All language subtitles for Intelligence s02e05.eng

JOSEPH: Yeah, really well, I think.

We're kind of in that
stage in our relationship

where I finally stopped getting the runs

every time we speak, so...

JERRY: And have you, you
know, stormed her castle?

JOSEPH: Oh, well, you know,
a gentleman never tells.

JERRY: Wait. She's a guy?

CHRISTINE: Boardroom. Now.

[RADIO CHATTER]

CHRISTINE: OK. I'll cut to the chase.

As of 20 minutes ago,

Mary's cover as a triple
agent has been blown.

- Oh, no.
- How many times?

JERRY: Do we know if the Russians

managed to rebuild Eternal Blue?

CHRISTINE: Yes, but with
the false information

provided by Mary, it
started destroying itself.

- JERRY: Surely that's a good thing.
- CHRISTINE: Not quite.

Now they're demanding we
give up the original creator

of the weapon, or
they'll kill Mary's mum.

- But that's me.
- Exactly.

- That's Mum.
- Shh. Hold on.

JERRY: Are you saying
that you're prepared

to sell me out just to keep
some random old lady alive?

MARY: She still does Hot
Zumba every Wednesday.

JERRY: Oh, does she?

CHRISTINE: Please don't
take it personally.

I'd do the same for anyone.

JERRY: But, Chrissie, do you really
want to toss me off like this?

CHRISTINE: It's not up to
you, and it's not up to me.

This comes directly from the top,

and sometimes sacrifices
have to be made.

When it comes to a choice
between risking a civilian life

versus an agent's life, we have to...

JERRY: Consider the age of the civilian.

Surely you can't just throw
me under a bus like this.

CHRISTINE: No one is suggesting
we throw you under a bus,

more that there might be
a bus heading your way.

JERRY: Well, fine.

Then what's stopping me from,
you know, jumping on that bus

and... I don't know...
eloping with Tuva?

- Me.
- Fine.

JERRY: Then I'll elope alone.

JOSEPH: Does that still count as elope?

- No.
- You know what?

JERRY: This is bullshit.
Do I not even get a choice?

CHRISTINE: Of course you get a choice.

One the one hand, you can capitulate,

or you can run away from all this,

putting a civilian
life in imminent danger

while simultaneously ending your career

and giving me no better
reason now to go public

with the NSA scandal for good measure.

By the way, let's keep
this on the lowdown.

The fewer people that know
about all this, the better.

- Know about what?
- Nothing.

EVELYN: Oh, my God,
are you guys organizing

a surprise birthday party for me?

CHRISTINE: No, of course not.

EVELYN: Oh, God.

JERRY: Way to go, Mary.

[KNOCKS ON DOOR]

JOSEPH: Oh, Jerry, I just
wanted to check you're OK.

JERRY: Yeah.

JOSEPH: Oh, dear.

Want me to get the blinds?

JERRY: [MUTTERS]

JOSEPH: You don't know?

I mean, I could go get
you something to eat.

- Is there anything...
- I don't know.

JOSEPH: We can get
married again if you like.

- No!
- No. Oh, yeah.

JOSEPH: Oh, I just wanted to see how...

You must be feeling awful.

JERRY: I just keep thinking
about everything they're doing

to that poor, old woman.

God, I wish she was dead,

you know, and then I may be next.

JOSEPH: Yeah. Well, yeah.

JERRY: I'm just trying
to focus on the positives.

JOSEPH: Well, you have
to, really, don't you?

Just wonder what they are.

JERRY: I don't know, maybe, you
know, pick up a bit of Russian?

JOSEPH: Yeah. Yeah.

[CELL PHONE CHIRPS]

- Everything OK?
- Yeah.

- Oh, good.
- Oh, I don't know.

JOSEPH: Part of me
just thinks none of this

would've, you know, even happened

if I'd have done what you
asked in the first place

and just got the location
data off of Charlotte.

- You know what I mean?
- No, buddy.

JERRY: You can't blame
yourself for any of that...

JOSEPH: Thanks, man.

JERRY: although now that
you've said it out loud,

I totally agree.

JOSEPH: I'm sure you'll
be fine. I mean, listen.

If anyone's gonna get
through all this, it's you.

JERRY: Yeah. Cool.

JOSEPH: At least you'll
go down in history a hero.

- Yay.
- Yeah.

JERRY: See, between us,
I'm just really not keen

on the whole being-tortured thing.

JOSEPH: I'm assuming that you
got quite a high pain threshold...

JERRY: Oh, no. I do.

JOSEPH: because you
were shot, weren't you?

JERRY: No.

JOSEPH: Yeah. You were. You showed me.

It was one of the first
things that you showed, like...

JERRY: Oh, Yeah. No. Right.
Sorry. That. Yeah. No.

Sometimes I forget how shot I was.

JOSEPH: Well, there you go.

I can't imagine it's
much worse than that.

Listen, Jerry.

Would it help if we just
did a little bit of practice?

JERRY: Like torture practice?

JOSEPH: Yeah, I mean,
just so you're prepared,

even if we start with
something really basic.

JERRY: Yeah, if we start out
with something, like, super small.

JOSEPH: Completely.

QUENTIN: Morning.

JERRY: What the fuck?

JOSEPH: Jerry, don't worry about it.

Just think of it as a dress rehearsal.

It's gonna be OK, so,
Quentin, just out of interest,

if you were to get an electric
shock from one of these,

how much would it hurt?

QUENTIN: Um, it would depend
on how wet your body was.

JOSEPH: OK. That's good.

Have you ever had an electric
shock from one of these?

QUENTIN: Yes, but I'm always wet. Right.

JOSEPH: OK. That'll be
all. Thanks, Quentin.

- You want me to...
- Yes, please.

JOSEPH: OK. Don't worry.

I'm sure you'll be able to
handle it, OK? It's just...

JERRY: OK, so I think the key thing here

is that we have a safe word
so that you know when to stop.

JOSEPH: What about "coconut"?

JERRY: No. I think it has to be a word

that I don't usually use.

JOSEPH: "Please?"

JERRY: What are you...
What are you doing?

Just wait for me.

- Should we do my thumbs?
- Yeah, or your nipples.

JERRY: We'll do my
thumbs, OK? No wait for me.

JOSEPH: I'm waiting, Jerry.

JERRY: [INHALES]

OK.

Go for it. You know what?

- JOSEPH: You want me to do your nipples.
- JERRY: No.

I think we should build
up to this by maybe...

How do you feel about
slapping me around a bit?

- With the battery?
- No. What? No. I mean...

JERRY: You know, even better, I
think we should start with you.

- No.
- Yeah.

- No.
- Yeah.

- No.
- Yes!

JERRY: Because I need to
see how much it hurts first.

JOSEPH: Well, I'm guessing somewhere

between, like, a bee
sting or a shark attack.

JERRY: If you... OK. You know what?

I think we're just gonna
have to find another way.

- I'm so sorr...
- Wait! Aah!

JERRY: Why did you...
What was that sound?

- I don't know.
- That was super scary.

JOSEPH: Oh, my God,
no. Oh, did I get you?

- No.
- OK.

- What are you doing? Stop.
- Well, you have to say...

JERRY: No! Coconut, motherfucker!

Coconut! Coconut!

UMA: Shall I come back later?

JERRY: Yeah. OK.

[DOOR CLOSES]

JERRY: Yeah. We got
to find a better plan.

JOSEPH: Oh, God, yeah.

Maybe we should talk to Mary about it.

JERRY: Damn straight.
This is her fucking fault.

MARY: Wanted to see me?

JERRY: Mary, yes. Hi.
Come. Please sit down.

Oh, are you OK? Oh.

MARY: Gosh.

JERRY: I'll have that chair removed.

MARY: Don't think I've
ever been in here on my own.

JERRY: No. There's a reason for that.

- What do you mean?
- Doesn't matter.

JERRY: I love your tops.

MARY: Oh, thank you.

JERRY: So I just wanted
to check in with you.

Oh, my God, this must be so hard.

MARY: Being in here?

JERRY: No. I mean, having to
choose between your mom and me.

Oh, God, I mean, if it were
me, I would just be feeling

so guilty and personally
responsible right now.

MARY: I'm just trying
not to think about it.

JERRY: Yeah. No. That's
probably for the best.

I mean, the things they're doing
to your mom right now are just...

unimaginable.

MARY: Gosh.

JERRY: Oh. Don't look.
Christine's watching us.

No. Don't wave. Pretend to be upset.

MARY: [SOBBING]

JERRY: OK, so...

No. She's back.

MARY: [SOBBING]

JERRY: Oh, Mary, no.
It... Yeah. She's gone.

Anyway, all this got me thinking.

As useful as it is to GCHQ for
me to trade places with her,

I mean, wouldn't it be easier on you

if we just took her out
of the equation altogether?

MARY: You want me to shoot her?

JERRY: Well, no. I mean,
I just meant extract her,

but, I mean, that's up to you.

See, if we could just
take away their leverage

and at the same time avoid putting me

in any kind of physical jeopardy,

I mean, truly, that's a win-win, right?

- For me?
- Yes, for me... for you, yes,

for all of us.

Mary, do you really
want to be responsible

for keeping her there
longer than necessary?

MARY: Guess I was just
enjoying being home

without getting bitten all the time.

JERRY: Now we just need
to find out where she is.

MARY: Oh, I know exactly where she is.

TUVA: I don't understand.

How long have you known where she is?

MARY: About a week now.

I managed to hack into
GCHQ Bude's server.

- Does Chris know?
- Yes.

MARY: We used a written matrix
and 12 coaxial trace algorithms.

JERRY: Yeah. No. That's
what I would have done.

- So is she in Russia?
- No.

MARY: The food was
giving her a bubbly tummy,

so they moved her somewhere more local.

JERRY: But the main thing is...

But the main thing is that
we're all in agreement.

We're getting her back,
right? She's not that far.

JOSEPH: But what do we tell Chris?

JERRY: Can't we just say
that they found your mom

too annoying and just gave her back?

MARY: I mean, she is quite annoying.

TUVA: No. They'd just chop her head off.

- Really?
- Yeah. That's what I'd do.

JERRY: Look. We can figure out
what, exactly, we tell Chris

after we get her back.

Right now, I just need
to know, are you in?

- Yeah.
- Yes. Yes.

- What's going on?
- Uh, nothing. It's a surprise.

EVELYN: Is it something to
do with my birthday again?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

- Yes.
- Yeah.

JERRY: Actually, we're just
trying to choose a present.

EVELYN: Oh, my God, guys, thank you.

JOSEPH: Maybe we should
get her a cake or something.

JERRY: Fuck that.

MARY: How do you want
to secretly extract her?

JERRY: Two words... brute force.

EVELYN: Is it a car?

JOSEPH: Right. Hello.

JERRY: What the hell are you doing?

What if someone sees you?

JOSEPH: Well, it's fine.
I'm wearing camouflage paint.

JERRY: But that won't work in here,

and with your coloring,
you can barely see it.

JOSEPH: You think I
should've gone darker?

They wouldn't let me try
any more on in the shop.

They said it was disrespectful.

- ? Morning ?
- Shh shh.

MARY: Oh.

JOSEPH: So where, exactly,
are they holding her, then?

JERRY: Not far, Brize Norton.

JOSEPH: Oh, where
Crocodiles of the World is.

JERRY: You guys have
crocodiles over here?

JOSEPH: They do in Brize Norton. Yeah.

- What time are we going in?
- Immediately.

JERRY: I want to be in and
out before Chris arrives.

JOSEPH: Well, obviously not driving.

I don't have a lice...
Well, I can't drive.

JERRY: You guys know we're not
actually going in ourselves, right?

MARY: Oh. How, then?

JERRY: I got us a combat drone.

All right. Seriously, no one
puts troops on the ground anymore.

It's just not very woke.

JOSEPH: So where did you get a
combat drone on such short notice?

JERRY: I borrowed it
from a buddy of mine.

Don't worry about it.
He owed me a favor.

MARY: Why? What did you do?

JERRY: I sang at his son's bar mitzvah.

- It doesn't matter.
- So he lent you a drone?

JERRY: Yeah, yeah. We've always
had that kind of relationship.

- Can I meet him?
- No. He's agoraphobic.

JOSEPH: Was that tricky
at his bar mitzvah?

JERRY: No. It was just the two of us.

MARY: Oh, there wasn't even a rabbi?

JERRY: No. He's actually
a rabbi, as well.

- He was a rabbi at 13?
- OK. Fine.

JERRY: I helped him kill
Osama Bin Laden. Happy?

- Cool.
- OK.

JERRY: Joseph, you're
on pitch and roll, OK?

You know what they are, right?

JOSEPH: Pitch and roll,
yeah, as in the hokey cokey.

JERRY: OK, Mary. I need you on speed.

- Gosh, really?
- Yeah.

JERRY: All right,
Tuva. You're next to me.

Now, Tuva and I will
navigate, OK, and we're all...

Hey, guys, we're gonna
work in synch, OK,

but basically, just do what I say, OK?

TUVA: So where is it now?

JERRY: It's just behind my hotel,

hidden next to the crematorium.

- Is it big?
- It is.

JERRY: I think it could cremate
up to 100 people at a time.

JOSEPH: It's not doing anything.

JERRY: Yeah. We're not in the air yet.

Can you please stop doing that?

JOSEPH: Yep, yep.

JERRY: OK. Now, I'm
gonna take north-south.

Are you happy doing east-west?

Because I just thought that
would come more naturally to you.

- Why?
- I don't know.

JERRY: You just have
that look about you.

Mary, do you want to
take us up now slowly?

Pull back on the stick.

[DRONE BUZZING]

Nice. There you go.
That's a thing of beauty.

JOSEPH: Is that your hotel?

JERRY: No. That's the crematorium.

- Oh, it looks nice.
- Right?

JERRY: OK, Tuva.

Now two degrees to the
east, and, Joseph slowly...

- Yep.
- bank right.

JOSEPH: OK. Uh-huh.

JERRY: All right. Now I want
you to pitch forward, Joseph.

Slowly pitch forward. Let's
get some speed up, Mary.

JOSEPH: What kind of speed
should we be aiming for?

JERRY: Flying a drone
is a bit like having sex.

You don't want to start off too fast,

or you'll have nowhere to go.

MARY: I'm a bit like that.

JERRY: You just want to
keep going at a steady pace,

find your rhythm, no
sudden movements, or...

TUVA: Or he whole
thing will end in tears.

JERRY: or the whole thing will end in...

Come on. It wasn't that bad.

[BEEP]

We got to be getting close here, but...

Oh, Jesus, fuck.

MARY: Sorry. I think it's nerves.

JERRY: No. Chris just walked up.

OK, Mary. You're gonna
have to form a distraction.

- What do I do?
- I don't know. Go.

JERRY: Go improvise. Tuva, go with her.

[DRONE BUZZING]

- OK, but don't let go.
- Let go?

- No. Don't let go.
- Which one?

JERRY: Both. What are
you... Both of them.

- Jerry...
- What are you doing?

- Jerry, Jerry...
- Don't talk to me.

JERRY: I know what I'm doing.

MARY: Morning, Chris. You're in early.

CHRISTINE: What's going
on? Why are you here?

MARY: Oh, I'm just doing some
last-minute choir practice.

They keep making me reaudition.

- Dressed like that?
- Yes.

MARY: The sticks help
me reach the high notes.

- And Tuva?
- Vocal coach.

CHRISTINE: It's 5:00 in the morning.

- TUVA: Yeah. She's really bad.
- MARY: Yes. I am.

TUVA: Oh, you want to hear something?

MARY: Oh. Right. Um...

? They tried to make me go to rehab ?

? But I won't go, go, go ?

JERRY: This has got to be it.
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hang on.

I think we have company.

JOSEPH: Oh, good grief,
what have they done to her?

JERRY: What? That's not her.

JOSEPH: Right. Sorry. Can they see us?

JERRY: No. It's like "Call of Duty," OK?

Look. There's a speaker on the drone.

- Are you gonna sing something?
- No.

JERRY: I don't want them
connecting me to any of this, OK?

You're gonna do it.

- JOSEPH: What would you like me to sing?
- Hopefully, nothing, OK?

? Hopefully, nothing ?

JERRY: Please. All you
have to do now is...

[TAPS BUTTONS]

- OK. We're live.
- Hello?

JERRY: Nope. You have to hold
down this button to speak, OK?

- Hello?
- What are you...

JERRY: Just why? Why
would you say hello?

- That's too friendly.
- Fuck you.

- JERRY: Will you... OK. OK.
- JOSEPH: I just didn't know what else to say.

- Can you just...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

JERRY: Just say you know who they are

and you know what they're doing.

JOSEPH: You know who they are,
and you know what they're...

JERRY: Stop. Stop. What
are you... Stop. OK.

Here... Now they're really coming.

OK, OK. It's on. All right.
We'll do it line by line.

Tell them this is GCHQ and
this is their last chance.

JOSEPH: This is GCHQ, and
this is their last chance.

- "Your"!
- Your, your. Sorry.

- What is wrong with you?
- Sorry.

JERRY: OK. We have you surrounded.

JOSEPH: We have you s... That's clever.

- Shh.
- Shh. We have you surrounded.

- Release the hostage.
- Release the hostage, or...

JERRY: What? There is
no "or." We have no "or."

JOSEPH: Sorry. Hang on. What?

JERRY: OK. Fine.

Release the hostage,
or we'll fire a missile.

JOSEPH: Release the hostage,
or we'll fire a nuclear missile.

JERRY: What? Why?

Why would we fire a nuclear
missile on home soil?

JOSEPH: OK. Scrap that.

MARY: ? Yes, I've been
black, but when I come back ?

CHRISTINE: Yes?

MARY: ? You will know, know, know ?

CHRISTINE: Understood.

MARY: ? I ain't got the time ?

CHRISTINE: I'll be sure
to let him know. God job.

MARY: ? They tried to
make me go to rehab ?

? But I won't go, go... go ?

Oh, no. I've got more.

? They call me Mr.
Bombastic, semi-fantastic ?

JOSEPH: But what if they recognize me?

JERRY: They won't. Don't say...

Chris, hey, no, no, no.

CHRISTINE: What on Earth do
you all think you're playing at?

JERRY: OK, Chris. I'm
gonna be completely honest

with you right now.

I got a combat drone for my birthday

from a buddy of mine...

JOSEPH: He's a 13-year-old rabbi.

JERRY: and we were all
just having a play, OK?

Then we started to feel so
bad for poor, old Mary's mom,

and so we... Tuva thought,

"Wouldn't it be easier
if we just extracted her?"

and we're all like...

CHRISTINE: Easier on you, you mean,

whilst at the same time jeopardizing

a legitimate rescue mission.

JERRY: Wait. you were going
in after her the whole time?

You mean, you were never intending

to throw me under a bus?

CHRISTINE: Not that bus, no.

Do you really think
I'm that coldhearted?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

CHRISTINE: If it weren't for
the distraction you caused

with the drone, allowing
one of our tactical teams

to move in and retrieve her unharmed

along with destroying
all of the Russian intel

on Eternal Blue, I would
seriously be considering

reporting all of this to Rupert,

who expresses his utmost gratitude

for your quick thinking
and innovative approach.

JERRY: Well, you really should've
let us in on the plan all along.

I had Mary in my office.

CHRISTINE: And risk that
information getting out?

Who knows if anyone else
here has been compromised?

JERRY: What, you think there
still might be a mole working here?

MARY: It can't be me.
It was me last time.

CHRISTINE: You better all
go home and get changed.

- Joseph...
- Yeah?

CHRISTINE: A word in my office.

JOSEPH: Listen. I've been
a bit all over the place

these past few days, but I
promise it wont happen again.

- I know...
- Good. Thank you.

JOSEPH: Thank you for being
so understanding all the time.

CHRISTINE: Because you're fired.

JOSEPH: What? No.

No. No. Look. You don't have to do that.

- I do.
- No. Listen. I get it.

JOSEPH: You know, you're tired.
You haven't had breakfast.

I'd be the same if I'd not eaten.

CHRISTINE: This isn't just about today.

JOSEPH: I know, but I
bet today didn't help.

CHRISTINE: No.

It's just been endless, Joseph.

I've tried to warn you so many times.

JOSEPH: I know I'm not
meant to be dating someone

from GCHQ Bude, but that...

- You've been doing what?
- Sorry.

JOSEPH: I forgot I
wasn't meant to say that.

CHRISTINE: Anything
else you'd like to add?

JOSEPH: It's actually going really well.

CHRISTINE: Either way,
my decision's final.

JOSEPH: No.

No. No, Chris. I... No.

I'm just begging you, please.

CHRISTINE: You have
till the end of the day.

Surely there must be
something that I can do.

I mean...

do you need your shopping
getting or anything?

CHRISTINE: No.

JOSEPH: Well, can you at least
write me a good reference?

CHRISTINE: No.

If it was too good, people
would wonder why I let you go.

JOSEPH: Well, then
why don't I just stay?

CHRISTINE: No.

Please get out.

I'm about to call the
Secretary of State.

JOSEPH: But I don't
think she knows who I am.

CHRISTINE: Not about you, obviously.

Ohh...

JOSEPH: Can you at least tell
me everything's gonna be OK?

CHRISTINE: Everything's going to be OK.

JOSEPH: I just don't think it is.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[CELL PHONE VIBRATE AND CHIMES]

EVELYN: Oh... my God, thanks guys.

TUVA: Be careful with that.

OK.

NOEL COWARD: ? Hooray, hooray, hooray ?

? Misery's on the way ?

? There are bad times
just around the corner ?

? There are dark clouds
hurtling through the sky ?

? It's as clear as crystal ?

? From Bridlington to Bristol ?

? That we can't save democracy
and we don't much care ?

? We'd better all learn the lyrics ?

? Of the old "Red Flag" ?

? And wait until we drop down dead ?

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