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1
00:00:02,377 --> 00:00:04,377
When are those navy jets flying over?
2
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,212
I'm tired of staring at the sky.
3
00:00:06,297 --> 00:00:08,127
It's blue! I get it!
4
00:00:08,216 --> 00:00:10,756
Relax. They're coming.
5
00:00:11,469 --> 00:00:13,259
In the meantime, let's enjoy the moment
6
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:14,886
and allow the vastness of the sky
7
00:00:14,973 --> 00:00:17,773
remind us how insignificant we are.
8
00:00:19,102 --> 00:00:22,232
I've seen you with your shirt off.
I know how insignificant you are.
9
00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,648
Crash, quit making fun
of Pesto's baby arms.
10
00:00:25,734 --> 00:00:26,694
Thanks, Wyatt.
11
00:00:27,402 --> 00:00:29,452
If those jets don't fly over soon,
12
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:32,239
I am going to launch into an angry tirade
13
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:36,043
and the language
is gonna get pretty PG-13.
14
00:00:36,119 --> 00:00:37,449
-[inhales deeply]
-[jets zooming]
15
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:43,537
-[angry shouting]
-[loud jets passing]
16
00:00:45,170 --> 00:00:48,630
...and they'll have to pry
my foot out with a crowbar,
17
00:00:48,715 --> 00:00:52,085
then wipe the crowbar off with a tissue.
18
00:00:53,136 --> 00:00:54,506
So when are those jets coming?
19
00:00:55,138 --> 00:00:56,508
Forget the jets.
20
00:00:56,598 --> 00:01:00,518
On Saturday, an aircraft carrier's docking
in the harbor. That'll be way cooler.
21
00:01:00,602 --> 00:01:03,652
Even better than the time
I saw that flying horse.
22
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,074
Pesto, that was a dream.
23
00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:07,189
No, it wasn't.
24
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:08,315
You were there...
25
00:01:08,401 --> 00:01:09,861
With Jay-Z,
26
00:01:09,944 --> 00:01:11,614
and we won the world series.
27
00:01:12,697 --> 00:01:15,367
Now that I say it out loud,
it might have been a dream.
28
00:01:16,701 --> 00:01:19,451
I think that we can climb up on the roof
and watch the carrier from there.
29
00:01:19,537 --> 00:01:22,667
Or we could build a luxury box.
30
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,539
Don't worry. I know a guy.
31
00:01:25,919 --> 00:01:27,999
Here's what I'm gonna do for you, guys.
32
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,088
[spits]
33
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:31,882
I'm gonna build you
a state-of-the-art luxury box,
34
00:01:31,966 --> 00:01:34,756
built entirely
with titanium beveled glass.
35
00:01:34,844 --> 00:01:35,974
And here's the best part:
36
00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:39,641
It's only gonna cost you $140,000.
37
00:01:40,892 --> 00:01:42,352
Or if you want to be cheapskates,
38
00:01:42,435 --> 00:01:44,055
I'll tie a rope
to that bench seat over there
39
00:01:44,145 --> 00:01:45,355
and hoist in the air, five bucks.
40
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:47,226
That's a great idea.
41
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,277
I mean... [sniffs]
42
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:51,899
[tough-guy accent]
Hey, that's a great idea. [spits]
43
00:01:51,986 --> 00:01:54,066
Great. Here are the blueprints.
44
00:01:54,155 --> 00:01:56,315
You mooks get started.
I'm on my lunch break.
45
00:01:58,034 --> 00:01:59,624
Egg salad?
46
00:01:59,703 --> 00:02:01,623
I hate egg salad!
47
00:02:01,705 --> 00:02:04,865
Why do I keep making myself egg salad?
48
00:02:06,835 --> 00:02:09,245
[hat pops] All right. Back to work.
49
00:02:09,337 --> 00:02:11,717
Crash, you might want to leave
your hard hat on.
50
00:02:11,798 --> 00:02:14,378
Hey, I'm the expert here.
51
00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,967
I've been doing this
since two minutes ago.
52
00:02:17,053 --> 00:02:19,683
-[grunts]
-[clangs, thuds]
53
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,732
[groans] See?
54
00:02:22,809 --> 00:02:26,269
That would have broken
a perfectly good hard hat.
55
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:34,448
♪ Let me tell you about the Bernsteins ♪
56
00:02:34,529 --> 00:02:36,159
♪ Yo, I'ma let you finish ♪
57
00:02:36,239 --> 00:02:37,949
-♪ But ding-dong ♪
-♪ Who's that? ♪
58
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,123
♪ Yo, it's Crash at the door ♪
59
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,790
♪ Don't wait for you to openKick it down hard core ♪
60
00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,080
♪ A purple with a 'tudeWhere your mom hide the food? ♪
61
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,834
-♪ In the fridge ♪
-♪ I'ma eat it then we tear it up, dude
62
00:02:46,916 --> 00:02:49,246
♪ No make-up or feelingsTea parties or dolls ♪
63
00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:50,496
♪ Now it's ninjas and football ♪
64
00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,757
-♪ And face slams ♪
-♪ Good call ♪
65
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,088
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
66
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,343
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
67
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:55,804
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
68
00:02:55,884 --> 00:02:56,724
♪ What he said ♪
69
00:02:56,801 --> 00:02:58,141
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
70
00:02:58,219 --> 00:02:59,469
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
71
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:00,934
♪ Crash and Bernstein ♪
72
00:03:01,014 --> 00:03:01,974
♪ What he said ♪
73
00:03:02,057 --> 00:03:04,177
♪ It's war against awesomeBut awesome's gotta soar ♪
74
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:06,937
-♪ I'll be grounded forever ♪
-♪ That's what friends are for ♪
75
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,230
♪ Crash and BernsteinCrash and Bernstein ♪
76
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:10,984
-♪ Crash and Bern... ♪
-♪ I said "Stein" ♪
77
00:03:11,066 --> 00:03:12,686
♪ What he said ♪
78
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,032
[chuckles]
79
00:03:16,863 --> 00:03:19,243
♪ Kick it down hardcore ♪
80
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,122
Another accident?
81
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:26,082
Letting the wrestling coach
teach science was not a good idea.
82
00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,044
Are you kidding?
83
00:03:28,124 --> 00:03:32,634
Yesterday, he singed his nose hair off
with a Bunsen burner.
84
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:35,132
The man's a genius.
85
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:36,625
Morning, class.
86
00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:40,386
Let's all put yesterday's
unfortunate incident behind us.
87
00:03:41,513 --> 00:03:42,603
[gasps]
88
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:46,521
Oh! That is remarkable.
89
00:03:46,601 --> 00:03:48,731
It is a wasteland up there.
90
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,056
Do not put your finger in there.
91
00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:53,527
Oh, I would never.
92
00:03:54,192 --> 00:03:55,032
[grunts]
93
00:03:56,653 --> 00:03:58,453
Whoo! Oof!
94
00:03:58,530 --> 00:03:59,450
Ha!
95
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:00,911
Okay, listen up.
96
00:04:00,990 --> 00:04:02,990
Today we're gonna learn
about the human body.
97
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,866
Now, I know this subject
can be uncomfortable,
98
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,374
but we're all mature here.
99
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:08,825
I don't want any giggling.
100
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,246
[giggling]
101
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:14,248
Sorry.
102
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,917
Okay, serious now.
103
00:04:16,548 --> 00:04:19,378
[snorting laugh]
104
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:21,047
I did not expect pictures.
105
00:04:22,012 --> 00:04:23,352
This could take a while.
106
00:04:23,430 --> 00:04:25,930
Took coach two days
to tell us how to wear a cup.
107
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:29,056
I still say he taught us
to put it on the wrong place.
108
00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:31,104
Why else would it have these ear straps?
109
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:35,228
Let's just skip to the assignment.
110
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:37,066
Today we're gonna learn
that all living things
111
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:38,782
are dependent upon one another,
112
00:04:38,862 --> 00:04:40,282
none more so than babies.
113
00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,283
So you're all going to take home--
114
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,525
A baby? Yes!
115
00:04:44,617 --> 00:04:46,867
Do they come with their own poop
or is that sold separately?
116
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:51,915
Not a baby. You'll each get an egg
to take care of as if it's your child.
117
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,170
You break it, you fail, so be careful.
118
00:04:54,252 --> 00:04:57,672
I can be careful. I'm having a baby!
119
00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,836
Do you hear that? I'm having a baby!
120
00:05:00,925 --> 00:05:02,045
Baby, baby, baby!
121
00:05:02,135 --> 00:05:03,925
-[glass breaks]
-Ha ha!
122
00:05:04,596 --> 00:05:06,676
What do you say I break
your egg now and give you the "F"?
123
00:05:06,765 --> 00:05:09,385
I'm no cheater. I wanna earn my "F."
124
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,726
Oh, oh, shouldn't have buttered my hands.
125
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:14,441
Whoop. [sighs]
126
00:05:16,024 --> 00:05:17,574
[laughs]
127
00:05:17,650 --> 00:05:20,570
I bet you all thought
I was gonna break my egg.
128
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:21,863
-Wrong!
-[egg cracks]
129
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,529
Whoop, someone's getting an "F."
130
00:05:26,284 --> 00:05:27,544
[whispers loudly] It's you.
131
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,753
What are you putting on your egg?
132
00:05:36,836 --> 00:05:39,416
Sunblock. My family's prone to moles.
133
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:42,087
Where's your egg?
134
00:05:42,175 --> 00:05:44,175
Oh, I plopped him in front of the TV.
135
00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:46,220
It's a little parenting tip
I picked up from my mom.
136
00:05:47,222 --> 00:05:48,972
Oh, time to change the channel.
137
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,653
Careful, Crash.
You're gonna break your egg.
138
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:57,860
[scoffs] How would that happen?
139
00:05:57,941 --> 00:06:01,191
It's got a protective shell,
like a light bulb.
140
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:05,695
Besides, I've been taking
good care of this thing all day.
141
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,663
Three, two, one.
142
00:06:09,744 --> 00:06:12,464
Egg-nition! [laughs]
143
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,579
Get it? Egg-nition.
144
00:06:13,665 --> 00:06:15,245
Blast off!
145
00:06:15,333 --> 00:06:17,043
[grunts]
146
00:06:19,546 --> 00:06:21,006
Don't worry. Daddy's got you.
147
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,219
Here you go.
148
00:06:23,133 --> 00:06:24,183
Oh, there you are.
149
00:06:25,593 --> 00:06:28,433
Well, I'm protecting my egg.
150
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:30,675
When Amanda sees how responsible I am,
151
00:06:30,765 --> 00:06:33,385
she'll realize what a great father
I'll be to our children:
152
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:36,806
Nancy and Blaine Bernstein.
153
00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,191
I'm taking her name.
154
00:06:39,274 --> 00:06:40,114
Oh.
155
00:06:40,775 --> 00:06:43,945
Crash, did you eat my sunglasses again?
156
00:06:45,196 --> 00:06:47,066
Hey, Amanda. Nice bathing suit.
157
00:06:47,157 --> 00:06:51,327
Tsk! For once in your life,
could you try and play it cool?
158
00:06:51,411 --> 00:06:52,451
I'm cool.
159
00:06:52,537 --> 00:06:55,287
Hey, Pesto, is that sunscreen?
Will you sub some on my back?
160
00:06:55,373 --> 00:06:56,373
-[gasps]
-[egg cracks]
161
00:06:57,042 --> 00:06:58,422
Aw, man.
162
00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:05,427
I can't believe I'm failing P.E.
163
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,638
Just because I can't dodge a dumb ball.
164
00:07:07,719 --> 00:07:09,679
Yes, sweetie, the ball is dumb.
165
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:10,763
Now dodge!
166
00:07:11,681 --> 00:07:13,271
You didn't dodge.
167
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,482
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
168
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:18,440
Cleo! I'm your mom.
169
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,481
I just wanna help you pass gym.
170
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:22,027
Here comes the heat.
171
00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:23,689
Bingo!
172
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,033
I don't understand
why you don't like this game.
173
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,663
It's a lot of fun.
174
00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:30,776
Oh, okay, all right.
175
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:34,077
Here, you throw one at me
176
00:07:34,162 --> 00:07:36,252
and I'll just stand here.
177
00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:37,831
[deep breath, grunts]
178
00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,246
Catchies, you're out!
179
00:07:40,001 --> 00:07:41,041
[laughing]
180
00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,461
Ow. [grunts]
181
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,295
You really do stink at dodgeball.
182
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:50,354
-Crash!
-[Mel] Dodge it. Dodge it! That's it.
183
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:54,058
Dodge! Attagirl!
Crash, step aside. Let me try that thing.
184
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,390
-[laughs]
-Ow!
185
00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:58,141
♪ Kick it down hardcore ♪
186
00:07:58,228 --> 00:08:00,148
Okay, whose egg survived?
187
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,692
Only the girls, that's what I thought.
188
00:08:02,774 --> 00:08:04,154
Men are useless, right, ladies?
189
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:06,073
Hey, what about us?
190
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,822
We didn't break our eggs.
Our hands are up.
191
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:11,825
Really? I just figured
you had to go the bathroom.
192
00:08:11,908 --> 00:08:14,118
I don't need to raise
my hand to go to the bathroom.
193
00:08:14,202 --> 00:08:15,082
Watch.
194
00:08:16,079 --> 00:08:20,039
[straining]
195
00:08:21,292 --> 00:08:22,502
Sorry to disappoint you, coach.
196
00:08:22,585 --> 00:08:24,795
Guess some of us
are just more responsible than you think.
197
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,506
Crud.
198
00:08:28,133 --> 00:08:31,223
Time of death: 1:42. Grade: "F."
199
00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:32,972
I win.
200
00:08:33,054 --> 00:08:35,474
I'm proud of you, Crash.
Someday you'll make a great father.
201
00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:37,387
I will? Huh.
202
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:39,345
All right, everybody.
Put your eggs in the bucket.
203
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:41,266
Crash, scramble that sucker.
204
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:42,654
[laughs]
205
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,531
[gasps]
206
00:08:47,610 --> 00:08:49,700
[dramatic music]
207
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,159
No, I can't do it!
208
00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,579
This is my baby!
209
00:08:54,659 --> 00:08:56,079
Crash Jr.
210
00:08:56,161 --> 00:09:00,461
I named him after my favorite person
in the whole world.
211
00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,212
Robert Downey Jr.
212
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:10,340
[strains]
213
00:09:10,425 --> 00:09:11,335
[grunts]
214
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,350
Crud.
215
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,811
You're supposed to be helping me
with this luxury box.
216
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,391
Come on. Grab the rope and help.
217
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,386
No can do. I'm a dad now.
218
00:09:23,980 --> 00:09:25,520
Is that a baby pouch?
219
00:09:26,149 --> 00:09:27,229
It is now.
220
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:28,607
It used to be a drink holder.
221
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:34,161
When you become a father,
your priorities change.
222
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,120
I'm gonna stay
as close to Crash Jr. as I can.
223
00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:40,162
-You know he's an egg?
-Oh, yeah, total egghead.
224
00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:41,406
Takes after his pop.
225
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:44,708
He already knows
the names of all three planets--
226
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:46,043
Even Europe!
227
00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:49,589
Now come on.
This luxury box was your idea.
228
00:09:49,673 --> 00:09:51,473
And the aircraft carrier
is coming in two days.
229
00:09:51,549 --> 00:09:52,759
You don't wanna miss it.
230
00:09:52,842 --> 00:09:56,432
What I don't wanna miss
is a moment of Junior's life.
231
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:57,393
Which reminds me...
232
00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,643
-[grunts] Ahh.
-[chalk squeaks]
233
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:04,096
They grow up so slow.
234
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:06,146
[sighs]
235
00:10:06,815 --> 00:10:08,315
You wouldn't understand, Bernstein.
236
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,690
You're not a dad. Come on, Junior.
237
00:10:11,736 --> 00:10:14,196
Fine. Then I guess
I'll just raise the seat by myself.
238
00:10:19,869 --> 00:10:20,749
Yes!
239
00:10:21,329 --> 00:10:22,539
-[metal squeaks]
-No.
240
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,752
No, no, no, no.
241
00:10:29,671 --> 00:10:31,551
Crash, a little help?
242
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,091
No, thanks. I'm good.
243
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:35,968
No, Crash. Crash, come back.
244
00:10:37,262 --> 00:10:39,392
♪ Kick it down hardCrash and burn ♪
245
00:10:41,433 --> 00:10:43,103
What are you doing in the kitchen?
246
00:10:43,184 --> 00:10:45,314
I eat here. Gross!
247
00:10:46,521 --> 00:10:49,651
I just wanted to show you
I can be a responsible father.
248
00:10:49,733 --> 00:10:52,243
Meet our goldfish. Isn't he adorable?
249
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:54,531
It's got your eyes.
250
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:58,449
You really need to work on your flirting.
251
00:10:58,533 --> 00:11:00,623
-Really?
-Not with me!
252
00:11:01,536 --> 00:11:02,696
I just wanted to show you
253
00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,657
that, one day,
I could take care of our children,
254
00:11:04,748 --> 00:11:06,038
just like I took care of this fish.
255
00:11:06,124 --> 00:11:08,214
-Pesto, it's dead.
-What?
256
00:11:09,419 --> 00:11:10,839
This is tragic.
257
00:11:12,922 --> 00:11:14,262
We should comfort each other.
258
00:11:16,009 --> 00:11:17,299
Let me be your rock.
259
00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:21,306
Or you could be my rock.
260
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:23,479
I'm comfortable with a strong woman.
261
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,477
Just ask my mother.
262
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:30,653
Um, "Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
263
00:11:32,942 --> 00:11:36,532
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
264
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:41,077
All the king's horses
and all the king's men..."
265
00:11:42,660 --> 00:11:43,500
[yelps]
266
00:11:43,995 --> 00:11:47,205
Um, "...lived happily ever after."
267
00:11:47,290 --> 00:11:49,330
The end. [shudders]
268
00:11:49,834 --> 00:11:52,254
-[doorbell rings]
-Doorbell!
269
00:11:52,337 --> 00:11:54,167
You don't have to say it every time.
270
00:11:54,255 --> 00:11:55,915
-Say what?
-Doorbell.
271
00:11:56,007 --> 00:11:57,127
Doorbell!
272
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:58,427
[laughs]
273
00:11:58,510 --> 00:12:00,600
Did you hear that?
Your old man's still got it.
274
00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:03,559
Oh! That must be Junior's teacher.
275
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,560
It's time for his violence lesson.
276
00:12:06,226 --> 00:12:07,846
You mean "violin lesson."
277
00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:10,356
No, violence.
278
00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:11,478
[grunts]
279
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:14,364
-Oh!
-[laughs]
280
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,532
-Huh!
-Yahhhh!
281
00:12:16,611 --> 00:12:17,821
[grunts, laughs]
282
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:21,124
Ugh, ugh. Pay attention, Junior.
283
00:12:21,199 --> 00:12:23,449
You'll need to know
this for your recital next week.
284
00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:26,499
Same time tomorrow, Claude?
285
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,084
[laughs]
286
00:12:35,714 --> 00:12:37,264
I talked to your gym teacher.
287
00:12:37,340 --> 00:12:40,340
All she wants is for you
to be able to do one physical activity
288
00:12:40,427 --> 00:12:42,967
for 40 minutes and you'll pass P.E.
289
00:12:43,054 --> 00:12:46,564
I've done physical activity
for 40 minutes!
290
00:12:46,641 --> 00:12:49,061
-In a row.
-Oh.
291
00:12:50,186 --> 00:12:51,306
Come on, let's try yoga.
292
00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:52,516
We'll start with an easy one.
293
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,275
This is called Sun Salutation.
294
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:00,199
Ow!
295
00:13:00,864 --> 00:13:02,914
Cleo, it's just raising your arms
above your head.
296
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:04,241
How out of shape are you?
297
00:13:05,243 --> 00:13:07,083
Sorry, everyone. Sorry.
298
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:10,920
Just tossing the old pigskin with Junior.
299
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:15,339
Crash, your stupid egg
can't catch a football.
300
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,630
Oh, yeah? Watch this.
301
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,089
Hm-mm, maybe you're right.
302
00:13:23,178 --> 00:13:24,348
Maybe he's a punter.
303
00:13:25,305 --> 00:13:28,095
[gasps] Football. That's a great idea.
304
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:29,353
Cleo, honey, go deep.
305
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,314
-Okay.
-Okay.
306
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:36,265
She's not coming back.
307
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:37,188
Nah.
308
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:42,410
♪ Kick it down hardcore ♪
309
00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:44,739
-Crash, have you--
-[Crash] Hey!
310
00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:48,334
Meet Crash Junior's new pet: Hondo.
311
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:51,081
He likes going to the bathroom indoors
and eating your underpants.
312
00:13:51,748 --> 00:13:52,788
Not in that order.
313
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:55,250
Why is there a bale of hay In the hall?
314
00:13:55,335 --> 00:13:56,745
[gasps] Wha--
315
00:13:56,836 --> 00:14:00,376
[stuttering]
316
00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,045
Way to go, Crash. You finally broke Mom.
317
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,760
You need to get rid of that egg.
318
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:10,231
Crash loves it. I can't get rid of it.
319
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:11,598
It'd be like you getting rid of me.
320
00:14:12,435 --> 00:14:16,515
If you did to my shoes
what that pony is doing in yours,
321
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:18,476
-I'd consider it.
-What?
322
00:14:18,566 --> 00:14:20,316
Those are my new high tops.
323
00:14:20,402 --> 00:14:23,072
And he filled them! Crash, stop him!
324
00:14:23,697 --> 00:14:25,067
No can do.
325
00:14:25,156 --> 00:14:27,656
Once Hondo starts,
there's no stopping him.
326
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:29,412
-[whickers]
-He's like a horse!
327
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,293
Okay.
328
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,461
I'll get rid of the egg.
You get rid of the pony.
329
00:14:33,540 --> 00:14:36,580
Deal, except you also get rid of the pony.
330
00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:42,092
♪ Let me hear you say Crash, Crash ♪
331
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:45,263
Remember, Junior, eyes on the ball.
332
00:14:47,303 --> 00:14:49,563
Oh, yeah. Got all of that one.
333
00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,603
Step aside, Pesto. I'm killing that egg.
334
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:54,564
Hey, I have to warn you.
335
00:14:54,644 --> 00:14:55,944
If we get caught, I'm talking.
336
00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,227
Hey, Crash.
337
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:01,565
Look at you playing with your little son.
338
00:15:01,651 --> 00:15:03,611
Hey, Junior, What's up?
339
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,155
Tickle tickle tickle tickle.
340
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:07,068
[exaggerated gasp] Oh, no!
341
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,657
What have I done? I'm an egg killer!
342
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,083
Oh, well,
want to go play some video games?
343
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:14,581
I already know too much.
344
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,456
Don't worry about it.
345
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:20,343
That's why I had a safety net installed.
346
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,344
-Seriously?
-Yup.
347
00:15:24,424 --> 00:15:26,934
I mean, thank goodness!
348
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:29,100
Hey, that's a nice net.
Can I see it for a second?
349
00:15:29,179 --> 00:15:30,009
Sure.
350
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,193
Oh, no, what have I done?
351
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:37,228
I'm an egg killer, again!
352
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:39,232
Relax, Bernstein.
353
00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,440
That's why I installed a safety-net net.
354
00:15:50,867 --> 00:15:52,537
Why are we doing this?
355
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,619
Because your sister is failing P.E.
356
00:15:55,205 --> 00:15:56,205
How is that possible?
357
00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:58,079
Hyuah! Ow!
358
00:15:58,166 --> 00:15:59,076
Oh.
359
00:16:00,919 --> 00:16:02,049
I get it.
360
00:16:03,838 --> 00:16:05,548
Ooh, a boxing match.
361
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,392
My money's on the one
with no arms that can't move.
362
00:16:10,011 --> 00:16:12,561
[grunts]
363
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,928
How would you like to help us out?
364
00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:18,017
Ah, sure.
365
00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:21,357
Bobbity, bobbity, bobbity, bobbity,
366
00:16:21,439 --> 00:16:22,939
bobbity, bobbity, ouchity.
367
00:16:23,608 --> 00:16:26,648
Okay, Cleo, you can stop now.
I think you'll be able to pass gym.
368
00:16:26,736 --> 00:16:28,566
Oh, I'm going for extra credit.
369
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:32,525
What? Ugh, oh!
Stopity pleasity, stopity. [sobbing]
370
00:16:32,617 --> 00:16:34,827
-[doorbell rings]
-[Crash] Doorbell!
371
00:16:34,911 --> 00:16:36,201
We all heard it.
372
00:16:38,957 --> 00:16:40,577
I brought my nana's parakeet.
373
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,537
You know
I must be good at taking care of things
374
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:43,877
'cause she trusted me with it.
375
00:16:43,962 --> 00:16:45,382
The cage is empty.
376
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,303
What?
377
00:16:47,966 --> 00:16:49,046
Aw, man.
378
00:16:49,592 --> 00:16:51,592
Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
379
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:56,180
[snoring]
380
00:17:01,354 --> 00:17:06,154
[dramatic music playing]
381
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:07,284
[crashes]
382
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:08,858
Ow.
383
00:17:09,946 --> 00:17:13,486
[clattering]
384
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:15,912
[shrieks]
385
00:17:15,994 --> 00:17:18,164
Why don't you just turn on the light?
386
00:17:19,497 --> 00:17:20,787
Ninjas don't need lights.
387
00:17:20,874 --> 00:17:22,504
We have cat-like reflexes.
388
00:17:22,584 --> 00:17:24,254
Whoo! Whoo! Shya!
389
00:17:24,336 --> 00:17:25,456
Ow, ow, ow.
390
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:27,005
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
391
00:17:27,088 --> 00:17:29,128
You're a disgrace to ninjas...
392
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:31,296
And cats.
393
00:17:31,384 --> 00:17:33,264
You should talk, you're failing gym.
394
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:35,005
You should talk, you're failing life.
395
00:17:35,096 --> 00:17:37,636
-[scoffs]
-[alarm warbling]
396
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,894
How does Crash know
how to build a laser beam?
397
00:17:39,976 --> 00:17:42,146
He thinks orange juice
comes out of a cow.
398
00:17:42,854 --> 00:17:45,364
[voice] Warning, warning.Step back from the egg.
399
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,610
My voice will get louderevery five seconds.
400
00:17:48,693 --> 00:17:50,203
Now it's even louder!
401
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:52,448
And it wasn't even five seconds!
402
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,950
[siren]
403
00:17:55,700 --> 00:17:56,790
It's nothing personal.
404
00:17:56,868 --> 00:17:59,578
Crash is my brother,
and it's my job to look out for him.
405
00:18:01,623 --> 00:18:04,213
When did he have time
to take these pictures?
406
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,378
Wait, that waterslide's in Seattle.
407
00:18:10,340 --> 00:18:11,470
I can't do this...
408
00:18:12,467 --> 00:18:13,297
Not without butter.
409
00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:17,603
Here we go.
410
00:18:22,894 --> 00:18:25,444
I see you found Junior's body double.
411
00:18:26,064 --> 00:18:28,824
As a parent, you can't be too careful.
412
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,690
-Heh.
-[sappy music playing]
413
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,397
When you have a little one,
414
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:35,817
you have to cherish
every moment, Bernstein.
415
00:18:35,907 --> 00:18:37,277
Before you know it...
416
00:18:37,367 --> 00:18:38,987
[tearfully] They'll be off to college
417
00:18:39,077 --> 00:18:40,947
and I'll never see him ever again.
418
00:18:41,037 --> 00:18:44,787
My life will go back
to exactly as it was before.
419
00:18:44,874 --> 00:18:48,044
-[wailing]
-[music stops]
420
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,088
What did you say?
421
00:18:49,754 --> 00:18:52,804
When he goes off to college,
things will go back to normal?
422
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:54,843
Let me start from the top.
423
00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:58,295
[music resumes]
When you have a little one, Bernstein,
424
00:18:58,430 --> 00:19:00,470
you have to cherish every moment.
425
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:03,601
[tearfully] Oh, no. Here I go again.
426
00:19:03,685 --> 00:19:06,475
[bawls]
427
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,740
Hey, Crash.
You got something in the mail.
428
00:19:12,819 --> 00:19:16,609
Ooh. Is it my first installment
for the pineapple of the month club?
429
00:19:16,698 --> 00:19:19,118
Ooh, please let it be cherry flavored.
430
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,990
I hate pineapple.
431
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,905
[gasps] It's better.
432
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,417
Junior's been accepted
to the University of College.
433
00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:29,630
I told you my boy was a genius.
434
00:19:29,711 --> 00:19:32,091
Just like his proud papa.
435
00:19:32,172 --> 00:19:34,592
Congratulations.
Your work as a father is done.
436
00:19:35,175 --> 00:19:37,675
Look, they even sent a bus for him.
437
00:19:38,428 --> 00:19:39,888
There's one seat left.
438
00:19:39,971 --> 00:19:42,641
Can we hurry this up?
My mom needs these eggs back.
439
00:19:42,724 --> 00:19:44,314
She's making spaghetti carbonara.
440
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,345
But he's my baby.
441
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,307
I'm not ready to say goodbye.
442
00:19:50,357 --> 00:19:51,607
Think about his future:
443
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:55,031
Graduating college,
finding his first job...
444
00:19:56,029 --> 00:19:58,319
Who knows?
He could be the first egg president.
445
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:00,279
I don't get your point.
446
00:20:00,950 --> 00:20:01,870
Let me try again.
447
00:20:04,329 --> 00:20:05,289
[sappy music]
448
00:20:05,914 --> 00:20:07,214
Think about his future:
449
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:08,960
Graduating college,
450
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:10,212
Yada yada yada...
451
00:20:10,293 --> 00:20:11,503
First egg president.
452
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:14,506
-[music stops]
-Oh, now I get it.
453
00:20:15,173 --> 00:20:16,263
[sighs] You're right.
454
00:20:16,341 --> 00:20:17,881
Who am I to hold him back?
455
00:20:17,967 --> 00:20:23,097
My boy's going
to the University of College!
456
00:20:23,181 --> 00:20:25,521
Honk honk. Bus is leaving.
457
00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:26,770
[whispers] Dinner's at 6:00.
458
00:20:27,352 --> 00:20:30,022
No, he's too good for the bus.
459
00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:32,065
He's gonna fly.
460
00:20:32,148 --> 00:20:33,818
Make daddy proud.
461
00:20:37,654 --> 00:20:38,744
Do you think he'll call?
462
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,738
He'll probably be focusing
on his studies.
463
00:20:41,825 --> 00:20:42,695
Ah.
464
00:20:45,870 --> 00:20:49,040
Guys, the view is amazing!
465
00:20:49,124 --> 00:20:52,964
The aircraft carrier's going so slow!
466
00:20:53,044 --> 00:20:55,344
You can't even tell it's moving!
467
00:20:56,297 --> 00:20:59,297
This is so boring!
468
00:21:00,010 --> 00:21:02,600
You guys are totally missing it.
469
00:21:02,679 --> 00:21:05,179
Crash, you shouldn't be
up there until we stabilize it.
470
00:21:05,265 --> 00:21:06,135
Wait,
471
00:21:06,766 --> 00:21:08,176
let's see how this plays out.
472
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:10,688
It's fine. Look.
473
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:11,810
[grunts]
474
00:21:11,896 --> 00:21:13,936
This thing's as solid as a...
475
00:21:15,483 --> 00:21:16,653
Um...
476
00:21:17,819 --> 00:21:20,359
I don't suppose you have my hard hat?
477
00:21:20,447 --> 00:21:21,407
[yelps]
478
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,157
-[Crash] Bernstein, a little help?
-No, thanks. I'm good.
479
00:21:28,913 --> 00:21:30,753
[grunting]
480
00:21:33,877 --> 00:21:36,337
♪ Crash and Bern, hard core ♪
481
00:21:37,505 --> 00:21:38,795
♪ Bass, bass ♪
482
00:21:43,303 --> 00:21:44,223
♪ What ♪
483
00:21:47,474 --> 00:21:48,934
♪ That's what friends are for ♪
484
00:21:49,017 --> 00:21:49,927
♪ Crash and Bern ♪
485
00:21:50,018 --> 00:21:51,478
♪ Tear it up, dude ♪
486
00:21:52,854 --> 00:21:53,814
♪ Good call ♪
487
00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,687
♪ Crash and BernCrash and Bern ♪
488
00:21:55,774 --> 00:21:58,824
-♪ I said, "Stein" ♪
-♪ What he said ♪
34301
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