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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,327 --> 00:00:09,109 Previously on "Kevin Can [BEEP] Himself"... 2 00:00:09,114 --> 00:00:10,273 Patty O'Connor? 3 00:00:10,278 --> 00:00:12,062 Detective Tammy Ridgeway, Worcester PD. 4 00:00:12,067 --> 00:00:14,487 Detective Ridgeway is looking for the local dealer. 5 00:00:14,500 --> 00:00:16,687 - Yeah, you. - We give her somebody different. 6 00:00:16,692 --> 00:00:18,100 I need those pills for him, 7 00:00:18,105 --> 00:00:19,319 'cause I'm gonna kill Kevin. 8 00:00:19,324 --> 00:00:22,017 I'm actually good at doing terrible things to people. 9 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,545 I quit. 10 00:00:23,550 --> 00:00:24,804 Gragh! 11 00:00:24,809 --> 00:00:27,116 - And what are you doing next Friday? - What? 12 00:00:27,121 --> 00:00:29,515 - You must not have heard of me. - I've heard of you. 13 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,359 Give me some pills, honey. 14 00:00:32,936 --> 00:00:36,038 - You know any natural-born killers? - I think I might. 15 00:00:44,953 --> 00:00:46,476 And just so you know, this isn't 16 00:00:46,481 --> 00:00:49,163 some random guy that we're asking you to... 17 00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:53,452 He's awful. 18 00:00:53,929 --> 00:00:57,313 I mean, it... it might seem like he's just an idiot... and he is. 19 00:00:57,318 --> 00:00:59,054 Don't get me wrong. He is an idiot. 20 00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:03,145 But he is also manipulative and an asshole and... 21 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,760 - Shut up. - Hm? 22 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,687 Stop talking. 23 00:01:07,806 --> 00:01:09,156 How much? 24 00:01:10,872 --> 00:01:13,701 Seven grand. Cash. 25 00:01:15,014 --> 00:01:16,357 And these. 26 00:01:17,367 --> 00:01:19,587 As a down payment. 27 00:01:34,300 --> 00:01:36,194 Okay. I can do it. 28 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:39,429 Wow, that's... 29 00:01:40,632 --> 00:01:43,780 Oh, you guys got a picture or anything? 30 00:01:46,624 --> 00:01:48,030 - Allison, picture. - Oh, yes. 31 00:01:48,035 --> 00:01:50,280 Yeah, um, I have a picture 32 00:01:50,285 --> 00:01:53,023 and, um, his name, his employer. 33 00:01:53,028 --> 00:01:55,905 He does, uh, fiber-optic installation and maintenance. 34 00:01:55,910 --> 00:01:57,956 And I managed to get my hand on his schedule 35 00:01:57,961 --> 00:02:00,374 for the next few weeks, although it's not exact 36 00:02:00,379 --> 00:02:02,827 because if you've ever waited around for a cable guy, 37 00:02:02,832 --> 00:02:05,866 - you know... - Shut up. 38 00:02:07,272 --> 00:02:09,499 I just thought that it might help. 39 00:02:09,758 --> 00:02:11,601 Let me see his picture. 40 00:02:12,300 --> 00:02:15,695 Yeah, I mean, probably 41 00:02:15,700 --> 00:02:20,179 the less specifics we know the better, right? 42 00:02:20,232 --> 00:02:22,171 Sure. 43 00:02:23,335 --> 00:02:26,189 What kind of timeline we looking at? 44 00:02:29,707 --> 00:02:31,937 - Soon? - Y-Yeah. 45 00:02:34,483 --> 00:02:37,791 Soon works. Don't contact me. 46 00:02:38,589 --> 00:02:41,324 When it's done, you'll definitely know. 47 00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:43,535 I'll come find you for payment. 48 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,987 So that's it? 49 00:02:47,706 --> 00:02:49,164 You want a receipt? 50 00:02:49,169 --> 00:02:51,660 No. Of course not. 51 00:02:51,665 --> 00:02:52,927 Come on. 52 00:02:53,488 --> 00:02:56,404 Oh, hey, you take care of Tammy? 53 00:02:56,409 --> 00:02:57,699 - Who? - Her and her partner 54 00:02:57,704 --> 00:02:59,675 are not letting this go, and it's starting to piss me off. 55 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:01,508 Yeah, I'm on it. 56 00:03:01,664 --> 00:03:05,494 But after this, you and me, we good? 57 00:03:07,498 --> 00:03:09,425 You bet. 58 00:03:12,658 --> 00:03:14,792 I'm nothing if not reasonable. 59 00:03:23,227 --> 00:03:28,227 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 60 00:03:30,996 --> 00:03:32,551 Jesus. 61 00:03:33,263 --> 00:03:35,497 This is something out of a horror movie. 62 00:03:36,832 --> 00:03:38,765 I mean, it feels like 63 00:03:38,770 --> 00:03:41,692 hands are reaching through the chair to squeeze my neck. 64 00:03:42,606 --> 00:03:44,347 I think I like it. 65 00:03:44,507 --> 00:03:46,074 Really? 66 00:03:46,079 --> 00:03:48,614 I mean, it's tacky and awful, 67 00:03:48,619 --> 00:03:50,684 but I've never had a massage before. 68 00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:52,473 I'm not sure this counts. 69 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,925 Ah, I feel like my body's been tense for years, 70 00:03:54,930 --> 00:03:58,542 and I can finally just relax. 71 00:03:58,547 --> 00:04:00,340 Relax? 72 00:04:02,105 --> 00:04:04,531 After the meeting we just had? 73 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,864 Mm. 74 00:04:05,869 --> 00:04:07,434 No, it's like the... 75 00:04:07,439 --> 00:04:09,983 The one time I was on a plane for a swim meet. 76 00:04:09,988 --> 00:04:12,051 I was terrified. 77 00:04:12,056 --> 00:04:15,051 Once we took off, I was totally calm 78 00:04:15,056 --> 00:04:17,754 because, once you're up there, it's done. 79 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:19,297 It's decided. 80 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:22,968 You either stay in the air or you fall, 81 00:04:22,973 --> 00:04:25,137 but either way, it's out of your hands 82 00:04:25,142 --> 00:04:26,522 and into the pilot's, you know? 83 00:04:26,527 --> 00:04:28,536 It's his responsibility. 84 00:04:30,122 --> 00:04:32,887 You know, I don't love that Nick told me to shut up. 85 00:04:33,660 --> 00:04:35,247 There aren't that many polite people 86 00:04:35,252 --> 00:04:38,231 who definitely murdered their stepdad and got away with it. 87 00:04:38,638 --> 00:04:40,292 I guess. 88 00:04:40,297 --> 00:04:43,012 He did say it like five times. 89 00:04:43,652 --> 00:04:46,075 We want the guy to be a little unhinged. 90 00:04:48,464 --> 00:04:51,372 You're not really gonna buy one of these, are you? 91 00:04:51,377 --> 00:04:52,944 They're so expensive. 92 00:04:52,949 --> 00:04:54,777 Well, I have no choice. 93 00:04:54,782 --> 00:04:56,306 If I don't get this for Kevin's birthday, 94 00:04:56,311 --> 00:04:57,840 he's just gonna get it himself. 95 00:04:58,742 --> 00:05:01,092 Said the only thing missing is a Robert Kraft setting 96 00:05:01,097 --> 00:05:02,817 and laughing his ass off. 97 00:05:02,822 --> 00:05:04,707 Hey, what? 98 00:05:05,205 --> 00:05:06,989 Just... 99 00:05:07,346 --> 00:05:08,651 This is quite a present for a guy 100 00:05:08,656 --> 00:05:11,262 who got you a rubber-band ball on Valentine's. 101 00:05:11,267 --> 00:05:12,920 He knew I was always losing my hair ties. 102 00:05:12,925 --> 00:05:14,637 He thought they were rubber bands. 103 00:05:16,059 --> 00:05:17,989 Almost thoughtful. 104 00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:21,426 Alright, now it's getting fresh. 105 00:05:21,431 --> 00:05:23,793 Whoa! Okay. 106 00:05:25,620 --> 00:05:27,753 No buyer's remorse? 107 00:05:29,144 --> 00:05:31,054 No. 108 00:05:31,059 --> 00:05:32,450 It's done. 109 00:05:34,060 --> 00:05:36,889 I, uh... I got him the brown leather chair. 110 00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:40,644 He said black is classy, but to hell with it 111 00:05:40,649 --> 00:05:43,304 'cause I also got him that ice-cream cake 112 00:05:43,309 --> 00:05:46,704 that he demanded even though he's lactose intolerant, so... 113 00:05:46,709 --> 00:05:49,234 Kevin's birthday... Always an event. 114 00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:52,656 Oh, what do you mean, the two dinners he juggles every year? 115 00:05:53,270 --> 00:05:54,692 You know about that? 116 00:05:56,004 --> 00:05:59,963 Patty, he insists that we eat at the Vic House every year 117 00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:04,364 which happens to be right next door to Tricky Ricky's Fun Zone, 118 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,114 and 10 minutes in, he says that he left something in the car 119 00:06:07,119 --> 00:06:08,537 and I don't see him for an hour and a half. 120 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,806 So, yeah. Yeah, Patty, I know. 121 00:06:11,888 --> 00:06:14,456 I-I just don't know why he bothers. 122 00:06:14,461 --> 00:06:16,680 He wants you and Neil to think you're both his favorite, 123 00:06:16,685 --> 00:06:18,251 so he runs back and forth. 124 00:06:18,256 --> 00:06:19,736 Jesus. 125 00:06:19,741 --> 00:06:21,787 He must think I'm an idiot, huh? 126 00:06:21,792 --> 00:06:25,013 No, I think he thinks he's a mastermind. 127 00:06:25,559 --> 00:06:28,192 Also, Neil's fallen for it for 10 years. 128 00:06:28,528 --> 00:06:31,395 So I guess you've been in the crowd at Tricky Ricky's? 129 00:06:32,236 --> 00:06:34,238 Well, y-yeah. 130 00:06:34,243 --> 00:06:39,043 I mean, I'm, you know, sorry. 131 00:06:39,048 --> 00:06:40,590 Don't be. 132 00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:42,597 I look forward to Kevin's birthday every year 133 00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,996 'cause I get to have a nice dinner by myself 134 00:06:45,001 --> 00:06:47,663 and I have some wine and I bring I book that I start 135 00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:49,286 and I never finish. 136 00:06:49,957 --> 00:06:51,567 It's, honestly, the one night a year 137 00:06:51,572 --> 00:06:54,270 I can look forward to some peace. 138 00:06:54,275 --> 00:06:55,758 Wow. 139 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:57,559 That's what you look forward to? 140 00:06:57,739 --> 00:07:00,438 Well, this year, I need it more than ever. 141 00:07:01,512 --> 00:07:03,731 You really think that I didn't know? 142 00:07:04,926 --> 00:07:07,918 I am realizing I used to think you were kind of stupid. 143 00:07:09,669 --> 00:07:11,580 Well, back at you. 144 00:07:14,205 --> 00:07:17,959 Uh, you wanna grab some lunch, or...? 145 00:07:17,964 --> 00:07:20,940 I mean, you got a while before your sad dinner alone. 146 00:07:20,945 --> 00:07:23,721 Yeah, I can't. I have to... I have work. 147 00:07:23,726 --> 00:07:26,596 - Ah, yeah. New job. - Yeah. 148 00:07:26,601 --> 00:07:29,963 Is the yuppie diner as thrilling as the package store? 149 00:07:30,586 --> 00:07:33,806 You know, it's... it's... Everything's boring. 150 00:07:33,811 --> 00:07:35,421 You know, work is work. 151 00:07:35,473 --> 00:07:37,910 Work is work, yeah. 152 00:07:37,915 --> 00:07:40,309 Well, this is me, so, um, 153 00:07:40,314 --> 00:07:41,963 I will see you after Tricky Ricky's. 154 00:07:41,968 --> 00:07:44,198 Actually, I'm, uh... I'm gonna skip this one. 155 00:07:44,203 --> 00:07:47,237 Just I'm not really feeling up to it. 156 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:48,593 What, are you sick? 157 00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:49,799 I can bring you some soup from the diner. 158 00:07:49,804 --> 00:07:51,901 - No, I'm not sick. - I can bring you home some soup. 159 00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:56,432 No, I'm... I just... I'm gonna stay in, watch a movie. 160 00:07:57,057 --> 00:07:59,205 You're not the only one who likes her alone time. 161 00:08:00,039 --> 00:08:01,606 Absolutely. 162 00:08:01,611 --> 00:08:03,395 Love alone time. 163 00:08:05,982 --> 00:08:08,463 God, I feel like I'm 17 again. 164 00:08:08,468 --> 00:08:10,034 I know. 165 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:15,221 I thought we weren't gonna do this anymore. 166 00:08:15,226 --> 00:08:17,441 No, you didn't. 167 00:08:29,092 --> 00:08:31,080 This is so stupid. 168 00:08:32,002 --> 00:08:34,483 What am I even... this is... 169 00:08:36,157 --> 00:08:39,073 Who cares? Who cares? 170 00:08:50,007 --> 00:08:51,879 Oh, God. 171 00:09:07,618 --> 00:09:09,707 I like working here. 172 00:09:10,862 --> 00:09:12,503 I like you working here. 173 00:09:16,956 --> 00:09:19,010 I have this thing I gotta do after I close, 174 00:09:19,015 --> 00:09:22,760 but, um, maybe we can meet back up here later. 175 00:09:22,765 --> 00:09:25,516 Um, normally, I would. 176 00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:26,682 But not tonight? 177 00:09:26,687 --> 00:09:29,951 I... It's, uh... It's kind of a special night. 178 00:09:29,956 --> 00:09:32,175 It's a long story, but, um... 179 00:09:32,180 --> 00:09:35,270 Okay. Message received. 180 00:09:35,744 --> 00:09:37,146 Rain check? 181 00:09:37,577 --> 00:09:39,143 Of course. 182 00:09:39,148 --> 00:09:41,672 I think the boss scheduled us together again this weekend, 183 00:09:41,677 --> 00:09:43,510 so I'm sure we'll find some time. 184 00:09:43,892 --> 00:09:45,371 Okay. 185 00:09:45,376 --> 00:09:48,631 Oh, good. I caught you. 186 00:09:48,814 --> 00:09:50,062 Hey. 187 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:53,849 I wanted to give you this for your sad, lonely dinner. 188 00:09:53,854 --> 00:09:54,942 Oh, wow. 189 00:09:54,947 --> 00:09:58,002 I told you, it's not sad, but, um, thank you. 190 00:09:58,203 --> 00:09:59,291 "The Pearl." 191 00:09:59,296 --> 00:10:01,080 Yeah, it's a novella, 192 00:10:01,085 --> 00:10:03,893 so you actually have an outside shot of finishing this one. 193 00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:07,955 God, Patty, are you... You being thoughtful? 194 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,136 No, please, shut up. 195 00:10:10,353 --> 00:10:12,002 I just had it lying around. 196 00:10:12,007 --> 00:10:13,748 It's nothing. 197 00:10:15,914 --> 00:10:19,004 Are you wearing a blouse for your night in? 198 00:10:19,425 --> 00:10:20,778 - And this whole... - You know, I mean, 199 00:10:20,783 --> 00:10:22,272 sometimes you gotta do something dumb 200 00:10:22,277 --> 00:10:24,144 to feel good about yourself. 201 00:10:25,154 --> 00:10:26,670 Right? 202 00:10:27,561 --> 00:10:30,581 Yeah. Yep. 203 00:10:31,195 --> 00:10:33,099 You do. 204 00:10:34,329 --> 00:10:36,100 - Have a great night. - Yes. 205 00:10:37,071 --> 00:10:38,899 Bye. 206 00:10:48,594 --> 00:10:50,291 What a birthday, huh? 207 00:10:50,302 --> 00:10:53,436 Just me and my girl, the guys be damned. 208 00:10:54,315 --> 00:10:56,056 It's my favorite tradition. 209 00:10:56,061 --> 00:10:57,454 Yep. 210 00:10:57,459 --> 00:10:59,287 Neil wanted to hang tonight, but I said, 211 00:10:59,292 --> 00:11:01,514 "Bro, I can hang with yous any night. 212 00:11:01,519 --> 00:11:05,007 This is my birthday, and that's meant for my favorite person." 213 00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:06,092 Aww. 214 00:11:06,097 --> 00:11:07,709 Who gives the best gifts. 215 00:11:08,350 --> 00:11:10,404 - Right this way. - Ah. 216 00:11:10,409 --> 00:11:12,287 Thank you so much. 217 00:11:19,062 --> 00:11:20,951 Thank you. 218 00:11:21,693 --> 00:11:22,868 Thank you so much. 219 00:11:22,873 --> 00:11:24,264 Enjoy. 220 00:11:27,669 --> 00:11:30,850 And for my girl, we don't go to just any restaurant. 221 00:11:30,855 --> 00:11:33,912 No, no, no. This... This is tie food. 222 00:11:35,209 --> 00:11:37,576 Pretty sure that name's already taken. 223 00:11:37,733 --> 00:11:38,983 Good evening. 224 00:11:38,988 --> 00:11:41,350 Can I start you off with anything to drink? 225 00:11:41,355 --> 00:11:43,357 Um, well, it's a special occasion, 226 00:11:43,362 --> 00:11:45,459 so how about a-a nice bottle of red? 227 00:11:45,464 --> 00:11:47,509 Um, no. 228 00:11:47,514 --> 00:11:50,560 Since it's my birthday and I'm the most important one, 229 00:11:50,565 --> 00:11:53,842 I choose two glasses of the Pinot. 230 00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:55,686 So the cheapest? 231 00:11:55,691 --> 00:11:57,189 Yes. 232 00:12:00,459 --> 00:12:02,545 Box or bottle, it all goes down the same. 233 00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:03,701 Am I right, babe? 234 00:12:03,706 --> 00:12:07,100 Well, it's gotta be more expensive for a reason. 235 00:12:07,305 --> 00:12:10,700 Like a car with airbags, which would be nice. 236 00:12:10,986 --> 00:12:14,404 Oh, sweetie, you are way too trusting. 237 00:12:14,409 --> 00:12:17,350 These people spot suckers like you coming from a mile away. 238 00:12:21,296 --> 00:12:22,694 Something wrong? 239 00:12:22,699 --> 00:12:25,248 Dang it. You know what? 240 00:12:25,253 --> 00:12:27,131 I think I left something in my car. 241 00:12:27,136 --> 00:12:29,490 Well, by all means, go get it. 242 00:12:30,309 --> 00:12:31,686 Oh. 243 00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,674 Thank you. 244 00:13:09,671 --> 00:13:10,846 Oh, God. 245 00:13:11,249 --> 00:13:13,451 What the hell was I thinking? 246 00:13:13,701 --> 00:13:15,050 There you are. 247 00:13:15,397 --> 00:13:16,965 Sneaking in through the back? 248 00:13:16,970 --> 00:13:19,929 Uh, kind of. 249 00:13:20,225 --> 00:13:22,069 I wasn't sure you'd come. 250 00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:26,283 Well, when the law tells you to show up someplace, you do it. 251 00:13:26,498 --> 00:13:28,068 I like you. 252 00:13:28,073 --> 00:13:29,858 You want something to drink? 253 00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:33,508 Are you trying to ply me with liquor or something? 254 00:13:34,553 --> 00:13:35,733 Maybe. 255 00:13:37,361 --> 00:13:40,121 No need, officer. I-I confess. 256 00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:45,131 - Two vodka sodas. - Coming up. 257 00:13:45,136 --> 00:13:47,201 Is one of those for m... I like beer. 258 00:13:47,206 --> 00:13:49,389 Mm, you think you like beer. 259 00:13:49,394 --> 00:13:51,918 You just need to broaden your horizons. 260 00:13:53,991 --> 00:13:55,795 Right. 261 00:13:57,084 --> 00:13:59,131 So you wanted to talk to me. 262 00:13:59,638 --> 00:14:01,422 What? 263 00:14:01,662 --> 00:14:04,099 You... You said that you wanted to talk to me, 264 00:14:04,104 --> 00:14:05,186 like you had some questions... 265 00:14:05,191 --> 00:14:08,170 Yeah, I mean, siblings, favorite movies, pets, 266 00:14:08,175 --> 00:14:10,701 just kind of your typical first-date questionnaire. 267 00:14:10,706 --> 00:14:13,666 Though I'm always up for going straight to childhood trauma. 268 00:14:15,332 --> 00:14:17,561 Here you go. Two vodka sodas. 269 00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:25,572 I am gonna need this. 270 00:14:28,089 --> 00:14:29,308 Oh. 271 00:14:29,313 --> 00:14:32,279 That'll grow on you. Trust me. 272 00:14:35,272 --> 00:14:36,795 - He's not coming. - He's coming. 273 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:37,951 - Of course he's coming. - I know he's not coming. 274 00:14:37,956 --> 00:14:39,827 Then why'd I text him 14 times and no responses? 275 00:14:39,832 --> 00:14:41,268 Will you not be an idiot? Of course he's coming. 276 00:14:41,273 --> 00:14:42,622 He would never miss this. 277 00:14:42,627 --> 00:14:44,412 We did a double pinky promise and everything. 278 00:14:45,342 --> 00:14:48,733 Oh, there he is, the birthday boy. 279 00:14:48,745 --> 00:14:52,009 Hey, everybody, this old son-of-a-gun's my best friend. 280 00:14:52,185 --> 00:14:53,463 Mine! 281 00:14:53,468 --> 00:14:55,454 They know, man. They know. 282 00:14:55,459 --> 00:14:57,709 So the big three-six, huh, Kev? 283 00:14:57,714 --> 00:14:59,580 You beat Jesus by three years. 284 00:14:59,585 --> 00:15:02,451 Yeah, plus I got way better abs. 285 00:15:03,470 --> 00:15:05,498 We were, uh, getting a little nervous, Kev. 286 00:15:05,503 --> 00:15:07,984 I thought maybe you were gonna stand us up. 287 00:15:07,989 --> 00:15:10,644 Were... Were you doing something fun, or...? 288 00:15:10,649 --> 00:15:13,303 Well, it's never fun breaking it to Allison 289 00:15:13,308 --> 00:15:15,123 that she's gotta stay home all night. 290 00:15:15,128 --> 00:15:17,733 Definitely not invited to my birthday. 291 00:15:17,738 --> 00:15:19,061 - No sir. - Oh, yeah. 292 00:15:19,066 --> 00:15:21,111 The human weighted blanket. 293 00:15:21,341 --> 00:15:23,865 More like the human wetted blanket. 294 00:15:23,870 --> 00:15:25,349 Not today. 295 00:15:25,354 --> 00:15:28,022 I said today belongs to Neil 296 00:15:28,027 --> 00:15:30,537 and the one thing that'll bring us closer... 297 00:15:30,542 --> 00:15:33,154 A giant foam cowboy hat. 298 00:15:33,536 --> 00:15:35,631 She's beautiful. 299 00:15:36,685 --> 00:15:41,254 So, uh, Neil, you brought the tickets, right, buddy? 300 00:15:41,259 --> 00:15:43,894 Pulled them out of the safety deposit box this morning. 301 00:15:44,397 --> 00:15:46,545 Five years' worth. 302 00:15:46,550 --> 00:15:49,248 We're only 200 shy of the promised land. 303 00:15:49,253 --> 00:15:51,284 So should we hit the appetizer zone now 304 00:15:51,289 --> 00:15:52,589 and start to build our strength up? 305 00:15:52,594 --> 00:15:54,727 Hell yes. Neil, you know what to do. 306 00:15:54,732 --> 00:15:56,168 Poppers and sticks, salsa and chips, 307 00:15:56,173 --> 00:15:57,690 weenies and wings, taters and rings. 308 00:15:57,695 --> 00:15:59,120 Coming right up. 309 00:15:59,744 --> 00:16:01,956 Garckon? 310 00:16:05,384 --> 00:16:06,525 Don't miss. 311 00:16:06,530 --> 00:16:08,663 Don't talk to me while I'm doing it. 312 00:16:08,668 --> 00:16:10,260 Okay, go ahead. 313 00:16:10,265 --> 00:16:11,878 Okay. 314 00:16:13,672 --> 00:16:15,050 Oh! 315 00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:17,740 I'm sorry. 316 00:16:17,745 --> 00:16:20,139 I didn't realize you were so competitive. 317 00:16:20,205 --> 00:16:21,772 It's fine. 318 00:16:21,777 --> 00:16:23,561 Do you want me to go out into the parking lot 319 00:16:23,566 --> 00:16:26,091 and try to find your dart, so you can throw it again? 320 00:16:26,096 --> 00:16:29,159 Ridgeway, I figured you, uh... You'd be over here. 321 00:16:29,164 --> 00:16:31,863 Mm. Fitz, Parker. 322 00:16:31,894 --> 00:16:33,504 This is Patty. 323 00:16:33,509 --> 00:16:35,685 You dragged a civilian to this thing? 324 00:16:35,690 --> 00:16:37,430 That's just cruel. 325 00:16:38,378 --> 00:16:39,729 Nice to meet you. 326 00:16:39,734 --> 00:16:42,084 So you're Tammy's newest recruit, huh? 327 00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:43,539 Good luck. 328 00:16:43,778 --> 00:16:45,315 Lotta wash outs, lately. 329 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:47,349 I will shoot you, Fitz. 330 00:16:47,354 --> 00:16:51,432 It's, um... It's good to meet you. 331 00:17:15,917 --> 00:17:18,643 Boy, we have got to clean out that car. 332 00:17:18,648 --> 00:17:19,870 It's a disaster in there. 333 00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:21,485 Wow, is it? 334 00:17:21,490 --> 00:17:23,477 Well, hopefully, you didn't drop anything else in there 335 00:17:23,482 --> 00:17:25,604 while you were rooting around for the first thing. 336 00:17:25,609 --> 00:17:27,542 I may have. We'll see. 337 00:17:28,132 --> 00:17:29,948 Do you know what you want, or do you need a minute? 338 00:17:29,953 --> 00:17:31,604 Uh, I think we're ready. 339 00:17:31,609 --> 00:17:33,307 I'll probably have something light. 340 00:17:33,312 --> 00:17:35,967 I'm not too hung... Oh, my God. 341 00:17:35,972 --> 00:17:37,339 Sean Avery? 342 00:17:37,344 --> 00:17:39,370 It can't be. Son of a... 343 00:17:39,375 --> 00:17:40,898 Sir? Sir? 344 00:17:40,903 --> 00:17:44,558 Okay, well, um, I will have the chicken marsala, 345 00:17:44,563 --> 00:17:46,043 and he will have the... 346 00:17:46,048 --> 00:17:48,018 Excuse me, do you guys know what's good here? 347 00:17:48,023 --> 00:17:50,128 I'm actually from out of town. 348 00:17:50,333 --> 00:17:52,901 Oh, you... You're from out of town. 349 00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,260 You shouldn't... We don't even... 350 00:17:55,265 --> 00:17:57,224 Star struck, huh? 351 00:17:58,229 --> 00:17:59,760 You must be a fan. 352 00:17:59,765 --> 00:18:01,767 Uh, no. 353 00:18:01,772 --> 00:18:03,237 That's Sean Avery. 354 00:18:03,242 --> 00:18:05,897 He was a dirty loser when he played in the NHL, 355 00:18:05,902 --> 00:18:10,206 and then he had the gall to slander the proud city of Boston 356 00:18:10,211 --> 00:18:12,307 by calling its fans chicken. 357 00:18:12,656 --> 00:18:14,596 It's just a game, pal. 358 00:18:14,601 --> 00:18:17,038 Not to any Boston fan, it's not. 359 00:18:17,043 --> 00:18:19,010 I was just passing through and heard there was 360 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:22,104 some famous meal that's free if you finish it. 361 00:18:22,109 --> 00:18:23,706 The Mighty Moo? 362 00:18:24,215 --> 00:18:26,608 I love a free meal. 363 00:18:26,613 --> 00:18:28,136 Yeah, right. 364 00:18:28,141 --> 00:18:31,279 That's a 32-ounce steak, 2 baked potatoes, 365 00:18:31,284 --> 00:18:33,846 all the fixings, a jumbo shrimp cocktail, 366 00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:35,276 - and a roll. - And a roll. 367 00:18:36,464 --> 00:18:38,096 Couldn't be any bigger than the steaks 368 00:18:38,101 --> 00:18:40,839 I'm used to eating in New York City, right? 369 00:18:41,906 --> 00:18:46,258 Waiter, one Mighty Moo. 370 00:18:46,263 --> 00:18:47,786 Yes, sir. 371 00:18:48,018 --> 00:18:49,800 The nerve. 372 00:18:49,805 --> 00:18:51,763 I should show that jerk how we eat in New England. 373 00:18:51,768 --> 00:18:54,040 Kevin, don't. Look at him, okay? 374 00:18:54,315 --> 00:18:56,354 He works out, okay? 375 00:18:56,359 --> 00:18:57,827 You can't eat all that. 376 00:18:57,832 --> 00:18:59,167 Did you just... 377 00:18:59,172 --> 00:19:01,174 You really think I can't out-eat that pretty boy? 378 00:19:01,179 --> 00:19:02,267 No, that's not what I meant. 379 00:19:02,272 --> 00:19:04,363 You just said that you weren't hungry. 380 00:19:04,368 --> 00:19:07,456 Well, suddenly, my appetite has returned. 381 00:19:07,822 --> 00:19:10,520 Garckon, I've made a decision. 382 00:19:10,845 --> 00:19:12,985 I'll have what he's having... 383 00:19:13,425 --> 00:19:15,253 To eat for dinner. 384 00:19:16,482 --> 00:19:18,413 And in the name of the father, Belichick, 385 00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:20,438 the son, Edelman, and the holy spirit, 386 00:19:20,443 --> 00:19:22,968 retired nose tackle and beloved locker-room presence 387 00:19:22,973 --> 00:19:27,438 Vince Wilfork, I vow to win this eating contest. 388 00:19:27,857 --> 00:19:29,602 Two Mighty Moos. 389 00:19:29,607 --> 00:19:30,923 I'll let the kitchen know. 390 00:19:30,928 --> 00:19:32,059 Very good. 391 00:19:32,079 --> 00:19:36,257 Also, I left something in my car. 392 00:19:45,137 --> 00:19:47,063 God. 393 00:19:48,099 --> 00:19:50,532 God, pick up. Pick up. 394 00:19:52,732 --> 00:19:54,868 You need to get that? 395 00:19:57,526 --> 00:19:58,626 Hello? 396 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,384 Patty, he's here. 397 00:20:00,389 --> 00:20:02,157 I saw him. Nick. 398 00:20:02,346 --> 00:20:03,501 What? 399 00:20:03,506 --> 00:20:05,227 Nick is here. 400 00:20:06,087 --> 00:20:07,923 Y-You got to speak up, hon. 401 00:20:07,928 --> 00:20:09,538 I can't hear a thing. 402 00:20:09,737 --> 00:20:11,548 Nick is here. 403 00:20:11,553 --> 00:20:12,946 I'm freaking out. 404 00:20:12,951 --> 00:20:14,425 He can't do it here in the open. 405 00:20:14,430 --> 00:20:16,579 He realizes that, right? That's insane? 406 00:20:16,584 --> 00:20:18,325 Uh-huh. 407 00:20:18,609 --> 00:20:20,605 "Uh-huh"? Wha... 408 00:20:20,774 --> 00:20:22,000 Why is it so loud? 409 00:20:22,005 --> 00:20:23,938 I thought... I thought you stayed in to watch a movie. 410 00:20:23,943 --> 00:20:28,483 No, I-I'm at the movies, getting a lot of... 411 00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,970 Getting a lot of dirty looks, too. 412 00:20:30,975 --> 00:20:32,759 No phones, you know? 413 00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:34,592 Okay, okay, well, just go outside 414 00:20:34,597 --> 00:20:35,673 at the next boring part, okay? 415 00:20:35,678 --> 00:20:37,245 It's important. 416 00:20:37,666 --> 00:20:39,407 Oh, God damn. 417 00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,327 Okay, call me back. 418 00:20:41,930 --> 00:20:44,016 I thought that was you. So funny. 419 00:20:44,021 --> 00:20:46,071 Oh, so funny. 420 00:20:46,422 --> 00:20:47,934 Mm. 421 00:20:47,954 --> 00:20:50,809 When we came in, I said, um, "That's Addison." 422 00:20:50,814 --> 00:20:52,120 Allison. 423 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,337 No. 424 00:20:53,342 --> 00:20:54,501 Yep. 425 00:20:54,506 --> 00:20:56,704 Why did I think it was Addison? 426 00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:59,836 It's a better name. 427 00:20:59,857 --> 00:21:02,120 Uh, no way. Allison's classic. 428 00:21:06,951 --> 00:21:09,493 - Welp, good to see you. - Mm-hmm. 429 00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:13,868 Hey, um, why don't you come join us for a drink? 430 00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,329 No. I'm great. 431 00:21:15,334 --> 00:21:16,465 Oh, come on. Just one drink. 432 00:21:16,470 --> 00:21:17,645 Mnh-mnh, no. I-I don't... 433 00:21:17,650 --> 00:21:19,130 Please. 434 00:21:19,169 --> 00:21:21,345 I'll be mad if you don't. 435 00:21:25,393 --> 00:21:27,047 Lead the way. 436 00:21:31,271 --> 00:21:33,577 Manager to the junior ball pit. 437 00:21:33,582 --> 00:21:35,192 Manager to the junior BP, please. 438 00:21:35,197 --> 00:21:37,579 Alright, I know I said I'd spend the rest of the night here, 439 00:21:37,584 --> 00:21:39,634 but I actually have to split time with the restaurant. 440 00:21:39,639 --> 00:21:42,727 What could possibly be as important as the cowboy hat? 441 00:21:43,266 --> 00:21:44,863 Only eating the Mighty Moo 442 00:21:44,868 --> 00:21:47,418 and defeating NHL legend Sean Avery 443 00:21:47,423 --> 00:21:49,798 in the name of Boston sports. 444 00:21:49,803 --> 00:21:52,828 Wait, did you say the Mighty Moo? 445 00:21:52,833 --> 00:21:54,134 Yeah. 446 00:21:54,139 --> 00:21:56,673 That's a 32-ounce steak, 2 baked potatoes 447 00:21:56,678 --> 00:21:59,443 with all the fixings, a jumbo shrimp cocktail, 448 00:21:59,448 --> 00:22:00,805 - and a roll. - And a roll. 449 00:22:01,315 --> 00:22:03,134 A big-boy meal. 450 00:22:03,139 --> 00:22:05,511 And Allison thought I couldn't finish it. 451 00:22:05,850 --> 00:22:07,382 But I've got a plan. 452 00:22:07,387 --> 00:22:10,413 I set an alarm on my phone to remind me to switch locations. 453 00:22:10,418 --> 00:22:13,160 I just... I need your help distracting Neil. 454 00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,731 Yeah, I can do that. 455 00:22:21,743 --> 00:22:23,483 This way, we'll win the tickets, 456 00:22:23,488 --> 00:22:25,397 we'll get the hat, we'll take the photo, 457 00:22:25,402 --> 00:22:27,796 and I can also win the steak-eating contest. 458 00:22:27,801 --> 00:22:29,772 Order up for Neil. 459 00:22:29,777 --> 00:22:31,522 You really think this is gonna work? 460 00:22:31,527 --> 00:22:33,007 Of course it'll work. 461 00:22:33,012 --> 00:22:35,102 As long as I don't eat anything while I'm here. 462 00:22:35,107 --> 00:22:37,414 Happy birthday, best buddy. 463 00:22:37,747 --> 00:22:40,155 We ordered 36 of everything. 464 00:22:41,179 --> 00:22:42,749 Your dad's idea. 465 00:22:51,500 --> 00:22:53,311 - What a nice evening. - Yeah. 466 00:22:53,316 --> 00:22:55,666 Just a book and a glass of wine. 467 00:22:55,671 --> 00:22:57,421 So peaceful. 468 00:22:57,426 --> 00:23:00,280 But I know I'd get too self-conscious. 469 00:23:00,285 --> 00:23:02,200 God, I can't even go to a workout class alone. 470 00:23:02,205 --> 00:23:04,250 Oh, well, no, I'm actually... 471 00:23:04,255 --> 00:23:06,039 I'm here for my husband's birthday. 472 00:23:06,044 --> 00:23:08,100 He's just grabbing something from the car. 473 00:23:08,105 --> 00:23:09,804 Oh, that's so nice. 474 00:23:09,809 --> 00:23:11,289 I'd love to meet him. 475 00:23:11,479 --> 00:23:12,958 Oh, Jenn, you would love him. 476 00:23:12,963 --> 00:23:15,661 He is... He is, uh, a lot of laughs. 477 00:23:15,954 --> 00:23:19,352 Well, this is the only place in town for a real occasion, right? 478 00:23:19,477 --> 00:23:22,946 Sam and I had our... our first date here. 479 00:23:22,951 --> 00:23:24,727 Yeah, yeah. 480 00:23:24,732 --> 00:23:26,777 It's our first time back in a while. 481 00:23:26,938 --> 00:23:29,506 Makes me feel like I'm 17 again. 482 00:23:33,244 --> 00:23:35,638 Well, I hated being 17. 483 00:23:35,979 --> 00:23:37,602 Oh, my God. Me, too. 484 00:23:37,607 --> 00:23:40,306 You could not pay me to go back to high school. 485 00:23:42,769 --> 00:23:44,727 By the way, I love your blouse. 486 00:23:44,732 --> 00:23:46,391 I mean, I'm always terrified to wear white. 487 00:23:46,396 --> 00:23:47,992 Well, just Shout Wipes. 488 00:23:47,997 --> 00:23:49,157 Little... Little miracles. 489 00:23:49,162 --> 00:23:52,399 So I'm just gonna, uh... Just... little girls' room. 490 00:24:38,086 --> 00:24:40,343 Num-num-num-num-num-num-num. 491 00:24:46,573 --> 00:24:48,266 Hey, Kev, what gives? 492 00:24:48,271 --> 00:24:51,172 I know the Wing King of Worcester can't be stuffed already. 493 00:24:52,008 --> 00:24:55,539 Maybe... Maybe we should eat in shifts. 494 00:24:55,544 --> 00:24:58,417 That way, one of us can always be out playing games. 495 00:24:58,581 --> 00:25:01,236 Play games on an empty stomach? 496 00:25:01,241 --> 00:25:03,373 Leaving our Skee-Ball tosses weak, lifeless, 497 00:25:03,378 --> 00:25:05,617 and unable to reach the hundo hole? 498 00:25:07,593 --> 00:25:08,858 You're right. 499 00:25:08,863 --> 00:25:12,053 We need to eat this stuff twice as fast as we normally do. 500 00:25:12,058 --> 00:25:13,616 Come on, Wing King. 501 00:25:13,621 --> 00:25:15,366 It's your time to soar. 502 00:25:16,495 --> 00:25:19,178 For the love of the game. 503 00:25:22,426 --> 00:25:23,908 Aw, that's good. 504 00:25:26,094 --> 00:25:28,350 God, it's so good. 505 00:25:36,474 --> 00:25:38,314 Patty, is that you? 506 00:25:38,319 --> 00:25:40,016 What the hell are you doing here? 507 00:25:40,021 --> 00:25:41,913 Hey, I'm Tammy. 508 00:25:42,873 --> 00:25:46,856 I-I just popped by to say hello on my way to the restroom. 509 00:25:48,215 --> 00:25:51,546 I also have to have to... piss. 510 00:26:02,783 --> 00:26:04,219 How was the movie? 511 00:26:04,224 --> 00:26:06,357 So I had a thing. I didn't want to explain it. 512 00:26:06,362 --> 00:26:07,975 It's not a big deal. 513 00:26:07,980 --> 00:26:09,416 Are you drunk? 514 00:26:10,029 --> 00:26:11,291 No. 515 00:26:11,296 --> 00:26:12,421 What the hell, Patty? 516 00:26:12,426 --> 00:26:14,611 Didn't you even hear me say that Nick is here tonight? 517 00:26:14,616 --> 00:26:16,569 Like, the Nick at Kevin's birthday party? 518 00:26:16,574 --> 00:26:17,686 What if he tries to do it here? 519 00:26:17,691 --> 00:26:19,632 Oh, don't be dramatic. He's not gonna do it here. 520 00:26:19,637 --> 00:26:22,960 - That's crazy. - Yeah, well, Patty, he is crazy. 521 00:26:23,132 --> 00:26:24,931 "It's good that he's unhinged," remember? 522 00:26:24,936 --> 00:26:27,243 Yeah, and he got away with killing his stepdad. 523 00:26:27,248 --> 00:26:28,389 He's crazy, not brain-dead. 524 00:26:28,394 --> 00:26:30,657 He's not gonna do it in a restaurant full of witnesses. 525 00:26:31,850 --> 00:26:33,475 Maybe I should talk to him. 526 00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,712 - What? - Well, just so that he understands 527 00:26:35,717 --> 00:26:38,046 - that this is not what... - Allison, no. 528 00:26:38,051 --> 00:26:39,966 The guy got away with murder. 529 00:26:39,971 --> 00:26:41,663 Stop pissing him off. 530 00:26:41,668 --> 00:26:42,850 Okay. 531 00:26:45,166 --> 00:26:47,124 - If I just... - Shut up. 532 00:26:48,215 --> 00:26:50,147 It's up to him now. 533 00:26:50,340 --> 00:26:51,776 You know? 534 00:26:51,781 --> 00:26:53,803 You got what you wanted, right? 535 00:26:54,278 --> 00:26:56,639 Plane's taking off. You got your pilot. 536 00:26:57,803 --> 00:26:59,857 I lied. Okay? 537 00:26:59,862 --> 00:27:02,249 I was terrified the entire flight, 538 00:27:02,254 --> 00:27:04,953 and now I'm starting to think that you chose the wrong pilot. 539 00:27:04,958 --> 00:27:06,444 I chose? 540 00:27:06,449 --> 00:27:08,413 You made it clear you were doing this no matter what, 541 00:27:08,418 --> 00:27:10,290 so I made the best move that I could. 542 00:27:10,295 --> 00:27:12,593 Now you're all shocked that it's a little bit messy. 543 00:27:12,598 --> 00:27:15,296 Well, guess what, Allison. You're asking for messy. 544 00:27:15,301 --> 00:27:17,303 You're begging for it. 545 00:27:18,589 --> 00:27:19,983 No, no, no. 546 00:27:19,988 --> 00:27:21,405 You're right. You're right. 547 00:27:21,410 --> 00:27:23,944 I am the one taking dumb risks. 548 00:27:24,202 --> 00:27:26,291 So why don't you just go back out there 549 00:27:26,296 --> 00:27:29,218 to the Worcester PD dart league or whatever the hell that is. 550 00:27:29,223 --> 00:27:32,413 Okay, I... I'm out with one cop, 551 00:27:32,418 --> 00:27:34,942 and it's actually very good for us. 552 00:27:35,428 --> 00:27:36,809 What are you talking about? 553 00:27:36,814 --> 00:27:38,452 Detective Ridgeway is the one who's been 554 00:27:38,457 --> 00:27:41,285 coming around the salon, asking all those questions. 555 00:27:41,290 --> 00:27:44,005 So you're getting drunk with her as a precaution, or... 556 00:27:44,010 --> 00:27:45,975 Yes. No. I-I mean... 557 00:27:47,420 --> 00:27:48,741 When she wanted to get together, 558 00:27:48,746 --> 00:27:50,922 I thought that she was gonna grill me again, 559 00:27:50,927 --> 00:27:53,973 but sh-she likes me. 560 00:27:53,978 --> 00:27:56,981 So we can use that. 561 00:27:58,944 --> 00:28:00,380 Is this a date? 562 00:28:01,371 --> 00:28:02,371 No. 563 00:28:02,376 --> 00:28:04,257 - Well, you just said that... - It's not a real date. 564 00:28:04,262 --> 00:28:06,046 It's just... I-I think... 565 00:28:06,051 --> 00:28:08,220 It's just... It's not a real date. 566 00:28:08,225 --> 00:28:10,384 Okay, Jesus Christ. What the hell is happening? 567 00:28:10,389 --> 00:28:12,565 Hi. How are ya? 568 00:28:13,584 --> 00:28:15,586 Have a great dinner. 569 00:28:17,971 --> 00:28:20,100 You go handle your own shit. 570 00:28:20,677 --> 00:28:22,505 I'm fine. 571 00:28:22,611 --> 00:28:24,134 Patty, come... 572 00:28:26,226 --> 00:28:28,271 Damn it. 573 00:28:41,940 --> 00:28:46,110 - I was just in the restroom. - I was just in my car. 574 00:28:53,146 --> 00:28:56,279 Hey, his steak looks a little small. 575 00:28:56,713 --> 00:29:00,194 Guess I should've expected cheating from a Boston fan. 576 00:29:01,264 --> 00:29:03,962 Uh, waiter, there seems to be a mistake. 577 00:29:03,967 --> 00:29:06,468 This man should not have any cups near him 578 00:29:06,473 --> 00:29:08,693 since he couldn't win one while he played. 579 00:29:10,705 --> 00:29:12,223 The Stanley Cup is a hockey thing... 580 00:29:12,228 --> 00:29:14,522 No, I, uh... I got it. I understand. 581 00:29:15,273 --> 00:29:17,522 Hey, Kev, um, maybe we should get out of here. 582 00:29:17,527 --> 00:29:19,038 I-I'm starting to come down with something. 583 00:29:19,043 --> 00:29:21,585 Allison, there are three days out of the year 584 00:29:21,590 --> 00:29:23,468 when only I'm allowed to get sick. 585 00:29:23,473 --> 00:29:25,819 My birthday, St. Patrick's Day... 586 00:29:25,824 --> 00:29:27,936 And the day after St. Patrick's Day. 587 00:29:28,667 --> 00:29:30,756 Listen to your wife, pal. 588 00:29:30,761 --> 00:29:32,806 She's trying to bail you out. 589 00:29:32,811 --> 00:29:35,374 - Yeah, Kev... - No. No. 590 00:29:35,970 --> 00:29:38,712 This man belittled the city that I love. 591 00:29:38,717 --> 00:29:40,874 If I let him get away with that, 592 00:29:40,879 --> 00:29:43,147 I'll never be able to look in the mirror again. 593 00:29:43,152 --> 00:29:45,256 And if I can't look in the mirror, 594 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:47,764 then I can't shave. 595 00:29:50,788 --> 00:29:52,577 Here we go. 596 00:29:55,299 --> 00:29:57,084 Your time starts now. 597 00:30:00,741 --> 00:30:02,177 That was weird. 598 00:30:02,196 --> 00:30:04,296 They just handed him his knife. 599 00:30:21,342 --> 00:30:23,474 Can I get you another drink? 600 00:30:23,707 --> 00:30:25,468 I was just about to get one myself. 601 00:30:26,287 --> 00:30:29,186 Oh. Sure. 602 00:30:30,983 --> 00:30:33,491 Uh, who was your friend from earlier? 603 00:30:34,223 --> 00:30:36,561 Just my nosy-ass neighbor. 604 00:30:36,566 --> 00:30:38,568 She was kind of rude. 605 00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:42,585 Hey! 606 00:30:43,402 --> 00:30:46,116 I'll take a beer and whatever sort of vodka thing she wants. 607 00:30:46,121 --> 00:30:47,775 You got it. 608 00:30:48,189 --> 00:30:51,585 Did she say something to you, o-or... 609 00:30:51,590 --> 00:30:54,288 No, it... it's fine. 610 00:30:54,556 --> 00:30:56,061 I'm fine. 611 00:30:57,240 --> 00:30:59,249 Got it. 612 00:31:11,434 --> 00:31:13,093 He just keeps eating. 613 00:31:13,098 --> 00:31:15,694 He's like the Cookie Monster but with steak. 614 00:31:16,249 --> 00:31:18,663 He's like the Cookie Steak Monster. 615 00:31:19,530 --> 00:31:22,608 Wouldn't that just be the Steak Monster? 616 00:31:23,328 --> 00:31:25,226 Whose side are you on? 617 00:31:25,231 --> 00:31:28,364 This is a time to support me, not correct me. 618 00:31:30,230 --> 00:31:32,711 Oh, boy. Hoo, boy. 619 00:31:32,833 --> 00:31:35,139 I feel the meat sweats kicking in. 620 00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:38,639 Hey, uh, why don't I go get some more napkins? 621 00:31:39,524 --> 00:31:40,697 For your meat sweats. 622 00:31:40,702 --> 00:31:42,248 Oh, thank you. 623 00:31:42,253 --> 00:31:43,602 Now, that's supportive. 624 00:31:43,607 --> 00:31:45,087 See? It's not so hard. 625 00:31:45,092 --> 00:31:46,889 Hey. 626 00:31:46,894 --> 00:31:50,116 We just wanted to come and meet the birthday boy. 627 00:31:50,342 --> 00:31:52,079 Oh, why not? 628 00:31:52,810 --> 00:31:56,648 Kevin, this is my new boss, Sam, and his wife. 629 00:31:56,653 --> 00:31:57,991 - Oh, Jenn. - Ah. 630 00:31:58,538 --> 00:32:00,105 Move that hand, lady. 631 00:32:00,110 --> 00:32:02,677 Any limb that enters my designated Munch Zone 632 00:32:02,682 --> 00:32:04,031 may not be returned whole. 633 00:32:04,036 --> 00:32:05,385 Wait a second. 634 00:32:05,390 --> 00:32:06,914 Is that the Mighty Moo? 635 00:32:07,267 --> 00:32:10,038 What do you think, Einstein the Genius? 636 00:32:10,495 --> 00:32:12,116 You didn't need to say "the genius." 637 00:32:12,121 --> 00:32:14,030 The name Einstein implies that on its own. 638 00:32:14,035 --> 00:32:15,080 Hi, guys. Sean Avery. 639 00:32:15,085 --> 00:32:16,696 Nice to meet you. 640 00:32:16,993 --> 00:32:20,366 Oh, my God. I am a huge fan. 641 00:32:22,509 --> 00:32:24,947 Jenn, you're a... You're a Rangers fan? 642 00:32:25,585 --> 00:32:28,680 I also love the Giants and the Knicks. 643 00:32:30,692 --> 00:32:31,952 In New England? 644 00:32:31,957 --> 00:32:35,600 That... Jenn, you are a riddle wrapped in a mystery. 645 00:32:37,262 --> 00:32:40,787 Ah, I just heart N-Y, you know? 646 00:32:41,412 --> 00:32:44,350 And I heart meeting locals. 647 00:32:48,693 --> 00:32:50,172 Oh, my God. He's choking. 648 00:32:50,177 --> 00:32:52,092 Oh, no. 649 00:32:57,366 --> 00:32:59,374 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 650 00:32:59,379 --> 00:33:01,116 You saved my life. 651 00:33:01,121 --> 00:33:02,350 Thank you. 652 00:33:02,355 --> 00:33:04,760 I... I... 653 00:33:06,116 --> 00:33:08,425 I left something in my car. 654 00:33:12,418 --> 00:33:13,663 Allison? 655 00:33:13,668 --> 00:33:15,191 You okay, sweetie? 656 00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:18,390 Yeah. Thank you. Sorry. 657 00:33:20,410 --> 00:33:25,288 Um, I should just go and clean my blouse. 658 00:33:28,703 --> 00:33:30,574 Nick, Nick. 659 00:33:32,796 --> 00:33:34,606 Something wrong with your table? 660 00:33:34,811 --> 00:33:37,257 No, stop. I need you to listen to me. Okay? 661 00:33:37,262 --> 00:33:39,077 I'm just a busboy. Really. 662 00:33:39,082 --> 00:33:41,171 So you definitely shouldn't be talking to me. 663 00:33:41,176 --> 00:33:44,571 Hey, I just need to know we're on the same page. 664 00:33:44,576 --> 00:33:46,194 - What did I ju... - Allison. 665 00:33:46,199 --> 00:33:47,331 Oh. 666 00:33:47,336 --> 00:33:48,585 Is there a problem? 667 00:33:48,590 --> 00:33:50,147 No. 668 00:33:50,819 --> 00:33:52,124 Things okay, here? 669 00:33:52,129 --> 00:33:53,870 Oh, Jesus, Sam. 670 00:33:54,678 --> 00:33:57,819 Hey, she's all yours, bro. 671 00:33:58,392 --> 00:34:00,780 No, wait. Shit. 672 00:34:00,785 --> 00:34:02,178 Sam, what are you doing? 673 00:34:02,183 --> 00:34:04,925 What I... Who the hell was that? 674 00:34:04,938 --> 00:34:06,897 That was s-some guy from our neighborhood 675 00:34:06,902 --> 00:34:08,251 who has a problem with Kevin. 676 00:34:08,256 --> 00:34:09,823 Imagine that. 677 00:34:10,052 --> 00:34:12,141 I had it. Okay? I'm fine. 678 00:34:12,146 --> 00:34:16,585 So you can just go back to... to Jenn. 679 00:34:16,590 --> 00:34:18,418 Yeah, I knew it. 680 00:34:18,423 --> 00:34:20,155 You don't get to be mad about Jenn. 681 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:21,771 Oh, don't I? 682 00:34:22,491 --> 00:34:25,232 We worked together like two hours ago, 683 00:34:25,237 --> 00:34:26,927 and this is the small thing you had after work tonight? 684 00:34:26,932 --> 00:34:28,028 Well, your perfect, special night 685 00:34:28,033 --> 00:34:29,700 is your husband's birthday. 686 00:34:30,820 --> 00:34:32,909 Okay, fine. 687 00:34:34,005 --> 00:34:35,982 Doesn't that make this even, then? 688 00:34:36,963 --> 00:34:41,142 No. Because I'm not the one who created this situation. 689 00:34:41,147 --> 00:34:42,453 You wanted it this way. 690 00:34:42,458 --> 00:34:44,852 Oh, oh, like I forced you? 691 00:34:44,857 --> 00:34:46,250 No, you didn't force me, 692 00:34:46,255 --> 00:34:47,996 but you decide when we're friends 693 00:34:48,001 --> 00:34:50,221 or not speaking or having sex in the back room. 694 00:34:50,226 --> 00:34:52,577 It's what you want. You're always in control. 695 00:34:54,763 --> 00:34:56,263 I'm sorry. 696 00:34:56,275 --> 00:34:59,191 You think I'm ever in control of anything? 697 00:35:00,075 --> 00:35:04,009 Yeah, Allison, I know you are. 698 00:35:04,434 --> 00:35:06,676 You should, too. 699 00:35:29,333 --> 00:35:31,895 Ugh! I need... I need tickets. 700 00:35:33,519 --> 00:35:35,301 Kid, kid, come here. 701 00:35:35,306 --> 00:35:37,004 This is your lucky night. 702 00:35:37,009 --> 00:35:40,089 Give me those tickets and like 20 bucks change. 703 00:35:40,094 --> 00:35:41,184 Are you crazy? 704 00:35:41,189 --> 00:35:43,061 These babies are gonna keep me in gum balls 705 00:35:43,066 --> 00:35:44,989 and spider rings till I go to college. 706 00:35:44,994 --> 00:35:46,512 Screw off. 707 00:35:47,692 --> 00:35:49,836 Screw off? 708 00:35:56,559 --> 00:35:58,794 - There you are, Kev. - We were worried sick. 709 00:35:58,799 --> 00:36:00,528 Yeah, in his case, literally. 710 00:36:00,533 --> 00:36:01,795 Don't look in the ice machine. 711 00:36:01,800 --> 00:36:03,496 Barfed in there. 712 00:36:03,857 --> 00:36:06,250 Well, I have amazing news. 713 00:36:06,255 --> 00:36:08,257 While you two had your thumbs up your hundo holes, 714 00:36:08,262 --> 00:36:10,569 I was stacking simoleons. 715 00:36:10,574 --> 00:36:12,262 Well, that's fine, but thanks to you, 716 00:36:12,267 --> 00:36:14,138 we lost our lucky machine. 717 00:36:14,433 --> 00:36:16,496 Why'd you ditch us? 718 00:36:17,125 --> 00:36:19,278 And why you wearing a tie? 719 00:36:20,832 --> 00:36:23,082 And how come you're all sweaty? 720 00:36:24,059 --> 00:36:26,527 And why do you smell like meat? 721 00:36:27,809 --> 00:36:30,183 Neil, Neil, look, I'm sure... 722 00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:33,192 I'm sure he can answer all those questions in order. 723 00:36:33,197 --> 00:36:34,660 Can't you, Kev? 724 00:36:35,758 --> 00:36:37,465 Of course. 725 00:36:37,470 --> 00:36:39,690 I ditched you because I knew 726 00:36:39,695 --> 00:36:42,254 we would win more tickets if we split up. 727 00:36:42,259 --> 00:36:45,349 My tie represents that partying is my business. 728 00:36:45,361 --> 00:36:48,233 I only put on the tie once I reached maximum groove status 729 00:36:48,238 --> 00:36:50,022 on the "Dance Dance Revolution" machine. 730 00:36:50,027 --> 00:36:55,489 My dancing... my dancing is why I'm so sweaty. 731 00:36:55,494 --> 00:36:57,540 And, of course, that particular machine 732 00:36:57,545 --> 00:36:59,949 happens to be right next to the grill. 733 00:37:00,816 --> 00:37:04,332 And the grill smells like meat. 734 00:37:04,557 --> 00:37:06,559 He covered everything, Neil. 735 00:37:06,953 --> 00:37:08,302 I guess I just thought tonight 736 00:37:08,307 --> 00:37:10,059 was supposed to be about us being together. 737 00:37:10,064 --> 00:37:11,637 Oh, my God. 738 00:37:11,642 --> 00:37:14,067 It is. It is, buddy. 739 00:37:14,072 --> 00:37:20,317 It's about us being together inside a giant foam cowboy hat. 740 00:37:21,403 --> 00:37:23,608 She's beautiful. 741 00:37:23,613 --> 00:37:25,180 You're right. 742 00:37:25,185 --> 00:37:27,013 Somehow I lost sight of that. 743 00:37:28,329 --> 00:37:29,543 What's that? 744 00:37:29,548 --> 00:37:31,849 That's just my, um... It's my, uh... 745 00:37:31,854 --> 00:37:36,364 My ticket alarm to remind me to stay focused. 746 00:37:36,369 --> 00:37:37,936 Ticket alarm? 747 00:37:38,382 --> 00:37:41,036 Of course. Mine rang earlier. 748 00:37:41,041 --> 00:37:42,364 Let's go. 749 00:37:42,532 --> 00:37:44,708 Yeah. Alright. 750 00:37:48,715 --> 00:37:50,070 Come on, big guy. 751 00:37:50,075 --> 00:37:52,221 Send this chump packing, huh? 752 00:37:52,226 --> 00:37:55,660 I can't. It's too much steak. 753 00:37:56,056 --> 00:37:57,285 Forget it, Fitz. 754 00:37:57,290 --> 00:37:59,543 I'm gonna do what I should've done a long time ago. 755 00:37:59,548 --> 00:38:01,220 I'm gonna bet on New York. 756 00:38:02,478 --> 00:38:04,121 What? I'll take that bet. 757 00:38:04,126 --> 00:38:05,518 100 bucks on Kevin. 758 00:38:05,523 --> 00:38:06,814 He won't let me down. 759 00:38:08,565 --> 00:38:10,121 Mmm. 760 00:38:11,400 --> 00:38:15,026 So... good. 761 00:38:17,256 --> 00:38:19,519 And that's a hat trick. 762 00:38:21,158 --> 00:38:23,434 Come on, Kevin. He hasn't swallowed yet. 763 00:38:23,439 --> 00:38:24,606 You... You can still come back. 764 00:38:24,611 --> 00:38:26,746 - Come on, Kevin. Keep chewing. - You got this. 765 00:38:26,751 --> 00:38:28,051 - Don't give up. - Almost there. 766 00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:30,817 - Come on. - Come on, Kevin. 767 00:38:31,394 --> 00:38:33,309 - Focus. - Kevin, wake up. 768 00:38:33,314 --> 00:38:35,465 You have to wake up. 769 00:38:35,816 --> 00:38:37,637 Kevin. 770 00:38:38,485 --> 00:38:40,008 Boston sports legend 771 00:38:40,013 --> 00:38:43,016 and current Celtics TV analyst Brian Scalabrine? 772 00:38:43,097 --> 00:38:44,809 The man who started nine games 773 00:38:44,814 --> 00:38:47,034 for the 2008 championship season? 774 00:38:47,129 --> 00:38:49,087 Is it really you, "White Mamba"? 775 00:38:49,092 --> 00:38:51,280 Yes, it's me. 776 00:38:52,552 --> 00:38:54,249 What are you doing here? 777 00:38:54,254 --> 00:38:56,059 Shouldn't you be surrounded by bikini models 778 00:38:56,064 --> 00:38:57,324 on a friggin' yacht somewhere? 779 00:38:57,329 --> 00:38:58,939 So, normally, I would be, 780 00:38:58,944 --> 00:39:01,903 but this is more important. 781 00:39:01,908 --> 00:39:04,262 This city, it needs me. 782 00:39:04,882 --> 00:39:06,623 And it needs you, too. 783 00:39:06,628 --> 00:39:08,694 You have to wake up, Kevin. 784 00:39:08,981 --> 00:39:10,481 I can't. 785 00:39:10,486 --> 00:39:11,922 I'm too full. 786 00:39:11,927 --> 00:39:13,842 Yes, you can. You have to. 787 00:39:13,847 --> 00:39:15,371 Do it for KG. 788 00:39:15,391 --> 00:39:17,089 Do it for "The Truth." 789 00:39:17,109 --> 00:39:18,589 Or do it for Kendrick Perkins 790 00:39:18,594 --> 00:39:20,770 and his incredibly pointy goatee. 791 00:39:20,922 --> 00:39:23,809 But most of all, do it for yourself. 792 00:39:35,672 --> 00:39:36,887 - Come on. - Do it. 793 00:39:36,892 --> 00:39:38,246 Yankees suck! 794 00:39:38,251 --> 00:39:39,644 Yankees suck! 795 00:39:39,672 --> 00:39:43,621 Yankees suck! Yankees suck! Yankees suck! 796 00:39:50,467 --> 00:39:52,337 You've got a Get Out of Jail Free card in this town 797 00:39:52,342 --> 00:39:53,595 from here on out, buddy. 798 00:39:54,040 --> 00:39:56,876 You deserve this more than I ever did. 799 00:39:57,667 --> 00:39:59,261 I'm sorry I doubted you. 800 00:40:05,475 --> 00:40:08,129 Well, gang, it's been a blast. 801 00:40:08,298 --> 00:40:10,352 Now, if you'll excuse me, 802 00:40:10,357 --> 00:40:13,229 I left something in my car. 803 00:40:19,486 --> 00:40:21,977 Boy, this was one hell of a birthday. 804 00:40:22,727 --> 00:40:25,036 And I love my gift, babe. 805 00:40:25,313 --> 00:40:26,859 I'm glad. 806 00:40:26,902 --> 00:40:28,469 You just got to bring it back tomorrow 807 00:40:28,474 --> 00:40:30,532 and exchange it for the right color. 808 00:40:30,673 --> 00:40:34,547 Simply doesn't get any better than shiny black leather. 809 00:40:34,997 --> 00:40:37,149 Pure class. 810 00:40:42,536 --> 00:40:43,973 Where you off to? 811 00:40:45,510 --> 00:40:47,633 I left something in my car. 812 00:40:54,193 --> 00:40:55,641 Hey. 813 00:40:56,469 --> 00:40:58,210 I like you. 814 00:41:00,063 --> 00:41:01,763 Okay. 815 00:41:01,768 --> 00:41:04,181 So I invited you to this really fun thing, 816 00:41:04,186 --> 00:41:05,623 and you came, 817 00:41:05,628 --> 00:41:07,808 and I think you were having a really good time. 818 00:41:08,173 --> 00:41:09,800 - I mean... - And then your neighbor showed up 819 00:41:09,805 --> 00:41:10,969 and then something changed 820 00:41:10,974 --> 00:41:12,938 and you started acting really shitty. 821 00:41:13,462 --> 00:41:14,837 And usually when someone acts like that, 822 00:41:14,842 --> 00:41:19,454 I write them off, but I like you. 823 00:41:20,828 --> 00:41:22,613 Yeah. 824 00:41:23,078 --> 00:41:24,962 You said that. 825 00:41:26,179 --> 00:41:29,225 So just tell me, you know? 826 00:41:29,672 --> 00:41:31,795 What the hell? 827 00:41:58,876 --> 00:42:00,649 Jesus Christ, lady. You know... 828 00:42:00,654 --> 00:42:01,805 No, shut up. 829 00:42:01,810 --> 00:42:03,464 You listen to me for once. 830 00:42:03,500 --> 00:42:05,806 I'm not sitting around, waiting for you to make your move, okay? 831 00:42:05,811 --> 00:42:08,290 It's too important. You do this? 832 00:42:08,295 --> 00:42:10,641 I need to know what's happening, when it's happening, 833 00:42:10,646 --> 00:42:13,047 and if I don't like it, you don't do it. 834 00:42:13,360 --> 00:42:15,383 - What if I... - Shut up. 835 00:42:15,848 --> 00:42:17,807 You do it my way, 836 00:42:18,100 --> 00:42:20,219 or you don't get the money. 837 00:42:22,073 --> 00:42:23,897 Okay. 838 00:42:26,566 --> 00:42:28,483 Okay. 839 00:42:40,463 --> 00:42:43,463 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 58288

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