All language subtitles for Tosh.0.S01E10_English

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,567 --> 00:00:20,597 [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 2 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,100 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 3 00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:27,070 - PLEASE. 4 00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:27,567 THANK YOU SO MUCH. 5 00:00:27,567 --> 00:00:29,727 ALL RIGHT, THAT'S OBNOXIOUS. 6 00:00:29,733 --> 00:00:30,903 EASY, TOBEY MAGUIRE. 7 00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:33,930 IT WAS JUST A MOVIE. 8 00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:34,603 I'D BE MORE IMPRESSED IF IT 9 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,330 DIDN'T LOOK LIKE YOU WERE IN A 10 00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:37,373 BALLET CLASS. 11 00:00:37,367 --> 00:00:39,597 BUT KEEP TRYING. 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:42,000 WELCOME TO TOSH.0. 13 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:46,400 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 14 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:47,130 COMEDY CENTRAL'S DIRTY LITTLE 15 00:00:47,133 --> 00:00:48,973 SECRET. 16 00:00:48,967 --> 00:00:50,197 TODAY WE GIVE THE SKATEBOARD 17 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,600 GIRL A WEB REDEMPTION. 18 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,370 YOUR POPCORN RESPONSE VIDEOS ARE 19 00:00:53,367 --> 00:00:55,197 IN. 20 00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:55,900 AND NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN TOSH.0 21 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,130 FOOTAGE. 22 00:00:58,133 --> 00:00:59,703 AS OPPOSED TO THE NEXT HALF 23 00:00:59,700 --> 00:01:00,600 HOUR, WHICH IS ALSO 24 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:03,200 NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOOTAGE. 25 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:03,900 ALL RIGHT, LET'S FIND OUT HOW 26 00:01:03,900 --> 00:01:05,930 THAT GUY ON THE WALL'S DOING. 27 00:01:05,933 --> 00:01:13,373 - [SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] 28 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:13,967 - OH, MY GOODNESS. 29 00:01:13,967 --> 00:01:14,597 WE CAN DO ANYTHING WITH A 30 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,930 COMPUTER. 31 00:01:16,933 --> 00:01:17,633 BY THE WAY, THAT'S NOT UP TO 32 00:01:17,633 --> 00:01:19,833 CODE. 33 00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,533 YOU NEED A STUD EVERY 16 INCHES. 34 00:01:21,533 --> 00:01:24,703 THAT'S JUST SHODDY WORKMANSHIP. 35 00:01:24,700 --> 00:01:25,430 TECHNICALLY, YOU CAN GO EVERY 24 36 00:01:25,433 --> 00:01:26,103 INCHES, BUT THAT WON'T GET 37 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,930 PERMITTED. 38 00:01:27,933 --> 00:01:28,673 I LEARNED THAT ON RENOVATION 39 00:01:28,667 --> 00:01:32,697 REALITIES... 40 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:37,670 IN HD. 41 00:01:37,667 --> 00:01:38,367 WHICH BOTHERS ME THAT COMEDY 42 00:01:38,367 --> 00:01:39,067 CENTRAL ISN'T IN HD IN MY 43 00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:39,427 NEIGHBORHOOD. 44 00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:40,303 LET'S GO, TIME WARNER. 45 00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:41,070 I WANT MY NEIGHBOR TO SEE ALL MY 46 00:01:41,067 --> 00:01:45,727 PORES. 47 00:01:45,733 --> 00:01:47,303 ALL RIGHT, THE NEXT VIDEO'S A 48 00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:48,400 GREAT EXAMPLE OF WHY CROWD 49 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,100 SURFING IS FOR EVERYONE. 50 00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:58,770 [CHEERING] 51 00:01:58,767 --> 00:01:59,297 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 52 00:01:59,300 --> 00:02:00,430 I DON'T WANT TO. 53 00:02:00,433 --> 00:02:03,673 I FEEL HANDICAPPED HERE. 54 00:02:03,667 --> 00:02:04,467 BUT LET'S SEE HOW MANY COMMENTS 55 00:02:04,467 --> 00:02:07,927 WE CAN POST IN 20 SECONDS. 56 00:02:07,933 --> 00:02:08,603 TECHNICALLY, THAT'S CROWD 57 00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:12,970 SKATING. 58 00:02:12,967 --> 00:02:13,597 DON'T DROP HIM. 59 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:15,530 HIS ARMS STILL WORK. 60 00:02:15,533 --> 00:02:18,733 I MISS BEACH BALLS. 61 00:02:18,733 --> 00:02:19,503 TREAT HIM LIKE EVERYONE ELSE AND 62 00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:21,800 STEAL THE RIMS. 63 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:22,430 I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S SO 64 00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:23,373 WORRIED. 65 00:02:23,367 --> 00:02:24,067 IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S GONNA GET 66 00:02:24,067 --> 00:02:26,667 RE-PARALYZED. 67 00:02:26,667 --> 00:02:30,427 GREAT TURNOUT. 68 00:02:30,433 --> 00:02:31,533 STANDING ROOM ONLY. 69 00:02:31,533 --> 00:02:32,073 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 70 00:02:32,067 --> 00:02:32,727 THIS GUY PUTS THE ROLL IN ROCK 71 00:02:32,733 --> 00:02:35,103 AND ROLL. 72 00:02:35,100 --> 00:02:36,500 OKAY. 73 00:02:36,500 --> 00:02:37,870 BEFORE WE PLAY THIS NEXT CLIP, I 74 00:02:37,867 --> 00:02:38,597 HAVE TO TALK TO A CERTAIN FEW 75 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,470 PEOPLE AT HOME. 76 00:02:41,467 --> 00:02:42,627 WE SHOW A LOT OF PEOPLE DOING 77 00:02:42,633 --> 00:02:44,433 STUPID, DANGEROUS THINGS. 78 00:02:44,433 --> 00:02:45,973 DON'T DO THEM. 79 00:02:45,967 --> 00:02:48,767 IT'S THAT SIMPLE. 80 00:02:48,767 --> 00:02:52,327 WE DON'T DO THEM USUALLY. 81 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,073 WE JUST FIND THEM, WATCH THEM, 82 00:02:53,067 --> 00:02:53,697 AND LAUGH AT THEM. 83 00:02:53,700 --> 00:02:55,100 GOT IT? 84 00:02:55,100 --> 00:02:57,770 DON'T BE A TOOL. 85 00:02:57,767 --> 00:03:01,427 AGAIN, DO NOT DO THIS. 86 00:03:01,433 --> 00:03:02,173 AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO, 87 00:03:02,167 --> 00:03:02,867 IT'S TIME TO PLAY "GUESS WHAT 88 00:03:02,867 --> 00:03:08,827 HAPPENS NEXT?" 89 00:03:08,833 --> 00:03:09,573 ALL RIGHT, WE HAVE AN ASIAN KID 90 00:03:09,567 --> 00:03:10,297 WEARING SKINNY JEANS SITTING IN 91 00:03:10,300 --> 00:03:15,100 A VULNERABLE POSITION. 92 00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:15,600 I LOVE IT SO FAR. 93 00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:20,330 GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT. 94 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:20,903 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 95 00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:21,930 IF YOU GUESSED THAT HE WAS GOING 96 00:03:21,933 --> 00:03:22,933 TO POUR LIQUID ALL OVER HIS 97 00:03:22,933 --> 00:03:23,673 CROTCH, THEN YOU'RE DOING BETTER 98 00:03:23,667 --> 00:03:26,297 THAN ME. 99 00:03:26,300 --> 00:03:29,730 CAN YOU GUESS WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? 100 00:03:29,733 --> 00:03:36,703 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 101 00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:38,170 [BLEEP] 102 00:03:38,167 --> 00:03:41,327 I THOUGHT ASIANS WERE BRIGHT. 103 00:03:41,333 --> 00:03:42,073 DID YOU GUESS THAT THE LIQUID 104 00:03:42,067 --> 00:03:42,797 WAS LIGHTER FLUID AND HE WOULD 105 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,270 SET HIS JUNK AFLAME? 106 00:03:44,267 --> 00:03:45,967 WELL, THEN YOU'RE TWO FOR TWO. 107 00:03:45,967 --> 00:03:46,697 AND GUESSING WHAT HAPPENS NEXT 108 00:03:46,700 --> 00:03:55,730 SHOULD BE A BREEZE. 109 00:03:55,733 --> 00:03:56,203 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 110 00:03:56,200 --> 00:03:56,600 [APPLAUSE] 111 00:03:56,600 --> 00:03:59,770 THAT'S RIGHT. 112 00:03:59,767 --> 00:04:01,227 IF YOU GUESSED HIS THREE FRIENDS 113 00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:04,173 WERE GONNA USE HIS CROTCH TO 114 00:04:04,167 --> 00:04:05,067 SHOOT THEIR FILM, STOMP THE 115 00:04:05,067 --> 00:04:05,767 NARD, THEN YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A 116 00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,467 WIZARD. 117 00:04:08,467 --> 00:04:09,867 BUT THE JOKE'S ON THEM. 118 00:04:09,867 --> 00:04:11,167 BECAUSE BEFORE HE LIT HIS NUTS 119 00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:11,867 ON FIRE, HE FILLED THEM WITH 120 00:04:11,867 --> 00:04:14,227 POOP. 121 00:04:14,233 --> 00:04:15,273 AND THAT'S HOW YOU PLAY "GUESS 122 00:04:15,267 --> 00:04:17,597 WHAT HAPPENS NEXT?" 123 00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,300 BY THE WAY, DO NOT DO THAT AT 124 00:04:18,300 --> 00:04:21,230 HOME. 125 00:04:21,233 --> 00:04:24,073 DON'T DO IT. 126 00:04:24,067 --> 00:04:25,067 DON'T DO IT. 127 00:04:25,067 --> 00:04:26,797 ALL RIGHT, IF YOU LOVE EXTREME 128 00:04:26,800 --> 00:04:28,570 SPORTS AND YOU LOVE BABIES, THEN 129 00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:29,297 MAYBE YOU SHOULD CONSIDER A TRIP 130 00:04:29,300 --> 00:04:33,870 TO INDIA. 131 00:04:33,867 --> 00:04:40,327 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 132 00:04:40,333 --> 00:04:41,073 OKAY, I'M TOLD THEY DO THIS FOR 133 00:04:41,067 --> 00:04:43,227 GOOD LUCK. 134 00:04:43,233 --> 00:04:43,973 AND DON'T WORRY, THE KIDS LOVE 135 00:04:43,967 --> 00:04:45,727 IT. 136 00:04:45,733 --> 00:04:48,933 JUST LOOK AT THOSE TEARS OF JOY. 137 00:04:48,933 --> 00:04:50,503 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 138 00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:51,200 YOU THINK THAT'S BAD? 139 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:53,970 IT'S NOT AS BAD AS THEIR FOOD. 140 00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:55,127 UGH, YOU CAN'T GET THAT SMELL 141 00:04:55,133 --> 00:04:57,203 OUT OF YOUR CLOTHES. 142 00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:59,230 IT'S THE CURRY. 143 00:04:59,233 --> 00:05:04,233 IT DOESN'T LOOK THAT SCARY. 144 00:05:04,233 --> 00:05:04,903 OH, YOU PEOPLE ARE [BLEEP] 145 00:05:04,900 --> 00:05:07,730 CRAZY! 146 00:05:07,733 --> 00:05:09,503 THE FALL WAS KIND OF FUN. 147 00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:10,530 IT'S THE SHAKING I HAVE A 148 00:05:10,533 --> 00:05:13,533 PROBLEM WITH. 149 00:05:13,533 --> 00:05:20,673 YOU CAN'T SHAKE CHILDREN, UNLESS 150 00:05:20,667 --> 00:05:21,327 THEY'RE CRYING AND SITTING 151 00:05:21,333 --> 00:05:22,173 BEHIND ME ON A PLANE. 152 00:05:22,167 --> 00:05:22,867 THEN SHAKE HIM TILL HE SLEEPS. 153 00:05:22,867 --> 00:05:25,397 ALL RIGHT, MOVING ON. 154 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,070 - OH, WALLY. 155 00:05:27,067 --> 00:05:28,797 WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! 156 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,500 [LAUGHS] 157 00:05:30,500 --> 00:05:35,870 NO, NO. 158 00:05:35,867 --> 00:05:36,727 - GOOD BOY. 159 00:05:36,733 --> 00:05:37,103 GOOD BOY. 160 00:05:37,100 --> 00:05:37,600 GOOD BOY. 161 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,330 HEY, AT LEAST IT WASN'T A BLACK 162 00:05:38,333 --> 00:05:41,473 LAB. 163 00:05:41,467 --> 00:05:41,927 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 164 00:05:41,933 --> 00:05:47,803 WHAT? 165 00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:48,500 BECAUSE THAT WOULD SHOW UP ON 166 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:52,670 HER OUTFIT MORE. 167 00:05:52,667 --> 00:05:54,397 [LAUGHTER] 168 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,630 THIS IS NOT WHAT CESAR MILLAN 169 00:05:56,633 --> 00:05:57,673 MEANS BY CALM SUBMISSIVE. 170 00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:59,367 LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT THIS CRIME 171 00:05:59,367 --> 00:06:00,167 OF PASSION THRUST BY THRUST IN 172 00:06:00,167 --> 00:06:05,467 THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN. 173 00:06:05,467 --> 00:06:06,067 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 174 00:06:06,067 --> 00:06:07,267 COME HERE, BOY. 175 00:06:07,267 --> 00:06:07,927 OH, YOU GOT TO ADMIRE HIS 176 00:06:07,933 --> 00:06:09,803 CONFIDENCE. 177 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:11,070 GRAMS IS PLAYING HARD TO GET, 178 00:06:11,067 --> 00:06:11,797 BUT HE TRIES TO GIVE IT TO HER 179 00:06:11,800 --> 00:06:13,900 STANDING UP ANYWAY. 180 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,700 WALLY ISN'T MUCH FOR FOREPLAY. 181 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:16,370 GEEZ, LET HER PULL DOWN HER 182 00:06:16,367 --> 00:06:19,067 DEPENDS FIRST. 183 00:06:19,067 --> 00:06:22,667 AND DOWN GOES NANA... 184 00:06:22,667 --> 00:06:25,327 IN THE ABSOLUTE WORST POSITION. 185 00:06:25,333 --> 00:06:27,403 I TAUGHT HIM THAT ONE. 186 00:06:27,400 --> 00:06:28,100 IT'S CALLED "WARMING UP THE 187 00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:31,070 OVEN". 188 00:06:31,067 --> 00:06:32,227 HE'S GONNA MAKE HIS FRIENDS 189 00:06:32,233 --> 00:06:32,933 SMELL THAT PAW FOR THE NEXT 190 00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:37,933 COUPLE OF WEEKS. 191 00:06:37,933 --> 00:06:40,073 IT'S BEEN 27 YEARS SINCE MEE-MAW 192 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:40,697 TOOK A LOVER, BUT SHE HASN'T 193 00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:43,130 LOST A STEP. 194 00:06:43,133 --> 00:06:44,273 IT'S LIKE RIDING A BIKE, FROM 195 00:06:44,267 --> 00:06:47,467 BEHIND. 196 00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:48,197 AND LOOK AT GERTRUDE LAUGHING IT 197 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:52,270 UP. 198 00:06:52,267 --> 00:06:52,797 DIRTY, DIRTY TRAMP. 199 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:53,530 SHE LOVES TO WATCH. 200 00:06:53,533 --> 00:06:54,433 I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE HE'S 201 00:06:54,433 --> 00:06:59,773 HITTING THAT GOLDEN GIRL RAW. 202 00:06:59,767 --> 00:07:00,367 SHE'S LUCKY. 203 00:07:00,367 --> 00:07:01,097 THAT IS A BEAUTIFUL DOG. 204 00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,430 AND SUCH A GENTLEMAN. 205 00:07:02,433 --> 00:07:03,233 FINDING A PARTNER WHO LIKES TO 206 00:07:03,233 --> 00:07:08,303 CUDDLE IS RARE. 207 00:07:08,300 --> 00:07:08,900 SOMEONE FETCH GRANNY A 208 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:09,570 CIGARETTE. 209 00:07:09,567 --> 00:07:10,297 AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, GIVE A 210 00:07:10,300 --> 00:07:11,070 MILK-BONE TO THE BESTIALITY FAN 211 00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:11,797 WHO KEPT THE CAMERA ROLLING 212 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:12,530 THROUGH THE ENTIRE RAPE SESSION 213 00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:19,773 AND POSTED IT ONLINE. 214 00:07:19,767 --> 00:07:20,667 AND FOR THAT, WE THANK YOU. 215 00:07:20,667 --> 00:07:21,227 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 216 00:07:21,233 --> 00:07:21,803 OKAY. 217 00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:22,500 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH THE 218 00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:23,100 SKATEBOARD GIRL'S WEB 219 00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:23,870 REDEMPTION. 220 00:07:23,867 --> 00:07:25,067 BUT FIRST HERE'S WHY THE SECOND 221 00:07:25,067 --> 00:07:25,797 AMENDMENT IS SO MOTHER[BLEEP] 222 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,970 SWEET. 223 00:07:28,967 --> 00:07:29,467 [ROCK MUSIC] 224 00:07:29,467 --> 00:07:32,467 - HERE WE GO. 225 00:07:32,467 --> 00:07:36,927 - [INDISTINCT] 226 00:07:36,933 --> 00:07:47,403 - [SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE] 227 00:07:47,400 --> 00:08:03,170 - GO. 228 00:08:03,167 --> 00:08:05,697 - [BLEEP] 229 00:08:05,700 --> 00:08:18,170 [BLEEP] 230 00:08:18,167 --> 00:08:18,697 - GO, BAILEY, GO. 231 00:08:18,700 --> 00:08:19,270 GO, BAILEY, GO. 232 00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,427 YOU CAN DO IT. 233 00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:20,903 DON'T FALL. 234 00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:25,500 DON'T FALL. 235 00:08:25,500 --> 00:08:27,130 [AUDIENCE OHHS] 236 00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:29,903 - SHE SAID DON'T FALL. 237 00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:32,370 DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING AT ALL. 238 00:08:32,367 --> 00:08:33,327 SHE'LL BE FINE. 239 00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:34,103 YOU CAN STILL BE A SUCCESS WITH 240 00:08:34,100 --> 00:08:35,300 A BUSTED FACE. 241 00:08:35,300 --> 00:08:36,400 JUST ASK JULIA STILES. 242 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:40,800 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 243 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,170 A LITTLE TIP, YOU SHOULDN'T 244 00:08:42,167 --> 00:08:44,267 SKATEBOARD WITH FLIP-FLOPS. 245 00:08:44,267 --> 00:08:45,067 YOU ALSO SHOULDN'T SKATEBOARD 246 00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:47,727 WHEN YOU SUCK AT SKATEBOARDING. 247 00:08:47,733 --> 00:08:48,673 BUT IT'S IMPORTANT TO POINT OUT 248 00:08:48,667 --> 00:08:49,467 THAT SHE DIDN'T FALL BECAUSE 249 00:08:49,467 --> 00:08:51,927 SHE'S A GIRL. 250 00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:54,273 WOMEN CAN DO ANYTHING MEN CAN 251 00:08:54,267 --> 00:08:56,527 DO, EXCEPT MATH, CHESS, RUNNING, 252 00:08:56,533 --> 00:08:57,933 JUMPING, LIFTING STUFF, FIXING 253 00:08:57,933 --> 00:09:00,673 THINGS, MAKING MONEY, HOCKEY, 254 00:09:00,667 --> 00:09:02,127 SURFING, DRIVING, MAKING 255 00:09:02,133 --> 00:09:03,433 DECISIONS, BEING TALL, TAKING 256 00:09:03,433 --> 00:09:05,473 OUT THE GARBAGE, TIPPING, 257 00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:08,427 FISHING, BEING FUNNY ON PURPOSE, 258 00:09:08,433 --> 00:09:09,273 REAPING A MAP, LISTENING TO GOOD 259 00:09:09,267 --> 00:09:12,297 BANDS, WRITING, RUNNING THE 260 00:09:12,300 --> 00:09:15,570 COUNTRY, INVENTING ANYTHING 261 00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:16,297 IMPORTANT, OR BEING FUN TO HANG 262 00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,400 OUT WITH. 263 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:19,900 DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LOVE 264 00:09:19,900 --> 00:09:20,700 WOMEN. 265 00:09:20,700 --> 00:09:21,870 I JUST THINK THEY SHOULD DRINK 266 00:09:21,867 --> 00:09:24,927 FROM A SEPARATE WATER FOUNTAIN. 267 00:09:24,933 --> 00:09:26,803 OKAY, ACTUALLY WOMEN MAY BE EVEN 268 00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:28,730 BETTER THAN MEN, BUT WE'LL NEVER 269 00:09:28,733 --> 00:09:30,673 REALLY KNOW SINCE THEY'RE 270 00:09:30,667 --> 00:09:33,967 SWINGING AT BIGGER BALLS, 271 00:09:33,967 --> 00:09:37,127 PLAYING FROM CLOSER TEES, DOING 272 00:09:37,133 --> 00:09:38,873 PUSH-UPS FROM THEIR KNEES, 273 00:09:38,867 --> 00:09:39,697 TAKING HALF THE BEATLE'S MONEY. 274 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,700 BITCHES, PLEASE! 275 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,070 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 276 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:49,697 THANK YOU. 277 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:50,430 BUT ONE THING WE CAN ALL AGREE 278 00:09:50,433 --> 00:09:51,173 ON IS THAT WOMEN ARE CAPABLE OF 279 00:09:51,167 --> 00:09:53,897 AMAZING THINGS. 280 00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,270 [AUDIENCE CHUCKLING] 281 00:09:55,267 --> 00:09:56,327 - YEAH! 282 00:09:56,333 --> 00:09:57,973 - SO WHEN I SAW BAILEY FAIL TO 283 00:09:57,967 --> 00:09:59,067 BREAK THROUGH HER OWN PERSONAL 284 00:09:59,067 --> 00:09:59,767 GLASS CEILING, I BROUGHT HER OUT 285 00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:01,867 TO L.A. 286 00:10:01,867 --> 00:10:04,127 TO GET HER BACK ON THAT BOARD IN 287 00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:04,933 THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION. 288 00:10:04,933 --> 00:10:08,333 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 289 00:10:08,333 --> 00:10:09,003 BAILEY! 290 00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,230 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 291 00:10:10,233 --> 00:10:12,033 I'M COMING! 292 00:10:12,033 --> 00:10:14,033 OH! 293 00:10:14,033 --> 00:10:15,633 [BLEEP] BITCH. 294 00:10:15,633 --> 00:10:17,473 SORRY I'M LATE. 295 00:10:17,467 --> 00:10:17,997 I HEELIED HERE. 296 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:18,570 HI, BAILEY. 297 00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:19,897 - HI. 298 00:10:19,900 --> 00:10:21,500 - THANK YOU FOR DOING THIS. 299 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:22,570 - NO PROBLEM. 300 00:10:22,567 --> 00:10:23,297 - YOUR FACE IS A LOT PRETTIER 301 00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,170 THAN I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA BE. 302 00:10:24,167 --> 00:10:24,997 - THANKS. 303 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:25,700 - AND YOU HAVE ALL YOUR TEETH. 304 00:10:25,700 --> 00:10:27,900 - YEAH. 305 00:10:27,900 --> 00:10:29,670 - USUALLY WHEN PEOPLE FALL TO 306 00:10:29,667 --> 00:10:31,927 THEIR FACE, THEIR FIRST INSTINCT 307 00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:33,503 IS TO PUT THEIR HANDS DOWN. 308 00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:34,530 AND YOU WENT FOR MORE OF A 309 00:10:34,533 --> 00:10:36,873 NESTEA PLUNGE. 310 00:10:36,867 --> 00:10:37,597 - I PLAY VOLLEYBALL, SO I'M--I 311 00:10:37,600 --> 00:10:38,370 PLAY-- 312 00:10:38,367 --> 00:10:39,267 I FALL ALL THE TIME. 313 00:10:39,267 --> 00:10:39,867 - YOU'RE USED TO DIVING. 314 00:10:39,867 --> 00:10:42,427 - I DIVE, YEAH. 315 00:10:42,433 --> 00:10:43,133 - HAVE YOU SKATEBOARDED SINCE? 316 00:10:43,133 --> 00:10:44,873 - EASY ANSWER, NO. 317 00:10:44,867 --> 00:10:45,497 - THAT WAS YOUR LAST RIDE? 318 00:10:45,500 --> 00:10:46,800 - YEAH. 319 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,600 - OH, THIS IS GONNA BE EXCITING. 320 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:50,470 WHAT A BETTER TIME THAN ON 321 00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:52,467 TELEVISION WITH ZERO PRESSURE? 322 00:10:52,467 --> 00:10:53,997 WHO UPLOADED THAT VIDEO? 323 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,770 - EITHER ALEX OR TAYLOR. 324 00:10:55,767 --> 00:10:56,497 - ARE YOU THINKING OF PRESSING 325 00:10:56,500 --> 00:10:56,870 CHARGES? 326 00:10:56,867 --> 00:10:59,097 - NO. 327 00:10:59,100 --> 00:10:59,870 THEY'RE MY FRIENDS, SO, I MEAN-- 328 00:10:59,867 --> 00:11:02,067 IT GOT ME HERE. 329 00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:05,367 - YEAH, YOU'VE MADE IT. 330 00:11:05,367 --> 00:11:06,497 - YOU KNOW WHAT I THOUGHT YOUR 331 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,770 WEB REDEMPTION SHOULD BE? 332 00:11:07,767 --> 00:11:08,667 INSTEAD OF SKATEBOARDING, IT WAS 333 00:11:08,667 --> 00:11:09,467 I GIVE YOU A COUPLE HUNDRED 334 00:11:09,467 --> 00:11:10,327 DOLLARS AND TELL YOU TO GO TO A 335 00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:11,073 MALL LIKE A NORMAL 17-YEAR-OLD 336 00:11:11,067 --> 00:11:12,327 GIRL. 337 00:11:12,333 --> 00:11:13,603 - [CHUCKLES] 338 00:11:13,600 --> 00:11:14,870 - ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE CLEARLY 339 00:11:14,867 --> 00:11:15,767 DRESSED FOR THIS, AND I THINK 340 00:11:15,767 --> 00:11:16,397 IT'S TIME WE GET YOU ON A 341 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:17,930 SKATEBOARD. 342 00:11:17,933 --> 00:11:18,833 OKAY, BAILEY, THIS IS PART OF 343 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,133 YOUR TRAINING. 344 00:11:20,133 --> 00:11:20,873 FIRST, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO LOSE 345 00:11:20,867 --> 00:11:21,927 YOUR ORIGINAL BOARD. 346 00:11:21,933 --> 00:11:23,473 I APPRECIATE YOU BRINGING IT OUT 347 00:11:23,467 --> 00:11:24,127 HERE, BUT YOU'RE GONNA GET 348 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,503 KILLED ON THAT THING. 349 00:11:25,500 --> 00:11:26,530 THIS OUTFIT ACTUALLY DOES FEEL 350 00:11:26,533 --> 00:11:28,073 GOOD FOR SKATEBOARDING. 351 00:11:28,067 --> 00:11:29,167 THIS IS ACTUALLY WHAT 352 00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,127 SKATEBOARDING'S ABOUT. 353 00:11:30,133 --> 00:11:31,303 WHOA. 354 00:11:31,300 --> 00:11:33,430 A LITTLE SPEED WOBBLE THERE. 355 00:11:33,433 --> 00:11:34,433 [LAUGHS] 356 00:11:34,433 --> 00:11:37,303 YOU LOOK RIDICULOUS. 357 00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:38,200 THREE HOURS ON HERE IS THE 358 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,070 APPROPRIATE AMOUNT OF CARDIO. 359 00:11:39,067 --> 00:11:39,927 I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 360 00:11:39,933 --> 00:11:40,773 - OKAY. 361 00:11:40,767 --> 00:11:44,567 - OKAY, KEEP IT GOING. 362 00:11:44,567 --> 00:11:47,597 MY FRIEND, CHRIS FAIRBANKS, 363 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:48,330 GREAT COMEDIAN ALSO THINKS HE'S 364 00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:53,403 A GREAT SKATEBOARDER. 365 00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:54,570 I'M GONNA HAVE HIM TRY TO OLLIE 366 00:11:54,567 --> 00:11:55,227 KICKFLIP ON THIS AT A HIGH 367 00:11:55,233 --> 00:12:00,073 SPEED. 368 00:12:00,067 --> 00:12:04,667 [LAUGHTER] 369 00:12:04,667 --> 00:12:05,727 YOU ALMOST MADE IT. 370 00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:09,873 - WALK IT OFF. 371 00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:10,927 - BAILEY, I WANT YOU TO MEET 372 00:12:10,933 --> 00:12:11,573 LYN-Z, THREE-TIME GOLD X 373 00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:12,197 CHAMPION. 374 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,170 - HI. 375 00:12:13,167 --> 00:12:15,067 - VERT SKATER. 376 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,397 I NEED, LYN-Z, YOU JUST TO GIVE 377 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:18,100 HER SOME ADVICE FOR BOMBING A 378 00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:19,830 BIG HILL. 379 00:12:19,833 --> 00:12:22,173 - KEEP YOUR WEIGHT REALLY 380 00:12:22,167 --> 00:12:22,867 CENTERED AND JUST STAY REALLY 381 00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:23,227 SOLID. 382 00:12:23,233 --> 00:12:23,903 - I THINK, BAILEY-- 383 00:12:23,900 --> 00:12:24,900 I THINK-- 384 00:12:24,900 --> 00:12:26,100 OH, YOU'RE IN GREAT HANDS. 385 00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:27,430 THIS IS GONNA BE FLAWLESS. 386 00:12:27,433 --> 00:12:29,733 WELCOME TO DEVIL'S BACKBONE. 387 00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:30,473 THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW, ARE YOU 388 00:12:30,467 --> 00:12:33,067 READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT? 389 00:12:33,067 --> 00:12:33,597 [LAUGHS] 390 00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:34,870 NO, I'M KIDDING. 391 00:12:34,867 --> 00:12:35,597 IT'D BE AWESOME IF YOU WENT FOR 392 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,930 IT THOUGH. 393 00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:39,673 OKAY, BAILEY, I THINK THIS IS A 394 00:12:39,667 --> 00:12:40,797 MORE MANAGEABLE HILL FOR YOU. 395 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:41,570 - I THINK SO. 396 00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:42,327 - ARE YOU NERVOUS? 397 00:12:42,333 --> 00:12:43,673 - YEAH, A LITTLE. 398 00:12:43,667 --> 00:12:44,427 - WELL, WE HAVE YOUR FATHER 399 00:12:44,433 --> 00:12:45,103 HERE. 400 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,100 HE'S WAITING AT THE FINISH LINE. 401 00:12:46,100 --> 00:12:46,670 GIVE HIM A WAVE. 402 00:12:46,667 --> 00:12:47,427 - HEY, DAD. 403 00:12:47,433 --> 00:12:48,133 - YEAH. 404 00:12:48,133 --> 00:12:49,073 ARE YOU EXCITED? 405 00:12:49,067 --> 00:12:50,067 - YEAH. 406 00:12:50,067 --> 00:12:50,727 - WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN 407 00:12:50,733 --> 00:12:52,073 HAPPEN? 408 00:12:52,067 --> 00:12:56,467 - I DON'T THINK ANYTHING COULD. 409 00:12:56,467 --> 00:12:57,197 - WELL, THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW, 410 00:12:57,200 --> 00:12:57,930 ARE YOU READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER 411 00:12:57,933 --> 00:12:58,703 SHOT? 412 00:12:58,700 --> 00:12:59,370 - I THINK SO. 413 00:12:59,367 --> 00:13:01,567 - YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT. 414 00:13:01,567 --> 00:13:02,727 I KNOW IT. 415 00:13:02,733 --> 00:13:03,333 GIVE YOU A LITTLE PUSH. 416 00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:04,903 - OKAY. 417 00:13:04,900 --> 00:13:06,770 WHEE. 418 00:13:06,767 --> 00:13:09,567 - SKATEBOARDING. 419 00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:12,967 LOOK AT HER GO. 420 00:13:12,967 --> 00:13:14,897 OUI, OUI, PARIS. 421 00:13:14,900 --> 00:13:18,730 THE GREAT WALL. 422 00:13:18,733 --> 00:13:20,073 THE BIG APPLE, YA [BLEEP]. 423 00:13:20,067 --> 00:13:21,867 - WOW, THIS IS SO COOL. 424 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,527 - FRISCO. 425 00:13:23,533 --> 00:13:26,903 - WHOO! 426 00:13:26,900 --> 00:13:29,930 OH, MY GOD! 427 00:13:29,933 --> 00:13:33,073 - THE TOUR DE FRANCE. 428 00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:34,927 PETER GALLAGHER'S EYEBROW. 429 00:13:34,933 --> 00:13:35,703 - JUST STAY CENTERED. 430 00:13:35,700 --> 00:13:37,530 YEAH! 431 00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:38,973 - OH, MY GOODNESS. 432 00:13:38,967 --> 00:13:42,067 THANK YOU. 433 00:13:42,067 --> 00:13:46,967 - KATIE COURIC'S COLON. 434 00:13:46,967 --> 00:13:48,527 - BAILEY, GO TO YOUR FATHER. 435 00:13:48,533 --> 00:13:51,433 GO TO YOUR FATHER. 436 00:13:51,433 --> 00:13:54,303 GO TO YOUR [BLEEP] FATHER. 437 00:13:54,300 --> 00:13:57,630 - CATCH ME, CATCH ME. 438 00:13:57,633 --> 00:13:58,703 [UPLIFTING MUSIC] 439 00:13:58,700 --> 00:14:00,770 WHOO! 440 00:14:00,767 --> 00:14:01,967 - GOOD JOB. 441 00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:03,197 GOOD JOB. 442 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:04,130 - YEAH. 443 00:14:04,133 --> 00:14:05,373 - YAY! 444 00:14:05,367 --> 00:14:06,467 YAY. 445 00:14:06,467 --> 00:14:08,067 YAY. 446 00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:08,797 - DAN. 447 00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:09,970 - OH, SORRY. 448 00:14:09,967 --> 00:14:14,127 - REDEEMED. 449 00:14:14,133 --> 00:14:14,873 DO YOU EVER WONDER HOW WE PICK 450 00:14:14,867 --> 00:14:16,267 PEOPLE FOR OUR WEB REDEMPTIONS? 451 00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,067 IT'S USUALLY THE PEOPLE THAT SAY 452 00:14:17,067 --> 00:14:20,627 YES. 453 00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:21,673 NOW HERE'S OUR WEB REDEMPTION'S 454 00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:28,367 MOST WANTED LIST. 455 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,297 - STOP IT! STOP IT! 456 00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:33,130 [GUNSHOT] 457 00:14:33,133 --> 00:14:33,873 - SHOOTS IT, AND BOOM GOES THE 458 00:14:33,867 --> 00:14:34,497 DYNAMITE. 459 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:36,230 - EW! 460 00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:42,633 - [GROANING] 461 00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:46,773 - LED TO CHRIS WOODS' DEATH. 462 00:14:46,767 --> 00:14:47,397 [GAGS] 463 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:48,070 [BLEEP] 464 00:14:48,067 --> 00:14:51,767 [AUDIENCE CHEERING] 465 00:14:51,767 --> 00:14:52,327 - DON'T JUST BE SORRY. 466 00:14:52,333 --> 00:14:53,533 THINK FOR ONE [BLEEP] SECOND. 467 00:14:53,533 --> 00:14:54,333 [HONKING SOUND] 468 00:14:54,333 --> 00:15:00,273 - AHH! 469 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:01,297 - HE'S A [BLEEP]! 470 00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,330 HE'S A [BLEEP]! 471 00:15:04,333 --> 00:15:05,673 - OH, WOW. 472 00:15:05,667 --> 00:15:06,427 FOR THE RECORD, I THINK 473 00:15:06,433 --> 00:15:08,773 TOURETTE'S GUY IS DEAD. 474 00:15:08,767 --> 00:15:10,567 BUT IF YOU CAN HELP US WITH 475 00:15:10,567 --> 00:15:11,627 ANYBODY ELSE, I'D LOVE IT. 476 00:15:11,633 --> 00:15:13,073 IF YOU KNOW ANYONE THAT NEEDS A 477 00:15:13,067 --> 00:15:14,067 WEB REDEMPTION, HAVE THEM 478 00:15:14,067 --> 00:15:16,227 CONTACT US AT 479 00:15:16,233 --> 00:15:17,073 COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0 AND 480 00:15:17,067 --> 00:15:19,497 WE'LL GIVE THEM A SECOND CHANCE. 481 00:15:19,500 --> 00:15:22,830 OR IN HIS CASE, A FOURTH CHANCE. 482 00:15:22,833 --> 00:15:24,073 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH YOUR 483 00:15:24,067 --> 00:15:25,697 POPCORN RESPONSE VIDEOS. 484 00:15:25,700 --> 00:15:26,670 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 485 00:15:26,667 --> 00:15:27,197 MALE ANNOUNCER: 486 00:15:27,200 --> 00:15:27,970 AND NOW IT'S TIME FOR THE PRANK 487 00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:31,067 OF THE WEEK. 488 00:15:31,067 --> 00:15:32,097 - AH! 489 00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:34,070 - [BLEEP] 490 00:15:34,067 --> 00:15:36,527 [BLEEP] WHOA. 491 00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:37,903 - [LAUGHS] 492 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:38,870 ANNOUNCER: AND THAT WAS THE 493 00:15:38,867 --> 00:15:40,097 PRANK OF THE WEEK, BROUGHT TO 494 00:15:40,100 --> 00:15:47,330 YOU BY BURGER KING. 495 00:15:47,333 --> 00:15:48,533 - EVERYTHING LOOKS COOLER. 496 00:15:48,533 --> 00:15:54,633 - THROUGH A FISHEYE LENS. 497 00:15:54,633 --> 00:15:55,333 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME CHECK MY 498 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,103 EMAILS - THROUGH A MOTHER[BLEEP] 499 00:15:56,100 --> 00:15:56,730 FISHEYE LENS. 500 00:15:56,733 --> 00:15:57,803 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME BREW A CUP 501 00:15:57,800 --> 00:15:59,170 OF GREEN TEA WITH PEPPERMINT. 502 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:00,827 - THROUGH A FISHEYE LENS. 503 00:16:00,833 --> 00:16:01,503 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME HANG A 504 00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:02,670 T-SHIRT. 505 00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:05,467 - THROUGH A FISHEYE LENS. 506 00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:06,227 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME PUT ON LIP 507 00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:06,673 BALM. 508 00:16:06,667 --> 00:16:07,297 - THROUGH A MOTHER[BLEEP] 509 00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,070 FISHEYE LENS. 510 00:16:09,067 --> 00:16:10,667 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME USE HAND 511 00:16:10,667 --> 00:16:11,367 SANITIZER TO PROTECT ME FROM 512 00:16:11,367 --> 00:16:12,127 GERMS. 513 00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:13,073 - THROUGH A MOTHER[BLEEP] 514 00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:16,327 FISHEYE LENS. 515 00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:17,703 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME REFILL A 516 00:16:17,700 --> 00:16:18,430 STAPLER. 517 00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:20,933 - THROUGH A FISHEYE LENS. 518 00:16:20,933 --> 00:16:21,873 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME EAT CEREAL 519 00:16:21,867 --> 00:16:22,397 WITH 1% MILK. 520 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,070 - THROUGH A FISHEYE LENS. 521 00:16:24,067 --> 00:16:25,227 - YOU'RE WATCHING ME READ AN 522 00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,203 OP-ED PIECE BY THOMAS FRIEDMAN. 523 00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,070 - THROUGH A FISHEYE LENS. 524 00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:33,627 [ROCK MUSIC] 525 00:16:33,633 --> 00:16:34,373 - EVERYTHING'S COOLER. 526 00:16:34,367 --> 00:16:37,067 - THROUGH A FISHEYE LENS. 527 00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:40,527 - YEAH. 528 00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:41,373 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 529 00:16:41,367 --> 00:16:43,067 EVERYTHING. 530 00:16:43,067 --> 00:16:46,667 FOR REAL? 531 00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:48,227 YOU GOTTA GET A HYPE MAN. 532 00:16:48,233 --> 00:16:49,573 HEY, GO TO OUR WEBSITE AND 533 00:16:49,567 --> 00:16:52,697 UPLOAD YOUR OWN FISHEYE VIDEOS. 534 00:16:52,700 --> 00:16:54,470 I CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH THOSE, 535 00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:55,127 AMERICA, AND CANADA, A WEEK 536 00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,803 LATER. 537 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,770 AND SPEAKING OF HOMEWORK, LAST 538 00:16:58,767 --> 00:17:00,127 WEEK WE DEBUTED MY POPCORN 539 00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:01,133 CHALLENGE VIDEO, AND I ASKED YOU 540 00:17:01,133 --> 00:17:03,503 TO MAKE YOUR OWN. 541 00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:04,900 WELL, WE GOT A LOT OF 542 00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:06,730 SUBMISSIONS. 543 00:17:06,733 --> 00:17:07,473 AND I LEARNED THAT OUR FANS ARE 544 00:17:07,467 --> 00:17:08,797 SEVEN. 545 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,500 HERE'S SOME OF THE HIGHLIGHTS. 546 00:17:10,500 --> 00:17:12,770 - THIS IS THE POPCORN CHALLENGE. 547 00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:23,827 [TECHNO MUSIC] 548 00:17:23,833 --> 00:17:27,333 [AUDIENCE OOHS] 549 00:17:27,333 --> 00:17:52,303 - YES! 550 00:17:52,300 --> 00:17:52,930 - YES! 551 00:17:52,933 --> 00:17:53,473 YES! 552 00:17:53,467 --> 00:17:54,427 - OH, MY GOD, WE DID IT! 553 00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:55,733 - THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! 554 00:17:55,733 --> 00:17:59,073 YES! 555 00:17:59,067 --> 00:17:59,727 - OH, COME ON. 556 00:17:59,733 --> 00:18:00,473 ACT LIKE YOU'VE BEEN THERE 557 00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:03,097 BEFORE. 558 00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:03,800 THANKS, AND KEEP THE VIDEOS 559 00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:04,830 COMING. 560 00:18:04,833 --> 00:18:06,973 DON'T FORGET TO GO TO OUR 561 00:18:06,967 --> 00:18:08,967 WEBSITE COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0 562 00:18:08,967 --> 00:18:10,127 AND UPLOAD YOUR OWN VIDEO FOR A 563 00:18:10,133 --> 00:18:10,873 CHANCE TO BE OUR VIEWER VIDEO OF 564 00:18:10,867 --> 00:18:11,927 THE WEEK. 565 00:18:11,933 --> 00:18:13,903 THIS WEEK'S SUBMISSION COMES TO 566 00:18:13,900 --> 00:18:19,200 US FROM ADAMBOBROW.COM. 567 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:19,700 - WHOO! 568 00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:20,700 YEAH! 569 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,200 WHOO! 570 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:22,900 YES! 571 00:18:22,900 --> 00:18:34,470 YES! 572 00:18:34,467 --> 00:18:44,697 - OH, MY GOD. 573 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:45,430 - YOU LOST, YOU LOST, YOU LOST. 574 00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:47,473 HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LOSE? 575 00:18:47,467 --> 00:18:47,967 [GRUNTING] 576 00:18:47,967 --> 00:18:50,627 WHOO! WHOO! 577 00:18:50,633 --> 00:19:07,803 [GRUNTS] 578 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:16,430 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 579 00:19:16,433 --> 00:19:20,273 - OH, I SMELL A RALLY. 580 00:19:20,267 --> 00:19:21,767 THANKS, ADAM. 581 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:22,897 WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MORE 582 00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:26,230 WEEKENDS AT THE D.L. 583 00:19:26,233 --> 00:19:35,873 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 584 00:19:35,867 --> 00:19:36,197 - OH. 585 00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,300 WELCOME BACK, MEAT SPINNERS. 586 00:19:38,300 --> 00:19:40,100 MAKE SURE YOU GO TO OUR WEBSITE 587 00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:44,070 COMEDYCENTRAL.COM/TOSH.0 TO KEEP 588 00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:44,767 UP WITH OUR BLOG AND SEND US 589 00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:45,327 YOUR VIDEOS. 590 00:19:45,333 --> 00:19:46,173 PLEASE FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND 591 00:19:46,167 --> 00:19:48,067 CHECK MY TOUR SCHEDULE. 592 00:19:48,067 --> 00:19:49,767 AND NOW THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL 593 00:19:49,767 --> 00:19:50,897 BEEN WAITING FOR, SOME 594 00:19:50,900 --> 00:19:51,570 NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN FOOTAGE. 595 00:19:51,567 --> 00:19:57,067 ENJOY. 596 00:19:57,067 --> 00:20:12,467 [SOFT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC] 597 00:20:12,467 --> 00:20:13,097 DID YOU ORDER A CODE 598 00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:16,670 RED? 599 00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:17,327 WHY DID THAT NOT MAKE AIR? 600 00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:18,373 OH. 601 00:20:18,367 --> 00:20:19,497 IF YOU CAN GUESS WHAT WE WERE 602 00:20:19,500 --> 00:20:20,230 LOOKING AT, WE WILL PUT YOU ON 603 00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:23,473 TELEVISION. 604 00:20:23,467 --> 00:20:24,567 HEY, I'M HAPPY TO ANNOUNCE WE'VE 605 00:20:24,567 --> 00:20:26,197 REACHED A MILESTONE. 606 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,900 WE ARE NEARING THE END OF 607 00:20:26,900 --> 00:20:30,630 EPISODE NUMBER TEN. 608 00:20:30,633 --> 00:20:31,333 SO THANK YOU TO EVERYONE, BUT 609 00:20:31,333 --> 00:20:32,073 MAINLY THE EXECUTIVES AT COMEDY 610 00:20:32,067 --> 00:20:32,727 CENTRAL, BECAUSE THEY HAVE 611 00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,873 ORDERED MORE. 612 00:20:34,867 --> 00:20:43,727 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 613 00:20:43,733 --> 00:20:44,473 YES, I KNOW. 614 00:20:44,467 --> 00:20:44,827 THANK YOU. 615 00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:45,373 [CHEERING CONTINUES] 616 00:20:45,367 --> 00:20:46,597 OKAY. 617 00:20:46,600 --> 00:20:47,330 SO I THOUGHT WE'D CELEBRATE BY 618 00:20:47,333 --> 00:20:47,973 TAKING A LOOK BACK AT THE 619 00:20:47,967 --> 00:20:48,697 GREATEST MOMENTS FROM THE SHOW 620 00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,230 SO FAR. 621 00:20:50,233 --> 00:20:51,003 THANKS FOR COMING OUT, YOU GUYS. 622 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:51,600 I APPRECIATE IT. 623 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:52,200 WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 624 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:53,030 GOOD NIGHT. 625 00:20:53,033 --> 00:20:53,633 GOOD NIGHT, YOU GUYS. 626 00:20:53,633 --> 00:20:54,333 I'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 627 00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:55,133 GOOD NIGHT. 628 00:20:55,133 --> 00:20:56,333 SEE YOU GUYS NEXT WEEK. 629 00:20:56,333 --> 00:20:57,103 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 630 00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,000 WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 631 00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:58,800 WE'LL SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 632 00:20:58,800 --> 00:20:59,570 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 633 00:20:59,567 --> 00:21:00,227 GOOD NIGHT. 634 00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:00,873 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 635 00:21:00,867 --> 00:21:01,397 GOOD NIGHT. 636 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,070 SEE YOU NEXT WEEK. 637 00:21:03,067 --> 00:21:04,697 GOOD NIGHT. 638 00:21:04,700 --> 00:21:20,370 [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] 38385

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.