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1
00:00:09,701 --> 00:00:12,279
Morning, followers. Gossip Girl here.
2
00:00:12,284 --> 00:00:15,363
Márquez once said,
"We all have three lives.
3
00:00:15,368 --> 00:00:17,664
- A public life, a private life..."
- You have any fun, at least?
4
00:00:17,668 --> 00:00:19,322
- Of course. Always.
- "... and a secret life".
5
00:00:19,326 --> 00:00:21,404
I'm off to Berlin.
I'll be back tomorrow.
6
00:00:21,409 --> 00:00:24,321
- But he left out the most important one.
- Love you, Dad.
7
00:00:24,326 --> 00:00:26,326
Our dating life.
8
00:00:26,993 --> 00:00:28,654
♪ It's a blurry shape... ♪
9
00:00:28,659 --> 00:00:31,521
And ever since JC got ditched by Noble O
10
00:00:31,526 --> 00:00:35,129
for a little Z, she's been
on an international manhunt
11
00:00:35,134 --> 00:00:36,904
for a worthy replacement.
12
00:00:36,909 --> 00:00:38,279
She's gone truffle hunting
13
00:00:38,284 --> 00:00:40,121
with the Italian prime minister's son...
14
00:00:41,951 --> 00:00:45,446
The truffle is a passion, and
you need passion to hunt them.
15
00:00:45,451 --> 00:00:47,238
But this dress is a sample.
16
00:00:47,243 --> 00:00:50,488
... yachting with the last
Shah of Iran's grandson...
17
00:00:50,493 --> 00:00:54,001
Might I invite you to steam
in my huge hammam?
18
00:00:56,993 --> 00:00:58,738
She even shared a green juice
19
00:00:58,743 --> 00:01:00,146
with the Bonus Jonas.
20
00:01:00,151 --> 00:01:01,979
All he could talk about
was how PC told him
21
00:01:01,984 --> 00:01:04,154
he was cuter than Joe
and Kevin combined.
22
00:01:04,159 --> 00:01:06,196
Spies tell us nary a one
23
00:01:06,201 --> 00:01:08,446
wanted a second bite at her apple.
24
00:01:08,451 --> 00:01:09,613
What?
25
00:01:09,618 --> 00:01:13,321
Perhaps this will provide
a temporary balm?
26
00:01:13,326 --> 00:01:16,404
Little Z may occupy
JC's former residence
27
00:01:16,409 --> 00:01:18,279
on the arm of the prince of New York,
28
00:01:18,284 --> 00:01:21,529
but she's definitely not
to the manor born.
29
00:01:21,534 --> 00:01:23,904
Hope the prince doesn't lose interest,
30
00:01:23,909 --> 00:01:27,113
or Little Z may find herself Lonely Z.
31
00:01:27,118 --> 00:01:29,113
Maybe they're sisters after all.
32
00:01:29,118 --> 00:01:32,946
The throne is waiting,
but it won't sit empty for long.
33
00:01:35,409 --> 00:01:36,663
Quelle disaster.
34
00:01:36,668 --> 00:01:39,078
Even Timothée rescinded
his invite to MIPCOM
35
00:01:39,083 --> 00:01:40,120
after seeing these!
36
00:01:40,125 --> 00:01:41,405
You need to stop being so choosey.
37
00:01:41,409 --> 00:01:42,919
Everyone knows the only way to get over
38
00:01:42,923 --> 00:01:44,488
an heir is to get under another one.
39
00:01:44,493 --> 00:01:48,321
I tried. I guess heirs just aren't
as giving as I'm used to.
40
00:01:48,326 --> 00:01:49,529
I didn't like any of them.
41
00:01:49,534 --> 00:01:51,863
You don't have to like them,
you just have to date them.
42
00:01:51,868 --> 00:01:53,230
Jules, I hate to say this to you,
43
00:01:53,234 --> 00:01:54,754
because fuck the patriarchy, right?
44
00:01:54,759 --> 00:01:56,404
But, um, the men always win this.
45
00:01:56,409 --> 00:01:57,888
Brad Pitt is ancient,
46
00:01:57,893 --> 00:02:00,521
yet he wins an Oscar
for showing his desiccated abs,
47
00:02:00,526 --> 00:02:03,879
while a still-prime Angelina
disappears a Disney witch.
48
00:02:03,884 --> 00:02:05,788
Maybe it doesn't have to be about a man?
49
00:02:05,793 --> 00:02:08,129
Millie Bobby Brown
isn't defined by who she dates.
50
00:02:08,134 --> 00:02:10,529
Millie Bobby Brown is pre-sexual.
51
00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:12,738
You need a new Brad
or it's Havisham for you.
52
00:02:12,743 --> 00:02:15,413
- Also, fuck the patriarchy.
- Jules.
53
00:02:15,418 --> 00:02:16,746
- Do you have to pee?
- No.
54
00:02:16,751 --> 00:02:19,326
Oh, me too. Thank you. Bye.
55
00:02:20,868 --> 00:02:22,329
So, if I tell you something,
56
00:02:22,334 --> 00:02:25,029
do you swear on your Loewe
not to tell anyone?
57
00:02:25,034 --> 00:02:26,988
- Did you kill someone?
- Worse.
58
00:02:26,993 --> 00:02:28,638
I may have slept with Max.
59
00:02:28,643 --> 00:02:30,938
- May have or did?
- I did! I did!
60
00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:32,779
I slept with Max!
I slept with Max many times.
61
00:02:32,784 --> 00:02:34,738
What? Why?
62
00:02:34,743 --> 00:02:37,171
When? Basically all
of the interrogatives.
63
00:02:37,176 --> 00:02:39,029
You've known him for a decade. Why now?
64
00:02:39,034 --> 00:02:42,488
I don't know what happened.
Kiki drama? Sexual ennui?
65
00:02:42,493 --> 00:02:45,571
My apparently latent
self-destructive tendencies?
66
00:02:45,576 --> 00:02:50,693
It was one night. One long,
surprisingly informative night,
67
00:02:51,118 --> 00:02:52,779
like, Jules...
68
00:02:52,784 --> 00:02:55,671
- Are you gonna tell Aki?
- I mean, I feel terrible,
69
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,076
but it had nothing to do
with him. I love him.
70
00:02:58,884 --> 00:03:02,404
Until I can give him a reason
for these anomalous actions,
71
00:03:02,409 --> 00:03:04,488
why cause him pain with the truth?
72
00:03:04,493 --> 00:03:06,488
Consider my friend-DA signed.
73
00:03:06,493 --> 00:03:08,446
I just hope Gossip Girl
doesn't find out.
74
00:03:08,451 --> 00:03:10,204
You're right. Now that she's verified,
75
00:03:10,209 --> 00:03:12,446
if she posts it, people
might believe it's true.
76
00:03:12,451 --> 00:03:13,604
It is true.
77
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:16,818
I know! I'm a bad person!
I'm a bad person!
78
00:03:17,343 --> 00:03:18,588
I'm a terrible person.
79
00:03:18,593 --> 00:03:20,004
Why, because you wiped out at LES?
80
00:03:20,009 --> 00:03:22,696
No, but I deserve to.
I'm a terrible person.
81
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:25,738
You are like the last person
to be classified as terrible.
82
00:03:25,743 --> 00:03:28,172
- What if I told you I cheated on Audrey?
- I wouldn't believe you.
83
00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:30,114
What if I told you I may have
made out with someone
84
00:03:30,118 --> 00:03:31,213
other than Audrey?
85
00:03:31,218 --> 00:03:33,493
- You may have or you did?
- I did!
86
00:03:33,951 --> 00:03:35,154
I made out with someone.
87
00:03:35,159 --> 00:03:38,588
Okay, um... Was it a one-time thing,
88
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,821
- or this was a recurring...
- Yes. Never again. Just once.
89
00:03:41,826 --> 00:03:42,863
Okay then, who cares?
90
00:03:42,868 --> 00:03:44,879
I mean, you still want
to be with Audrey, right?
91
00:03:44,884 --> 00:03:46,346
Of course. I love her.
92
00:03:46,351 --> 00:03:47,679
This had nothing to do with her.
93
00:03:47,684 --> 00:03:50,489
Okay, then why cause her the stress
and embarrassment of your fuck-up?
94
00:03:50,493 --> 00:03:52,208
You know what I mean?
95
00:03:52,213 --> 00:03:55,858
Look, if it was a mistake,
just learn from it and move on.
96
00:03:55,863 --> 00:03:57,313
And make sure that whoever she is...
97
00:03:57,318 --> 00:03:58,904
does not kiss and tell.
98
00:04:16,743 --> 00:04:20,154
- That wasn't awkward.
- Shh!
99
00:04:20,159 --> 00:04:23,959
- Gossip Girl could be listening!
- Yeah, she's everywhere.
100
00:04:25,409 --> 00:04:27,763
- Hey. Something's up.
- I know. It's working.
101
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,771
No. Something else. Check your e-mail.
102
00:04:29,776 --> 00:04:32,088
Burton called a mandatory
meeting after school.
103
00:04:32,093 --> 00:04:34,154
- I'm sure it's unrelated.
- I'm not.
104
00:04:36,493 --> 00:04:38,238
Oh, my God. There she is.
105
00:04:38,243 --> 00:04:39,989
She knows?
106
00:04:39,993 --> 00:04:41,229
Taylor, did you see this?
107
00:04:43,243 --> 00:04:45,654
I don't know, I gotta go for Pizza Rat.
108
00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:48,154
♪ News, all bad news lately... ♪
109
00:04:48,159 --> 00:04:52,113
"Who wore it better?
Pizza Face or Pizza Rat?"
110
00:04:52,118 --> 00:04:53,488
Just forget about it, all right?
111
00:04:53,493 --> 00:04:55,196
By the time you refresh, it'll be gone.
112
00:04:55,201 --> 00:04:57,321
Wow, you're right. And now it's a poll.
113
00:04:57,326 --> 00:04:59,279
♪ They all knew... ♪
114
00:04:59,284 --> 00:05:01,764
If it makes you feel any better,
that rat is an iconic New Yorker.
115
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:03,170
Yeah, so is Zora Neale Hurston,
116
00:05:03,175 --> 00:05:04,364
but no one's comparing me to her.
117
00:05:04,368 --> 00:05:07,229
Okay, this is why I stay
off of social media entirely.
118
00:05:07,234 --> 00:05:08,947
Well, you don't even have to.
Whenever you eat,
119
00:05:08,951 --> 00:05:11,029
it looks like a dinner party
in T magazine.
120
00:05:12,201 --> 00:05:15,229
Speaking of dinner, my dad
would like to have you over.
121
00:05:15,234 --> 00:05:17,696
He said since I'm staying at Constance
122
00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:19,229
and I appear to be serious about you,
123
00:05:19,234 --> 00:05:20,489
he'd like to get to know you better.
124
00:05:20,493 --> 00:05:22,071
Um... I'm stuck on "appear to be".
125
00:05:22,076 --> 00:05:24,462
He's a lawyer. It's always
about how it appears to be.
126
00:05:24,467 --> 00:05:26,147
But don't feel obligated to it.
It's just...
127
00:05:26,151 --> 00:05:28,196
No, are you kidding?
I mean, we can't hang out in...
128
00:05:28,201 --> 00:05:30,841
morning runs and free periods
and walks home forever.
129
00:05:30,846 --> 00:05:32,521
I want to take you out on a...
130
00:05:32,526 --> 00:05:34,404
a real date.
131
00:05:34,409 --> 00:05:36,046
And I understand
your dad's apprehension.
132
00:05:36,051 --> 00:05:38,593
So I will bring all the charm
that I own.
133
00:05:39,201 --> 00:05:42,909
♪ Don't assume, assume ♪
134
00:05:45,701 --> 00:05:48,696
- Tragic. Just look at her.
- I can't.
135
00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:51,738
My transition Lapimas don't dim
from daylight to depression.
136
00:05:51,743 --> 00:05:52,904
Yeah, we've worked too hard
137
00:05:52,909 --> 00:05:54,646
to let Julien abdicate without a fight.
138
00:05:54,651 --> 00:05:57,696
I know, but we've tried
every man on the Quest 400 list.
139
00:05:57,701 --> 00:05:58,913
Who's left?
140
00:05:58,918 --> 00:06:01,043
Maybe it isn't about a man.
Maybe it's her.
141
00:06:01,534 --> 00:06:02,895
Are you guys talking about me?
142
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,697
- No. Of course not.
- Totally and completely, yeah.
143
00:06:04,701 --> 00:06:07,991
I don't need you to pile on too,
Max. I'm exhausted.
144
00:06:07,996 --> 00:06:10,115
You want to know why no one
you've been on a date with
145
00:06:10,119 --> 00:06:12,529
wants to get to know you better? Hmm?
146
00:06:12,534 --> 00:06:13,946
It's 'cause they can't.
147
00:06:13,951 --> 00:06:15,738
You're a billboard, not a body.
148
00:06:15,743 --> 00:06:18,196
Curated, untouchable,
willingly filtered by you,
149
00:06:18,201 --> 00:06:21,638
- your stylist and publicist.
- PR representative.
150
00:06:21,643 --> 00:06:23,613
It's like I lost myself somehow.
151
00:06:23,618 --> 00:06:27,746
Which is why I propose
that we find her together.
152
00:06:27,751 --> 00:06:29,779
A Manhattan Maxploration, tonight.
153
00:06:29,784 --> 00:06:31,488
Consider me your White Rabbit.
154
00:06:31,493 --> 00:06:33,888
We're gonna do things
that you've never done before,
155
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,863
in places you have never gone before.
156
00:06:35,868 --> 00:06:38,613
And when we are done,
you are gonna be so real,
157
00:06:38,618 --> 00:06:39,946
that even Obie will remember
158
00:06:39,951 --> 00:06:42,018
why he loved you in the first place.
159
00:06:43,284 --> 00:06:45,946
Audrey can vouch for how good
I am at demolishing inhibitions.
160
00:06:45,951 --> 00:06:48,488
Fine, go out.
161
00:06:48,493 --> 00:06:50,004
But don't worry about how it looks.
162
00:06:50,009 --> 00:06:53,271
Do it for yourself
and do not document it.
163
00:06:53,276 --> 00:06:54,946
- Document it!
- Oh, my God, document it.
164
00:06:54,951 --> 00:06:56,363
You in?
165
00:07:01,034 --> 00:07:03,113
I'm in.
166
00:07:03,118 --> 00:07:04,804
I know you're all curious
167
00:07:04,809 --> 00:07:07,363
why I called this all-hands.
168
00:07:07,368 --> 00:07:10,621
And so I'm just gonna
cut to the chase. Gossip Girl.
169
00:07:10,626 --> 00:07:12,163
I'm sure you're aware of it.
170
00:07:12,168 --> 00:07:15,954
An anonymous Instagram account
that spies on our students
171
00:07:15,959 --> 00:07:17,754
and spreads rumors about them,
172
00:07:17,759 --> 00:07:20,988
students whose parents rather generously
173
00:07:20,993 --> 00:07:23,071
keep the lights on around here.
174
00:07:23,076 --> 00:07:25,029
And many of those parents
are now threatening
175
00:07:25,034 --> 00:07:29,120
to pull their donations
if this situation isn't solved.
176
00:07:29,125 --> 00:07:31,405
- We're dead. Worse than dead.
- My predecessor...
177
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,779
- A Netflix documentary on dead people.
- Jordan.
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00:07:33,784 --> 00:07:36,904
... of a pernicious presence
that would sabotage
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00:07:36,909 --> 00:07:38,904
students' studies,
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00:07:38,909 --> 00:07:41,488
their social lives,
even hijack graduation.
181
00:07:41,493 --> 00:07:42,863
And now it's happening again.
182
00:07:42,868 --> 00:07:44,696
- Vivian, if I may?
- Oh, of course, Linda.
183
00:07:44,701 --> 00:07:48,029
I've found Gossip Girl
surprisingly helpful.
184
00:07:48,034 --> 00:07:51,238
My students have seemed,
I don't know, more mindful
185
00:07:51,243 --> 00:07:53,029
of what they say and...
186
00:07:53,034 --> 00:07:54,746
what they do around each other.
187
00:07:54,751 --> 00:07:57,396
I agree. I'd even go so far as to say
188
00:07:57,401 --> 00:07:59,946
the students are more
respectful to us as well.
189
00:07:59,951 --> 00:08:02,954
With apologies
to my wife and Mr. Caparros,
190
00:08:02,959 --> 00:08:06,529
I firmly disagree.
Gossip Girl is a cancer.
191
00:08:06,534 --> 00:08:09,696
Kids are on their phones
more now than ever.
192
00:08:09,701 --> 00:08:11,113
And in class.
193
00:08:11,118 --> 00:08:14,604
Well, to address Mr. Schacter's
very valid concern,
194
00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:16,154
students will no longer
195
00:08:16,159 --> 00:08:18,696
have access to their phones
during the school day.
196
00:08:18,701 --> 00:08:20,029
That's gonna be bad for business.
197
00:08:20,034 --> 00:08:22,904
And you may have noticed
some new bodies in our halls.
198
00:08:22,909 --> 00:08:25,563
One of our parents
has graciously donated
199
00:08:25,568 --> 00:08:28,071
a consultancy with
an intelligence agency.
200
00:08:28,076 --> 00:08:30,671
They will conduct a swift investigation
201
00:08:30,676 --> 00:08:33,029
to determine the source of our stress.
202
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:35,571
By this time next week,
203
00:08:35,576 --> 00:08:40,571
Gossip Girl must be exposed
and expelled.
204
00:08:40,576 --> 00:08:43,654
Oh, my God, they hired Black Cube!
205
00:08:43,659 --> 00:08:46,738
Let's not panic. We just have
to keep them off our scent.
206
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:49,004
You're all following GG from
your own accounts, right?
207
00:08:49,009 --> 00:08:50,488
Rude, of course we are.
208
00:08:50,493 --> 00:08:54,071
Okay. Then, like the posts
and watch the videos.
209
00:08:54,076 --> 00:08:56,446
A lot of teachers do,
so if you don't, you stand out.
210
00:08:56,451 --> 00:08:59,353
And no DMs from your accounts
to GG ever.
211
00:08:59,358 --> 00:09:01,272
We also shouldn't
post from school, right?
212
00:09:01,276 --> 00:09:03,846
- They could trace it?
- I put a firewall on the server.
213
00:09:03,851 --> 00:09:05,779
As long as you stay
on our Wi-Fi, you're safe.
214
00:09:05,784 --> 00:09:07,446
How can you be so sure?
215
00:09:07,451 --> 00:09:09,454
I'm the computer science teacher.
216
00:09:09,459 --> 00:09:11,962
And don't post during school hours.
217
00:09:11,967 --> 00:09:14,072
Now that kids won't have phones,
it could point towards faculty.
218
00:09:14,076 --> 00:09:16,446
But as soon as the bell rings,
I'll keep the posts flowing.
219
00:09:16,451 --> 00:09:19,279
It would cast more light on us
if we slowed after that meeting.
220
00:09:19,284 --> 00:09:21,196
Maybe mix things up a little?
221
00:09:21,201 --> 00:09:22,904
Shine some of that light on teachers,
222
00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:25,413
make it look more like
it's a disgruntled student?
223
00:09:25,418 --> 00:09:26,979
Got any dirt from the home office?
224
00:09:26,984 --> 00:09:29,779
Ready to get buried?
We can start with the Schacters.
225
00:09:29,784 --> 00:09:32,326
Henry's been having an affair
with Libby the Librarian.
226
00:09:32,784 --> 00:09:33,821
Ooh.
227
00:09:33,826 --> 00:09:35,196
Make that item blind.
228
00:09:35,201 --> 00:09:37,029
Maybe there are more affairs around here
229
00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,279
and we can get some great tips?
230
00:09:39,284 --> 00:09:41,529
They had perfect porcinis
at Eataly today,
231
00:09:41,534 --> 00:09:45,446
so I told Rocky
risotto ai funghi is imperative.
232
00:09:45,451 --> 00:09:48,854
Even though, um, your dad
is doing "keto" again.
233
00:09:48,859 --> 00:09:51,613
Which we both know is a lie.
234
00:09:51,618 --> 00:09:54,488
Oh. There was never
an entrance he didn't make.
235
00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:58,154
- Or a corset he couldn't cinch.
- Oh, this old McQueen?
236
00:09:58,159 --> 00:10:00,488
Your, uh, your hair is different.
237
00:10:00,493 --> 00:10:02,818
Serge gave me a blowout. You like?
238
00:10:03,368 --> 00:10:06,821
It's, um... It's voluminous.
239
00:10:06,826 --> 00:10:09,621
Oh, Rocky, this looks glorious.
240
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:11,863
As do you.
241
00:10:11,868 --> 00:10:13,821
So, where are you off to after this?
242
00:10:13,826 --> 00:10:17,571
Critics preview for
Jeremy O. Harris's new play:
243
00:10:17,576 --> 00:10:18,996
AARON at The Public.
244
00:10:19,001 --> 00:10:21,404
- Mm.
- It's, um...
245
00:10:21,409 --> 00:10:26,393
A very loose adaptation
of Titus Andronicus...
246
00:10:27,534 --> 00:10:29,329
focusing on Aaron the moor.
247
00:10:29,334 --> 00:10:32,696
Gore and genitals?
Save me a full-frontal seat.
248
00:10:32,701 --> 00:10:35,613
I have. Opening's tomorrow night.
249
00:10:35,618 --> 00:10:38,558
There's a ticket block
for all of your friends.
250
00:10:40,409 --> 00:10:42,321
And Pops.
251
00:10:42,326 --> 00:10:44,821
What are you going to do tonight
while I'm at the preview, hon?
252
00:10:44,826 --> 00:10:46,779
Stay home. Working on the plans
253
00:10:46,784 --> 00:10:48,801
for Ina and Jeffrey's hornbeam hedge.
254
00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:54,571
You know, maybe it's best
255
00:10:54,576 --> 00:10:56,118
not to wear that tomorrow night.
256
00:10:59,784 --> 00:11:02,426
Mm! And this is keto.
257
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:06,464
As that essentially forces them
out of this neighborhood
258
00:11:06,468 --> 00:11:08,246
and leaves the area
wide open for developers
259
00:11:08,251 --> 00:11:10,154
who were already circling.
260
00:11:10,159 --> 00:11:11,571
Like your parents?
261
00:11:11,576 --> 00:11:14,071
Yeah, and everybody else
who sees the Navy Yard
262
00:11:14,076 --> 00:11:16,171
as this billion-dollar
waterfront property
263
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,288
and not a neighborhood.
264
00:11:17,293 --> 00:11:19,238
But I think that...
265
00:11:19,243 --> 00:11:23,679
privilege ignores the realities
of systemic issues.
266
00:11:23,684 --> 00:11:26,279
I'm surprised to hear you speak
about your family this way.
267
00:11:26,284 --> 00:11:28,238
Yeah, well, it's nothing
I haven't told them.
268
00:11:28,243 --> 00:11:30,813
And they... they support me.
269
00:11:30,818 --> 00:11:33,451
They want me to remind them,
keep them honest.
270
00:11:34,576 --> 00:11:36,821
- Hey, Z?
- Hmm?
271
00:11:36,826 --> 00:11:38,404
Feel like joining the conversation?
272
00:11:38,409 --> 00:11:40,871
I'm... I'm sorry. I...
I know I'm being rude.
273
00:11:40,876 --> 00:11:43,029
It's just, I'm trending.
274
00:11:43,034 --> 00:11:46,518
Or at least, the hashtag "Zugly" is.
275
00:11:47,076 --> 00:11:48,613
It's Luna La.
276
00:11:48,618 --> 00:11:50,418
- She started it.
- How do you know?
277
00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:54,779
"Hey Ju-lions! Let's get
the hashtag 'Zugly' trending".
278
00:11:54,784 --> 00:11:57,312
It's all so toxic.
I tried to tell Julien
279
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:59,447
that social media
was ruining her life...
280
00:11:59,451 --> 00:12:01,579
How about we put away our phones...
281
00:12:01,584 --> 00:12:05,571
and discuss how much I'm enjoying
282
00:12:05,576 --> 00:12:06,909
getting to know Obie here?
283
00:12:07,868 --> 00:12:10,863
Are you, um, are you enjoying it enough
284
00:12:10,868 --> 00:12:13,529
to consider letting us
go on a real date?
285
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:14,613
- Not yet.
- Okay.
286
00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:18,076
But, you know, getting closer.
287
00:12:38,159 --> 00:12:39,534
- Sorry.
- What's wrong?
288
00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:42,293
Just not into eye contact tonight.
289
00:12:49,868 --> 00:12:51,618
Yeah!
290
00:12:53,284 --> 00:12:54,284
Keep going!
291
00:12:55,618 --> 00:12:56,618
Keep going!
292
00:13:01,701 --> 00:13:03,709
- Whoa!
- Oh, sorry.
293
00:13:04,701 --> 00:13:07,446
No. Just wasn't expecting that...
294
00:13:07,451 --> 00:13:10,109
- I guess I overshot.
- By a lot.
295
00:13:14,284 --> 00:13:15,284
I'm sorry.
296
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,151
It just caught me by surprise.
297
00:13:19,201 --> 00:13:23,109
Uh... Just need some time
to, uh... recoup.
298
00:13:23,576 --> 00:13:24,776
Yeah, take your time.
299
00:13:30,034 --> 00:13:32,738
♪ Smoking so much gas
I forgot to put my mask on ♪
300
00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:34,821
Woo!
301
00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:36,246
♪ Called you off my iPhone ♪
302
00:13:36,251 --> 00:13:38,863
♪ Let me hold my hair for you
while you put my... ♪
303
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,238
Status update?
304
00:13:50,243 --> 00:13:52,529
Uh, you're in your underwear
in the Daily Mail.
305
00:13:52,534 --> 00:13:55,613
I'm in my underwear on the Daily Mail.
306
00:13:57,493 --> 00:13:59,779
We'll WhatsApp that to Timothée.
307
00:13:59,784 --> 00:14:01,284
Actually, don't. You'll get arrested.
308
00:14:02,451 --> 00:14:03,821
Want some?
309
00:14:03,826 --> 00:14:07,196
Uh... No, thank you,
I'm intermittent fasting.
310
00:14:07,201 --> 00:14:10,863
But offer some to that girl there? Hey.
311
00:14:10,868 --> 00:14:13,571
All right, so you're allowed
no more than two
312
00:14:13,576 --> 00:14:15,363
but no less than one.
313
00:14:15,368 --> 00:14:17,551
I love solving inequalities!
314
00:14:20,743 --> 00:14:22,443
Oh!
315
00:14:24,368 --> 00:14:26,993
Oh, okay.
316
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,654
- What was that?
- Space coke.
317
00:14:30,659 --> 00:14:33,563
- Is that like coke from NASA?
- It's coke with ketamine.
318
00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:35,071
Oh!
319
00:14:37,368 --> 00:14:39,563
- Yeah!
- Woo!
320
00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:41,568
I'll help with dessert in a moment!
321
00:15:00,534 --> 00:15:02,593
What is it? Is it an Amber Alert?
322
00:15:03,868 --> 00:15:05,076
Someone's calling you.
323
00:15:08,743 --> 00:15:10,904
- Hello?
- Do not call list.
324
00:15:10,909 --> 00:15:12,859
- It... It's Zoya.
- I don't know her.
325
00:15:14,243 --> 00:15:15,901
I know you made the Zugly hashtag.
326
00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:17,446
Yes, and?
327
00:15:17,451 --> 00:15:19,654
And I'm asking you to stop it?
328
00:15:19,659 --> 00:15:22,466
Mm! An ingenious portmanteau like that
329
00:15:22,471 --> 00:15:24,571
only derives from a place of truth.
330
00:15:24,576 --> 00:15:27,738
You can't dress like the Paramus
Uniqlo's back-to-school sale
331
00:15:27,743 --> 00:15:30,063
and not expect some feedback.
332
00:15:33,118 --> 00:15:34,904
- My name's...
- No.
333
00:15:34,909 --> 00:15:37,238
So, what are you saying?
334
00:15:37,243 --> 00:15:40,013
I could, um, try to Pygmalion you.
335
00:15:40,018 --> 00:15:41,488
Pygmalion me?
336
00:15:41,493 --> 00:15:43,654
Queer Eye, Princess Diary,
Pretty Woman you.
337
00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:45,196
Yeah, I know the reference.
338
00:15:45,201 --> 00:15:47,863
I'm just surprised you do.
Isn't it anti-feminist?
339
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:49,738
I don't mean a feminized transformation
340
00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:51,571
in order to please a cis man.
341
00:15:51,576 --> 00:15:53,546
I'm talking elevating your taste level
342
00:15:53,551 --> 00:15:55,988
so that no one calls you Zugly again.
343
00:15:55,993 --> 00:15:58,738
Look, I don't want to become
some inauthentic version of myself.
344
00:15:58,743 --> 00:16:01,029
When I'm done with you,
you won't know the difference.
345
00:16:01,034 --> 00:16:03,504
As long as you're on Obie's arm,
you're in the spotlight.
346
00:16:03,509 --> 00:16:07,279
It can be a blinding glare
or a benevolent glow.
347
00:16:07,284 --> 00:16:09,618
- So what's it gonna be?
- Well...
348
00:16:11,859 --> 00:16:15,279
If Julien falls, we aren't
going down with her.
349
00:16:15,284 --> 00:16:17,326
Might as well get in
with the new world order.
350
00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:27,026
- Well, that was...
- Informative?
351
00:16:28,243 --> 00:16:30,784
Sometimes it's important to
experiment to see what you like.
352
00:16:31,701 --> 00:16:32,701
Or don't.
353
00:16:36,118 --> 00:16:37,118
I love you. Good night.
354
00:16:38,368 --> 00:16:39,534
I love you too.
355
00:16:47,993 --> 00:16:49,404
This just in.
356
00:16:49,409 --> 00:16:52,446
Looks like one of Constance's
most constant couples
357
00:16:52,451 --> 00:16:54,546
isn't as coupled as we thought.
358
00:16:54,551 --> 00:16:58,821
We hear one half strayed,
but not too far from the nest,
359
00:16:58,826 --> 00:17:02,138
in fact, with someone
close to both parties.
360
00:17:02,143 --> 00:17:03,779
You okay, babe?
361
00:17:03,784 --> 00:17:06,568
Yeah, just, uh... reading
Sight and Sound. You?
362
00:17:07,201 --> 00:17:08,488
Town and Country.
363
00:17:08,493 --> 00:17:10,804
That's the fun thing about blind items.
364
00:17:10,809 --> 00:17:14,279
We often don't see what's right
in front of our eyes.
365
00:17:17,409 --> 00:17:20,304
- I love your cat suit.
- Thank you!
366
00:17:20,309 --> 00:17:22,554
It's my cast aside cat suit!
367
00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:24,513
Oh, babe, whoever broke up with you
368
00:17:24,518 --> 00:17:26,843
doesn't deserve you in the first place.
369
00:17:30,743 --> 00:17:34,113
My boyfriend dumped me for
my sister... well, half-sister...
370
00:17:34,118 --> 00:17:36,496
who I basically imported
from, like, Siberia.
371
00:17:36,501 --> 00:17:40,446
So I am on the warpath
to get over him tonight.
372
00:17:40,451 --> 00:17:43,134
- You are a warrior!
- I am.
373
00:17:44,201 --> 00:17:48,613
- I am a warrior!
- Maybe I should be, too.
374
00:17:48,618 --> 00:17:51,188
I have been dating my boyfriend
for a year,
375
00:17:51,193 --> 00:17:54,196
and he still won't go public with me.
376
00:17:54,201 --> 00:17:57,913
We go off-peak to off-grid
places like this.
377
00:17:57,918 --> 00:18:01,446
Or I sleep over two nights
a week at his pied-à-terre.
378
00:18:01,451 --> 00:18:03,279
Sounds like he's hiding something.
379
00:18:03,284 --> 00:18:04,779
Bring him to the red table!
380
00:18:04,784 --> 00:18:06,488
I should.
381
00:18:06,493 --> 00:18:11,113
Like, is it his problem or mine
for caring so much?
382
00:18:11,118 --> 00:18:14,963
The moral of the story?
You can't rely on any man.
383
00:18:14,968 --> 00:18:17,029
You can only rely on yourself, right?
384
00:18:17,034 --> 00:18:18,584
That's so fucking true.
385
00:18:27,368 --> 00:18:29,613
- Are we swiping?
- Uh, GPSing.
386
00:18:29,618 --> 00:18:31,238
It is one on Wednesday.
387
00:18:31,243 --> 00:18:33,521
We need to see where
the migaytion is flocking on.
388
00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:35,273
I'll check the LES.
389
00:18:35,277 --> 00:18:40,788
Oh... Tap him, he's cute.
And he likes pigs!
390
00:18:40,793 --> 00:18:44,584
- Oh, that's not what that means.
- What?
391
00:18:47,534 --> 00:18:49,618
- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.
392
00:18:51,801 --> 00:18:52,801
My dad.
393
00:18:53,618 --> 00:18:55,501
No, my dad.
394
00:18:57,243 --> 00:19:00,404
And sometimes, when we least expect it,
395
00:19:00,409 --> 00:19:03,779
our eyes are opened for us.
396
00:19:03,784 --> 00:19:06,668
My advice? Don't look away.
397
00:19:22,868 --> 00:19:24,145
Something happened.
398
00:19:24,150 --> 00:19:26,064
They're calling teachers in
for private interviews.
399
00:19:26,068 --> 00:19:28,154
What? Why? We did everything right.
400
00:19:28,159 --> 00:19:29,704
I told you, they're Black Cube!
401
00:19:29,709 --> 00:19:31,663
- They know things!
- It's a crusade.
402
00:19:31,668 --> 00:19:34,113
They won't stop till there's
a head on a spike.
403
00:19:34,118 --> 00:19:36,221
I once saw on an episode
of The Americans
404
00:19:36,226 --> 00:19:38,884
that if you squeeze your anus,
you can dupe a lie detector.
405
00:19:40,076 --> 00:19:42,279
All Burton wants is for this to go away.
406
00:19:42,284 --> 00:19:43,713
She won't stop until it does.
407
00:19:43,718 --> 00:19:46,046
Which is why we need to end it for her.
408
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,251
We need a fall guy.
409
00:19:50,409 --> 00:19:52,613
How about a fall gay?
410
00:19:52,618 --> 00:19:54,988
He refused to join us
and knows our secrets.
411
00:19:54,993 --> 00:19:57,571
- Two birds, one stone?
- We can't do that. Can we?
412
00:19:57,576 --> 00:19:59,146
He's too big of a fish to fry.
413
00:19:59,151 --> 00:20:01,446
Then who? We need to scapegoat someone
414
00:20:01,451 --> 00:20:04,113
before we're strapped
to the chair ourselves.
415
00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:06,004
- Shit. Shit.
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
416
00:20:06,009 --> 00:20:07,838
You, uh, rough night?
417
00:20:07,843 --> 00:20:11,693
- Um... One could say that.
- You okay?
418
00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:16,413
I'm actually glad I ran into you.
419
00:20:16,418 --> 00:20:17,696
The craziest thing happened
420
00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:20,404
and I just need to talk about it
with someone I can trust.
421
00:20:20,409 --> 00:20:21,751
Last night...
422
00:20:25,159 --> 00:20:28,904
- You know what, forget it.
- No, um, it's, um...
423
00:20:28,909 --> 00:20:31,446
I'm sorry, all right? It's just,
I probably shouldn't...
424
00:20:31,451 --> 00:20:34,011
Yeah, of course. You shouldn't.
But you did anyway, so.
425
00:20:45,618 --> 00:20:47,647
Hey, did you come in the side
way? I've been waiting for you!
426
00:20:47,651 --> 00:20:49,704
Someone sent Deuxmoi my old Dubsmashes,
427
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,654
and now everyone is just la...
428
00:20:51,659 --> 00:20:53,162
You can't use your phone at school!
429
00:20:53,167 --> 00:20:55,821
Hey. All right. Okay, okay.
All right. Look, look, look,
430
00:20:55,826 --> 00:20:57,513
I know what's gonna cheer you up.
431
00:20:57,518 --> 00:20:59,563
Your dad gave us permission
for our first real date!
432
00:20:59,568 --> 00:21:01,218
Yeah. And I got us tickets
433
00:21:01,223 --> 00:21:03,054
to Jeremy O. Harris's
new play. Opening night.
434
00:21:03,059 --> 00:21:05,055
When I told him what it was,
he caved because he knows
435
00:21:05,059 --> 00:21:06,755
how important theater
is to you and everything.
436
00:21:06,759 --> 00:21:09,654
And you can tell me
what it all means afterwards.
437
00:21:09,659 --> 00:21:11,519
'Cause you know, off-Broadway is like...
438
00:21:12,826 --> 00:21:14,251
all confusing and...
439
00:21:16,176 --> 00:21:18,338
- I thought you loved the theater?
- No, I do. I do.
440
00:21:18,343 --> 00:21:20,293
And I couldn't be more excited.
Excuse me.
441
00:21:23,284 --> 00:21:26,938
- You told Gossip Girl about us?
- Shizukani, Akeno.
442
00:21:26,943 --> 00:21:30,988
I have not had enough espresso
or Vyvanse for this encounter.
443
00:21:30,993 --> 00:21:33,196
- So you admit you did it?
- What, spill the bathwater?
444
00:21:33,201 --> 00:21:34,363
No, of course not.
445
00:21:34,368 --> 00:21:36,571
Do you know how many people
cheat in this school?
446
00:21:36,576 --> 00:21:38,821
This place has more
side pieces than Versailles.
447
00:21:38,826 --> 00:21:40,997
- She could have meant any couple.
- That post was clearly me
448
00:21:41,001 --> 00:21:42,288
- and Aud...
- What about me?
449
00:21:42,293 --> 00:21:44,988
Um... That, uh, you look
good enough to eat.
450
00:21:44,993 --> 00:21:46,404
Oh.
451
00:21:46,409 --> 00:21:48,279
Could you get me a contraband straw?
452
00:21:48,284 --> 00:21:49,876
This paper ones always break.
453
00:21:52,934 --> 00:21:55,496
What the hell, Wolfe!
You told Gossip Girl about us?
454
00:21:55,501 --> 00:21:57,654
Oh, for fuck's sake, not this again.
455
00:21:57,659 --> 00:22:00,128
- Again? What do you mean again?
- Why is everyone on my case?
456
00:22:00,133 --> 00:22:02,670
I have a lot of things
on my mind right now
457
00:22:02,675 --> 00:22:05,263
and your lesbian bed death
is certainly not one of them.
458
00:22:05,268 --> 00:22:08,046
You know what? If you're so
worried about it getting out,
459
00:22:08,051 --> 00:22:10,091
maybe you shouldn't have
done it in the first place!
460
00:22:13,368 --> 00:22:14,451
This one's made of wheat.
461
00:22:20,701 --> 00:22:22,821
Progress report on
the sins of our fathers?
462
00:22:22,826 --> 00:22:24,796
I searched the entire house last night
463
00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:26,004
and couldn't find a thing.
464
00:22:26,009 --> 00:22:29,238
No hidden passages from the
service entrance to his room.
465
00:22:29,243 --> 00:22:31,004
No stray La Perlas in the closet.
466
00:22:31,009 --> 00:22:34,418
No sign of a girlfriend at all.
So, he is hiding her.
467
00:22:34,909 --> 00:22:36,738
- But why?
- Hm.
468
00:22:36,743 --> 00:22:39,904
I Insta-stalked her. Lola Morgan.
469
00:22:39,909 --> 00:22:42,738
- Singer-songwriter.
- Hm, that tracks.
470
00:22:42,743 --> 00:22:45,143
I'm determined to gain clarity on this.
471
00:22:45,148 --> 00:22:46,718
What about you?
472
00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:50,671
I gently prodded Dad and he said
they've never opened,
473
00:22:50,676 --> 00:22:53,139
so I don't know why Pops
is on there "newly single".
474
00:22:53,143 --> 00:22:56,359
So of course, I had
to take drastic measures.
475
00:22:57,618 --> 00:23:00,696
He probably has his reasons.
Maybe just leave it alone?
476
00:23:00,701 --> 00:23:03,884
Mm... Maybe Davis has his
and you should too?
477
00:23:08,701 --> 00:23:10,503
The Prince and the Popo?
478
00:23:10,508 --> 00:23:12,447
"The new girl on the arm
of prince of New York
479
00:23:12,451 --> 00:23:15,404
Otto Bergmann IV
is something called a Zoya Lott.
480
00:23:15,409 --> 00:23:18,321
And no, apparently,
that's not her drag name.
481
00:23:18,326 --> 00:23:20,279
An import from a shtetl called Buffalo,
482
00:23:20,284 --> 00:23:22,363
Lott was overheard
at not-spot Via Quadronno
483
00:23:22,368 --> 00:23:23,963
saying New York smelled like garbage".
484
00:23:23,968 --> 00:23:25,488
It was literally garbage day!
485
00:23:25,493 --> 00:23:29,018
It's New York. It's always garbage day.
486
00:23:29,493 --> 00:23:30,679
When are you going to get it?
487
00:23:30,684 --> 00:23:32,129
As far as the press is concerned,
488
00:23:32,134 --> 00:23:33,929
he's R-Patz and you're Suki nobody.
489
00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:36,113
This is the land
of schadenfreude on Adderall.
490
00:23:36,118 --> 00:23:38,904
You need to curate
your image as meticulously
491
00:23:38,909 --> 00:23:41,738
as a Gagauzian exhibit
and follow only my rules.
492
00:23:41,743 --> 00:23:43,988
Otherwise, you'll end up being
banned like a plastic bag
493
00:23:43,993 --> 00:23:45,738
on the corner of Lex and D'Agostino.
494
00:23:45,743 --> 00:23:47,679
Okay, I'm going to an opening
with Obie tonight,
495
00:23:47,684 --> 00:23:49,571
so I need your help now more than ever.
496
00:23:49,576 --> 00:23:52,029
Then let's get started.
497
00:23:52,034 --> 00:23:54,529
First rule. Never speak in public,
498
00:23:54,534 --> 00:23:55,788
which you've just learned.
499
00:23:55,793 --> 00:23:58,304
Second rule.
Never look directly at a camera.
500
00:23:58,309 --> 00:24:00,988
Never look directly anywhere.
501
00:24:00,993 --> 00:24:03,988
- These are contacts.
- I don't wear contacts.
502
00:24:03,993 --> 00:24:06,071
Exactly. They'll make everything blurry.
503
00:24:06,076 --> 00:24:08,654
This way, you'll always
look like you're smizing.
504
00:24:08,659 --> 00:24:10,659
Because you literally
can't see anything.
505
00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:14,279
Third rule. Never sweat.
506
00:24:14,284 --> 00:24:17,621
- Relax, it's just Botox.
- I don't want Botox, I'm 14!
507
00:24:17,626 --> 00:24:18,821
It's preventative.
508
00:24:18,826 --> 00:24:20,614
And don't worry, it's not
for your face, anyway.
509
00:24:20,618 --> 00:24:21,818
Then what is it for?
510
00:24:22,534 --> 00:24:26,279
Fine, a pad will do. Lift.
511
00:24:26,284 --> 00:24:28,505
- That'll make me sweat more.
- And now no one will see it.
512
00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:31,029
- Fourth rule. Know your side.
- I have a side?
513
00:24:31,034 --> 00:24:32,696
You do and it's not facing me right now.
514
00:24:32,701 --> 00:24:34,113
Are you taking notes?
515
00:24:52,659 --> 00:24:54,946
And finally, five tenets
to live and die by in public.
516
00:24:54,951 --> 00:24:57,529
Never eat, cry, PDA, MTA or wear flats.
517
00:24:57,534 --> 00:24:59,189
- Where am I supposed to eat?
- In private,
518
00:24:59,193 --> 00:25:00,647
with the blinds drawn.
And whatever you do,
519
00:25:00,651 --> 00:25:02,946
never trust the doorman.
They sell tips to TMZ.
520
00:25:02,951 --> 00:25:04,372
No way! Jimmy's been in the building
521
00:25:04,376 --> 00:25:06,001
since the '70s when my
grandma first moved there.
522
00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:07,378
Ew. You live with your grandma?
523
00:25:07,383 --> 00:25:10,046
No. I mean, she's in a home,
but I stay in her apartment,
524
00:25:10,051 --> 00:25:11,942
which is probably something
I shouldn't have told you
525
00:25:11,946 --> 00:25:13,682
because it's rent-controlled and the
board doesn't know that I'm there, but...
526
00:25:13,686 --> 00:25:15,592
Do I look like I want a story?
You're a client, not a colleague.
527
00:25:15,596 --> 00:25:17,029
Now show me what's in your bag.
528
00:25:17,034 --> 00:25:18,821
Hey!
529
00:25:18,826 --> 00:25:20,779
I shouldn't be seen with you right now.
530
00:25:20,784 --> 00:25:23,564
It's fine, Gossip Girl
knows nothing, okay?
531
00:25:24,326 --> 00:25:25,904
But she could find out.
532
00:25:25,909 --> 00:25:27,779
If you want to guarantee,
I'll never tell...
533
00:25:27,784 --> 00:25:29,779
More steam-room shenanigans?
534
00:25:29,784 --> 00:25:32,196
More of a catfishing expedition.
535
00:25:32,201 --> 00:25:35,671
I need you to create
a fake Scruff profile
536
00:25:35,676 --> 00:25:37,076
and use it on my dad.
537
00:25:37,951 --> 00:25:39,446
Are you out of your fucking mind?
538
00:25:39,451 --> 00:25:42,071
Look, I need proof that he is using
the app for more than perusal.
539
00:25:42,076 --> 00:25:45,088
- Why don't you just do it yourself?
- You want me to sext my father?
540
00:25:45,093 --> 00:25:46,654
Is it any better you want me to?
541
00:25:46,659 --> 00:25:50,238
No, not as you. As Rafa. Okay?
542
00:25:50,243 --> 00:25:52,379
Clone his profile and get chatty.
543
00:25:52,384 --> 00:25:53,938
No nudes, no private album,
544
00:25:53,943 --> 00:25:56,996
just the innocent intention
of meeting up on record.
545
00:25:57,001 --> 00:25:59,696
This is ridiculous, even for you.
546
00:25:59,701 --> 00:26:01,779
Well, since the guy won't fuck me,
547
00:26:01,784 --> 00:26:03,551
I might as well fuck with him.
548
00:26:04,659 --> 00:26:07,613
Here. Come on, I'll even...
I'll set it up myself.
549
00:26:22,118 --> 00:26:23,988
Spotted on the corner of Bedford:
550
00:26:23,993 --> 00:26:27,363
JC donning her best disguise.
551
00:26:32,034 --> 00:26:33,571
And is she the only one?
552
00:27:12,951 --> 00:27:15,104
Guess we better run to the box office
553
00:27:15,109 --> 00:27:17,696
to get our own ticket
for tonight's show.
554
00:27:17,701 --> 00:27:20,904
Something is clearly about to go down.
555
00:27:30,868 --> 00:27:32,509
What in God's name are you wearing?
556
00:27:33,409 --> 00:27:36,654
Your father thought it advisable
557
00:27:36,659 --> 00:27:38,538
not to ruffle any feathers tonight.
558
00:27:38,543 --> 00:27:41,863
Although, to be honest,
I would rather be wearing them.
559
00:27:41,868 --> 00:27:44,904
- Well, why aren't you, then?
- He said I looked great.
560
00:27:44,909 --> 00:27:46,137
Dignified.
561
00:27:46,142 --> 00:27:47,929
Oh, that's because you look like him.
562
00:27:47,934 --> 00:27:49,821
- Maximus...
- No, no, wait.
563
00:27:49,826 --> 00:27:52,904
I do not want to ruffle
any feathers either, okay?
564
00:27:52,909 --> 00:27:54,988
But you raised me to be
my most authentic self,
565
00:27:54,993 --> 00:27:57,029
- did you not?
- Of course we did. And you are.
566
00:27:57,034 --> 00:27:58,646
And we wouldn't have it any other way.
567
00:27:58,651 --> 00:28:01,071
Then you need to start
following your own advice.
568
00:28:01,076 --> 00:28:03,363
Be you. To hell with what
anyone else says.
569
00:28:03,368 --> 00:28:06,613
- Even Pops.
- Oh. I don't know...
570
00:28:06,618 --> 00:28:09,571
Did I not see the most
spectacular Kamali number
571
00:28:09,576 --> 00:28:12,404
in your closet? That would
just be perfect for tonight.
572
00:28:12,409 --> 00:28:14,321
- I know. I did have it tailored.
- Yeah, yeah.
573
00:28:14,326 --> 00:28:16,904
Okay, well I'm excited to see it on you.
574
00:28:16,909 --> 00:28:19,209
Go. I'll change, too.
575
00:28:43,701 --> 00:28:45,196
Since when do you take a car?
576
00:28:45,201 --> 00:28:47,341
Remind me to learn
how to Citi-bike in a dress?
577
00:28:48,284 --> 00:28:49,844
So this is what you look like at night?
578
00:28:50,326 --> 00:28:52,409
It, uh... It is now.
579
00:28:54,551 --> 00:28:57,009
It's beautiful. You're beautiful.
580
00:28:57,626 --> 00:28:58,834
Thank you.
581
00:29:00,618 --> 00:29:02,114
You know, I'm really glad you invited me
582
00:29:02,118 --> 00:29:04,279
as your plus one tonight.
I feel like it's been forever
583
00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:06,446
since we did something
like this, just the two of us.
584
00:29:06,451 --> 00:29:08,321
Well, I'm really glad
you're back from Berlin.
585
00:29:08,326 --> 00:29:10,946
But you must be exhausted.
You should have coffee.
586
00:29:10,951 --> 00:29:14,488
I heard the play is very long
and full of surprises.
587
00:29:14,493 --> 00:29:16,071
- You're gonna want to be awake.
- Okay.
588
00:29:16,076 --> 00:29:17,196
- I'll be right back.
- Sure.
589
00:29:19,409 --> 00:29:21,238
Hey, what did he say, exactly?
590
00:29:21,243 --> 00:29:22,683
Why don't you just read it yourself?
591
00:29:23,784 --> 00:29:25,420
He was hesitant at first
but then he asked
592
00:29:25,424 --> 00:29:27,129
if we could come over
to my place next weekend.
593
00:29:27,133 --> 00:29:29,654
That's when my dad's in London.
Okay, um...
594
00:29:29,659 --> 00:29:31,572
Okay, maybe... maybe I do
need to read it for myself?
595
00:29:31,576 --> 00:29:33,588
- What's your password?
- 2046.
596
00:29:33,593 --> 00:29:35,259
Wong Kar-Wai's unsung masterpiece.
597
00:29:36,326 --> 00:29:37,701
Did you just steal my phone?
598
00:29:41,493 --> 00:29:43,279
Thank God you're sitting next to us.
599
00:29:43,284 --> 00:29:45,554
I cannot be near Max,
or Aki might put it together.
600
00:29:45,559 --> 00:29:47,572
I really don't think Gossip Girl
was referring to you.
601
00:29:47,576 --> 00:29:50,446
Optically speaking, I would like
to err on the side of caution.
602
00:29:50,451 --> 00:29:52,404
Proximity plus the wine I'm gonna need
603
00:29:52,409 --> 00:29:54,576
to get through this play
are not a good combo.
604
00:29:57,993 --> 00:29:59,193
What are you looking for?
605
00:30:08,951 --> 00:30:10,534
Hi.
606
00:30:13,484 --> 00:30:14,484
There's Max.
607
00:30:15,901 --> 00:30:20,021
Who knew you liked a grand
romantic gesture so much?
608
00:30:20,026 --> 00:30:21,026
Lola.
609
00:30:22,076 --> 00:30:24,174
- What are you...
- You look surprised.
610
00:30:24,179 --> 00:30:27,529
Yes, I do exist before
the clock strikes 11:00.
611
00:30:27,534 --> 00:30:30,896
Those lily roses with the ticket
tucked and twined?
612
00:30:30,901 --> 00:30:33,321
So thoughtful.
613
00:30:33,326 --> 00:30:37,196
And opening night,
what a way to go public!
614
00:30:37,201 --> 00:30:40,071
At The Public!
615
00:30:40,076 --> 00:30:43,279
Well, I am so glad it worked out.
616
00:30:43,284 --> 00:30:44,605
Would you excuse me for one minute?
617
00:30:44,609 --> 00:30:45,830
I should hit the bathroom before...
618
00:30:45,834 --> 00:30:46,843
Okay.
619
00:30:47,368 --> 00:30:49,018
I'll be here.
620
00:30:53,201 --> 00:30:55,571
♪ Lonely tonight ♪
621
00:30:55,576 --> 00:30:57,196
Oh God, what did you do?
622
00:30:57,201 --> 00:30:58,838
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
623
00:30:58,843 --> 00:31:01,046
Normally I wouldn't accept
a gift from a student.
624
00:31:01,051 --> 00:31:02,904
But I'm a huge fan of Jeremy's work,
625
00:31:02,909 --> 00:31:05,279
- so thank your dad for me?
- You can thank him yourself.
626
00:31:05,284 --> 00:31:07,284
I'll introduce you after the show.
627
00:31:08,326 --> 00:31:10,604
You know what?
You deserve a better seat.
628
00:31:10,609 --> 00:31:12,234
Here, take my ticket instead.
629
00:31:16,243 --> 00:31:19,813
- Oh... I need your ticket.
- The extra one you gave me?
630
00:31:19,818 --> 00:31:21,238
No, I need it.
631
00:31:21,243 --> 00:31:23,529
The sacrifices we make
for the theater, darling.
632
00:31:23,534 --> 00:31:25,734
Next time, steal someone else's plan.
633
00:31:26,284 --> 00:31:28,029
But this is obstructed view!
634
00:31:28,034 --> 00:31:30,126
Well, guess you need
to gain some clarity.
635
00:31:36,784 --> 00:31:39,988
Let the play around the play begin.
636
00:31:56,034 --> 00:31:57,864
Thought you were supposed
to sit with your dads?
637
00:31:57,868 --> 00:31:59,493
You don't like me in the middle?
638
00:32:02,326 --> 00:32:05,779
- Sorry.
- Dude, give me back my phone!
639
00:32:08,868 --> 00:32:13,363
Ooh, looks like someone's been
doing extra credit homework.
640
00:32:13,368 --> 00:32:14,738
What are you guys doing?
641
00:32:14,743 --> 00:32:15,988
- Nothing.
- Nothing.
642
00:32:15,993 --> 00:32:18,746
"AARON features full frontal nudity,
643
00:32:18,751 --> 00:32:21,921
potentially disturbing
realistically depicted violence,
644
00:32:21,926 --> 00:32:24,554
simulated and non-simulated sex scenes,
645
00:32:24,559 --> 00:32:27,238
and audience participation".
646
00:32:27,243 --> 00:32:29,404
Try and put on a brave face, dear.
647
00:32:29,409 --> 00:32:31,869
It's a miracle the theater's even open.
648
00:32:34,659 --> 00:32:35,659
What do you know?
649
00:32:36,543 --> 00:32:38,071
Mr. Caparros, right?
650
00:32:38,076 --> 00:32:39,154
Who?
651
00:32:39,159 --> 00:32:41,738
- Max's Classics teacher!
- Of course. Nice to see you.
652
00:32:41,743 --> 00:32:42,821
And please, Rafa.
653
00:32:42,826 --> 00:32:44,189
I don't think you two know each other.
654
00:32:44,193 --> 00:32:45,821
Uh, no, no. We certainly don't.
655
00:32:45,826 --> 00:32:48,128
- Nice to meet you.
- This is my husband, Roy Sachs.
656
00:32:48,133 --> 00:32:50,438
Honey, I think you had
a walkthrough in Wilton,
657
00:32:50,443 --> 00:32:52,563
the day of parent-teacher conferences.
658
00:32:52,568 --> 00:32:54,913
I was so thrilled to learn
you're having them
659
00:32:54,918 --> 00:32:57,388
- read Catullus and Ovid this term.
- Mm.
660
00:32:57,393 --> 00:33:03,779
All right, I've got Justin's,
peanut M&Ms and Tate's.
661
00:33:03,784 --> 00:33:06,446
They're the gluten-free ones,
'cause they were out of the regular.
662
00:33:06,451 --> 00:33:08,154
I'm good. Thank you.
663
00:33:08,159 --> 00:33:10,784
- I thought you loved M&Ms.
- I'm just not very hungry.
664
00:33:14,701 --> 00:33:17,529
You know, I saw Hamilton here with Max,
665
00:33:17,534 --> 00:33:18,743
before it went on Broadway.
666
00:33:19,863 --> 00:33:21,863
You into that play?
667
00:33:21,868 --> 00:33:23,988
No doubt it's a work of art.
668
00:33:25,326 --> 00:33:28,226
- Um, but...
- But what?
669
00:33:30,743 --> 00:33:32,451
What?
670
00:33:33,743 --> 00:33:35,238
Of course.
671
00:33:35,243 --> 00:33:37,238
I thought you were coming here
with your dad?
672
00:33:37,243 --> 00:33:39,801
I don't have to tell you
who I am or am not here with.
673
00:33:41,684 --> 00:33:43,193
It's the least you can do.
674
00:33:49,993 --> 00:33:52,446
- Can you remove your hat?
- Uh... No.
675
00:33:52,451 --> 00:33:54,572
Who's that that your...
Who's that that your dad's with?
676
00:33:54,576 --> 00:33:56,626
Why? Do you want to date her, too?
677
00:34:05,576 --> 00:34:06,576
That's my...
678
00:34:08,784 --> 00:34:11,043
- She's my...
- Your daughter?
679
00:34:12,159 --> 00:34:14,693
Who I now realize I met the other night.
680
00:34:16,909 --> 00:34:18,951
You didn't invite me here, did you?
681
00:34:20,584 --> 00:34:24,084
LX 1. LX 2, go.
682
00:34:24,693 --> 00:34:26,321
Aaron, go.
683
00:34:33,451 --> 00:34:35,904
_
684
00:34:37,868 --> 00:34:38,993
What?
685
00:34:40,409 --> 00:34:42,238
- What?
- _
686
00:34:42,243 --> 00:34:44,659
Have I not arrived
as you assumed I would?
687
00:34:45,484 --> 00:34:47,526
Like a black dog.
688
00:34:48,584 --> 00:34:50,084
As the saying is...
689
00:34:53,034 --> 00:34:55,409
You do know who I am, right?
690
00:34:56,951 --> 00:34:58,751
The inhuman dog.
691
00:34:59,993 --> 00:35:02,284
Unhallowed slave.
692
00:35:04,243 --> 00:35:07,201
Who said it first?
693
00:35:09,526 --> 00:35:10,526
You...
694
00:35:12,093 --> 00:35:13,418
Who said it first?
695
00:35:16,368 --> 00:35:20,084
My... father said it of my father!
696
00:35:24,951 --> 00:35:28,209
So, what'd you think?
It was pretty intense, huh?
697
00:35:31,034 --> 00:35:33,321
And you're still shocked, I see.
698
00:35:33,326 --> 00:35:34,429
There's a four-block rule.
699
00:35:34,434 --> 00:35:36,380
You can't talk about the work
until you're four blocks away.
700
00:35:36,384 --> 00:35:39,529
I've never known you to wait
half a block to say anything.
701
00:35:39,534 --> 00:35:41,068
Thank you.
702
00:35:41,968 --> 00:35:44,338
Now you're turning down
lemongrass chicken?
703
00:35:44,343 --> 00:35:46,743
The play was, like,
four hours long, I mean...
704
00:35:48,076 --> 00:35:50,484
Well, you must be... starving.
705
00:35:51,784 --> 00:35:53,909
I'll be right back.
706
00:35:55,184 --> 00:35:59,279
- Hey. Hey. We need to talk.
- Do we?
707
00:35:59,284 --> 00:36:00,954
Because I'm pretty sure
whatever you say,
708
00:36:00,959 --> 00:36:02,380
you'll be leaving a lot out as usual.
709
00:36:02,384 --> 00:36:04,446
- What you did tonight was...
- Oh, I'm at fault?
710
00:36:04,451 --> 00:36:08,154
Do I have a secret apartment?
A secret partner, a secret life?
711
00:36:08,159 --> 00:36:10,488
It was never my intention
to hide anything from you.
712
00:36:10,493 --> 00:36:14,321
But you did. And you didn't
just hide it, you lied.
713
00:36:14,326 --> 00:36:16,438
All of these trips you take,
how many are real
714
00:36:16,443 --> 00:36:18,071
and how many are ten blocks away?
715
00:36:18,076 --> 00:36:20,529
- It's not that simp...
- Okay, yeah.
716
00:36:20,534 --> 00:36:23,779
I guess we just have more
in common than I realized.
717
00:36:23,784 --> 00:36:26,696
We both have a public life
and a private one.
718
00:36:26,701 --> 00:36:28,446
I don't want to do that anymore.
719
00:36:28,451 --> 00:36:32,093
- Hey, Julien. I am sorry...
- It's not your fault.
720
00:36:32,776 --> 00:36:33,871
But a tip?
721
00:36:33,876 --> 00:36:36,871
You should probably find someone
who isn't afraid to be seen with you.
722
00:36:44,868 --> 00:36:47,463
Burton emailed me my interrogation time.
723
00:36:47,468 --> 00:36:50,196
During school hours, like...
724
00:36:50,201 --> 00:36:52,654
I guess it's more important
to talk to a bunch of black hats
725
00:36:52,659 --> 00:36:54,379
about an anonymous Instagram account
726
00:36:54,384 --> 00:36:56,821
- than actually teach students?
- It's not anonymous to you.
727
00:36:56,826 --> 00:37:00,113
George doesn't understand
our little social experiment.
728
00:37:00,118 --> 00:37:01,879
He went to public school in Suburbia
729
00:37:01,884 --> 00:37:03,613
where everybody was nice to each other.
730
00:37:03,618 --> 00:37:05,279
This isn't something to joke about.
731
00:37:05,284 --> 00:37:07,046
That firm exposed billionaires,
732
00:37:07,051 --> 00:37:09,779
uncovered massive
corporate security breaches.
733
00:37:09,784 --> 00:37:12,563
They worked for Weinstein.
You think you can outsmart them?
734
00:37:12,568 --> 00:37:15,404
I did place a firewall
on the school servers.
735
00:37:15,409 --> 00:37:17,213
These people invented firewalls.
736
00:37:17,218 --> 00:37:19,988
You should quit now before your
entire careers are destroyed.
737
00:37:19,993 --> 00:37:22,613
I understand your concerns, George.
738
00:37:22,618 --> 00:37:26,613
But the school board doesn't
actually care about Gossip Girl.
739
00:37:26,618 --> 00:37:28,113
They just hate the noise.
740
00:37:28,118 --> 00:37:30,488
We're in the midst of figuring out a way
741
00:37:30,493 --> 00:37:31,779
to quiet it all down.
742
00:37:31,784 --> 00:37:35,821
You're my wife. I can't help but worry.
743
00:37:35,826 --> 00:37:37,321
You know why I was fired?
744
00:37:37,326 --> 00:37:39,654
My boss, a father at your school,
745
00:37:39,659 --> 00:37:43,029
knew I knew he had expensed escorts.
746
00:37:43,034 --> 00:37:44,738
That's why we're doing this.
747
00:37:44,743 --> 00:37:47,609
To hold these people
and their kids accountable.
748
00:37:48,576 --> 00:37:52,404
- You could expose him.
- I've already lost my job.
749
00:37:52,409 --> 00:37:54,529
I don't want to lose
my integrity on top of that.
750
00:37:55,159 --> 00:37:58,071
Besides, privilege and power,
751
00:37:58,076 --> 00:38:01,488
no matter how amoral,
will always win in the end.
752
00:38:01,493 --> 00:38:04,779
And the people at the bottom
will always end up with nothing.
753
00:38:04,784 --> 00:38:07,779
People like us. Sorry,
where's your bathroom?
754
00:38:07,784 --> 00:38:09,676
Um... Just down the hall, to the left.
755
00:38:15,243 --> 00:38:17,279
We are a bit wrapped up in it.
756
00:38:17,284 --> 00:38:19,738
Well, of course we are. We created it.
757
00:38:19,743 --> 00:38:21,279
Maybe we should be considering
758
00:38:21,284 --> 00:38:23,529
if it's worth risking
everything we care about?
759
00:38:23,534 --> 00:38:26,418
I like being a teacher. Don't you?
760
00:38:30,118 --> 00:38:32,988
I'll get us another bottle.
761
00:38:38,284 --> 00:38:40,109
Did we just get fucked?
762
00:38:41,118 --> 00:38:42,446
I loved it.
763
00:38:42,451 --> 00:38:45,696
But it'd be committing
theatrical seppuku to transfer it.
764
00:38:45,701 --> 00:38:50,196
It would close in a week,
especially without a star.
765
00:38:50,201 --> 00:38:52,779
I just wish it wasn't
so confrontational.
766
00:38:52,784 --> 00:38:56,446
I mean, even Taylor Mac
added farce to his Titus.
767
00:38:56,451 --> 00:38:57,738
And it still flopped.
768
00:38:57,743 --> 00:38:59,321
I guess it's Ivo's gender-swapped
769
00:38:59,326 --> 00:39:01,346
My Fair Lady with Gyllenhaal instead?
770
00:39:01,351 --> 00:39:02,529
Are you kidding me?
771
00:39:04,159 --> 00:39:06,030
Hey, where've you been?
I've been looking for you.
772
00:39:06,034 --> 00:39:09,029
- Obie. Do you know...
- A provocative play like AARON
773
00:39:09,034 --> 00:39:11,404
is exactly what Broadway
needs after a year on pause.
774
00:39:11,409 --> 00:39:14,154
What it doesn't is another
"revisal" of... of anything.
775
00:39:14,159 --> 00:39:16,338
Especially one devised by white people,
776
00:39:16,343 --> 00:39:18,771
about white people,
starring white people.
777
00:39:18,776 --> 00:39:21,454
That's why the theater
was invented, right?
778
00:39:21,459 --> 00:39:22,944
To challenge audience members to...
779
00:39:22,949 --> 00:39:24,824
to think beyond their own narratives.
780
00:39:24,829 --> 00:39:26,749
I mean, come on, have you
never read Shange?
781
00:39:27,176 --> 00:39:28,834
Albee? Fornés?
782
00:39:29,576 --> 00:39:32,754
- Hey. Who are you?
- Oh, hi, Jeremy.
783
00:39:32,759 --> 00:39:34,863
Oh. I'm no one.
784
00:39:34,868 --> 00:39:36,904
You seem very much like someone to me.
785
00:39:36,909 --> 00:39:39,169
Let's find a less confrontational space.
786
00:39:39,943 --> 00:39:41,143
And have a little talk.
787
00:39:43,743 --> 00:39:45,243
Hey, excuse us.
788
00:39:51,009 --> 00:39:52,713
Um... Hey.
789
00:39:52,718 --> 00:39:55,613
Sorry about messaging
you at the theater...
790
00:39:55,618 --> 00:39:59,029
About that. I think you might have
me confused with someone else.
791
00:39:59,034 --> 00:40:02,753
Hey, Pops! Don't leave me
and Dad out of the conversation!
792
00:40:02,758 --> 00:40:04,363
Max, I was talking to my friend.
793
00:40:04,368 --> 00:40:07,613
Oh, you're gonna want to talk
to these two more, trust me.
794
00:40:07,618 --> 00:40:09,279
Do you want to tell him or should I?
795
00:40:09,284 --> 00:40:10,484
Want to tell him what?
796
00:40:11,284 --> 00:40:12,484
Tell me what?
797
00:40:13,284 --> 00:40:14,984
- I'm confused...
- Max.
798
00:40:18,451 --> 00:40:19,743
Pops is on Scruff.
799
00:40:21,159 --> 00:40:24,388
Yeah, he's got an active profile
that says "newly single".
800
00:40:24,393 --> 00:40:27,946
And he's been messaging guys
with the intention of cheating.
801
00:40:27,951 --> 00:40:29,711
This guy in particular.
802
00:40:29,716 --> 00:40:32,321
Hey, Max. Max, that's enough.
Stop. Stop it. Give me that.
803
00:40:32,326 --> 00:40:33,938
- Stop that!
- Wait, you did this?
804
00:40:33,943 --> 00:40:35,654
With Max's teacher?
805
00:40:35,659 --> 00:40:38,821
- Yes, I did, but...
- Not with me, no. It...
806
00:40:38,826 --> 00:40:40,266
What do you mean, not with you?
807
00:40:41,284 --> 00:40:43,279
I think your son can explain.
808
00:40:43,284 --> 00:40:45,071
What does he have to do with this?
809
00:40:45,076 --> 00:40:47,404
He deserved to know the truth.
810
00:40:47,409 --> 00:40:49,738
- Did you pretend...
- Well, not me, but...
811
00:40:49,743 --> 00:40:51,321
Is it true?
812
00:40:51,326 --> 00:40:53,488
- Is it true?
- Nothing happened.
813
00:40:53,493 --> 00:40:55,321
All right, it was just talk,
it was all talk.
814
00:40:55,326 --> 00:40:56,754
But you wanted something to happen.
815
00:40:56,759 --> 00:41:00,388
I just wanted to talk
and I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
816
00:41:00,393 --> 00:41:02,572
I don't understand why you
would do something like this.
817
00:41:02,576 --> 00:41:03,863
Oh, God!
818
00:41:03,868 --> 00:41:05,388
Look, Gideon, I love you.
819
00:41:05,393 --> 00:41:08,301
But when I fell in love
with you, you were different.
820
00:41:09,076 --> 00:41:11,009
You've changed. And I'm not sure I...
821
00:41:12,534 --> 00:41:13,963
I don't even know if I'm able to...
822
00:41:13,968 --> 00:41:16,263
Still be attracted to me.
823
00:41:16,268 --> 00:41:20,263
- With all this.
- I still love you.
824
00:41:20,268 --> 00:41:22,618
- I do, but...
- But you like it masc?
825
00:41:23,409 --> 00:41:24,613
Is that it?
826
00:41:24,618 --> 00:41:26,379
And instead of talking to me about it,
827
00:41:26,384 --> 00:41:28,254
you were gonna fuck some other guys
828
00:41:28,259 --> 00:41:30,446
- so you can feel it again?
- No, no. Of course not.
829
00:41:30,451 --> 00:41:32,213
I still want you, only you.
830
00:41:32,218 --> 00:41:34,363
You want the version of me
you're comfortable with.
831
00:41:34,368 --> 00:41:36,763
The one I felt I still had to be
when we first met.
832
00:41:36,768 --> 00:41:38,784
But not who I am.
833
00:41:38,789 --> 00:41:40,289
I'm growing.
834
00:41:40,909 --> 00:41:42,779
But after almost 20 years together,
835
00:41:42,784 --> 00:41:44,871
I'm shocked you can't see
that the only thing
836
00:41:44,876 --> 00:41:48,093
that has changed here is you.
837
00:41:54,826 --> 00:41:55,826
Why?
838
00:41:57,201 --> 00:42:02,071
- Why would you do that to me?
- Why would you do this to us?
839
00:42:02,076 --> 00:42:04,113
♪ Harden my heart ♪
840
00:42:04,118 --> 00:42:07,904
♪ I'm gonna swallow my tears ♪
841
00:42:07,909 --> 00:42:12,571
♪ I'm gonna harden my heart ♪
842
00:42:12,576 --> 00:42:17,863
♪ I'm gonna swallow my tears ♪
843
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:20,946
♪ Harden my heart harden my heart ♪
844
00:42:23,326 --> 00:42:26,946
Obie. What are you doing out here?
845
00:42:26,951 --> 00:42:29,129
I was looking for you.
I thought that you had left.
846
00:42:29,134 --> 00:42:30,968
Oh, Jeremy actually asked me to...
847
00:42:33,034 --> 00:42:36,571
- You're upset.
- No.
848
00:42:36,576 --> 00:42:39,279
Is it because of what
I said earlier, about the play?
849
00:42:39,284 --> 00:42:42,118
I mean, I was in the middle of
speaking and you just kinda left.
850
00:42:42,868 --> 00:42:44,363
I was just confused.
851
00:42:44,368 --> 00:42:47,446
'Cause you've been so weird all night.
852
00:42:47,451 --> 00:42:49,821
And then suddenly you're yourself again
853
00:42:49,826 --> 00:42:52,618
and then you ditch me. So...
854
00:42:54,951 --> 00:42:59,904
Okay, when I showed up tonight
and you liked how I looked,
855
00:42:59,909 --> 00:43:04,146
I thought maybe while you said
you wanted something different,
856
00:43:04,151 --> 00:43:06,671
you're actually pretty comfortable
with what you already know.
857
00:43:06,676 --> 00:43:08,384
The perfect picture by your side.
858
00:43:09,034 --> 00:43:10,988
But that's not me.
859
00:43:10,993 --> 00:43:15,321
I'm gonna say the wrong thing
and sweat through my clothes
860
00:43:15,326 --> 00:43:17,313
and eat in the middle
of the sidewalk. I...
861
00:43:17,318 --> 00:43:19,529
I want you to be who you are.
862
00:43:19,534 --> 00:43:22,821
All right, you understand
why I ended it with Julien.
863
00:43:22,826 --> 00:43:25,584
Yeah. You couldn't find her anymore.
864
00:43:26,826 --> 00:43:29,726
But have you thought about how
you might have contributed to that?
865
00:43:31,159 --> 00:43:33,904
That you didn't lose her
but she got lost behind you?
866
00:43:33,909 --> 00:43:36,189
I mean, it's really hard to date
the prince of New York
867
00:43:36,194 --> 00:43:38,402
when even he won't admit
that that's who he is.
868
00:43:53,326 --> 00:43:56,493
- Do you mind if I, um...
- Do the right thing?
869
00:43:57,176 --> 00:43:58,259
Never.
870
00:44:00,534 --> 00:44:01,696
Hey, Jules.
871
00:44:01,701 --> 00:44:03,529
- No, thank you.
- I wanna talk.
872
00:44:03,534 --> 00:44:05,868
All right, just really talk.
873
00:44:12,276 --> 00:44:15,393
I know, um...
874
00:44:16,609 --> 00:44:18,943
I know that I said that
I didn't like who you'd become.
875
00:44:19,876 --> 00:44:21,288
I, uh...
876
00:44:21,293 --> 00:44:24,488
I... I definitely should have...
877
00:44:24,493 --> 00:44:26,779
realized and accepted
some responsibility
878
00:44:26,784 --> 00:44:27,868
for my part of that.
879
00:44:29,576 --> 00:44:33,476
Maybe, I was more comfortable
not knowing, because...
880
00:44:34,534 --> 00:44:36,296
You know, if I had looked too closely,
881
00:44:36,301 --> 00:44:38,534
I might see some of myself, too.
882
00:44:39,868 --> 00:44:41,654
I spent so much time...
883
00:44:41,659 --> 00:44:44,640
... putting forward
this idea of me, that I just...
884
00:44:45,576 --> 00:44:47,226
forgot who I was a little.
885
00:44:48,909 --> 00:44:52,193
Like my dad has.
Like everyone has, apparently.
886
00:44:52,743 --> 00:44:54,634
Except for her.
887
00:45:02,326 --> 00:45:03,646
It's no wonder you like her.
888
00:45:07,284 --> 00:45:11,321
I think... You know,
I think that you deserve
889
00:45:11,326 --> 00:45:13,406
someone who sees you, who, um...
890
00:45:15,034 --> 00:45:16,159
sees all of you.
891
00:45:18,359 --> 00:45:20,521
And maybe I needed you to walk away
892
00:45:20,526 --> 00:45:22,443
to see that I could stand on my own.
893
00:45:44,784 --> 00:45:47,179
- Hello?
- Reema? It's Wendy.
894
00:45:47,184 --> 00:45:49,196
I know I shouldn't tell you this,
895
00:45:49,201 --> 00:45:51,729
but a tip came into the Gossip Girl DMs
896
00:45:51,734 --> 00:45:54,446
a few weeks ago about
your husband's former boss,
897
00:45:54,451 --> 00:45:57,071
and Kate didn't want to tell you.
She thought you might get upset.
898
00:45:57,076 --> 00:45:58,646
Oh, my God, really?
899
00:45:58,651 --> 00:46:00,071
What was it?
900
00:46:00,076 --> 00:46:01,488
One of the escorts he hired
901
00:46:01,493 --> 00:46:04,288
was a senior at Constance.
902
00:46:04,293 --> 00:46:06,129
I mean, do with that what you will.
903
00:46:06,134 --> 00:46:07,629
But I just figured you'd want to know
904
00:46:07,634 --> 00:46:10,321
in case you felt compelled
to expose the truth
905
00:46:10,326 --> 00:46:11,829
one final time.
906
00:46:11,834 --> 00:46:15,588
Might even get your
husband's old boss fired,
907
00:46:15,593 --> 00:46:16,759
get his job back.
908
00:46:17,701 --> 00:46:20,718
That's a lot to hear. Uh...
909
00:46:21,659 --> 00:46:23,363
I can't believe Kate didn't tell me.
910
00:46:23,368 --> 00:46:24,588
Which is why I am.
911
00:46:25,493 --> 00:46:28,071
Listen, if you do want
to do something with it,
912
00:46:28,076 --> 00:46:29,513
remember the firewall.
913
00:46:29,518 --> 00:46:32,913
You're protected only at school
during school hours.
914
00:46:32,918 --> 00:46:34,951
We all have the password.
915
00:46:40,826 --> 00:46:46,909
♪ I still dream of all the noise ♪
916
00:46:48,118 --> 00:46:50,004
Should we last-call him
before it's too late?
917
00:46:50,009 --> 00:46:54,268
- Oh, fuck.
- Here.
918
00:46:56,168 --> 00:46:57,954
Maybe it's time to call it a night?
919
00:46:57,959 --> 00:46:59,529
And why would I do that?
920
00:46:59,534 --> 00:47:01,279
Because you're a bit out of control?
921
00:47:01,284 --> 00:47:03,521
That's what you like, isn't it?
To relinquish control.
922
00:47:03,526 --> 00:47:04,947
Or is that only with me.
I tell you what,
923
00:47:04,951 --> 00:47:06,946
let's ask some of your other candidates?
924
00:47:06,951 --> 00:47:09,529
- Max, don't...
- We got... We got Judd.
925
00:47:09,534 --> 00:47:14,071
Uh, Phuc? Robert? Oh, he's cute.
926
00:47:14,076 --> 00:47:16,329
Is that... Is that your phone?
927
00:47:16,334 --> 00:47:17,739
Why is that on your phone? What is this?
928
00:47:17,743 --> 00:47:19,213
He's lying. It's his phone.
929
00:47:19,218 --> 00:47:20,697
He's just really fucked up right now...
930
00:47:20,701 --> 00:47:22,113
Correct. Check.
931
00:47:22,118 --> 00:47:24,979
I am... I'm outside my boundaries now,
932
00:47:24,984 --> 00:47:26,054
just like both of you.
933
00:47:26,059 --> 00:47:28,654
In fact, I am so outside
that I don't know
934
00:47:28,659 --> 00:47:31,154
if you're gonna be able
to hear me when I say
935
00:47:31,159 --> 00:47:33,438
I'm not the only one who fucked up here.
936
00:47:33,443 --> 00:47:34,613
You fucked up, too.
937
00:47:34,618 --> 00:47:37,563
You fucked me. And you wanted to.
938
00:47:37,568 --> 00:47:40,838
God, come on, it is time
that we all stopped hiding
939
00:47:40,843 --> 00:47:43,471
and started being
who we really are, right?
940
00:47:43,476 --> 00:47:46,254
Right? Okay, no more lies.
Only truths. Okay.
941
00:47:46,259 --> 00:47:50,029
So I will go first as
the only truth-teller here.
942
00:47:50,034 --> 00:47:53,813
You guys, you just, you don't
do it for each other anymore.
943
00:47:53,818 --> 00:47:56,321
You just do me. But you can't have me.
944
00:47:56,326 --> 00:47:58,404
Nobody can have me.
945
00:47:58,409 --> 00:48:03,129
I am not even here. I am gone.
And end fucking scene.
946
00:48:06,201 --> 00:48:08,576
♪ The sun is coming out ♪
947
00:48:19,826 --> 00:48:23,071
- Where's Lola?
- I sent her home.
948
00:48:23,076 --> 00:48:25,821
- Oh, to your pied-affair?
- Cute.
949
00:48:25,826 --> 00:48:28,284
And no. To her own apartment.
950
00:48:29,409 --> 00:48:32,279
You know, when you were a kid,
951
00:48:32,284 --> 00:48:35,301
I wanted you to feel like you
were the only woman in my life.
952
00:48:35,868 --> 00:48:36,968
Because you are.
953
00:48:38,243 --> 00:48:39,396
So I made a choice
954
00:48:39,401 --> 00:48:42,629
that I would always keep
my dating life private.
955
00:48:42,634 --> 00:48:46,654
And I think I forgot that you grew up
956
00:48:46,659 --> 00:48:48,068
and can handle the truth.
957
00:48:49,826 --> 00:48:51,359
I couldn't be more sorry.
958
00:48:52,993 --> 00:48:54,754
I never want to lie to you again.
959
00:48:54,759 --> 00:48:58,571
I think that we can both
agree to do better.
960
00:48:58,576 --> 00:49:00,688
That we can live our lives
more honestly,
961
00:49:00,693 --> 00:49:02,401
with ourselves and with each other.
962
00:49:08,826 --> 00:49:10,146
I'd really like to meet her.
963
00:49:19,993 --> 00:49:22,071
So does the Four Block Rule
964
00:49:22,076 --> 00:49:23,988
still apply on the Upper West Side?
965
00:49:23,993 --> 00:49:26,509
I guess that depends on
the subject being discussed.
966
00:49:27,326 --> 00:49:30,006
- What if I whisper it?
- No promises.
967
00:49:30,909 --> 00:49:34,909
I'd really like to kiss you right now.
968
00:50:03,618 --> 00:50:05,459
You put on a real show tonight.
969
00:50:08,659 --> 00:50:10,719
There's another one tomorrow, I'm sure.
970
00:50:12,993 --> 00:50:14,776
I don't appreciate being used.
971
00:50:15,743 --> 00:50:17,801
I had no idea it would
blow up like that.
972
00:50:19,201 --> 00:50:21,321
What did you think would happen?
973
00:50:21,326 --> 00:50:23,446
You know, that my dads would realize
974
00:50:23,451 --> 00:50:25,321
that they were being stupid
and just talk?
975
00:50:25,326 --> 00:50:26,613
But I fucked it up.
976
00:50:26,618 --> 00:50:28,368
No, it would have come out eventually.
977
00:50:29,068 --> 00:50:30,696
It always does.
978
00:50:30,701 --> 00:50:32,572
Yeah, I know. But I just didn't realize
979
00:50:32,576 --> 00:50:34,468
it would hurt this fucking much
when it did.
980
00:50:49,351 --> 00:50:52,309
You know why the play's the thing?
981
00:50:54,159 --> 00:50:57,659
Because it holds up a mirror
to our own lives.
982
00:51:07,034 --> 00:51:10,754
Sometimes it's about staying
true to your private self.
983
00:51:16,493 --> 00:51:20,279
Or leaving your public self behind.
984
00:51:30,543 --> 00:51:34,201
Sometimes, it's about
confronting a painful reality...
985
00:51:40,451 --> 00:51:44,038
... or sublimating
your deepest fantasies.
986
00:51:46,576 --> 00:51:47,618
Hi.
987
00:51:48,159 --> 00:51:49,401
Did you like it?
988
00:51:52,859 --> 00:51:54,109
I didn't...
989
00:51:55,534 --> 00:51:57,326
not like it.
990
00:51:59,468 --> 00:52:02,301
But I never want to do it again. Do you?
991
00:52:02,884 --> 00:52:03,884
Of course not.
992
00:52:06,534 --> 00:52:10,196
- I'm sorry.
- I'm sorry, too.
993
00:52:15,909 --> 00:52:18,576
Isn't it all a performance, anyway?
994
00:52:20,534 --> 00:52:22,034
It's my own fault.
995
00:52:23,368 --> 00:52:25,113
When I got that tip about George's boss,
996
00:52:25,118 --> 00:52:27,488
I couldn't resist posting it.
997
00:52:27,493 --> 00:52:29,863
But at least now you know
your firewall didn't work.
998
00:52:29,868 --> 00:52:31,488
It could've happened to any of us.
999
00:52:31,493 --> 00:52:33,696
We're so sorry it was you.
1000
00:52:33,701 --> 00:52:36,554
And don't worry, I didn't crack
during the interrogation.
1001
00:52:36,559 --> 00:52:37,768
Your identities are safe.
1002
00:52:38,534 --> 00:52:40,034
I'll miss you both.
1003
00:52:47,451 --> 00:52:50,154
Did you turn the firewall back on?
1004
00:52:50,159 --> 00:52:54,246
- God. Why do I feel so terrible?
- We didn't have a choice.
1005
00:52:54,251 --> 00:52:55,704
It was her or us.
1006
00:52:55,709 --> 00:52:57,863
And now, we don't have
to be nervous anymore.
1007
00:52:57,868 --> 00:53:00,071
Wendy's contacts at Horace Mann
and Dalton
1008
00:53:00,076 --> 00:53:02,238
confirmed they'd start
sending in tips, too.
1009
00:53:02,243 --> 00:53:04,154
So did mine at Nightingale and Spence.
1010
00:53:04,159 --> 00:53:06,446
Which means Gossip Girl's gone citywide.
1011
00:53:06,451 --> 00:53:08,196
The target's off our back.
1012
00:53:08,201 --> 00:53:10,734
And impossible to trace.
Bigger than ever.
1013
00:53:11,784 --> 00:53:14,526
She used the tip. We didn't make her.
1014
00:53:14,904 --> 00:53:15,904
Didn't we, though?
1015
00:53:21,934 --> 00:53:24,029
Yet no costume can conceal
1016
00:53:24,034 --> 00:53:26,071
what you don't want me to see.
1017
00:53:26,076 --> 00:53:28,788
Sooner or later, the clothes come off,
1018
00:53:28,793 --> 00:53:33,404
the makeup washes away
and the real you emerges.
1019
00:53:33,409 --> 00:53:38,154
Your secrets, your sins,
your truths, your lies.
1020
00:53:38,159 --> 00:53:41,029
- Hi. Where have you been?
- It's story time!
1021
00:53:41,034 --> 00:53:43,314
Peak posting hour is about to strike.
1022
00:53:44,534 --> 00:53:46,151
I left my phone at home.
1023
00:53:48,243 --> 00:53:52,321
Um... Okay. No one panic.
1024
00:53:52,326 --> 00:53:53,613
I'll log in on my phone.
1025
00:53:53,618 --> 00:53:55,238
And we can download your presets.
1026
00:53:55,243 --> 00:53:58,126
- And we can figure it out...
- I left it intentionally.
1027
00:53:58,743 --> 00:54:00,434
Consider me offline today.
1028
00:54:03,493 --> 00:54:06,871
Okay, you tried. But Zoya's
clearly not playing along.
1029
00:54:06,876 --> 00:54:09,154
It's time that we reinstate
order as it once was.
1030
00:54:09,159 --> 00:54:11,039
And that means JC on top, alone.
1031
00:54:12,118 --> 00:54:15,151
Oh! That Buffal-ho needs to go.
1032
00:54:17,226 --> 00:54:22,651
I have intel. If we used it,
Little Z would be sistory.
1033
00:54:23,109 --> 00:54:24,109
Dites-moi.
1034
00:54:25,167 --> 00:54:26,946
If they don't start a war themselves,
1035
00:54:26,951 --> 00:54:28,471
we'll just have to start one for them.
1036
00:54:29,743 --> 00:54:32,241
All the world may be a stage,
1037
00:54:32,246 --> 00:54:36,488
but on the Upper East Side,
the play doesn't matter.
1038
00:54:36,493 --> 00:54:38,693
It's all in the execution.
1039
00:54:39,276 --> 00:54:42,154
XOXO, Gossip Girl.
1040
00:56:44,000 --> 00:56:47,500
- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.addic7ed.com -
80294
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