[grunts] Ha-ha.
-[bees buzzing]
481
00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:29,922
Huh?
482
00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:32,761
[audience laughs]
483
00:19:34,549 --> 00:19:36,429
Everybody remain calm.
484
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:39,103
[screaming]
485
00:19:41,139 --> 00:19:43,309
They're just trying to pollinate you.
486
00:19:44,142 --> 00:19:45,192
♪♪ [music]
487
00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,022
[screaming] Aah!
488
00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,820
I can't believe we didn't get
our picture taken.
489
00:19:53,151 --> 00:19:56,111
My aunt Betty got up early
to come over and do my hair.
490
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:58,106
What are you complaining about?
491
00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,866
Crash's bee attack
made them evacuate the school.
492
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:03,373
No need to thank me.
493
00:20:03,578 --> 00:20:07,288
The look of terror on all those adorable
faces was thanks enough.
494
00:20:07,832 --> 00:20:09,042
-[panting]
-[audience laughs]
495
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,165
Are we there yet?
496
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:13,916
The Dutch Oven
was only funny the first time.
497
00:20:14,172 --> 00:20:15,382
-Shh.
-[audience laughs]
498
00:20:17,008 --> 00:20:18,048
Oh.
499
00:20:18,301 --> 00:20:20,601
[humming]
500
00:20:21,805 --> 00:20:23,005
Good day, young lady.
501
00:20:23,306 --> 00:20:25,516
A fine day for roller coastering.
502
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,441
-Do I know you?
-That depends,
503
00:20:28,645 --> 00:20:30,555
do you know a young Matthew McConaughey?
504
00:20:30,980 --> 00:20:33,440
People say I look like him
because of my rock hard abs.
505
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:34,983
Go ahead. Punch me in the stomach.
506
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:36,903
[Mr. Poulos] No! [groans]
507
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:41,121
-Wow. Your abs are as hard as a face.
-Thank you.
508
00:20:43,493 --> 00:20:46,003
-Hey, Bernstein, we're doing it!
-Yeah.
509
00:20:46,079 --> 00:20:47,789
-High-five.
-Yeah. Whoa!
510
00:20:48,039 --> 00:20:49,579
-[Crash grunts]
-[audience laughs]
511
00:20:50,542 --> 00:20:51,962
[moaning]
512
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:54,592
-Run!
-[all yelling]
513
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,510
[laughing] Oh.
514
00:20:59,467 --> 00:21:02,047
This ride is awesome!
515
00:21:02,887 --> 00:21:04,057
♪♪ [music]
516
00:21:04,723 --> 00:21:05,973
Wasn't I right, guys?
517
00:21:06,057 --> 00:21:08,017
Isn't that the best roller coaster
you've ever been on?
518
00:21:08,476 --> 00:21:10,976
That's actually the first roller coaster
I've ever been on.
519
00:21:12,105 --> 00:21:13,815
I guess they have a height requirement
for a reason.
520
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:18,070
The Decapitator is awesome!
521
00:21:18,737 --> 00:21:20,197
Totally lived up to its name.
522
00:21:20,572 --> 00:21:22,072
Too bad they had to shut it down though.
523
00:21:22,824 --> 00:21:25,454
At least we can say we were
the last people to ride the Decapitator.
524
00:21:25,535 --> 00:21:26,405
-[scoffs]
-High-five.
525
00:21:26,953 --> 00:21:28,373
-Huh-oh!
-[audience laughs]
526
00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:30,615
Oh, quick. Three-second rule.
Someone pick me up!
527
00:21:30,790 --> 00:21:32,540
-[audience laughs]
-♪♪ [music]
528
00:21:34,169 --> 00:21:37,339
♪ Crash and Bern, hard core ♪
529
00:21:37,464 --> 00:21:38,804
♪ Bass, bass ♪
530
00:21:43,345 --> 00:21:44,755
♪ What? ♪
531
00:21:47,724 --> 00:21:48,814
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
532
00:21:48,892 --> 00:21:51,392
♪ Crash and BernTear it up, dude ♪
533
00:21:52,979 --> 00:21:54,149
♪ Good call ♪
534
00:21:54,230 --> 00:21:56,230
♪ Crash and Bern,Crash and Bern ♪
535
00:21:56,316 --> 00:21:57,316
♪ I said Stein ♪
536
00:21:57,442 --> 00:21:58,692
♪ What he said ♪
39121
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