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1
00:00:32,204 --> 00:00:36,747
The Channel 3 Noon Report, with anchor
partners Greg Corbin and Terry Bates.
2
00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:40,119
News that's independent,
proud and unashamed.
3
00:00:40,212 --> 00:00:42,205
- Good news today, Greg.
- Sure is.
4
00:00:42,298 --> 00:00:46,627
The threat level has been lowered,
prompting reductions in security.
5
00:00:46,718 --> 00:00:48,795
The threat level is now blue,
6
00:00:48,888 --> 00:00:51,675
- same as my handsome coanchor's eyes.
- Stop.
7
00:00:51,765 --> 00:00:55,348
- Come on, now. Learn to take a compliment.
- Thank you.
8
00:00:55,436 --> 00:00:58,436
Now, how hard is that?
Let's check the freeways.
9
00:01:00,023 --> 00:01:02,431
Hey, they just lowered the terror level.
10
00:01:02,526 --> 00:01:06,191
- Sweet. Wanna play backgammon?
- Do I.
11
00:01:09,241 --> 00:01:12,409
Well done.
Our country is a full colour-value safer.
12
00:01:12,495 --> 00:01:15,412
Hey. The boss just said
we could take a half-day.
13
00:01:15,498 --> 00:01:18,332
All right. I got stuff to do.
14
00:01:27,009 --> 00:01:30,010
- Wanna ride the escalators at the mall?
- Do I.
15
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:37,599
- Take something out or close the refrigerator.
- Nothing looks good to me.
16
00:01:37,687 --> 00:01:40,853
You know what looks good?
Francine bent over that sink.
17
00:01:40,940 --> 00:01:43,858
Klaus, calm down. Well, you're home early.
18
00:01:43,943 --> 00:01:46,944
That's my reward
for making the world a safer place.
19
00:01:47,029 --> 00:01:49,235
That and this magnificent paycheck.
20
00:01:49,323 --> 00:01:52,657
- That's my Stan the Man.
- Here's your allowance, champ.
21
00:01:52,743 --> 00:01:55,364
- Wow. A whole five bucks.
- Yeah, I need change.
22
00:01:55,454 --> 00:01:59,452
- I can't buy a GameStation with this.
- You know, when I was a boy, $5...
23
00:01:59,542 --> 00:02:02,543
I'll give you $10 not to tell me this story.
24
00:02:03,129 --> 00:02:07,707
- What's this? Smells like crap.
- It should be empty. I had my soup for lunch.
25
00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,004
Honey, why is there a biohazard symbol
on your Thermos?
26
00:02:11,095 --> 00:02:13,337
Lemme see that.
27
00:02:22,357 --> 00:02:24,017
This is not soup.
28
00:02:24,108 --> 00:02:29,269
Langley Falls, where the Smith family is
quarantined in their Georgian colonial home.
29
00:02:29,364 --> 00:02:32,779
Actually, it's a Cape Cod.
The shutters are a dead giveaway.
30
00:02:32,868 --> 00:02:35,358
Thanks for correcting me, that's how I learn.
31
00:02:35,453 --> 00:02:40,246
They've been exposed to a biological agent
which will liquefy their internal organs.
32
00:02:40,333 --> 00:02:42,741
We have an image
of what that might look like,
33
00:02:42,835 --> 00:02:45,707
- but it's not for the squeamish.
- I'm not gonna look.
34
00:02:45,797 --> 00:02:47,624
This is a nightmare.
35
00:02:47,716 --> 00:02:50,918
Don't worry,
the media sensationalises everything.
36
00:02:51,010 --> 00:02:54,380
- Friend, what's the real deal?
- You're not going to die...
37
00:02:54,472 --> 00:02:57,045
- See there?
- What a relief.
38
00:02:57,141 --> 00:02:59,099
...for 24 hours.
39
00:02:59,186 --> 00:03:04,014
Just enough time for you to learn not
to interrupt someone when they're talking.
40
00:03:04,107 --> 00:03:06,894
We'll find a place for that homeless shelter.
41
00:03:06,985 --> 00:03:11,481
Thanks for all your hard work, Hayley.
And thanks for walking me home.
42
00:03:11,573 --> 00:03:14,324
My God.
43
00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:17,694
They let me come say goodbye.
44
00:03:17,788 --> 00:03:21,286
- I'm gonna miss you guys.
- How come she gets to live?
45
00:03:21,374 --> 00:03:24,292
I was helping the homeless
while you were being a loser.
46
00:03:24,378 --> 00:03:27,378
Yeah? Who's the loser now, loser?
47
00:03:27,464 --> 00:03:30,880
- Mom, Steve just infected me.
- Nobody likes a snitch.
48
00:03:31,343 --> 00:03:33,916
I don't believe this. We're all gonna die.
49
00:03:34,012 --> 00:03:36,634
Yeah, tough break.
Can you hold this for me?
50
00:03:36,723 --> 00:03:39,095
- What are you doing?
- Measuring for drapes.
51
00:03:39,184 --> 00:03:41,758
Soon as you're dead,
I'm gonna redo this place.
52
00:03:41,854 --> 00:03:46,100
I'm thinking something vibrant,
like a sea foam green.
53
00:03:46,191 --> 00:03:50,271
Cos I'm gonna need a lot of happy
to get over all this sad.
54
00:03:50,362 --> 00:03:55,024
- Dimmer switches everywhere.
- What makes you think you'll survive?
55
00:03:55,117 --> 00:03:58,865
- I'm immune to all human ailments.
- So explain that cold sore.
56
00:03:58,953 --> 00:04:02,999
- Mind your own business.
- Stop bickering. Time is precious.
57
00:04:03,083 --> 00:04:06,499
We have to make the most
of our last 24 hours together.
58
00:04:06,587 --> 00:04:09,422
She's right.
We should sit together as a family.
59
00:04:09,506 --> 00:04:13,006
And watch
the entire first season of 24 on DVD.
60
00:04:20,934 --> 00:04:24,304
That was bold television.
We still have a minute to spare.
61
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:27,066
- I can't believe I'll die a virgin.
- Sweetie.
62
00:04:27,149 --> 00:04:30,103
There was a 70-80% chance
of that happening anyway.
63
00:04:30,193 --> 00:04:33,812
- Daddy.
- No tears, dammit. A Smith dies with dignity.
64
00:04:33,906 --> 00:04:40,158
Kids, I've been tough on you,
but only because I love you so very, very...
65
00:04:41,330 --> 00:04:43,406
Right. I should probably wait.
66
00:04:43,499 --> 00:04:45,491
This is it.
67
00:04:50,339 --> 00:04:51,537
Look.
68
00:04:52,299 --> 00:04:56,344
- I was just snoozing.
- You're alive. We all are.
69
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:59,880
That clock's always fast.
Let's give it a few more minutes.
70
00:05:01,099 --> 00:05:03,638
Good news. That batch of virus was inert.
71
00:05:03,728 --> 00:05:05,850
- So that means...
- We're gonna be OK.
72
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:10,647
Yes. Although apparently
your manners died years ago.
73
00:05:10,735 --> 00:05:12,228
You're welcome.
74
00:05:13,237 --> 00:05:17,021
- What's wrong, honey? We're alive.
- I know, and that's good.
75
00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:20,201
But, well, when I thought
we were gonna die,
76
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,737
it made me realise
how little I've done with my life.
77
00:05:23,831 --> 00:05:27,200
And now I guess I'm feeling unfulfilled.
78
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,998
I've given you everything
you could ever want.
79
00:05:30,087 --> 00:05:35,674
You clean, you cook, and once a week
we lie together as husband and wife.
80
00:05:36,677 --> 00:05:40,378
- What's going on?
- Hi, Barb Hanson, Exposition Realty.
81
00:05:40,473 --> 00:05:45,016
Your virus scare prompted these folks
to put their house on the market.
82
00:05:45,103 --> 00:05:47,807
- Any questions?
- No, that was very concise.
83
00:05:47,897 --> 00:05:51,266
Call if you ever need a real estate agent.
I'm also a hand model.
84
00:05:51,359 --> 00:05:54,858
Sweet Sean Hannity. Your hands are lovely.
85
00:05:54,946 --> 00:05:58,730
- Come on, Francine.
- Boy. She seems so confident.
86
00:05:58,825 --> 00:06:05,574
The way she wears that smart blazer with her
company's logo. Her life must be so exciting.
87
00:06:05,665 --> 00:06:07,788
- You could do what she does.
- You think?
88
00:06:07,875 --> 00:06:12,621
Absolutely. We will absolutely get you
a real estate costume. You'll look adorable.
89
00:06:12,714 --> 00:06:15,204
And I'll dress up as a sea captain.
90
00:06:15,299 --> 00:06:17,423
- I mean a real job.
- It'll be great.
91
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:22,422
I'll be Admiral Finch and you'll be
Lady Constantina, my real estate agent.
92
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:26,429
We'll promenade around,
delighting young and old with our banter.
93
00:06:26,519 --> 00:06:31,893
I can't be a real estate agentjust because
you say so. It takes years to get a licence.
94
00:06:31,983 --> 00:06:34,901
You leave that to me, milady.
95
00:06:42,494 --> 00:06:43,869
- Barb Hanson?
- Yes.
96
00:06:43,953 --> 00:06:45,282
Go.
97
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,661
Wait. Go.
98
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:56,205
- What's going on?
- Congratulations, you're in real estate.
99
00:06:56,299 --> 00:07:00,796
- This is Barb's stuff. What happened to her?
- She'll be fine.
100
00:07:04,015 --> 00:07:06,589
Hi, Barb Hanson, Exposition Realty.
101
00:07:06,685 --> 00:07:09,258
Mind if I borrow one of your napkins?
Thanks.
102
00:07:16,653 --> 00:07:19,903
- You let your wife get ajob?
- No, it's more like a hobby.
103
00:07:19,990 --> 00:07:23,156
Something to keep her busy
until Stan the Man gets home.
104
00:07:23,243 --> 00:07:25,568
- I worked in real estate.
- What are you, gay?
105
00:07:25,662 --> 00:07:30,787
I was. Once I stopped selling houses,
my sodomy cleared up like that.
106
00:07:30,876 --> 00:07:34,790
You know what's wrong about gayness?
With two men, who has the vagina?
107
00:07:34,879 --> 00:07:39,921
- No kidding. You need a vagina.
- Yeah, vaginas are great. Wish I had one.
108
00:07:43,013 --> 00:07:45,967
I did it, I sold my first house.
109
00:07:46,058 --> 00:07:49,972
Who's my big girl? And such a nice family.
110
00:07:50,062 --> 00:07:54,854
They're just the movers.
The new owners are Greg and Terry.
111
00:07:56,443 --> 00:07:58,981
We don't want their kind
in this neighbourhood.
112
00:07:59,071 --> 00:08:03,649
- You're overreacting.
- Overreacting? Overreacting?
113
00:08:03,742 --> 00:08:06,529
Do you know what those two are?
114
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:10,534
Reporters. That's right, Francine,
members of the liberal media.
115
00:08:10,624 --> 00:08:14,788
Stan, not all journalists are bad.
You like Brit Hume, don't you?
116
00:08:14,879 --> 00:08:17,167
You know damn well I like Brit Hume.
117
00:08:17,256 --> 00:08:22,463
- Just give Greg and Terry a chance.
- All right, but if I... What the hell?
118
00:08:22,553 --> 00:08:24,841
Dimmer switch.
119
00:08:27,016 --> 00:08:30,965
I'm sorry. Too fabulous? I hate this place.
120
00:08:31,061 --> 00:08:35,474
I haven't even told you the best part.
Look at my commission cheque.
121
00:08:35,566 --> 00:08:39,267
Incredible. That is more
than Stan the Man makes in a month.
122
00:08:39,362 --> 00:08:41,437
And that's just for one house.
123
00:08:41,530 --> 00:08:47,782
You have been emasculated by the superior
earning power of your little Hausfrau.
124
00:08:51,415 --> 00:08:54,784
God. Stud. Stud. Hit the stud.
125
00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:03,174
- Well, you're in a pickle here.
- I agree. In a relationship, money is power.
126
00:09:03,261 --> 00:09:06,345
This is just a bump in the road.
Francine's like a puppy.
127
00:09:06,430 --> 00:09:09,716
She's having fun chewing her new bone,
selling a few houses,
128
00:09:09,809 --> 00:09:13,936
but she'll get bored and go back to ironing
and scooting her ass on the carpet.
129
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:18,233
- Open your eyes. Your manhood is at stake.
- That's crazy.
130
00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:21,852
Is it? When my wife started working,
I didn't think twice.
131
00:09:21,946 --> 00:09:26,524
But she kept earning more and more money
and then one day, bam!
132
00:09:27,994 --> 00:09:31,612
And I didn't even get to say goodbye.
133
00:09:38,295 --> 00:09:41,961
Your manhood is at stake.
Your manhood is at stake. Your...
134
00:09:42,050 --> 00:09:44,256
We're not gonna car pool any more.
135
00:09:46,721 --> 00:09:51,050
Here's to Mom. She's finally cast off
the shackles of domestic servitude
136
00:09:51,142 --> 00:09:54,345
and realised her potential
as an independent woman.
137
00:09:54,437 --> 00:09:56,975
How would you like a punch in the face?
138
00:09:57,064 --> 00:10:00,398
I have a little surprise.
I bought you all presents.
139
00:10:00,485 --> 00:10:04,483
- A donation for my shelter.
- 50 bucks towards my GameStation.
140
00:10:04,573 --> 00:10:07,359
A tie? When do I ever wear a tie?
141
00:10:07,450 --> 00:10:11,400
- Thank you very much.
- You paid? You were going to the bathroom.
142
00:10:11,496 --> 00:10:14,283
- I did both.
- You can just do it all, can't you?
143
00:10:16,500 --> 00:10:19,786
Yeah, and we still need 100 bucks
for that GameStation.
144
00:10:19,879 --> 00:10:24,043
Don't worry, I have a plan.
Toshi, you have a video camera, right?
145
00:10:27,804 --> 00:10:30,971
Wow, that's a lot of words for "Of course".
146
00:10:31,057 --> 00:10:34,390
I get it. We can sell Toshi's camera
and get the money.
147
00:10:34,477 --> 00:10:39,638
Why do you always make everything so
complicated? The plan is quite simple really.
148
00:10:39,732 --> 00:10:43,433
Toshi will borrow a camcorder
from his parents.
149
00:10:43,528 --> 00:10:46,612
Meanwhile, Snot and I
will find some lovely ladies
150
00:10:46,698 --> 00:10:50,197
willing to "go wild"
in exchange for a little financial aid.
151
00:10:50,285 --> 00:10:53,653
We'll have ourselves a little photo shoot.
152
00:10:53,746 --> 00:10:59,701
After that, we make thousands of duplicates,
market the tapes on late-night cable TV.
153
00:10:59,794 --> 00:11:04,955
And then we retire and live out our days
playing video games.
154
00:11:08,303 --> 00:11:13,012
I wasn't sure about you fellas, but sometimes
you just wanna be around other men.
155
00:11:13,100 --> 00:11:16,764
- It's nice to meet you too.
- Yeah. Thanks for dropping in.
156
00:11:16,853 --> 00:11:21,978
I envy you guys. Just a couple
of unmarried studs enjoying life to the max.
157
00:11:22,067 --> 00:11:26,694
- Actually, Greg was married once.
- I was confused. Is that why you're here?
158
00:11:26,780 --> 00:11:29,022
It's strained between me and the missus.
159
00:11:29,115 --> 00:11:33,327
The balance of power in our relationship
has shifted and I don't like it.
160
00:11:33,412 --> 00:11:35,700
A healthy relationship is a partnership.
161
00:11:35,789 --> 00:11:38,956
Well, it's never equal.
Someone always ends up on top.
162
00:11:39,043 --> 00:11:41,913
- Yeah, but sometimes it's OK to switch.
- Really?
163
00:11:42,003 --> 00:11:45,539
- Down the line.
- I think I hear what you guys are saying.
164
00:11:45,632 --> 00:11:51,885
I'm the man and I have to reclaim the power
in my marriage. Hey, thanks, fellas.
165
00:11:53,307 --> 00:11:57,684
- Take a picture, why don't you?
- I'm being polite. It'd be rude not to look.
166
00:11:59,188 --> 00:12:04,562
Forgive me, Francine.
I'm only doing this to save our marriage.
167
00:12:05,444 --> 00:12:09,524
What am I thinking?
This is the woman I love.
168
00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:11,738
That's better.
169
00:12:11,825 --> 00:12:16,737
Dammit, I'm such a softie. There's gotta
be a better way to put her out of business.
170
00:12:18,290 --> 00:12:21,494
- Excuse me. Are you Francine's boss?
- Yes.
171
00:12:21,586 --> 00:12:25,333
- Go, go, go. You're all under arrest.
- For what?
172
00:12:25,422 --> 00:12:28,210
- Cocaine doughnuts.
- Those are powdered sugar.
173
00:12:28,301 --> 00:12:30,376
Put it in a rap song, jailbird.
174
00:12:30,469 --> 00:12:33,221
- This office is closed.
- What are you saying?
175
00:12:33,306 --> 00:12:35,879
I'm saying you're fired.
176
00:12:35,975 --> 00:12:38,300
For God's sake. Somebody pay Mr Trump.
177
00:12:40,980 --> 00:12:43,352
Sure we can use this house for our shoot?
178
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:46,857
I heard Mom say it's been on the market
so long, it's been forgotten.
179
00:12:46,944 --> 00:12:50,644
Eavesdropper.
You should respect her privacy.
180
00:12:50,739 --> 00:12:56,575
- We don't expose our breasts without beer.
- Got ya covered.
181
00:12:59,790 --> 00:13:02,328
What?
182
00:13:02,418 --> 00:13:05,918
We are going neither wild nor totally wild
at a shelter.
183
00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:08,293
But we are taking your beer.
184
00:13:08,382 --> 00:13:11,218
You ruined everything.
What are you doing here?
185
00:13:11,302 --> 00:13:15,346
I'm giving these poor, forgotten people
a new lease on life.
186
00:13:15,431 --> 00:13:18,183
I think Phil is dead.
187
00:13:23,356 --> 00:13:29,110
- Now we'll never get a GameStation.
- Au contraire, my dear Snot.
188
00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:33,106
Hey, honey, I just heard the news.
189
00:13:33,199 --> 00:13:37,528
Too bad about your office. Looks like
I'm making more money than you again.
190
00:13:37,620 --> 00:13:42,413
I'd advise you to write an offer soon.
Mortgage rates won't stay this low forever.
191
00:13:42,500 --> 00:13:48,171
- That's real-estate chatter.
- She's closing a duplex at 4% over list.
192
00:13:48,256 --> 00:13:51,257
Francine, what the hell is going on?
You were fired.
193
00:13:51,342 --> 00:13:55,043
That's passive past tense, Trump.
You don't own that.
194
00:13:55,138 --> 00:14:00,049
Stan, I'm on the phone. Sorry, Randy. I'm
working out of my home office these days.
195
00:14:00,143 --> 00:14:02,515
- Here you go, boss.
- "Boss"?
196
00:14:02,604 --> 00:14:06,436
I'm Ms Smith's assistant.
Can I get you something while you wait?
197
00:14:06,525 --> 00:14:09,311
- A bottled water.
- It's not cold. Is that all right?
198
00:14:09,402 --> 00:14:11,690
Forget it.
199
00:14:11,780 --> 00:14:14,484
- Fran Smith and Associate.
- Hold her calls.
200
00:14:14,574 --> 00:14:18,786
- Francine, stop this nonsense.
- Nonsense? This job is my career.
201
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:22,405
My job is a career.
This is just some silly housewife's hobby.
202
00:14:22,498 --> 00:14:25,868
Yeah? Well this silly housewife
loves her hobby.
203
00:14:25,961 --> 00:14:28,997
She's good at it. In fact, she kicks ass.
204
00:14:29,088 --> 00:14:34,000
- So her husband will just have to deal with it.
- I could've assassinated you.
205
00:14:34,094 --> 00:14:35,552
- What?
- Nothing.
206
00:14:39,766 --> 00:14:43,716
- It was my house first.
- You can't stand in the way of progress.
207
00:14:43,812 --> 00:14:45,436
Hey. What's going on?
208
00:14:45,522 --> 00:14:48,938
Steve's making the homeless men
beat each other senseless.
209
00:14:49,026 --> 00:14:52,359
It's called bum fights.
I'll make a fortune on tickets.
210
00:14:52,445 --> 00:14:56,444
It's exploitation. You're making money
off their pain and misery.
211
00:14:56,533 --> 00:14:59,949
All right, I'll handle this.
Let me get this straight, son.
212
00:15:00,036 --> 00:15:04,663
You're pitting desperate, downtrodden men
against one another for profit?
213
00:15:04,749 --> 00:15:07,370
- Yes, sir.
- I'm in.
214
00:15:14,510 --> 00:15:16,965
- What the hell is going on here?
- Ask Dad.
215
00:15:17,054 --> 00:15:20,803
He stole my bum fights idea.
He won't even give me a piece of the action.
216
00:15:20,891 --> 00:15:23,560
I want this to be a class act.
I introduce you both.
217
00:15:23,643 --> 00:15:28,057
I throw raw meat on the floor. Whoever
beats the crap out of the other gets to eat.
218
00:15:28,148 --> 00:15:31,980
You were supposed to shut this down.
You're degrading these men.
219
00:15:32,068 --> 00:15:37,489
I'm giving them jobs and self-esteem.
I'm giving them costumes and a back story.
220
00:15:37,574 --> 00:15:41,074
This is the Garbage Collector.
He's got his own catchphrase:
221
00:15:41,161 --> 00:15:44,115
"I'm taking out the trash and sorting it."
222
00:15:44,206 --> 00:15:50,244
And this guy, he grew up in the bayou, living
with alligators, wrestling with alligators.
223
00:15:50,337 --> 00:15:52,911
I call him the Aviator.
224
00:15:53,007 --> 00:15:57,752
Fight night's already sold out.
I set up a ring, fans can make bets.
225
00:15:57,845 --> 00:15:59,921
I even put out some nice mixed nuts.
226
00:16:00,014 --> 00:16:02,551
No. Those are for people.
227
00:16:02,641 --> 00:16:06,141
I can't believe you muscled out
your own son. You stink, Dad.
228
00:16:06,228 --> 00:16:10,440
What's more important - your hopes
and dreams, or me making more than Mom?
229
00:16:10,524 --> 00:16:14,224
- This is pure exploitation. I'm telling Mom.
- Go ahead.
230
00:16:14,319 --> 00:16:18,567
Your pals will be back on the street,
where nights are cold and fights meatless.
231
00:16:18,657 --> 00:16:21,148
This isn't over.
232
00:16:23,746 --> 00:16:27,958
Yeah. It's been that kind of week, girlfriend.
But, hey, TGI hump day.
233
00:16:28,042 --> 00:16:32,502
- Roger, who are you talking to?
- Tammy at Mencer Escrow, my phone buddy.
234
00:16:32,588 --> 00:16:35,293
Did you copy those title reports?
235
00:16:35,383 --> 00:16:40,091
Tams, I gotta go. Yeah, the boss
is being a real Catch U Next Tuesday.
236
00:16:40,180 --> 00:16:45,173
Stan the Man is back. Here. Just my little way
of saying you can keep your little job.
237
00:16:45,267 --> 00:16:48,185
- A diamond ring?
- I also got you a mink stole.
238
00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:51,853
My God. But, Stan, can we afford this?
239
00:16:51,940 --> 00:16:54,977
- Well, you can't, but I can.
- But how did you get...
240
00:16:55,069 --> 00:16:58,319
Smile for LeRoy Neiman.
He's painting us right now.
241
00:16:58,405 --> 00:17:01,442
- That's LeRoy Neiman?
- I thought he was black too.
242
00:17:02,535 --> 00:17:05,785
I've got to hand it to you, Dad.
You really pulled it off.
243
00:17:05,872 --> 00:17:08,197
Or did you?
244
00:17:11,169 --> 00:17:16,673
- You unionised the homeless?
- Yup. This is the fighting bums local 302.
245
00:17:16,757 --> 00:17:18,834
Yeah.
246
00:17:19,886 --> 00:17:23,635
- Here are our demands.
- "Longer red lights at freeway off-ramps,
247
00:17:23,723 --> 00:17:27,673
free doggy daycare, human dignity."
I can't meet these demands.
248
00:17:27,768 --> 00:17:31,683
Then start refunding money,
cos there won't be any fights tonight.
249
00:17:31,773 --> 00:17:34,607
- No. You can't take my money.
- Don't sweat it.
250
00:17:34,692 --> 00:17:39,484
I found a bum willing to scab. All you
gotta do is dress up like a bum and fight him.
251
00:17:39,572 --> 00:17:45,776
You're a life-saver. All right, where's the bum
stupid enough to step into a ring with me?
252
00:17:46,996 --> 00:17:49,618
- Who the hell is that?
- He doesn't have a name.
253
00:17:49,708 --> 00:17:53,705
- What do you mean?
- He killed his own name.
254
00:17:56,715 --> 00:18:01,840
My God. You couldn't get me the Aviator
or the Tickler or Pillow-Hands McGraw?
255
00:18:01,928 --> 00:18:05,297
No way, not me. I ain't no scab.
256
00:18:06,516 --> 00:18:11,937
Dad, this is suicide. You're a weapons expert.
When did you last fight hand-to-hand?
257
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:16,979
You never forget how to fight -
it's like beating up a bicycle.
258
00:18:21,740 --> 00:18:24,195
Don't let it eat my heart.
259
00:18:29,998 --> 00:18:32,074
This is a wonderful starter home.
260
00:18:32,167 --> 00:18:36,994
- I've been saving it for a couple just like you.
- Soon we'll be more than a couple.
261
00:18:37,088 --> 00:18:40,173
Congratulations. I just thought you were fat.
262
00:18:40,258 --> 00:18:42,416
We're adopting.
263
00:18:42,510 --> 00:18:46,971
Let me show you the back yard.
It's the perfect place for a baby to play.
264
00:18:47,057 --> 00:18:49,808
My God.
265
00:18:49,893 --> 00:18:54,638
Stop it. Stan, what are you doing?
Leave my husband alone.
266
00:18:54,731 --> 00:18:57,436
Look. That bum's wife
has to jump in and save him.
267
00:18:57,526 --> 00:19:00,396
What a wuss.
268
00:19:15,794 --> 00:19:18,415
It's a knockout. My dad wins.
269
00:19:18,505 --> 00:19:21,210
I lost a pile of dough
on that one-thumbed psycho.
270
00:19:21,300 --> 00:19:23,672
Me too. Let's exit quickly.
271
00:19:24,428 --> 00:19:28,177
- I did it. I'm Stan the Man.
- Not really.
272
00:19:28,265 --> 00:19:31,800
We paid this guy to take a dive
then bet everything on you.
273
00:19:31,893 --> 00:19:34,100
So this whole thing was a setup?
274
00:19:34,188 --> 00:19:38,137
More of a performance piece.
Hi. Ted Fiedler, method actor.
275
00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:40,641
I'm also a hand model.
276
00:19:40,736 --> 00:19:43,653
No!
277
00:19:43,739 --> 00:19:46,942
- Stan, why did you do this?
- Money.
278
00:19:47,034 --> 00:19:49,703
You make more of it than me.
I'm a failure as a man.
279
00:19:49,787 --> 00:19:54,828
- You dope. Don't you get it? We're a team.
- I know, and you're the owner. I get it.
280
00:19:54,917 --> 00:19:59,579
No, Stan, we're equals.
We share everything, good and bad.
281
00:19:59,672 --> 00:20:02,163
You don't have to feel threatened by my job.
282
00:20:02,257 --> 00:20:07,797
- So, you mean when you succeed, I succeed?
- Exactly.
283
00:20:07,888 --> 00:20:10,759
I was gonna hitch a ride home,
but I bit my thumb off.
284
00:20:10,850 --> 00:20:13,056
- So use your other one.
- Right.
285
00:20:13,144 --> 00:20:15,848
Thanks. Hey, teach a man to fish, huh?
286
00:20:20,693 --> 00:20:22,900
I made you fresh coffee.
287
00:20:22,987 --> 00:20:25,229
Have a good day at work, partner.
288
00:20:26,073 --> 00:20:30,154
Interest rates went up by 20 points,
sending mortgage rates soaring.
289
00:20:30,244 --> 00:20:33,245
- Smart play locking in on that low fixed rate.
- Thank you.
290
00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:36,083
Finally learning his own self-worth.
291
00:20:36,167 --> 00:20:39,037
This hike by federal reserve chairman
Alan Greenspan
292
00:20:39,128 --> 00:20:43,956
has jeopardised the economy and put every
real estate agent in the country out of work.
293
00:20:44,050 --> 00:20:46,125
That's a shame. I'm sorry, hon.
294
00:20:46,218 --> 00:20:49,718
Can I keep this mouse pad?
I'm keeping this mouse pad.
295
00:20:49,806 --> 00:20:54,800
At least I had fun. And you learned there's
no need to be threatened by my success.
296
00:20:54,894 --> 00:20:58,428
Absolutely. Go, Team Smith.
297
00:20:59,607 --> 00:21:02,276
It's Stan. Release Greenspan's schnauzer.
298
00:21:02,360 --> 00:21:05,277
Fanny May.
299
00:21:05,362 --> 00:21:09,111
- That's all for this morning. See you at noon.
- And I'll see you tonight.
300
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,486
- Greg.
- Relax. Everybody knows.
27546
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