Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,669 --> 00:00:06,621
Oh...
2
00:00:06,646 --> 00:00:09,859
Okay, if you think you've
lived through a bad day,
3
00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,973
try being our next guest.
4
00:00:11,998 --> 00:00:14,522
When she showed up to a
screening of her new film,
5
00:00:14,547 --> 00:00:16,636
"The Crows Have Eyes:
The Crowening..."
6
00:00:16,661 --> 00:00:18,964
- Fun name!
- It is!
7
00:00:19,123 --> 00:00:23,736
The last thing she expected
was an actual crow attack!
8
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:27,070
Oh...
9
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,507
Well, now we're being told
that the whole thing
10
00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:32,423
was a PR stunt
put out by the movie.
11
00:00:32,467 --> 00:00:34,425
Now, is that clever or what?
12
00:00:34,469 --> 00:00:36,993
- It sure is!
We are so very lucky
13
00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:40,083
to be joined this morning
by Moira Rose.
14
00:00:40,127 --> 00:00:41,563
Well, ach!
- Ach!
15
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,106
- What a ride this has been!
- Yes.
16
00:00:44,131 --> 00:00:46,220
What a ride indeed, Barb!
17
00:00:46,263 --> 00:00:48,265
Oh, let me first assure
your viewers
18
00:00:48,309 --> 00:00:51,007
that not a single crow
was harmed,
19
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,530
and as for the humans,
20
00:00:52,574 --> 00:00:54,576
oh, nothing but a little
wounded pride...
21
00:00:54,619 --> 00:00:56,795
and one severed earlobe.
22
00:00:56,839 --> 00:00:58,754
- Oh!
- Ouch! Yeah!
23
00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,843
Yes, everything you saw
24
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,627
was part of a carefully
orchestrated,
25
00:01:02,671 --> 00:01:04,847
entirely deliberate stunt.
26
00:01:04,890 --> 00:01:07,328
Oh, well, it seems
to have worked, Moira.
27
00:01:07,371 --> 00:01:10,113
With over more than
2 million views
28
00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,159
in less than 24 hours,
29
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:15,510
this video has created an
incredible buzz for the movie,
30
00:01:15,572 --> 00:01:18,009
which, as of right now,
31
00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:21,429
is officially trending
on Interflix.
32
00:01:21,472 --> 00:01:23,431
It is?!
33
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:25,520
Well, if you're saying
it's a smash hit,
34
00:01:25,563 --> 00:01:28,044
then I'm just going to have
to take your word for it.
35
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:30,177
As well as the word
of millions of streamers
36
00:01:30,220 --> 00:01:32,266
across the internet, I suppose.
37
00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:35,007
You know, the brilliant thing
about being on streaming
38
00:01:35,051 --> 00:01:38,010
is that one can start
the movie at any point,
39
00:01:38,054 --> 00:01:39,795
any time they like.
40
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:42,319
You know, Moira,
I think it's safe to say
41
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:44,365
you are officially back
in the game!
42
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,670
Yes!
43
00:01:45,714 --> 00:01:47,498
Well, you heard it here first!
44
00:01:47,542 --> 00:01:50,153
Do not adjust your sets!
45
00:01:50,197 --> 00:01:51,894
Excuse me, but I'd be remiss
46
00:01:51,937 --> 00:01:54,810
if I didn't acknowledge
my daughter, Alexis Rose.
47
00:01:56,682 --> 00:02:00,120
This whole PR coup d'état never
would've happened without her.
48
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,513
Honestly, we just had fun
with it.
49
00:02:02,557 --> 00:02:04,211
Can't hear you.
50
00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,603
Poor dear's not mic'd.
51
00:02:05,647 --> 00:02:07,170
Well, looks like there's
no stopping you two now!
52
00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:08,911
Congratulations!
- Hm-hm.
53
00:02:09,422 --> 00:02:11,337
- Thank you!
- Alexis:
54
00:02:18,790 --> 00:02:21,053
Gentlemen. Morning.
55
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:24,231
I believe you've met
my roommate, Bob.
56
00:02:24,274 --> 00:02:26,189
- Roommate?
- Mm-hmm.
57
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:28,409
- Yeah.
Uh, Ronnie's been nice enough
58
00:02:28,452 --> 00:02:29,975
to let me stay in her
guest room,
59
00:02:30,019 --> 00:02:31,151
ever since Gwen...
60
00:02:32,953 --> 00:02:34,041
took the house.
61
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:37,958
Yeah. And as much as I'm
enjoying the slumber party,
62
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:40,769
I really think that Bob could
use a change of scenery.
63
00:02:40,812 --> 00:02:43,337
Maybe he could crash here
for a night...
64
00:02:43,380 --> 00:02:44,947
or six?
65
00:02:44,990 --> 00:02:47,602
- Uh, yeah...
- I don't think we, uh,
66
00:02:47,645 --> 00:02:50,082
we have any clean rooms
available.
67
00:02:50,126 --> 00:02:52,433
Oh, I... I don't mind
a dirty room.
68
00:02:52,476 --> 00:02:55,610
I hope that doesn't sound
as sad as...
69
00:02:55,653 --> 00:02:57,742
as it feels.
70
00:02:57,786 --> 00:03:00,441
Bob, why,
why don't you take a seat?
71
00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:02,747
And grab some water
while you're at it,
72
00:03:02,791 --> 00:03:06,229
'cause you should really
hydrate after all that crying.
73
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,579
Gwen used to love water.
74
00:03:15,978 --> 00:03:18,110
Okay, I feel badly for Bob,
75
00:03:18,154 --> 00:03:19,721
but it's not a good look
76
00:03:19,764 --> 00:03:21,940
to have him wallowing
around here.
77
00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:23,638
Well, where do you
want the guy to wallow?
78
00:03:23,681 --> 00:03:26,249
I mean, Johnny,
there's plenty of sad people
79
00:03:26,293 --> 00:03:27,990
staying at this motel.
80
00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:30,949
That's not exactly how I'd
describe our guests, Roland.
81
00:03:30,993 --> 00:03:32,777
Well, I'm just saying,
maybe he could meet
82
00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,953
a fellow wallower here?
83
00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:37,129
Oh, it'd be really nice
if Bob could meet somebody
84
00:03:37,173 --> 00:03:38,566
'cause from what I hear,
85
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,611
Gwen isn't exactly sitting
at home.
86
00:03:40,655 --> 00:03:42,439
Or, what if...
87
00:03:42,483 --> 00:03:45,181
we take Bob out for the evening
88
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,306
and kind of act as his wingmen
89
00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:50,292
Johnny, you know,
the whole dating scene
90
00:03:50,317 --> 00:03:52,971
has kind of changed a little
since you were single.
91
00:03:53,405 --> 00:03:55,799
First off,
we now have electricity.
92
00:03:57,672 --> 00:04:00,240
Okay, all right,
are you in or not?
93
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,285
Ooh, I'm in. 'Cause I don't
wanna miss a chance
94
00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,244
to see how this plays out.
95
00:04:05,021 --> 00:04:07,943
- Bob?
- Well, it... it would be so nice
96
00:04:07,986 --> 00:04:12,252
to not be completely alone
for a night.
97
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,079
Uh, lucky Gwen,
98
00:04:14,123 --> 00:04:16,647
she has another one of her
male cousins visiting.
99
00:04:21,639 --> 00:04:23,554
- This coffee's delicious.
- Thank you.
100
00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,830
Yeah, it's... it's sort of
burning my hand a bit
101
00:04:25,874 --> 00:04:28,137
because I can't put it down
on anything.
102
00:04:28,180 --> 00:04:30,835
David, you know that the new
coffee table is coming today,
103
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:33,360
and that it takes a little bit
longer when it's handmade.
104
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:34,883
Handmade, yeah.
105
00:04:34,926 --> 00:04:36,188
You know what I think
you should do?
106
00:04:36,232 --> 00:04:38,016
Just come over here
and relax for a bit.
107
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,192
Sit down, we could put our...
108
00:04:40,236 --> 00:04:41,716
our feet up on the...
109
00:04:42,154 --> 00:04:43,805
You happy now?
110
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,676
Just do me a favour
and watch these,
111
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,374
and don't eat them.
- Mm. No guarantees.
112
00:04:49,576 --> 00:04:50,855
- Hey.
- Hey.
113
00:04:50,899 --> 00:04:52,596
Coffee table for Patrick?
- That's me, yeah.
114
00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,076
You look super familiar.
115
00:04:54,119 --> 00:04:56,078
Have we ordered from you before?
116
00:04:56,121 --> 00:04:57,993
- Uh, I don't know.
I... I get a lot of orders.
117
00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:00,169
Do you mind if I uh...?
- Yeah, come on in.
118
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:03,303
Uh, it's just right there.
- Yeah.
119
00:05:03,346 --> 00:05:05,392
'Kay.
120
00:05:09,405 --> 00:05:12,311
I'm sorry, this is who made
your table?
121
00:05:12,467 --> 00:05:14,009
- David!
- Hi.
122
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:16,011
- What're you doing here?
- Okay. Muah.
123
00:05:16,054 --> 00:05:17,491
Wow. We're still doing that.
124
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:20,363
Uh, this is my boyfriend's
place.
125
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,799
- Fiancé.
- Fiancé.
126
00:05:21,843 --> 00:05:24,106
Yeah. Now I remember where
we met before.
127
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:26,061
Stevie's apartment.
- At Stevie's.
128
00:05:26,529 --> 00:05:28,023
Bingo. I'm sorry
for not remembering.
129
00:05:28,066 --> 00:05:30,155
I meet a lot of people.
- Mm.
130
00:05:30,199 --> 00:05:32,288
That is a great sweater,
by the way.
131
00:05:32,332 --> 00:05:34,508
It really brings out your lips.
- Okay.
132
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:37,249
Well, thank you
for the coffee table.
133
00:05:37,293 --> 00:05:38,990
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
134
00:05:39,034 --> 00:05:41,123
I am also wearing a sweater.
135
00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:44,234
A lot of sweat
went into this one.
136
00:05:46,694 --> 00:05:47,869
This is one of my best
pieces. You got great taste.
137
00:05:47,912 --> 00:05:49,784
And from the looks of it,
so does David.
138
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,960
- Okay.
I'm gonna go uh...
139
00:05:52,003 --> 00:05:53,396
you know,
I'm gonna check on the...
140
00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:54,876
- Perfect! Yeah.
- Pancakes.
141
00:05:54,919 --> 00:05:56,878
- Say, you know what?
I was just planning on having
142
00:05:56,921 --> 00:05:58,967
a chill night in,
but if you guys are free,
143
00:05:59,010 --> 00:06:00,751
I'd love for you to come by
for a whiskey or...
144
00:06:00,795 --> 00:06:02,318
whatever.
- O-kay.
145
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:05,147
You know...
146
00:06:05,190 --> 00:06:06,975
You know what? We'll, we'll
think about that for a sec
147
00:06:07,018 --> 00:06:08,977
and see, and see.
- Great!
148
00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,892
Hope to see you tonight.
- Okay.
149
00:06:10,935 --> 00:06:12,937
And for what it's worth,
150
00:06:12,981 --> 00:06:14,939
you guys make a beautiful
couple.
151
00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,201
Thank you so much.
152
00:06:23,613 --> 00:06:25,310
- What?
- No, you're just, your face
153
00:06:25,335 --> 00:06:26,814
is all red. It's beet red.
154
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,319
- It is not!
- Mm-hmm. It's flush.
155
00:06:30,499 --> 00:06:32,458
- Hey, babe!
- Hey, babe!
156
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:34,649
Oh my God! Where are you?
Is that the ocean?
157
00:06:34,674 --> 00:06:37,197
I wish. It's a poster
of the ocean.
158
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,311
'Cause I'm actually in
Stewart's dorm room right now
159
00:06:39,355 --> 00:06:41,662
because mine got evacuated
last night -
160
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:44,012
small fire ants issue.
161
00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:46,362
- Yikes!
Hope everything's okay.
162
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:49,452
It was a real "Fyre Fest."
163
00:06:49,496 --> 00:06:51,802
You do not wanna see
Krista's ankles today.
164
00:06:51,846 --> 00:06:53,978
But, it's all good.
165
00:06:54,022 --> 00:06:55,458
We'll be getting our dorms
back in...
166
00:06:55,502 --> 00:06:57,155
better shape than we left 'em.
167
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,375
- Can't wait.
- Let's talk about you!
168
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,072
Everyone here has been watching
your video!
169
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,857
And to think it was all fake?
170
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:05,425
- Totally fake.
Isn't that wild?
171
00:07:05,468 --> 00:07:07,905
And all of these PR agencies
from New York are calling
172
00:07:07,949 --> 00:07:09,690
to ask me how I did it.
173
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,169
How did you do it?
174
00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:13,041
Um, it's like a little bit
too complicated
175
00:07:13,084 --> 00:07:15,435
to explain over this.
- Hi, Theodore!
176
00:07:15,478 --> 00:07:17,088
Gorgeous view!
177
00:07:17,132 --> 00:07:19,134
- Hi, Mrs. Rose!
Congrats on the movie!
178
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,092
That last scene where you
leap from your nest
179
00:07:21,136 --> 00:07:23,051
only to discover that your wings
180
00:07:23,094 --> 00:07:25,488
aren't developed enough yet...
- Oh, you're too kind.
181
00:07:25,532 --> 00:07:28,099
The Daily Mail called it
a "flap for the ages!"
182
00:07:28,143 --> 00:07:30,406
Okay, can I have my boyfriend
back now, please?
183
00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:31,712
Hm.
184
00:07:31,755 --> 00:07:33,453
Oh!
185
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:35,237
It's Buzzfeed calling
about the 10 goriest
186
00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,065
Clara Mandrake accidents
from the film.
187
00:07:37,108 --> 00:07:38,980
Best we take it.
188
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:40,982
And don't forget,
we have a conference call
189
00:07:41,025 --> 00:07:43,463
with the Interflix PR people
in a tight 15.
190
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:44,986
- Okay.
- Wow,
191
00:07:45,029 --> 00:07:46,901
it seems like you've got
a lot going on, Alexis.
192
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,598
Yes, but not too much for you.
193
00:07:48,642 --> 00:07:50,208
No, don't worry about me,
194
00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:52,036
you're obviously in high demand.
195
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:54,038
Alexis! They're asking
about co-stars.
196
00:07:54,082 --> 00:07:56,867
I can't be expected to remember
everyone I meet!
197
00:07:56,911 --> 00:07:59,217
- Mm. Okay, okay.
Well, I guess I do have to go,
198
00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:00,741
but I will see you in a few days
199
00:08:00,784 --> 00:08:02,394
and I can't wait!
200
00:08:02,438 --> 00:08:03,874
- I can't wait either.
- Alexis!
201
00:08:03,918 --> 00:08:05,397
Okay, I'm coming. Ugh!
202
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:07,051
- Okay, love you!
- Love you...
203
00:08:07,289 --> 00:08:08,682
Ooh!
204
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:15,172
I don't think we're the same
size, Johnny.
205
00:08:15,451 --> 00:08:18,236
I might have a trouble fitting
tissues into these pockets.
206
00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:19,934
Oh, you won't need tissues.
207
00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:21,675
There'll be no crying tonight,
Bob.
208
00:08:21,718 --> 00:08:23,546
You look like a million bucks.
209
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,461
Well, actually, Bob,
in Johnny's suit there,
210
00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:27,419
you look like a guy
who had a million bucks,
211
00:08:27,463 --> 00:08:29,552
but then lost it.
212
00:08:29,596 --> 00:08:30,858
Very funny, Roland.
213
00:08:30,901 --> 00:08:32,555
Now, the suit works, Bob.
214
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,775
Bob, in my experience,
215
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,560
it doesn't matter what you wear.
216
00:08:37,604 --> 00:08:39,693
It's all about being yourself.
217
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,085
I think the last person
218
00:08:41,129 --> 00:08:42,913
Bob wants to be right now
is himself.
219
00:08:42,957 --> 00:08:44,567
I agree with Roland.
220
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,569
I don't know if I can speak
on behalf of women here...
221
00:08:46,613 --> 00:08:47,918
You can't.
222
00:08:47,962 --> 00:08:50,442
Moira used to say,
when she was single,
223
00:08:50,486 --> 00:08:52,227
she would always be attracted
to men
224
00:08:52,270 --> 00:08:54,098
who could make her laugh.
225
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:55,926
How'd she end up with you?
226
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:59,321
All right, why don't we try
a little test run here.
227
00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,758
Let's imagine we're in a bar.
228
00:09:01,802 --> 00:09:04,500
Ronnie, do you wanna be the
woman in this little scenario?
229
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:07,590
- Not a chance.
- Okay. Mm!
230
00:09:07,634 --> 00:09:10,593
Move over. I...
will be the woman.
231
00:09:10,637 --> 00:09:12,377
Okay. So we're in a bar
232
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:15,598
and, uh, you see this very
intriguing looking gentleman.
233
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,619
Okay.
234
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:20,472
Hello, I'm...
235
00:09:20,516 --> 00:09:22,083
I'm Gwen.
- Oh...
236
00:09:22,126 --> 00:09:23,998
- You had to pick Gwen?
- I'm sorry,
237
00:09:24,041 --> 00:09:25,869
I saw Bob standing there
238
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:27,349
and that was the first name
I thought of.
239
00:09:27,392 --> 00:09:29,133
They're always together.
- Okay. Hold it together.
240
00:09:29,177 --> 00:09:31,005
- Pick another name!
- Okay, all right.
241
00:09:31,048 --> 00:09:33,442
Uh... okay, yeah.
242
00:09:34,122 --> 00:09:36,850
Hi. I'm Ronnie.
243
00:09:37,011 --> 00:09:38,969
That's my friend Gwen.
- Oh...
244
00:09:39,013 --> 00:09:40,362
Okay, this is a disaster.
245
00:09:40,405 --> 00:09:42,146
- Thank you, Roland.
I'll take over from here.
246
00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:44,409
Bob, honestly,
247
00:09:44,453 --> 00:09:46,194
You know, just a few runs and...
248
00:09:46,237 --> 00:09:48,152
you're gonna be drowning
in phone numbers.
249
00:09:48,196 --> 00:09:50,067
No. No...
250
00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:53,636
I... I can't breathe.
251
00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,420
Ooh.
252
00:09:57,362 --> 00:09:59,929
You know what? Jake did
a great job with this.
253
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:02,036
- Mm-hmm.
I was just about to say
254
00:10:02,079 --> 00:10:04,168
this coffee table really
brings out your lips.
255
00:10:04,212 --> 00:10:06,475
Okay, what? I can't
compliment the guy?
256
00:10:06,518 --> 00:10:08,956
He's talented. You know, he's
like a, a one-man operation.
257
00:10:08,999 --> 00:10:10,740
Not in my experience.
258
00:10:10,784 --> 00:10:12,786
And I think it was
very nice of him
259
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,352
to invite us for drinks tonight.
260
00:10:14,396 --> 00:10:16,441
- Wasn't it?
- Yes, it was. It was very nice
261
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,400
and I think that we should
get back to him about it.
262
00:10:18,443 --> 00:10:21,359
About going to his place
for "a whiskey or whatever"?
263
00:10:21,403 --> 00:10:23,144
David, I'm fine to have drinks
264
00:10:23,187 --> 00:10:25,450
with one of your exes, okay?
- Okay, first of all,
265
00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:27,670
Jake is nobody's ex
and everybody's ex.
266
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:30,455
And second of all,
going to Jake's for a drink
267
00:10:30,499 --> 00:10:33,676
is never just going
to Jake's for a drink.
268
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,460
Oh... oh. So you...
269
00:10:35,504 --> 00:10:38,681
okay, so you think he invited
us over to... to...?
270
00:10:38,725 --> 00:10:40,683
- Yes, I do. Yeah.
- Yeah.
271
00:10:40,727 --> 00:10:42,554
Well, in that case,
we definitely shouldn't go.
272
00:10:42,598 --> 00:10:44,905
'Cause we're not really
the kind of couple that...
273
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:47,037
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah...
274
00:10:47,081 --> 00:10:49,692
That being said,
275
00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,607
if we ever did decide to...
276
00:10:52,956 --> 00:10:55,567
have "a whiskey" with someone,
277
00:10:55,611 --> 00:10:58,135
Jake would be the person
to do that with
278
00:10:58,179 --> 00:11:00,660
because he literally doesn't
care about anything.
279
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:02,270
So just...
280
00:11:02,313 --> 00:11:04,359
I'm just throwing it out there.
281
00:11:05,577 --> 00:11:07,362
I mean, we always have
the option of going
282
00:11:07,405 --> 00:11:09,799
and just having a whiskey.
283
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:12,367
Okay. And I always have
the option of online shopping
284
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,630
and just putting things
in the cart.
285
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,588
That's not gonna happen.
286
00:11:18,852 --> 00:11:21,245
Um... what's all this?
287
00:11:21,289 --> 00:11:22,725
They just keep coming.
288
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,945
Well, congratulations.
289
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:26,729
That must mean everyone's happy.
290
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,339
Oh, very happy, yes.
291
00:11:28,383 --> 00:11:30,341
Thanks to your little attack
of the corvidae,
292
00:11:30,385 --> 00:11:33,388
we are Interflix's number one
stream of the day.
293
00:11:33,431 --> 00:11:35,607
Tied only with the fourth season
294
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,174
of "Caroline in the City."
295
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:39,089
From Interflix.
296
00:11:40,395 --> 00:11:42,614
"To Alexis,
297
00:11:42,658 --> 00:11:44,704
congratulations and thank you.
298
00:11:44,747 --> 00:11:47,141
The competition is eating
crow."
299
00:11:47,184 --> 00:11:49,883
"Love, your new best friends
at Interflix."
300
00:11:52,233 --> 00:11:53,887
They're all for you.
301
00:11:55,410 --> 00:11:57,629
Not those - those are from
Joyce Dewitt.
302
00:11:57,673 --> 00:11:59,457
I didn't want to overwhelm you,
dear,
303
00:11:59,501 --> 00:12:01,895
I know you're being pulled
in another direction.
304
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:05,463
Though, you might find a bit
more delectation in this.
305
00:12:06,521 --> 00:12:08,828
No, I do. I... I just like
haven't received flowers
306
00:12:08,853 --> 00:12:12,099
from someone I wasn't...
friends with.
307
00:12:13,689 --> 00:12:15,386
What do I do?
308
00:12:15,430 --> 00:12:16,910
What do you want to do?
309
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,607
I can't leave now.
310
00:12:18,650 --> 00:12:20,087
If you're worried
about the flowers,
311
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:21,784
they'll likely be dead
in a week.
312
00:12:21,828 --> 00:12:23,438
Yeah, like my career
if I walk away
313
00:12:23,481 --> 00:12:25,135
with everything that's going on.
314
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,789
I've already made Ted wait
an extra month.
315
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:29,618
I can't... back out now.
316
00:12:29,661 --> 00:12:31,968
- So you...
you weigh your options.
317
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:34,928
On the one hand, you are perched
318
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:37,278
on the precipice
of a dream come true
319
00:12:37,321 --> 00:12:39,976
and you can jump knowing,
possibly for the first time,
320
00:12:40,020 --> 00:12:42,109
that you can succeed at anything
321
00:12:42,152 --> 00:12:44,328
to which you put your mind.
322
00:12:45,825 --> 00:12:47,418
And on the other hand?
323
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:50,161
- What other hand?
- Ted!
324
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:52,684
Dear Ted.
325
00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,469
Yes, this is a quandary.
326
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:06,133
Well, things seem to be
going well.
327
00:13:06,738 --> 00:13:08,827
Yeah, look, they're standing
pretty close together.
328
00:13:08,871 --> 00:13:10,438
That must be a good sign.
329
00:13:10,481 --> 00:13:12,004
Yeah, and he's not crossing
his arms.
330
00:13:12,048 --> 00:13:13,919
That's good body language.
And... they're hugging!
331
00:13:13,963 --> 00:13:15,443
Uh-huh.
332
00:13:15,486 --> 00:13:17,619
- And... now he's walking away.
Okay.
333
00:13:17,662 --> 00:13:19,969
Well? How'd it go, Bob?
334
00:13:20,012 --> 00:13:22,014
It looked like you two
were hitting off.
335
00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:23,364
What're the odds of...
336
00:13:23,407 --> 00:13:25,627
running into my marriage
counselor here?
337
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,455
I'm sorry, did you just say
338
00:13:27,498 --> 00:13:29,283
you picked up your marriage
counselor?
339
00:13:29,326 --> 00:13:30,414
No.
340
00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:33,287
I'm saying she told me
she can't keep seeing me.
341
00:13:33,330 --> 00:13:35,506
Apparently, there's a conflict
of interest
342
00:13:35,550 --> 00:13:38,248
and, uh, she's chosen to go
with Gwen.
343
00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,060
But... I can't blame her.
344
00:13:41,425 --> 00:13:42,861
Okay,
345
00:13:42,905 --> 00:13:45,081
can we try my system now?
346
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,344
We all laugh,
on the count of three,
347
00:13:47,388 --> 00:13:49,564
as if Bob just told
a very funny joke.
348
00:13:49,607 --> 00:13:51,566
Oh, no pressure.
349
00:13:51,609 --> 00:13:53,524
Well, you don't actually
have to tell a joke, Bob.
350
00:13:53,568 --> 00:13:55,396
Just act like you did.
351
00:13:55,439 --> 00:13:58,834
And that might attract uh...
you know, someone's attention.
352
00:13:58,877 --> 00:14:00,531
What if they ask me what I said?
353
00:14:00,575 --> 00:14:02,185
Well, they're not gonna ask
you what you said.
354
00:14:02,229 --> 00:14:03,969
I don't know, Johnny.
355
00:14:04,013 --> 00:14:06,015
This sounds like a really
complicated plan.
356
00:14:06,058 --> 00:14:07,843
- Mm-hmm.
- It couldn't be more simple.
357
00:14:08,237 --> 00:14:11,023
Just follow my lead.
358
00:14:20,899 --> 00:14:23,032
- It's working.
It's working. Working.
359
00:14:23,075 --> 00:14:24,860
Is something funny?
360
00:14:24,903 --> 00:14:26,383
Well, now that you mention it...
361
00:14:26,427 --> 00:14:28,211
Because it looked like you
were laughing at me.
362
00:14:29,279 --> 00:14:33,173
No, It's, it's just my very
available friend, Bob here,
363
00:14:33,216 --> 00:14:35,523
just said something so funny.
364
00:14:35,566 --> 00:14:38,221
- What'd you say?
- You said they wouldn't ask.
365
00:14:38,265 --> 00:14:40,658
Okay, I'm not saying
I'm bailing on this,
366
00:14:40,702 --> 00:14:43,052
but... I think I'm gonna go
mingle and...
367
00:14:43,113 --> 00:14:45,372
I might not come back.
368
00:14:45,763 --> 00:14:48,231
It's not so much, uh,
what he said,
369
00:14:48,275 --> 00:14:51,408
it was just, uh, it was a funny
observation.
370
00:14:51,452 --> 00:14:54,411
Well, next time,
observe someone else.
371
00:14:58,167 --> 00:15:00,473
Crrrash and burn, Johnny.
372
00:15:00,498 --> 00:15:03,762
Boy, I... I buckled
under the pressure.
373
00:15:03,942 --> 00:15:06,336
But she was a dead ringer
for Gwen.
374
00:15:11,028 --> 00:15:13,901
Oh, didn't know we were
bringing our friends tonight.
375
00:15:14,257 --> 00:15:15,911
'Kay, I knew I shouldn't have
worn this shirt.
376
00:15:15,954 --> 00:15:17,913
- No, it's nice, it's nice.
Is it new?
377
00:15:17,956 --> 00:15:19,741
And does it come in
an adult size?
378
00:15:19,784 --> 00:15:22,091
- It's not new.
I just haven't worn it yet.
379
00:15:22,134 --> 00:15:24,036
- So it is new then.
- Is that cologne I smell?
380
00:15:24,061 --> 00:15:26,542
No. This is a leather-scented
body moisturizer.
381
00:15:27,328 --> 00:15:30,287
So, you... you moisturized
your body then.
382
00:15:31,231 --> 00:15:33,102
You know what?
Why don't we not do this?
383
00:15:33,145 --> 00:15:34,495
This is getting a bit
complicated.
384
00:15:34,538 --> 00:15:36,410
The only thing that's
complicated here
385
00:15:36,453 --> 00:15:37,933
is the length of your sleeves.
386
00:15:37,976 --> 00:15:39,543
Go long, go short.
Just pick one.
387
00:15:39,587 --> 00:15:41,980
Um, as for this?
If one of us wants to leave
388
00:15:42,024 --> 00:15:43,417
and the other one wants
to stay, then...
389
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,723
- We both leave.
- We... both leave, yeah.
390
00:15:45,767 --> 00:15:49,379
So... I think you should knock
on the door
391
00:15:49,423 --> 00:15:52,339
because these arms are nice
and warmed up.
392
00:15:53,818 --> 00:15:55,559
All right.
393
00:15:57,431 --> 00:16:00,303
Hi, boys.
394
00:16:00,347 --> 00:16:02,305
So glad you could make it.
Come on in.
395
00:16:06,831 --> 00:16:08,442
Oh wow.
396
00:16:08,485 --> 00:16:10,879
A lot of people are here
for drinks, David.
397
00:16:10,922 --> 00:16:12,228
Yeah, a few more are on
their way.
398
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:13,925
Make yourselves at home, boys.
399
00:16:13,969 --> 00:16:15,579
Great shirt, by the way.
- Aw.
400
00:16:15,623 --> 00:16:16,885
Mm-hmm. Thanks.
401
00:16:16,928 --> 00:16:19,322
Um...
402
00:16:19,366 --> 00:16:22,282
We left our wine in the car.
- Oh.
403
00:16:22,325 --> 00:16:23,848
So we should go get that.
404
00:16:23,892 --> 00:16:25,937
- Oh, don't worry about it.
Plenty of vino here.
405
00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:28,288
Yeah, it's just that ours
is um...
406
00:16:29,332 --> 00:16:30,986
kosher.
- Mm.
407
00:16:31,029 --> 00:16:33,249
Well, hurry back. We're gonna
start the massage circle soon.
408
00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:35,120
- Oh...
- Don't wanna miss it.
409
00:16:35,164 --> 00:16:37,558
Think you're up
for the massage circle?
410
00:16:37,601 --> 00:16:39,429
- This is way too many people.
- Yeah.
411
00:16:39,473 --> 00:16:41,692
You have your coat.
We should go.
412
00:16:41,736 --> 00:16:43,477
And... Stevie?
413
00:16:44,028 --> 00:16:46,021
Oh... my God.
414
00:16:46,529 --> 00:16:47,583
Huh.
415
00:16:48,091 --> 00:16:49,526
What're you doing here?
416
00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:53,051
- What're you two doing here?
- We were...
417
00:16:53,677 --> 00:16:55,996
- We were just...
- Invited for drinks?
418
00:16:56,021 --> 00:16:57,360
I don't know what
you're talking about.
419
00:16:57,404 --> 00:16:58,883
We came here to say hi
420
00:16:58,927 --> 00:17:00,232
and now we're leaving.
- Mm-hmm.
421
00:17:00,276 --> 00:17:02,496
Can I not have one thing
for myself?
422
00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:04,715
No. Anyway, we're gonna go.
423
00:17:04,759 --> 00:17:06,238
You gonna come with?
424
00:17:06,282 --> 00:17:08,850
- Uh... I still have like...
half a drink left,
425
00:17:08,893 --> 00:17:10,852
so I think I'm gonna finish it
here, and then...
426
00:17:10,895 --> 00:17:12,375
meet you guys later?
427
00:17:12,419 --> 00:17:14,246
- No, you won't.
- No, I won't.
428
00:17:14,407 --> 00:17:16,191
- Okay.
- Have fun.
429
00:17:16,665 --> 00:17:18,188
Bye.
430
00:17:27,303 --> 00:17:29,000
Hey, sorry I'm late.
431
00:17:29,044 --> 00:17:30,393
Myrtle was laying her eggs
432
00:17:30,437 --> 00:17:32,264
and the whole team
was really excited.
433
00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:34,702
- Mmm! Yeah, I bet.
Fresh omelettes.
434
00:17:34,745 --> 00:17:36,573
Well, Myrtle's a green sea
turtle,
435
00:17:36,617 --> 00:17:38,575
and they only spawn
every two years,
436
00:17:38,619 --> 00:17:40,925
so eating her eggs would
actually disrupt
437
00:17:40,969 --> 00:17:42,492
an entire ecosystem.
438
00:17:42,536 --> 00:17:44,538
Plus, there's like a ton
of cholesterol.
439
00:17:44,581 --> 00:17:46,888
Mm. Um, well, it sounds
like you're super busy,
440
00:17:46,931 --> 00:17:48,933
so I don't wanna take up
too much of your time,
441
00:17:48,977 --> 00:17:52,284
um, but I actually wanted
to talk to you about something.
442
00:17:52,328 --> 00:17:54,199
I know what you're going
to say, Alexis.
443
00:17:54,243 --> 00:17:56,593
- You do?
- I've been dropping the ball
444
00:17:56,637 --> 00:17:58,682
when it comes to our phone
dates.
445
00:17:58,726 --> 00:18:01,424
Between juggling work
and, and the time difference...
446
00:18:01,468 --> 00:18:03,600
No, Ted, you haven't done
anything wrong.
447
00:18:03,644 --> 00:18:05,428
We've both been so busy
with work,
448
00:18:05,472 --> 00:18:07,343
and then on top of all of that,
you've been...
449
00:18:07,387 --> 00:18:09,432
renovating your entire
apartment for me.
450
00:18:09,476 --> 00:18:11,608
Well, I put some screens
on the windows.
451
00:18:11,652 --> 00:18:13,523
I wouldn't really call it
a renovation.
452
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:15,525
Okay, well, you bought a juicer.
453
00:18:16,076 --> 00:18:18,687
Um, but the more
I've been thinking about it,
454
00:18:18,965 --> 00:18:21,680
the more I feel... like...
455
00:18:21,705 --> 00:18:24,360
- I think you should stay where you are.
- Maybe I should stay here.
456
00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,971
Sorry, did, did you say
something?
457
00:18:27,015 --> 00:18:29,452
No. Um... What did you say?
458
00:18:29,496 --> 00:18:31,759
I can't have you come here,
Alexis. You'll hate it.
459
00:18:31,802 --> 00:18:35,240
And I'm not just saying that
because the screens that I installed
460
00:18:35,284 --> 00:18:37,591
are actually attracting
more bugs somehow.
461
00:18:37,634 --> 00:18:41,159
But you'd be leaving everything
that you're doing to come here,
462
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,771
and... I can't guarantee that
there won't have another trip
463
00:18:43,814 --> 00:18:46,469
that takes me away
for days at a time.
464
00:18:46,966 --> 00:18:49,907
D-don't get me wrong,
I want you here so bad,
465
00:18:49,951 --> 00:18:51,692
but I know you.
466
00:18:51,735 --> 00:18:53,781
And no matter how many juices
I buy,
467
00:18:54,409 --> 00:18:57,021
this place just won't feel
like home.
468
00:18:59,447 --> 00:19:02,329
Sorry. I can't tell
if the screen's frozen,
469
00:19:02,354 --> 00:19:03,965
or if you're just really
shocked.
470
00:19:04,008 --> 00:19:05,923
But if you still want to come,
I'm not gonna tell you not to.
471
00:19:05,967 --> 00:19:07,490
No, no, no, no. Um...
472
00:19:07,534 --> 00:19:10,101
you've made some very valid
points.
473
00:19:10,145 --> 00:19:11,581
Yeah. I didn't even tell you
474
00:19:11,625 --> 00:19:13,496
about the shared bathroom
situation.
475
00:19:13,540 --> 00:19:15,585
Okay, well... maybe you
could've led with that.
476
00:19:15,629 --> 00:19:17,805
Would've saved us some time.
477
00:19:17,848 --> 00:19:20,677
Um, but I guess we just
wait it out?
478
00:19:21,548 --> 00:19:23,506
Seems like our only option.
479
00:19:23,550 --> 00:19:25,856
Yeah, until somebody invents
teleportation.
480
00:19:27,423 --> 00:19:30,644
Okay, well, um...
nobody's home,
481
00:19:30,687 --> 00:19:32,994
so why don't we start
by teleporting you
482
00:19:33,037 --> 00:19:34,691
out of that shirt?
483
00:19:34,735 --> 00:19:36,519
That's not really how
teleportation works,
484
00:19:36,563 --> 00:19:38,303
but I think that I can...
485
00:19:38,347 --> 00:19:40,523
Aww... not again!
486
00:19:40,567 --> 00:19:43,178
I'm so sorry, uh,
but the ants are back
487
00:19:43,221 --> 00:19:45,049
and, uh, I think
what we're about to do
488
00:19:45,111 --> 00:19:47,853
probably wouldn't end very well
if a fire ant was involved.
489
00:19:47,878 --> 00:19:49,793
Um, rain check?
490
00:19:50,591 --> 00:19:52,050
Rain check.
491
00:19:52,075 --> 00:19:54,189
I love you!
492
00:19:54,388 --> 00:19:56,086
Uh, mm, oh!
493
00:19:57,817 --> 00:19:59,340
Love you.
494
00:20:05,825 --> 00:20:08,066
Hey, I'm heading out.
495
00:20:08,091 --> 00:20:09,316
Calling it a night?
496
00:20:09,360 --> 00:20:12,760
Well, actually, my night
is just beginning.
497
00:20:12,785 --> 00:20:15,657
Whoa... Welcome to
the players' club.
498
00:20:15,701 --> 00:20:17,441
No, I'm not high-fiving that.
499
00:20:17,485 --> 00:20:19,835
Look, her name is Vanessa,
500
00:20:19,879 --> 00:20:21,881
and she has a very single,
501
00:20:21,924 --> 00:20:24,405
very attractive friend
over there,
502
00:20:24,448 --> 00:20:26,015
who was just telling me about
503
00:20:26,059 --> 00:20:28,539
all the trouble she's having
with her car.
504
00:20:28,583 --> 00:20:30,759
Bob, this is right up
your alley.
505
00:20:30,803 --> 00:20:33,066
Nobody knows their way around
cars like you.
506
00:20:33,109 --> 00:20:35,808
Yeah, I, uh, was really
hoping to not talk shop.
507
00:20:35,851 --> 00:20:38,506
Bob, just go over
and talk to her.
508
00:20:38,549 --> 00:20:40,421
Look, be yourself.
509
00:20:40,464 --> 00:20:42,728
Have a mint.
Go, go, go, go.
510
00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:47,149
And that, gentlemen,
511
00:20:47,428 --> 00:20:49,691
is how it's done. Bye!
512
00:20:52,221 --> 00:20:55,006
You know, Roland,
I do not miss being single.
513
00:20:55,031 --> 00:20:57,224
Whoa, here's to that.
514
00:20:57,525 --> 00:20:59,048
Cheers, my friend.
515
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:02,051
Not that I didn't have fun
in my day.
516
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,227
They actually used to call me
"the closer."
517
00:21:04,271 --> 00:21:06,273
- Yeah.
Well, that was probably
518
00:21:06,316 --> 00:21:08,318
because women used to close out
their tabs and go home
519
00:21:08,362 --> 00:21:09,885
when you came into the bar.
520
00:21:09,929 --> 00:21:11,757
All right, speaking of
closing out tabs,
521
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,323
I think we should get out
of here.
522
00:21:13,367 --> 00:21:15,151
Which is what the women used
to say to each other
523
00:21:15,195 --> 00:21:16,849
when they saw you walking
through the door.
524
00:21:16,892 --> 00:21:18,981
I'm not setting you up
anymore, Roland.
525
00:21:19,025 --> 00:21:20,722
Which is that what
your matchmaker said!
526
00:21:21,390 --> 00:21:22,826
Oh boy...
38750
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.