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1
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:31,739
♪ Do I attract you? ♪
♪ Do I repulse you with my queasy smile? ♪
2
00:00:31,823 --> 00:00:33,699
♪ Am I too dirty? ♪
♪ Am I too flirty? ♪
3
00:00:33,783 --> 00:00:36,618
♪ Do I like what you like? ♪
♪ Why don't you like me? ♪
4
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:39,496
♪ Why don't you like me ♪
♪ Without making me try? ♪
5
00:00:39,664 --> 00:00:42,082
♪ I try to be like Grace Kelly. ♪
6
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:46,003
♪ But all her looks were too sad. ♪
7
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:49,882
♪ So I try a little Freddie ♪
8
00:00:51,468 --> 00:00:54,803
♪ I've gone identity mad! ♪
9
00:00:55,305 --> 00:00:57,431
♪ I could be brown ♪
♪ I could be blue. ♪
10
00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:59,141
♪ Gotta be everything more. ♪
11
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:01,305
♪ Why don't you like me? ♪
♪ Why don't you like me? ♪
12
00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:03,062
♪ Why don't you walk out the door? ♪
13
00:01:03,146 --> 00:01:04,730
- Here you go, sweetie.
- Oh, thanks.
14
00:01:04,814 --> 00:01:06,899
I tried banana nut
sprout this morning.
15
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,068
Thought, you know, a
little change of pace,
16
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:12,446
thought somebody deserves something
special for his birthday.
17
00:01:12,530 --> 00:01:13,572
Yeah. It's good.
18
00:01:13,656 --> 00:01:16,450
Okay, so I made reservations
tonight at Babbo at 8:30.
19
00:01:16,534 --> 00:01:20,245
I thought maybe we could talk
about, you know, setting a date?
20
00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:23,791
Did you just make a
plan to make a plan?
21
00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,751
- Did I just do that again?
- Yeah, you did.
22
00:01:25,835 --> 00:01:27,878
- Sorry.
- It's all right.
23
00:01:28,213 --> 00:01:30,047
All right, I'll see
you later, okay?
24
00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:32,716
- Hey, hey, hey! Love you.
- Love you, too.
25
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:34,593
- Bye.
- Bye.
26
00:01:34,719 --> 00:01:36,762
- Happy birthday!
- You, too!
27
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,561
Hello, sir. Would you
like to buy some cookies?
28
00:01:44,813 --> 00:01:48,273
I would. I really would.
I just...
29
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:51,296
Unfortunately, I don't
have any money.
30
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:53,612
I don't have any cookies.
31
00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:57,658
Jack?
32
00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:00,786
I need a key.
33
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,085
Wow.
34
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,171
Wow. That...
35
00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:13,632
A key?
36
00:02:13,716 --> 00:02:15,801
What? No! I want a key.
37
00:02:15,885 --> 00:02:18,566
Like an actual key to your apartment
so I don't have to wait outside
38
00:02:18,638 --> 00:02:20,806
when I'm dressed in these
little slutty outfits.
39
00:02:20,890 --> 00:02:23,058
I don't want to live with you.
40
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,977
No offense.
41
00:02:25,061 --> 00:02:27,604
And you know I mean this in
the nicest possible way.
42
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:31,150
You're not exactly serious
boyfriend/marriage material.
43
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:33,485
And I pride myself on that.
44
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:36,864
I gotta go. I'll see you next week.
What're we doing?
45
00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:41,034
Mother of the baby saved from the
fire and the sexy shirtless fireman?
46
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,954
♪ I could be brown I could be blue ♪
47
00:02:44,038 --> 00:02:45,914
♪ I could be violet sky ♪
48
00:02:45,999 --> 00:02:47,916
♪ I could be hurtful ♪
♪ I could be purple ♪
49
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,835
♪ I could be anything you like. ♪
50
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:51,837
♪ Gotta be green Gotta be mean. ♪
51
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,797
♪ Gotta be everything more. ♪
52
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,757
♪ Why don't you like me? ♪
♪ Why don't you like me? ♪
53
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,676
♪ Why don't you walk out the door? ♪
54
00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:59,678
♪ I could be brown ♪
♪ I could be blue. ♪
55
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:01,638
♪ Gotta be everything more. ♪
56
00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,849
♪ Why don't you like me? ♪
♪ Why don't you like me? ♪
57
00:03:03,933 --> 00:03:06,059
♪ Why don't you walk out the door? ♪
58
00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,065
- McNally.
- Chong.
59
00:03:24,245 --> 00:03:25,245
Not now.
60
00:03:25,496 --> 00:03:29,541
Hey! Hey! Hey, hey! Here we go! Yeah!
That's looking good! All right!
61
00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,586
That's good form right there.
Let's keep that up, huh?
62
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:36,048
That's a beautiful veneer. Just throw
that on the edge-band and we're set.
63
00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:38,050
- All right!
- Hey, Jack?
64
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:41,720
- Do you know what time it is?
- What? I can't hear you over the saw.
65
00:03:41,804 --> 00:03:43,305
We're in the zone over here.
I don't want to lose focus.
66
00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:45,098
That's how people
lose fingers, huh?
67
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,393
- You're fired.
- All right. We are fired up, boys!
68
00:03:48,478 --> 00:03:50,479
You are fired!
69
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:53,857
All right.
70
00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:57,152
I'll play you for it.
You win, I'm out.
71
00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,364
I win. I get a second chance.
72
00:04:00,448 --> 00:04:03,700
It's not a second chance when
you've had a hundred of them.
73
00:04:10,833 --> 00:04:15,837
Oh! Nine-seven! Keeping my job!
Yeah!
74
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:21,677
Okay. All right.
75
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,179
- I'll give you one.
- Do you know what?
76
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,555
You're supposed to
be the future boss,
77
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,350
but you're too busy being
the life of the party.
78
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:31,270
At some point, you're gonna
have to step up and be a man.
79
00:04:36,025 --> 00:04:40,153
- Eight-nine! Unemployment!
- Okay, man. You want to play?
80
00:04:43,032 --> 00:04:45,659
Nine-nine! Food stamps!
Tastes so good.
81
00:04:50,873 --> 00:04:54,751
- Okay, that's not even a shot.
- The boss got game! The boss got game!
82
00:04:55,503 --> 00:04:57,629
Ten-nine. This is it, Jack.
83
00:05:02,010 --> 00:05:06,346
- You know what? This is ridiculous.
- You know what? That's your problem.
84
00:05:06,431 --> 00:05:10,892
You can't handle the pressure. As soon as
you think you're going to lose, you quit.
85
00:05:14,272 --> 00:05:15,647
Game over, Jack.
86
00:05:15,732 --> 00:05:18,108
Don't get me wrong.
You're like a son to me.
87
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:24,031
- Dad, I am your son.
- Yeah, and it's time to cut the cord.
88
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:26,491
Let's go clean out your desk.
89
00:05:30,913 --> 00:05:33,081
Mason has no idea,
not an idea at all.
90
00:05:33,249 --> 00:05:36,960
- That you're pathetic, or...
- What, do you think I went overboard?
91
00:05:37,754 --> 00:05:40,922
No. No, I think it's the
exact right amount of board.
92
00:05:41,007 --> 00:05:43,216
Which is what I am right now.
Can we start drinking?
93
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:45,677
Of course. Okay, lookit!
These are for Mason.
94
00:05:45,762 --> 00:05:46,928
What's that?
95
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,097
Vegas? I thought
you hated Vegas.
96
00:05:49,182 --> 00:05:51,383
I do, but, you know, that's
why they call it a gift tip,
97
00:05:51,392 --> 00:05:55,103
- because it truly is selfless.
- Oh, thanks.
98
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:00,067
Okay, everyone listen! I'm
going to bring him in,
99
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:03,320
I'm gonna turn on the lights, and
that's when you yell, "Surprise!"
100
00:06:03,404 --> 00:06:05,864
Oh, that's how a surprise party works!
I'm totally gonna write that down.
101
00:06:05,948 --> 00:06:08,658
Okay. Everyone, hide!
Hide, hide, hide!
102
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,582
- Hi, sweetie!
- Hey!
103
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:18,752
Welcome home. Happy birthday.
Okay, come inside...
104
00:06:18,836 --> 00:06:22,047
- Listen, Joy. We need to talk.
- Okay. Well, let's do it inside. Okay?
105
00:06:22,131 --> 00:06:24,466
No, no, no. I can't,
or I'll never do this.
106
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,926
Look, there's no easy
way to say this.
107
00:06:26,010 --> 00:06:27,844
Okay, then don't. Okay?
Just think it,
108
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,222
and then later, I'll try to figure
out what it was you were thinking.
109
00:06:30,306 --> 00:06:31,515
Okay? Let's just go inside.
110
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:34,351
No, no, no, no, no, no!
This can't wait, Joy.
111
00:06:35,144 --> 00:06:36,812
You know I have a
really important job.
112
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:37,938
- Right?
- Yeah.
113
00:06:38,022 --> 00:06:41,066
So when I come home, I want
this place to be an escape.
114
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:44,361
And as of late, it's not.
115
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:48,990
Yes, the sex is great, okay?
I mean, that's fantastic,
116
00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:53,203
and I can't tell you how much I appreciate
all the things you've been trying
117
00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,329
with my balls.
118
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,833
But the rest is so exhausting.
119
00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:02,838
You're so on all the time, with all the
scheduling and planning, it's just...
120
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,674
I don't want to marry you, Joy.
121
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,718
I'm leaving you.
122
00:07:10,054 --> 00:07:12,973
Well, I mean, this is my place, so
technically, you would be the one
123
00:07:13,057 --> 00:07:15,892
that has to leave, but...
Are you crying?
124
00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:20,522
Surprise.
125
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:24,192
- Oh, shitballs.
- Yeah.
126
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,527
Hey!
127
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,696
Hey. Here...
128
00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,615
Do you have any idea how
much money I've made him?
129
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:33,452
You're my lawyer. Can I
sue him for something?
130
00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:36,788
Well, the problem with suing your
father is that he's your dad.
131
00:07:36,873 --> 00:07:38,623
He'd love it. He'd
think we were bonding.
132
00:07:39,750 --> 00:07:43,378
Maybe he would be! You don't know.
Take him to court. It might be nice.
133
00:07:43,463 --> 00:07:47,090
- What am I gonna do about money?
- You're just realizing that right now?
134
00:07:47,175 --> 00:07:49,926
- Fascinating.
- I could do a lot of things for money.
135
00:07:50,011 --> 00:07:51,344
I'm good at stuff.
136
00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,389
I'll bet you $5 I can finish
this beer faster than you.
137
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:57,058
Really? You're on.
138
00:07:59,854 --> 00:08:01,480
He doesn't even deserve me.
139
00:08:01,564 --> 00:08:03,648
Here's my thought on what we should
do with this whole Mason thing.
140
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:04,816
- Okay.
- Once a week,
141
00:08:04,901 --> 00:08:06,526
we get some of my brother's
loser-ass friends
142
00:08:06,611 --> 00:08:09,321
to go over to Mason's
house, ring his doorbell,
143
00:08:09,405 --> 00:08:12,199
and when he answers,
they're just gonna, bang,
144
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:14,743
junkpunch him right up
in his man business
145
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,027
and then he's gonna keel over.
146
00:08:16,078 --> 00:08:19,122
While he's writhing on the
ground screaming, "Why?"
147
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:21,333
they'll go, "You know why!"
148
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,753
Wow! Did you just think of that?
149
00:08:24,837 --> 00:08:26,797
No, I was thinking about
it a lot on the way over.
150
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:29,299
You are a child!
151
00:08:30,468 --> 00:08:33,512
- What is that? What is that?
- Double or nothing.
152
00:08:33,596 --> 00:08:35,222
Joy, you're gonna need
to take off this ring.
153
00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:37,891
No, I... I'm just...
I'm just gonna...
154
00:08:37,975 --> 00:08:40,519
I'm just going to wear
it on the other hand.
155
00:08:41,020 --> 00:08:42,646
You're on fire. Man,
you are on fire.
156
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,689
This is like... I
mean, you're lucky.
157
00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:47,150
- I don't feel good.
- We need to capitalize on this.
158
00:08:47,235 --> 00:08:48,235
You know what's gonna
make you feel better?
159
00:08:48,319 --> 00:08:49,361
What?
160
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:52,656
Where's the one place where
you can step up and be a man?
161
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:53,865
Community college?
162
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:57,536
Where can you go where you
can forget all your troubles
163
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:59,579
and act like a total idiot?
164
00:08:59,664 --> 00:09:03,833
I am talking about one place
and one place only, my friend.
165
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,168
Do not say Vegas.
166
00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:06,336
Please say Vegas.
167
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,171
- Vegas, baby.
- Vegas?
168
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:09,673
- Las Vegas?
- What?
169
00:09:09,757 --> 00:09:11,633
Swish it around in your mouth a little bit.
Think about it.
170
00:09:11,717 --> 00:09:13,385
- Vegas!
- Vegas.
171
00:09:13,469 --> 00:09:15,387
- Carefree.
- Say it like you mean it.
172
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,222
- Spontaneous.
- I can't hear you!
173
00:09:17,306 --> 00:09:18,890
- Vegas!
- Vegas?
174
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:24,437
- Vegas!
- Vegas!
175
00:09:29,777 --> 00:09:31,695
Hello, Las Vegas!
176
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:37,242
Wow.
177
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:39,327
Vegas.
178
00:09:41,497 --> 00:09:44,457
Everyone, I'm so sorry, but our
computers are down right now,
179
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,294
so just bear with us, please.
I'm sorry. I know.
180
00:09:51,090 --> 00:09:53,842
Okay, your fiance
is one lucky guy.
181
00:09:54,218 --> 00:09:55,260
I love Vegas!
182
00:09:58,514 --> 00:10:00,390
Time to get a big-boy drink.
183
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:05,645
I'll have a vodka and a Scotch.
184
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:17,449
This is where I'm passing out.
Pants, you're out of here.
185
00:10:32,214 --> 00:10:34,382
Did we ever tell you you
scream like a girl?
186
00:10:37,053 --> 00:10:40,013
My eyes! It burns!
187
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:45,060
My head! My head and
my eyes are burning!
188
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:46,603
My back!
189
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,566
My nose! My nose now!
190
00:10:59,700 --> 00:11:02,077
Whoa! Whoa! Take it easy!
191
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:15,715
It's okay! It's okay!
They're gay!
192
00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,425
- What?
- They're gay!
193
00:11:20,596 --> 00:11:23,348
This... No, no, this is
not what it looks like.
194
00:11:23,432 --> 00:11:25,233
We just... We all got
booked in the same room.
195
00:11:25,267 --> 00:11:29,270
Let's just go downstairs.
I smell an upgrade!
196
00:11:30,231 --> 00:11:32,816
- You guys aren't gay?
- No.
197
00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,282
- I got this.
- No.
198
00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:43,743
Just let me handle it, okay?
199
00:11:44,995 --> 00:11:45,995
Okay.
200
00:11:46,455 --> 00:11:48,915
Curtis. You and I
have a problem.
201
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:50,709
I think we both know
how this game works.
202
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:53,211
I complain, and you tell me
there's nothing you can do,
203
00:11:53,295 --> 00:11:55,630
but we both know
that's a big, fat lie,
204
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:57,841
so why don't you just
save us both the trouble
205
00:11:57,925 --> 00:11:59,300
and type in those special codes
206
00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:01,261
that you know you're
gonna type in eventually
207
00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:05,265
and find me two rooms
that are so nice
208
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:08,101
that it turns my night
right back around?
209
00:12:08,644 --> 00:12:11,479
She's awfully hostile
for a girl named Joy.
210
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,484
I'm going to do exactly what
you're telling me to do, because
211
00:12:17,361 --> 00:12:18,737
I'm a little frightened of you.
212
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:19,988
These are penthouse suites.
213
00:12:20,072 --> 00:12:22,490
You can't get any higher than
that without going on the roof,
214
00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:26,411
and you're not allowed on the
roof, because people jump.
215
00:12:32,001 --> 00:12:33,418
Penthouse suites.
216
00:12:33,502 --> 00:12:34,878
- Nice!
- No!
217
00:12:34,962 --> 00:12:36,838
- Yeah.
- That's not bad.
218
00:12:36,922 --> 00:12:38,673
Well, you're welcome.
219
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:40,800
Now watch and learn.
220
00:12:42,303 --> 00:12:43,928
- Hey, buddy.
- Oh, hi. How are you?
221
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:46,931
I think you just met
my friend back there.
222
00:12:47,016 --> 00:12:48,433
Kind of a scary person.
223
00:12:48,517 --> 00:12:50,101
Oh, Egyptian cotton.
That's nice.
224
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:52,771
I want to apologize for her. For
three weeks out of the month,
225
00:12:52,855 --> 00:12:54,773
we get to enjoy God's
most precious creation,
226
00:12:54,857 --> 00:12:56,608
and on week four,
the bill arrives.
227
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:59,277
I know what you mean.
A period, right?
228
00:13:01,363 --> 00:13:03,615
Look, I don't want to push here,
229
00:13:03,699 --> 00:13:07,452
but I know that a man in your position is
capable of producing certain amenities.
230
00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:12,290
Planet Hollywood. Yeah.
231
00:13:13,501 --> 00:13:14,542
VIP!
232
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,679
Hey. So, you're from New
York, we're from New York.
233
00:13:28,015 --> 00:13:31,226
- We're going to Le Cirque, please!
- Come on.
234
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:35,772
Look, I didn't bring my buddy
all the way out to Vegas
235
00:13:35,940 --> 00:13:37,482
so he could get his ass kicked.
Right?
236
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:39,317
So the least you could do is
help me show him a good time.
237
00:13:39,401 --> 00:13:42,487
Your buddy wouldn't know a good
time if it sat on his face.
238
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:46,825
Okay, you know what, Stripper? You
are kind of a disgusting skank.
239
00:13:46,909 --> 00:13:48,952
Driver, we'll get out here!
Thank you!
240
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:50,119
- Okay, bye!
- Thank you.
241
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:52,914
- Use a condom, boys.
- Bye-bye. Bye. Just go!
242
00:13:56,752 --> 00:13:58,336
Oh, come on. One drink.
243
00:13:58,420 --> 00:14:00,922
I'm a pretty fun guy.
You can ask around.
244
00:14:01,757 --> 00:14:04,133
Thanks, but we have
dinner reservations.
245
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:07,262
And we have to map out our
assault on the Strip.
246
00:14:07,805 --> 00:14:10,640
You have a plan to make plans?
247
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,355
Excuse me?
248
00:14:18,148 --> 00:14:20,692
I bet you look really
good with your hair down.
249
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,944
- My hair is down.
- One drink!
250
00:14:24,446 --> 00:14:25,822
I dare you!
251
00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:36,916
Did I invent hip-hop? No.
But I was there.
252
00:14:37,418 --> 00:14:39,794
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
253
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,838
- So, Joy.
- Yeah?
254
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:43,715
What brings you to Sin City?
255
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:46,718
You know, just
being spontaneous,
256
00:14:46,802 --> 00:14:49,178
cutting loose, like everyone else.
How about yourself?
257
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:52,432
Yeah. Me? Oh, I'm
here on business.
258
00:14:52,516 --> 00:14:55,393
Big business, actually. I'm...
259
00:14:55,477 --> 00:14:57,020
I'm a pretty important guy
260
00:14:57,187 --> 00:14:58,730
in my field.
261
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:00,565
Really?
262
00:15:01,525 --> 00:15:02,525
No.
263
00:15:03,402 --> 00:15:04,652
Actually,
264
00:15:06,530 --> 00:15:11,326
I just got fired.
So, cheers to that.
265
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,666
I just got dumped, so, salud.
266
00:15:19,793 --> 00:15:22,754
Did I mention that I got fired
by my boss-slash-father?
267
00:15:22,838 --> 00:15:26,341
Did I mention that I threw a surprise
birthday party for my fiance
268
00:15:26,425 --> 00:15:29,510
and the surprise was that he dumped me
in front of all of our closest friends
269
00:15:29,595 --> 00:15:31,804
while they hid in the closet?
270
00:15:32,139 --> 00:15:33,932
Wow. Okay, you win.
271
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,517
Excuse me. We're gonna
need a whole bottle.
272
00:15:36,602 --> 00:15:39,604
I saved a baby today.
I'm not a hero, though.
273
00:15:39,688 --> 00:15:42,523
- You know what I mean? I'm not a...
- He's married.
274
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:46,027
This is my lesbian sister. Tell
her about your softball game.
275
00:15:46,111 --> 00:15:47,695
Tell her about your
softball team.
276
00:15:49,615 --> 00:15:53,117
What do you say we bet 10-to-1,
with $125 on the hard eight?
277
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:55,620
- Bets are right there.
- All right. Roll them out.
278
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:59,457
No, no, no, no, no. I wouldn't...
I wouldn't bet on me winning.
279
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,126
You roll, princess.
280
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:06,381
All right. Go, 44! 44!
281
00:16:10,719 --> 00:16:12,804
This is my party trick.
Here it goes.
282
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,768
What are you gonna do?
Are you going to cut...
283
00:16:17,559 --> 00:16:18,977
You know, you were
right about me.
284
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,186
You just cut it off!
285
00:16:20,270 --> 00:16:23,815
It's like you're trying to come in
first but it's somebody else's race.
286
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,194
- It's like Egypt!
- It's amazing!
287
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:31,531
You never felt good enough, so you
took yourself out of the game.
288
00:16:32,950 --> 00:16:35,910
To everyone who's
ever been dumped
289
00:16:37,079 --> 00:16:39,414
and to everyone who
has ever been fired,
290
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:43,626
when I say, "Screw!"
you say, "You!"
291
00:16:43,752 --> 00:16:46,879
- Screw!
- You!
292
00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:49,132
Yes!
293
00:16:57,266 --> 00:17:00,101
I think I just got to the point
where I wasn't even trying.
294
00:17:00,185 --> 00:17:01,728
Why should you try?
295
00:17:01,812 --> 00:17:05,148
I work 80 hours a week and
I don't even know why.
296
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:07,692
I've been so naughty!
297
00:17:07,776 --> 00:17:09,986
Out of my way! Out of my way!
298
00:17:10,654 --> 00:17:12,238
I'm not usually this honest.
299
00:17:12,614 --> 00:17:14,282
I'm usually not this fun.
300
00:17:25,753 --> 00:17:26,836
The best part is...
301
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,005
- We can really talk.
- Really connect.
302
00:17:29,089 --> 00:17:32,717
Yeah, 'cause you're like the last person
on the planet I'd ever sleep with!
303
00:17:32,801 --> 00:17:34,594
Ever! Ever! Ever!
304
00:17:37,431 --> 00:17:39,348
This is gonna be fun!
305
00:18:06,126 --> 00:18:08,836
Oh, God. Please be fake.
Please be fake.
306
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,174
Oh, God.
307
00:18:35,405 --> 00:18:39,075
No, no, please, please, please!
Oh, please, please, no!
308
00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:41,759
You can't get divorced here, okay?
You gotta do it where you live.
309
00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:44,510
Besides, you don't want a divorce,
all right? You want an annulment.
310
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:47,834
See, what happens in Vegas, you
pay for when you get back home.
311
00:18:47,918 --> 00:18:49,043
That's what the thing is.
312
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,838
What if she's a clinger?
313
00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:54,841
What if she's a crier? What if
she's, like, a clinging crier?
314
00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:57,468
You murder her. Problem solved.
315
00:19:00,013 --> 00:19:01,722
You don't have to yell.
316
00:19:01,849 --> 00:19:03,224
Was there any part of the night,
317
00:19:03,308 --> 00:19:06,388
I don't know, maybe, say, the part where
I was about to marry the rebound guy,
318
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,854
that you thought,
"Hey, oh my God!"
319
00:19:07,938 --> 00:19:10,398
"This is a really good
time for an intervention?"
320
00:19:10,482 --> 00:19:11,482
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
321
00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:14,277
I, like, threw up in
my own purse, so...
322
00:19:15,445 --> 00:19:18,322
This is a city built on
excess and bad decisions.
323
00:19:18,407 --> 00:19:20,533
Vegas should be the only place on
Earth where you can't get married.
324
00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:22,160
Pull it together, dude.
325
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,662
You got to charm that ring
off her finger, okay?
326
00:19:32,796 --> 00:19:35,006
- You all right?
- Yeah.
327
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:39,927
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
328
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:43,973
- Hi!
- Good morning.
329
00:19:44,057 --> 00:19:45,516
- Morning.
- Good morning.
330
00:19:45,601 --> 00:19:47,351
Morning, morning, morning.
331
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:50,813
I could use some coffee.
332
00:19:51,398 --> 00:19:52,690
Oh, God, yeah.
333
00:19:53,775 --> 00:19:55,985
Well, what's mine is yours.
334
00:19:57,905 --> 00:20:00,114
Here, well, you want to, uh...
335
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,783
Mi coffee es su coffee.
336
00:20:08,790 --> 00:20:11,542
- This is good orange juice.
- Yeah. It's very good.
337
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:13,461
It's ridiculously good.
The orange juice is good.
338
00:20:13,545 --> 00:20:16,422
- I don't usually like pulp. You a fan?
- Not really.
339
00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,634
- Jack?
- Yes.
340
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:22,970
- Can I talk to you for a second?
- Yep.
341
00:20:23,805 --> 00:20:25,890
Yes. Yep. Talk. Sure.
342
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,226
They're so cute together!
343
00:20:28,310 --> 00:20:32,021
If I could make someone dead
with my mind, it would be you.
344
00:20:44,660 --> 00:20:45,993
- Yo.
- Hey.
345
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:50,289
So!
346
00:20:53,293 --> 00:20:55,336
- Great night, huh?
- Yeah!
347
00:20:55,420 --> 00:20:58,506
I mean, you are a
lot of fun, Joy.
348
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:01,801
- I am?
- Yeah!
349
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:04,428
A lot of fun. That... I
mean, last night was
350
00:21:06,390 --> 00:21:07,390
so.
351
00:21:08,183 --> 00:21:09,517
Great.
352
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:13,896
Actually, you know, there was like...
Maybe there was one tiny little thing...
353
00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:16,315
I think I know what you mean.
354
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:19,318
Okay, this...
355
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,862
There's no easy way to say
this, so I'm just going to...
356
00:21:21,947 --> 00:21:24,198
Whoa, whoa. Wait. Are...
357
00:21:24,866 --> 00:21:26,033
Are you
358
00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:28,703
- dumping me?
- You didn't...
359
00:21:28,787 --> 00:21:30,788
No! I was coming down
here to dump you!
360
00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:32,707
- Oh! Jeez... Okay, so we're good!
- Yeah!
361
00:21:32,791 --> 00:21:35,126
- Okay, disaster averted!
- You said it!
362
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:37,586
- Yeah, no. Bullet dodged!
- You betcha!
363
00:21:37,671 --> 00:21:39,714
I mean, pooch unscrewed!
Free at last!
364
00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:42,466
- Thank God Almighty, I'm free at last.
- Okay. I got it, okay?
365
00:21:42,551 --> 00:21:44,969
- Got it.
- Okay. I'm sorry. I...
366
00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:48,055
You just seem like the type of girl who's
looking for a serious relationship,
367
00:21:48,140 --> 00:21:50,060
and I'm not that... I mean, you...
Like...
368
00:21:50,100 --> 00:21:52,643
No offense, but you seem
like a lot of work.
369
00:21:52,728 --> 00:21:55,896
Like it would take, like, a
team of guys, and I'm not...
370
00:21:57,065 --> 00:22:00,776
Marriages are an
outdated concept...
371
00:22:00,902 --> 00:22:02,653
Are you dumping me again?
372
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:06,018
- I'm in a really weird place right now...
- Where's that, Jack? The starting line?
373
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:10,453
Because I have news for you, buddy.
The gun went off a long time ago.
374
00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:12,913
Okay! Look at that! Good
luck with the job, huh?
375
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:15,541
"Employee handles
criticism poorly!"
376
00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:18,545
Well, then maybe you should
teach a seminar, Jack,
377
00:22:18,628 --> 00:22:21,005
considering you can't even keep
a job with your own father!
378
00:22:21,089 --> 00:22:24,383
You know, the one person who's
biologically programed to love you,
379
00:22:24,468 --> 00:22:26,761
and even he can't stand you!
380
00:22:26,928 --> 00:22:30,514
Look at that. You had to come all the way
to Vegas and marry a complete stranger
381
00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:34,477
just to prove that you're not a robot.
Congratulations, Joy! That was a feeling!
382
00:22:34,561 --> 00:22:37,021
Oh, I have a feeling, all right!
It's called nausea!
383
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:38,856
Yeah? "Oh, I
have a feeling, all right!"
384
00:22:38,940 --> 00:22:40,024
"It's called nausea!"
385
00:22:40,108 --> 00:22:42,902
- How old are you, five?
- Six, actually. I'm six.
386
00:22:42,986 --> 00:22:44,195
You know, this is why
we'd never work.
387
00:22:44,279 --> 00:22:48,449
'Cause I could never, ever be with
someone that's so completely broken!
388
00:22:48,617 --> 00:22:49,909
- Broken?
- Broken!
389
00:22:49,993 --> 00:22:52,203
Broken. You know what? You
don't even know me, mister!
390
00:22:52,287 --> 00:22:54,955
No, I don't know you, and I got
a feeling that neither do you.
391
00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:56,624
You know what? I'll call
you about the annulment.
392
00:22:56,708 --> 00:23:00,002
How about this? Why don't
you just e-mail me?
393
00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:02,922
Hey. Hey, hey, hey!
394
00:23:03,006 --> 00:23:05,758
- We'll always have Vegas!
- Hey! That's my quarter!
395
00:23:26,655 --> 00:23:28,030
What the...
396
00:23:28,115 --> 00:23:31,492
♪ We are the champions, ♪
♪ my friends. ♪
397
00:23:33,328 --> 00:23:36,914
♪ And we'll keep on ♪
♪ fighting till the end ♪
398
00:23:36,998 --> 00:23:40,334
I'm really, really rich!
I'm really, really rich!
399
00:23:40,836 --> 00:23:41,877
We are the champions.
400
00:23:41,962 --> 00:23:43,838
That was my quarter!
401
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,508
We are the champions.
402
00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:50,261
- We did it!
- Richest man in the world!
403
00:23:50,345 --> 00:23:52,346
No time for losers 'Cause
we are the champions.
404
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:55,891
A big giant check! I'm so happy!
I've never been...
405
00:23:56,685 --> 00:23:58,352
I'm really happy!
406
00:23:58,812 --> 00:24:00,938
Oh, my God! That was my quarter!
407
00:24:03,358 --> 00:24:05,484
Congratulations! You just
quadrupled your investment!
408
00:24:05,569 --> 00:24:07,319
What, you think this is all yours?
God!
409
00:24:07,404 --> 00:24:11,490
Yes, it's mine. I put the quarter in
the machine and I pulled the lever.
410
00:24:11,575 --> 00:24:15,870
My quarter on the machine that I was
using, the one I loosened up for you!
411
00:24:16,371 --> 00:24:18,205
That's right! Now if
you'll excuse me,
412
00:24:18,290 --> 00:24:21,208
I have a giant colofrul
check to deposit!
413
00:24:22,085 --> 00:24:25,296
Whatever happened to "What's
mine is yours, baby"?
414
00:24:26,298 --> 00:24:29,341
We're married now, remember?
415
00:24:33,930 --> 00:24:38,517
More importantly, Your Honor, my client
only knew Miss McNally for four hours
416
00:24:38,602 --> 00:24:40,186
before they "got married,"
417
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:43,063
three and a half of which
were spent in a state of
418
00:24:43,148 --> 00:24:44,815
total inebriation.
419
00:24:45,567 --> 00:24:46,567
Mmm-hmm.
420
00:24:46,776 --> 00:24:49,028
You. Other one.
421
00:24:49,112 --> 00:24:52,406
You have any evidence that you both
knowingly entered into this marriage,
422
00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:53,991
that it's not just a sham?
423
00:24:54,075 --> 00:24:55,409
Let me see.
424
00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:59,038
Would a note do?
425
00:25:00,248 --> 00:25:01,707
It's a start.
426
00:25:06,213 --> 00:25:09,089
And then there's a photo.
427
00:25:10,967 --> 00:25:12,092
Nice.
428
00:25:13,762 --> 00:25:15,137
I didn't
know anything about that.
429
00:25:15,222 --> 00:25:16,722
There's also
430
00:25:18,808 --> 00:25:21,977
- a video.
- And I am going to provide for her,
431
00:25:22,062 --> 00:25:23,938
I'm gonna love her,
432
00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,774
and I'm going to
provide for her,
433
00:25:26,858 --> 00:25:29,193
- 'cause we're married!
- Married!
434
00:25:30,445 --> 00:25:32,446
We're all gonna get laid!
435
00:25:34,157 --> 00:25:36,617
Was that you, Cueball?
His lawyer?
436
00:25:37,369 --> 00:25:39,954
I didn't... I don't
have my glasses on.
437
00:25:45,126 --> 00:25:46,877
I don't like you.
438
00:25:46,962 --> 00:25:48,712
I don't like any of you.
439
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:52,341
Your generation, with your
Vegas and your Internet
440
00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:54,635
and your "I want it right now."
441
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:57,680
You know, gay people aren't
destroying the sanctity of marriage,
442
00:25:57,764 --> 00:25:59,098
you people are.
443
00:25:59,182 --> 00:26:01,809
Marriage is about
love and commitment.
444
00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:07,439
Listen, I've been married for 25 years to
the same wondefrul, infuriating woman,
445
00:26:07,524 --> 00:26:10,150
and granted, there are days when
I want to light her on fire,
446
00:26:10,235 --> 00:26:12,820
but I don't, because I love her,
447
00:26:12,904 --> 00:26:14,321
and that would be illegal.
448
00:26:14,406 --> 00:26:16,326
And you know something? I
might be old-fashioned,
449
00:26:16,366 --> 00:26:20,578
but when I said those vows
out loud, I meant them.
450
00:26:20,662 --> 00:26:22,580
This guy is such a douche.
451
00:26:22,664 --> 00:26:25,374
Before, or should I say if
452
00:26:25,458 --> 00:26:27,876
I ever allow either of you
out of this marriage,
453
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,920
I'm going to make sure
that you try everything,
454
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:33,257
and I do mean everything,
first to make it work.
455
00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:35,301
- Objection, Your Honor. You can't do that.
- Objection!
456
00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:38,304
Watch me. Now, do either one
of you have a place to live?
457
00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:40,806
I don't at the moment,
Your Honor, but I will.
458
00:26:40,890 --> 00:26:42,683
You see, I...
459
00:26:42,767 --> 00:26:44,935
My ex-fiance and I
broke up, and...
460
00:26:45,020 --> 00:26:48,689
You know, Mrs. Fuller, you're not
helping make your case here, okay?
461
00:26:49,399 --> 00:26:52,359
What about you, pretty boy?
You got a crash pad?
462
00:26:52,861 --> 00:26:55,863
- Yes.
- Okay, great! We have a hearth!
463
00:26:55,947 --> 00:26:59,366
I am freezing the $3 million
for the next six months
464
00:26:59,492 --> 00:27:03,203
and sentencing you two to
six months hard marriage.
465
00:27:03,288 --> 00:27:04,913
And so I can keep an eye on you,
466
00:27:04,998 --> 00:27:08,250
I'm ordering you both into
weekly marital counseling.
467
00:27:08,335 --> 00:27:10,252
I want you two to listen to me.
468
00:27:10,337 --> 00:27:15,507
You better play by my rules on this, or
I'm gonna tie this money up in litigation
469
00:27:15,592 --> 00:27:18,302
that is so long, so
protracted, so expensive
470
00:27:18,386 --> 00:27:22,348
that neither one of you
will ever see a dime of it.
471
00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:25,934
All right. Anything... Oh, yeah!
One more thing.
472
00:27:26,061 --> 00:27:28,562
I now pronounce
you man and wife!
473
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:35,110
Can he do that?
474
00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:37,029
Yeah, he's the judge. He
can do whatever he wants.
475
00:27:37,113 --> 00:27:38,989
And he clearly wants to make
an example out of you both.
476
00:27:39,074 --> 00:27:40,949
If you just do
what the guy says,
477
00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:42,993
he's gonna be forced to
grant you a divorce.
478
00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:44,453
- In which case...
- You would probably...
479
00:27:44,537 --> 00:27:45,537
- ...split...
- ...the money...
480
00:27:45,622 --> 00:27:47,206
...equally as marital property.
481
00:27:47,290 --> 00:27:48,999
You didn't do anything in there!
482
00:27:49,084 --> 00:27:50,364
- What?
- You didn't do anything!
483
00:27:50,418 --> 00:27:53,379
I called her a vixen!
I called her a vixen!
484
00:27:54,923 --> 00:27:55,964
- So?
- So.
485
00:27:56,049 --> 00:27:57,370
I can do anything
for six months.
486
00:27:57,425 --> 00:28:00,719
I can not wear pants for six months.
So if you aren't up to it...
487
00:28:00,804 --> 00:28:02,471
Oh, I am so up to it.
488
00:28:02,555 --> 00:28:04,973
And if you're trying to insinuate
that I'm the one that can't do this,
489
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:07,559
then you are sorely
mistaken, short bus.
490
00:28:07,644 --> 00:28:09,520
Whoa! Okay! So it's
settled, then.
491
00:28:09,604 --> 00:28:11,897
All right. Think of it as
a business arrangement.
492
00:28:11,981 --> 00:28:14,942
Be married for six months,
get $1 .5 million.
493
00:28:15,860 --> 00:28:18,946
- How hard can it be?
- I know how hard it isn't.
494
00:28:20,907 --> 00:28:22,157
Excuse me. Out of my way.
495
00:28:22,492 --> 00:28:23,492
Thank you.
496
00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:28,414
- Oh, Jesus. Here.
- Great.
497
00:28:33,294 --> 00:28:34,294
Smile for the camera.
498
00:28:34,379 --> 00:28:36,880
Hi, hubby, it's me. Open up.
499
00:28:36,965 --> 00:28:38,215
Hiya!
500
00:28:38,633 --> 00:28:39,994
It's all the
way at the top.
501
00:28:40,427 --> 00:28:41,427
She's here.
502
00:28:42,637 --> 00:28:43,837
Okay, don't overdo it, though.
503
00:28:46,766 --> 00:28:50,853
Hey! Look what I
brought my new hubby!
504
00:28:50,937 --> 00:28:54,231
'Cause I want to please him,
and men, they like the beer.
505
00:28:54,315 --> 00:28:58,569
Hey, look who's being a good wifey,
really trying to make her marriage work.
506
00:28:58,653 --> 00:29:00,738
Oh, muffin pants, what
a wondefrul gift.
507
00:29:00,822 --> 00:29:04,408
I'm going to buy you a big box of
Tampax just so I can thank you,
508
00:29:04,492 --> 00:29:07,077
'cause that's what
good husbands do.
509
00:29:12,417 --> 00:29:14,126
Sorry, I can't control
myself when I'm around you,
510
00:29:14,210 --> 00:29:16,253
I just love you so much!
511
00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:17,504
Not as much as I love you!
512
00:29:20,508 --> 00:29:22,384
Shall we, Mrs. Fuller?
513
00:29:23,344 --> 00:29:25,095
Oh. Here. Let me get this.
514
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:26,680
- Let me get that. Oh!
- Wait a sec.
515
00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:29,975
Slippery. Slippery.
516
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:35,522
What?
517
00:29:39,444 --> 00:29:42,029
Sorry, baby, just you're a
little on the heavy side.
518
00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:44,156
Welcome home, sweetheart.
519
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,619
You literally have a bar in the
middle of your living room.
520
00:29:48,703 --> 00:29:49,953
It's not so bad.
521
00:29:50,038 --> 00:29:52,998
I mean, I would never
live here, ever, but...
522
00:29:53,082 --> 00:29:55,918
What? I ran the New York
City Marathon, okay?
523
00:29:56,002 --> 00:29:58,712
I can do this. I can
totally do this.
524
00:30:01,591 --> 00:30:02,925
Oh, my God.
525
00:30:03,718 --> 00:30:05,302
I can't do this!
526
00:30:05,386 --> 00:30:06,887
Don't throw any of
that hair away, okay?
527
00:30:06,971 --> 00:30:09,389
I'm saving it up to make
you something special,
528
00:30:09,474 --> 00:30:11,975
like a hat or a sweater.
529
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,102
I still haven't decided yet.
530
00:30:14,646 --> 00:30:16,396
Do you train monkeys in here?
531
00:30:16,773 --> 00:30:20,859
Seriously! It's one thing if you like a guy,
you put up with disgusting stuff like this,
532
00:30:20,944 --> 00:30:24,321
but you I don't care
for, so clean it up.
533
00:30:24,405 --> 00:30:27,908
I'm not here under court order,
so I'm going to take off.
534
00:30:27,992 --> 00:30:29,535
- Later, buddy.
- Bye.
535
00:30:30,453 --> 00:30:31,787
$1.5 million.
536
00:30:32,664 --> 00:30:36,083
Here. These are antibacterial.
Get to work.
537
00:30:44,425 --> 00:30:46,677
That looks like it's gonna
be comfortable for you.
538
00:30:46,761 --> 00:30:48,554
Where's the bedroom?
539
00:30:49,597 --> 00:30:53,559
- Uh... It's in there.
- Sweet dreams.
540
00:30:53,643 --> 00:30:54,768
Yeah.
541
00:30:57,397 --> 00:30:58,856
What is this?
542
00:31:02,610 --> 00:31:04,778
Ooh. That was close.
543
00:31:07,490 --> 00:31:09,867
- That stinks.
- Just a little bit of me.
544
00:31:09,951 --> 00:31:13,287
- Oh, God!
- And some other people. Whatever.
545
00:31:33,641 --> 00:31:36,602
- Do you need some help?
- Yeah, I do, as a matter of fact.
546
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:38,562
You should probably
call somebody.
547
00:31:38,938 --> 00:31:40,814
- What?
- To help you.
548
00:31:43,234 --> 00:31:45,277
Hey, could you do that thing
where you turn around on the bed
549
00:31:45,361 --> 00:31:46,737
and fix the top side again?
550
00:31:46,821 --> 00:31:48,405
Okay, can I sleep on the couch?
551
00:31:48,489 --> 00:31:49,531
No.
552
00:32:06,758 --> 00:32:08,300
Smoothies!
553
00:32:13,723 --> 00:32:15,307
- Hon?
- Yeah.
554
00:32:15,391 --> 00:32:16,975
If I could just get
in there for a sec.
555
00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:18,546
I'm almost done.
I'll be right out.
556
00:32:18,561 --> 00:32:20,312
No, no. "Be right out" is
not really gonna work.
557
00:32:20,396 --> 00:32:22,314
Like, be right out right now.
558
00:32:23,149 --> 00:32:24,441
I'm almost done!
559
00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:36,662
Okay...
560
00:32:39,374 --> 00:32:41,750
Oh, yeah, this is happening.
561
00:32:42,502 --> 00:32:44,586
You only have yourself to blame.
562
00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:47,214
By the way, it's
your day on dishes.
563
00:32:58,893 --> 00:32:59,893
Freak.
564
00:32:59,978 --> 00:33:01,269
Where do you get your underwear?
The hospital?
565
00:33:01,354 --> 00:33:04,064
- What?
- Seriously, what's up with the P.E. bra?
566
00:33:04,148 --> 00:33:07,943
Well, it's comfy and supportive,
like a man should be.
567
00:33:08,027 --> 00:33:12,155
You women. In the beginning it's all,
like, laces and rainbows and trapdoors.
568
00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:15,826
As soon as you get married, it's nothing
but these flesh tones and PMS pants.
569
00:33:15,910 --> 00:33:17,411
You might as well wear a
placard around your neck
570
00:33:17,495 --> 00:33:19,830
- that says, "We're not having sex, ever."
- Ever!
571
00:33:19,914 --> 00:33:21,039
- Ever.
- Ever!
572
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:23,834
What happened to the purple bra from Vegas?
That was nice.
573
00:33:23,918 --> 00:33:27,212
I'm going to save that for
my non-retarded husband.
574
00:33:28,923 --> 00:33:31,842
Well, the grownups have
to go to work today.
575
00:33:32,593 --> 00:33:35,595
- What are you going to do all day?
- I don't know yet.
576
00:33:35,680 --> 00:33:39,182
I'd rather do nothing and be happy
than do something I know I don't love.
577
00:33:39,267 --> 00:33:41,101
Words to live by, Yanni.
578
00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:43,186
Beat it, worker drone.
Tell the man I say hi.
579
00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:46,273
- Whatever, loser.
- Hey, don't get hit by a bus.
580
00:33:46,357 --> 00:33:47,649
Or do. Whatever.
581
00:33:48,776 --> 00:33:50,610
♪ I believe in miracles. ♪
582
00:33:51,571 --> 00:33:54,948
♪ Where you from You sexy thing ♪
583
00:33:56,784 --> 00:33:58,702
♪ I believe in miracles ♪
584
00:34:00,413 --> 00:34:04,374
♪ Since you came along ♪
♪ You sexy thing ♪
585
00:34:16,929 --> 00:34:18,513
- McNally.
- What are you wearing, baby?
586
00:34:18,598 --> 00:34:20,599
- Who is this?
- Your boss.
587
00:34:21,726 --> 00:34:23,226
Get the Chonger and get
up here right away.
588
00:34:23,311 --> 00:34:26,480
Coming right up! Okay. Banger
needs to see us upstairs.
589
00:34:26,564 --> 00:34:30,192
After 15 years of loyal service,
we're dumping Bob whatshisname,
590
00:34:30,276 --> 00:34:33,278
which means that this office
is gonna be up for grabs.
591
00:34:33,362 --> 00:34:35,643
So, I'm going to promote one
of you skirts out of the pit.
592
00:34:35,656 --> 00:34:38,575
And that's not sexual harassment.
Believe me, I've checked.
593
00:34:38,659 --> 00:34:41,036
You're my top guns, girls.
Do me proud.
594
00:34:41,120 --> 00:34:42,662
Thank you, sir.
595
00:34:43,873 --> 00:34:46,416
So! I guess I'll be Maverick
and you can be Goose.
596
00:34:46,501 --> 00:34:49,586
Be whoever you want to be, you'll
still gonna be my subordinate.
597
00:34:49,670 --> 00:34:52,422
- Excuse me?
- It's from the Latin, meaning "my bitch."
598
00:34:52,507 --> 00:34:54,466
- What is wrong with you?
- I eat girls like you.
599
00:34:54,550 --> 00:34:56,593
- Oh, you eat girls!
- Not like that.
600
00:34:56,677 --> 00:34:57,677
- Makes total sense.
- It shouldn't.
601
00:34:57,845 --> 00:34:59,085
- No judgments.
- But I'm not...
602
00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,180
Just saying.
603
00:35:07,772 --> 00:35:08,939
Ready to do this?
604
00:35:09,023 --> 00:35:12,859
Pretend like you don't make me vomit
in my nose every time I look at you?
605
00:35:13,694 --> 00:35:14,861
Yes.
606
00:35:16,030 --> 00:35:19,991
So, Jack, tell me about yourself.
What are your hobbies?
607
00:35:20,952 --> 00:35:22,327
Hobbies.
608
00:35:23,121 --> 00:35:25,372
You mean, besides my marriage?
609
00:35:27,041 --> 00:35:28,291
My hobbies.
610
00:35:28,376 --> 00:35:30,460
Mostly, I just like loving her.
611
00:35:30,545 --> 00:35:32,379
It's just so easy.
612
00:35:34,882 --> 00:35:36,216
What else?
613
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:42,389
Listening. I love listening to
what she has to say. It's just...
614
00:35:42,473 --> 00:35:45,809
In fact, actually, I carry
this notebook around with me,
615
00:35:45,893 --> 00:35:49,855
just so I can write it down,
because usually it's so important.
616
00:35:50,481 --> 00:35:54,693
What else? I think just being
there for her, in general.
617
00:35:56,195 --> 00:35:58,321
Loving her until it hurts.
618
00:35:59,198 --> 00:36:00,490
It hurts.
619
00:36:01,075 --> 00:36:04,870
That's... I don't know, that's
probably most of my interests.
620
00:36:07,582 --> 00:36:08,999
Joy?
621
00:36:09,083 --> 00:36:10,667
I'd have to agree.
622
00:36:10,751 --> 00:36:13,253
And I'd have to add, you know,
623
00:36:14,297 --> 00:36:15,714
staring at him.
624
00:36:15,798 --> 00:36:20,177
Yeah. I mean, I just
love watching him be.
625
00:36:20,261 --> 00:36:21,595
I love everything about him.
626
00:36:21,679 --> 00:36:24,055
Most people would be repulsed,
627
00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:27,225
you know, to find his socks
and his dirty underwear
628
00:36:27,310 --> 00:36:30,103
sort of down shoved in
the bottom of the bed,
629
00:36:30,188 --> 00:36:31,855
touching them in the
middle of the night.
630
00:36:31,939 --> 00:36:34,274
They might want to try to, like,
scrub and scrub and scrub
631
00:36:34,358 --> 00:36:38,320
and try to get the stains and
the scent off of them, but...
632
00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:43,283
Not me. I just... I love it!
633
00:36:43,367 --> 00:36:47,370
I just... I kind of want
to just roll around in it!
634
00:36:50,208 --> 00:36:52,250
Her candles smell awesome!
635
00:36:54,795 --> 00:36:57,172
You know, I do have
a few degrees,
636
00:36:57,256 --> 00:37:00,884
and I went to a bunch of
really expensive schools.
637
00:37:00,968 --> 00:37:04,721
Anyway, I'm not buying any of the
bullshit you two are selling today.
638
00:37:04,805 --> 00:37:07,390
Now, if you want me to
report back to the court
639
00:37:07,475 --> 00:37:09,267
that you're both working
on your marriage,
640
00:37:09,352 --> 00:37:12,020
you're gonna actually
have to do that.
641
00:37:15,483 --> 00:37:22,239
♪ And love Such a silly ♪
♪ game we play, oh! ♪
642
00:37:22,323 --> 00:37:26,952
♪ Like a summer's day in May ♪
♪ What is love, what is love? ♪
643
00:37:27,036 --> 00:37:31,581
♪ I just want it to be love ♪
♪ Oh! Oh! Oh! ♪
644
00:37:33,209 --> 00:37:39,339
♪ I, I, I, I, I I can ♪
♪ feel it in your kiss. ♪
645
00:37:40,007 --> 00:37:44,427
♪ It just gives me tender bliss ♪
♪ What is love, what is love? ♪
646
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:46,763
♪ I just want it to be love. ♪
647
00:37:46,847 --> 00:37:50,350
Yes, that is the topping
I wanted on my popcorn.
648
00:37:50,434 --> 00:37:52,227
I know that the box said
"movie theater butter,"
649
00:37:52,311 --> 00:37:54,104
but, you guessed it,
650
00:37:54,188 --> 00:37:57,816
what I really wanted was
Jack's Sweaty Ballsack flavor.
651
00:37:57,900 --> 00:37:59,109
Thanks.
652
00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,195
Uh! Uh! Uh! Love.
653
00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:08,159
Who can tell me I am lost?
What is love, what is love?
654
00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:11,037
I'm just giving you
what you wanted, baby.
655
00:38:13,332 --> 00:38:18,295
Pay attention. See how it
goes up and down. Okay?
656
00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:19,796
It goes up,
657
00:38:20,339 --> 00:38:23,008
and then it goes down.
Like that.
658
00:38:23,092 --> 00:38:25,302
See that? Isn't that magical?
Amazing.
659
00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:27,637
Watch one more time.
One more time.
660
00:38:27,722 --> 00:38:32,392
It goes up, right? And
then it goes down.
661
00:38:51,620 --> 00:38:54,456
No, no, no, no! Why?
662
00:38:56,292 --> 00:39:00,003
I really, really need
to get in there!
663
00:39:00,087 --> 00:39:03,048
Why don't you just use
your special bathroom?
664
00:39:03,257 --> 00:39:04,549
There's no heavy side!
665
00:39:04,633 --> 00:39:06,953
- You got the window!
- No, that's actually the light side.
666
00:39:20,107 --> 00:39:22,567
- Where's the bathroom door?
- We got robbed.
667
00:39:22,651 --> 00:39:24,944
And all they took was the door.
668
00:39:26,614 --> 00:39:27,864
$1.5 million.
669
00:39:30,618 --> 00:39:33,161
Marriage is hard!
670
00:39:33,245 --> 00:39:35,955
I don't know how people do this.
It's unnatural.
671
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:38,750
Men and women are not
meant to coexist.
672
00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:43,213
And I haven't had sex in forever.
I mean, forever!
673
00:39:43,297 --> 00:39:45,298
And I need to have sex,
'cause I'm good at it!
674
00:39:45,383 --> 00:39:47,550
That's a self-esteem
booster for me.
675
00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:50,595
- I don't know if I can do this, man.
- Oh, really?
676
00:39:50,679 --> 00:39:53,473
'Cause I haven't been
sensing that at all.
677
00:39:53,557 --> 00:39:54,974
That's why I did a
little research.
678
00:39:55,059 --> 00:39:56,684
I've been looking
through some case law,
679
00:39:56,769 --> 00:39:58,728
you know, some precedent to
help us get around the ruling.
680
00:39:58,813 --> 00:40:01,815
And I think I found one.
Lafferty Vs. Holden.
681
00:40:02,650 --> 00:40:05,527
You know, Tip, I don't
know if I can do this.
682
00:40:06,237 --> 00:40:07,445
Then we go to plan B.
683
00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:09,656
Mother's third marriage
was to this 20-year-old
684
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:12,575
club-footed Cuban bartender
who came into a ton of money.
685
00:40:12,952 --> 00:40:14,744
The court said that if they
both wanted the money,
686
00:40:14,829 --> 00:40:17,580
they had to remain married and prove
they can make it work. Sound familiar?
687
00:40:17,665 --> 00:40:19,666
Mother wasn't going to
see a cent of that,
688
00:40:19,750 --> 00:40:22,001
but then she proved that
he'd been unfaithful,
689
00:40:22,086 --> 00:40:24,129
and the judge ruled
in her favor.
690
00:40:24,213 --> 00:40:26,297
And gave her all the money.
691
00:40:27,258 --> 00:40:30,218
See, the judge said
that you had to prove
692
00:40:30,302 --> 00:40:32,011
that you were trying to
make the marriage work.
693
00:40:32,096 --> 00:40:34,514
But if we can make it
seem like she isn't...
694
00:40:34,598 --> 00:40:36,307
I don't know why I haven't
thought of this before!
695
00:40:36,392 --> 00:40:38,101
- Because you're not a very good lawyer.
- Oh, my God.
696
00:40:38,185 --> 00:40:41,062
There should be a law against
how bad a lawyer I am.
697
00:40:41,147 --> 00:40:42,147
But then again, I
wouldn't know about it!
698
00:40:42,231 --> 00:40:45,108
So if I can get Jack to end the
marriage by either leaving me
699
00:40:45,192 --> 00:40:47,569
or cheating on me...
700
00:40:47,653 --> 00:40:49,154
Not only would you get
out of the marriage...
701
00:40:49,238 --> 00:40:52,699
- You will also get the full $3 million.
- Oh, my God.
702
00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,869
- I love you! I want to kiss you.
- You want to kiss me?
703
00:40:55,953 --> 00:40:58,079
On your big, beautiful,
prematurely balding man dome.
704
00:40:58,164 --> 00:40:59,372
All right! All right. Okay.
705
00:40:59,790 --> 00:41:01,875
- Game on, sister!
- Game on!
706
00:41:02,084 --> 00:41:03,793
- Game on.
- Game on.
707
00:41:05,004 --> 00:41:07,422
Destroy it. Oh, my God.
Oh, Jesus!
708
00:41:25,983 --> 00:41:28,151
There are some refinery
problems in the South,
709
00:41:28,235 --> 00:41:30,987
- so let's keep our eye on crude oil.
- Oh, that's too bad.
710
00:41:31,071 --> 00:41:32,322
And I just heard a rumor
711
00:41:32,406 --> 00:41:35,492
that the platinum futures are
gonna be very active today.
712
00:41:35,576 --> 00:41:36,659
Yes!
713
00:41:37,745 --> 00:41:38,870
Yeah!
714
00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:43,041
I mean, really, let's do this mother!
Oh, my God.
715
00:41:43,125 --> 00:41:46,419
Right, guys? I mean, let's buy shit!
Let's buy shit!
716
00:41:47,671 --> 00:41:49,631
Do you see that? Do
you see that, people?
717
00:41:49,715 --> 00:41:53,009
That's exactly the kind of
spirit I'm talking about!
718
00:41:53,093 --> 00:41:54,844
- You go, girl!
- Yes!
719
00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:59,182
Oh, my God, seriously, you guys!
720
00:42:04,271 --> 00:42:06,898
Oh, my God! Oh, my God! What are we doing?
What are we doing?
721
00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:11,618
What's happening? What's happening?
Oh, my God.
722
00:42:17,034 --> 00:42:19,369
Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch!
723
00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:32,882
- Hi.
- Hi.
724
00:42:32,967 --> 00:42:35,009
We got locked out
of our apartment.
725
00:42:35,094 --> 00:42:38,429
Would you mind if we just waited
in here until the locksmith comes?
726
00:42:38,514 --> 00:42:41,140
He said it would
only be a few hours.
727
00:42:42,351 --> 00:42:43,643
A few...
728
00:42:44,395 --> 00:42:45,562
Sure.
729
00:42:45,646 --> 00:42:46,771
- Thank you!
- Great!
730
00:42:46,855 --> 00:42:49,816
Also, we were supposed to have
some friends over tonight.
731
00:42:49,900 --> 00:42:52,652
Do you mind if they
waited in here, too?
732
00:42:53,571 --> 00:42:56,072
I'll jump on that
grenade, too, I suppose.
733
00:42:56,156 --> 00:42:57,574
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
734
00:42:57,658 --> 00:43:00,660
- Thank you so much.
- No, thank you. Thank you.
735
00:43:01,495 --> 00:43:03,580
Welcome to my humble abode.
736
00:43:05,874 --> 00:43:08,167
Those are probably my friends.
737
00:43:10,921 --> 00:43:12,422
- Hi.
- Hi.
738
00:43:12,506 --> 00:43:14,173
We're the friends.
739
00:43:14,508 --> 00:43:16,968
- You look like the friends. You do.
- Hi.
740
00:43:18,679 --> 00:43:20,888
- Hey.
- There is a hot girl party going on
741
00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:23,224
- in my living room.
- What are you talking about?
742
00:43:23,309 --> 00:43:26,936
I'm talking about the fact that there
are a buttload of beautiful women...
743
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:30,356
Oh, my God. Okay, there's a
pillow fight about to break out.
744
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,275
Oh, my God. Dude, it's a trap.
745
00:43:33,902 --> 00:43:36,195
No, it's not! No! This happens!
746
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,864
No! It doesn't happen!
747
00:43:38,157 --> 00:43:40,575
Get out of the house! Get
out of the house right now!
748
00:43:40,659 --> 00:43:42,539
She must have figured out
the same thing we did.
749
00:43:42,703 --> 00:43:44,662
Okay, just because
Joy sets a trap
750
00:43:44,747 --> 00:43:46,080
doesn't mean we can't
play at the same game.
751
00:43:46,165 --> 00:43:48,291
You call Bear, you call
every guy we know.
752
00:43:48,375 --> 00:43:50,043
And get some boring
stockbroker kind of guys,
753
00:43:50,127 --> 00:43:51,544
the kind of guys you
and me would beat up.
754
00:43:51,629 --> 00:43:52,795
The more boring, the better.
755
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:55,006
She has no idea what she's
gotten herself into.
756
00:44:00,846 --> 00:44:02,096
You okay?
757
00:44:07,728 --> 00:44:10,480
In here, guys. Yo,
Jack, what up?
758
00:44:18,197 --> 00:44:20,823
This chick's the reason we're not
spending our money right now.
759
00:44:20,908 --> 00:44:24,285
This chick is the reason I'm not
having a six-way right now!
760
00:44:24,745 --> 00:44:26,329
- Hey.
- Hey.
761
00:44:26,413 --> 00:44:29,832
So, look. This isn't working. I think
we need to call in some sluts.
762
00:44:29,917 --> 00:44:32,335
- Sluts? I know sluts.
- Make the call.
763
00:44:32,419 --> 00:44:35,755
Which one of these ugly
losers is ruining your life?
764
00:44:36,882 --> 00:44:39,384
That one. The pink
parade over there.
765
00:44:39,718 --> 00:44:41,552
That's your wife?
766
00:44:42,262 --> 00:44:45,598
Oh, my God, she is so f-ing hot!
767
00:44:47,726 --> 00:44:49,602
What is wrong with you?
768
00:44:51,939 --> 00:44:54,273
Pick a team. Pick a team. Pick a team!
Right now! Pick a team.
769
00:44:54,358 --> 00:44:55,858
- Come on.
- Hers. Hers! Hers!
770
00:44:55,943 --> 00:45:00,446
Listen up, girls. Do whatever you
need to do to get into his pants.
771
00:45:00,531 --> 00:45:02,490
Ignore her. Don't even
make eye contact with her.
772
00:45:02,574 --> 00:45:05,326
Look at every girl in here except for her.
It'll drive her crazy.
773
00:45:05,411 --> 00:45:07,036
Get him drunk. It'll
slip right out.
774
00:45:07,121 --> 00:45:08,162
Go!
775
00:45:16,004 --> 00:45:17,046
Hi.
776
00:45:23,512 --> 00:45:24,971
Oh, I get it.
777
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,099
I get what you guys are doing.
Okay.
778
00:45:28,726 --> 00:45:31,561
Well, I'm going to... Thank you.
Sorry. Excuse me.
779
00:45:31,645 --> 00:45:33,062
Oh, God!
780
00:45:33,981 --> 00:45:39,110
If you need anybody to talk to,
you know, just let me know.
781
00:45:43,073 --> 00:45:45,408
- Thanks.
- Get out of here. Get out of here.
782
00:45:45,492 --> 00:45:47,869
Get out of here! Get out
of here, both of you!
783
00:45:47,953 --> 00:45:48,953
I'll give her the money!
784
00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:50,455
- I'll give her the money!
- No, no, no, no, no.
785
00:45:51,665 --> 00:45:52,707
Oh, shit.
786
00:45:52,791 --> 00:45:54,292
I'm here about a
noise complaint!
787
00:45:56,211 --> 00:46:00,131
Someone called to complain that
you're not making enough noise!
788
00:46:05,512 --> 00:46:09,390
- This is the best party ever!
- This is the greatest party ever!
789
00:46:16,106 --> 00:46:19,192
I'm arrested! You
guys, I'm arrested!
790
00:46:22,696 --> 00:46:23,738
Hey.
791
00:46:23,822 --> 00:46:26,824
Sorry. I was just trying
to find some quiet
792
00:46:26,909 --> 00:46:30,495
- from the craziness out there.
- Yeah. Yeah, I'm... Beer?
793
00:46:32,873 --> 00:46:33,956
Sure.
794
00:46:37,711 --> 00:46:40,129
Do you really think that I'm
dumb enough to cheat on you?
795
00:46:40,214 --> 00:46:41,631
I think it's only
a matter of time,
796
00:46:41,715 --> 00:46:43,841
and, yeah, I think you're
more than dumb enough.
797
00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,843
Thank you for the
vote of confidence.
798
00:46:45,928 --> 00:46:47,386
I appreciate that.
799
00:46:47,471 --> 00:46:50,389
This must be so hard for you.
800
00:46:52,810 --> 00:46:55,061
- What?
- Being in a relationship.
801
00:46:56,980 --> 00:47:00,233
Okay. I've been in relationships
before, all right?
802
00:47:00,526 --> 00:47:02,151
Oh, come on, Jack.
803
00:47:02,236 --> 00:47:04,904
I know you. Don't forget, I
have been living with you.
804
00:47:04,988 --> 00:47:09,367
You're not exactly serious
boyfriend/husband material, okay?
805
00:47:11,453 --> 00:47:14,163
- Well, this must be hard for you, too.
- Really?
806
00:47:14,248 --> 00:47:18,501
Yeah, being married to me when you're
so clearly in love with your ex.
807
00:47:22,506 --> 00:47:23,965
- I'm not in love with him.
- Right.
808
00:47:24,049 --> 00:47:25,508
Then why are you still wearing
the ring on your finger?
809
00:47:25,592 --> 00:47:27,844
Because my current
husband bought me one
810
00:47:27,928 --> 00:47:30,054
out of a vending
machine in Vegas.
811
00:47:30,138 --> 00:47:33,057
All I know is, if I
get dumped on my ass,
812
00:47:33,141 --> 00:47:35,461
I'm not wearing the ring unless
I'm still in love with him.
813
00:47:35,477 --> 00:47:37,520
- I'm not in love with him, okay?
- Okay! Right.
814
00:47:37,604 --> 00:47:39,522
In fact, I'm happy I'm
not with him anymore.
815
00:47:39,606 --> 00:47:41,148
I spent the last four
years of my life
816
00:47:41,233 --> 00:47:43,693
trying to be somebody
else's idea of perfect,
817
00:47:43,777 --> 00:47:47,446
and you know what? I still don't
feel good enough for him.
818
00:47:53,120 --> 00:47:56,622
Okay, that's not what I meant, okay?
I just...
819
00:47:56,707 --> 00:48:00,001
Hey! Don't worry! Your
secret's safe with me.
820
00:48:00,085 --> 00:48:01,878
Oh, you're such an ass.
821
00:48:01,962 --> 00:48:03,421
You know what? It's
irrelevant now,
822
00:48:03,505 --> 00:48:06,465
because I don't care if
I ever see him again.
823
00:48:12,180 --> 00:48:14,140
Wow. Thank you, baby.
824
00:48:14,224 --> 00:48:17,643
- That makes me feel so, so, so special.
- You know what? It has nothing
825
00:48:17,728 --> 00:48:19,812
- to do with you, Jack.
- By the way, don't worry about me,
826
00:48:19,897 --> 00:48:21,218
- because I'm a married man.
- Yeah.
827
00:48:21,231 --> 00:48:23,733
We don't need to have sex. And
I'll tell you another thing.
828
00:48:23,817 --> 00:48:27,111
I'm not going anywhere, 'cause I
am not screwing this thing up.
829
00:48:27,195 --> 00:48:30,531
Neither am I, 'cause I am in
it for the long haul, Jack.
830
00:48:30,616 --> 00:48:33,993
- Till death do us part.
- Not unless I kill you first.
831
00:48:44,838 --> 00:48:47,465
- It's like she's always there!
- He doesn't do anything all day, okay?
832
00:48:47,549 --> 00:48:49,634
- Left, right, up, down!
- It's like he's not even a grownup, okay?
833
00:48:49,718 --> 00:48:51,344
- I don't have an ounce of space...
- He does nothing...
834
00:48:51,428 --> 00:48:53,054
- ...for just me! Just me!
- ...all day long!
835
00:48:53,138 --> 00:48:55,681
- And I swear to God...
- I think he's trying to drive me crazy!
836
00:48:55,766 --> 00:48:57,600
- The other night, we had this party...
- He peed in the sink!
837
00:48:57,684 --> 00:49:00,284
- ...and everywhere I look...
- I mean, what kind of man animal...
838
00:49:00,354 --> 00:49:02,229
- ...it's just hot tit and ass everywhere!
- ...pees in the sink?
839
00:49:02,314 --> 00:49:04,607
- It's like he doesn't even want...
- It's like she doesn't even want...
840
00:49:04,691 --> 00:49:06,932
- ...this marriage to work!
- ...this marriage to work!
841
00:49:08,028 --> 00:49:11,030
All right. You're arguing.
842
00:49:11,114 --> 00:49:14,367
Now that felt like a
real married couple.
843
00:49:14,451 --> 00:49:16,369
You're making progress.
844
00:49:21,249 --> 00:49:23,084
What am I doing here?
845
00:49:33,261 --> 00:49:35,972
Oh, we could kidnap her
until after the hearing.
846
00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:38,724
- She could stay at my place.
- Oh, my God, I got it!
847
00:49:38,809 --> 00:49:41,394
We make it look like she gave
you some kind of disease!
848
00:49:41,478 --> 00:49:43,854
I can have a vial of crabs
here in 30 minutes.
849
00:49:43,939 --> 00:49:45,106
First, we give them to you,
850
00:49:45,190 --> 00:49:47,233
and then, you know, we get
somebody to give them to her
851
00:49:47,317 --> 00:49:49,986
so it looks like she
gave them to you.
852
00:49:51,530 --> 00:49:53,570
You really hadn't thought
that one through, had you?
853
00:49:53,615 --> 00:49:55,658
I'll give her the crabs, easily.
854
00:49:55,742 --> 00:49:58,452
- No more ideas from you.
- Oh, I've got it! It's perfect!
855
00:49:58,537 --> 00:50:00,037
This is great!
856
00:50:01,248 --> 00:50:02,248
Like that!
857
00:50:02,332 --> 00:50:03,582
- What are you doing?
- What?
858
00:50:03,667 --> 00:50:06,293
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Relax, relax, relax. Relax!
859
00:50:06,378 --> 00:50:08,462
Stay with me on this one.
860
00:50:09,131 --> 00:50:10,131
Huh?
861
00:50:10,924 --> 00:50:14,635
God damn it! No, you don't get it!
Dude, you don't get it!
862
00:50:31,862 --> 00:50:34,280
Jack, what happened
to your face?
863
00:50:34,990 --> 00:50:37,158
- I fell.
- You fell?
864
00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:39,285
Yeah.
865
00:50:41,038 --> 00:50:43,122
I hit my head on a doorknob.
866
00:50:43,790 --> 00:50:45,291
A few times.
867
00:50:45,375 --> 00:50:47,418
I fall a lot these days.
I'm just...
868
00:50:47,502 --> 00:50:49,086
I'm so clumsy.
869
00:50:49,171 --> 00:50:52,214
Jack, are you sure that's
what happened to you?
870
00:50:52,299 --> 00:50:55,051
Sure someone else
didn't do this to you?
871
00:50:57,637 --> 00:50:59,138
I deserve it.
872
00:50:59,973 --> 00:51:01,474
I'm supposed...
873
00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:05,728
I'm supposed to line up the hand
towels just so, and I didn't...
874
00:51:05,812 --> 00:51:08,647
I didn't do it. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
875
00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:10,941
Then she said,
"You put that toilet seat down,"
876
00:51:11,026 --> 00:51:12,610
"or I will put you down!"
877
00:51:12,694 --> 00:51:17,448
And I forgot, and she said,
"I'll show you how to put it down!"
878
00:51:17,532 --> 00:51:20,659
"I'll stick your head in there and
I will make it stay!" Oh, God!
879
00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:22,078
- ...look real, but don't, like...
- All right.
880
00:51:22,162 --> 00:51:24,080
- Oh, God!
- What?
881
00:51:24,664 --> 00:51:27,083
He's gotta make it look real so it
seems like she was beating you!
882
00:51:27,167 --> 00:51:28,667
Not that real!
883
00:51:30,295 --> 00:51:32,463
- Yeah!
- That sucker's gonna show, dude!
884
00:51:32,547 --> 00:51:33,923
Hey, come on. Come on.
885
00:51:34,007 --> 00:51:35,674
Can we get back to therapy now?
886
00:51:38,845 --> 00:51:39,929
Yes.
887
00:51:40,847 --> 00:51:42,223
Yes, we can.
888
00:51:53,527 --> 00:51:55,111
Hi, you've reached the happy couple.
889
00:51:55,195 --> 00:51:56,403
We can't come to the phone right now
890
00:51:56,488 --> 00:51:58,447
because we're busy
loving each other.
891
00:51:58,532 --> 00:52:00,116
And making our marriage work.
892
00:52:00,200 --> 00:52:01,920
- Leave a message!
- Leave a message!
893
00:52:01,993 --> 00:52:03,244
Hi. This is Annette calling
894
00:52:03,328 --> 00:52:05,329
from Dr. Twitchell's office.
895
00:52:05,413 --> 00:52:06,789
Hello.
896
00:52:06,873 --> 00:52:08,874
- Yes, Mrs. Fuller?
- Yes.
897
00:52:09,167 --> 00:52:11,085
The doctor needed to
cancel today's session,
898
00:52:11,169 --> 00:52:13,129
and she was wondering
if you could do Friday?
899
00:52:13,213 --> 00:52:15,631
Do you have anything after
3:00 p.m., possibly?
900
00:52:15,715 --> 00:52:19,135
- The doctor can do 4:00.
- Oh, perfect.
901
00:52:19,219 --> 00:52:20,886
- That works for me.
- We'll see you then.
902
00:52:20,971 --> 00:52:23,597
- Great, see you then.
- Thanks so much.
903
00:52:24,224 --> 00:52:27,226
- She totally bought it.
- Beautiful. Beautiful.
904
00:52:28,103 --> 00:52:30,062
- Beautiful.
- You owe me.
905
00:52:32,274 --> 00:52:36,277
♪ Come on with your ♪
♪ come on You don't fight fair. ♪
906
00:52:36,361 --> 00:52:39,446
♪ That's okay, see if I care. ♪
907
00:52:39,531 --> 00:52:42,658
♪ Blah, blah, blah, blah... ♪
908
00:52:42,742 --> 00:52:45,202
♪ Hit me with your best shot. ♪
909
00:52:45,287 --> 00:52:47,329
♪ Fire away ♪
910
00:52:52,252 --> 00:52:53,836
Hello?
911
00:52:53,920 --> 00:52:55,045
Jack?
912
00:52:58,758 --> 00:52:59,884
Taxi!
913
00:53:01,052 --> 00:53:03,721
Come on, man! Hey!
914
00:53:06,766 --> 00:53:09,018
- Hey, hey, hey!
- Wait a minute.
915
00:53:09,603 --> 00:53:10,769
Oh, come on!
916
00:53:13,607 --> 00:53:15,858
Twitchell... Twitchell...
917
00:53:18,278 --> 00:53:19,695
Dr. Twitchell speaking.
918
00:53:19,779 --> 00:53:22,364
- Yes, hi, this is Joy Fuller.
- Mrs. Fuller.
919
00:53:22,449 --> 00:53:25,075
Yes. I got a phone
call from Annette
920
00:53:25,160 --> 00:53:27,203
saying that our session
was canceled today.
921
00:53:27,287 --> 00:53:30,706
- I just wanted to double-check that.
- Your session is definitely still on.
922
00:53:30,790 --> 00:53:33,751
And any absence is considered
contempt of court.
923
00:53:33,835 --> 00:53:34,835
It is?
924
00:53:36,630 --> 00:53:39,465
Asshole! Trying to get
me to miss therapy!
925
00:53:40,258 --> 00:53:42,801
75th and Riverside,
and step on it!
926
00:53:45,305 --> 00:53:46,430
Okay.
927
00:53:49,809 --> 00:53:51,602
- What?
- Hey!
928
00:53:51,686 --> 00:53:54,146
Good luck paying for that
cab without your wallet.
929
00:53:55,899 --> 00:53:57,733
Only five dollars?
930
00:53:57,817 --> 00:53:59,401
You stole my wallet?
931
00:54:01,154 --> 00:54:03,614
Lost your wallet, huh? Get out.
932
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:06,909
Come on. What do you want? We
can work something out here.
933
00:54:06,993 --> 00:54:08,744
- Show me your breasts.
- What?
934
00:54:08,828 --> 00:54:11,622
You'd be surprised how
often it happens.
935
00:54:13,083 --> 00:54:16,335
- Okay, one breast. That's all you get.
- All right.
936
00:54:20,340 --> 00:54:22,860
- Nothing like a nice boob.
- What is your problem?
937
00:54:22,926 --> 00:54:25,135
What?
I like breasts. Sue me.
938
00:54:25,595 --> 00:54:26,804
Is there any way around this?
939
00:54:26,888 --> 00:54:29,848
Does it look like there
is a way around this?
940
00:54:33,270 --> 00:54:34,353
♪ Go! ♪
941
00:54:35,397 --> 00:54:37,439
♪ So 1, 2, 3, take my ♪
♪ hand and come with me. ♪
942
00:54:37,524 --> 00:54:40,276
♪ Because you look so fine And I ♪
♪ really wanna make you mine. ♪
943
00:54:40,694 --> 00:54:42,611
- How many for 10 of these?
- Ten for $2.
944
00:54:42,696 --> 00:54:44,863
- Okay. Here, take five.
- Okay.
945
00:54:44,948 --> 00:54:47,868
♪ Now you don't need that money when ♪
♪ you look like that, do ya honey ♪
946
00:54:51,871 --> 00:54:55,624
♪ I know we ain't got much to say. ♪
947
00:54:56,334 --> 00:55:00,296
♪ Before I let you get away, yeah! ♪
948
00:55:02,757 --> 00:55:06,885
There's Brooklyn.
Very exciting. Everyone, back on the bus!
949
00:55:06,970 --> 00:55:08,053
What a day, huh?
950
00:55:16,062 --> 00:55:17,938
Is this seat taken?
951
00:55:19,065 --> 00:55:21,734
Pardon. Excuse me. Sorry.
952
00:55:21,818 --> 00:55:24,194
- You are so immature!
- Please, woman!
953
00:55:24,904 --> 00:55:26,155
Go away!
954
00:55:26,239 --> 00:55:28,699
- That really hurt!
- Oh, no! You're hurting me!
955
00:55:29,159 --> 00:55:31,493
And here we are, Central Park.
956
00:55:31,578 --> 00:55:33,037
Yes, isn't it beautiful?
957
00:55:33,121 --> 00:55:37,458
Half an hour, people. That's 30 minutes
for those on the metric system.
958
00:55:40,754 --> 00:55:42,755
I'll take that! You mind?
959
00:55:45,508 --> 00:55:46,548
- What?
- Thank you!
960
00:55:46,593 --> 00:55:47,760
Hey!
961
00:55:49,346 --> 00:55:52,806
♪ Well I could see ♪
♪ You home with me. ♪
962
00:55:53,725 --> 00:55:57,519
♪ But you were with ♪
♪ another man, yeah! ♪
963
00:55:58,313 --> 00:56:01,315
♪ I know we Ain't got much to say. ♪
964
00:56:01,399 --> 00:56:02,566
Idiot!
965
00:56:02,942 --> 00:56:06,612
♪ Before I let you get away, yeah! ♪
966
00:56:11,409 --> 00:56:13,952
♪ I said are you gonna be my girl? ♪
967
00:56:36,810 --> 00:56:39,311
No, you're wrong.
You can't remember anything.
968
00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:41,355
You're remembering
your first date with somebody else!
969
00:56:41,439 --> 00:56:42,648
No!
It was not our first date!
970
00:56:42,732 --> 00:56:45,901
You keep thinking that. You always did.
You are demented!
971
00:56:46,152 --> 00:56:47,403
- It was not!
- It was!
972
00:56:47,487 --> 00:56:48,568
Your memory...
973
00:56:48,571 --> 00:56:49,947
Mine?
You can't remember the date!
974
00:56:50,031 --> 00:56:51,657
Yes, it's your...
975
00:56:52,033 --> 00:56:53,992
Hi, honey! Welcome home!
976
00:56:54,327 --> 00:56:55,702
Mom! Dad!
977
00:56:57,705 --> 00:56:59,081
What are you doing here?
978
00:56:59,165 --> 00:57:00,874
Well, I got a message
from your parents,
979
00:57:00,959 --> 00:57:04,878
and I thought I'd surprise you
and invite them over for dinner.
980
00:57:07,465 --> 00:57:09,425
You know that I've never
been invited over here?
981
00:57:09,509 --> 00:57:11,510
No! Really?
982
00:57:11,845 --> 00:57:13,262
Why didn't you
tell us you got married?
983
00:57:13,346 --> 00:57:15,305
I know you're still mad
at me about the firing,
984
00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:17,683
but you get married and
you don't tell us?
985
00:57:17,767 --> 00:57:19,935
That is very, very hurtful.
986
00:57:20,270 --> 00:57:21,391
- Especially...
- Dad, I...
987
00:57:21,438 --> 00:57:24,606
Especially when it's a
catch like Joy here.
988
00:57:25,066 --> 00:57:26,275
- What?
- Well...
989
00:57:26,359 --> 00:57:28,694
We're so proud of you, Jack!
990
00:57:29,696 --> 00:57:31,405
We didn't think you'd
ever settle down.
991
00:57:31,489 --> 00:57:35,576
But then we met this wondefrul girl.
You couldn't have done better!
992
00:57:36,035 --> 00:57:37,453
We are very proud of you, Son.
993
00:57:37,537 --> 00:57:40,038
- Okay. Love biscuit?
- Yes, tinkle monkey?
994
00:57:40,123 --> 00:57:42,499
Can I speak to you
for one second?
995
00:57:42,584 --> 00:57:43,876
Of course!
996
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:45,801
He probably just wants
to give me a big smooch.
997
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:47,279
We haven't seen
each other all day!
998
00:57:48,423 --> 00:57:52,050
My God! How weird is it
going to be in court
999
00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:55,137
when your parents are
character witnesses for me?
1000
00:57:55,221 --> 00:57:57,389
Well, obviously, you haven't
told them everything.
1001
00:57:57,474 --> 00:57:59,641
No, I was waiting
for you to do that.
1002
00:57:59,726 --> 00:58:01,393
What if we didn't?
1003
00:58:03,021 --> 00:58:07,858
What would it take for you to just keep
this our little secret for a little bit?
1004
00:58:09,277 --> 00:58:11,361
I want the bathroom door back.
1005
00:58:11,446 --> 00:58:14,781
And I want the toilet
seat left the F down.
1006
00:58:14,991 --> 00:58:16,033
No.
1007
00:58:16,284 --> 00:58:18,118
- One time up...
- I got it.
1008
00:58:18,203 --> 00:58:19,453
...and I make the call.
1009
00:58:19,537 --> 00:58:20,704
- Done.
- Okay.
1010
00:58:20,788 --> 00:58:24,166
Well, Jack, Sr., you
know, it is just so nice
1011
00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:27,920
to finally meet the man who has
taught Jack everything he knows.
1012
00:58:28,004 --> 00:58:30,047
- I tried.
- Well, something must've stuck.
1013
00:58:30,131 --> 00:58:31,932
Do you know he made this
bar we're sitting at?
1014
00:58:31,966 --> 00:58:34,384
Isn't it beautiful?
I mean, look.
1015
00:58:34,594 --> 00:58:36,803
Dovetail's off on the corner.
1016
00:58:37,931 --> 00:58:39,223
It's off!
1017
00:58:40,266 --> 00:58:42,267
Well, I think it's great.
1018
00:58:42,936 --> 00:58:45,521
I actually think that Jack
could sell his furniture.
1019
00:58:45,605 --> 00:58:48,023
I don't know. That would
require actually finishing it.
1020
00:58:48,107 --> 00:58:50,484
Maybe you should try telling Jack
you don't want him to finish it,
1021
00:58:50,568 --> 00:58:53,028
then maybe he would
actually do it.
1022
00:58:55,949 --> 00:58:57,491
What are you doing on Saturday?
1023
00:58:57,575 --> 00:59:00,077
You've got to come to Uncle Pat's
birthday in the park with us.
1024
00:59:00,161 --> 00:59:01,787
I would love to.
1025
00:59:02,789 --> 00:59:04,540
She went after my family!
1026
00:59:04,624 --> 00:59:06,708
Dude, you're letting this
chick get in your head.
1027
00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:08,252
Yeah, I know.
1028
00:59:09,504 --> 00:59:12,130
Now I'm going to figure
out how to get into hers.
1029
00:59:12,215 --> 00:59:14,091
You should never let a
chick get in your head.
1030
00:59:14,175 --> 00:59:17,302
That's why I prefer not
to even talk to my dates.
1031
00:59:22,642 --> 00:59:23,725
Yes!
1032
00:59:24,978 --> 00:59:27,980
Why didn't I think of this before?
If she's going to play dirty, so am I.
1033
00:59:32,402 --> 00:59:34,736
- Hi.
- Hey. Jameson, on the rocks.
1034
00:59:40,994 --> 00:59:43,078
- You're Mason, right?
- Yeah.
1035
00:59:43,329 --> 00:59:45,998
I'm Jack Fuller.
I'm a friend of Joy's.
1036
00:59:46,332 --> 00:59:47,332
- Joy's?
- Yeah.
1037
00:59:47,417 --> 00:59:49,960
I just wanted to
give you this back.
1038
00:59:50,878 --> 00:59:52,379
She threw it in the trash.
1039
00:59:52,463 --> 00:59:55,144
But, you know, guy code, I couldn't
just let it end up in the trash.
1040
00:59:55,174 --> 00:59:57,259
I mean, you spent, what, like,
five, six thousand on this thing.
1041
00:59:57,343 --> 00:59:59,261
Actually, thirty grand.
1042
01:00:00,930 --> 01:00:02,180
I got it.
1043
01:00:03,683 --> 01:00:05,642
All right. Well, thanks.
1044
01:00:07,145 --> 01:00:08,228
Okay.
1045
01:00:12,567 --> 01:00:14,359
Hey, how's she doing?
1046
01:00:17,739 --> 01:00:19,031
You know, she's good.
1047
01:00:19,115 --> 01:00:21,035
She's probably put on some
weight, though, right?
1048
01:00:21,117 --> 01:00:22,993
From all the emotional
eating due to the break-up?
1049
01:00:23,077 --> 01:00:25,245
You really lived up to the billing.
You know that?
1050
01:00:25,330 --> 01:00:27,706
Joy told me what an
impressive guy you are.
1051
01:00:27,790 --> 01:00:28,874
Oh! Yeah.
1052
01:00:28,958 --> 01:00:32,169
She said she was trying
to be so perfect, because
1053
01:00:32,879 --> 01:00:37,299
deep down, she never really felt like
she was good enough to be with you.
1054
01:00:37,884 --> 01:00:40,594
But those insecurities
are long gone now.
1055
01:00:40,720 --> 01:00:43,680
She's really come into her own.
She's on fire!
1056
01:00:43,765 --> 01:00:46,526
I'll tell you what, she not gonna be
on the open market for very long.
1057
01:00:46,601 --> 01:00:49,161
- It's a feeding frenzy out there!
- A feeding frenzy, huh? Yeah.
1058
01:00:49,228 --> 01:00:51,188
Well, I gotta get going.
1059
01:00:51,856 --> 01:00:55,067
My Uncle Pat is having a birthday
party tomorrow in Grove Park.
1060
01:00:55,151 --> 01:00:56,276
Joy and I are going.
1061
01:00:56,361 --> 01:00:59,821
Anyway, I gotta go pick up the present
she got for him. Bag of weed!
1062
01:00:59,906 --> 01:01:01,365
- Her idea!
- Really?
1063
01:01:01,449 --> 01:01:03,158
- She's on fire!
- Wow.
1064
01:01:03,242 --> 01:01:04,493
On fire.
1065
01:01:06,329 --> 01:01:08,080
Well, thanks again.
1066
01:01:13,836 --> 01:01:15,545
Stripper! Hiya!
1067
01:01:15,630 --> 01:01:18,590
- I so want to junkpunch that guy.
- What's with you and junkpunching?
1068
01:01:18,841 --> 01:01:20,717
- Joy?
- Hi!
1069
01:01:20,802 --> 01:01:23,011
I'm so glad you could make it.
Hey, sweetie.
1070
01:01:23,096 --> 01:01:26,723
- Hi! This is my girlfriend, Tipper.
- Hi, Tipper. Judy.
1071
01:01:27,433 --> 01:01:28,873
- Thanks for calling.
- Where's Jack?
1072
01:01:28,893 --> 01:01:31,770
He's over there, coaching
the Little League.
1073
01:01:32,355 --> 01:01:35,273
♪ Do you know what it's like ♪
♪ to fall on the floor? ♪
1074
01:01:35,608 --> 01:01:38,026
♪ And cry your guts out ♪
♪ till you got no more. ♪
1075
01:01:38,111 --> 01:01:40,195
Come on, sweetheart. I want
my new daughter-in-law
1076
01:01:40,279 --> 01:01:42,823
- to meet the whole family.
- Smile!
1077
01:01:42,949 --> 01:01:44,199
One, two, three,
1078
01:01:44,283 --> 01:01:45,325
- Rockets!
- Rockets!
1079
01:01:45,410 --> 01:01:47,452
Who wants sugar? Let's go!
1080
01:01:47,787 --> 01:01:50,455
What is this, like a
five-foot hoagie?
1081
01:01:51,374 --> 01:01:52,374
- Hi!
- Hi.
1082
01:01:52,458 --> 01:01:56,878
This is my niece, and BFF,
the great Sammy Sosa.
1083
01:01:56,963 --> 01:02:01,466
Sammy, this is your Aunt Joy.
1084
01:02:01,551 --> 01:02:03,552
- Nice to meet you, Sammy.
- Hi, Joy.
1085
01:02:03,636 --> 01:02:05,303
I didn't know you
coached Little League.
1086
01:02:05,388 --> 01:02:08,390
Oh, there's a lot of things you don't
know about me. Isn't that right?
1087
01:02:08,474 --> 01:02:13,061
Jack wore a little fedora and
a leather jacket to school
1088
01:02:13,146 --> 01:02:14,646
every day for six months.
1089
01:02:14,731 --> 01:02:17,315
Who wouldn't want to
be Indiana Jones?
1090
01:02:17,775 --> 01:02:18,942
I agree completely. I mean,
1091
01:02:19,026 --> 01:02:23,029
Raiders of the Lost Ark may be
the greatest movie ever made.
1092
01:02:27,160 --> 01:02:31,455
- I don't think I like what's going on here.
- What, are we bonding now?
1093
01:02:34,083 --> 01:02:37,419
♪ Hey man now you're really living ♪
1094
01:02:39,338 --> 01:02:40,672
Yeah.
1095
01:02:40,965 --> 01:02:43,049
She doesn't seem so
bad, Uncle Jack.
1096
01:02:43,509 --> 01:02:46,595
I think you guys should just split
the money and stay married.
1097
01:02:46,846 --> 01:02:49,139
Make a hundred pretty babies.
1098
01:02:50,975 --> 01:02:52,392
You told her?
1099
01:02:52,560 --> 01:02:56,104
Yeah, I don't have secrets from Sammy.
I tell her everything.
1100
01:02:56,189 --> 01:02:59,149
♪ Hey man now you're ♪
♪ really living. ♪
1101
01:02:59,484 --> 01:03:05,238
♪ Well I just saw the sun rise over the hill ♪
♪ Never used to give me much of a thrill. ♪
1102
01:03:05,531 --> 01:03:09,367
♪ But hey man now ♪
♪ you're really living. ♪
1103
01:03:09,452 --> 01:03:13,288
Well, ladies, I believe this is
where we go our separate ways.
1104
01:03:13,539 --> 01:03:15,040
Thank you.
1105
01:03:18,044 --> 01:03:21,046
♪ People sing. ♪
1106
01:03:21,130 --> 01:03:24,049
♪ Do you know what it's like ♪
♪ to fall on the floor? ♪
1107
01:03:24,133 --> 01:03:26,802
♪ And cry your guts out ♪
♪ till you got no more. ♪
1108
01:03:26,886 --> 01:03:30,388
♪ Hey man now you're ♪
♪ really living. ♪
1109
01:03:30,473 --> 01:03:31,681
Joy!
1110
01:03:32,058 --> 01:03:33,308
Mason.
1111
01:03:33,684 --> 01:03:36,478
- What are you doing here?
- I was just visiting some friends.
1112
01:03:36,562 --> 01:03:39,189
- In Brooklyn?
- Well, yeah. Yeah.
1113
01:03:39,273 --> 01:03:41,733
Brooklyn. The B.K.
Love it here.
1114
01:03:41,818 --> 01:03:43,401
Yeah, they're artists.
Yeah.
1115
01:03:43,486 --> 01:03:46,238
Hey, you want to go grab a glass of vino?
Maybe chat up for a bit?
1116
01:03:46,364 --> 01:03:50,325
I can't right now. Sorry.
1117
01:03:50,409 --> 01:03:54,454
- Okay, all right. Well, maybe next week.
- I have my retreat.
1118
01:03:55,748 --> 01:03:56,748
Wow!
1119
01:03:58,251 --> 01:04:00,418
You seem fine.
1120
01:04:01,796 --> 01:04:05,423
No, I mean, you look great. Doesn't
she look great? You look great.
1121
01:04:05,758 --> 01:04:07,259
- Thanks.
- Yeah.
1122
01:04:07,718 --> 01:04:09,219
I... Yeah.
1123
01:04:10,721 --> 01:04:12,889
- I gotta go.
- Yeah, me, too. Me, too.
1124
01:04:13,057 --> 01:04:15,809
- All right, well, maybe some other time.
- Yeah.
1125
01:04:15,893 --> 01:04:18,094
Good seeing you. Good bumping
into you like that. Weird.
1126
01:04:18,771 --> 01:04:20,105
Take care.
1127
01:04:25,778 --> 01:04:27,946
- Oh, my God. You're falling for her.
- What?
1128
01:04:28,114 --> 01:04:31,116
- You're falling for your wife! You idiot!
- What are you talking about?
1129
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:33,827
- She's a wily temptress.
- "A wily temptress."
1130
01:04:33,911 --> 01:04:35,287
- Yes!
- You just said "wily temptress."
1131
01:04:35,371 --> 01:04:37,247
Yes, I did, because
that is what she is.
1132
01:04:37,790 --> 01:04:40,125
And what do wily
temptresses do, Jack?
1133
01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:44,337
They tempt in a wily fashion.
And then they play you.
1134
01:04:45,006 --> 01:04:49,217
Tempt, play, tempt, play. And
she's playing you, my friend.
1135
01:04:49,302 --> 01:04:52,470
Don't let her play you out
of what is rightfully yours.
1136
01:04:52,555 --> 01:04:56,641
Keep your eyes on the prize, Jack!
Eyes on the prize.
1137
01:05:05,735 --> 01:05:08,695
Hey, McNally. What'd you
do, take the weekend off?
1138
01:05:08,779 --> 01:05:09,905
- Oh...
- Have fun?
1139
01:05:09,989 --> 01:05:12,157
No, I remember when I didn't
care about my career, either.
1140
01:05:12,241 --> 01:05:16,244
I'm sorry, I just had this thing this
weekend with my husband's family...
1141
01:05:16,329 --> 01:05:18,163
Your husband?
You got married?
1142
01:05:18,289 --> 01:05:20,498
Well, thanks for the invite. I didn't
even know you had a boyfriend.
1143
01:05:20,666 --> 01:05:22,876
Yeah, no, I'm married.
I didn't tell you that?
1144
01:05:23,002 --> 01:05:25,962
No, you didn't. I guess
you're not a big sharer.
1145
01:05:26,047 --> 01:05:28,298
Now, listen, Joy, I've been in
this business for a long time.
1146
01:05:28,382 --> 01:05:31,468
And the thing that I value most
in my employees is honesty.
1147
01:05:31,552 --> 01:05:35,013
So I'm gonna be honest with you.
Right now, you and Chong are tied.
1148
01:05:35,097 --> 01:05:38,016
Now, Chonger is bringing her
husband to the retreat.
1149
01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:41,686
- I think you should bring yours, too.
- He will be there.
1150
01:05:42,521 --> 01:05:44,814
- You can count on it, sir.
- Good.
1151
01:05:50,655 --> 01:05:51,655
No?
1152
01:05:53,574 --> 01:05:56,034
No. I have a lot of stuff
to do this weekend,
1153
01:05:56,118 --> 01:05:57,994
and while the idea of hanging
out with you and playing house
1154
01:05:58,079 --> 01:06:02,248
in front of all your boring
co-workers sounds not fun at all,
1155
01:06:02,583 --> 01:06:04,417
I'm going to have to pass.
1156
01:06:06,545 --> 01:06:09,923
This is really important
for my promotion. You see,
1157
01:06:10,549 --> 01:06:13,885
my boss said that he
wants to meet my husband
1158
01:06:15,304 --> 01:06:17,514
so I just promised him
that you would be there.
1159
01:06:17,598 --> 01:06:19,933
Maybe you should
have asked me first.
1160
01:06:20,977 --> 01:06:22,185
Okay.
1161
01:06:23,396 --> 01:06:26,398
- I need this, Jack.
- I need a lot of things, Joy.
1162
01:06:31,570 --> 01:06:32,779
So let me get this straight.
1163
01:06:32,863 --> 01:06:36,449
She asked you to come to
a retreat for her job.
1164
01:06:36,534 --> 01:06:37,826
Yeah.
1165
01:06:37,910 --> 01:06:40,870
The most important thing
to her in the world.
1166
01:06:41,998 --> 01:06:44,624
Do you believe that?
I was like, "No!"
1167
01:06:46,627 --> 01:06:52,507
'Cause I'm like... I'm like,
"Hey, what are you still doing here?"
1168
01:06:53,384 --> 01:06:56,344
Jack! You have got to get
your ass down there,
1169
01:06:56,429 --> 01:06:59,055
pretend to be the perfect husband,
charm them all, and then,
1170
01:06:59,140 --> 01:07:01,933
when you have them eating out
of the palm of your hand,
1171
01:07:02,018 --> 01:07:03,935
you make her sign this.
1172
01:07:05,312 --> 01:07:07,605
- What's this?
- This is a document, okay,
1173
01:07:08,399 --> 01:07:11,192
relinquishing all the
rights to the money.
1174
01:07:11,652 --> 01:07:16,865
Right? You tell her if she doesn't sign it,
you're gonna out her in front of everybody.
1175
01:07:19,285 --> 01:07:20,410
Yeah.
1176
01:07:22,329 --> 01:07:23,872
I mean, that's not, you know...
1177
01:07:23,956 --> 01:07:26,082
It's not pretty, but we can...
1178
01:07:26,667 --> 01:07:28,334
I can laminate it.
1179
01:07:31,922 --> 01:07:35,800
- I don't know.
- Okay, look, Jack, the hearing's in a week.
1180
01:07:35,885 --> 01:07:38,011
Okay? This is our last shot.
1181
01:07:58,866 --> 01:08:00,992
- Hey, McNally.
- Mr. Banger.
1182
01:08:01,327 --> 01:08:02,648
So, where's this
husband of yours?
1183
01:08:02,661 --> 01:08:05,497
I just met Chonger's husband.
He's a very smart guy.
1184
01:08:05,581 --> 01:08:07,665
He's a tool, but he's smart.
1185
01:08:08,167 --> 01:08:09,501
He's...
1186
01:08:11,796 --> 01:08:15,465
So the spaceman says,
"I don't even have a vagina!"
1187
01:08:15,549 --> 01:08:16,925
He's there!
1188
01:08:18,511 --> 01:08:20,637
I'll just take this to him.
1189
01:08:22,973 --> 01:08:24,891
Mr. Banger, I just wanted
to take this moment
1190
01:08:24,975 --> 01:08:27,519
to express to you my gratitude.
1191
01:08:28,938 --> 01:08:30,730
I'll be seeing you at the...
1192
01:08:31,148 --> 01:08:32,357
The dining table.
1193
01:08:32,983 --> 01:08:34,359
- Hey, hey!
- Hey.
1194
01:08:37,029 --> 01:08:38,071
I'm so glad to see you.
1195
01:08:38,155 --> 01:08:39,823
Muffin, I've been looking
everywhere for you.
1196
01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:43,368
This is why everyone should
have their wife on LoJack.
1197
01:08:43,869 --> 01:08:46,871
Let me introduce you to my friends.
This is David Young, your CFO.
1198
01:08:46,956 --> 01:08:48,957
Mr. Young. An honor. Hi.
1199
01:08:49,208 --> 01:08:51,709
And this is the rest of
your board, actually.
1200
01:08:52,002 --> 01:08:54,921
Great people. Wealthy people.
Sit down, sit down, sit down.
1201
01:08:57,174 --> 01:08:58,633
So you're the lucky guy.
1202
01:08:58,717 --> 01:09:01,344
- Hi. Jack Fuller.
- I'm Richard Banger.
1203
01:09:02,346 --> 01:09:04,055
You're in my seat.
1204
01:09:05,141 --> 01:09:07,600
Wait, your name is
Richard Banger?
1205
01:09:08,060 --> 01:09:10,061
Your name is Dick Banger.
1206
01:09:10,187 --> 01:09:11,980
Dick Banger! Dick Banger?
1207
01:09:12,106 --> 01:09:16,109
You, sir, have just provided us
with jokes for the whole weekend!
1208
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:22,824
Well, you must be Jack... off!
1209
01:09:22,908 --> 01:09:24,659
Jack-Off! Give it to me, baby!
1210
01:09:24,743 --> 01:09:26,953
- Jack-Off, buddy!
- He has a comeback!
1211
01:09:27,830 --> 01:09:29,789
McNally, where have you
been hiding this guy?
1212
01:09:29,874 --> 01:09:31,666
You know, I've just been
keeping him all to myself!
1213
01:09:31,750 --> 01:09:33,150
Well, you gotta
learn how to share.
1214
01:09:33,169 --> 01:09:37,297
All right, everybody, let's sit down.
Brainiac, Chonger, move over.
1215
01:09:37,965 --> 01:09:41,384
"Jack-Off." How about it?
Oh, boy.
1216
01:09:41,468 --> 01:09:45,680
I don't know what made you change your
mind, and I don't need to. I just...
1217
01:09:45,764 --> 01:09:47,098
Thank you.
1218
01:09:50,102 --> 01:09:53,062
- "Jack-Off." I love that.
- Yeah, I do, too.
1219
01:09:56,650 --> 01:10:00,236
I love that, that you said that.
Because it was...
1220
01:10:01,780 --> 01:10:03,114
For a moment there, I...
1221
01:10:03,199 --> 01:10:04,532
I'm so sorry.
1222
01:10:05,326 --> 01:10:07,035
Joy, come on over! Joy!
1223
01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:09,871
I'm on it!
1224
01:10:10,831 --> 01:10:13,041
- Yeah!
- I'm on it.
1225
01:10:15,836 --> 01:10:17,462
Yeah! Yeah!
1226
01:10:21,133 --> 01:10:25,136
♪ One looks for happiness ♪
♪ One longs to find a partner. ♪
1227
01:10:25,387 --> 01:10:29,307
♪ One knows that nowadays ♪
♪ One love will be the answer ♪
1228
01:10:31,060 --> 01:10:33,728
♪ One sees a crazy world ♪
♪ One needs a fresh perspective. ♪
1229
01:10:33,812 --> 01:10:35,521
- Hey.
- So what's up? She sign it yet?
1230
01:10:35,606 --> 01:10:37,899
- No, not yet.
- You better not be pussying out on me!
1231
01:10:37,983 --> 01:10:40,652
Don't get your panties in a bunch. I'm
just waiting for her to get down here.
1232
01:10:40,861 --> 01:10:42,737
Got to warm these
people up, you know?
1233
01:10:42,821 --> 01:10:44,948
All right, well, call me
when it's done, okay?
1234
01:10:45,032 --> 01:10:46,241
I'm holding down the
fort in the meantime.
1235
01:10:46,325 --> 01:10:47,367
- Yeah. All right.
- Bye.
1236
01:10:51,330 --> 01:10:52,622
Lavender.
1237
01:10:53,832 --> 01:10:55,541
You get on my head.
1238
01:10:58,013 --> 01:11:02,232
Oh, my God. That is slick.
That is something else.
1239
01:11:37,543 --> 01:11:39,919
- Can you believe this?
- No.
1240
01:11:42,089 --> 01:11:45,550
I guess I was wrong.
You do clean up pretty well.
1241
01:11:49,638 --> 01:11:50,763
What?
1242
01:11:52,349 --> 01:11:54,309
No, you just... You...
1243
01:11:55,060 --> 01:11:57,145
I like your hair like that.
1244
01:11:58,105 --> 01:11:59,355
Thanks.
1245
01:11:59,898 --> 01:12:01,691
Can I get two shots?
1246
01:12:02,067 --> 01:12:03,860
You know what? Make it three.
1247
01:12:03,944 --> 01:12:06,446
Hello, McNally. Jack-Off,
how are you doing?
1248
01:12:07,906 --> 01:12:09,186
- Hey, Mr. Banger.
- How are you?
1249
01:12:09,199 --> 01:12:10,241
Good.
1250
01:12:10,743 --> 01:12:11,909
Cheers.
1251
01:12:14,997 --> 01:12:18,166
"Hello, my name is Joy's Bitch."
1252
01:12:20,586 --> 01:12:23,546
How's it going tonight?
You guys having fun?
1253
01:12:24,673 --> 01:12:27,759
That's a good one, McNally.
I had no idea you were so much fun.
1254
01:12:27,843 --> 01:12:29,052
She's very serious at work.
1255
01:12:29,136 --> 01:12:31,512
You don't know her that well.
This one's a wildcat.
1256
01:12:31,597 --> 01:12:35,641
- I wouldn't lie to you, Big Dick.
- Well, if you did, I'd have to kill you.
1257
01:12:35,726 --> 01:12:37,852
- Seriously.
- There's nothing this woman loves
1258
01:12:37,936 --> 01:12:39,257
- more than a good dare.
- Really?
1259
01:12:39,313 --> 01:12:41,189
Yeah. You ever see what she can
do with a champagne bottle?
1260
01:12:41,273 --> 01:12:44,734
- Unbelievable. Shocking.
- No, it's just... It's a party trick. It's not...
1261
01:12:44,818 --> 01:12:46,194
I dare you.
1262
01:12:52,951 --> 01:12:54,952
- I hate you.
- You love me.
1263
01:12:57,915 --> 01:12:59,999
Very good! Very good!
1264
01:13:00,084 --> 01:13:02,960
Terrific! You know, had I
seen this side of you before,
1265
01:13:03,045 --> 01:13:06,297
I probably would have
promoted you a long time ago.
1266
01:13:10,594 --> 01:13:13,012
♪ Get down on it. ♪
1267
01:13:13,097 --> 01:13:15,056
- That's a lot.
- Your turn.
1268
01:13:15,140 --> 01:13:17,433
How you gonna do it If you
really don't wanna dance.
1269
01:13:17,810 --> 01:13:19,560
By standing on the wall?
1270
01:13:19,645 --> 01:13:21,771
You know what?
You shouldn't do that.
1271
01:13:22,815 --> 01:13:24,649
You've got this, okay?
1272
01:13:25,692 --> 01:13:27,276
Throw the dice.
1273
01:13:28,153 --> 01:13:29,779
You've got this.
1274
01:13:31,824 --> 01:13:33,491
- We need what, a seven?
- A seven!
1275
01:13:33,617 --> 01:13:35,410
- Okay.
- Throw a seven!
1276
01:13:38,163 --> 01:13:39,288
Seven.
1277
01:13:39,373 --> 01:13:40,790
Oh, my God!
1278
01:13:41,083 --> 01:13:42,917
- Thank you. Thank you.
- You're welcome.
1279
01:13:43,001 --> 01:13:45,294
We're done. Can we quit? Can we quit?
We're... Okay.
1280
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:46,546
Throw it in there.
1281
01:13:46,630 --> 01:13:50,383
Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen,
would you please gather round?
1282
01:13:51,510 --> 01:13:55,763
Come on. Don't be afraid.
This year's Golden Handshake Award
1283
01:13:55,848 --> 01:13:59,183
for best team spirit
goes to a new face,
1284
01:13:59,810 --> 01:14:04,063
and one of the funniest son of a bitches
I've ever had the pleasure to know.
1285
01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:06,357
And I think you know
who I'm talking about.
1286
01:14:06,442 --> 01:14:11,529
- Jack-Off! Jack-Off! Jack-Off!
- Jack-Off! Jack-Off! Jack-Off!
1287
01:14:11,613 --> 01:14:13,656
Get up here! Come on!
1288
01:14:15,284 --> 01:14:17,618
Congratulations, Jack-Off.
1289
01:14:19,538 --> 01:14:22,790
Well, thank you all for
an amazing weekend. I...
1290
01:14:25,002 --> 01:14:27,211
I have to thank my wife, Joy.
1291
01:14:32,301 --> 01:14:36,012
She probably never told you all
the story about how we met.
1292
01:14:41,560 --> 01:14:44,604
It might come as a
surprise to many of you
1293
01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:49,442
that we didn't know each other for
very long before we got hitched.
1294
01:14:56,241 --> 01:14:58,951
What can I say? You know?
When you know, you know.
1295
01:15:01,038 --> 01:15:05,291
On our wedding night, we were so busy
running back to the honeymoon suite
1296
01:15:05,375 --> 01:15:10,046
that we never really got a
chance to have a first dance.
1297
01:15:10,672 --> 01:15:11,756
So...
1298
01:15:14,927 --> 01:15:16,219
Ladies and gentlemen,
1299
01:15:16,303 --> 01:15:19,514
for the first time,
Mr. and Mrs. Jack Fuller!
1300
01:15:26,813 --> 01:15:30,399
♪ First, when there's nothing ♪
1301
01:15:30,484 --> 01:15:34,904
♪ but a slow glowing dream. ♪
1302
01:15:35,280 --> 01:15:37,865
♪ That your fear seems to hide... ♪
1303
01:15:39,076 --> 01:15:40,785
You hear that?
1304
01:15:40,869 --> 01:15:43,996
- They're clinking.
- Yeah. They are clinking.
1305
01:15:44,831 --> 01:15:47,583
I think that means
they want us to kiss.
1306
01:15:47,793 --> 01:15:50,503
Well, if that's what
the crowd wants...
1307
01:15:51,296 --> 01:15:54,674
Yeah, but if you're not up for it,
you don't have to. It's fine.
1308
01:15:54,758 --> 01:15:58,636
In a world made of steel.
1309
01:15:58,720 --> 01:16:02,306
♪ Made of stone. ♪
1310
01:16:06,478 --> 01:16:10,022
♪ Well, I hear the music. ♪
1311
01:16:10,232 --> 01:16:13,818
♪ Close my eyes, feel the rhythm. ♪
1312
01:16:14,319 --> 01:16:15,903
♪ Wrap around. ♪
1313
01:16:15,988 --> 01:16:21,117
♪ Take a hold of my heart. ♪
1314
01:16:21,994 --> 01:16:23,869
♪ What a feeling! ♪
1315
01:16:25,414 --> 01:16:28,291
♪ Being's believing ♪
1316
01:16:29,251 --> 01:16:35,756
♪ I can't have it all now ♪
♪ I'm dancing for my life. ♪
1317
01:16:36,925 --> 01:16:38,843
♪ Take your passion. ♪
1318
01:16:40,304 --> 01:16:43,014
♪ And make it happen. ♪
1319
01:16:46,018 --> 01:16:47,852
Go. Go.
1320
01:16:54,192 --> 01:16:57,695
Okay, people.
Party like you mean it.
1321
01:16:57,821 --> 01:17:00,865
And what happens
in Tujunga Falls
1322
01:17:01,575 --> 01:17:03,909
stays in Tujunga Falls!
1323
01:17:05,162 --> 01:17:07,872
We love it!
We love it! We love it!
1324
01:17:08,165 --> 01:17:11,500
♪ Now I hear the music. ♪
1325
01:17:11,835 --> 01:17:15,338
♪ Close my eyes, I am rhythm. ♪
1326
01:17:15,881 --> 01:17:17,214
♪ In a flash. ♪
1327
01:17:17,382 --> 01:17:18,966
♪ It takes hold ♪
1328
01:17:19,384 --> 01:17:23,220
♪ of my heart. ♪
1329
01:17:23,972 --> 01:17:25,264
♪ What a feeling. ♪
1330
01:17:25,349 --> 01:17:27,016
All right, look.
1331
01:17:27,559 --> 01:17:30,686
When's the last time you
were, like, really happy?
1332
01:17:30,771 --> 01:17:32,772
- Really happy?
- And don't say Vegas,
1333
01:17:32,856 --> 01:17:36,233
because if you do, I'll just...
I'll have to cry.
1334
01:17:38,111 --> 01:17:39,236
Okay.
1335
01:17:40,989 --> 01:17:42,907
There was this one day,
1336
01:17:43,867 --> 01:17:46,285
before the Exchange,
before Mason.
1337
01:17:48,080 --> 01:17:52,166
I was feeling really
adventurous, so I took the ferry
1338
01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:55,086
- about 30 miles east of the city.
- Mmm-hmm.
1339
01:17:55,629 --> 01:17:57,380
There was this great lighthouse.
1340
01:17:57,464 --> 01:18:01,092
I mean, it was just right on
the beach, off the boardwalk.
1341
01:18:01,510 --> 01:18:03,511
- You went there by yourself?
- Yeah.
1342
01:18:03,595 --> 01:18:06,389
You know, I just, like,
sat on the beach,
1343
01:18:07,432 --> 01:18:10,810
listened to the waves,
watched the sunset.
1344
01:18:12,396 --> 01:18:16,857
God! I had no concerns, you know?
I had, like, no responsibilities,
1345
01:18:16,942 --> 01:18:18,734
no job stressing me out.
1346
01:18:18,819 --> 01:18:21,946
I had no one to
please but myself.
1347
01:18:22,948 --> 01:18:25,408
- That's that photo you have.
- Yeah.
1348
01:18:26,702 --> 01:18:29,704
That was a great day.
1349
01:18:46,972 --> 01:18:49,390
I did take myself
out of the game.
1350
01:18:55,313 --> 01:18:57,356
If you stop betting,
1351
01:18:58,442 --> 01:19:00,317
you never have to lose.
1352
01:19:13,749 --> 01:19:15,541
I'd bet on you, Jack.
1353
01:19:29,639 --> 01:19:32,183
So, long day, huh?
1354
01:19:32,768 --> 01:19:34,143
Yeah.
1355
01:19:37,022 --> 01:19:39,899
So, we should
probably get to bed.
1356
01:19:42,027 --> 01:19:43,068
Yep.
1357
01:20:03,048 --> 01:20:05,382
Can you undo my zipper?
1358
01:20:06,009 --> 01:20:08,886
- It gets stuck.
- Yeah! Yeah.
1359
01:20:09,763 --> 01:20:11,138
Absolutely.
1360
01:20:16,311 --> 01:20:17,645
All right.
1361
01:20:31,493 --> 01:20:33,702
All right. Okay. There it is.
1362
01:20:38,625 --> 01:20:39,834
Thanks.
1363
01:21:08,405 --> 01:21:10,614
Hey, I... These...
1364
01:21:10,699 --> 01:21:14,285
- I wasn't in your things.
- It's okay. Just leave them right there.
1365
01:21:14,369 --> 01:21:16,120
I can put them back.
1366
01:21:22,127 --> 01:21:23,961
Good night, Mr. Fuller.
1367
01:21:24,546 --> 01:21:26,463
Good night, Mrs. Fuller.
1368
01:21:56,828 --> 01:21:58,287
♪ It's all right. ♪
1369
01:22:00,665 --> 01:22:02,041
♪ It's okay ♪
1370
01:22:03,335 --> 01:22:04,460
♪ Everything's all right ♪
1371
01:22:08,506 --> 01:22:09,924
♪ It's all right. ♪
1372
01:22:10,884 --> 01:22:13,177
♪ Everything's all right. ♪
1373
01:22:19,726 --> 01:22:20,726
♪ It's okay. ♪
1374
01:22:22,854 --> 01:22:26,106
Okay, I'm on my way. I know.
1375
01:22:26,191 --> 01:22:27,691
It's almost over. I'm
about to be a free woman.
1376
01:22:27,776 --> 01:22:30,402
- Joy. Joy!
- What?
1377
01:22:31,696 --> 01:22:33,155
I have to go.
1378
01:22:33,490 --> 01:22:34,949
- Mason?
- Yeah.
1379
01:22:37,369 --> 01:22:40,746
I can't talk right now. I'm sorry.
I have to get going. I just...
1380
01:22:40,830 --> 01:22:42,665
I want you back, Joy.
1381
01:22:44,209 --> 01:22:46,961
- What?
- I made a huge mistake letting you go.
1382
01:22:47,045 --> 01:22:48,712
I see that now.
1383
01:22:48,797 --> 01:22:52,007
Seeing you the other day, you
had this glow about you.
1384
01:22:52,092 --> 01:22:54,843
Not that you didn't
before, it's just...
1385
01:22:54,928 --> 01:22:57,054
Sometimes it takes
losing something
1386
01:22:57,138 --> 01:22:59,473
for you to realize what you had.
1387
01:23:00,183 --> 01:23:03,102
I want to make up for
the wrong I did to you.
1388
01:23:04,562 --> 01:23:06,063
This is yours.
1389
01:23:06,731 --> 01:23:09,608
I gave it to you, and I
want you to have it.
1390
01:23:11,778 --> 01:23:14,154
- Where did you get this?
- And Joy,
1391
01:23:15,907 --> 01:23:18,117
you are good enough for me.
1392
01:23:30,338 --> 01:23:31,588
I mean that!
1393
01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:50,232
Court is called to order.
1394
01:23:51,067 --> 01:23:54,111
Well, lookie here, lookie here!
The happy couple!
1395
01:23:54,195 --> 01:23:57,948
Six months down the road.
Did you learn anything?
1396
01:23:58,533 --> 01:23:59,575
We'll see.
1397
01:23:59,659 --> 01:24:02,786
Now, Dr. Twitchell, in your
opinion, did the couple,
1398
01:24:02,871 --> 01:24:04,913
Jack Fuller and Joy McNally,
1399
01:24:04,998 --> 01:24:07,708
obey the court order to live
together as man and wife,
1400
01:24:07,792 --> 01:24:11,211
and do you believe they put
sufficient effort into the marriage?
1401
01:24:16,217 --> 01:24:17,718
These two have
1402
01:24:20,638 --> 01:24:22,264
a lot of issues.
1403
01:24:22,682 --> 01:24:26,310
A lot of deeply
unsettling issues
1404
01:24:26,728 --> 01:24:30,105
that, as individuals, they
seriously need to work on.
1405
01:24:31,107 --> 01:24:32,441
Seriously.
1406
01:24:33,985 --> 01:24:36,820
But together,
in my honest opinion,
1407
01:24:38,198 --> 01:24:40,491
they're perfect for each other.
1408
01:24:41,076 --> 01:24:42,326
It's the real thing.
1409
01:24:43,286 --> 01:24:44,620
Go figure.
1410
01:24:46,331 --> 01:24:49,166
Well, thank you, Doctor.
You may step down.
1411
01:24:52,003 --> 01:24:53,337
Tipper!
1412
01:25:00,512 --> 01:25:02,096
Hi, Your Honor.
1413
01:25:02,931 --> 01:25:04,515
Have you lost weight?
1414
01:25:06,601 --> 01:25:08,352
Gotcha. Let's begin.
1415
01:25:08,978 --> 01:25:14,066
Although Ms. McNally ran up $25,000 in
credit card debt in my client's name,
1416
01:25:14,150 --> 01:25:16,819
my client recently
spent the same amount
1417
01:25:16,903 --> 01:25:19,863
for materials for his
new furniture business.
1418
01:25:20,198 --> 01:25:23,242
Therefore, we propose the
following settlement, Your Honor.
1419
01:25:23,493 --> 01:25:25,869
The original $3 million,
deduct half for taxes
1420
01:25:25,954 --> 01:25:28,664
and $50,000 that's
already been spent,
1421
01:25:28,748 --> 01:25:31,750
that leaves $1 .45
million to be divided...
1422
01:25:36,714 --> 01:25:37,923
equally.
1423
01:25:38,007 --> 01:25:41,885
Now that's the spirit! You've
learned to share! Do you accept?
1424
01:25:48,560 --> 01:25:50,602
No, Your Honor, we do not.
1425
01:25:51,771 --> 01:25:53,522
Gold-digging whore.
1426
01:25:53,606 --> 01:25:57,568
My client has advised me that she
doesn't want any of the money.
1427
01:25:58,486 --> 01:26:00,445
She just wants a divorce.
1428
01:26:01,364 --> 01:26:03,490
Miss McNally, are you sure?
1429
01:26:06,452 --> 01:26:07,995
Yes, your Honor, I am.
1430
01:26:08,079 --> 01:26:13,083
Well, then I hereby grant the divorce
and award all the monies to Mr. Fuller.
1431
01:26:13,585 --> 01:26:15,377
Court adjourned.
1432
01:26:20,925 --> 01:26:22,509
You win, Jack.
1433
01:26:22,594 --> 01:26:25,095
I officially want
nothing from you.
1434
01:26:32,061 --> 01:26:33,604
Oh, my God.
1435
01:26:33,688 --> 01:26:36,732
I won a case! Jesus Christ!
1436
01:26:36,816 --> 01:26:38,859
Dude, we won!
1437
01:26:39,110 --> 01:26:40,360
I won!
1438
01:26:40,445 --> 01:26:43,197
Yeah! I'm the law, bitches!
1439
01:26:43,281 --> 01:26:44,865
I'm a lawyer!
1440
01:26:45,533 --> 01:26:46,783
To me!
1441
01:26:47,535 --> 01:26:49,369
Anybody need a lawyer?
1442
01:26:51,789 --> 01:26:53,916
♪ And tonight I have to leave it. ♪
1443
01:26:54,209 --> 01:26:56,543
It's hard out there, isn't it?
1444
01:26:57,503 --> 01:26:59,379
Time heals all wounds.
1445
01:27:03,134 --> 01:27:07,971
Now that you guys are officially done,
is there any chance I can get her number.
1446
01:27:09,557 --> 01:27:10,974
E-mail is fine.
1447
01:27:12,685 --> 01:27:14,478
Go ahead, run it.
1448
01:27:18,191 --> 01:27:21,985
Have any idea what her plans are
going to be for the future?
1449
01:27:25,949 --> 01:27:27,324
Yeah, okay.
1450
01:27:27,742 --> 01:27:30,452
You don't have to
answer that right now.
1451
01:27:34,540 --> 01:27:36,667
Hey, I have a question.
1452
01:27:37,835 --> 01:27:39,920
How much does an island cost?
1453
01:27:48,096 --> 01:27:51,181
Now we come to the
final item on our agenda.
1454
01:27:53,101 --> 01:27:55,102
Congratulations, McNally.
1455
01:27:57,855 --> 01:28:00,482
Thank you, sir.
I won't let you down.
1456
01:28:06,406 --> 01:28:09,366
Okay, I think I'm gonna
have to let you down.
1457
01:28:09,450 --> 01:28:11,952
Why don't you just give
it to Chong, you know?
1458
01:28:12,036 --> 01:28:13,453
She's good, she deserves it,
1459
01:28:13,538 --> 01:28:15,998
and besides, I think she
just enjoys being miserable.
1460
01:28:16,374 --> 01:28:18,583
- Yes!
- You sure you know what you're doing?
1461
01:28:18,668 --> 01:28:21,628
No, I don't. But I think
that's the point.
1462
01:28:22,922 --> 01:28:25,549
I would rather do
nothing and be happy
1463
01:28:26,426 --> 01:28:29,011
than do something
that I don't love.
1464
01:28:42,025 --> 01:28:43,817
Well, I lost her at happy.
1465
01:28:43,901 --> 01:28:45,652
I don't know what the hell she
was trying to say anyway.
1466
01:28:45,737 --> 01:28:48,238
Well done, Chonger.
The job is yours.
1467
01:28:52,035 --> 01:28:53,327
Thank you.
1468
01:28:53,911 --> 01:28:55,996
So! Jack made a
piece of furniture.
1469
01:28:56,998 --> 01:28:58,415
He finished it.
1470
01:28:58,499 --> 01:29:00,167
Okay. Go ahead, Dad.
What's wrong with it?
1471
01:29:00,251 --> 01:29:01,710
Nothing. It's good.
1472
01:29:01,794 --> 01:29:04,087
It's really good.
I'm proud of you.
1473
01:29:07,258 --> 01:29:08,467
- Thank you.
- But...
1474
01:29:08,551 --> 01:29:09,551
Here we go.
1475
01:29:09,594 --> 01:29:11,178
...you royally screwed up
when it comes to that girl.
1476
01:29:11,262 --> 01:29:15,057
It was a big, stupid mistake. Okay?
The entire marriage was a lie!
1477
01:29:15,141 --> 01:29:17,684
The marriage might have been a
mistake, but it was not a lie.
1478
01:29:17,769 --> 01:29:20,562
And I think that anybody who has
spent time with you two recently
1479
01:29:20,646 --> 01:29:21,730
could tell you that.
1480
01:29:21,814 --> 01:29:25,025
So why don't you get your
head out of your ass
1481
01:29:25,109 --> 01:29:27,277
and go do something about it?
1482
01:29:27,904 --> 01:29:31,281
Or should I tell you not to,
and then maybe you will?
1483
01:29:34,577 --> 01:29:37,245
- She's gone, man.
- Gone? What do you mean, gone?
1484
01:29:37,330 --> 01:29:41,666
She, like, lost it. She quit her job,
shut off her phone. She took off.
1485
01:29:41,918 --> 01:29:43,919
Look, I don't really
care much for you,
1486
01:29:44,003 --> 01:29:45,844
and I want to cut your friend Hater.
Seriously.
1487
01:29:45,922 --> 01:29:47,172
But for some reason,
1488
01:29:47,256 --> 01:29:50,217
you're, like, the only man that
Joy can actually be herself with,
1489
01:29:50,301 --> 01:29:54,262
so I wanna tell you where she is,
I really do. I just don't know.
1490
01:29:54,847 --> 01:29:56,848
- What do you know?
- I don't know. If you were miserable
1491
01:29:56,933 --> 01:30:00,435
and you wanted to get happy
again, where would you go?
1492
01:30:02,188 --> 01:30:03,313
What?
1493
01:30:05,024 --> 01:30:06,358
Thank you.
1494
01:30:09,612 --> 01:30:11,947
Okay, tell you what. We both go.
1495
01:30:12,240 --> 01:30:13,520
That way, when she sees us both,
1496
01:30:13,533 --> 01:30:16,076
she can make up her mind on
who she wants to be with.
1497
01:30:16,160 --> 01:30:20,038
I've loaned you my band saw,
I've loaned you my beer tap.
1498
01:30:20,123 --> 01:30:21,665
Do you even know how
to drive an automatic?
1499
01:30:21,749 --> 01:30:23,417
The keys. Give me the keys.
1500
01:30:23,501 --> 01:30:24,918
Here. Sorry.
1501
01:30:25,461 --> 01:30:27,838
Go get your future ex-ex-wife.
1502
01:30:37,473 --> 01:30:40,559
♪ What're you doing later? ♪
♪ You like trance music? ♪
1503
01:30:45,523 --> 01:30:49,359
♪ What a waste of time The ♪
♪ thought crossed my mind. ♪
1504
01:30:49,444 --> 01:30:52,112
♪ But I never missed a beat. ♪
1505
01:30:52,905 --> 01:30:56,992
♪ Can't explain the ♪
♪ who or what I was. ♪
1506
01:30:57,368 --> 01:30:59,744
♪ Trying to believe. ♪
1507
01:31:00,288 --> 01:31:01,955
♪ What would you do? ♪
1508
01:31:03,875 --> 01:31:07,043
♪ What would you do? ♪
♪ Do you know? ♪
1509
01:31:07,378 --> 01:31:11,256
♪ I once had a grip on everything. ♪
1510
01:31:11,340 --> 01:31:14,426
♪ It feels better to let go ♪
1511
01:31:14,510 --> 01:31:16,553
♪ I'm not over ♪
1512
01:31:18,389 --> 01:31:21,975
♪ I'm not over you just yet. ♪
1513
01:31:22,059 --> 01:31:24,060
♪ Cannot hide it. ♪
1514
01:31:25,730 --> 01:31:29,232
♪ You're not that easy to forget ♪
1515
01:31:36,090 --> 01:31:38,090
♪ I'm not over. ♪
1516
01:32:02,558 --> 01:32:03,934
You found me.
1517
01:32:05,937 --> 01:32:07,729
You left this behind,
1518
01:32:08,940 --> 01:32:12,817
and I wanted to bring
it back to you.
1519
01:32:18,282 --> 01:32:22,160
Do you know how many lighthouses
there are 30 miles east of the city?
1520
01:32:22,245 --> 01:32:23,995
- How many?
- Five.
1521
01:32:24,080 --> 01:32:26,957
- Really?
- Yeah, just in case you're wondering.
1522
01:32:27,041 --> 01:32:28,083
So.
1523
01:32:29,293 --> 01:32:34,839
Did you come all the way out here
just to give this back to me?
1524
01:32:35,800 --> 01:32:38,510
I did. So I'm going
to get out of here.
1525
01:32:41,389 --> 01:32:43,223
All right. Here it is.
1526
01:32:44,183 --> 01:32:46,810
When we were married,
I was horrible.
1527
01:32:47,603 --> 01:32:50,230
Sick. Just wrong.
1528
01:32:52,441 --> 01:32:55,026
And it's the best
time I've ever had.
1529
01:32:58,698 --> 01:33:01,032
You bet on me, Joy,
1530
01:33:03,661 --> 01:33:06,288
and you made me want
to bet on myself.
1531
01:33:06,706 --> 01:33:10,000
So don't think about anyone else
1532
01:33:10,501 --> 01:33:13,503
and just answer this for you.
1533
01:33:22,221 --> 01:33:24,556
Do you want to be married to me?
1534
01:33:25,641 --> 01:33:26,808
Again?
1535
01:33:29,395 --> 01:33:30,687
You know,
1536
01:33:32,023 --> 01:33:35,191
for so long, I've just... I've
tried to please everybody.
1537
01:33:35,693 --> 01:33:38,778
And by not trying to please you,
1538
01:33:41,407 --> 01:33:43,658
I think I became myself again.
1539
01:33:46,871 --> 01:33:47,912
I do
1540
01:33:49,040 --> 01:33:52,876
want to be married to you again.
1541
01:34:19,403 --> 01:34:20,862
I quit my job.
1542
01:34:22,073 --> 01:34:23,281
I heard.
1543
01:34:23,532 --> 01:34:26,951
I have absolutely no idea what
I'm going to do. No clue.
1544
01:34:27,078 --> 01:34:31,706
Well, it's a good thing that I have...
That we have a ton of money.
1545
01:34:31,791 --> 01:34:33,458
Oh, my God!
1546
01:34:35,211 --> 01:34:38,421
That's right.
We hit the jackpot.
1547
01:34:39,173 --> 01:34:40,507
Yeah, I did.
1548
01:34:45,596 --> 01:34:48,515
Now, Joy, do you
take this young man
1549
01:34:49,684 --> 01:34:54,270
to be your lawfully wedded husband,
in sickness and in health,
1550
01:34:54,605 --> 01:34:55,605
Uh-huh.
1551
01:34:55,731 --> 01:34:57,774
For richer or for poorer...
1552
01:34:58,776 --> 01:35:00,068
I do. I take him.
1553
01:35:00,152 --> 01:35:01,986
Naughty! Naughty!
1554
01:35:02,071 --> 01:35:04,989
Jack, would you put the
ring upon her finger?
1555
01:35:05,908 --> 01:35:08,368
- Was that the one?
- That was it! Oh, my God!
1556
01:35:08,452 --> 01:35:10,245
You may kiss the bride.
1557
01:35:12,248 --> 01:35:13,915
This is the greatest
day of my life!
1558
01:35:14,375 --> 01:35:18,002
- This is the greatest day of my...
- What? What?
1559
01:35:19,880 --> 01:35:21,005
Oh, my...
1560
01:35:21,215 --> 01:35:22,716
This is marvelous,
simply marvelous.
1561
01:35:22,800 --> 01:35:24,843
- Bye! Thank you!
- Bye-bye.
1562
01:35:24,969 --> 01:35:26,678
Have fun, you guys!
1563
01:35:26,762 --> 01:35:28,388
It's so much fun in there!
You guys are gonna love it!
1564
01:35:28,472 --> 01:35:30,557
- Woman!
- Holy shit.
1565
01:35:30,641 --> 01:35:32,684
- Woman!
- I'm coming!
1566
01:35:34,645 --> 01:35:35,812
Hey!
1567
01:35:40,192 --> 01:35:43,778
♪ No one here likes you ♪
♪ Go away get a clue. ♪
1568
01:35:43,863 --> 01:35:45,822
♪ Go back to your... zoo ♪
1569
01:35:46,991 --> 01:35:48,783
♪ And now we're ♪
♪ standing face to face ♪
1570
01:35:50,786 --> 01:35:55,081
♪ Isn't this world a crazy place ♪
1571
01:36:00,337 --> 01:36:01,337
Why?
1572
01:36:01,422 --> 01:36:03,095
You know why!
1573
01:36:07,819 --> 01:36:09,492
You know why!
1574
01:36:10,306 --> 01:36:15,018
♪ No one here likes you ♪
♪ Go away, get a clue. ♪
1575
01:36:15,186 --> 01:36:19,355
♪ Go back to your... zoo ♪
♪ or whatever it is you do ♪
1576
01:36:19,440 --> 01:36:23,735
♪ I don't know why ♪
♪ I don't like what's in your eyes. ♪
1577
01:36:23,986 --> 01:36:26,279
♪ And I'd love to split them wide ♪
1578
01:36:28,032 --> 01:36:30,366
♪ I could pretend. ♪
1579
01:36:30,743 --> 01:36:34,871
♪ Can't you understand ♪
♪ I hate you my friend. ♪
1580
01:36:36,499 --> 01:36:39,209
♪ Some call it an obsession. ♪
1581
01:36:40,753 --> 01:36:43,713
♪ And some call it a good hate. ♪
1582
01:36:44,882 --> 01:36:47,842
♪ And I'll just call it pathetic. ♪
1583
01:36:48,719 --> 01:36:51,679
♪ But some totally relate ♪
1584
01:36:53,724 --> 01:36:57,852
♪ I'd rather go to hell than ♪
♪ shake your hand or wish you well. ♪
1585
01:36:58,395 --> 01:37:00,271
♪ In case you couldn't tell. ♪
1586
01:37:02,399 --> 01:37:06,444
♪ Go ahead, boy, drink your drink ♪
♪ Go ahead, boy, do your thing. ♪
1587
01:37:06,695 --> 01:37:10,365
♪ Can you learn the words ♪
♪ to every song I sing ♪
1588
01:37:10,991 --> 01:37:13,034
♪ I could pretend. ♪
1589
01:37:13,661 --> 01:37:17,747
♪ Can't you understand ♪
♪ I hate you my friend. ♪
1590
01:37:36,642 --> 01:37:39,269
♪ Some call it an obsession. ♪
1591
01:37:40,771 --> 01:37:43,606
♪ And some call it a good hate. ♪
1592
01:37:45,025 --> 01:37:47,944
♪ And I'll just call it pathetic. ♪
1593
01:37:48,737 --> 01:37:51,781
♪ But some totally relate. ♪
1594
01:37:53,325 --> 01:37:58,079
♪ No one here likes you ♪
♪ Go away, get a clue. ♪
1595
01:37:58,163 --> 01:38:02,250
♪ Go back to your... zoo ♪
♪ or whatever it is you do ♪
1596
01:38:02,501 --> 01:38:04,502
♪ I could pretend. ♪
1597
01:38:05,087 --> 01:38:09,299
♪ Can't you understand ♪
♪ I hate you my friend ♪
1598
01:38:11,343 --> 01:38:18,224
♪ I hate you my friend. ♪
1599
01:40:42,286 --> 01:40:43,953
You like to party?
126246
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