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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,533 --> 00:00:15,773 Announcer: TOSH.O FEATURES 2 00:00:15,767 --> 00:00:22,497 VIDEOS FROM THE INTERNET AND IS 3 00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,800 FOR A MATURE AUDIENCE. 4 00:00:24,800 --> 00:00:25,900 ENJOY. 5 00:00:40,367 --> 00:00:41,127 [LAUGHING] 6 00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:41,603 >> OKAY. 7 00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:41,970 >> MMMMM. 8 00:00:41,967 --> 00:00:42,367 [LAUGHING] 9 00:00:42,367 --> 00:00:49,497 * 10 00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:50,870 >> MMM. PUT A LITTLE MORE 11 00:00:50,867 --> 00:00:52,427 MUSTARD ON THAT SLAP YOU CAN'T 12 00:00:52,433 --> 00:00:55,733 BE TRIED AS AN ADULT. 13 00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:56,503 THIS WEEK'S COLLEGIATE APPAREL 14 00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,170 IS FROM BREVARD COMMUNITY 15 00:00:57,167 --> 00:00:58,367 COLLEGE WHERE I SPENT ONE 16 00:00:58,367 --> 00:01:00,427 SEMESTER. 17 00:01:00,433 --> 00:01:01,373 IT WAS JUST LIKE THE SHOW 18 00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:04,467 COMMUNITY NOT FUNNY AT ALL. 19 00:01:04,467 --> 00:01:05,797 TONIGHT'S PROGRAM THIS HILLBILLY 20 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:09,470 GETS A WEB REDEMPTION, I 21 00:01:09,467 --> 00:01:18,227 INTRODUCE TO YOU MY FAVORITE 22 00:01:18,233 --> 00:01:18,973 COACH AND WE MAKE SOME INSANE 23 00:01:18,967 --> 00:01:19,397 PROCLAMATIONS. 24 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,130 NOW LET'S SEE HOW COLD AND FLU 25 00:01:20,133 --> 00:01:21,333 SEASON STARTED THIS YEAR. 26 00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:22,133 THERE ARE A LOT WORST HOLES THAT 27 00:01:22,133 --> 00:01:22,733 FINGER COULD OF BEEN IN. 28 00:01:22,733 --> 00:01:23,403 THE 2 AND THE 5 HOLE TO BE 29 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:28,700 SPECIFIC. 30 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,070 [LAUGHING] 31 00:01:30,067 --> 00:01:30,767 >> SAMMIE AND RONNIE HAVE BEEN 32 00:01:30,767 --> 00:01:31,427 GOING AT IT SINCE THEY WERE 33 00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:32,373 KIDS. 34 00:01:32,367 --> 00:01:35,567 SHOULD OF SLAPPED HIS PARENTS 35 00:01:35,567 --> 00:01:36,827 FOR GIVING HIM THOSE EARS. 36 00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:37,773 NEVER MIND GO BACK TO PUTTING 37 00:01:37,767 --> 00:01:38,427 SUNGLASSES ON THE 2-LITER, 38 00:01:38,433 --> 00:01:40,273 WEIRDO. 39 00:01:40,267 --> 00:01:41,067 LET'S HEAD DOWN TO MY FAVORITE 40 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:49,097 FISHING HOLE. 41 00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:55,170 [LAUGHING] 42 00:01:55,167 --> 00:01:56,397 >> THE CATCH OF THE DAY IS THIS 43 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,330 CHICK'S SLOPPY FLOUNDER. 44 00:01:59,333 --> 00:02:00,133 QUIT MOANING YOU WILL SCARE THE 45 00:02:00,133 --> 00:02:02,333 FISH AWAY. 46 00:02:02,333 --> 00:02:04,133 I'M FINE WITH EVERYTHING HERE 47 00:02:04,133 --> 00:02:10,073 BUT HER CREEPY FATHER WATCHING. 48 00:02:10,067 --> 00:02:10,797 NEW YORK CITY IS FULL OF DIRTY 49 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:11,300 COPS. 50 00:02:11,300 --> 00:02:11,800 * 51 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:18,630 * 52 00:02:18,633 --> 00:02:20,373 [LAUGHING] 53 00:02:20,367 --> 00:02:21,167 >> THE DA IS GOING TO HAVE A 54 00:02:21,167 --> 00:02:24,227 FIELD DAY WITH THIS ONE. 55 00:02:24,233 --> 00:02:25,073 AH, YA, HE'S HERE TO PROTECT AND 56 00:02:25,067 --> 00:02:25,867 SERVE THAT ASS. 57 00:02:25,867 --> 00:02:27,897 [LAUGHING] 58 00:02:27,900 --> 00:02:28,700 >> THAT'S HOW YOU GET NYPD BLUE 59 00:02:28,700 --> 00:02:31,600 BALLS. 60 00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:32,330 WASN'T AS SEXY WHEN THEY DANCED 61 00:02:32,333 --> 00:02:33,373 WITH RODNEY KING. 62 00:02:33,367 --> 00:02:35,697 [LAUGHING] 63 00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:37,630 [LAUGHING] 64 00:02:37,633 --> 00:02:38,403 >> AS MOST OF YOU KNOW I'M A 65 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:40,430 VOLUNTEER COP. 66 00:02:40,433 --> 00:02:41,433 WOULDN'T YOU KNOW IT I GOT STUCK 67 00:02:41,433 --> 00:02:42,133 WORKING THE WHITE PARADE THIS 68 00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:42,773 YEAR. 69 00:02:42,767 --> 00:02:43,467 [LAUGHING] 70 00:02:43,467 --> 00:03:01,597 * 71 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:03,070 [LAUGHING] 72 00:03:03,067 --> 00:03:03,767 >> I'M GET TOO LONG OLD FOR THIS 73 00:03:03,767 --> 00:03:05,397 [BEEP]. 74 00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:06,230 SOMETHING TELLS ME THIS NEXT 75 00:03:06,233 --> 00:03:09,633 GIRL ISN'T CLARITIN CLEAR. 76 00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:12,673 >> GOD BLESS YOU, GESUNDHEIT, 77 00:03:12,667 --> 00:03:14,067 EXCUSE YOU, PARDON ME, PEACE BE 78 00:03:14,067 --> 00:03:15,797 WITH YOU, AND ALSO WITH YOU, 79 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:17,470 AMEN, WHOOP THERE IT IS, JUST DO 80 00:03:17,467 --> 00:03:20,297 IT, WAR EAGLE, OKAY THEN, PLEASE 81 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:23,530 STOP NOW, SHAZAM, IS THAT POW, 82 00:03:23,533 --> 00:03:31,473 SALUD, YOU'RE SO GOOD LOOKING, 83 00:03:31,467 --> 00:03:33,367 LIVE STRONG, HEY OH, I HATE YOU. 84 00:03:33,367 --> 00:03:34,097 >> I THINK HER SWEATSHIRT IS 85 00:03:34,100 --> 00:03:36,500 MADE OF CAT HAIR. 86 00:03:36,500 --> 00:03:43,070 [LAUGHING] 87 00:03:43,067 --> 00:03:43,797 MAYBE SHE HAS A HEAVY METAL SONG 88 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:44,330 STUCK IN HER HEAD 89 00:03:44,333 --> 00:03:53,073 * 90 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:53,797 I DON'T KNOW THE WORDS TO THAT 91 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:54,500 SONG. 92 00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:55,270 I DON'T NEED TO KNOW THIS WOMEN 93 00:03:55,267 --> 00:03:55,827 I KNOW I HATE HER. 94 00:03:55,833 --> 00:03:56,273 >> OKAY OKAY. 95 00:03:56,267 --> 00:03:56,667 OH MY GOSH, 96 00:03:56,667 --> 00:03:57,067 OH MY GOSH, 97 00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:57,867 OH MY GOSH, 98 00:03:57,867 --> 00:04:14,197 OH MY GOSH,. 99 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:14,970 >> WHAT COULB BE SPOOKING THAT 100 00:04:14,967 --> 00:04:15,797 HORSE? 101 00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:16,470 >> OKAY OKAY. 102 00:04:16,467 --> 00:04:17,897 OH MY GOSH, 103 00:04:17,900 --> 00:04:18,500 RUN, EDDIE RUN! 104 00:04:18,500 --> 00:04:18,970 RUN, RUN! 105 00:04:18,967 --> 00:04:20,597 >> RUN? 106 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:21,570 DOES SHE THINK HORSES EXPLODE 107 00:04:21,567 --> 00:04:23,597 WHEN THEY FALL OVER? 108 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,330 OH. 109 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:26,233 >> AHH! 110 00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:27,833 [LAUGHING] 111 00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:28,573 >> WAIT UNTIL SHE SEES A BLACK 112 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:31,327 PERSON IN CENTRAL PARK. 113 00:04:31,333 --> 00:04:35,803 [LAUGHING] 114 00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:36,570 >> SHE REACTS THE SAME WAY WHEN 115 00:04:36,567 --> 00:04:37,197 THE CHEESECAKE FACTORY IS 116 00:04:37,200 --> 00:04:37,600 CLOSED. 117 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:38,170 WHAT'S NEXT? 118 00:04:38,167 --> 00:04:44,097 [LAUGHING] 119 00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:44,870 >> POOR KID HE MISSED THE TRAIN 120 00:04:44,867 --> 00:04:45,797 TO HOGWARTS. 121 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:46,330 >> WHOSE NEXT? 122 00:04:46,333 --> 00:04:54,073 OH, ALRIGHT. 123 00:04:54,067 --> 00:04:54,797 LET'S SEE IF HIS BIG FAT BROTHER 124 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:55,630 CAN DO ANY BETTER IN THIS WEEK'S 125 00:04:55,633 --> 00:04:57,203 BREAKDOWN. 126 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,300 [ APPLAUSE ] 127 00:04:58,300 --> 00:04:59,400 >> OKAY IF YOUR NICKNAME IS 128 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:00,430 CHUBS MAYBE JUMPING A RAMP 129 00:05:00,433 --> 00:05:01,073 SHOULDN'T BE YOUR RECESS 130 00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:01,927 ACTIVITY. 131 00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:02,703 THAT'S WHY GOD INVENTED 132 00:05:02,700 --> 00:05:05,300 COMPUTERS AND TRUMPETS. 133 00:05:05,300 --> 00:05:08,500 [ APPLAUSE ] 134 00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:09,300 >> HE HAS BEEN CARBO LOADING HIS 135 00:05:09,300 --> 00:05:11,600 WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS MOMENT. 136 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:13,230 PRETTY GOOD HEAD OF STEAM. 137 00:05:13,233 --> 00:05:14,073 FAT PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS ABOUT TO 138 00:05:14,067 --> 00:05:15,067 DIE. 139 00:05:15,067 --> 00:05:16,597 [LAUGHING] 140 00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:19,570 >> OH ... 141 00:05:19,567 --> 00:05:21,467 ET COULDN'T OF HELPED THAT BIG 142 00:05:21,467 --> 00:05:22,167 BONE BOY GET BIG AIR ON A BMX 143 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:25,367 BIKE. 144 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:28,567 [LAUGHING] 145 00:05:28,567 --> 00:05:29,327 >> CHILDHOOD OBESITY CLAIMS IT'S 146 00:05:29,333 --> 00:05:31,133 LATEST VICTIM. 147 00:05:31,133 --> 00:05:34,073 [LAUGHING] 148 00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:34,797 >> SOMETHING TELLS ME TODAY IS 149 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:35,500 NOT THE DAY HE STOPS GETTING 150 00:05:35,500 --> 00:05:36,230 TEASED AND WINS THE RESPECT OF 151 00:05:36,233 --> 00:05:36,873 HIS PEERS. 152 00:05:36,867 --> 00:05:37,897 HAVE FUN EATING ENORMOUS 153 00:05:37,900 --> 00:05:38,630 PORTIONS OF LUNCH BY YOURSELF. 154 00:05:38,633 --> 00:05:48,503 [LAUGHING] 155 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:49,300 >> OH, I HOPE IT'S NOT HIS ICE 156 00:05:49,300 --> 00:05:51,570 CREAM SUNDAE EATING ARM. 157 00:05:51,567 --> 00:06:03,627 ON THE BRIGHT SIDE HE CAN REACH 158 00:06:03,633 --> 00:06:08,733 INTO THE TRAP DOOR OF SNACK 159 00:06:08,733 --> 00:06:09,973 MACHINE IN THE CONTINENTAL US. 160 00:06:09,967 --> 00:06:10,727 GET A BLACK CAST SO IT WON'T BE 161 00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:13,403 OBVIOUS WHEN SOMEONE SIGNS IT. 162 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:14,530 >> MY ARM! 163 00:06:14,533 --> 00:06:15,203 >> WE'RE GLAD HE'S DRINKING 164 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:15,930 CHOCOLATE MILK SO HIS BONES ARE 165 00:06:15,933 --> 00:06:16,633 AS BRITTLE AS THE ABILITY TO 166 00:06:16,633 --> 00:06:17,203 RESIST CAKE. 167 00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:19,600 FOR THAT WE THANK YOU. 168 00:06:19,600 --> 00:06:31,430 WE WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH A 169 00:06:31,433 --> 00:06:32,173 HILLY BILLY STUNTMAN BUT FIRST 170 00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:32,897 HERE IS HOW YOU SAVE A ROW OF 171 00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:33,400 SEATS ON A SUBWAY. 172 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:33,800 [LAUGHING] 173 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:35,100 [LAUGHING] 174 00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:40,900 [ APPLAUSE ] 175 00:06:40,900 --> 00:06:44,630 >> I GOT AN ANTIDEPRESSANT 176 00:06:44,633 --> 00:06:52,873 BOTTLE FULL OF THUMBTACKS. 177 00:06:57,967 --> 00:07:06,897 (OH! ) 178 00:07:06,900 --> 00:07:10,970 >> YOU CAUGHT THIS ONE ON 179 00:07:10,967 --> 00:07:14,367 YOUTUBE AND POSSIBLY MYSPACE. 180 00:07:14,367 --> 00:07:18,127 [BEEP] 181 00:07:18,133 --> 00:07:20,833 >> PUT THE WOOD OUT. 182 00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:21,203 [LAUGHING] 183 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,570 >> THE GOOD THING ABOUT BEING 184 00:07:22,567 --> 00:07:24,067 POOR IS IT'S HARD TO KILL 185 00:07:24,067 --> 00:07:26,067 YOURSELF FROM A ONE-STORY 186 00:07:26,067 --> 00:07:26,667 TRAILER. 187 00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:28,567 THAT'S WILD CHILD BENNY SMALLS. 188 00:07:28,567 --> 00:07:30,927 AN AMATEUR STUNTMAN FROM 189 00:07:30,933 --> 00:07:31,303 KENTUCKY. 190 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:33,070 AN EYE DEAL JOB FOR A HILLBILLY. 191 00:07:33,067 --> 00:07:34,327 IT'S THE ONLY CAREER IN THE 192 00:07:34,333 --> 00:07:36,903 WORLD WHERE THE LESS EDUCATION 193 00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:38,900 YOU HAVE THE MORE QUALIFIED YOU 194 00:07:38,900 --> 00:07:39,330 ARE. 195 00:07:39,333 --> 00:07:41,433 STUNT PEOPLE AREN'T GOOD LOCKING 196 00:07:41,433 --> 00:07:43,073 ENOUGH TO BE IN FRONT OF THE 197 00:07:43,067 --> 00:07:44,897 CAMERA YOU THINK JOHNNY DEPP IS 198 00:07:44,900 --> 00:07:47,300 DOING HIS OWN STUNTS. 199 00:07:47,300 --> 00:07:51,400 IF YOU'RE A STUNTMAN BE AWARE 200 00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:52,830 PRODUCTION WOULDN'T SKIP A BEAT 201 00:07:52,833 --> 00:07:54,273 IF YOU WERE BURNED ALIVE. 202 00:07:54,267 --> 00:07:56,527 TOM CRUISE IS KNOWN FOR DOING 203 00:07:56,533 --> 00:07:57,773 HIS OWN STUNTS. 204 00:07:57,767 --> 00:08:00,867 WAY TO GO HE WORE GREENSPAN DEX 205 00:08:00,867 --> 00:08:04,167 AND FELL THREE FEET ON A GREEN 206 00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:05,127 PAD. 207 00:08:05,133 --> 00:08:07,603 I GUESS HANGING WITH BUFF DUDES 208 00:08:07,600 --> 00:08:10,070 IS BETTER THAN HANGING WITH YOUR 209 00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:11,597 HETEROSEXUAL WIFE IN THE 210 00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:12,070 TRAILER. 211 00:08:12,067 --> 00:08:14,797 WE CAN MAKE RYAN REYNOLDS ABLE 212 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:17,730 H. FLY BUT CAN'T MAKE A MOVIE 213 00:08:17,733 --> 00:08:20,973 HE'S IN WATCHABLE. 214 00:08:20,967 --> 00:08:28,267 EVE HE WILL KENWATCHABLE. 215 00:08:28,267 --> 00:08:31,097 EVEL KNIEVEL -- 216 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:33,600 IF HE WANTS TO BRAKE EVERY BONE 217 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:37,470 IN HIS BODY WHO AM I TO STOP 218 00:08:37,467 --> 00:08:37,797 HIM. 219 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,230 THAT'S WHY I TOOK OUT A 220 00:08:40,233 --> 00:08:43,233 INSURANCE POLICY IN HIS NAME AND 221 00:08:43,233 --> 00:08:45,473 INVITED HIM TO THE TRAILER FOR 222 00:08:45,467 --> 00:08:47,567 THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION. 223 00:08:47,567 --> 00:08:51,397 >> SHUT THE [BEEP] UP, MOM. 224 00:08:51,400 --> 00:08:53,500 >> WELCOME TO LOT G AND A HALF. 225 00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:55,070 >> THANK YOU, DOING A LITTLE 226 00:08:55,067 --> 00:08:55,397 COOKING. 227 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:56,130 >> METH IS DONE. 228 00:08:56,133 --> 00:08:59,273 I HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR METH UNDER 229 00:08:59,267 --> 00:09:02,397 BAKED. 230 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:03,900 >> WHERE YOU FROM? 231 00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:05,130 >> KENTUCKY. 232 00:09:05,133 --> 00:09:06,973 >> WHERE IN KEN DEN? 233 00:09:06,967 --> 00:09:08,727 >> HORSE BRANCH. 234 00:09:08,733 --> 00:09:10,433 >> BIG LIBERAL CITY. 235 00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:11,733 >> FULL OF HIPPIES. 236 00:09:11,733 --> 00:09:14,473 >> ARE A STUNTMAN? 237 00:09:14,467 --> 00:09:15,927 >> NO, I DON'T THINK . SO. 238 00:09:15,933 --> 00:09:20,473 >> HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING 239 00:09:20,467 --> 00:09:21,197 THIS. 240 00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:23,070 >> ABOUT 13, 14. 241 00:09:23,067 --> 00:09:25,727 >> HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW? 242 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:26,133 >> 27. 243 00:09:26,133 --> 00:09:27,273 >> YOU HAVE OVER TEN YEARS IN 244 00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:28,567 THE GAME. 245 00:09:28,567 --> 00:09:29,067 >> 13. 246 00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:29,827 >> HOLY COULD YOU. 247 00:09:29,833 --> 00:09:31,473 TELL ME WHAT YOU WERE DOING THAT 248 00:09:31,467 --> 00:09:31,797 DAY. 249 00:09:31,800 --> 00:09:36,770 >> THAT STUNT WAS TWO CONCRETE 250 00:09:36,767 --> 00:09:41,267 BLOCKS AND MORE WITH THUMBTACKS. 251 00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:43,727 HOPPED OFF MY PARENTS HOUSE. 252 00:09:43,733 --> 00:09:45,933 >> THE CYNDER BLOCKS WENT UP IN 253 00:09:45,933 --> 00:09:48,903 THE AIR CARTOON STYLE ON YOUR 254 00:09:48,900 --> 00:09:49,400 HEAD. 255 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:52,330 >> THE FIRST BOARD BROKE, IT WAS 256 00:09:52,333 --> 00:09:54,603 A CATAPULT EFFECT. 257 00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,370 I HAD 15 STAPLES HERE. 258 00:09:56,367 --> 00:09:58,127 >> DO YOU HAVE MEDICAL 259 00:09:58,133 --> 00:09:58,503 INSURANCE? 260 00:09:58,500 --> 00:09:58,900 >> NO. 261 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:00,830 >> YOU GO OUT OF POCKET? 262 00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:03,073 >> GO OUT OF POCKET OR TOSS THE 263 00:10:03,067 --> 00:10:04,197 BILLS IN THE TRASH, WHATEVER. 264 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,000 >> DO YOU HAVE A DAY JOB. 265 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,470 >> I GOT KICKED OUT OF THE 266 00:10:08,467 --> 00:10:08,927 MILITARY. 267 00:10:08,933 --> 00:10:09,803 >> WHAT FOR. 268 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,930 >> SMOKING THE GANGE. 269 00:10:11,933 --> 00:10:14,273 >> DO YOUR PARENTS MIND YOU 270 00:10:14,267 --> 00:10:15,067 JUMPING OFF THE ROOF. 271 00:10:15,067 --> 00:10:17,627 >> NOT IF IT MAKES A LEAK. 272 00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:19,703 BEYOND THAT THEY DON'T MIND. 273 00:10:19,700 --> 00:10:22,900 SINCE I WAS 13, 14 THEY 274 00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:23,730 ENCOURAGE IT DID. 275 00:10:23,733 --> 00:10:25,533 >> MORE ENJOYABLE THAN WATCHING 276 00:10:25,533 --> 00:10:27,533 YOUR KIDS PLAY A BASEBALL GAME. 277 00:10:27,533 --> 00:10:28,133 >> OF COURSE. 278 00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:30,873 >> MY KID IS JUMPING OFF THE 279 00:10:30,867 --> 00:10:34,297 ROOF INTO A FLAMING PILE OF 280 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:34,630 BOARDS. 281 00:10:34,633 --> 00:10:39,573 >> A FRIEND SAYS TIME HIT A 282 00:10:39,567 --> 00:10:39,897 HOMERUN. 283 00:10:39,900 --> 00:10:42,030 BEN SET HIMSELF ON FIRE WHO IS 284 00:10:42,033 --> 00:10:42,403 COOLER. 285 00:10:42,400 --> 00:10:45,130 >> TIME IS 6. 286 00:10:45,133 --> 00:10:46,333 BEN IS 27. 287 00:10:46,333 --> 00:10:47,903 I GET WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 288 00:10:47,900 --> 00:10:52,570 >> HOW MANY FLARES COULD YOU 289 00:10:52,567 --> 00:10:55,427 TAKE TO THE CHEST? 290 00:10:55,433 --> 00:10:56,203 >> BACK TO BACK. 291 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:58,830 >> HALF A DOZEN. 292 00:10:58,833 --> 00:10:59,603 >> TWENTY. 293 00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:00,530 >> TWENTY? 294 00:11:00,533 --> 00:11:02,103 >> TWENTY I CAN TAKE. 295 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,630 >> WHAT IS THE MOST SERIOUS 296 00:11:03,633 --> 00:11:05,773 INJURY YOU HAD. 297 00:11:05,767 --> 00:11:06,867 >> STITCHES HERE. 298 00:11:06,867 --> 00:11:09,067 >> DOES THAT GIVE YOU ACCESS TO 299 00:11:09,067 --> 00:11:09,797 BETTER PARKING? 300 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:11,870 >> TUZ DIDN'T CAN'T LEAVE IT IN 301 00:11:11,867 --> 00:11:13,667 HE CAR.T 302 00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:17,467 >> WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE STUNT 303 00:11:17,467 --> 00:11:18,627 IN A MOVIE. 304 00:11:18,633 --> 00:11:21,403 >> FULL BODY BURN IN JASON. 305 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,330 ANYONE FALLING THROUGH A GREEN 306 00:11:23,333 --> 00:11:23,633 HOUSE. 307 00:11:23,633 --> 00:11:30,133 >> MY FAVORITE IS ANY MOVIE THAT 308 00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:32,233 CAMERON DIAZ IS IN AND THEY MAKE 309 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,333 HER LOOK ATTRACTIVE. 310 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:36,373 WHAT ARE YOUR STUNT ADVICE? 311 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,697 >> YOU GO BIG AND SCREW UP AND 312 00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:39,800 NEVER TRY IT AGAIN. 313 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,400 >> WHAT IS TOO YOUNG TO JUMP 314 00:11:42,400 --> 00:11:43,370 INTO FIRE. 315 00:11:43,367 --> 00:11:44,897 >> 7 AND UNDER. 316 00:11:44,900 --> 00:11:46,930 >> 8 YEAR OLDS SEND YOUR VIDEO. 317 00:11:46,933 --> 00:11:47,373 IN. 318 00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:49,667 >> YOU WANT TO BE A STUNTMAN. 319 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,397 I NEED A STUNT DOUBLE. 320 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:53,370 I'M TOO FAMOUS TO TAKE THESE 321 00:11:53,367 --> 00:11:54,967 RISKS EVERY DAY. 322 00:11:54,967 --> 00:11:55,567 YOU INTERESTED. 323 00:11:55,567 --> 00:11:56,497 >> I'M INTERESTED. 324 00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,100 LET'S DO IT. 325 00:11:57,100 --> 00:11:59,230 >> YOU LOOK HANDSOME. 326 00:11:59,233 --> 00:12:01,133 NOBODY WILL TELL THE DIFFERENCE. 327 00:12:01,133 --> 00:12:04,773 THE FIRST IS DANGEROUS. 328 00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,367 DODGING AIDS. 329 00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:09,327 SOME OF THEM ARE VERY DIRTY AND 330 00:12:09,333 --> 00:12:10,903 I'M NOT GOING TO RISK IT. 331 00:12:10,900 --> 00:12:14,870 >> YOU TAKE IT EASY ON MY STUNT 332 00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:15,197 DOUBLE. 333 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:19,330 LET ME KNOW WHEN IT'S HIS TURN. 334 00:12:19,333 --> 00:12:21,403 >> YOUR NEXT STUNT IS TO TALK TO 335 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,070 MY MOTHER. 336 00:12:22,067 --> 00:12:23,567 >> HEY, MOM. 337 00:12:23,567 --> 00:12:25,167 I DON'T THINK IT'S WEIRD THAT A 338 00:12:25,167 --> 00:12:27,097 MAN IN HIS 30S ISN'T MARRIED 339 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:27,370 YET. 340 00:12:27,367 --> 00:12:28,067 >> IT'S NOT. 341 00:12:28,067 --> 00:12:31,067 >> HEY, TELL HER I FOUND A GOOD 342 00:12:31,067 --> 00:12:31,527 CHURCH. 343 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:32,803 >> SHE HUNG UP. 344 00:12:32,800 --> 00:12:33,100 [BEEP] 345 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:35,830 >> THAT'S WHY SHE'S [BEEP] 346 00:12:35,833 --> 00:12:41,533 >> PERFECT PUSH UPS 98, 99, 100. 347 00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:43,933 THESE WORKOUTS ARE GUILTYING 348 00:12:43,933 --> 00:12:44,333 EXHAUSTING. 349 00:12:44,333 --> 00:12:46,903 >> ONE MORE THING I NEED YOU TO 350 00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:47,230 DO. 351 00:12:47,233 --> 00:12:51,433 TO KEEP ME ON MY TOWED I LIKE TO 352 00:12:51,433 --> 00:12:53,973 JUMP TO A BURNING BOARD COVERED 353 00:12:53,967 --> 00:12:54,827 IN TACKS. 354 00:12:54,833 --> 00:12:55,473 >> OKAY. 355 00:12:55,467 --> 00:12:57,067 >> I'M NOT FINISHED. 356 00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:59,827 I LIKE TO DO IT COVERED WITH 357 00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:04,703 HONEY AFTER SHOTGUNNING A CAN OF 358 00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,230 JEREMIAH WEED AND MY COMEDY OF 359 00:13:07,233 --> 00:13:09,703 THE YEAR AWARD SHOVED UP MY ASS 360 00:13:09,700 --> 00:13:12,070 WHILE HOLDING A CHINESE BABY. 361 00:13:12,067 --> 00:13:14,197 >> THAT SOUNDS REASONABLE BUT 362 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,070 WHY ARE WHICH NAKED? 363 00:13:16,067 --> 00:13:17,727 >> THAT'S KIND OF MY THING. 364 00:13:17,733 --> 00:13:19,603 THAT IS A LONG NIPPLE HAIR. 365 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,600 IS THE COMEDY AWARD UP YOUR ASS? 366 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:22,400 >> YES. 367 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,630 >> ANOTHER SHOT? 368 00:13:23,633 --> 00:13:32,103 >> LET'S DO IT. 369 00:13:33,633 --> 00:13:37,103 * 370 00:13:37,100 --> 00:13:44,270 (LOTS OF NOISE) 371 00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:49,767 * (CELESTIAL MUSIC). 372 00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:51,467 >> DON'T PANIC. 373 00:13:51,467 --> 00:13:52,227 KEEP BURNING. 374 00:13:52,233 --> 00:13:53,573 I WILL BE RIGHT DOWN. 375 00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:54,967 GOOD JOB, GOOD JOB. 376 00:13:54,967 --> 00:13:56,897 >> IS THE BABY OKAY? 377 00:13:56,900 --> 00:13:57,670 >> WHO CARES. 378 00:13:57,667 --> 00:14:00,067 HOW IS MY COMEDY AWARD. 379 00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:00,797 [ APPLAUSE ] 380 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,200 >> THAT MOIETY BE THE PUREST 381 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,470 REMEMBER REDEMPTION I HAVE EVER 382 00:14:05,467 --> 00:14:05,827 DONE. 383 00:14:05,833 --> 00:14:07,673 THAT CRAZY ACTUALLY JUMPED OFF 384 00:14:07,667 --> 00:14:09,097 THE TRAILER. 385 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:16,570 IF BENNY TAUGHT ME ANYTHING A 386 00:14:16,567 --> 00:14:18,727 BODY DOUBLE PAILS TO THE REAL 387 00:14:18,733 --> 00:14:19,573 THING. 388 00:14:19,567 --> 00:14:20,067 RIGHT? 389 00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,767 DROP THE ROBE. 390 00:14:21,767 --> 00:14:23,897 OH, WE ALMOST MADE IT SORRY WE 391 00:14:23,900 --> 00:14:25,630 HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE TRAIN TO 392 00:14:25,633 --> 00:14:27,233 CROSS BEFORE WE CAN GO TO 393 00:14:27,233 --> 00:14:32,233 COMMERCIAL. 394 00:14:32,233 --> 00:14:32,773 (TRAIN) 395 00:14:32,767 --> 00:14:37,867 [LAUGHING] 396 00:14:37,867 --> 00:14:45,367 >> TRYING TO GET OUR BOYS READY. 397 00:14:45,367 --> 00:14:47,167 DOOR IS OPEN, SCREEN IS BROKE. 398 00:14:47,167 --> 00:14:48,967 WE NEED A NEW SCREEN DOOR. 399 00:14:48,967 --> 00:14:50,397 SCREEN IS BROKE. 400 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:52,070 YOU CAN COME IN BUT YOU CAN'T 401 00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:52,667 GUILTY OUT. 402 00:14:52,667 --> 00:14:54,527 I TURN AND LOOK A KITTY CAT IS 403 00:14:54,533 --> 00:14:55,733 IN THE KITCHEN. 404 00:14:55,733 --> 00:14:57,373 I SAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN 405 00:14:57,367 --> 00:14:58,367 HERE KITTY CAT. 406 00:14:58,367 --> 00:15:00,397 BY THAT TIME THE CAT TURNS AND 407 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:01,930 TRIES TO GET OUT. 408 00:15:01,933 --> 00:15:03,803 THE SCREEN WON'T GO THAT WAY. 409 00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,530 THE CAT GOES ALL CRAZY. 410 00:15:05,533 --> 00:15:07,803 I TOLD OUR PLAYERS WE NEED MORE 411 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:08,230 DOGS. 412 00:15:08,233 --> 00:15:10,903 BO IS BARKING IN THE BACK. 413 00:15:10,900 --> 00:15:12,170 MEL SAYS WHAT IS GOING ON. 414 00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:14,467 I SAY A CAT IS IN THE HOUSE. 415 00:15:14,467 --> 00:15:16,567 A CAT IN THE HOUSE? 416 00:15:16,567 --> 00:15:18,427 YES, A CAT IS IN THE HOUSE. 417 00:15:18,433 --> 00:15:20,203 THE CAT WAS STILL GOING CRAZY 418 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:20,570 IN. 419 00:15:20,567 --> 00:15:22,497 THERE I TOLD THE PLAYERS WE NEED 420 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:23,230 MORE DOGS. 421 00:15:23,233 --> 00:15:24,973 WHICH DON'T NEED A BUNCH OF CATS 422 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,467 IN HERE LOOKING IN THE MIRROR. 423 00:15:26,467 --> 00:15:27,227 I LOOK GOOD. 424 00:15:27,233 --> 00:15:29,133 I HAVE MY EXTRA BANDS ON. 425 00:15:29,133 --> 00:15:30,633 MY OTHER SHOES ON. 426 00:15:30,633 --> 00:15:31,873 BE A DOG. 427 00:15:31,867 --> 00:15:38,897 WE DON'T NEED KNOW MEOWS, WE 428 00:15:38,900 --> 00:15:40,870 DON'T NEED CATS WE NEED DOGS. 429 00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:46,897 >> THAT'S COACH DAVID BEN. 430 00:15:46,900 --> 00:15:48,730 YOU KNOW WHERE THIS WILL END UP. 431 00:15:48,733 --> 00:15:50,733 >> I TOLD THE PLAYERS YOU NEED 432 00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:52,633 TO BE MORE LIKE A DOG. 433 00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:54,873 >> COACH YOU NEED TO BE MORE 434 00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:55,267 AGGRESSIVE. 435 00:15:55,267 --> 00:15:57,227 >> BE A DOG. 436 00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:58,773 >> PIT BULLS ARE GOOD. 437 00:15:58,767 --> 00:16:04,127 PIT BULLS ARE FIERCE BUT THEY'RE 438 00:16:04,133 --> 00:16:04,473 INBRED. 439 00:16:04,467 --> 00:16:06,467 SHOULD HAVE SAID BE LIKE A 440 00:16:06,467 --> 00:16:06,797 MONKEY. 441 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,670 MONKEYS ARE STRONGER THAN HUMANS 442 00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:09,397 EVERYONE KNOWS THAT. 443 00:16:09,400 --> 00:16:11,730 >> NOT A GOOD IDEA TO CALL 444 00:16:11,733 --> 00:16:12,603 ATHLETES MONK HE'S. 445 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,730 >> WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PLAY THE 446 00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:15,333 RACE CARD. 447 00:16:15,333 --> 00:16:17,703 >> CAT IN THE HOUSE, CAT IN THE 448 00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,070 HOUSE. 449 00:16:18,067 --> 00:16:19,567 I SAID THERE IS A CAT IN THE 450 00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:19,927 HOUSE. 451 00:16:19,933 --> 00:16:21,773 >> WHAT IS WRONG WITH BEING A 452 00:16:21,767 --> 00:16:22,067 CAT. 453 00:16:22,067 --> 00:16:25,497 WHAT IF IT'S A CHEETAH OR LION. 454 00:16:25,500 --> 00:16:27,430 >> SMALLER CATS THAT DO THE 455 00:16:27,433 --> 00:16:28,833 KILLING LIKE A CHEETAH. 456 00:16:28,833 --> 00:16:31,473 THEN THE LIONS COME IN AND SCARE 457 00:16:31,467 --> 00:16:33,897 THE CHEETAH AWAY AND EAT. 458 00:16:33,900 --> 00:16:38,500 >> THE POINT IS COACH, ANY OF 459 00:16:38,500 --> 00:16:40,070 THESE WOULD SLAUGHTER A DOG. 460 00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:43,327 >> A [BEEP] LUNATIC. 461 00:16:43,333 --> 00:16:45,333 LET'S END THIS COMMERCIAL. 462 00:16:45,333 --> 00:16:45,903 AWFUL [BEEP]. 463 00:16:45,900 --> 00:16:48,570 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING LITTLE 464 00:16:48,567 --> 00:16:49,297 KITTY CAT. 465 00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:53,300 >> TRY TO MAKE IT TASTELESS LIKE 466 00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:53,770 [BEEP] 467 00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:59,227 INSTEAD OF A VORTEX VENT TO POUR 468 00:16:59,233 --> 00:17:01,133 IT DOWN FASTER. 469 00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,403 >> DIDN'T HEAR THE SILVER BULLET 470 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:03,900 TRAIN COMING. 471 00:17:03,900 --> 00:17:05,130 YOU HAVE TO BE A DOG. 472 00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:06,703 >> THAT'S THE THIRD TRAIN IN 473 00:17:06,700 --> 00:17:08,570 THIS EPISODE. 474 00:17:08,567 --> 00:17:10,397 CHOO CHOO LOCOMOTIVE FANS. 475 00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:11,500 CHOO CHOO FOR YOU. 476 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:14,530 DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR BLOG 477 00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,133 AND UP LOAD A CLIP. 478 00:17:16,133 --> 00:17:17,733 THIS COMES FROM THE MIDNIGHT 479 00:17:17,733 --> 00:17:20,103 SHOW. 480 00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:20,870 >> ALEX. 481 00:17:20,867 --> 00:17:22,427 >> DON'T TALK TO ME WHILE YOU'RE 482 00:17:22,433 --> 00:17:24,073 DOING THAT. 483 00:17:24,067 --> 00:17:27,227 >> I WANT TO TRY SOMETHING. 484 00:17:27,233 --> 00:17:29,103 >> I WANT TO USE MY OTHER HAND. 485 00:17:29,100 --> 00:17:31,530 >> YOU MEAN MY ONE HAND. 486 00:17:31,533 --> 00:17:32,473 >> MY OTHER HAND. 487 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:34,627 >> YOU DON'T HAVE ANOTHER HAND. 488 00:17:34,633 --> 00:17:35,973 WE EACH GET ONE. 489 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:38,097 >> COME ON MAN, I HEAR IT FEELS 490 00:17:38,100 --> 00:17:39,200 LIKE SOMEONE ELSE IS DOING IT 491 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:41,130 WHEN YOU USE YOUR OTHER HAND. 492 00:17:41,133 --> 00:17:43,233 >> SOMEONE ELSE WOULD BE DOING 493 00:17:43,233 --> 00:17:44,233 IT ME. 494 00:17:44,233 --> 00:17:44,603 NO. 495 00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:45,070 >> PLEASE. 496 00:17:45,067 --> 00:17:45,467 >> NO. 497 00:17:45,467 --> 00:17:47,327 >> I WILL MAKE YOU DO IT MYSELF. 498 00:17:47,333 --> 00:17:49,273 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 499 00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:51,867 >> MIKE, STOP IT! 500 00:17:51,867 --> 00:17:53,327 >> MIKE, GROSS. 501 00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,803 >> TWO CAN PLAY THAT CAN GAME 502 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:56,130 BUDDY. 503 00:17:56,133 --> 00:17:57,233 >> YA. 504 00:17:57,233 --> 00:17:58,973 >> WHAT ARE YOU DOING? 505 00:17:58,967 --> 00:18:00,867 >> TEACHING YOU A LESSON. 506 00:18:00,867 --> 00:18:02,697 >> I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON. 507 00:18:02,700 --> 00:18:05,200 >> I'M TEACH YOU A LESSON. 508 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:07,630 >> I'LL TEACH YOU A LESSON. 509 00:18:07,633 --> 00:18:08,933 >> DAD! 510 00:18:08,933 --> 00:18:11,133 >> GOD DAMN AT THIS TOLD YOU NO 511 00:18:11,133 --> 00:18:13,133 MORE PLAYING SIAMESE TWINS. 512 00:18:13,133 --> 00:18:13,773 >> SORRY. 513 00:18:13,767 --> 00:18:14,427 >> SORRY. 514 00:18:14,433 --> 00:18:16,703 >> THE FIRST PERSON I EVER 515 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:19,070 FRENCH KISSED WAS MY BROTHER. 516 00:18:19,067 --> 00:18:21,397 TRUE STORY MY SISTER MADE US DO 517 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,270 IT IN THE BACK OF THE CAR. 518 00:18:23,267 --> 00:18:24,267 WHICH WILL BE RIGHT BACK WITH 519 00:18:24,267 --> 00:18:29,967 MORE OF THE GONG SHOW WITH DAVID 520 00:18:29,967 --> 00:18:30,697 [ APPLAUSE ] 521 00:18:30,700 --> 00:18:34,600 * 522 00:18:34,600 --> 00:18:36,670 >> WELCOME BACK. 523 00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,367 TO TERA NOVA. 524 00:18:38,367 --> 00:18:40,467 NEXT WEEK BRAD THE ACTOR GETS A 525 00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:41,227 WEB REDEMPTION SOMEWHERE. 526 00:18:41,233 --> 00:18:42,833 >> I KEEP WAKING UP IN THE 527 00:18:42,833 --> 00:18:44,903 MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT ALL DRENCHED 528 00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,370 IN SWEAT. 529 00:18:46,367 --> 00:18:48,097 YESTERDAY I PUT MY FIST THROUGH 530 00:18:48,100 --> 00:18:50,400 THE WINDOW AND SHATTERED IT INTO 531 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:51,500 PIECES. 532 00:18:51,500 --> 00:18:53,200 MY MOM IS DEAD. 533 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:57,870 >> WHAT THE [BEEP] IS SWAT. 534 00:18:57,867 --> 00:19:00,127 >> TWITTER SO WE CAN LIVE CHAT 535 00:19:00,133 --> 00:19:01,203 DURING THE SHOWS. 536 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,100 KEEP UP WITH OUR BLOG. 537 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:07,500 BEFORE WE GO INSANE 538 00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:07,930 PROCLAMATIONS. 539 00:19:07,933 --> 00:19:09,873 THE MOST IMPORTANT FOOD OF ANY 540 00:19:09,867 --> 00:19:11,567 THANKSGIVING DINNER IS GRAVY. 541 00:19:11,567 --> 00:19:11,867 THERE. 542 00:19:11,867 --> 00:19:13,627 I SAID IT 543 00:19:13,633 --> 00:19:15,833 IF I TRIED REALLY HARD AND 544 00:19:15,833 --> 00:19:18,073 FOCUSED I COULD BE A ROLL PLAYER 545 00:19:18,067 --> 00:19:19,567 ON ANY NBA TEAM. 546 00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:20,497 END OF DISCUSSION. 547 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:24,370 I WANT YOU KNOW MY DOG'S LIVES 548 00:19:24,367 --> 00:19:27,067 ARE WORTH MORE THAN ANY NON 549 00:19:27,067 --> 00:19:28,097 AMERICAN BORN CHILD. 550 00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:30,200 THIS MAY SEEM CRAZY BUT THIS IS 551 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:31,130 HOW I FEEL. 552 00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,073 I ASKED TWITTER FOLLOWERS TO 553 00:19:33,067 --> 00:19:36,327 SEND ME THEIR OWN INSANE 554 00:19:36,333 --> 00:19:36,773 PROCLAMATIONS. 555 00:19:36,767 --> 00:19:38,197 HERE IS WHAT YOU THINK. 556 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:41,230 IF SHE'S HOT YOU DON'T NEED A 557 00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:41,573 RUBBER. 558 00:19:41,567 --> 00:19:44,697 CORN FLAKES ARE BETTER THAN 559 00:19:44,700 --> 00:19:46,530 FROSTED FLAKES. 560 00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:46,973 BLASPHEMY. 561 00:19:46,967 --> 00:19:48,567 BATH AND BODY WORKS IS THE BEST 562 00:19:48,567 --> 00:19:50,697 STORE FOR CANDLES. 563 00:19:50,700 --> 00:19:54,330 GARY COALMAN ALWAYS KNEW WHAT 564 00:19:54,333 --> 00:19:55,803 WILLIS WAS TALKING ABOUT. 565 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,500 SOME PEOPLE DON'T ENJOY BARBECUE 566 00:19:58,500 --> 00:19:59,330 POTATO CHIPS. 567 00:19:59,333 --> 00:20:01,103 IS THERE ANYONE IN HERE THAT 568 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,970 DOESN'T ENJOY BARBECUE POTATO 569 00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:04,667 CHIPS. 570 00:20:04,667 --> 00:20:06,497 YA THAT'S A STRAIGHT UP [BEEP] 571 00:20:06,500 --> 00:20:07,430 LIE. 572 00:20:07,433 --> 00:20:10,373 REGGIE BUSH IS A VERY DOWN BACK. 573 00:20:10,367 --> 00:20:12,397 NOT DURABLE ENOUGH. 574 00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:15,800 MINT CHOCOLATE CHIP IS THE BEST 575 00:20:15,800 --> 00:20:18,000 OF ALL ICE CREAM. 576 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,300 THAT GUY IS A LUNATIC. 577 00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,430 I WILL TAKE THE STUPID ICE CREAM 578 00:20:21,433 --> 00:20:23,533 WITH GUM IN IT. 579 00:20:23,533 --> 00:20:25,803 JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE SHOULD STICK 580 00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,000 TO ACTING OR WHATEVER ELSE HE 581 00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:30,000 WANTS TO DO WONDERFULLY. 582 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,600 TURKEY BACON WHO CAN TELL THE 583 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:33,000 DIFFERENCE? 584 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 ANYONE WITH A TONGUE. 585 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,230 FIRE IS THE GREATEST OF THE 586 00:20:37,233 --> 00:20:37,603 ELEMENTS. 587 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,470 EXCUSE ME, WATER? 588 00:20:39,467 --> 00:20:40,327 [LAUGHING] 589 00:20:40,333 --> 00:20:43,833 >> I HAVE READ AND AGREED TO THE 590 00:20:43,833 --> 00:20:45,203 TERMS AND CONDITIONS. 591 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:47,630 IF YOU HAVE EVER READ EVERYTHING 592 00:20:47,633 --> 00:20:49,433 AND LIKE, AGREE. 593 00:20:49,433 --> 00:20:49,973 [LAUGHING] 594 00:20:49,967 --> 00:20:52,127 >> YOU ARE TRULY INSANE. 595 00:20:52,133 --> 00:20:57,173 THOSE -- IF I HAVE SAID IT ONCE 596 00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:58,967 I HAVE SAID IT A THOUSAND TIMES. 597 00:20:58,967 --> 00:21:01,327 YOU CAN DO A BIT WITH YOUR FANS 598 00:21:01,333 --> 00:21:02,973 DOING ALL THE WORK FOR YOU. 599 00:21:02,967 --> 00:21:03,827 THAT'S INSANE. 600 00:21:03,833 --> 00:21:05,233 ALRIGHT THAT'S IT. 601 00:21:05,233 --> 00:21:08,473 GOOD NIGHT. 602 00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:16,397 >> OOOHHH, GET A ROOM, AUDIENCE. 603 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,670 >> YOU HAVE ALWAYS FILMED YOUR 604 00:21:18,667 --> 00:21:19,167 STUNTS. 605 00:21:19,167 --> 00:21:20,797 >> MOST TIME IT'S VHS. 606 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,770 >> I'M EXCITED THEY HAVE VHS IN 607 00:21:24,767 --> 00:21:25,167 KENTUCKY. 608 00:21:25,167 --> 00:21:26,967 >> HOW MANY KID ROCK CONCERTS 36947

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