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1
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:07,770
CARRIE: Excuse me.
2
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:09,141
I am Professor Dong.
3
00:00:21,488 --> 00:00:23,258
I have to use the bathroom.
4
00:00:23,323 --> 00:00:25,493
Well, we're almost there.
Can you wait an hour?
5
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:28,099
No, I, like, really have to go.
6
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:29,731
Well, there's a rest area
up ahead.
7
00:00:29,796 --> 00:00:30,696
It's not far, so...
8
00:00:32,933 --> 00:00:34,333
All right.
9
00:00:34,401 --> 00:00:37,441
(phone chimes and rumbles)
10
00:00:41,341 --> 00:00:43,541
Did you post a video
from your cousin's wedding?
11
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:46,578
Maybe.
Why?
12
00:00:46,647 --> 00:00:47,847
Did she text you?
13
00:00:47,915 --> 00:00:49,915
Miranda, why in God's name
would you post that?
14
00:00:49,983 --> 00:00:51,823
Well, 'cause it was funny.
15
00:00:51,885 --> 00:00:53,715
She would like you
to take it down.
16
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:57,457
Okay, Mom, this Carrie video
is, like, the best thing
17
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,994
I've ever posted.
Okay, my account is blowing up.
18
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:01,230
Stop.
19
00:01:01,295 --> 00:01:02,555
Your cousin
was really embarrassed.
20
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,299
She doesn't need to relive
that over and over again.
21
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:05,504
Yeah, I guarantee you
other people
22
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:07,426
‐posted that shit too.
‐ED: Language.
23
00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:09,071
JOANNE: Listen,
she's being attacked.
24
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:10,136
Do you think
she really deserves that
25
00:01:10,204 --> 00:01:12,074
for your online popularity?
26
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:14,680
‐Kind of.
‐Kind of?
27
00:01:14,741 --> 00:01:17,181
Yo, she was the one who was
being all racist and shit.
28
00:01:17,244 --> 00:01:18,484
ED: Hey, language.
29
00:01:18,545 --> 00:01:19,345
Oh, my God, Dad,
30
00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:20,753
can you just back me up here?
31
00:01:22,115 --> 00:01:25,085
Well, I would say that...
32
00:01:25,152 --> 00:01:26,822
nobody is
in the right here, so...
33
00:01:26,887 --> 00:01:28,517
‐(clears throat)
‐Take it down.
34
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,489
No, no,
it's my social media account.
35
00:01:30,557 --> 00:01:32,287
‐I am not asking.
‐Excuse me?
36
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,189
What is this, like,
the government of China?
37
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,201
You can just tell me
what I can and can't post?
38
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:37,333
‐Ed, stop the car.
‐ED: Sure.
39
00:01:37,397 --> 00:01:39,627
Oh, my God, Dad,
don't take her‐‐Dad.
40
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,800
‐JOANNE: Stop the car.
‐Oh, my God.
41
00:01:42,870 --> 00:01:44,370
‐You're being insane.
‐JOANNE: No, I am not.
42
00:01:44,438 --> 00:01:45,938
MIRANDA: Dad,
what are you doing?
43
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:47,136
(chuckles)
Mom!
44
00:01:47,207 --> 00:01:48,537
You look crazy.
You look crazy, Mom.
45
00:01:48,609 --> 00:01:49,879
‐Hey, delete the video.
‐MIRANDA: What are you doing?
46
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:50,913
Delete it.
47
00:01:50,978 --> 00:01:52,208
MIRANDA:
Mom, we're literally on‐‐
48
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:53,479
‐Miranda, delete the video...
‐MIRANDA: Mom!
49
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:54,447
JOANNE: Or I will!
50
00:01:54,515 --> 00:01:55,845
MIRANDA: Mom,
this is child abuse!
51
00:01:55,916 --> 00:01:57,246
‐ED: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
‐MIRANDA: This is child abuse!
52
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,447
(electronic music)
53
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,391
♪ ♪
54
00:02:16,470 --> 00:02:18,310
JOANNE: Can you just stop
staring at your phone
55
00:02:18,372 --> 00:02:20,412
even for a few minutes?
56
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:23,984
I already deleted the video.
Can you just leave me alone?
57
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:32,288
Just look
how nice it is outside,
58
00:02:32,352 --> 00:02:34,022
and you're missing it all.
59
00:02:34,087 --> 00:02:36,217
It's a bunch of trees, Mom.
It's boring.
60
00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:39,861
You know, I think
we should ban devices
61
00:02:39,927 --> 00:02:41,157
from our cottage from now on.
62
00:02:41,228 --> 00:02:42,598
MIRANDA: Oh, my God, whatever.
63
00:02:42,663 --> 00:02:43,833
Okay, then I won't come.
64
00:02:43,897 --> 00:02:46,197
Okay, you know what?
65
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:48,336
If you dislike us so much,
you can forget about us
66
00:02:48,402 --> 00:02:49,942
ever buying you
a phone ever again.
67
00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:51,173
Ugh.
68
00:02:51,238 --> 00:02:52,368
JOANNE: Okay?
No more upgrades,
69
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:53,909
no more replacements
for cracked screens.
70
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,314
That is your last one.
71
00:03:07,721 --> 00:03:09,291
I need to use the bathroom.
72
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,616
Oh, my gosh,
we will be there soon.
73
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,991
No, I need to go
to the bathroom right now.
74
00:03:28,675 --> 00:03:30,235
What is this?
75
00:03:30,310 --> 00:03:32,180
The last toilet
before we get to the cottage.
76
00:03:32,246 --> 00:03:33,846
Well, what toilet?
77
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,454
There.
78
00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:40,594
(eerie music)
79
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:41,624
(crows caw)
80
00:03:41,688 --> 00:03:43,988
Uh, that is not a toilet.
81
00:03:44,057 --> 00:03:46,287
ED: Sure it is.
Read the sign.
82
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:51,574
♪ ♪
83
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:52,502
Seriously?
84
00:03:52,566 --> 00:03:53,926
Well, you have to go,
don't you?
85
00:03:54,001 --> 00:03:56,441
Look, your mom and I were
just in Morocco, remember?
86
00:03:56,503 --> 00:03:59,673
And I can guarantee you
it was way worse over there.
87
00:03:59,740 --> 00:04:02,140
Here, you're gonna need these.
88
00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:06,378
Okay, boomer.
89
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:08,776
ED: Whoa, whoa, hey,
don't call us boomers.
90
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,949
We're Gen X, all right?
91
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,848
Nirvana, "Slacker,"
Woodstock '94.
92
00:04:13,921 --> 00:04:17,121
We were
the original cool generation.
93
00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,291
I can't believe
she just called me a boomer.
94
00:04:24,665 --> 00:04:26,465
Boomer.
95
00:04:26,533 --> 00:04:29,073
This drive sucks.
96
00:04:31,638 --> 00:04:32,738
Oh, my God.
97
00:04:32,806 --> 00:04:33,806
(flies buzzing)
98
00:04:33,874 --> 00:04:36,014
(gags)
99
00:04:40,647 --> 00:04:42,277
Oh, my God.
100
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,451
(sighs)
101
00:04:50,057 --> 00:04:53,187
(phones beeping)
102
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:15,815
Oh!
103
00:05:15,883 --> 00:05:17,853
Oh, shit.
104
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,088
Oh, shit.
Oh, shit.
105
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,592
Oh, fuck.
Oh, fuck.
106
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:23,324
Shit.
107
00:05:31,265 --> 00:05:32,365
(phone chimes)
108
00:05:32,432 --> 00:05:34,432
No.
109
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,441
(breathes deeply)
110
00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:43,184
No, ugh.
111
00:05:43,243 --> 00:05:45,483
(coughs)
Oh.
112
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,620
Okay.
113
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:51,622
(straining audibly)
Oh, my God.
114
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:54,659
(grunts)
Come on.
115
00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:55,961
Get‐‐come here.
116
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,423
Come here,
come here, come here.
117
00:05:57,491 --> 00:05:58,391
(grunts)
118
00:05:58,458 --> 00:05:59,558
‐(phone chimes)
‐Oh, come on.
119
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:03,126
Oh, my God.
Don't fucking look.
120
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,403
Okay, okay.
121
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,080
Okay.
122
00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,750
Ew, ew, ew.
123
00:06:25,819 --> 00:06:28,489
Just‐‐all right, just‐‐
124
00:06:32,759 --> 00:06:34,089
Come on.
125
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,495
Shit.
126
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,001
Ugh, no.
127
00:06:43,470 --> 00:06:44,670
Okay.
128
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,013
Okay.
129
00:07:00,220 --> 00:07:02,060
Okay, um...
130
00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:17,466
(sighs)
131
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:25,751
Okay.
(coughs)
132
00:07:28,081 --> 00:07:31,221
(coughing)
133
00:07:35,722 --> 00:07:38,692
(whines)
Okay, okay, okay.
134
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:42,301
Okay.
135
00:07:48,435 --> 00:07:49,535
Okay, okay.
136
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:59,154
(screams)
137
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:04,650
(sighs)
138
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:07,048
(phone beeping)
139
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,827
She better not be
sitting there on her phone.
140
00:08:11,892 --> 00:08:14,192
(chuckles)
She probably is.
141
00:08:19,099 --> 00:08:21,369
I'm just gonna check on her.
142
00:08:41,989 --> 00:08:43,419
Ed, help me!
143
00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:46,290
‐Jesus, what is happening?
‐JOANNE: She fell in.
144
00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:47,730
ED: She fell‐‐what,
someone leave
145
00:08:47,794 --> 00:08:49,234
‐the seat up or something?
‐JOANNE: It's not funny, Ed!
146
00:08:49,296 --> 00:08:50,596
ED: Hey, I'm not trying
to be funny, Jo!
147
00:08:50,664 --> 00:08:52,304
How else are you supposed
to fall in?
148
00:08:52,366 --> 00:08:54,166
‐JOANNE: (gasps)
‐ED: Oh!
149
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,644
(gags)
Oh, it's worse than Morocco.
150
00:08:55,702 --> 00:08:56,972
‐Okay, baby!
‐ED: What, she's down there?
151
00:08:57,037 --> 00:08:59,267
‐JOANNE: Yeah‐‐Miranda?
‐ED: Sweetie?
152
00:08:59,339 --> 00:09:01,939
Honey, we're gonna get
you out, okay?
153
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:04,079
Oh, my God, she's unconscious.
154
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:08,424
Oh, my God,
fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
155
00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:12,192
Okay, I can't‐‐
okay, I'm gonna grab her arms.
156
00:09:12,252 --> 00:09:14,522
‐Yes, you hold my legs.
‐Okay.
157
00:09:14,588 --> 00:09:16,488
And then I'm gonna‐‐
you're gonna pull us back up.
158
00:09:16,557 --> 00:09:18,127
‐Wait, what?
‐Hold my legs!
159
00:09:18,192 --> 00:09:19,492
‐Okay, okay!
‐Okay, got 'em?
160
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:20,860
‐Do you have them?
‐Yes, got your legs.
161
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,428
Okay, do not drop me.
162
00:09:22,496 --> 00:09:23,426
I won't.
163
00:09:23,497 --> 00:09:24,627
Okay, oh, God.
164
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:26,728
ED: Oh, wow.
165
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,670
JOANNE: (straining)
166
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:32,936
Okay...
167
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:35,606
(coughing)
168
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,536
Okay, I got her!
169
00:09:37,611 --> 00:09:38,411
Okay.
170
00:09:38,478 --> 00:09:39,408
‐JOANNE: Pull, Ed!
‐Pulling.
171
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:41,049
‐JOANNE: Ed, pull!
‐Pulling!
172
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,784
Pull, Ed!
(coughs)
173
00:09:43,851 --> 00:09:46,651
‐(straining audibly)
‐JOANNE: Pull harder!
174
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:50,888
(coughing)
175
00:09:50,958 --> 00:09:52,788
Here we go.
Got you.
176
00:09:52,860 --> 00:09:55,960
(gags)
Ed, pull.
177
00:09:56,029 --> 00:09:58,799
(straining audibly)
Pulling!
178
00:09:58,866 --> 00:10:00,966
(coughing)
179
00:10:02,503 --> 00:10:04,143
Ugh!
Jo?
180
00:10:05,272 --> 00:10:07,272
Jo, you have
to pull yourself up!
181
00:10:07,341 --> 00:10:08,841
(soft dramatic music)
182
00:10:08,909 --> 00:10:11,039
Jo, my grip is slipping!
183
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,881
♪ ♪
184
00:10:12,946 --> 00:10:14,006
Jo!
185
00:10:14,081 --> 00:10:16,251
♪ ♪
186
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:27,389
Hey‐‐hey, guys?
187
00:10:29,429 --> 00:10:30,399
Oh, no.
12304
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