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Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
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I was a tender
12 years old the first time
3
00:01:19,278 --> 00:01:23,115
I experienced a deep and
painful loss.
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00:01:24,481 --> 00:01:27,185
The cause of her death
is still a mystery to me.
5
00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,288
And I often wonder if there
was anything I could have done
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00:01:31,323 --> 00:01:32,487
to prevent it.
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00:01:33,756 --> 00:01:37,393
I remember finding
her pale, little body floating
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in the cold, cruel water.
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00:01:40,728 --> 00:01:43,762
My mother and stepfather barely
acknowledged what happened,
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00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:48,107
which made the grieving
process even more confusing.
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00:01:48,868 --> 00:01:51,506
Being able to persevere
through this tragic loss
12
00:01:51,541 --> 00:01:56,280
helped me to become
the strong leader I am today.
13
00:01:57,646 --> 00:02:00,779
And that is why I am
the perfect candidate
14
00:02:01,485 --> 00:02:03,518
for Northwestern's
liberal arts program.
15
00:02:05,390 --> 00:02:06,488
Goddamn. I'm good.
16
00:02:07,557 --> 00:02:09,755
Suck my dick, Emily Dickinson.
17
00:02:10,263 --> 00:02:12,527
Madison!
Can you check on the turkey?
18
00:02:22,407 --> 00:02:23,868
Okay.
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00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:27,476
Let's do this.
20
00:02:36,751 --> 00:02:38,256
Haha. Boom.
21
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,917
Honey,
check the temperature first.
22
00:02:40,425 --> 00:02:42,788
Yes, Mom. I got it.
23
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:45,164
Already did that...
24
00:02:45,529 --> 00:02:46,924
Put the rolls in the oven.
25
00:02:46,959 --> 00:02:48,299
Fine.
26
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,270
They're not in the fridge.
27
00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:53,436
No,
they're in the freezer.
28
00:02:56,441 --> 00:02:59,178
Yeah, that would be great.
Actually, that reminds me...
29
00:02:59,444 --> 00:03:01,444
Oh, honey.
Will you also pull out the gin?
30
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,284
It's not in the freezer.
31
00:03:06,319 --> 00:03:07,615
Yeah, no,
it's in the fridge.
32
00:03:07,650 --> 00:03:10,651
Ugh. This house is so backwards.
33
00:03:14,657 --> 00:03:18,428
- Got ya!
- Holy shit! Jimmy!
34
00:03:18,595 --> 00:03:20,430
You scared me!
35
00:03:23,864 --> 00:03:24,863
Mm! Oh, oh.
36
00:03:25,765 --> 00:03:29,604
I am wearing the necklace
you gave me.
37
00:03:30,002 --> 00:03:31,210
I gave you that?
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00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:33,443
This morning!
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00:03:33,478 --> 00:03:34,277
Oh!
40
00:03:34,743 --> 00:03:36,215
It looks so different
outside the box.
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00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:39,614
Honey, did you make sure
that the turkey was 165 degrees?
42
00:03:40,419 --> 00:03:41,583
Madison! I'm speaking to you!
43
00:03:41,618 --> 00:03:43,585
Mm-hmm. Yep. Mom, I checked it.
44
00:03:43,620 --> 00:03:44,817
It's done.
45
00:03:44,852 --> 00:03:46,456
So, honey,
you're sure it's done?
46
00:03:48,493 --> 00:03:50,493
The thermometer said 165.
47
00:03:51,727 --> 00:03:52,726
Well...
48
00:03:53,795 --> 00:03:55,028
Just because it's dark doesn't
mean it's cooked.
49
00:03:55,063 --> 00:03:58,237
165 degrees. How would you know
that when you're doing that?
50
00:03:58,932 --> 00:04:00,734
Because I can read, Mom.
51
00:04:00,769 --> 00:04:02,571
It's all right. I'll just put it
right back in. Excuse me.
52
00:04:02,606 --> 00:04:04,606
- What? Seriously?
- Just for a second.
53
00:04:04,641 --> 00:04:06,308
No, Mom. I checked it.
It's done.
54
00:04:06,343 --> 00:04:07,842
You know what, I just want to put it in,
so we can make sure it's crispy and safe.
55
00:04:07,878 --> 00:04:10,414
- Why don't I help with that, Mrs. Williams?
- No! You do not have to help
56
00:04:10,449 --> 00:04:11,382
with that because it's done.
57
00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:12,383
- Okay. Okay.
- No, it's not done.
58
00:04:12,418 --> 00:04:13,417
Why can you not trust that
I can do anything?
59
00:04:13,452 --> 00:04:15,782
This is not about you.
This is about the turkey.
60
00:04:15,817 --> 00:04:17,619
- The turkey is done!
- The turkey crisps...
61
00:04:17,654 --> 00:04:19,654
Oh my God. Oh! It's so hot!
It's so hot!
62
00:04:52,018 --> 00:04:53,523
This corn is uh...
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00:04:54,493 --> 00:04:55,492
tender.
64
00:04:56,862 --> 00:04:59,892
Yeah. This is a good opportunity
to really appreciate the sides
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00:04:59,927 --> 00:05:03,731
of a dinner and uh...
not focus so much on the turkey.
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00:05:04,437 --> 00:05:05,964
Yeah. Yeah.
67
00:05:06,934 --> 00:05:08,439
Kids make mistakes all the time.
68
00:05:12,676 --> 00:05:15,006
I'm not a kid.
I am 18 years old.
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00:05:15,041 --> 00:05:16,374
And it was an accident, Mom.
70
00:05:16,409 --> 00:05:19,945
- And some might say that you
were involved. Hey. Hey! What...
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00:05:20,717 --> 00:05:21,848
What did everyone do today?
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00:05:22,114 --> 00:05:24,015
Oh! Dad and I built a snowman.
73
00:05:24,050 --> 00:05:27,425
Oh yeah. It's the, uh, lump of snow
outside with my, uh, clothes on.
74
00:05:27,460 --> 00:05:28,591
Well, that's great!
75
00:05:29,961 --> 00:05:32,463
Madison, did you finish that essay
for your college application?
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00:05:32,861 --> 00:05:33,860
Yeah.
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00:05:34,796 --> 00:05:36,665
Yeah, Uncle Andy.
I... I actually did. Um...
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00:05:36,700 --> 00:05:37,633
Great.
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00:05:37,668 --> 00:05:40,097
Mom, did you have a chance
to read it yet?
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00:05:42,739 --> 00:05:43,738
I did.
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00:05:45,544 --> 00:05:46,576
And?
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00:05:48,547 --> 00:05:51,647
Honestly, I don't think there's any
college that's gonna accept that essay.
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00:05:53,013 --> 00:05:54,353
What are you talking about?
84
00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:56,652
Did you really write
about Goldie?
85
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:58,489
Who's Goldie?
86
00:05:58,887 --> 00:06:00,986
You wrote about your
dead goldfish?
87
00:06:01,659 --> 00:06:04,594
Look, I know you're upset with me,
but Madison, you could do better.
88
00:06:04,629 --> 00:06:08,862
I do not even know why
I bothered to ask your opinion
89
00:06:08,897 --> 00:06:09,963
on the essay in the first place.
90
00:06:09,998 --> 00:06:11,997
I mean, you seize every single
opportunity you can
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00:06:12,032 --> 00:06:13,031
to criticize me,
so there's that.
92
00:06:15,805 --> 00:06:18,135
Why didn't you write about the
special bond you have with Heather?
93
00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:19,642
Don't write about me.
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00:06:20,645 --> 00:06:21,310
Look, I don't know
what's taking so long.
95
00:06:21,345 --> 00:06:22,513
It's not like you have a job.
96
00:06:23,649 --> 00:06:25,010
Maybe something more interesting
would happen if you just
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00:06:25,045 --> 00:06:26,044
left the house.
98
00:06:30,622 --> 00:06:34,019
Hey, I was looking
through your photo albums,
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00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:35,757
and mini-Madison was so cute.
100
00:06:36,529 --> 00:06:38,397
Aw. Thanks, Jimmy.
101
00:06:38,663 --> 00:06:40,729
Remember when mini-Madison
wanted to grow up to be a dog?
102
00:06:40,764 --> 00:06:43,897
- Uh-huh.
- Aw, you wanted to be a little mini-muffin?
103
00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,097
Well, there's nothing wrong with
taking social cues
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00:06:46,132 --> 00:06:47,604
from man's best friend.
105
00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:49,166
Mmm, she used to put the food
on the floor
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00:06:49,201 --> 00:06:50,640
and try to eat
without her hands.
107
00:06:50,807 --> 00:06:52,543
Well...
108
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:55,040
Okay, think we're done
with this subject.
109
00:06:55,075 --> 00:06:57,174
We could probably move on now,
right?
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00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,978
Oh my God, she also pooped on
the front lawn.
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00:06:59,013 --> 00:07:00,078
- No, she didn't!
- Dude, yes!
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00:07:00,113 --> 00:07:01,684
- Oh, she did!
- So many times!
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00:07:23,609 --> 00:07:24,707
There you are.
114
00:07:29,846 --> 00:07:31,142
I come bearing gifts.
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00:07:35,852 --> 00:07:36,983
Come on.
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00:07:37,216 --> 00:07:38,952
We were just joking around.
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00:07:51,835 --> 00:07:53,736
I know. They took it
a little too far.
118
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:57,773
But, I like being reminded
of mini-Madison.
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00:08:14,154 --> 00:08:17,287
I'm just so sick of my parents
still treating me like a child.
120
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,564
My mother doesn't appreciate
any of the hard work I'm doing.
121
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:24,261
Heather is a grade-A bitch.
And... and... and Uncle Andy just...
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00:08:24,296 --> 00:08:26,230
It's like he's the only person
who...
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00:08:28,575 --> 00:08:29,607
Seriously?
124
00:08:30,709 --> 00:08:31,708
What?
125
00:08:32,172 --> 00:08:33,776
No, no, no! No, no, no!
Hey, hey, hey!
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00:08:34,141 --> 00:08:36,614
I was listening.
I promise I was listening.
127
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,044
Hey, hey, hey!
128
00:08:38,211 --> 00:08:39,914
Heather is a grade-A bitch.
129
00:08:42,886 --> 00:08:45,590
I'm sorry. Just talk to me.
130
00:08:47,825 --> 00:08:49,154
I don't know. I just...
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00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,695
I just wish
they'd leave me alone.
132
00:08:52,027 --> 00:08:54,192
Like, like,
give me my own space.
133
00:08:54,634 --> 00:08:55,600
Maybe even my own room.
134
00:08:56,064 --> 00:08:58,636
Like, sharing a room with
Heather is not exactly
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00:08:58,671 --> 00:09:01,166
my favorite thing in the world.
You know?
136
00:09:01,641 --> 00:09:03,839
Ugh. I'm 18. Just like let me...
137
00:09:03,874 --> 00:09:05,577
- You know what we need?
- What?
138
00:09:05,975 --> 00:09:07,645
- A vacation.
- Ha. Yeah.
139
00:09:07,944 --> 00:09:09,273
Yeah, that's what...
140
00:09:10,078 --> 00:09:12,650
Whoa, I'm not looking at
my phone. Look. I promise.
141
00:09:12,685 --> 00:09:15,081
No, it's not... it's not that.
142
00:09:16,183 --> 00:09:18,018
There's a light on at
the Becker's house.
143
00:09:19,087 --> 00:09:20,185
And?
144
00:09:20,352 --> 00:09:22,253
And they're not home.
145
00:09:25,324 --> 00:09:26,697
I do not see a light.
146
00:09:27,799 --> 00:09:29,326
Well something
must have turned it off.
147
00:09:30,762 --> 00:09:33,132
- Maybe the house is haunted.
- Yeah. Definitely.
148
00:09:33,167 --> 00:09:35,673
Hey! It makes sense. Ghosts mess
with lights all the time.
149
00:09:35,708 --> 00:09:36,607
It's like a common fact.
150
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:38,302
We should go over there
and check it out.
151
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,043
You want to go
into the haunted house?
152
00:09:44,046 --> 00:09:45,980
It's not actually haunted,
Jimmy.
153
00:09:46,917 --> 00:09:48,785
There is no way you're going
to convince me
154
00:09:48,985 --> 00:09:50,248
to go into a haunted house.
155
00:09:55,992 --> 00:09:58,157
Mr. and Mrs. Becker?
156
00:10:01,800 --> 00:10:03,701
It's Madison.
157
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:04,999
Hello?
158
00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,746
How long do you think it's been
since someone was here?
159
00:10:16,276 --> 00:10:19,145
A few months. Probably.
160
00:10:20,412 --> 00:10:22,621
Are you sure you saw
a light turn on?
161
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:25,855
Must've been bad wiring.
162
00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:27,956
Or bad ghosts.
163
00:10:35,130 --> 00:10:37,900
Well, if you're convinced there's
ghosts, we could always...
164
00:10:38,199 --> 00:10:40,100
have a seance.
165
00:10:41,169 --> 00:10:44,775
I am convinced there are ghosts.
And I don't want to meet them.
166
00:10:45,404 --> 00:10:47,811
Jimmy. We have two options.
Okay?
167
00:10:48,275 --> 00:10:51,848
Either, we can stay here,
talk to some ghosts,
168
00:10:51,883 --> 00:10:56,017
or, uh, we can go back and
talk to my angry mom.
169
00:10:56,382 --> 00:10:57,887
Ugh.
170
00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:00,318
Fine. Fuck it.
171
00:11:02,058 --> 00:11:03,354
- Let's talk to some ghosts.
- Hm.
172
00:11:11,034 --> 00:11:13,738
What kind of person punches an
innocent snowman in the face?
173
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,301
Oh, chill out, dude.
It looked like your ex-boyfriend.
174
00:11:16,809 --> 00:11:19,040
What? No, it didn't.
What do you want?
175
00:11:19,075 --> 00:11:22,307
Uh, listen. Could you cover for
me and Jimmy for a bit?
176
00:11:23,310 --> 00:11:25,178
I mean, Mom and Dad
are pretty hammered,
177
00:11:25,213 --> 00:11:27,345
Uncle Andy is gonna stay over.
178
00:11:28,084 --> 00:11:29,446
You probably have some time.
179
00:11:30,284 --> 00:11:32,790
Okay. Can you just like stuff
some pillows in my bed?
180
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:34,451
Make it look like I'm sleeping?
181
00:11:35,762 --> 00:11:37,960
I don't know if I want to
traumatize Dad like that again.
182
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:42,360
You're going to prom this year,
right?
183
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:46,430
Well, I would be
honored to supply you
184
00:11:46,465 --> 00:11:50,742
with a bottle of booze
as a token of my appreciation.
185
00:11:51,404 --> 00:11:53,305
- Two.
- Absolutely.
186
00:11:53,340 --> 00:11:54,372
Deal.
187
00:11:58,444 --> 00:12:00,081
Perfect.
188
00:12:00,248 --> 00:12:02,721
What is this?
189
00:12:03,449 --> 00:12:05,020
Oh. It's a Hodag.
190
00:12:05,891 --> 00:12:08,353
- A Ho-bag?
- No. Hodag.
191
00:12:08,927 --> 00:12:11,389
He's a mythical creature.
It's a Northwoods thing.
192
00:12:12,326 --> 00:12:14,458
Hm. Well, whatever it is,
193
00:12:14,493 --> 00:12:17,065
it's going to be our official
seance mascot.
194
00:12:17,463 --> 00:12:19,771
- Oh, shit!
- Jimmy!
195
00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,400
Is it bad luck to break
a ho-bag?
196
00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:30,177
Oh, great Hodag spirit.
197
00:12:31,015 --> 00:12:33,015
We ask for your forgiveness
198
00:12:33,512 --> 00:12:39,516
and help us ward off the evil
spirits present in this house.
199
00:12:43,159 --> 00:12:44,058
And now,
200
00:12:45,194 --> 00:12:48,426
we will drink
the ceremonial Hodag blood.
201
00:12:50,166 --> 00:12:51,429
Is there paint in this?
202
00:12:51,563 --> 00:12:53,904
No. It's beer
with green food dye.
203
00:12:53,939 --> 00:12:55,499
- Ooh. Nice.
- Cheers.
204
00:13:00,143 --> 00:13:03,408
Ah. Okay. Put your hands on
the indicator thing.
205
00:13:09,482 --> 00:13:10,514
What do you want to ask them?
206
00:13:12,320 --> 00:13:15,387
Mm. What they want.
207
00:13:17,127 --> 00:13:18,830
Spirits.
208
00:13:19,998 --> 00:13:21,162
What do you want?
209
00:13:29,601 --> 00:13:30,809
Holy shit.
210
00:13:31,174 --> 00:13:32,943
It's moving.
211
00:13:34,177 --> 00:13:35,176
S.
212
00:13:35,948 --> 00:13:36,847
You're moving this, aren't you?
213
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,180
No! I swear to God,
I'm not moving this.
214
00:13:39,446 --> 00:13:41,545
S, E...
215
00:13:41,580 --> 00:13:43,580
I can't believe it's moving.
216
00:13:43,615 --> 00:13:45,549
S, E...
217
00:13:46,090 --> 00:13:47,254
X.
218
00:13:47,619 --> 00:13:48,926
Sex.
219
00:13:49,357 --> 00:13:50,356
Sex?
220
00:13:51,258 --> 00:13:52,897
Oh, you're saying you want
to have sex?
221
00:13:52,932 --> 00:13:55,163
- Jimmy!
- Hey, I'm fine with it.
222
00:13:55,198 --> 00:13:57,594
But, just to be clear,
for the record, it was your idea.
223
00:13:57,629 --> 00:13:59,937
Oh, it was my idea? Really?
It was? Shut up.
224
00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:01,202
Hodag as my witness.
225
00:14:29,232 --> 00:14:31,001
A Hodag ghost?
226
00:14:32,939 --> 00:14:34,235
That's not good.
227
00:14:39,110 --> 00:14:40,175
Protected.
228
00:14:56,028 --> 00:14:58,358
Whoa! Oh!
Jimmy! Jimmy! Hey, hey!
229
00:14:58,393 --> 00:14:59,898
We gotta get up. Come on.
230
00:15:00,131 --> 00:15:01,064
No, Jimmy. Seriously.
231
00:15:01,099 --> 00:15:03,594
Wake up. Get up. Come on!
232
00:15:03,629 --> 00:15:05,035
Whoa!
233
00:15:18,248 --> 00:15:19,478
Oh, my God.
234
00:15:20,679 --> 00:15:22,382
Do you think anyone else
is in here?
235
00:15:23,550 --> 00:15:25,154
- Is anyone in here?
- Jimmy!
236
00:15:32,559 --> 00:15:34,460
We weren't this high
last night.
237
00:15:38,235 --> 00:15:39,432
Where's their TV?
238
00:15:40,732 --> 00:15:42,402
I think they were robbed.
239
00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:44,503
Do you think they got our weed?
240
00:15:44,703 --> 00:15:46,076
Shit!
241
00:15:46,705 --> 00:15:48,309
The gremlin prostitute's gone.
242
00:15:48,344 --> 00:15:50,949
How did we sleep through
a robbery?
243
00:15:51,314 --> 00:15:52,544
Hodag's revenge.
244
00:15:52,579 --> 00:15:54,678
Okay. Well, we... we have to
call the police.
245
00:15:54,713 --> 00:15:57,714
What? No! No, no,
no, no, no, no, no!
246
00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,551
We can't call the police.
247
00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:01,190
We'll get in trouble
for breaking and entering!
248
00:16:01,225 --> 00:16:02,224
Uh, no, we won't.
249
00:16:03,327 --> 00:16:05,161
But we did. We're trespassers.
We are lawbreakers.
250
00:16:05,328 --> 00:16:07,163
Yeah, but our broken law is less
bad than the robbers' broken law
251
00:16:07,198 --> 00:16:08,692
- so we're good.
- Can we just talk about this?
252
00:16:08,727 --> 00:16:11,002
Jimmy! No! Jimmy! Jimmy! No, no, no.
253
00:16:11,037 --> 00:16:12,437
911. What's your emergency?
254
00:16:12,472 --> 00:16:15,006
- Jimmy!
- Is this an emergency?
255
00:16:15,041 --> 00:16:16,708
Hello? Is anyone there?
256
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,209
- Jimmy, absolutely not!
- I... I can hear you. Is someone hurt?
257
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,440
I'm sending help over...
258
00:16:29,748 --> 00:16:32,650
S... so why did you guys dress up
for Christmas?
259
00:16:33,389 --> 00:16:34,689
- Well, we're concerned citizens...
- Well, it's actually not what...
260
00:16:34,724 --> 00:16:36,057
- ...and we wanted to check out...
- ...it looks like at all.
261
00:16:36,092 --> 00:16:36,824
- ...and we had a seance.
- It was her idea to come over here.
262
00:16:36,859 --> 00:16:39,257
- My idea?
- Enough.
263
00:16:39,292 --> 00:16:41,461
We're gonna have to separate you
two for the rest of the interview.
264
00:16:42,464 --> 00:16:45,003
Also, please wash
your faces before we continue.
265
00:16:47,799 --> 00:16:51,075
Tell me what happened on
the night of December 25th.
266
00:16:51,110 --> 00:16:52,538
Okay.
267
00:16:53,343 --> 00:16:57,147
Wait, so, what time does
night start?
268
00:16:57,644 --> 00:16:59,611
I can't believe
I gotta babysit.
269
00:17:02,385 --> 00:17:05,221
But, I do get to meet a robber
my first day of the job.
270
00:17:05,256 --> 00:17:07,784
Starting off pretty good.
Starting off pretty cool.
271
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,259
I told you.
We didn't rob this place.
272
00:17:10,294 --> 00:17:12,261
- Okay.
- We... we snuck in.
273
00:17:12,296 --> 00:17:16,826
We fell asleep. We woke up,
and we realized it was robbed.
274
00:17:16,861 --> 00:17:18,597
Like, technically,
we helped you guys out.
275
00:17:18,764 --> 00:17:20,731
Okay. All right. Just forget
the part where I said
276
00:17:21,107 --> 00:17:23,536
it was like my first day on the job.
Okay? I'm not that dumb. All right?
277
00:17:23,571 --> 00:17:25,373
I did train for this.
278
00:17:25,408 --> 00:17:27,144
And then the whole thing flew
in my face.
279
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,541
- Oh, my God.
- So they were the ones
280
00:17:28,576 --> 00:17:30,378
- who originally dropped the turkey.
- Mm-hm.
281
00:17:30,413 --> 00:17:33,150
So, you see, it's not my fault
Christmas dinner got ruined.
282
00:17:33,185 --> 00:17:35,515
Yeah. Well,
in this situation, if anything,
283
00:17:35,550 --> 00:17:37,055
you're the Christmas hero.
284
00:17:37,321 --> 00:17:39,288
I know!
285
00:17:39,323 --> 00:17:40,586
- Thank you!
- Man!
286
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:42,687
Why did you enter
the Becker's house?
287
00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:46,460
I know the Beckers.
My family's cabin is next door.
288
00:17:47,199 --> 00:17:50,332
Really? Next door? Interesting.
289
00:17:50,565 --> 00:17:54,171
We thought they would appreciate
us keeping an eye on things.
290
00:17:54,338 --> 00:18:01,343
We needed to investigate and
confirm if the house was haunted.
291
00:18:03,215 --> 00:18:04,841
Okay. Um...
292
00:18:05,382 --> 00:18:07,745
What happened after you entered
the premises?
293
00:18:08,220 --> 00:18:12,585
We made sure the premises
were secured, and they were.
294
00:18:12,620 --> 00:18:16,325
Didn't see anything too crazy
at the time.
295
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,459
We assessed the haunted lights
296
00:18:18,494 --> 00:18:21,726
which were also securely
shut down.
297
00:18:22,267 --> 00:18:25,598
And look, I know the Beckers
wouldn't mind us hanging out.
298
00:18:25,633 --> 00:18:30,438
So, so, yeah. We played a board
game. Just lit a few candles.
299
00:18:30,473 --> 00:18:33,210
And then we had a seance.
300
00:18:33,641 --> 00:18:36,312
But we didn't do any
of this other stuff.
301
00:18:37,579 --> 00:18:40,712
Did I hear... did I hear you guys,
you said you did a seance?
302
00:18:41,385 --> 00:18:43,253
- Yeah.
- Oh, yeah?
303
00:18:43,519 --> 00:18:44,848
So did you, uh...
304
00:18:47,787 --> 00:18:48,885
talk to any ghosts?
305
00:18:50,188 --> 00:18:53,263
Dude. There was a spiritual
presence in the house last night.
306
00:18:53,793 --> 00:18:57,135
I f... I felt it when I walked in.
307
00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,764
But you did not vandalize
anything in the house?
308
00:18:59,799 --> 00:19:00,798
Absolutely not.
309
00:19:01,767 --> 00:19:04,670
Well, so, there was
a Hodag statue. But...
310
00:19:04,705 --> 00:19:05,803
We fixed it.
311
00:19:06,806 --> 00:19:08,806
Well if you didn't rob the house
then who did?
312
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,677
I honestly do not know.
313
00:19:13,351 --> 00:19:16,286
Your boyfriend said that
a Hodag robbed the house.
314
00:19:16,651 --> 00:19:18,486
He said what?
315
00:19:34,702 --> 00:19:37,373
We're still trying to get in
touch with the Beckers to confirm
316
00:19:37,408 --> 00:19:39,243
your relationship to them.
317
00:19:39,278 --> 00:19:41,344
While I continue
my investigation, I...
318
00:19:41,379 --> 00:19:44,314
Whoa. Uh. Our investigation.
319
00:19:47,583 --> 00:19:51,552
We have agreed to release them
into your custody
320
00:19:51,587 --> 00:19:53,785
so long as you agree
not to leave the county.
321
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:55,556
Under any circumstances.
322
00:19:55,591 --> 00:19:57,294
Not leave the county?
I'm sorry, you know,
323
00:19:57,329 --> 00:19:58,856
we have to be in Chicago
tomorrow for work.
324
00:19:59,463 --> 00:20:02,959
Oh, well, I mean that kinda
sounds like a circumstance.
325
00:20:02,994 --> 00:20:04,202
Or, no.
326
00:20:06,305 --> 00:20:07,370
Or we can hold them.
327
00:20:08,307 --> 00:20:09,339
Hold them?
328
00:20:10,442 --> 00:20:12,408
In jail? What? We're supposed
to leave them in jail?
329
00:20:12,707 --> 00:20:13,940
- Well...
- Yeah, that's kinda how it works.
330
00:20:13,975 --> 00:20:17,710
Babe, what about your brother,
Andy? Maybe he can take them.
331
00:20:17,745 --> 00:20:19,679
Guys,
I can't stay here.
332
00:20:19,714 --> 00:20:21,417
I'm gonna miss Jennifer's
New Year's party.
333
00:20:21,452 --> 00:20:23,617
Oh, I'm sorry. You're gonna miss
Jennifer's New Year's party?
334
00:20:23,850 --> 00:20:25,586
Where is
my responsible daughter?
335
00:20:25,621 --> 00:20:26,720
- I am responsible, Mom!
- ...What are we doing here?
336
00:20:26,756 --> 00:20:28,188
- You just never see that.
- No. The police are here.
337
00:20:28,224 --> 00:20:30,789
We're doing this because
I responsibly reported a robbery.
338
00:20:30,824 --> 00:20:32,591
No. You stayed in a place
you should not have stayed.
339
00:20:32,626 --> 00:20:33,925
- Why are so you mean to me? Also, I stay in a place...
- Are you kidding me?
340
00:20:33,961 --> 00:20:34,960
- I don't get to see my friends...
- Do not try
341
00:20:34,995 --> 00:20:37,368
to out-scream me.
You know what, you go to college
342
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:38,736
- and have a social life.
- I would love to go to college
343
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:40,733
- if you would approve my essay.
- Every action has a consequence.
344
00:20:40,768 --> 00:20:42,031
Say something.
345
00:20:42,066 --> 00:20:43,736
- I'd just like...
- Don't.
346
00:21:30,950 --> 00:21:33,819
First up, my house rules.
347
00:21:35,724 --> 00:21:39,792
You will forfeit both
your cell phones.
348
00:21:40,663 --> 00:21:42,630
You'll sleep in separate
bedrooms.
349
00:21:43,567 --> 00:21:45,996
You'll get up at six AM
every morning
350
00:21:46,031 --> 00:21:48,768
and make your beds and...
what now?
351
00:21:52,972 --> 00:21:54,939
Son of a...
352
00:22:06,689 --> 00:22:08,557
Your uncle Andy told me
what happened to his house.
353
00:22:08,592 --> 00:22:10,359
I know you're telling
the truth about the Beckers.
354
00:22:10,394 --> 00:22:12,990
But I'm worried you don't realize
that your actions have consequences.
355
00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:16,400
You need to take more responsibility
on and help around the cabin.
356
00:22:16,435 --> 00:22:17,962
So I'm gonna send you a list
of chores to...
357
00:22:17,997 --> 00:22:21,339
Looks like they didn't
get everything.
358
00:22:22,133 --> 00:22:23,737
Not the time.
359
00:22:26,874 --> 00:22:28,874
I... I don't know if
this job is right for you.
360
00:22:30,009 --> 00:22:33,681
Well, we're gonna stay
at the family house.
361
00:22:34,145 --> 00:22:35,551
Hop in.
362
00:22:55,771 --> 00:22:58,442
I'm beginning to think that
maybe you two
363
00:22:58,477 --> 00:23:00,136
didn't rob the Becker's house.
364
00:23:16,121 --> 00:23:18,594
Oh. Thank you.
365
00:23:33,138 --> 00:23:35,710
Okay. I cannot believe that
there are robbers out there
366
00:23:35,877 --> 00:23:38,482
screwing people over and then
letting us take the fall for it.
367
00:23:38,748 --> 00:23:41,551
Yeah. These are the most
inconsiderate robbers ever.
368
00:23:41,751 --> 00:23:42,948
Okay. You know what?
369
00:23:44,151 --> 00:23:46,523
We need to find these assholes
and then clear our names.
370
00:23:49,220 --> 00:23:51,495
Well, what else
are we supposed to do?
371
00:23:52,190 --> 00:23:54,091
It's practically the Wild West
up here.
372
00:23:55,226 --> 00:23:56,566
We should scour the town
for clues.
373
00:23:57,030 --> 00:23:58,128
Stake out the empty houses.
374
00:23:58,504 --> 00:23:59,833
You will do no such thing.
375
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:03,672
- Why not?
- Because you are not Sherlock Holmes
376
00:24:03,707 --> 00:24:04,739
and this is real life.
377
00:24:05,071 --> 00:24:06,807
But the police think
that we did it.
378
00:24:06,842 --> 00:24:09,205
You are more likely to end up
getting hurt than you are
379
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:10,679
to catch any robbers.
380
00:24:15,081 --> 00:24:18,555
I'm sorry. I cannot eat this
box macaroni and cheese.
381
00:24:19,250 --> 00:24:20,854
If we're going to be here
for a while,
382
00:24:20,889 --> 00:24:22,658
I'm going to get us some
real food.
383
00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:28,191
Do not go anywhere while
I'm gone.
384
00:24:28,226 --> 00:24:30,699
Remember, your very presence in
this house is enough
385
00:24:30,734 --> 00:24:31,931
to deter a robber.
386
00:25:19,783 --> 00:25:21,618
I know
your mom is being hard on you, but
387
00:25:23,388 --> 00:25:24,654
that's only because we know how much untapped potential...
388
00:25:26,057 --> 00:25:27,323
Honey, life
after high school is hard.
389
00:25:27,358 --> 00:25:30,286
Figuring what you want to do
with your life is hard.
390
00:25:30,321 --> 00:25:33,531
But you need a plan. Make a goal chart and...
391
00:25:33,863 --> 00:25:35,863
Hey, sis.
How's your goal chart?
392
00:25:51,309 --> 00:25:52,583
That was nothing, right?
393
00:25:53,552 --> 00:25:56,048
Yeah. Yeah, that was probably
the heater.
394
00:25:56,919 --> 00:25:59,315
So we don't have to
check it out.
395
00:26:01,055 --> 00:26:02,318
We should definitely
check it out.
396
00:26:02,353 --> 00:26:03,792
Shit!
397
00:26:20,239 --> 00:26:22,074
Okay, I know Andy said
not to do anything,
398
00:26:22,109 --> 00:26:24,912
but I don't think we can just
stay here and do nothing.
399
00:26:24,947 --> 00:26:26,309
Yeah.
400
00:26:26,344 --> 00:26:27,882
I'm not going to
be able to sleep tonight.
401
00:26:28,984 --> 00:26:31,721
You know what?
We could put a lock on the back door.
402
00:26:32,856 --> 00:26:34,988
Yeah. Let's do that.
403
00:26:39,731 --> 00:26:42,963
Okay. Do you think we should put
some extra lights on timers?
404
00:26:42,998 --> 00:26:44,866
Yeah! Ooh, let's put the tree
on a timer.
405
00:27:05,416 --> 00:27:08,153
Madison, I found these great party pop...
406
00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,362
Too long.
407
00:27:20,134 --> 00:27:21,265
That...
408
00:27:22,774 --> 00:27:23,773
That works.
409
00:27:34,181 --> 00:27:35,653
Okay.
410
00:27:38,856 --> 00:27:40,416
Close it. Close it. Close it.
411
00:27:42,024 --> 00:27:43,023
Okay!
412
00:27:48,327 --> 00:27:49,326
What?
413
00:27:56,940 --> 00:27:58,775
Do you even know how to use
that thing?
414
00:27:58,810 --> 00:28:02,174
Nope. But if I could figure it
out, I think it could be useful.
415
00:28:02,209 --> 00:28:03,307
Uh-huh.
416
00:28:11,383 --> 00:28:13,020
What the heck is this?
417
00:28:14,056 --> 00:28:15,418
Okay.
418
00:28:16,454 --> 00:28:17,827
What the...?
419
00:28:19,490 --> 00:28:22,458
- Absolutely not.
- What?
420
00:28:25,067 --> 00:28:26,737
And definitely none of that.
421
00:28:28,070 --> 00:28:29,234
And, actually,
I don't care about that.
422
00:28:29,973 --> 00:28:31,071
Oh, really?
423
00:28:31,106 --> 00:28:32,875
Well, I was 18 once too,
you know.
424
00:28:33,372 --> 00:28:35,944
But I do not drink and
play with knives.
425
00:28:35,979 --> 00:28:37,176
We're just trying to
protect ourselves.
426
00:28:37,211 --> 00:28:39,442
Or at least make some sort of
alarm system.
427
00:28:39,477 --> 00:28:42,082
Well, this is more likely to
harm you than any intruder.
428
00:28:44,482 --> 00:28:46,383
All right.
429
00:28:47,518 --> 00:28:49,826
You want to protect yourselves
like responsible adults?
430
00:28:49,861 --> 00:28:50,860
- Yes!
- Yes!
431
00:28:55,196 --> 00:28:56,998
What the?
432
00:28:58,969 --> 00:29:00,100
How long has that been there?
433
00:29:00,498 --> 00:29:02,201
A while.
434
00:29:07,274 --> 00:29:08,372
Madison.
435
00:29:11,850 --> 00:29:12,882
Here you go, Jimmy.
436
00:29:16,151 --> 00:29:17,414
Hold it like Madison.
437
00:29:19,187 --> 00:29:20,186
All right.
438
00:29:20,353 --> 00:29:22,056
You have to chamber a round.
439
00:29:23,290 --> 00:29:25,422
Otherwise you'll look
like a fool with no intent.
440
00:29:27,162 --> 00:29:28,194
Oh, so just like...
441
00:29:29,901 --> 00:29:31,164
For Pete's sake!
442
00:29:32,367 --> 00:29:34,299
No! No, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
443
00:29:40,406 --> 00:29:41,504
Thank you.
444
00:29:46,412 --> 00:29:48,951
These are BB guns.
445
00:29:49,888 --> 00:29:51,052
Take it.
446
00:29:52,622 --> 00:29:55,056
You'll be able to scare people off, but
you won't really be able to hurt anyone.
447
00:29:56,191 --> 00:29:57,993
Oh, shit!
448
00:29:58,028 --> 00:29:59,060
Jesus Christ.
449
00:30:01,900 --> 00:30:03,163
Just... just take it from him.
450
00:30:06,036 --> 00:30:07,068
Ah.
451
00:30:10,601 --> 00:30:12,843
Here are some items you can
actually use.
452
00:30:17,443 --> 00:30:18,442
A pocket knife?
453
00:30:19,445 --> 00:30:21,280
In the right hands
a pocket knife can provide
454
00:30:21,315 --> 00:30:23,920
a person shelter, food,
and security.
455
00:30:23,955 --> 00:30:26,186
Making it an important asset
to mankind.
456
00:30:26,221 --> 00:30:28,353
Aw. It has such a small blade.
457
00:30:29,587 --> 00:30:31,026
That one has a flashlight.
458
00:30:37,199 --> 00:30:38,935
Okay. So now, we keep watch.
459
00:30:38,970 --> 00:30:41,300
And hope what we fear
will never come.
460
00:32:52,631 --> 00:32:57,271
- All quiet on the east side.
- All clear on the lake side.
461
00:33:00,144 --> 00:33:02,507
Have there been serial robberies
like this in the past?
462
00:33:03,114 --> 00:33:04,476
Luckily, no.
463
00:33:05,512 --> 00:33:08,051
Well, why do you think they're
breaking in
464
00:33:08,086 --> 00:33:09,481
and robbing people now?
465
00:33:09,747 --> 00:33:12,220
Hard to say.
It's different for each robber.
466
00:33:12,255 --> 00:33:14,519
I think these robberies are
crimes of opportunity.
467
00:33:16,127 --> 00:33:18,292
Do you guys want to watch Santa
Clause Conquers the Martians?
468
00:33:18,459 --> 00:33:19,755
- Ooh.
- Santa did what?
469
00:33:19,790 --> 00:33:21,757
It's a really good movie. And!
470
00:33:23,068 --> 00:33:25,134
We can play a really fun
drinking game while we watch it.
471
00:33:26,137 --> 00:33:28,500
- We should keep a lookout.
- Why?
472
00:33:29,272 --> 00:33:30,700
I mean, the sun is setting.
We're not going to be able
473
00:33:31,076 --> 00:33:32,504
to see much in the dark
anyway.
474
00:33:32,539 --> 00:33:35,474
Can we just take
a short break? Please?
475
00:33:35,509 --> 00:33:39,181
Wouldn't a movie playing deter
people from breaking in?
476
00:33:39,348 --> 00:33:40,644
Or we could play a game!
477
00:33:41,515 --> 00:33:42,581
What game?
478
00:33:42,616 --> 00:33:44,714
Why don't you teach us a game
that you like to play?
479
00:33:45,321 --> 00:33:47,255
Ooh, you show you yours,
I'll show me mine.
480
00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:12,412
Kings are worth four points.
481
00:34:12,447 --> 00:34:15,811
Queens three. Jacks two.
Aces are worth eleven.
482
00:34:15,846 --> 00:34:17,384
And then tens are worth ten.
483
00:34:17,419 --> 00:34:19,353
Okay. And nines are nine?
484
00:34:19,388 --> 00:34:21,157
- Uh, no. Zero.
- What about eights?
485
00:34:21,192 --> 00:34:22,191
Uh, zero.
486
00:34:22,391 --> 00:34:23,390
Seven?
487
00:34:24,626 --> 00:34:26,723
Zero. And, no, you don't play
with any cards under seven.
488
00:34:27,528 --> 00:34:28,824
O... okay.
489
00:34:28,859 --> 00:34:30,199
You'll figure it out.
490
00:34:32,335 --> 00:34:34,731
- When do you drink?
- Whenever you damn well please.
491
00:34:44,743 --> 00:34:47,843
What if the number of points
you score
492
00:34:47,878 --> 00:34:51,220
is the number of seconds the
person to your left has to drink?
493
00:34:51,354 --> 00:34:53,519
Why must everything turn into
a drinking game?
494
00:34:53,554 --> 00:34:56,357
Now, can we just drink and
play a game?
495
00:34:56,392 --> 00:34:58,194
Let's just play something else!
496
00:35:12,309 --> 00:35:16,212
So, whatever the value
of the card that is in your set
497
00:35:16,247 --> 00:35:18,346
that's the number of seconds
you have to drink.
498
00:35:18,645 --> 00:35:20,579
What are these cards
in the middle here?
499
00:35:20,614 --> 00:35:23,384
Oh, no. It's way easier to
understand the command cards first.
500
00:35:23,551 --> 00:35:25,749
So if someone flips over an ace,
501
00:35:25,784 --> 00:35:28,323
the person across from them has
to pound the table and shout
502
00:35:28,688 --> 00:35:32,393
"Two for all." If they don't,
they have to finish their beer.
503
00:35:33,363 --> 00:35:34,659
I'm not playing this game.
504
00:35:48,939 --> 00:35:50,378
Look at their helmets.
505
00:35:50,413 --> 00:35:51,907
Look at his beard.
506
00:36:00,720 --> 00:36:02,258
How long is this movie?
507
00:36:02,293 --> 00:36:04,194
It's 81 glorious minutes.
508
00:36:08,431 --> 00:36:09,562
- He said Santa!
- Drink!
509
00:36:21,576 --> 00:36:23,807
...supposedly frozen
individual moves!
510
00:36:23,842 --> 00:36:25,545
It's rule number nine.
511
00:36:25,580 --> 00:36:29,252
Okay. Andy won.
Wake up. Uncle Andy won.
512
00:36:29,584 --> 00:36:32,585
Every time a Martian gets
attacked by a toy, you drink!
513
00:36:36,327 --> 00:36:38,327
- Madison!
- Straight line.
514
00:36:38,362 --> 00:36:39,955
I forgot to pack my toothbrush.
515
00:36:39,990 --> 00:36:42,958
Okay. That's a lot of
information. Just keep going.
516
00:36:42,993 --> 00:36:45,565
- I can do it myself!
- No, Jimmy! Be careful! Just...
517
00:36:45,732 --> 00:36:46,831
Oh, don't forget...
518
00:36:46,867 --> 00:36:48,370
Shit!
519
00:36:48,405 --> 00:36:50,207
Yeah. That.
520
00:36:50,341 --> 00:36:51,670
I'm okay!
521
00:37:21,603 --> 00:37:24,901
Hey, kiddo.
I thought you went to bed.
522
00:37:27,609 --> 00:37:30,544
I, uh, haven't heard you play
in a while.
523
00:37:31,778 --> 00:37:33,283
Forgot how much I missed it.
524
00:37:34,044 --> 00:37:35,516
Thanks.
525
00:37:39,852 --> 00:37:41,753
So how's our young Jimmy?
526
00:37:42,459 --> 00:37:44,624
Alive. For now.
527
00:37:51,402 --> 00:37:52,500
What's on your mind?
528
00:37:56,033 --> 00:37:59,540
Maybe my mom was right.
529
00:38:00,642 --> 00:38:01,541
Probably.
530
00:38:01,577 --> 00:38:04,479
She thinks Jimmy's too immature
for me.
531
00:38:06,648 --> 00:38:07,746
What do you think?
532
00:38:08,045 --> 00:38:10,584
- I asked you first.
- You did?
533
00:38:10,949 --> 00:38:13,323
Well, do you think that Jimmy's
too immature?
534
00:38:14,953 --> 00:38:18,493
I do not think that Jimmy is
too immature for someone who
535
00:38:18,528 --> 00:38:21,562
does not go to school and
does not have a job.
536
00:38:22,763 --> 00:38:24,532
I knew it. My mom was wrong.
537
00:38:24,897 --> 00:38:26,402
Huh.
538
00:38:26,635 --> 00:38:29,702
Come on! Remind me why
you're with him again?
539
00:38:31,035 --> 00:38:34,443
- He's funny.
- Yeah, he's amusing sometimes.
540
00:38:34,940 --> 00:38:37,908
- But he doesn't realize it.
- Okay. But that
541
00:38:38,108 --> 00:38:43,320
is probably because he does not
care what other people think.
542
00:38:43,817 --> 00:38:45,685
Yes, and that was cute
when he was 10.
543
00:38:50,857 --> 00:38:53,022
You know, a first love
is complicated.
544
00:38:53,860 --> 00:38:55,827
Especially with someone
you grew up with.
545
00:39:04,607 --> 00:39:05,738
Phone's dead.
546
00:39:07,445 --> 00:39:08,444
You'll be fine.
547
00:39:09,447 --> 00:39:11,348
I've lived my whole life without
a cell phone.
548
00:39:11,977 --> 00:39:14,846
- And I've somehow survived without it.
- Hm.
549
00:39:17,818 --> 00:39:18,817
You know who made that?
550
00:39:19,754 --> 00:39:21,490
Yeah, my dad.
551
00:39:23,725 --> 00:39:24,757
You remember him?
552
00:39:27,091 --> 00:39:28,365
Yeah.
553
00:39:30,567 --> 00:39:36,505
I mean, they're faint memories,
but they exist.
554
00:39:40,907 --> 00:39:42,742
Yeah. Sure.
555
00:39:50,180 --> 00:39:51,817
Guess that's your cue
to go up to bed.
556
00:39:53,018 --> 00:39:55,018
I'll take the first watch
down here.
557
00:39:55,691 --> 00:39:59,055
And I will take the first shift
watching Jimmy.
558
00:39:59,761 --> 00:40:00,892
Good.
559
00:40:04,029 --> 00:40:06,700
Oh, uh, Uncle Andy?
560
00:40:07,934 --> 00:40:10,902
Thanks again. For everything.
561
00:40:13,478 --> 00:40:14,543
Anytime.
562
00:40:56,983 --> 00:40:59,456
Do you think that one
looks like an empty summer home?
563
00:41:01,823 --> 00:41:03,724
Fuck, is that light
always on?
564
00:41:04,562 --> 00:41:06,727
Mm. I don't remember.
565
00:41:08,225 --> 00:41:09,730
What about that one?
566
00:41:11,536 --> 00:41:13,701
Yeah, I think they live
in Chicago.
567
00:41:15,133 --> 00:41:16,231
All right.
568
00:42:50,096 --> 00:42:51,634
- Shit!
- Just stay there.
569
00:42:51,669 --> 00:42:52,767
We thought no one was in
the house.
570
00:43:09,654 --> 00:43:11,819
Get back over here.
Get over here!
571
00:43:13,724 --> 00:43:14,987
Sit down, old man!
572
00:43:15,726 --> 00:43:17,319
How many other people
are in the house?
573
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,058
Just me.
574
00:43:24,163 --> 00:43:25,800
So, what now?
575
00:43:47,758 --> 00:43:49,758
Shhhh, shhhhh.
576
00:43:50,156 --> 00:43:52,123
Okay, how drunk are you?
577
00:43:53,159 --> 00:43:54,559
- Mm.
- Okay.
578
00:43:54,594 --> 00:43:56,798
I'm going to take my hand off your
mouth, but you have to be quiet.
579
00:43:57,262 --> 00:43:58,800
- We're being robbed.
- What?
580
00:43:58,835 --> 00:43:59,834
Jimmy!
581
00:44:02,036 --> 00:44:04,773
Okay. I need your phone.
I'm gonna call 911.
582
00:44:08,075 --> 00:44:09,778
And your phone is dead.
583
00:44:10,143 --> 00:44:13,177
Yeah. It's my bedtime story.
It helps me sleep.
584
00:44:14,180 --> 00:44:16,345
Okay. Um, I'll just drive
to the police station.
585
00:44:16,721 --> 00:44:18,215
- I got our coats. Come on.
- Okay.
586
00:44:20,791 --> 00:44:22,659
Hands! Hands!
587
00:44:27,930 --> 00:44:29,127
All right.
588
00:44:34,805 --> 00:44:36,805
Ooh, why don't we try
this sheepshank one?
589
00:44:37,071 --> 00:44:38,741
- Huh?
- The sheepshank.
590
00:44:39,403 --> 00:44:41,304
I know how to tie
a fucking knot!
591
00:44:44,177 --> 00:44:45,209
Okay.
592
00:44:50,447 --> 00:44:51,688
Madison!
593
00:45:03,229 --> 00:45:05,702
Okay! Jimmy, toss me the keys.
594
00:45:08,003 --> 00:45:10,069
Are you serious? Okay.
595
00:45:11,468 --> 00:45:12,467
All right.
596
00:45:14,207 --> 00:45:15,371
Jimmy.
597
00:45:15,505 --> 00:45:17,109
These are not Andy's keys.
598
00:45:18,981 --> 00:45:21,344
Fuck! They're not?
599
00:45:21,379 --> 00:45:23,852
In what world do you think
that these are Andy's keys?
600
00:45:24,118 --> 00:45:27,350
I'm sorry.
Can we still use them?
601
00:45:27,385 --> 00:45:29,154
No. we cannot still use...
602
00:45:31,994 --> 00:45:32,993
What?
603
00:45:38,528 --> 00:45:40,330
I don't... I don't understand.
604
00:45:40,365 --> 00:45:42,200
- What's wrong?
- I don't know.
605
00:45:42,235 --> 00:45:46,006
Oh, shit. It's a stick. Umm.
Do you know how to drive stick?
606
00:45:47,009 --> 00:45:48,844
No. Do you?
607
00:45:49,407 --> 00:45:50,473
No, of course not.
608
00:45:50,508 --> 00:45:52,309
Why else would I ask you if
I knew how to drive...
609
00:45:52,344 --> 00:45:53,410
- Holy shit!
- Get out of my truck!
610
00:45:53,445 --> 00:45:56,181
- It's the fucking Hodags again!
- Okay, okay! Okay.
611
00:45:56,216 --> 00:45:57,479
Get the hell out
of my truck!
612
00:46:00,088 --> 00:46:02,121
You're really gonna
want to get out now!
613
00:46:04,424 --> 00:46:07,159
Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Fuck! Fuck!
614
00:46:09,295 --> 00:46:12,428
Get the fuck out of my
goddamned truck.
615
00:46:15,037 --> 00:46:16,168
Now.
616
00:46:23,914 --> 00:46:26,013
All right. Give me your
cell phone.
617
00:46:26,048 --> 00:46:27,114
They're dead.
You don't have to...
618
00:46:27,149 --> 00:46:28,917
- Even better. Give it to me anyway.
- You too!
619
00:46:29,447 --> 00:46:31,887
- I don't have a cell phone.
- That's impossible.
620
00:46:33,451 --> 00:46:34,549
I really don't.
621
00:46:36,190 --> 00:46:37,189
He's telling the truth.
622
00:46:37,587 --> 00:46:39,158
What? I don't understand that.
623
00:46:39,193 --> 00:46:40,555
How can you just not have
a phone?
624
00:46:40,590 --> 00:46:43,525
Fuck. We don't have enough rope
to tie everyone up.
625
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:47,199
Well, um, why don't we just tie
his shoelaces together?
626
00:46:47,333 --> 00:46:49,135
There's more rope in the garage.
627
00:46:50,204 --> 00:46:51,335
Okay.
628
00:46:54,307 --> 00:46:57,440
Just stay here. Watch them.
Nobody moves.
629
00:46:57,475 --> 00:46:58,540
Yeah. Okay.
630
00:46:59,444 --> 00:47:00,949
Nobody moves!
631
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:16,932
You know, I actually have to say
I kind of appreciate
632
00:47:16,967 --> 00:47:19,264
how cooperative you guys are
being, 'cause, to be honest,
633
00:47:19,299 --> 00:47:22,872
this is my first time ever
having a hostage.
634
00:47:29,243 --> 00:47:30,407
So, um...
635
00:47:31,610 --> 00:47:34,246
have any of you guys ever
been robbed before or anything?
636
00:47:34,512 --> 00:47:36,886
- Well, this is the second time I've been robbed.
- Oh.
637
00:47:36,921 --> 00:47:39,218
But the first time I've ever
been held hostage.
638
00:47:39,484 --> 00:47:41,957
Oh cool, cool. That's cool.
639
00:47:44,489 --> 00:47:45,521
Umm...
640
00:47:47,932 --> 00:47:51,626
Wait a second. I feel like I've
seen you guys before somewhere.
641
00:47:51,661 --> 00:47:55,102
Oh, that's, uh, weird.
642
00:47:55,137 --> 00:47:58,974
Hey, listen, I... I just,
I'm gonna be honest, you know,
643
00:47:59,009 --> 00:48:01,977
since this is your first
hostage thing.
644
00:48:02,012 --> 00:48:05,607
So this rope that's tying my
legs together,
645
00:48:05,642 --> 00:48:06,982
it seems a little loose.
646
00:48:07,215 --> 00:48:09,413
- Really?
- Yeah, I um...
647
00:48:09,646 --> 00:48:11,921
I don't think he
did a great job with the knot.
648
00:48:12,088 --> 00:48:15,056
Hm. Yeah, the knot's no good.
You should've used a square knot.
649
00:48:15,289 --> 00:48:16,519
Square knot?
650
00:48:16,554 --> 00:48:18,092
- I can teach you.
- Yeah?
651
00:48:19,293 --> 00:48:20,292
Okay!
652
00:48:21,966 --> 00:48:24,659
Now you take one end
in each hand.
653
00:48:24,694 --> 00:48:28,971
- Okay.
- And then you take the right end
654
00:48:29,666 --> 00:48:31,171
and throw it over the left.
655
00:48:31,206 --> 00:48:32,469
- Right over left.
- Yeah.
656
00:48:33,439 --> 00:48:34,911
And then pull it under.
657
00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:38,013
And then take the left end
and cross it over the right
658
00:48:38,048 --> 00:48:39,179
and then pull that under.
659
00:48:40,248 --> 00:48:43,018
Yeah, that's great. Oh.
That's amazing. Good job!
660
00:48:43,053 --> 00:48:44,613
Yeah. And then you pull both ends.
661
00:48:45,055 --> 00:48:46,188
Pull both ends. Cool!
662
00:48:46,223 --> 00:48:49,222
It's really simple but it looks
really fancy! Aw, good!
663
00:48:49,455 --> 00:48:51,620
Hey baby,
I made a triangle knot!
664
00:48:51,655 --> 00:48:53,391
- Square knot.
- A square knot!
665
00:48:53,624 --> 00:48:55,261
Where the fuck is the other kid?
666
00:48:55,428 --> 00:48:57,395
- Oh, he was here just a second ago!
- Fuck!
667
00:49:00,466 --> 00:49:01,465
Don't shoot!
668
00:49:05,537 --> 00:49:06,635
Get back over here!
669
00:49:07,838 --> 00:49:10,705
- What the fuck was that?
- It was just a party popper.
670
00:49:10,740 --> 00:49:13,246
- A party popper?
- It's a homemade alarm system.
671
00:49:13,413 --> 00:49:15,149
Yeah, we set them up all over
the house.
672
00:49:15,184 --> 00:49:17,019
Oh, that's actually
a really good idea.
673
00:49:17,054 --> 00:49:18,185
Oh, is it?
674
00:49:18,550 --> 00:49:21,617
So there's more of these? Jesus.
675
00:49:22,059 --> 00:49:24,422
Here, tie him up with that
fancy new knot you just learned.
676
00:49:25,623 --> 00:49:26,622
It's a square knot.
677
00:49:28,131 --> 00:49:31,099
Um, okay,
if you could just have a seat.
678
00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:33,299
Uh, sure. Right here?
Yeah, okay.
679
00:49:35,732 --> 00:49:37,633
Shit!
680
00:49:48,145 --> 00:49:51,350
Right over left. Left over right.
681
00:49:51,385 --> 00:49:53,121
Goddamn it!
682
00:49:53,156 --> 00:49:55,618
Air horn?! Air horn?!
683
00:49:55,653 --> 00:49:57,191
I'm gonna kill that kid.
684
00:49:57,226 --> 00:49:58,390
That looks kinda good.
685
00:49:59,393 --> 00:50:00,997
I'm kinda proud of myself.
686
00:50:01,395 --> 00:50:03,725
You little shit!
687
00:50:04,266 --> 00:50:05,661
Outside. Now!
688
00:50:15,145 --> 00:50:18,146
Guys, those are the Hodags!
689
00:50:18,676 --> 00:50:21,380
- What Hodags?
- You know Hodags aren't real.
690
00:50:21,415 --> 00:50:23,811
No, I know
that Hodags aren't real.
691
00:50:23,846 --> 00:50:27,650
Those are the Hodag masks that I
saw at the Beckers' last night.
692
00:50:28,389 --> 00:50:30,059
Yeah, Jimmy!
693
00:50:30,226 --> 00:50:33,524
I think we all kind of figured
they were the same robbers.
694
00:50:33,559 --> 00:50:39,596
Yeah. But now you know I didn't
make the Hodag thing up.
695
00:50:39,763 --> 00:50:42,500
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
696
00:50:44,438 --> 00:50:46,438
So what's our next move?
697
00:50:46,836 --> 00:50:48,242
We're going to cooperate.
698
00:50:48,277 --> 00:50:49,276
- What?
- What?!
699
00:50:49,312 --> 00:50:51,740
I just really feel like
we could fix it.
700
00:50:52,116 --> 00:50:53,643
It's such a tiny little
bullet hole.
701
00:50:53,678 --> 00:50:55,546
I'm not gonna patch tires
with duct tape
702
00:50:55,581 --> 00:50:57,185
like a fucking asshole!
703
00:50:58,488 --> 00:51:00,650
There's a tube of super glue in
that bin that might be of use.
704
00:51:02,291 --> 00:51:04,192
- Thank you!
- Yeah.
705
00:51:06,856 --> 00:51:09,131
- What?
- Just go outside.
706
00:51:15,205 --> 00:51:18,602
So we're just gonna sit here
and watch them rob our house?
707
00:51:19,341 --> 00:51:22,309
- They have a gun, Madison.
- We have a BB gun!
708
00:51:22,344 --> 00:51:26,181
We are going to cooperate so
the situation doesn't escalate.
709
00:51:36,721 --> 00:51:39,557
This isn't working. How are we
gonna get to New Orleans?
710
00:51:39,592 --> 00:51:41,328
New Orleans? You're worried
about New Orleans, baby?
711
00:51:41,363 --> 00:51:43,264
I'm worried about how we get out
of the fucking driveway!
712
00:51:43,299 --> 00:51:45,596
Can't we... can't we just
take their truck?
713
00:51:45,631 --> 00:51:48,368
And leave ours for the police
to find it? Come on.
714
00:51:50,372 --> 00:51:52,768
What is this?
What are you doing?
715
00:51:54,178 --> 00:51:55,870
I am going to make this worth
our time.
716
00:51:55,905 --> 00:51:57,113
What are you...
717
00:51:57,643 --> 00:51:59,181
What is...
718
00:52:15,793 --> 00:52:16,792
Not the canoe!
719
00:52:18,829 --> 00:52:19,861
Please?
720
00:52:20,402 --> 00:52:21,201
Huh?
721
00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:24,767
My dad, um, made that for me.
Just...
722
00:52:24,802 --> 00:52:27,143
it's not worth anything.
I swear.
723
00:52:36,220 --> 00:52:37,219
Thank you.
724
00:52:46,593 --> 00:52:50,694
Uh, could you leave Santa
Clause Conquers the Martians?
725
00:52:50,960 --> 00:52:52,795
- Seriously?
- What?
726
00:52:53,435 --> 00:52:54,533
It's a really good movie.
727
00:52:56,702 --> 00:52:57,501
Doesn't sound that great.
728
00:52:57,967 --> 00:52:59,670
Oh, it's actually highly
entertaining.
729
00:52:59,705 --> 00:53:01,573
Yeah. Okay.
730
00:53:02,312 --> 00:53:03,872
Yes.
731
00:53:04,578 --> 00:53:07,183
Super glue doesn't do shit!
732
00:53:07,845 --> 00:53:09,515
You... you could use
the spare tire.
733
00:53:09,550 --> 00:53:10,681
I only have one.
734
00:53:10,848 --> 00:53:12,452
But I also have one.
735
00:53:12,784 --> 00:53:15,422
I believe my car keys are on
the kitchen counter.
736
00:53:16,788 --> 00:53:19,624
Shit. Yeah. That'll work.
737
00:53:21,595 --> 00:53:23,727
Missed one. Give me this.
738
00:54:23,019 --> 00:54:24,920
Did you guys also want
some water?
739
00:54:25,527 --> 00:54:27,659
- Sure!
- That would be awesome.
740
00:54:32,435 --> 00:54:37,031
Okay. Oh! Uh, okay.
Here we go. And...
741
00:54:39,937 --> 00:54:43,037
Okay, all right, let's see.
742
00:54:46,515 --> 00:54:47,745
- Aw!
- Some for you.
743
00:54:47,780 --> 00:54:48,911
Thank you!
744
00:54:48,946 --> 00:54:49,812
- Oh.
- Awesome.
745
00:54:50,453 --> 00:54:52,453
- Very much appreciated.
- For you!
746
00:54:54,050 --> 00:54:56,325
Okay, yeah! That's good.
747
00:55:01,024 --> 00:55:02,958
Oh. Uh...
748
00:55:04,533 --> 00:55:05,532
That's not gonna work.
749
00:55:05,568 --> 00:55:08,799
- Um.
- You know what? There... there's straws,
750
00:55:08,834 --> 00:55:10,966
uh, in the drawer
under the microwave.
751
00:55:15,577 --> 00:55:17,412
- Oh, my God, she's so nice!
- Mm-hm.
752
00:55:26,390 --> 00:55:27,818
- Oh!
- Found 'em!
753
00:55:27,853 --> 00:55:30,920
- Aw, that is so sweet!
- Thank you!
754
00:55:30,955 --> 00:55:32,592
- Very kind of you.
- And...
755
00:55:33,595 --> 00:55:36,596
There and perfect! There we go.
756
00:55:37,467 --> 00:55:38,829
That's good, so...
757
00:55:42,032 --> 00:55:45,374
Oh. I guess that's not
really much better.
758
00:55:45,805 --> 00:55:50,874
No. Perhaps if you move those
stools from the other room
759
00:55:51,481 --> 00:55:55,109
in front of us, it might be
a good height for the straws.
760
00:55:55,881 --> 00:55:59,487
That's a great idea! Yeah! Okay.
761
00:56:00,622 --> 00:56:02,490
- In here?
- Yeah.
762
00:56:02,954 --> 00:56:06,626
That was a great idea. I get it.
763
00:56:06,892 --> 00:56:08,529
- There you go.
- Okay!
764
00:56:08,993 --> 00:56:10,366
That's great.
765
00:56:12,700 --> 00:56:14,865
Uh. Can you hold this for me?
766
00:56:17,903 --> 00:56:19,375
And then we'll do this guy.
767
00:56:20,477 --> 00:56:21,608
- Here.
- Nice!
768
00:56:21,643 --> 00:56:22,774
And uh...
769
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:24,138
Thank you!
770
00:56:25,541 --> 00:56:28,945
This guy, and then, oh yeah! That's like, perfect.
771
00:56:28,980 --> 00:56:31,519
There ya go! Yeah!
772
00:56:32,115 --> 00:56:33,884
- I like your necklace.
- Mm?
773
00:56:33,919 --> 00:56:35,391
Oh, thank you!
774
00:56:35,624 --> 00:56:37,151
- Can I have it?
- What? Oh, uh.
775
00:56:37,186 --> 00:56:39,461
Well, Jimmy gave it to me.
776
00:56:39,496 --> 00:56:40,762
Oh, you can just give it to her.
777
00:56:40,798 --> 00:56:42,662
I got it out of a vending machine.
778
00:56:42,697 --> 00:56:44,664
- I'm sorry, you what?
- Oh, boy.
779
00:56:46,063 --> 00:56:47,161
What the hell is this?
780
00:56:47,196 --> 00:56:48,899
Well, they were thirsty. So I...
781
00:56:48,934 --> 00:56:50,164
What?
782
00:56:50,199 --> 00:56:51,803
Well, I didn't want to be rude!
783
00:56:53,675 --> 00:56:56,841
Any... any more rude.
You know?
784
00:56:57,481 --> 00:56:59,910
Baby, please.
We are almost out of here.
785
00:57:00,209 --> 00:57:03,144
Just grab some more pillow cases
and meet me in the garage.
786
00:57:09,053 --> 00:57:11,185
Hey, so. What was
the plan with the stools?
787
00:57:11,693 --> 00:57:12,956
What?
788
00:57:14,292 --> 00:57:16,828
The stools? Didn't you have her
move them over here so we could
789
00:57:16,863 --> 00:57:18,027
do something with them?
790
00:57:18,062 --> 00:57:21,063
Listen to me,
we are going to cooperate.
791
00:57:21,263 --> 00:57:23,769
Okay, Uncle Andy.
Let me ask you this.
792
00:57:23,804 --> 00:57:25,067
What happens if that guy snaps?
793
00:57:27,709 --> 00:57:29,544
Do you have those pocket knives
I gave you?
794
00:57:29,942 --> 00:57:31,678
- Yeah!
- All right, now.
795
00:57:32,175 --> 00:57:33,911
Give me one just in case.
796
00:57:33,946 --> 00:57:35,077
- Yeah. It's in my back pocket.
- All right.
797
00:57:36,447 --> 00:57:37,849
Oh, you know what? I'm kinda sitting on it.
Let me just... hang on.
798
00:57:39,589 --> 00:57:40,688
Whoa!
Jimmy, be careful!
799
00:57:41,052 --> 00:57:42,150
Jimmy, come back this way!
800
00:57:43,252 --> 00:57:44,757
Oh, oh.
801
00:57:44,924 --> 00:57:46,220
- Got it?
- Okay. Got it!
802
00:57:46,255 --> 00:57:47,595
Yeah, right there. Okay!
803
00:57:55,231 --> 00:57:56,538
Ow!
804
00:57:56,573 --> 00:58:00,036
Ow! Oh!
805
00:58:00,269 --> 00:58:02,203
- Are you okay?
- Is it bad?
806
00:58:02,238 --> 00:58:04,678
- Oh, that's a lot of blood.
- Is it broken?
807
00:58:04,713 --> 00:58:07,076
- The fuck happened?
- I got booby-trapped!
808
00:58:07,111 --> 00:58:08,242
You shouldn't have taken off
your mask!
809
00:58:08,277 --> 00:58:09,749
What?
810
00:58:09,784 --> 00:58:11,586
Now they know
who the fuck you are!
811
00:58:11,951 --> 00:58:13,852
Do you have any idea
how fucked we are?
812
00:58:13,887 --> 00:58:16,591
They
weren't... they're not gonna tell!
813
00:58:16,626 --> 00:58:18,725
- Oh, really?
- We won't. We promise.
814
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:20,562
- They're not gonna tell!
- Stop!
815
00:58:20,597 --> 00:58:21,728
I can assure you we
will not.
816
00:58:21,763 --> 00:58:23,290
I'm actually terrible
with faces.
817
00:58:23,325 --> 00:58:25,028
- See, we're good!
- No!
818
00:58:25,932 --> 00:58:27,030
Now we need to...
819
00:58:28,297 --> 00:58:29,802
We need to talk in private.
820
00:58:38,043 --> 00:58:41,517
We need to get to the basement.
821
00:58:47,822 --> 00:58:49,756
Put that up to your nose.
Come on, keep your head back.
822
00:58:52,354 --> 00:58:54,662
- Where are we going?
- Just get in the truck.
823
00:58:59,196 --> 00:59:00,261
What are you doing?
824
00:59:02,672 --> 00:59:04,265
Just try not to get blood
everywhere.
825
00:59:10,273 --> 00:59:12,680
Come on. Okay. Get in.
826
00:59:14,750 --> 00:59:16,783
Wait, wait, wait,
wait! The BB gun!
827
00:59:16,818 --> 00:59:17,817
Where the hell is he going?
828
00:59:18,215 --> 00:59:19,687
I don't know!
Jimmy!
829
00:59:21,317 --> 00:59:23,185
Where the fuck did
you go?
830
00:59:23,759 --> 00:59:25,825
Do not make me look for you!
831
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,940
Patrick, baby.
What are you doing?
832
00:59:42,679 --> 00:59:43,678
I'm getting rid of them.
833
00:59:44,307 --> 00:59:45,581
Where are the others?
834
00:59:46,784 --> 00:59:47,979
I don't know. They must be
hiding somewhere in the house.
835
00:59:49,719 --> 00:59:50,817
Wait!
836
00:59:50,852 --> 00:59:53,347
Um.
We can't get rid of him now.
837
00:59:53,855 --> 00:59:55,624
'Cause they'll never come out
if he's dead.
838
00:59:56,055 --> 00:59:59,320
Fuck. This situation
is so fucked!
839
00:59:59,355 --> 01:00:01,861
I'm sorry. Okay, I'll fix it!
840
01:00:02,765 --> 01:00:06,195
Hey kids, you can come out
because we have your dad.
841
01:00:06,230 --> 01:00:08,065
We have your fucking dad!
842
01:00:10,267 --> 01:00:12,201
How do you check for
a pulse again?
843
01:00:18,011 --> 01:00:20,143
He's just unconscious.
844
01:00:22,719 --> 01:00:23,982
Maybe they're upstairs.
845
01:00:30,287 --> 01:00:32,221
Okay, here's our chance.
846
01:00:32,256 --> 01:00:34,388
We'll get out and
we'll get Andy, okay?
847
01:00:37,294 --> 01:00:39,734
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me try.
848
01:00:39,769 --> 01:00:41,296
Shit.
849
01:00:43,003 --> 01:00:44,970
Just stop. Okay. You're going to
make too much noise. Okay?
850
01:00:45,005 --> 01:00:46,169
The bedroom door
is probably open.
851
01:00:47,304 --> 01:00:48,402
Shit.
852
01:00:49,438 --> 01:00:50,844
Okay. Um...
853
01:00:51,143 --> 01:00:52,747
Fuck. Fuck.
854
01:00:54,949 --> 01:00:57,015
Look, is there
another way out of here?
855
01:00:57,050 --> 01:00:58,412
No, there's not another
way out of here.
856
01:00:59,052 --> 01:01:00,656
Well, then what the fuck
are we supposed to do?
857
01:01:03,760 --> 01:01:05,793
We're gonna wait. Yeah.
That's it.
858
01:01:05,927 --> 01:01:06,926
We're just gonna wait.
859
01:01:08,362 --> 01:01:09,896
We're gonna wait and, um, and the
robbers are gonna leave eventually.
860
01:01:09,931 --> 01:01:11,326
And... and Andy will wake up.
861
01:01:12,934 --> 01:01:15,132
Andy's definitely gonna
wake up. And, uh...
862
01:01:15,167 --> 01:01:17,871
- No. I've got an idea.
- What?
863
01:01:17,906 --> 01:01:19,466
I'm gonna shoot through
the ceiling as a distraction.
864
01:01:19,501 --> 01:01:21,171
- You're gonna run up the stairs
when they open the door...
865
01:01:21,206 --> 01:01:23,173
Jimmy! Jimmy! Just stop! Okay?
Just stop!
866
01:01:23,747 --> 01:01:28,013
I am so sick of your
stupid ideas that always end up
867
01:01:28,048 --> 01:01:30,048
with you hurting yourself or
someone else getting hurt.
868
01:01:31,117 --> 01:01:34,789
I'm sorry. I'm just trying to
help us out of a deadly
869
01:01:34,824 --> 01:01:36,023
- situation where someone...
- Okay, look. You know what...
870
01:01:36,059 --> 01:01:36,991
- ...is trying to shoot us.
- ...would help? You know what
871
01:01:37,026 --> 01:01:39,288
would help?
Is if you acted like an adult
872
01:01:39,323 --> 01:01:41,191
for five fucking seconds.
873
01:01:41,930 --> 01:01:43,798
- I do act like an adult! I have a job.
- Shhh!
874
01:01:43,833 --> 01:01:44,966
I have a job.
875
01:01:45,001 --> 01:01:47,461
I go to work. You just sit here
and write letters about
876
01:01:47,496 --> 01:01:49,738
your fucking stupid goldfish!
877
01:01:49,773 --> 01:01:53,071
You have a job? You deliver weed.
They pay you in edibles.
878
01:01:53,106 --> 01:01:55,172
Yeah. They do pay me in edibles.
Edibles that you happily eat.
879
01:01:55,207 --> 01:01:56,039
I don't need edibles
to be happy.
880
01:01:56,075 --> 01:01:57,207
What do you need to be
happy, Madison?
881
01:01:57,243 --> 01:01:59,176
Because all I'm trying to do
is fucking make you happy.
882
01:02:03,820 --> 01:02:05,248
I just want to make you happy.
883
01:02:07,384 --> 01:02:09,087
And apparently
I can't do that anymore
884
01:02:09,122 --> 01:02:10,990
no matter how hard I try. So.
885
01:02:36,413 --> 01:02:39,018
I had no idea I was making you
feel like this.
886
01:02:41,957 --> 01:02:42,956
Yeah.
887
01:02:46,357 --> 01:02:48,027
We're gonna need each other
888
01:02:49,932 --> 01:02:51,866
if we're gonna make it through
the rest of the night.
889
01:03:01,471 --> 01:03:02,811
So what now?
890
01:03:03,880 --> 01:03:05,308
Um...
891
01:03:07,411 --> 01:03:08,410
We wait.
892
01:03:11,547 --> 01:03:13,052
And hope that Andy wakes up.
893
01:05:20,181 --> 01:05:22,577
Hey, Patrick.
Can you come here, please?
894
01:05:28,189 --> 01:05:29,518
I think he's still alive.
895
01:05:32,358 --> 01:05:35,194
If you find the others,
just shoot them.
896
01:05:36,428 --> 01:05:37,427
Where are you going?
897
01:05:38,595 --> 01:05:39,935
To get rid of him.
898
01:05:48,605 --> 01:05:52,013
Uh. Okay. We... we have to
get out of here.
899
01:05:52,048 --> 01:05:54,048
We have to get out of here now.
900
01:05:55,348 --> 01:05:56,578
I think I can break this open.
901
01:05:56,613 --> 01:05:58,448
What the hell are you doing?
Jimmy? Ugh!
902
01:05:58,483 --> 01:06:00,087
Shit!
903
01:06:00,353 --> 01:06:02,221
Can't you...
904
01:06:05,226 --> 01:06:06,621
I know you're in there.
905
01:06:07,492 --> 01:06:08,590
They found the trap door.
906
01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:38,389
I'm coming in!
907
01:07:10,093 --> 01:07:11,290
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
908
01:07:11,688 --> 01:07:12,687
We should just wait it out.
909
01:07:14,163 --> 01:07:15,529
They'll never find us down here.
910
01:07:15,565 --> 01:07:17,659
And then we can figure out how to
open the door when they're gone.
911
01:07:20,169 --> 01:07:21,168
This was your plan.
912
01:07:25,405 --> 01:07:26,437
I know.
913
01:07:27,673 --> 01:07:29,143
We have to help Andy, okay.
We can't just wait here anymore.
914
01:07:29,178 --> 01:07:30,408
Madison, Madison!
915
01:07:41,817 --> 01:07:43,190
Hello?
916
01:07:45,128 --> 01:07:46,127
Hello.
917
01:07:48,593 --> 01:07:50,065
My name's Madison.
918
01:07:52,267 --> 01:07:53,266
Okay.
919
01:07:54,533 --> 01:07:56,830
My boyfriend's name
is Jimmy,
920
01:07:56,865 --> 01:07:59,074
and my uncle's name
is Andy.
921
01:07:59,802 --> 01:08:02,572
He's your uncle? I...
I thought that was your dad.
922
01:08:03,212 --> 01:08:07,346
Oh. You know what? I could see
how that would be confusing.
923
01:08:07,480 --> 01:08:08,479
Yeah.
924
01:08:09,713 --> 01:08:10,745
So...
925
01:08:12,155 --> 01:08:14,551
Patrick.
Is he your boyfriend?
926
01:08:16,357 --> 01:08:17,554
Yeah.
927
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:20,458
What was your name again?
928
01:08:21,890 --> 01:08:23,362
Christine.
929
01:08:27,269 --> 01:08:31,106
Christine, you don't...
have to do this.
930
01:08:32,208 --> 01:08:34,109
What other choice do I have?
931
01:08:38,379 --> 01:08:39,642
Well, what do you want?
932
01:08:40,612 --> 01:08:42,381
Well, I don't want to go
to jail.
933
01:08:43,351 --> 01:08:47,650
You won't. No, I promise,
we would all testify for you.
934
01:08:49,258 --> 01:08:52,820
We just have to stop Patrick
and help my uncle.
935
01:08:53,592 --> 01:08:55,790
He's... he's really angry.
You don't...
936
01:08:56,595 --> 01:08:58,397
You don't know what it's like
when he's angry.
937
01:09:14,514 --> 01:09:16,382
Why are you with him?
938
01:09:19,948 --> 01:09:22,190
He takes care of me, I guess.
939
01:09:24,557 --> 01:09:26,359
Why are you with your boyfriend?
940
01:09:27,824 --> 01:09:28,823
He's fun.
941
01:09:29,694 --> 01:09:31,027
Oh. Okay.
942
01:09:33,665 --> 01:09:37,271
I bet it's really fun to have
somebody else to boss around, huh?
943
01:09:38,835 --> 01:09:41,308
Oh Christine. Christine,
don't cry, okay!
944
01:09:41,640 --> 01:09:43,277
Everything's gonna be fine.
945
01:09:43,444 --> 01:09:44,674
It's gonna be okay.
946
01:09:45,843 --> 01:09:48,546
- Okay.
- We just need to help my uncle.
947
01:09:55,423 --> 01:09:56,521
Okay.
948
01:10:05,433 --> 01:10:06,465
Where are you?
949
01:10:08,865 --> 01:10:12,207
Oh, yeah. Um,
we're under the bedroom door.
950
01:10:13,342 --> 01:10:14,341
What?
951
01:10:14,574 --> 01:10:15,606
How is that possible?
952
01:10:17,280 --> 01:10:18,840
You know, just, just close
the bedroom door.
953
01:10:31,492 --> 01:10:32,887
Okay. It's closed.
954
01:10:36,299 --> 01:10:38,332
Has that been here
the whole time?
955
01:10:38,367 --> 01:10:40,301
Yeah. It's crazy, right?
956
01:10:40,336 --> 01:10:41,830
- Okay, Jimmy. You got this?
- Yeah!
957
01:10:41,865 --> 01:10:43,469
- I need the rifle.
- No!
958
01:10:43,504 --> 01:10:45,339
No, no! It's gonna be fine.
Okay? I'm not...
959
01:10:45,374 --> 01:10:46,670
I'm not gonna hurt Patrick.
Okay?
960
01:10:46,837 --> 01:10:48,507
I'm not gonna hurt him.
Just...
961
01:10:48,905 --> 01:10:51,004
Okay. Call 911. All right?
962
01:10:51,039 --> 01:10:52,610
Just tell them you need
an ambulance!
963
01:11:09,398 --> 01:11:10,397
Stop!
964
01:11:13,633 --> 01:11:14,665
Where's Andy?
965
01:11:17,098 --> 01:11:18,405
He's in the canoe.
966
01:11:42,959 --> 01:11:43,958
Drop the axe.
967
01:11:45,731 --> 01:11:46,763
Why?
968
01:11:47,568 --> 01:11:48,567
'Cause it's over.
969
01:11:51,836 --> 01:11:52,934
Really?
970
01:11:52,969 --> 01:11:55,673
Yeah. Christine called the cops.
971
01:11:55,708 --> 01:11:58,038
Yeah. So you might as well
give up now, Patty-boy.
972
01:12:00,581 --> 01:12:01,811
Christine would never do that.
973
01:12:02,077 --> 01:12:04,385
Oh, well she did.
974
01:12:04,717 --> 01:12:07,751
In fact, you're gonna hear
a siren going any minute now.
975
01:12:13,957 --> 01:12:15,462
The police are still coming.
976
01:12:15,860 --> 01:12:19,367
She... she definitely called them
before she left.
977
01:12:22,031 --> 01:12:23,437
So what's the plan?
978
01:12:24,440 --> 01:12:26,099
We stand here until the police
never come?
979
01:12:26,134 --> 01:12:27,672
See who gets hypothermia first?
980
01:12:29,445 --> 01:12:30,543
I bet you'll be the first
981
01:12:30,578 --> 01:12:32,006
to lose feeling in your
little fingers.
982
01:12:32,910 --> 01:12:35,042
Well, if we get too cold,
we could just shoot you.
983
01:12:35,484 --> 01:12:36,846
Yeah,
we'll just shoot you.
984
01:12:37,585 --> 01:12:38,716
With your BB gun?
985
01:12:39,147 --> 01:12:42,082
How did you...?
But it looks so real!
986
01:12:42,623 --> 01:12:44,018
I could always shoot you
with your gun.
987
01:12:45,758 --> 01:12:46,757
Yeah.
988
01:12:49,025 --> 01:12:51,366
Don't come any closer. No!
989
01:12:51,731 --> 01:12:54,501
I will shoot you.
Do not come any closer.
990
01:12:57,836 --> 01:12:59,440
I don't believe
you have it in you.
991
01:13:02,709 --> 01:13:04,808
You see I've known people
like you my whole life.
992
01:13:04,975 --> 01:13:07,877
You never worked a day. You had
everything handed to you.
993
01:13:09,650 --> 01:13:10,748
No.
994
01:13:11,784 --> 01:13:12,981
You're not gonna shoot me.
995
01:13:16,459 --> 01:13:18,118
Holy shit! I just shot him.
996
01:13:18,923 --> 01:13:20,527
Holy shit! You just shot him.
997
01:13:23,763 --> 01:13:25,059
Oh, my God,
I just killed someone.
998
01:13:25,567 --> 01:13:26,731
You did just kill someone.
999
01:13:28,900 --> 01:13:30,603
Um, Andy?
1000
01:13:31,067 --> 01:13:33,507
Andy! Andy! Oh, my God.
Are you okay?
1001
01:13:33,542 --> 01:13:34,541
Are you okay?
1002
01:13:35,071 --> 01:13:36,642
This guy is not okay.
1003
01:13:36,677 --> 01:13:38,611
Are you okay?
You're, like, okay?
1004
01:13:38,646 --> 01:13:39,645
Okay.
1005
01:13:40,748 --> 01:13:41,878
Okay. Are you breathing?
You're breathing. All right.
1006
01:13:41,913 --> 01:13:43,176
Quite the wound.
1007
01:13:43,211 --> 01:13:44,344
Okay. It's going to be okay.
1008
01:13:44,379 --> 01:13:47,048
I don't know what to do.
I need, like, a pressure thing.
1009
01:13:47,787 --> 01:13:50,425
I don't know. Okay.
1010
01:13:51,219 --> 01:13:52,922
Oh, that was a noise!
That's good.
1011
01:13:54,563 --> 01:13:57,795
Woah! Jimmy! What the fuck!
1012
01:13:57,962 --> 01:13:59,027
What are you doing?
1013
01:13:59,700 --> 01:14:00,897
I gotta get rid of the body!
1014
01:14:01,196 --> 01:14:03,570
What are you talking about?
What? Why?
1015
01:14:04,100 --> 01:14:05,299
You always have to
get rid of the bodies.
1016
01:14:07,708 --> 01:14:11,512
Okay. Now, we have to figure out
how to clean up all the blood.
1017
01:14:11,547 --> 01:14:15,813
Jimmy, just... just... just stop.
Okay? Just... just stop everything.
1018
01:14:18,554 --> 01:14:19,652
Oh.
1019
01:14:21,216 --> 01:14:22,985
I guess she did call the police.
1020
01:14:48,551 --> 01:14:51,486
Could you just explain to me
one more time...
1021
01:14:53,556 --> 01:14:55,688
what the bubble wrap was
supposed to do?
1022
01:14:57,087 --> 01:14:58,592
I just... I don't...
1023
01:15:02,092 --> 01:15:03,498
That's the part I don't get.
1024
01:15:08,164 --> 01:15:11,572
We were able to make our
case that we acted in self-defense.
1025
01:15:11,970 --> 01:15:15,972
Though, Jimmy's case was
a little more complicated.
1026
01:15:20,044 --> 01:15:22,011
Christine never made it
to New Orleans.
1027
01:15:22,717 --> 01:15:24,882
She was spotted by
state troopers and arrested
1028
01:15:24,917 --> 01:15:26,587
before she even
got to Illinois.
1029
01:15:31,319 --> 01:15:34,023
Our parents not only forgave
us for all of our stupidity
1030
01:15:34,058 --> 01:15:35,090
but...
1031
01:15:36,626 --> 01:15:39,028
they provided invaluable
support that we gladly accepted
1032
01:15:39,063 --> 01:15:41,767
for the first time
in a long time.
1033
01:15:49,073 --> 01:15:50,908
My Uncle Andy made
a full recovery.
1034
01:15:51,845 --> 01:15:53,812
Well, basically.
1035
01:15:55,482 --> 01:15:58,212
Most nights I envy his inability
to remember the robbery well.
1036
01:16:04,319 --> 01:16:05,318
Hey.
1037
01:16:06,695 --> 01:16:07,694
Hey.
1038
01:16:19,972 --> 01:16:20,971
Well, and...
1039
01:16:32,116 --> 01:16:34,655
It's incredible
how the worst of times
1040
01:16:34,690 --> 01:16:36,118
can bring out
the best in people.
1041
01:16:37,055 --> 01:16:39,352
I never expected that
the worst night of my life
1042
01:16:39,387 --> 01:16:41,728
would help me discover
my best self.
1043
01:16:42,126 --> 01:16:44,225
Though it was an unfortunate
chance that Patrick
1044
01:16:44,260 --> 01:16:46,227
and Christine chose to rob
our house,
1045
01:16:46,966 --> 01:16:49,263
we chose to take
certain actions to...
1046
01:16:49,804 --> 01:16:50,803
Wait, we...
1047
01:16:51,739 --> 01:16:52,838
"We chose to take
certain actions to..."
1048
01:16:52,873 --> 01:16:55,742
That is super awkward. Uh...
1049
01:16:59,748 --> 01:17:01,011
Oh. Okay.
1050
01:17:01,046 --> 01:17:04,685
"It was our..."
1051
01:17:07,085 --> 01:17:10,284
"It was our actions that got us
out of the house alive."
1052
01:17:11,155 --> 01:17:12,154
Yeah.
1053
01:17:13,457 --> 01:17:16,257
"I realize this is probably not
the answer you were expecting
1054
01:17:16,292 --> 01:17:17,962
when you posed the question,
1055
01:17:17,997 --> 01:17:20,767
'What is the biggest obstacle
that you have overcome?'
1056
01:17:22,166 --> 01:17:25,266
But I assure you that
I bring a unique life experience
1057
01:17:25,301 --> 01:17:27,675
and a proven ability to
work with...
1058
01:17:29,877 --> 01:17:31,844
difficult people.
1059
01:17:33,276 --> 01:17:35,650
I have persevered through
the darkest night,
1060
01:17:36,279 --> 01:17:38,246
and I am prepared for
the challenges ahead."
1061
01:17:50,095 --> 01:17:51,798
Madison!
1062
01:18:02,542 --> 01:18:07,542
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