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1
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(gentle melody playing)
2
00:00:54,106 --> 00:00:56,400
* *
3
00:01:03,366 --> 00:01:05,493
TIM:
Time is a funny thing.
4
00:01:05,534 --> 00:01:07,536
-When I was a kid...
-YOUNG TIM: One.
5
00:01:07,578 --> 00:01:09,246
-...the days lasted forever.
-Two.
6
00:01:09,288 --> 00:01:10,623
-Hide, hide, hide!
-Three.
7
00:01:10,665 --> 00:01:12,249
-TIM: But the years...
-Wait! Over here.
8
00:01:12,291 --> 00:01:13,584
-...well, they went by so fast.
-Four.
9
00:01:13,626 --> 00:01:15,461
-Five. Six.
-Tim, no peeking.
10
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TED SR.:
Yeah, no peeking.
11
00:01:16,837 --> 00:01:18,255
-TIM: Before you know it...
-Seven.
12
00:01:18,297 --> 00:01:19,632
-...you're all grown-up.
-Eight.
13
00:01:19,674 --> 00:01:21,592
-It even happened to me.
-Nine.
14
00:01:21,634 --> 00:01:23,594
Nine and a half. Ten!
15
00:01:23,636 --> 00:01:25,805
Ready or not, here I come.
(grunts)
16
00:01:25,846 --> 00:01:28,057
My name's Tim, and this...
17
00:01:28,099 --> 00:01:30,059
well, this isthe rest of my story.
18
00:01:30,101 --> 00:01:31,769
-(roars playfully)
-Run for your lives!
19
00:01:31,811 --> 00:01:33,437
(laughing):
No fair, Dad. You peeked.
20
00:01:33,479 --> 00:01:35,231
(laughter, squealing)
21
00:01:35,272 --> 00:01:37,400
-They call me a stay-at-homedad, which means...-Let's go!
22
00:01:37,441 --> 00:01:39,443
...I hardly getto stay at home.
23
00:01:39,485 --> 00:01:41,404
Buckle up, Templetons.
24
00:01:41,445 --> 00:01:43,030
Ready?
25
00:01:43,072 --> 00:01:44,740
-Set.
-Go!
26
00:01:44,782 --> 00:01:47,159
(engine roars, tires squeal)
27
00:01:47,201 --> 00:01:48,661
TIM:
Now, some might say
28
00:01:48,703 --> 00:01:50,913
I still havean overactive imagination,
29
00:01:50,955 --> 00:01:54,375
but being a dad isthe coolest job in the world.
30
00:01:54,417 --> 00:01:56,043
Bunch of cool jobs, really.
31
00:01:56,085 --> 00:01:57,670
(laughing)
32
00:01:57,712 --> 00:01:59,255
Sometimes I'ma race car driver.
33
00:01:59,296 --> 00:02:01,465
CAROL:
Whoo! Daddy-o Andretti!
34
00:02:01,507 --> 00:02:02,967
TABITHA:
Yay, Templetons!
35
00:02:03,009 --> 00:02:04,593
TIM (Southern accent):
Well, and then sometimes
36
00:02:04,635 --> 00:02:06,178
I'm the best darn cookin the county
37
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,471
and I deal out every meal.
38
00:02:07,513 --> 00:02:09,724
-Come on, Pa, hit me.
-(burps)
39
00:02:09,765 --> 00:02:11,600
-(chuckles) Tina.
-(Tina laughs)
40
00:02:11,642 --> 00:02:13,853
Whew, doggie!
And the house wins again.
41
00:02:13,894 --> 00:02:15,604
-(thunder crashes)
-CAROL: Yay! -TABITHA: Woo-hoo!
42
00:02:15,646 --> 00:02:18,232
TIM (spooky voice): Or asurgeon, if need be. (chuckles)
43
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-Spork.
-Spork.
44
00:02:20,276 --> 00:02:22,111
-Spatula.
-Spatula.
45
00:02:22,153 --> 00:02:25,698
Give my creature life!
46
00:02:25,740 --> 00:02:28,492
-(growling)
-(Carol and Tabitha gasp)
47
00:02:28,534 --> 00:02:29,994
She's alive!
48
00:02:30,036 --> 00:02:32,288
TIM: We have our ups,and we have our downs.
49
00:02:32,330 --> 00:02:33,664
-(whimpers)
-No, no, no. Look. Look.
50
00:02:33,706 --> 00:02:34,957
-Lamb Lamb's okay. See?
-Yay!
51
00:02:34,999 --> 00:02:36,792
TIM:
But we always stick together.
52
00:02:36,834 --> 00:02:38,961
-My wife, Carol.
-It's a miracle!
53
00:02:39,003 --> 00:02:40,921
TIM: She's thebreadwinner of the family.
54
00:02:40,963 --> 00:02:42,840
-(applause) -Thank you.
You know what they say:
55
00:02:42,882 --> 00:02:44,550
-"It's all about the dough."
-(laughter)
56
00:02:44,592 --> 00:02:46,469
And I couldn't have done it
without my husband.
57
00:02:46,510 --> 00:02:48,054
He really rose to the occasion.
58
00:02:48,095 --> 00:02:50,306
-It's the yeast I can do.
-(cheering) -Yeah, Mama!
59
00:02:50,348 --> 00:02:52,516
TIM:
She brings home the bacon, too,
60
00:02:52,558 --> 00:02:54,727
while I keep an eyeon our new baby, Tina.
61
00:02:54,769 --> 00:02:56,729
(chuckles):But sometimes, feels like
62
00:02:56,771 --> 00:02:58,689
she's keeping an eye on me.
63
00:02:58,731 --> 00:03:00,316
-And Tabitha...
-Thank you!
64
00:03:00,358 --> 00:03:02,485
...our little second-graderwho just got accepted
65
00:03:02,526 --> 00:03:04,111
-into the best school in town.
-(laughter)
66
00:03:04,153 --> 00:03:05,446
Yay, Tabitha!
67
00:03:05,488 --> 00:03:06,947
TIM:
We're so proud.
68
00:03:06,989 --> 00:03:08,616
I still keep in touchwith the old gang, too.
69
00:03:08,658 --> 00:03:10,159
Believe it or not,Jimbo is mayor now.
70
00:03:10,201 --> 00:03:11,911
-BOTH: Cookie!
-Of course, his wife, Staci,
71
00:03:11,952 --> 00:03:13,746
is the real brainsbehind the operation.
72
00:03:13,788 --> 00:03:15,623
-MAN: Yo, Jimbo!
-Now, the Triplets...
73
00:03:15,665 --> 00:03:17,041
-* Busted... *
-* Busted... *
74
00:03:17,083 --> 00:03:18,668
-* Busted. *
-(sirens wailing)
75
00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:20,336
TIM: Yeah,they haven't changed much.
76
00:03:20,378 --> 00:03:22,213
And as formy baby brother, Ted,
77
00:03:22,254 --> 00:03:24,340
well, he grew upto be the boss, all right.
78
00:03:24,382 --> 00:03:26,926
-He's so busy we hardly seehim anymore.-(toy squeaking)
79
00:03:26,967 --> 00:03:28,761
-(phone rings)
-But, hey, he always remembers
80
00:03:28,803 --> 00:03:31,222
to send inappropriatelylavish gifts
81
00:03:31,263 --> 00:03:33,015
-on special occasions.
-(Tabitha squeals)
82
00:03:33,057 --> 00:03:35,851
-OMG! Uncle Ted is the best!
-(neighing)
83
00:03:35,893 --> 00:03:38,020
-(clatters)
-(Tim gasps)
84
00:03:38,062 --> 00:03:39,188
(sighs)
85
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:40,648
TIM:
All in all,
86
00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:42,566
my life is pretty perfect.
87
00:03:42,608 --> 00:03:43,901
(insects trilling,
birds chirping)
88
00:03:43,943 --> 00:03:46,153
But all thatwas about to change.
89
00:03:46,195 --> 00:03:48,197
(yelps, gasps)
90
00:03:48,239 --> 00:03:49,448
Good heavens.
91
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:51,617
I'll save you!
92
00:03:51,659 --> 00:03:53,619
-Ha!
-(Tina screams, laughs)
93
00:03:53,661 --> 00:03:55,204
Thanks, babe.
94
00:03:55,246 --> 00:03:56,622
Stay calm, Tabitha.
95
00:03:56,664 --> 00:03:58,082
I'm coming for you.
96
00:03:58,124 --> 00:04:02,086
I'm gonna save you
from the bubbling lava!
97
00:04:02,128 --> 00:04:03,713
Dad, what are you doing?
98
00:04:03,754 --> 00:04:06,132
Ew, gross. It went everywhere.
99
00:04:06,173 --> 00:04:08,718
Come on, this is
the candy volcano of doom!
100
00:04:08,759 --> 00:04:10,928
You used to love it.
(mimics explosion)
101
00:04:10,970 --> 00:04:13,055
But I'm trying
to do my homework,
102
00:04:13,097 --> 00:04:14,557
or I'm doomed.
103
00:04:14,598 --> 00:04:16,309
Oh.
104
00:04:16,350 --> 00:04:18,519
Because if there'sone thing I've learned,
105
00:04:18,561 --> 00:04:20,229
you're only a kid once.
106
00:04:20,271 --> 00:04:23,607
Once you grow up,you can never go back.
107
00:04:23,649 --> 00:04:26,569
(babbling)
108
00:04:26,610 --> 00:04:28,821
Ee...!
109
00:04:29,905 --> 00:04:31,615
(grunts)
110
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(gasps) Oh, no.
111
00:04:36,954 --> 00:04:39,040
Good night, Dr. Hawking.
112
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:47,131
Carbon, boron, beryllium,
lithium, helium, hydrogen.
113
00:04:47,173 --> 00:04:49,216
Nailed it.
114
00:04:49,258 --> 00:04:51,135
Boom shakalaka.
115
00:04:53,220 --> 00:04:54,680
(laughs)
116
00:04:54,722 --> 00:04:56,766
"Carry the four."
(chuckles) Gosh.
117
00:04:56,807 --> 00:04:58,392
-TIM: Hey there, Tabitha.
-(Carol whoops, Tina laughs)
118
00:04:58,434 --> 00:04:59,935
It's The Good Night Show.
119
00:04:59,977 --> 00:05:02,855
Live from your bedroom,
starring Dad and Mom.
120
00:05:02,897 --> 00:05:05,608
-And special guest, baby Tina.
-(laughing)
121
00:05:05,650 --> 00:05:07,777
Good night, little Tina. Mwah!
122
00:05:07,818 --> 00:05:09,570
Come back here, you.
(chuckles)
123
00:05:09,612 --> 00:05:11,155
-Good night, Mom.
-Mwah!
124
00:05:11,197 --> 00:05:12,823
Good night, sweetheart.
Mama's gonna kiss you.
125
00:05:12,865 --> 00:05:14,283
-Mama gonna kiss you.
-(Tim clears throat)
126
00:05:14,325 --> 00:05:15,493
* Good night song *
127
00:05:15,534 --> 00:05:16,994
-* With your dad... *
-What?
128
00:05:17,036 --> 00:05:18,621
What? It's time for
your good-night song.
129
00:05:18,663 --> 00:05:20,331
Oh, no, thanks.
130
00:05:20,373 --> 00:05:22,708
I'm listening to white noise!
131
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:24,293
Helps me fall asleep!
132
00:05:24,335 --> 00:05:26,462
(mimicking white noise)
133
00:05:26,504 --> 00:05:28,673
Hey, what would you say
134
00:05:28,714 --> 00:05:31,634
to me helping you rehearse
for the holiday pageant?
135
00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:33,094
-(gasps)
-Yes! Right?
136
00:05:33,135 --> 00:05:34,971
I can come to school with you,
and you can get
137
00:05:35,012 --> 00:05:36,639
all your friends together,
and we can rehearse together,
138
00:05:36,681 --> 00:05:38,641
go get some ice cream after.
139
00:05:38,683 --> 00:05:40,726
-My treat.
-No! You can't do that.
140
00:05:40,768 --> 00:05:42,770
Um, liability issues.
141
00:05:42,812 --> 00:05:44,647
It's this whole thing.
142
00:05:44,689 --> 00:05:46,983
Oh. Right, right.
(chuckles)
143
00:05:47,024 --> 00:05:48,234
Right.
144
00:05:48,275 --> 00:05:50,861
Whoa. How about your favorite
bedtime story?
145
00:05:50,903 --> 00:05:52,780
You know, the one about...
146
00:05:52,822 --> 00:05:54,865
Uncle Ted was
a magical talking baby.
147
00:05:54,907 --> 00:05:56,909
There was a rocket
full of puppies,
148
00:05:56,951 --> 00:05:58,911
-and you saved the world.
-(shushing)
149
00:05:58,953 --> 00:06:00,329
It was a good story, wasn't it?
150
00:06:00,371 --> 00:06:04,375
Well, it didn't really make
a lot of sense.
151
00:06:04,417 --> 00:06:06,168
The jokes were good, right?
152
00:06:06,210 --> 00:06:07,628
Mm.
153
00:06:07,670 --> 00:06:09,672
-Okay. Um...
-Dad.
154
00:06:09,714 --> 00:06:10,965
(yawns)
155
00:06:11,007 --> 00:06:13,342
My schedule is brutal tomorrow.
156
00:06:13,384 --> 00:06:16,345
(grunting): Yeah. My schedule's
pretty brutal, too.
157
00:06:16,387 --> 00:06:18,347
Oh, don't forget Lamb Lamb.
158
00:06:18,389 --> 00:06:20,182
Good night, Lamb Lamb.
159
00:06:20,224 --> 00:06:22,101
(kisses)
Good night, Uncle Ted.
160
00:06:22,143 --> 00:06:24,937
I hope to grow up and be
a success, just like you.
161
00:06:24,979 --> 00:06:27,231
Maybe we'll see you soon.
162
00:06:31,319 --> 00:06:33,237
Good night, Tabitha.
163
00:06:34,280 --> 00:06:37,241
Don't you think
I'm a little old for that now?
164
00:06:38,409 --> 00:06:39,910
Uh, okay.
165
00:06:39,952 --> 00:06:42,455
I think it's time
we both grow up.
166
00:06:42,496 --> 00:06:45,833
I look forward to greeting you
at the breakfast table.
167
00:06:51,922 --> 00:06:54,133
Sweet dreams.
168
00:07:10,149 --> 00:07:12,026
Hmm.
169
00:07:13,319 --> 00:07:15,404
* *
170
00:07:21,452 --> 00:07:23,746
Where has the time gone?
171
00:07:23,788 --> 00:07:26,207
WIZZIE:
How should I know? (grunts)
172
00:07:26,248 --> 00:07:29,001
-Wait, wait. I see light.
-(toy train tooting)
173
00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:31,962
You, oh, out of my way.
(yells)
174
00:07:32,004 --> 00:07:34,090
(gasps) At long last.
175
00:07:34,131 --> 00:07:36,801
The sweet breath of freedom.
176
00:07:36,842 --> 00:07:38,052
Wizzie?
177
00:07:38,094 --> 00:07:39,762
You there,
what century is this?
178
00:07:39,804 --> 00:07:42,098
(shudders)
Unhand me, vile ogre!
179
00:07:42,139 --> 00:07:43,683
No, no, no, no.
Wizzie, it's me.
180
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:45,226
-It's Tim.
-(gasps)
181
00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:47,186
Is it really you?
182
00:07:47,228 --> 00:07:48,854
Come closer.
183
00:07:48,896 --> 00:07:50,815
Let me see your face.
184
00:07:50,856 --> 00:07:52,608
Closer.
185
00:07:52,650 --> 00:07:54,694
Closer still.
186
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,529
Oh, Timothy.
187
00:07:56,570 --> 00:07:57,780
It is you.
188
00:07:57,822 --> 00:07:59,490
Hey! What was that for?
189
00:07:59,532 --> 00:08:01,701
You cast me into
eternal darkness
190
00:08:01,742 --> 00:08:04,620
and wreaked havoc
on my circadian rhythms.
191
00:08:04,662 --> 00:08:05,955
I'm sorry, Wizzie.
192
00:08:05,997 --> 00:08:07,623
Hey, but you look great,
though.
193
00:08:07,665 --> 00:08:09,834
Except for the arm, you mean.
194
00:08:09,875 --> 00:08:11,127
(chuckles)
I didn't even notice.
195
00:08:11,168 --> 00:08:12,545
-You thought it.
-I mean, I noticed it,
196
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:14,171
'cause I... you obviously
don't have an arm. I-I...
197
00:08:14,213 --> 00:08:16,090
You would never treat
Lamb Lamb this way.
198
00:08:16,132 --> 00:08:18,884
Well, I... I gave her
to my daughter, Tabitha.
199
00:08:18,926 --> 00:08:20,678
You have produced
an heir, Timothy?
200
00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,013
Two, actually.
201
00:08:22,054 --> 00:08:23,556
Two? Let the bells ring!
202
00:08:23,597 --> 00:08:24,932
(bells jingling,
alarms blaring)
203
00:08:24,974 --> 00:08:26,600
-No, no, no. Wizzie, stop.
-Yes! Yes!
204
00:08:26,642 --> 00:08:28,477
-Wizzie, shh! Quiet, quiet.
-It's a time for celebration!
205
00:08:28,519 --> 00:08:30,479
No, no, no. It's not
the time for celebration.
206
00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:32,189
-Wizzie, shh. Be quiet.
-What? What is it?
207
00:08:32,231 --> 00:08:34,108
-What is it, Tim?
-I don't know.
208
00:08:34,150 --> 00:08:35,943
-(alarms stop)
-I guess I'm just not feeling
209
00:08:35,985 --> 00:08:38,070
very celebratory right now.
210
00:08:38,112 --> 00:08:39,989
Oh?
211
00:08:40,031 --> 00:08:41,824
Tabitha. (sighs)
212
00:08:41,866 --> 00:08:45,995
Man, Wizzie,
she's growing up so fast.
213
00:08:46,037 --> 00:08:48,039
It's like she doesn't even
need me anymore.
214
00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:51,625
Yes, first, they start
spending less time with you.
215
00:08:51,667 --> 00:08:53,085
TIM:
Mm.
216
00:08:53,127 --> 00:08:55,296
Then they stop coming
to you for advice.
217
00:08:55,338 --> 00:08:56,297
Exactly.
218
00:08:56,339 --> 00:08:58,424
Soon, they take you
for granted.
219
00:08:58,466 --> 00:08:59,842
I guess.
220
00:08:59,884 --> 00:09:01,802
-Then break your arm.
-What?
221
00:09:01,844 --> 00:09:03,387
Then stuff you into a box!
222
00:09:03,429 --> 00:09:05,348
Okay. Wizzie, you're...
you're not helping.
223
00:09:05,389 --> 00:09:06,641
(Wizzie scoffs)
224
00:09:06,682 --> 00:09:08,017
Okay, I'm just... I'm afraid
225
00:09:08,059 --> 00:09:10,102
Tabitha and I
are growing apart,
226
00:09:10,144 --> 00:09:13,189
like... like I did
with my brother.
227
00:09:13,230 --> 00:09:14,899
Oh.
228
00:09:14,940 --> 00:09:17,985
I thought we had
all the time in the world.
229
00:09:18,027 --> 00:09:20,696
But you can't
turn back time, can you?
230
00:09:20,738 --> 00:09:23,324
How dare you question my power!
231
00:09:23,366 --> 00:09:26,744
-Turn back. Turn back.
-Oh, here we go.
232
00:09:26,786 --> 00:09:29,372
-Oh, great wheel of li...
-Wait. (shushes)
233
00:09:29,413 --> 00:09:31,207
-(Wizzie snoring)
-Did you hear that?
234
00:09:31,248 --> 00:09:34,210
(gasps)
Never abuse the snooze button!
235
00:09:34,251 --> 00:09:36,295
(shushes) It sounds like it's
coming from the baby's room.
236
00:09:36,337 --> 00:09:38,297
What is it?
A creature of the night?
237
00:09:38,339 --> 00:09:41,384
Witches? Is it the baying
of the hounds of hell?
238
00:09:41,425 --> 00:09:42,718
Wizzie!
239
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:43,886
Don't go, Tim!
240
00:09:43,928 --> 00:09:45,471
I can turn back time--
241
00:09:45,513 --> 00:09:49,058
to the golden years,
when it was just you and me.
242
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:50,726
My good arm.
243
00:09:50,768 --> 00:09:52,478
Don't open the door.
244
00:09:52,520 --> 00:09:54,397
(fading in distance):
Remember last time!
245
00:09:54,438 --> 00:09:56,941
(muffled voice
speaking indistinctly)
246
00:09:58,109 --> 00:10:00,111
AUTOMATED VOICE: If you would
like to make a call,
247
00:10:00,152 --> 00:10:01,612
please hang up and try again.
248
00:10:01,654 --> 00:10:05,783
If you need help, hang up
and then dial your operator.
249
00:10:05,825 --> 00:10:07,576
Thank you.
250
00:10:07,618 --> 00:10:08,744
(whispers):
Hello?
251
00:10:08,786 --> 00:10:10,329
If you would like
to make a call,
252
00:10:10,371 --> 00:10:12,999
-please hang up and try again.
-Ah. Just my phone.
253
00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,126
Get it together, man.
254
00:10:15,167 --> 00:10:17,461
Oh, Tina, you little klepto...
255
00:10:17,503 --> 00:10:19,547
Nighty night.
256
00:10:19,588 --> 00:10:20,756
...maniac!
257
00:10:20,798 --> 00:10:23,259
(rapid babbling)
258
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:24,427
Whoa!
259
00:10:24,468 --> 00:10:27,179
Hi, Daddy.
260
00:10:27,221 --> 00:10:29,265
T-Tabitha? Is that you?
261
00:10:29,307 --> 00:10:30,516
(laughing)
262
00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:31,934
(gasps)
263
00:10:31,976 --> 00:10:33,978
(laughing):
You should've seen your face.
264
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,855
Oh, it's priceless.
265
00:10:35,896 --> 00:10:37,356
You're... You... You-you...
266
00:10:37,398 --> 00:10:39,775
(mock gasping)
267
00:10:39,817 --> 00:10:41,277
You-you can talk?
268
00:10:41,319 --> 00:10:43,446
Yep.
I'm in the family business.
269
00:10:43,487 --> 00:10:46,115
(whispers):
It's a clip-on tie. (shushes)
270
00:10:46,157 --> 00:10:48,409
You see, Daddy,
BabyCorp is more of what I...
271
00:10:48,451 --> 00:10:50,077
Oops.
272
00:10:50,119 --> 00:10:52,455
Daddy, Daddy, come in.
Can you hear me?
273
00:10:52,496 --> 00:10:54,081
-Daddy, do you read me?
-(Tim groaning)
274
00:10:54,123 --> 00:10:55,791
Daddy, how many fingers
am I holding up?
275
00:10:55,833 --> 00:10:57,001
Thursday?
276
00:10:57,043 --> 00:10:58,294
I should've given you
a warning.
277
00:10:58,336 --> 00:10:59,837
I forgot you were an old man.
278
00:10:59,879 --> 00:11:01,339
(yells, spits)
279
00:11:01,380 --> 00:11:02,340
Wait, wait.
280
00:11:02,381 --> 00:11:04,216
-You're from BabyCorp?
-Yes.
281
00:11:04,258 --> 00:11:06,218
BabyCorp is more of what I call
282
00:11:06,260 --> 00:11:08,054
-a side hustle for me.
-Uh-huh.
283
00:11:08,095 --> 00:11:10,139
The point is I'm all in
on the Templetons.
284
00:11:10,181 --> 00:11:11,641
-Go, Templetons!
-Oh! Okay.
285
00:11:11,682 --> 00:11:13,476
You guys really know
how to baby a baby.
286
00:11:13,517 --> 00:11:15,061
-I mean, it's incredible.
-Oh, oh. (chuckles)
287
00:11:15,102 --> 00:11:16,646
Not that's it's all five-star.
288
00:11:16,687 --> 00:11:18,648
-I have to say, you got
a lot of issues. -Sure. Yeah.
289
00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:19,857
We'll talk about that later.
290
00:11:19,899 --> 00:11:21,275
Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe this.
291
00:11:21,317 --> 00:11:23,444
Hey, want to go scare
the crap out of Mom?
292
00:11:23,486 --> 00:11:25,404
-Daddy, please stay focused.
-(chuckles) Oh.
293
00:11:25,446 --> 00:11:26,947
(grunts)
Right, right, right.
294
00:11:26,989 --> 00:11:28,658
There's a crisis at BabyCorp.
295
00:11:28,699 --> 00:11:29,784
What is it this time?
296
00:11:29,825 --> 00:11:30,826
(gasps) Kittens?
297
00:11:30,868 --> 00:11:32,953
No. This time, it's even worse.
298
00:11:32,995 --> 00:11:34,205
-Worse than kittens?
-Yes.
299
00:11:34,246 --> 00:11:35,998
That's why I volunteered for
300
00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:37,875
-this supersecret assignment.
-TOY: Mommy.
301
00:11:37,917 --> 00:11:39,794
Ooh, I want to help.
What-what do you want me to do?
302
00:11:39,835 --> 00:11:41,337
That's the spirit, Daddy.
303
00:11:41,379 --> 00:11:44,173
-You are exactly who I need.
-Yes!
304
00:11:44,215 --> 00:11:45,966
To get Uncle Ted.
305
00:11:46,008 --> 00:11:47,677
No. What?
306
00:11:47,718 --> 00:11:49,178
What-What's with the face?
307
00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:51,681
Daddy, BabyCorp can't wait
any longer.
308
00:11:51,722 --> 00:11:52,974
All the pressure's on me, Pop.
309
00:11:53,015 --> 00:11:55,184
When I volunteered
for this gig,
310
00:11:55,226 --> 00:11:57,103
I thought it would be easy.
311
00:11:57,144 --> 00:11:58,688
But you two never
see each other.
312
00:11:58,729 --> 00:12:00,272
It's so sad.
313
00:12:00,314 --> 00:12:02,483
It's like, "F-minus.
See me after class."
314
00:12:02,525 --> 00:12:03,693
(gargles)
315
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,027
Sad? Uh, yeah, maybe.
316
00:12:05,069 --> 00:12:06,237
A little. I don't know.
317
00:12:06,278 --> 00:12:07,655
Did you forget to call him?
318
00:12:07,697 --> 00:12:09,573
I noticed you can be
a little absentminded.
319
00:12:09,615 --> 00:12:10,950
Sorry, what?
320
00:12:10,992 --> 00:12:12,702
It's just that you tend
to procrastinate.
321
00:12:12,743 --> 00:12:14,870
-You have to get him here for
the holidays. -(line ringing)
322
00:12:14,912 --> 00:12:16,163
-No, I'm not...
-(ringing stops)
323
00:12:16,205 --> 00:12:17,581
No, I'm not
gonna call him right now.
324
00:12:17,623 --> 00:12:19,041
-Daddy, can't never could.
-No. -(line ringing)
325
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:20,418
Did you two have
a fight or something?
326
00:12:20,459 --> 00:12:22,211
-No.
-But you're mad at him?
327
00:12:22,253 --> 00:12:24,505
-Stop that. It's complicated.
-(ringing stops)
328
00:12:24,547 --> 00:12:26,632
-Why? Do you need help using
your phone? -(line ringing)
329
00:12:26,674 --> 00:12:28,384
-No, I don't need help
using my... -(ringing stops)
330
00:12:28,426 --> 00:12:29,927
-Okay. What's the problem?
-(sighs) -(line ringing)
331
00:12:29,969 --> 00:12:31,429
What's the issue?
Talk to me.
332
00:12:31,470 --> 00:12:33,180
-There's no point, okay?
-(ringing stops)
333
00:12:33,222 --> 00:12:35,224
I call him. I invite him.
He never shows up.
334
00:12:35,266 --> 00:12:37,226
He's always got a work meeting
or a business trip
335
00:12:37,268 --> 00:12:38,894
or a conference call.
336
00:12:38,936 --> 00:12:40,771
All he cares about is work.
337
00:12:40,813 --> 00:12:44,734
But after a while, you...
you just stop trying.
338
00:12:44,775 --> 00:12:46,944
-He's still your brother.
-(line ringing)
339
00:12:46,986 --> 00:12:49,238
You were partners.
340
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:50,990
-Yeah, I guess sometimes
you just... -(ringing stops)
341
00:12:51,032 --> 00:12:55,119
you grow up and grow apart.
342
00:12:56,912 --> 00:12:58,205
-(line ringing)
-(gasps)
343
00:12:58,247 --> 00:12:59,874
Daddy, don't say no.
344
00:12:59,915 --> 00:13:01,292
What if everybody said no?
345
00:13:01,334 --> 00:13:02,460
Nothing would happen.
346
00:13:02,501 --> 00:13:03,878
Nothing would get
off the ground.
347
00:13:03,919 --> 00:13:05,212
You got to wake up every day
348
00:13:05,254 --> 00:13:07,006
and you got to say,
"Yes, yes, yes!"
349
00:13:07,048 --> 00:13:10,426
Surprise me. Say yes.
350
00:13:10,468 --> 00:13:11,594
(sighs)
351
00:13:11,635 --> 00:13:12,470
(ringing stops)
352
00:13:12,511 --> 00:13:15,097
This is really disappointing.
353
00:13:15,139 --> 00:13:17,391
-And now I'm getting mad!
-It's late.
354
00:13:17,433 --> 00:13:19,477
We can work on this
tomorrow, okay?
355
00:13:19,518 --> 00:13:21,187
-(grunts)
-(toy squeaks)
356
00:13:21,228 --> 00:13:24,106
Oh. Whoopsie.
Your little horsey fell off.
357
00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:26,651
Another day won't hurt, right?
358
00:13:27,652 --> 00:13:29,153
Good night, sweetie.
359
00:13:29,195 --> 00:13:30,905
-(door closes)
-(scoffs)
360
00:13:32,239 --> 00:13:33,491
(tape rewinding)
361
00:13:33,532 --> 00:13:34,950
TIM (recorded):
Good night, sweetie.
362
00:13:34,992 --> 00:13:36,786
-...horsey fell off.
-(rewinding)
363
00:13:36,827 --> 00:13:38,454
Tabitha?
364
00:13:41,666 --> 00:13:43,709
* *
365
00:13:51,175 --> 00:13:53,302
(low rumbling,
objects rattling)
366
00:13:55,638 --> 00:13:56,806
Huh?
367
00:13:56,847 --> 00:13:58,683
(gasps, squeals)
368
00:14:12,697 --> 00:14:14,740
* *
369
00:14:26,127 --> 00:14:27,712
Uh, don't worry. I got it.
370
00:14:27,753 --> 00:14:29,588
-(Tim yells, groans)
-Where is she? Where is she?
371
00:14:29,630 --> 00:14:31,340
-Where's who? What?
-I came as fast as I could.
372
00:14:31,382 --> 00:14:32,883
-Ted?
-I canceled all my meetings.
373
00:14:32,925 --> 00:14:34,844
What are you doing here?
(grunts) Why are you yelling?
374
00:14:34,885 --> 00:14:36,095
-Where's Tabitha?
-Tabitha?
375
00:14:36,137 --> 00:14:37,513
-Where is she, Tim?
-CAROL: Ted.
376
00:14:37,555 --> 00:14:39,181
Uncle Ted, you're here!
You're really here.
377
00:14:39,223 --> 00:14:40,766
-Which arm is it?
Left or right? -Huh?
378
00:14:40,808 --> 00:14:42,685
-Is it your fibula? Talk to me.
-Whoa.
379
00:14:42,727 --> 00:14:44,353
-Good dilation. Open up.
-(groans)
380
00:14:44,395 --> 00:14:46,272
-Say, "Ah." Are you okay?
-Wh-What are you doing?
381
00:14:46,314 --> 00:14:47,565
-You look okay.
-Whoa.
382
00:14:47,606 --> 00:14:49,358
Don't worry.
I'm fine, Uncle Ted.
383
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,694
-That's my girl.
-Woo-hoo.
384
00:14:51,736 --> 00:14:53,321
Uh, wh-what brings you
into town?
385
00:14:53,362 --> 00:14:54,697
Well, Tabitha fell
off her pony.
386
00:14:54,739 --> 00:14:56,532
-She did?
-She did?
387
00:14:56,574 --> 00:14:57,533
I did?
388
00:14:57,575 --> 00:14:59,702
-Tim left me a voice mail.
-He did?
389
00:14:59,744 --> 00:15:01,245
-I did?
-You did.
390
00:15:01,287 --> 00:15:03,164
TIM (cobbled from recording):
Hello. This is your brother.
391
00:15:03,205 --> 00:15:04,874
Help. Tabitha fell off horsey.
392
00:15:04,915 --> 00:15:06,125
Good night, sweetie.
393
00:15:06,167 --> 00:15:07,793
Well, that was unsettling.
394
00:15:08,878 --> 00:15:11,380
I swear I didn't
leave that message.
395
00:15:11,422 --> 00:15:14,467
-(coos)
-On... purpose.
396
00:15:14,508 --> 00:15:15,593
I...
397
00:15:15,634 --> 00:15:16,594
Butt-dialed?
398
00:15:16,635 --> 00:15:18,095
(chuckles)
With my butt.
399
00:15:18,137 --> 00:15:19,472
While I was talking
in my sleep.
400
00:15:19,513 --> 00:15:21,057
I do that sometimes.
401
00:15:21,098 --> 00:15:22,683
You sleep-butt-dialed me?
402
00:15:22,725 --> 00:15:25,770
-With my butt.
-(Carol chuckling)
403
00:15:25,811 --> 00:15:29,190
I knew there must be a
perfectly logical explanation.
404
00:15:29,231 --> 00:15:30,983
(chuckles)
And there it is.
405
00:15:31,025 --> 00:15:32,902
-TED: Hmm. -All that matters
is that you're here.
406
00:15:32,943 --> 00:15:35,112
-TABITHA: Woo-hoo! Yay!
-(Tina squeals)
407
00:15:35,154 --> 00:15:36,572
-Absolutely. Uh, for now.
-(Tina giggling)
408
00:15:36,614 --> 00:15:38,574
Uncle Ted, please stay
for Christmas. Please.
409
00:15:38,616 --> 00:15:41,243
Sorry, sweetie. I can't
do Christmas on the 25th.
410
00:15:41,285 --> 00:15:43,496
But, Uncle Ted,
I missed you so much.
411
00:15:43,537 --> 00:15:45,247
(echoing):I missed you so much.
412
00:15:45,289 --> 00:15:46,916
-I missed you so much.
-Mm... wah!
413
00:15:46,957 --> 00:15:48,876
TABITHA: Don't you thinkI'm a little old for that now?
414
00:15:48,918 --> 00:15:50,586
(echoing): Don't you thinkI'm a little old for that now?
415
00:15:50,628 --> 00:15:52,254
Don't you thinkI'm a little old for that now?
416
00:15:52,296 --> 00:15:54,298
(chuckles) Can I talk to you
in the kitchen?
417
00:15:55,132 --> 00:15:56,676
Alone.
418
00:15:58,427 --> 00:16:00,680
-TED: The baby, Tim?
-(shushes)
419
00:16:00,721 --> 00:16:03,349
She's been sent from up there.
420
00:16:03,391 --> 00:16:06,018
-Upstairs?
-That's right. BabyCorp.
421
00:16:06,060 --> 00:16:09,563
So you're saying the voice mail
was some kind of call for help.
422
00:16:09,605 --> 00:16:11,565
Yes! No.
423
00:16:11,607 --> 00:16:14,485
She comes from a secret
corporation run by babies.
424
00:16:15,611 --> 00:16:18,447
Tim, I'm gonna give you
the name of a doctor.
425
00:16:18,489 --> 00:16:22,284
Roy Federman. Just tell him
I sent you, okay?
426
00:16:22,326 --> 00:16:23,536
(hushed):
What are they saying?
427
00:16:23,577 --> 00:16:25,037
We should give them
some privacy.
428
00:16:25,079 --> 00:16:26,330
-Here you go.
-Ooh. Thanks.
429
00:16:26,372 --> 00:16:27,665
TIM:
I'm not crazy!
430
00:16:27,707 --> 00:16:29,417
You just don't remember.
Tell him, Tina.
431
00:16:29,458 --> 00:16:30,751
-He... I...
-TED: She can't talk, Tim.
432
00:16:30,793 --> 00:16:32,461
-TIM: Stop interrupting.
-(Tina groans)
433
00:16:32,503 --> 00:16:33,796
TED: Interrupting what?
I don't hear anything.
434
00:16:33,838 --> 00:16:35,965
Except your obnoxious voice.
You hear that.
435
00:16:36,007 --> 00:16:38,134
I have a beautiful voice.
436
00:16:38,175 --> 00:16:39,552
-(groans)
-TIM: Fine.
437
00:16:39,593 --> 00:16:41,429
I can prove that
everything I'm saying is real.
438
00:16:41,470 --> 00:16:42,805
-TED: Oh, yeah?
-TIM: Yeah!
439
00:16:42,847 --> 00:16:43,806
Suck it, Ted.
440
00:16:43,848 --> 00:16:44,849
I beg your pardon?
441
00:16:44,890 --> 00:16:45,975
You, suck.
442
00:16:46,017 --> 00:16:47,435
No, no, Tim. You suck.
443
00:16:47,476 --> 00:16:48,811
CAROL: Time to go buy
a Christmas tree.
444
00:16:48,853 --> 00:16:50,521
But we already have
a Christmas tree.
445
00:16:50,563 --> 00:16:52,732
-No, we don't. No, we don't.
-Yes, we do. Yes, we do.
446
00:16:52,773 --> 00:16:54,317
Suck it, suck it, suck it,
suck it, suck it, suck it.
447
00:16:54,358 --> 00:16:55,860
-Get that pacie out of my face!
-Excuse me.
448
00:16:55,901 --> 00:16:58,988
I hate to interrupt,
but may I make a suggestion?
449
00:16:59,030 --> 00:17:00,364
Why don't you both suck it?
450
00:17:00,406 --> 00:17:02,325
-Ha! (whoops)
-(grunts)
451
00:17:02,366 --> 00:17:04,118
(grunting)
452
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:06,120
-She can talk.
-A lot.
453
00:17:06,162 --> 00:17:07,288
(whoops)
454
00:17:07,330 --> 00:17:08,914
Buckle up, boys.
455
00:17:08,956 --> 00:17:10,541
(sucking rapidly)
456
00:17:11,375 --> 00:17:12,835
(all screaming)
457
00:17:12,877 --> 00:17:15,171
-TINA: Baby on board!
-(Tim whooping)
458
00:17:15,212 --> 00:17:17,381
-That's what I'm talking about!
-(laughs) Woo-hoo!
459
00:17:17,423 --> 00:17:19,800
(screaming)
460
00:17:21,177 --> 00:17:22,345
(sighs)
461
00:17:22,386 --> 00:17:24,889
* *
462
00:17:32,188 --> 00:17:33,898
TIM:
Yeah! Woo-hoo!
463
00:17:35,066 --> 00:17:36,359
(both grunt)
464
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,027
(yelps)
465
00:17:38,069 --> 00:17:40,071
-Wow.
-(Tina laughs)
466
00:17:40,112 --> 00:17:41,697
(gasps)
467
00:17:41,739 --> 00:17:43,032
I'm home.
468
00:17:43,074 --> 00:17:44,325
TIM:
Yeah. See?
469
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:45,785
It's all real.
470
00:17:45,826 --> 00:17:46,869
TED:
Whoa.
471
00:17:46,911 --> 00:17:49,038
Is that me?
472
00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,791
TINA: If you're fishing for
a compliment, you caught one!
473
00:17:51,832 --> 00:17:54,210
You are a legend in this joint.
474
00:17:54,251 --> 00:17:55,711
A statue?
475
00:17:55,753 --> 00:17:58,255
Well, I did single-handedly
save the company.
476
00:17:58,297 --> 00:17:59,799
Double-handedly.
477
00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,217
(chuckling):
Right? We were partners.
478
00:18:01,258 --> 00:18:02,343
Really?
479
00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,053
I don't see your statue.
480
00:18:04,095 --> 00:18:05,680
I still love you, Daddy.
481
00:18:05,721 --> 00:18:07,682
TIM:
They got the head size right.
482
00:18:07,723 --> 00:18:08,975
(ding)
483
00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:11,227
TED: Take it from me,
you have to be aggressive
484
00:18:11,268 --> 00:18:12,520
if you want to get ahead.
485
00:18:12,561 --> 00:18:14,230
Climb that corporate ladder
486
00:18:14,271 --> 00:18:16,899
-until you're the last baby
standing at the top. -TIM: Wow.
487
00:18:16,941 --> 00:18:19,860
Actually, I prioritize
a good work-life balance
488
00:18:19,902 --> 00:18:23,406
and a positive environment
where my ideas are valued.
489
00:18:23,447 --> 00:18:25,574
(laughing)
490
00:18:25,616 --> 00:18:26,951
Oh, you're serious.
491
00:18:26,993 --> 00:18:28,828
You're funny, Uncle Ted.
492
00:18:28,869 --> 00:18:31,080
I wonder why they didn't
mention that in your file.
493
00:18:31,122 --> 00:18:32,248
My file?
494
00:18:32,289 --> 00:18:33,791
-You saw my file?
-(Tim sighs)
495
00:18:33,833 --> 00:18:35,084
-Yep.
-What does it say?
496
00:18:35,126 --> 00:18:36,419
It says a lot.
497
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:38,838
-This is the Crisis Center.
-Whoa. Wow.
498
00:18:38,879 --> 00:18:41,340
This is where we monitor
all threats
499
00:18:41,382 --> 00:18:43,342
to babies around the world.
500
00:18:43,384 --> 00:18:44,635
And Hawaii.
501
00:18:44,677 --> 00:18:46,429
This is so cool.
This is so cool.
502
00:18:46,470 --> 00:18:48,431
(roaring):
I'm Godzilla.
503
00:18:48,472 --> 00:18:49,974
"Oh, run for your lives!
Run for your lives!"
504
00:18:50,016 --> 00:18:52,351
-Why did we bring him?
-Daddy, get down from there.
505
00:18:52,393 --> 00:18:55,104
-Aw. -We can play on it later
when no one is looking.
506
00:18:55,146 --> 00:18:56,814
-What's the crisis?
-Yeah.
507
00:18:56,856 --> 00:18:58,441
Here we go.
What's the crisis, sweetie?
508
00:18:58,482 --> 00:18:59,859
Rusty, roll it.
509
00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,777
(snores, whines)
510
00:19:01,819 --> 00:19:03,779
He's new.
511
00:19:03,821 --> 00:19:07,616
DR. ARMSTRONG (over speakers):
Just imagine, baby surgeons.
512
00:19:07,658 --> 00:19:09,952
-(buzzer sounds) -Uh-oh.
-(babies giggling)
513
00:19:09,994 --> 00:19:12,288
Or baby astronauts.
514
00:19:12,330 --> 00:19:15,458
(singsongy):
Floaty, floaty, float.
515
00:19:15,499 --> 00:19:18,794
Yes, babies are gonna
run the world one day.
516
00:19:18,836 --> 00:19:22,048
And that day is coming
sooner than you think.
517
00:19:22,089 --> 00:19:25,051
Hello. My name is
Dr. Erwin Armstrong,
518
00:19:25,092 --> 00:19:27,637
founder of The Acorn Center
for Advanced Childhood.
519
00:19:27,678 --> 00:19:29,597
Wait a minute, that's...
that's Tabitha's school.
520
00:19:29,639 --> 00:19:31,974
Here at the center,
we believe babies
521
00:19:32,016 --> 00:19:34,602
are the ultimate
learning machines.
522
00:19:34,644 --> 00:19:36,562
Isn't that right,
little Nathan?
523
00:19:36,604 --> 00:19:38,731
-Yeah!
-(chuckles): Okay.
524
00:19:38,773 --> 00:19:40,316
They should use
their precious time
525
00:19:40,358 --> 00:19:42,777
to develop faster, push harder.
526
00:19:42,818 --> 00:19:44,195
-Hmm. -(Tim scoffs)
-Parents, they have the best
527
00:19:44,236 --> 00:19:47,156
intentions, of course,
but they're not experts.
528
00:19:47,198 --> 00:19:51,285
After all, the only thing
holding your child back is...
529
00:19:51,327 --> 00:19:53,079
-you.
-KIDS: You!
530
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:55,790
This explains why Tabitha's
been pulling away from me.
531
00:19:55,831 --> 00:19:57,708
-It's the school.
-ARMSTRONG: Everybody, wave.
532
00:19:57,750 --> 00:19:59,293
-Bye, Mommy.
-KIDS: Bye, Mommy!
533
00:19:59,335 --> 00:20:00,544
-Bye, Daddy.
-Bye, Daddy!
534
00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:03,172
(singsongy):
Sayonara.
535
00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:05,257
Now, in the past six months,
536
00:20:05,299 --> 00:20:08,260
these schools have been
popping up all over the world.
537
00:20:08,302 --> 00:20:09,512
Uh, so what's the problem?
538
00:20:09,553 --> 00:20:11,180
The school is the problem.
539
00:20:11,222 --> 00:20:12,640
Yeah. School is evil.
540
00:20:12,682 --> 00:20:14,850
No, Daddy,
not all schools are evil.
541
00:20:14,892 --> 00:20:16,978
-It's just this one, okay?
-Okay.
542
00:20:17,019 --> 00:20:19,105
If Armstrong's philosophy
keeps spreading,
543
00:20:19,146 --> 00:20:21,273
it could be
the end of childhood.
544
00:20:21,315 --> 00:20:22,733
No.
545
00:20:22,775 --> 00:20:25,069
Childhood was the worst
three years of my life.
546
00:20:25,111 --> 00:20:26,654
That's so sad.
547
00:20:26,696 --> 00:20:28,531
You probably just
didn't do it right.
548
00:20:28,572 --> 00:20:29,824
-Huh?
-Aw.
549
00:20:29,865 --> 00:20:32,076
But luckily, you get a do-over.
550
00:20:32,118 --> 00:20:34,286
A second chance.
551
00:20:35,454 --> 00:20:38,958
BabyCorp has developed
a new super-duper baby formula
552
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,877
-that can turn a grown-up
back into a baby. -(baby coos)
553
00:20:41,919 --> 00:20:44,213
We have it in cherry, grape,
orange and lime.
554
00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:46,007
-For real?
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
555
00:20:46,048 --> 00:20:47,967
-You want me to be a baby?
-Hey, it's what you do best.
556
00:20:48,009 --> 00:20:50,094
So you can infiltrate
the school and find out
557
00:20:50,136 --> 00:20:52,805
what Dr. Armstrong
is really up to.
558
00:20:52,847 --> 00:20:55,391
BabyCorp will
take care of the rest.
559
00:20:55,433 --> 00:20:57,226
(whoops)
560
00:20:57,268 --> 00:20:58,894
(Tim gasps, laughs)
561
00:20:58,936 --> 00:21:00,896
It's the perfect disguise.
562
00:21:00,938 --> 00:21:03,858
And it only lasts
48 teensy-weensy hours.
563
00:21:03,899 --> 00:21:05,651
Oh, I am in on the mission.
564
00:21:05,693 --> 00:21:06,819
-Sorry, Pops.
-Ow.
565
00:21:06,861 --> 00:21:08,696
-It's not your mission.
-Aw.
566
00:21:08,738 --> 00:21:10,740
"Warning:
may cause drooling, babbling,
567
00:21:10,781 --> 00:21:12,575
"emotional outbursts,
fits of laughter,
568
00:21:12,616 --> 00:21:16,579
loss of bowel control,
chubby thighs"?
569
00:21:16,620 --> 00:21:19,415
I think some guys at my gym
take this stuff.
570
00:21:19,457 --> 00:21:20,541
(screams)
571
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,335
My texting hand!
572
00:21:22,376 --> 00:21:24,670
-Even though it is your
daughter's school. -(screaming)
573
00:21:24,712 --> 00:21:26,172
Doesn't seem fair, does it?
574
00:21:26,213 --> 00:21:27,673
Daddy, no. Please stop.
575
00:21:27,715 --> 00:21:29,091
(glugs) Whoa!
576
00:21:29,133 --> 00:21:30,801
(babbling rapidly)
577
00:21:30,843 --> 00:21:32,720
What? It actually works.
578
00:21:32,762 --> 00:21:33,929
(Ted straining)
579
00:21:33,971 --> 00:21:35,765
-TED: It's mine!
-(yells)
580
00:21:35,806 --> 00:21:37,600
-I'm better with
this kind of thing! -Oh!
581
00:21:37,642 --> 00:21:39,143
(glugs, screams)
582
00:21:39,185 --> 00:21:41,437
And what kind of thing is that,
Flock of Seagulls?
583
00:21:41,479 --> 00:21:43,272
-(both grunting)
-(record scratches)
584
00:21:43,314 --> 00:21:45,566
("The Time Warp" from RockyHorror Picture Showplaying)
585
00:21:45,608 --> 00:21:47,109
-Everything!
-Gotcha!
586
00:21:47,151 --> 00:21:49,945
You might feel very emotional,
have some mood swings.
587
00:21:49,987 --> 00:21:51,238
-(glugging)
-(Ted yells)
588
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:52,490
Oh! (babbles)
589
00:21:52,531 --> 00:21:54,033
Hey! (screams)
590
00:21:54,075 --> 00:21:56,327
Ouch.
There's the awkward stage.
591
00:21:56,369 --> 00:21:57,953
Now, the tea's hot, Connie.
592
00:21:57,995 --> 00:21:59,955
You always have to be
the hero, don't you?
593
00:21:59,997 --> 00:22:01,874
What's that supposed to mean?
(grunts)
594
00:22:01,916 --> 00:22:04,126
Never see him...
(frightened whimpering)
595
00:22:04,168 --> 00:22:06,128
All of a sudden,
he shows up with a pony.
596
00:22:06,170 --> 00:22:09,382
(screams) You're just jealous,
helmet head.
597
00:22:09,423 --> 00:22:10,800
She's my daughter!
598
00:22:10,841 --> 00:22:12,468
She's my niece. (screams)
599
00:22:12,510 --> 00:22:14,470
-(grunts)
-Do you want cream or sugar?
600
00:22:14,512 --> 00:22:16,013
(both yelling)
601
00:22:16,055 --> 00:22:18,015
I was always
the successful one.
602
00:22:18,057 --> 00:22:20,643
Mommy says no running
in the house.
603
00:22:20,685 --> 00:22:21,894
(slurps) Mm.
604
00:22:21,936 --> 00:22:24,146
Hand over the bottle, mullet.
605
00:22:24,188 --> 00:22:25,940
(grunting)
606
00:22:25,982 --> 00:22:28,317
-(screams)
-You can't hug money, you know.
607
00:22:28,359 --> 00:22:29,610
(glugs, babbles)
608
00:22:29,652 --> 00:22:31,028
(grunts)
609
00:22:31,988 --> 00:22:34,448
But you can, Tim. You can.
610
00:22:34,490 --> 00:22:37,451
(both yelling)
611
00:22:37,493 --> 00:22:39,370
Men. Am I right?
612
00:22:39,412 --> 00:22:42,415
(both yelling, grunting)
613
00:22:42,456 --> 00:22:44,333
(glugging)
614
00:22:44,375 --> 00:22:46,419
(slow-motion yelling)
615
00:22:46,460 --> 00:22:48,546
(screams, grunts)
616
00:22:48,587 --> 00:22:50,256
It's not personal.
617
00:22:50,297 --> 00:22:52,091
It's business, Leslie.
618
00:22:52,133 --> 00:22:53,175
(grunts)
619
00:22:53,217 --> 00:22:55,219
Well, it's personal
to me, Lindsey.
620
00:22:55,261 --> 00:22:57,888
(both scream)
621
00:22:57,930 --> 00:23:01,309
(both whimpering)
622
00:23:01,350 --> 00:23:03,185
Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop!
Ow, ow, ow!
623
00:23:03,227 --> 00:23:05,062
I'm sorry, Connie.
I have to cut this short.
624
00:23:05,104 --> 00:23:07,189
Tomorrow, we'll talk
about your problems.
625
00:23:07,231 --> 00:23:09,942
Okay, time-out!
This has gone far enough!
626
00:23:09,984 --> 00:23:11,527
TABITHA:
Hey. We're home.
627
00:23:11,569 --> 00:23:13,070
(grunts)
And we got another tree.
628
00:23:13,112 --> 00:23:14,322
A real one.
629
00:23:14,363 --> 00:23:15,364
(all gasp)
630
00:23:15,406 --> 00:23:16,782
Um, upstairs now.
631
00:23:16,824 --> 00:23:18,200
Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
632
00:23:18,242 --> 00:23:19,660
-(both grunting)
-CAROL: Push it. No, no, pull.
633
00:23:19,702 --> 00:23:20,786
-Go, go, go, go, go.
-Push it up.
634
00:23:20,828 --> 00:23:22,371
-(grunts, whoops)
-Pull. No, okay.
635
00:23:22,413 --> 00:23:24,457
-To the right.
-How come I have the heavy end?
636
00:23:24,498 --> 00:23:26,375
CAROL: Because you're young
and strong, honey.
637
00:23:26,417 --> 00:23:27,752
Little bit more.
638
00:23:27,793 --> 00:23:28,919
-Me first!
-(grunts)
639
00:23:28,961 --> 00:23:30,212
-CAROL: Come on.
-Get off.
640
00:23:30,254 --> 00:23:32,048
-Tim? Ted?
-Mom.
641
00:23:32,089 --> 00:23:33,424
Get the cord. Get the cord.
642
00:23:33,466 --> 00:23:34,717
Get the cord,
get the cord, get the cord!
643
00:23:34,759 --> 00:23:36,427
You just can't disappear.
644
00:23:36,469 --> 00:23:37,762
You need a cover story.
645
00:23:37,803 --> 00:23:39,263
-TED: Ow!
-Oh, right.
646
00:23:39,305 --> 00:23:40,389
My soft spot.
647
00:23:40,431 --> 00:23:41,557
CAROL:
Where are you guys?
648
00:23:41,599 --> 00:23:42,767
Uh, uh, tell her
you're packing.
649
00:23:42,808 --> 00:23:45,603
We're upstairs, uh, packing.
650
00:23:45,645 --> 00:23:47,063
-Packing? For what?
-(Tabitha yells)
651
00:23:47,104 --> 00:23:48,814
Ooh. You're going on
a brother bonding trip.
652
00:23:48,856 --> 00:23:51,400
-We're going on
a brother bonding trip. -Ow!
653
00:23:51,442 --> 00:23:53,027
Now?
654
00:23:53,069 --> 00:23:54,695
But, Tim, your parents
are coming tomorrow.
655
00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:56,405
They can help out.
656
00:23:56,447 --> 00:23:58,282
Yeah, they could help out.
657
00:23:58,324 --> 00:24:01,202
What... No, you can't leave me
alone with your parents.
658
00:24:01,243 --> 00:24:02,870
-(Tina yells, laughs)
-Oh, Tina!
659
00:24:02,912 --> 00:24:05,539
(grunts)
What are you doing?
660
00:24:05,581 --> 00:24:07,041
(both grunting)
661
00:24:07,083 --> 00:24:09,251
All right, you know what?
You're going to baby jail.
662
00:24:09,293 --> 00:24:11,087
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no! -Tabitha!
663
00:24:11,128 --> 00:24:12,588
-CAROL: Oh, honey, I'm sorry.
-TABITHA: A little help here.
664
00:24:12,630 --> 00:24:14,048
CAROL:
Honey, hold it up. Hold it up.
665
00:24:14,090 --> 00:24:15,758
(deep voice):
This is Ted Templeton, a man.
666
00:24:15,800 --> 00:24:17,468
You can go ahead and take off.
I have urgent family business.
667
00:24:17,510 --> 00:24:19,679
-CAROL: To the right, honey.
-Yes, I have a family.
668
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,597
-Tim, I'm coming up there.
-(Tina gasps)
669
00:24:21,639 --> 00:24:23,557
Yeah, we need to talk.
670
00:24:23,599 --> 00:24:25,226
TABITHA:
Hey, Mom?
671
00:24:25,267 --> 00:24:26,435
Oh! Tina!
672
00:24:26,477 --> 00:24:27,853
(squeals, laughs)
673
00:24:27,895 --> 00:24:29,897
Put that down.
Put that down. Put that down.
674
00:24:29,939 --> 00:24:31,273
-Put that down. Put that down.
-Tina!
675
00:24:31,315 --> 00:24:34,110
-Put that down! Get back here!
-(laughing)
676
00:24:34,151 --> 00:24:36,612
Tina, stop! (grunting)
677
00:24:36,654 --> 00:24:38,739
CAROL:
What has gotten into you?
678
00:24:38,781 --> 00:24:40,449
-Time for us to go!
-(grunts)
679
00:24:40,491 --> 00:24:41,951
-What? Now?
-TED: Yeah.
680
00:24:41,993 --> 00:24:44,829
-My helicopter's double-parked.
-Bye!
681
00:24:44,870 --> 00:24:46,998
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
So soon? -Oh, no.
682
00:24:47,039 --> 00:24:49,125
-(both scream)
-(wind whistling)
683
00:24:49,166 --> 00:24:52,003
-(helicopter whirring)
-(panting)
684
00:24:53,421 --> 00:24:55,172
What... Did they really
just leave?
685
00:24:55,214 --> 00:24:56,298
Yep.
686
00:24:56,340 --> 00:24:58,175
-Hide!
-(Ted and Tim whimpering)
687
00:24:58,217 --> 00:25:01,220
(groans)
I got to lose this baby fat.
688
00:25:01,262 --> 00:25:02,847
(Carol sighs)
689
00:25:02,888 --> 00:25:04,974
Tina! What is your problem?
690
00:25:05,016 --> 00:25:07,143
(Tina laughing)
691
00:25:07,184 --> 00:25:09,228
* *
692
00:25:10,980 --> 00:25:12,732
CAROL: Now, you're gonna
wake up tomorrow
693
00:25:12,773 --> 00:25:14,358
and be good, Tina.
694
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:15,693
No more devil baby.
695
00:25:15,735 --> 00:25:16,986
Deal?
696
00:25:17,028 --> 00:25:19,322
-(coos)
-Okay.
697
00:25:21,449 --> 00:25:23,367
(both gasping for air)
698
00:25:23,409 --> 00:25:24,535
(both scream)
699
00:25:24,577 --> 00:25:25,786
Ew.
700
00:25:25,828 --> 00:25:27,246
(both scream)
701
00:25:27,288 --> 00:25:29,498
-(chiming) -Thanks so much
for coming in, ladies.
702
00:25:29,540 --> 00:25:30,833
Would you like some fruit?
703
00:25:30,875 --> 00:25:31,876
Mm. Ow!
704
00:25:31,917 --> 00:25:32,877
What was... Hey!
705
00:25:32,918 --> 00:25:34,462
Uh, can we get on with this?
706
00:25:34,503 --> 00:25:36,672
(grunts, groans)
707
00:25:36,714 --> 00:25:38,341
I miss my teeth.
708
00:25:38,382 --> 00:25:40,384
I've decided who's going
on the mission.
709
00:25:40,426 --> 00:25:41,635
Thank you. I accept.
710
00:25:41,677 --> 00:25:42,720
Both of you.
711
00:25:42,762 --> 00:25:44,263
-Yes!
-No.
712
00:25:44,305 --> 00:25:46,015
BabyCorp wants to get
the team back together, huh?
713
00:25:46,057 --> 00:25:47,141
(laughs):
No.
714
00:25:47,183 --> 00:25:48,517
They think that's
a terrible idea.
715
00:25:48,559 --> 00:25:49,685
Of course they do.
716
00:25:49,727 --> 00:25:51,520
Well, I'm the boss, applesauce.
717
00:25:51,562 --> 00:25:54,523
And I think you two are better
together than you are apart.
718
00:25:54,565 --> 00:25:57,818
Well, I work alone--
or at least not with him.
719
00:25:57,860 --> 00:25:59,862
Hey. There's no "I" in "team."
720
00:25:59,904 --> 00:26:01,864
Actually, there's no "U"
in "team," either,
721
00:26:01,906 --> 00:26:04,075
-but there is an "M-E."
-T-E-A-M...
722
00:26:04,116 --> 00:26:06,035
But teamwork doesn't seem work.
723
00:26:06,077 --> 00:26:08,412
Ah. If you want something
done right, do it yourself.
724
00:26:08,454 --> 00:26:10,956
-We're all in it together.
-Every man for himself.
725
00:26:10,998 --> 00:26:12,708
One is the loneliest number.
726
00:26:12,750 --> 00:26:14,585
-The ayes have it.
-We the people!
727
00:26:14,627 --> 00:26:16,462
Aha!
728
00:26:17,755 --> 00:26:19,048
Oh. So sorry.
729
00:26:19,090 --> 00:26:20,466
(whispers):
Okay. Good night.
730
00:26:20,508 --> 00:26:21,884
Whew.
731
00:26:21,926 --> 00:26:24,011
Guess we'll just have to
melt down your big old statue
732
00:26:24,053 --> 00:26:25,888
and turn it into
participation trophies.
733
00:26:25,930 --> 00:26:27,723
Please, no,
don't hurt my statue.
734
00:26:27,765 --> 00:26:30,810
Now, we have secret intel
735
00:26:30,851 --> 00:26:35,940
that Dr. Armstrong leaves his
office every morning at 11:15.
736
00:26:35,982 --> 00:26:37,441
You need to sneak in there,
737
00:26:37,483 --> 00:26:39,694
plant these
surveillance devices,
738
00:26:39,735 --> 00:26:41,737
and report back to me.
739
00:26:41,779 --> 00:26:42,863
Oh, man, this is so cool.
740
00:26:42,905 --> 00:26:44,031
(echoing over speaker):
Testing.
741
00:26:44,073 --> 00:26:45,408
* Strangers in the night... *
742
00:26:45,449 --> 00:26:47,910
Now, I've arranged
for a school bus
743
00:26:47,952 --> 00:26:50,246
to be here at 8:00 a.m. sharp!
744
00:26:50,287 --> 00:26:51,872
-Thank you, Connie.
-CONNIE: Nighty night.
745
00:26:51,914 --> 00:26:53,374
Do not be late.
746
00:26:53,416 --> 00:26:54,625
Got it.
747
00:26:54,667 --> 00:26:56,585
Easy-breezy, taco-peasy, boys.
748
00:26:56,627 --> 00:26:58,462
Let's get some sleep!
749
00:26:58,504 --> 00:27:00,423
(snoring)
750
00:27:04,593 --> 00:27:06,637
(coos softly)
751
00:27:08,764 --> 00:27:11,017
* *
752
00:27:20,318 --> 00:27:22,486
CAROL:
Hey, what's the matter?
753
00:27:23,988 --> 00:27:25,239
TABITHA:
It's nothing.
754
00:27:25,281 --> 00:27:26,615
CAROL:
Oh, sweetie, don't worry.
755
00:27:26,657 --> 00:27:27,950
I'm sure your dad will be back
756
00:27:27,992 --> 00:27:29,618
in time to see you
in the pageant.
757
00:27:29,660 --> 00:27:30,995
TABITHA:
That's okay.
758
00:27:31,037 --> 00:27:32,371
CAROL: What?
Don't you want him to come?
759
00:27:32,413 --> 00:27:34,957
-TABITHA: I guess.
-CAROL: Of course you do.
760
00:27:34,999 --> 00:27:36,917
Now, go back to sleep.
761
00:27:36,959 --> 00:27:38,336
TABITHA:
Good night, Mom.
762
00:27:38,377 --> 00:27:40,671
CAROL:
Good night, sweetie.
763
00:27:48,179 --> 00:27:50,222
(coos softly)
764
00:27:53,768 --> 00:27:56,020
* *
765
00:28:00,024 --> 00:28:01,484
CAROL:
Don't you want him to come?
766
00:28:01,525 --> 00:28:03,402
-TABITHA: I guess.
-(gasping)
767
00:28:03,444 --> 00:28:04,695
(screams)
768
00:28:04,737 --> 00:28:07,073
Don't you think I'm
a little old for that now?
769
00:28:07,114 --> 00:28:09,825
I think it's time
we both grow up.
770
00:28:09,867 --> 00:28:11,410
-(grunts)
-(thunder crashes)
771
00:28:11,452 --> 00:28:13,204
(gavel slamming)
772
00:28:14,372 --> 00:28:16,916
The trial of
Timothy Leslie Templeton
773
00:28:16,957 --> 00:28:18,334
is now in session.
774
00:28:18,376 --> 00:28:19,710
-Ha! Leslie.
-(laughter)
775
00:28:19,752 --> 00:28:21,837
Trial? Wait, what...
what are the charges?
776
00:28:21,879 --> 00:28:23,172
Fraud.
777
00:28:23,214 --> 00:28:25,841
Claiming to be
the world's best dad.
778
00:28:25,883 --> 00:28:27,301
-But I never said...
-Exhibit A.
779
00:28:27,343 --> 00:28:29,512
-Oh, come on. That was a gift.
-(gallery gasping)
780
00:28:29,553 --> 00:28:32,556
I suggest you let
your attorney do the talking.
781
00:28:32,598 --> 00:28:34,725
(gasps) Oh, no.
782
00:28:34,767 --> 00:28:37,269
Back in my day, you had to
earn one of these babies.
783
00:28:37,311 --> 00:28:38,562
-Dad, what? I did not...
-(gallery gasping)
784
00:28:38,604 --> 00:28:41,357
His best friend was
an alarm clock.
785
00:28:41,399 --> 00:28:42,149
Mom.
786
00:28:42,191 --> 00:28:44,819
(groans) He broke my arm.
787
00:28:44,860 --> 00:28:46,362
No, I didn't!
It was my brother.
788
00:28:46,404 --> 00:28:47,530
Objection, Your Honor.
789
00:28:47,571 --> 00:28:48,990
Sustained.
790
00:28:49,031 --> 00:28:50,616
We the jury find
the defendant...
791
00:28:50,658 --> 00:28:52,118
ALL:
A failure!
792
00:28:52,159 --> 00:28:53,911
Tabitha, will you please
help me out?
793
00:28:53,953 --> 00:28:55,287
Whoa!
794
00:28:55,329 --> 00:28:57,707
Dad, the homework,
it's just too much.
795
00:28:57,748 --> 00:28:58,874
-Whoa!
-Tabitha!
796
00:28:58,916 --> 00:29:00,084
-Time's up.
-(alarm ringing)
797
00:29:00,126 --> 00:29:02,670
-Wait. No!
-Save me, Daddy! Save me!
798
00:29:02,712 --> 00:29:04,922
(screaming)
799
00:29:04,964 --> 00:29:06,507
(yells, gasps)
800
00:29:06,549 --> 00:29:08,050
(sighs)
801
00:29:08,092 --> 00:29:11,053
-Oh, man. That was crazy.
-(snoring)
802
00:29:11,095 --> 00:29:12,930
(both yelling)
803
00:29:12,972 --> 00:29:14,473
-We overslept! We overslept?
-(gasping)
804
00:29:14,515 --> 00:29:16,183
-We overslept.
-Wake up, little halflings!
805
00:29:16,225 --> 00:29:18,352
-Wake up! What year is it?
-(alarm ringing)
806
00:29:19,103 --> 00:29:21,147
Oh, no.
807
00:29:21,188 --> 00:29:22,898
This is bad. No.
808
00:29:22,940 --> 00:29:24,567
No! No.
809
00:29:24,608 --> 00:29:25,901
(yells) Get up.
810
00:29:25,943 --> 00:29:27,236
Get up. We got to go.
811
00:29:27,278 --> 00:29:29,113
Come on.
We're gonna be late for... Oh!
812
00:29:29,155 --> 00:29:30,406
I'm gonna email it to you.
813
00:29:30,448 --> 00:29:31,907
(grunts) What's going on?
814
00:29:31,949 --> 00:29:34,201
Ah, I forgot to set Wizzie
for daylight savings!
815
00:29:34,243 --> 00:29:37,246
-What?!
-Daylight can't be saved, Tim.
816
00:29:37,288 --> 00:29:39,540
Oh, I got to get the plant
and the bug we got to plant.
817
00:29:39,582 --> 00:29:41,417
-Grab whatever. We got to go.
-Don't panic. Do not panic.
818
00:29:41,459 --> 00:29:42,960
-Ow. (groans)
-Godspeed, boys.
819
00:29:43,002 --> 00:29:44,086
Let's roll.
820
00:29:44,128 --> 00:29:46,589
Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa-oa...!
821
00:29:46,630 --> 00:29:48,716
(grunting)
822
00:29:50,051 --> 00:29:51,385
-(Tim screams)
-Upsies.
823
00:29:51,427 --> 00:29:53,846
-I need upsies...!
-Oh!
824
00:29:53,888 --> 00:29:55,264
-(Ted yells)
-TIM: Get dressed.
825
00:29:55,306 --> 00:29:58,017
(both grunting and groaning)
826
00:29:58,059 --> 00:29:59,644
What have you done to me?!
827
00:29:59,685 --> 00:30:01,604
No, really?
What, are we going sailing?
828
00:30:01,646 --> 00:30:03,773
Oh, no.
No, no, it's leaving.
829
00:30:03,814 --> 00:30:05,107
(both yell)
830
00:30:05,149 --> 00:30:07,026
(grunts, whimpers)
831
00:30:07,068 --> 00:30:08,444
Wait, no, no. Stop!
832
00:30:08,486 --> 00:30:10,613
Stop, stop, stop. Come back!
833
00:30:10,655 --> 00:30:11,781
Ahoy!
834
00:30:11,822 --> 00:30:13,115
Come back!
835
00:30:13,157 --> 00:30:14,867
(panting)
836
00:30:14,909 --> 00:30:16,327
Great, matey.
837
00:30:16,369 --> 00:30:17,912
What are we gonna do now?
838
00:30:19,080 --> 00:30:21,540
(whistling)
839
00:30:21,582 --> 00:30:23,668
* *
840
00:30:26,837 --> 00:30:28,881
(neighing)
841
00:30:33,844 --> 00:30:36,222
(slow-motion):
Oh, no!
842
00:30:36,263 --> 00:30:38,224
(continues whistling)
843
00:30:39,016 --> 00:30:39,976
(whinnies)
844
00:30:40,017 --> 00:30:42,645
Precious, my noble steed.
845
00:30:42,687 --> 00:30:45,815
We must not be late
for our first day of school.
846
00:30:48,109 --> 00:30:49,944
Oh, gross.
847
00:30:49,986 --> 00:30:51,654
-Huh?
-(Tim screaming)
848
00:30:51,696 --> 00:30:53,990
Tallyho, Precious!
849
00:30:54,031 --> 00:30:56,325
(Tim continues screaming)
850
00:30:58,536 --> 00:31:00,121
This pony hates me. Oh!
851
00:31:00,162 --> 00:31:01,580
It's not that
she hates you, Tim.
852
00:31:01,622 --> 00:31:03,165
She just doesn't respect you.
853
00:31:03,207 --> 00:31:05,626
(Tim screams, whimpers)
854
00:31:05,668 --> 00:31:07,670
(horns honking)
855
00:31:07,712 --> 00:31:09,046
Go left! Go left!
856
00:31:09,088 --> 00:31:11,007
I'm gonna go
where navigation says.
857
00:31:11,048 --> 00:31:12,216
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Turn left.
858
00:31:12,258 --> 00:31:13,592
Thank you, navigation.
859
00:31:13,634 --> 00:31:15,219
-TIM: Whoa!
-AUTOMATED VOICE: Turn right.
860
00:31:15,261 --> 00:31:16,887
-(people screaming)
-TIM: Sorry.
861
00:31:16,929 --> 00:31:19,307
AUTOMATED VOICE: Turn left.
Proceed on the current route.
862
00:31:20,725 --> 00:31:22,393
TED:
Yeehaw!
863
00:31:22,435 --> 00:31:24,103
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Recalculating.
864
00:31:24,145 --> 00:31:25,938
Hold on to your holster.
865
00:31:25,980 --> 00:31:27,231
-Hyah!
-(yells)
866
00:31:27,273 --> 00:31:29,066
(cell phone buzzing)
867
00:31:29,108 --> 00:31:31,068
(grunts)
Oh, no. It's Carol!
868
00:31:31,110 --> 00:31:32,194
Don't answer it.
869
00:31:32,236 --> 00:31:33,362
-Hi.
-CAROL: Oh, Tim.
870
00:31:33,404 --> 00:31:34,613
How's your bonding trip?
871
00:31:34,655 --> 00:31:36,365
Uh... Whoa!
872
00:31:36,407 --> 00:31:37,700
Whoa. Slow down.
873
00:31:37,742 --> 00:31:40,494
How... is... your...
874
00:31:40,536 --> 00:31:42,413
-bonding trip?
-Aah! Whoa.
875
00:31:43,205 --> 00:31:45,041
(screams) You're here!
876
00:31:45,082 --> 00:31:47,001
-Oh, no.
-TIM: I mean, um,
877
00:31:47,043 --> 00:31:48,377
I wish you were here.
878
00:31:48,419 --> 00:31:49,628
Oh, we miss you, too.
879
00:31:49,670 --> 00:31:50,713
Don't we, girls?
880
00:31:50,755 --> 00:31:52,173
We're, uh...
881
00:31:52,214 --> 00:31:53,716
We're, uh, rebooting
our relationship
882
00:31:53,758 --> 00:31:55,801
and, uh, restoring the
closeness that we once felt.
883
00:31:55,843 --> 00:31:58,220
-That's so great.
-We've got to go. (chuckles)
884
00:31:58,262 --> 00:31:59,430
CAROL:
Where are you?
885
00:31:59,472 --> 00:32:00,890
-Uh, a hockey game.
-Hey!
886
00:32:00,931 --> 00:32:02,475
He shoots, he scores!
887
00:32:02,516 --> 00:32:03,768
He scores! He scores!
888
00:32:03,809 --> 00:32:05,394
Ladies and gentlemen,
he scores!
889
00:32:05,436 --> 00:32:06,979
-* Busted... *
-* Busted... *
890
00:32:07,021 --> 00:32:08,147
-* Busted. *
-(sirens wail)
891
00:32:08,189 --> 00:32:09,982
Is that the police?
892
00:32:11,067 --> 00:32:12,401
Uh, no, not the police.
893
00:32:12,443 --> 00:32:14,236
It's, uh...
it's a hockey alarm.
894
00:32:14,278 --> 00:32:15,446
Faster, Tim.
895
00:32:15,488 --> 00:32:17,198
I ain't going back
to the clink!
896
00:32:17,239 --> 00:32:18,658
Now, I just wanted
to remind you
897
00:32:18,699 --> 00:32:20,493
that Tabitha's pageant
is tomorrow night.
898
00:32:20,534 --> 00:32:22,328
You have to be there.
899
00:32:22,370 --> 00:32:26,082
Uh, I will be there
in one shape or another.
900
00:32:26,123 --> 00:32:27,249
(Ted grunts)
901
00:32:27,291 --> 00:32:29,418
-You promise?
-I promise.
902
00:32:29,460 --> 00:32:30,836
And what about Ted?
903
00:32:30,878 --> 00:32:32,254
Happy holidays, coppers.
904
00:32:32,296 --> 00:32:35,216
You're never gonna
take me alive, see?
905
00:32:35,257 --> 00:32:36,509
Uh, he's busy.
906
00:32:36,550 --> 00:32:38,260
What are you doing?
It's the cops.
907
00:32:38,302 --> 00:32:39,762
-(Ted laughs)
-Sorry, Officers.
908
00:32:39,804 --> 00:32:41,681
TED: Santa's got something
for everybody.
909
00:32:41,722 --> 00:32:42,765
TIM:
Sorry.
910
00:32:42,807 --> 00:32:44,892
* *
911
00:32:48,312 --> 00:32:49,438
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Recalculating.
912
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:50,940
(Tim screams, Ted laughs)
913
00:32:50,982 --> 00:32:52,608
Oh, my God! It's so real!
914
00:32:52,650 --> 00:32:54,610
It's so real! It's so real!
915
00:32:54,652 --> 00:32:56,237
(Tim screaming over phone)
916
00:32:56,278 --> 00:32:58,072
-Tim?
-(Tabitha speaks Mandarin)
917
00:32:58,114 --> 00:32:59,240
(people screaming)
918
00:32:59,281 --> 00:33:00,199
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Recalculating.
919
00:33:00,241 --> 00:33:01,367
TIM:
Left! Left! Left!
920
00:33:01,409 --> 00:33:02,660
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Recalculating.
921
00:33:02,702 --> 00:33:03,995
TIM: Right, right,
right, right, right!
922
00:33:04,036 --> 00:33:05,413
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Recalculating.
923
00:33:05,454 --> 00:33:07,289
And now the moment
we've all waited for!
924
00:33:07,331 --> 00:33:09,667
(people screaming)
925
00:33:12,044 --> 00:33:13,337
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Proceed on the current route.
926
00:33:13,379 --> 00:33:14,505
-(screams)
-See, Tim?
927
00:33:14,547 --> 00:33:16,007
-(blowing)
-Always trust... Holy...
928
00:33:16,048 --> 00:33:17,425
-(Tim screaming)
-CAROL: Tim?
929
00:33:17,466 --> 00:33:18,718
TIM:
Uh, Carol?
930
00:33:18,759 --> 00:33:20,428
You're breaking up.
I'm losing you.
931
00:33:20,469 --> 00:33:21,887
No, honey, I can hear you fine.
932
00:33:21,929 --> 00:33:24,140
-See you at the pageant.
Got to go. Bye. -Okay.
933
00:33:24,181 --> 00:33:25,266
(yells)
934
00:33:25,308 --> 00:33:28,060
-(screams) Whoa!
-Sorry.
935
00:33:28,102 --> 00:33:29,478
(yells)
936
00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:30,563
(Jimbo whimpering)
937
00:33:30,604 --> 00:33:32,565
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
938
00:33:32,606 --> 00:33:34,984
-(screams)
-It's too real! It's too real!
939
00:33:35,026 --> 00:33:37,486
-(clamoring)
-(siren wailing)
940
00:33:37,528 --> 00:33:41,115
(screaming)
941
00:33:41,157 --> 00:33:44,201
TED:
Tallyho, Precious!
942
00:33:44,243 --> 00:33:45,494
(gasps)
943
00:33:46,454 --> 00:33:48,956
No, no, no, tally...
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
944
00:33:48,998 --> 00:33:50,374
(whimpers)
945
00:33:51,500 --> 00:33:54,003
-(grunts)
-(tires screeching)
946
00:33:54,045 --> 00:33:55,171
-(grunts) Tina!
-Tina!
947
00:33:55,212 --> 00:33:56,339
-(Tim screaming)
-TED: Whoa!
948
00:33:56,380 --> 00:33:57,715
(laughs)
949
00:33:57,757 --> 00:33:59,842
-(screaming)
-TED: Woo-hoo!
950
00:33:59,884 --> 00:34:02,094
Whoa! (laughs)
951
00:34:02,136 --> 00:34:04,180
(Tim panting)
952
00:34:04,221 --> 00:34:05,973
-JIMBO: Tree!
-(siren whoops)
953
00:34:06,015 --> 00:34:07,975
AUTOMATED VOICE: You've arrived
at your destination.
954
00:34:08,017 --> 00:34:10,394
-And with a minute to spare.
-(distant explosion)
955
00:34:10,436 --> 00:34:13,147
Oh. Huh.
956
00:34:13,189 --> 00:34:14,315
I'll send them a check.
957
00:34:14,357 --> 00:34:15,441
(both chuckling)
958
00:34:15,483 --> 00:34:16,734
Oh, that was fun.
959
00:34:16,776 --> 00:34:18,194
You did it.
960
00:34:18,235 --> 00:34:19,528
We did it.
961
00:34:19,570 --> 00:34:21,280
I guess we did.
962
00:34:21,322 --> 00:34:23,115
I was talking about
me and Precious.
963
00:34:23,157 --> 00:34:25,117
-Oh.
-Isn't that right, baby?
964
00:34:25,159 --> 00:34:26,327
Yeah. Right.
965
00:34:26,369 --> 00:34:28,120
-Get down!
-(yells)
966
00:34:30,122 --> 00:34:32,416
* *
967
00:34:34,085 --> 00:34:36,128
(kids chattering)
968
00:34:42,760 --> 00:34:45,346
Whoa.
This place even looks evil.
969
00:34:45,388 --> 00:34:47,306
TED:
It's just a school.
970
00:34:47,348 --> 00:34:49,058
You're overreacting.
971
00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:50,309
And so is BabyCorp.
972
00:34:50,351 --> 00:34:51,602
No, I'm telling you,
973
00:34:51,644 --> 00:34:53,521
this school is stressing
Tabitha out.
974
00:34:53,562 --> 00:34:55,272
Tabitha can handle it.
975
00:34:55,314 --> 00:34:57,400
She's a real chip
off the old block.
976
00:34:57,441 --> 00:34:59,402
-Wait, who's the block?
-I'm the block.
977
00:34:59,443 --> 00:35:01,237
Well, you can't be the block.
I'm the block.
978
00:35:01,278 --> 00:35:02,738
Then start acting like a block.
979
00:35:02,780 --> 00:35:04,573
Wh-What does that mean?
I'm the block.
980
00:35:04,615 --> 00:35:06,450
-I've always been the block.
-Yeah. Not even close.
981
00:35:06,492 --> 00:35:07,910
TIM:
All I do is block.
982
00:35:07,952 --> 00:35:09,495
I wake up in the morning,
I block.
983
00:35:09,537 --> 00:35:11,372
-(kids grunting)
-I go to sleep, blocking.
984
00:35:11,414 --> 00:35:13,749
-I'm the block.
-Tim, enough.
985
00:35:14,709 --> 00:35:16,335
-I'm the block.
-No, you're not! Stop it!
986
00:35:16,377 --> 00:35:17,628
-Shh.
-(whistle blows)
987
00:35:17,670 --> 00:35:19,005
(chuckles) Sweet.
988
00:35:19,046 --> 00:35:20,464
Suckers.
989
00:35:20,506 --> 00:35:22,425
-AUTOMATED VOICE: Children only
beyond this point. -Hey.
990
00:35:22,466 --> 00:35:25,511
No crying is permitted
in the separation zone.
991
00:35:25,553 --> 00:35:27,096
Okay, looks like
we got to split up.
992
00:35:27,138 --> 00:35:28,556
Good. I could use a break.
993
00:35:28,597 --> 00:35:30,683
-TABITHA: Bye, Mom.
-All right, bye, honey.
994
00:35:30,725 --> 00:35:32,268
(gasps, yells)
There's Tabitha.
995
00:35:32,310 --> 00:35:34,645
-I'll see you after school.
-Okay.
996
00:35:34,687 --> 00:35:36,731
(window squeaking)
997
00:35:37,523 --> 00:35:39,442
TED:
Apparently, there's no "A"
998
00:35:39,483 --> 00:35:41,652
in "teamwork," either.
999
00:35:41,694 --> 00:35:43,154
All right, let's boogie.
1000
00:35:43,195 --> 00:35:44,989
(grunts) Not so fast.
1001
00:35:45,031 --> 00:35:47,533
I'm blue. You're yellow.
1002
00:35:47,575 --> 00:35:50,161
(laughing): You're over there
in the choo-choo.
1003
00:35:50,202 --> 00:35:51,787
(raucous laughter)
1004
00:35:51,829 --> 00:35:54,248
Aw. It's full of babies.
1005
00:35:54,290 --> 00:35:55,666
Is it? I didn't notice.
1006
00:35:55,708 --> 00:35:58,127
(laughing):
Just kidding. It's hilarious.
1007
00:35:58,169 --> 00:35:59,754
Uh, wait. Your tie's crooked.
1008
00:35:59,795 --> 00:36:01,213
-(fingers snap)
-Okay, Tim, focus.
1009
00:36:01,255 --> 00:36:03,966
We'll meet outside
Armstrong's office at 11:15.
1010
00:36:04,008 --> 00:36:05,968
We'll sneak in,
and we'll plant the bugs.
1011
00:36:06,010 --> 00:36:07,136
Are you focused?
1012
00:36:07,178 --> 00:36:08,346
Hey, what the...
1013
00:36:08,387 --> 00:36:10,389
-Oh, I am focused, all right.
-No, no.
1014
00:36:10,431 --> 00:36:11,724
I'm not yellow. I'm blue.
1015
00:36:11,766 --> 00:36:13,809
11:30. Stick to the plan.
1016
00:36:13,851 --> 00:36:14,852
11:15.
1017
00:36:14,894 --> 00:36:16,854
15. Got it.
The block is focused.
1018
00:36:16,896 --> 00:36:19,690
-I'm blue! Aah! I'm blue.
-(babies laughing)
1019
00:36:20,650 --> 00:36:22,652
Don't you understand?
I'm blue!
1020
00:36:22,693 --> 00:36:24,654
ARMSTRONG (over speakers):
Welcome, children.
1021
00:36:24,695 --> 00:36:26,030
Willkommen.
1022
00:36:26,072 --> 00:36:27,490
Bienvenue.
1023
00:36:27,531 --> 00:36:28,658
Annyeonghaseyo.
1024
00:36:28,699 --> 00:36:30,534
And buenos días.
1025
00:36:30,576 --> 00:36:34,497
Thank you for choosing
to be excellent.
1026
00:36:34,538 --> 00:36:36,040
-Please don't touch me.
-(babies laughing)
1027
00:36:36,082 --> 00:36:38,417
This is some
ridiculous mistake.
1028
00:36:38,459 --> 00:36:39,919
I'm blue! I'm blue!
1029
00:36:39,960 --> 00:36:41,671
* The wheels on the bus
go pi R-squared *
1030
00:36:41,712 --> 00:36:44,006
-* Circumference all around. *
-Yes.
1031
00:36:47,218 --> 00:36:48,511
TIM:
Hello.
1032
00:36:48,552 --> 00:36:50,304
Uh, hello.
1033
00:36:50,346 --> 00:36:52,014
Nice plant.
1034
00:36:52,056 --> 00:36:54,517
This is
my emotional support plant.
1035
00:36:54,558 --> 00:36:56,352
Hi. I-I'm new here.
1036
00:36:56,394 --> 00:37:00,564
Said nihonium to the other
elements in the periodic table.
1037
00:37:00,606 --> 00:37:02,483
-Ooh.
-(laughter)
1038
00:37:02,525 --> 00:37:04,026
Okay.
1039
00:37:04,068 --> 00:37:05,695
Can't sit here.
1040
00:37:05,736 --> 00:37:07,530
Or here. Or there.
1041
00:37:07,571 --> 00:37:09,031
(yells)
1042
00:37:09,073 --> 00:37:12,827
Seating position is
determined by class rank.
1043
00:37:12,868 --> 00:37:14,954
We can't possibly
include your data,
1044
00:37:14,996 --> 00:37:17,373
given that the rigor
of your previous school
1045
00:37:17,415 --> 00:37:19,291
is an unknown variable.
1046
00:37:19,333 --> 00:37:20,543
-STUDENTS: Ooh.
-(laughs)
1047
00:37:20,584 --> 00:37:22,169
-Sick burn, Nathan.
-(grunts)
1048
00:37:22,211 --> 00:37:23,421
-(groans)
-Ow.
1049
00:37:23,462 --> 00:37:24,547
Here.
1050
00:37:24,588 --> 00:37:26,716
-You can take my seat.
-(sighs)
1051
00:37:26,757 --> 00:37:29,176
I'm so proud of you.
1052
00:37:29,218 --> 00:37:31,178
I mean... thanks.
1053
00:37:31,220 --> 00:37:32,680
Okay...
1054
00:37:32,722 --> 00:37:34,223
(school bell rings)
1055
00:37:34,265 --> 00:37:35,558
ARMSTRONG:
Good morning.
1056
00:37:35,599 --> 00:37:36,976
STUDENTS:
Good morning, Dr. Armstrong!
1057
00:37:37,018 --> 00:37:39,353
(chuckles)
Very warm welcome. Thank you.
1058
00:37:39,395 --> 00:37:40,688
Huh?
1059
00:37:40,730 --> 00:37:42,732
As you can see,
we've got a new colleague
1060
00:37:42,773 --> 00:37:44,525
joining us today.
1061
00:37:44,567 --> 00:37:46,027
-Ooh.
-Hello.
1062
00:37:46,068 --> 00:37:47,820
New colleague, why don't you
introduce yourself.
1063
00:37:47,862 --> 00:37:50,906
Uh, my name's Ti... um, Marcos.
1064
00:37:50,948 --> 00:37:53,326
-Hmm.
-Marcos Lightspeed.
1065
00:37:53,367 --> 00:37:55,911
Marcos Lightspeed.
1066
00:37:55,953 --> 00:37:58,497
Yeah. Colorful, characterful,
and I like it.
1067
00:37:58,539 --> 00:38:00,124
-In any case...
-(gasps)
1068
00:38:00,166 --> 00:38:02,752
-...welcome, Marcos,
to Blue Unit. -(gasps)
1069
00:38:02,793 --> 00:38:04,545
Our most advanced class.
1070
00:38:04,587 --> 00:38:07,381
Ooh, this is rarefied air
1071
00:38:07,423 --> 00:38:08,716
-we're breathing.
-(groans)
1072
00:38:08,758 --> 00:38:10,634
Here at The Acorn Center,
we believe
1073
00:38:10,676 --> 00:38:12,720
that all competition is...
1074
00:38:12,762 --> 00:38:15,264
STUDENTS:
Healthy competition.
1075
00:38:15,306 --> 00:38:17,725
(babies yelling, laughing)
1076
00:38:17,767 --> 00:38:20,144
(noisemakers blaring)
1077
00:38:23,814 --> 00:38:27,193
I'm trapped
in the dum-dum holding tank.
1078
00:38:27,234 --> 00:38:30,571
(gasps)
I'm having a panic attack.
1079
00:38:30,613 --> 00:38:32,990
There must be
a way out of here.
1080
00:38:35,993 --> 00:38:38,120
Something doesn't smell right.
1081
00:38:38,162 --> 00:38:40,247
(sniffs) Blueberry.
1082
00:38:40,289 --> 00:38:41,999
(laughing)
1083
00:38:42,041 --> 00:38:44,210
(whispers):
I have to get out of here.
1084
00:38:44,251 --> 00:38:45,461
Hi.
1085
00:38:45,503 --> 00:38:46,962
Don't look at me.
1086
00:38:47,004 --> 00:38:48,964
-Okay.
-(baby laughing)
1087
00:38:49,006 --> 00:38:51,258
And our first subject
today is...
1088
00:38:51,300 --> 00:38:53,386
No fractions, no fractions,
no fractions. Whoa!
1089
00:38:54,387 --> 00:38:56,138
Particle physics.
1090
00:38:56,180 --> 00:38:57,306
Yes! What?
1091
00:38:57,348 --> 00:38:58,432
Yes! (laughs)
1092
00:38:58,474 --> 00:38:59,934
Who knows which scientist
1093
00:38:59,976 --> 00:39:02,186
first theorized
that the universe has a limit
1094
00:39:02,228 --> 00:39:04,897
beyond which
the laws of physics break down?
1095
00:39:04,939 --> 00:39:06,482
(students clamoring)
1096
00:39:06,524 --> 00:39:08,234
Wow. Everybody seems to know.
1097
00:39:08,275 --> 00:39:11,737
-(sighs, gasps)
-Señor Lightspeed.
1098
00:39:11,779 --> 00:39:15,282
Um, Dr. Flam... baisley?
1099
00:39:15,324 --> 00:39:18,160
-(buzzer sounds)
-Oh, that's the wrong answer.
1100
00:39:18,202 --> 00:39:20,997
His brain sure doesn't move
at light speed.
1101
00:39:21,038 --> 00:39:22,164
(laughter)
1102
00:39:22,206 --> 00:39:23,791
-ARMSTRONG: Uh, okay.
-I know, right?
1103
00:39:23,833 --> 00:39:25,668
-Anybody else?
-Right here.
1104
00:39:25,710 --> 00:39:27,086
-Max Planck.
-(bell dings)
1105
00:39:27,128 --> 00:39:28,587
ARMSTRONG:
That's correct.
1106
00:39:28,629 --> 00:39:30,006
Tabitha has set the bar.
1107
00:39:30,047 --> 00:39:31,716
First one on the board.
Ding, ding, ding.
1108
00:39:31,757 --> 00:39:33,843
Way to go, Tabitha.
1109
00:39:33,884 --> 00:39:36,345
You're going down, Templeton.
1110
00:39:36,387 --> 00:39:37,805
Bring it on, Nathan.
1111
00:39:37,847 --> 00:39:39,015
Yeah, Tabitha. Get him.
1112
00:39:39,056 --> 00:39:41,559
ARMSTRONG:
Next subject.
1113
00:39:41,600 --> 00:39:43,185
Ancient Greek.
1114
00:39:43,227 --> 00:39:46,022
-STUDENTS: Opa!
-Oprah! (chuckles)
1115
00:39:46,063 --> 00:39:48,190
-(laughter, babbling)
-Attention.
1116
00:39:48,232 --> 00:39:50,067
Attention, everyone.
1117
00:39:50,109 --> 00:39:52,778
Who wants to play Shawshank?
1118
00:39:52,820 --> 00:39:54,280
-No!
-BABIES: Huh?
1119
00:39:55,114 --> 00:39:58,284
Who wants to go outside
and play?
1120
00:39:58,326 --> 00:40:01,412
-(cheering)
-Does that sound fun? Good.
1121
00:40:01,454 --> 00:40:03,372
Now, anybody have any ideas?
1122
00:40:03,414 --> 00:40:04,707
-BABY: No!
-Come on, people.
1123
00:40:04,749 --> 00:40:05,833
Think, think, think,
think, think.
1124
00:40:05,875 --> 00:40:07,084
We need to think
outside the box.
1125
00:40:07,126 --> 00:40:08,544
-Oh, oh, oh! Me, me! Oh!
-You, Bo-Peep.
1126
00:40:08,586 --> 00:40:11,630
We can build a hot-air balloon
1127
00:40:11,672 --> 00:40:13,591
out of Popsicle sticks
and bubble gum!
1128
00:40:13,632 --> 00:40:14,925
(laughing)
1129
00:40:14,967 --> 00:40:16,635
And how would it fly?
1130
00:40:16,677 --> 00:40:18,554
-Pixie dust!
-(laughing, cheering)
1131
00:40:18,596 --> 00:40:20,097
Get back in the box, Bo-Peep.
1132
00:40:20,139 --> 00:40:22,391
-All the way in?
-All the way in.
1133
00:40:22,433 --> 00:40:24,602
-Yay! -Ooh. Uh, can we get
in the box, too?
1134
00:40:24,644 --> 00:40:26,646
-Can we? Can we?
-BABY: Glue.
1135
00:40:26,687 --> 00:40:28,606
I like glue.
1136
00:40:28,648 --> 00:40:29,815
Who doesn't?
1137
00:40:29,857 --> 00:40:31,275
But we're trying
to brainstorm here.
1138
00:40:31,317 --> 00:40:32,568
Glue's good.
1139
00:40:32,610 --> 00:40:34,278
(laughing wildly)
1140
00:40:34,320 --> 00:40:37,073
-Think, think, think, think,
think, think... -(groans)
1141
00:40:37,114 --> 00:40:40,242
...think, think, think, think,
think, think, think, think!
1142
00:40:40,284 --> 00:40:41,744
Bingo.
1143
00:40:41,786 --> 00:40:43,079
Next subject.
1144
00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:45,748
X is equal
to the derivative of...
1145
00:40:45,790 --> 00:40:47,041
-NATHAN: Ooh, me!
-Itself.
1146
00:40:47,083 --> 00:40:48,709
ARMSTRONG:
Kudos for Tabitha.
1147
00:40:48,751 --> 00:40:50,211
Wow. You knew that?
1148
00:40:50,252 --> 00:40:53,547
The world's leading producer
of bauxite is...
1149
00:40:53,589 --> 00:40:55,049
-NATHAN: Oh!
-Australia.
1150
00:40:55,091 --> 00:40:56,425
ARMSTRONG: Once again,
Tabitha's on the board.
1151
00:40:56,467 --> 00:40:58,678
-Very good. -Yes, Tabitha!
-(applause)
1152
00:40:58,719 --> 00:41:00,304
We got 15 minutes, people.
1153
00:41:00,346 --> 00:41:02,473
The difference
in "try" and "triumph"
1154
00:41:02,515 --> 00:41:04,266
is just a little oomph.
1155
00:41:04,308 --> 00:41:07,395
-BABIES: Oomph!
-Go big or go home.
1156
00:41:07,436 --> 00:41:09,021
Okay. Going home.
1157
00:41:09,063 --> 00:41:10,815
-Let's pick up the pace.
-No!
1158
00:41:10,856 --> 00:41:13,859
Hand downs, Norma Rae.
This is my time.
1159
00:41:13,901 --> 00:41:16,028
To be, or not to be?
Tabitha.
1160
00:41:16,070 --> 00:41:17,613
-To be. -That's correct.
-(bell dings)
1161
00:41:17,655 --> 00:41:21,617
Can anyone tell me
the horsepower of a 302 engine?
1162
00:41:21,659 --> 00:41:23,452
-Uh, seven?
-(buzzer sounds)
1163
00:41:23,494 --> 00:41:25,204
-ARMSTRONG: Oh, boy.
-Weak sauce, Nathan.
1164
00:41:25,246 --> 00:41:26,789
-That was weak.
-(groans)
1165
00:41:26,831 --> 00:41:28,040
Tabitha, do you have
an idea about that?
1166
00:41:28,082 --> 00:41:30,626
300 horsepower
with a four-barrel carb.
1167
00:41:30,668 --> 00:41:31,919
-(bell dings) -TIM: Wow.
-(groans)
1168
00:41:31,961 --> 00:41:33,796
-Her dad must be a genius.
-(applause)
1169
00:41:33,838 --> 00:41:36,340
On my signal, unleash heck.
1170
00:41:37,133 --> 00:41:39,260
-Fire!
-(babies grunt)
1171
00:41:40,261 --> 00:41:42,847
-(babies cheering)
-Yes!
1172
00:41:44,098 --> 00:41:46,183
-I found a cure!
-(cheering)
1173
00:41:46,225 --> 00:41:47,977
-(bell dings)
-Yes! Yes! She did it!
1174
00:41:48,019 --> 00:41:49,186
She did it.
1175
00:41:49,228 --> 00:41:50,813
-(students gasp)
-(buzzers sounding)
1176
00:41:50,855 --> 00:41:52,481
STUDENTS:
Marcos!
1177
00:41:52,523 --> 00:41:54,775
I did it. I did it.
1178
00:41:54,817 --> 00:41:56,652
(babies cheering)
1179
00:41:56,694 --> 00:42:00,573
Remember, your size doesn't
determine your strength.
1180
00:42:02,116 --> 00:42:04,493
Well, so far,
it's Tabitha number one
1181
00:42:04,535 --> 00:42:05,995
and everybody else last.
1182
00:42:06,037 --> 00:42:08,664
-(cheering, applause)
-(groans, sobs)
1183
00:42:08,706 --> 00:42:11,292
* *
1184
00:42:15,546 --> 00:42:16,714
Psst. Hey, Tabitha.
1185
00:42:16,756 --> 00:42:17,965
You're really...
1186
00:42:18,007 --> 00:42:20,593
-A geek. I know.
-No.
1187
00:42:20,634 --> 00:42:22,511
You're amazing.
1188
00:42:22,553 --> 00:42:24,847
Oh. Thanks, Marcos.
1189
00:42:24,889 --> 00:42:28,351
You'll be singing
a different tune at rehearsal.
1190
00:42:28,392 --> 00:42:30,436
The wrong tune.
1191
00:42:30,478 --> 00:42:31,646
(both laughing)
1192
00:42:31,687 --> 00:42:32,938
You're so funny.
1193
00:42:32,980 --> 00:42:34,649
Hilarious!
1194
00:42:37,234 --> 00:42:39,695
And yeah, Templeton,
don't be late.
1195
00:42:39,737 --> 00:42:41,405
-(laughs)
-(gasps) Late.
1196
00:42:41,447 --> 00:42:43,532
-I'm late.
-ARMSTRONG: Next subject.
1197
00:42:43,574 --> 00:42:44,742
Yes!
1198
00:42:44,784 --> 00:42:46,702
(straining):
Just a little further.
1199
00:42:46,744 --> 00:42:49,830
(babies giggling, babbling)
1200
00:42:49,872 --> 00:42:51,040
Glue!
1201
00:42:51,082 --> 00:42:52,875
(yells, screams)
1202
00:42:52,917 --> 00:42:54,043
-TIM: Excuse me.
-(engine revving)
1203
00:42:54,085 --> 00:42:55,336
Yes, Marcos.
1204
00:42:55,378 --> 00:42:58,172
Can I have a hall pass?
I have to go.
1205
00:42:58,214 --> 00:43:00,716
ARMSTRONG:
Voilà. Feel free.
1206
00:43:00,758 --> 00:43:02,385
(scoffs) Now what?
1207
00:43:02,426 --> 00:43:04,178
-(grunts) Now what?
-(babies crying)
1208
00:43:04,220 --> 00:43:05,805
Glue!
1209
00:43:05,846 --> 00:43:07,682
Glue is bad!
1210
00:43:07,723 --> 00:43:09,392
(whimpering)
1211
00:43:09,433 --> 00:43:10,559
Glue.
1212
00:43:10,601 --> 00:43:13,020
(gasps)
Glue is good.
1213
00:43:13,062 --> 00:43:16,399
How to get to
the principal's office.
1214
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:17,900
Of course.
1215
00:43:17,942 --> 00:43:20,820
You get sent
to the principal's office.
1216
00:43:20,861 --> 00:43:22,989
("It's Tricky" by Run-D.M.C.
playing)
1217
00:43:23,030 --> 00:43:25,324
-Booyah!
-(students gasp)
1218
00:43:25,366 --> 00:43:28,369
* I think it's very vital
to rock a rhyme... *
1219
00:43:28,411 --> 00:43:30,413
* Here we go, it's tricky
to rock a rhyme *
1220
00:43:30,454 --> 00:43:34,333
* To rock a rhyme that's right
on time, it's tricky *
1221
00:43:34,375 --> 00:43:36,669
* It's tricky, tricky,
tricky, tricky *
1222
00:43:36,711 --> 00:43:38,379
* It's tricky to rock a rhyme *
1223
00:43:38,421 --> 00:43:40,923
* To rock a rhyme that's right
on time, it's tricky... *
1224
00:43:40,965 --> 00:43:42,758
What's up, y'all?
1225
00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:44,844
School is...
1226
00:43:44,885 --> 00:43:46,387
-stupid.
-(students gasp)
1227
00:43:46,429 --> 00:43:49,140
(staticky): Listen, you know,
I acknowledge your anger.
1228
00:43:49,181 --> 00:43:51,934
It's, uh, very, uh, feisty,
but please sit down.
1229
00:43:51,976 --> 00:43:54,645
-Okay. Uh, no.
-(students gasp)
1230
00:43:54,687 --> 00:43:57,440
Sitting is... stupid!
1231
00:43:57,481 --> 00:43:59,942
-He's such a bad boy.
-STUDENTS: Ooh.
1232
00:43:59,984 --> 00:44:02,194
(speaking indistinctly
through static)
1233
00:44:02,236 --> 00:44:04,155
* It's tricky to rock a rhyme *
1234
00:44:04,196 --> 00:44:06,782
* To rock a rhyme that's right
on time, it's tricky *
1235
00:44:06,824 --> 00:44:09,285
-* How is it, D? *
-* It's tricky, tricky... *
1236
00:44:09,327 --> 00:44:12,538
All right. I'm afraid you can't
disrupt class any longer.
1237
00:44:12,580 --> 00:44:16,334
Oh, no. Are we gonna have
a talk in your office?
1238
00:44:16,375 --> 00:44:17,960
No.
1239
00:44:18,002 --> 00:44:20,129
-You are gonna have a time-out.
-STUDENTS (gasping): The Box?
1240
00:44:20,171 --> 00:44:22,131
-He's going in the Box.
-(murmuring)
1241
00:44:22,173 --> 00:44:24,633
No, the Box makes you crazy.
1242
00:44:24,675 --> 00:44:26,135
The Box?
1243
00:44:26,177 --> 00:44:29,805
* Sail away,
sail away, sail away *
1244
00:44:29,847 --> 00:44:32,642
(groans)
* Sail away, sail away *
1245
00:44:32,683 --> 00:44:34,101
-* Sail away... *
-(grunts)
1246
00:44:34,143 --> 00:44:36,354
-ARMSTRONG: Sayonara, Marcos.
-(gasps)
1247
00:44:36,395 --> 00:44:38,939
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Your time-out begins now.
1248
00:44:38,981 --> 00:44:40,316
Relax.
1249
00:44:40,358 --> 00:44:42,485
-Wait!
-(music stops)
1250
00:44:42,526 --> 00:44:44,862
(child crying)
1251
00:44:44,904 --> 00:44:46,572
ROBOT VOICE:
Don't cry.
1252
00:44:46,614 --> 00:44:48,491
There, there. All better.
1253
00:44:48,532 --> 00:44:50,826
(Ted grunting)
1254
00:44:50,868 --> 00:44:51,994
(muffled grunting)
1255
00:44:52,036 --> 00:44:54,038
(yells, mumbles)
1256
00:44:54,080 --> 00:44:57,166
(grunting, spitting)
1257
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,586
(sighs)
It's like they always say:
1258
00:45:00,628 --> 00:45:02,463
If you want something
done right,
1259
00:45:02,505 --> 00:45:05,174
you have to do it
without your brother!
1260
00:45:06,050 --> 00:45:09,136
We meet again, doorknob.
1261
00:45:10,680 --> 00:45:12,515
(grunting)
1262
00:45:12,556 --> 00:45:14,183
(door creaking)
1263
00:45:14,976 --> 00:45:16,644
ARMSTRONG:
Hello.
1264
00:45:16,686 --> 00:45:18,145
Welcome, welcome.
1265
00:45:18,187 --> 00:45:20,064
Please come in. Entrez vous?
1266
00:45:20,106 --> 00:45:21,524
You're here.
1267
00:45:21,565 --> 00:45:23,067
Oh, yes. I...
1268
00:45:23,109 --> 00:45:25,277
I was expecting you.
1269
00:45:26,112 --> 00:45:28,197
I... (grunts, yells)
1270
00:45:28,239 --> 00:45:29,198
(button beeps)
1271
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:31,534
I expected that you
1272
00:45:31,575 --> 00:45:34,620
would be expecting me,
so there.
1273
00:45:34,662 --> 00:45:38,165
Oh, and, uh, by the way,
I know why you're here,
1274
00:45:38,207 --> 00:45:40,209
-so, uh... so there.
-(button beeps)
1275
00:45:40,251 --> 00:45:43,045
(chuckles) You do?
1276
00:45:43,087 --> 00:45:45,339
-Mm-hmm. Yes, I do.
-(button beeps)
1277
00:45:45,381 --> 00:45:47,049
-(whirring)
-Have a seat, please.
1278
00:45:47,091 --> 00:45:48,467
(grunts) Thank you.
1279
00:45:48,509 --> 00:45:50,177
-You know what you are?
-Mm?
1280
00:45:50,219 --> 00:45:54,557
You are, if I may,
extremely intelligent.
1281
00:45:54,598 --> 00:45:56,058
Go on. (grunts)
1282
00:45:56,100 --> 00:45:57,685
Uh, as a matter of fact,
I've been observing you.
1283
00:45:57,727 --> 00:45:58,853
(button beeps)
1284
00:45:58,894 --> 00:46:00,813
Spends time wisely. Check.
1285
00:46:00,855 --> 00:46:03,482
Makes good use of
classroom materials. Check.
1286
00:46:03,524 --> 00:46:06,068
Keeps hands to self. Check.
1287
00:46:06,110 --> 00:46:07,611
Hey, forget
"works well with others."
1288
00:46:07,653 --> 00:46:10,740
You make others
work well for you.
1289
00:46:10,781 --> 00:46:14,160
That's literally the title
of the book I'm working on.
1290
00:46:14,201 --> 00:46:16,412
No kidding.
You had no business
1291
00:46:16,454 --> 00:46:18,539
being in Yellow Level, did you?
1292
00:46:18,581 --> 00:46:20,916
-It was sabotage.
-Sabotage. Exactly.
1293
00:46:20,958 --> 00:46:23,502
Jealousy, fear. Hey, I faced
the same obstacles.
1294
00:46:23,544 --> 00:46:27,131
In fact, you know,
you remind me a lot of myself
1295
00:46:27,173 --> 00:46:29,592
when I was your age,
1296
00:46:29,633 --> 00:46:32,428
which is now.
1297
00:46:32,470 --> 00:46:33,888
(grunts)
1298
00:46:35,848 --> 00:46:36,932
What?
1299
00:46:36,974 --> 00:46:38,267
(laughs)
1300
00:46:38,309 --> 00:46:41,604
Surprise, surprise.
1301
00:46:41,646 --> 00:46:44,106
What the frittata?
1302
00:46:44,148 --> 00:46:45,232
Well put.
1303
00:46:45,274 --> 00:46:47,693
He's a ba... You're a baby.
1304
00:46:47,735 --> 00:46:50,279
I repeat, you're a baby.
1305
00:46:50,321 --> 00:46:52,782
So surprised,
you said it twice. (chuckles)
1306
00:46:52,823 --> 00:46:54,283
(laughs)
1307
00:46:54,325 --> 00:46:57,787
Unfortunately, people are, uh,
not ready for a...
1308
00:46:57,828 --> 00:47:00,039
a baby in a position of power.
1309
00:47:00,081 --> 00:47:01,582
Yet.
1310
00:47:01,624 --> 00:47:04,293
Remind me to get the number
of your muttonchop guy.
1311
00:47:04,335 --> 00:47:07,129
You know, I could use
somebody like you.
1312
00:47:07,171 --> 00:47:11,092
With a superior intelligence
like my own.
1313
00:47:11,133 --> 00:47:13,803
-Uh... really?
-Mmm.
1314
00:47:13,844 --> 00:47:15,221
Somebody who can, uh...
1315
00:47:15,262 --> 00:47:17,390
Mmm. (crunching)
1316
00:47:17,431 --> 00:47:18,808
-Mmm. Yeah.
-(gasps)
1317
00:47:18,849 --> 00:47:21,560
Truly comprehend
what I'm trying to accomplish.
1318
00:47:21,602 --> 00:47:24,313
-Well, you're looking at him.
-Bingo.
1319
00:47:24,355 --> 00:47:26,524
Mmm. We have a secret level.
1320
00:47:26,565 --> 00:47:28,192
Mmm.
For very special babies.
1321
00:47:28,234 --> 00:47:29,694
Mmm. The best of the best.
1322
00:47:29,735 --> 00:47:30,945
Ah. The elite.
1323
00:47:30,987 --> 00:47:31,988
Beyond blue?
1324
00:47:32,029 --> 00:47:34,031
Oh, yeah. Way beyond.
1325
00:47:34,073 --> 00:47:36,033
Way beyond. Ooh.
1326
00:47:36,075 --> 00:47:38,160
Mmm. There's a meeting today...
1327
00:47:38,202 --> 00:47:39,912
(slurps)
...after school.
1328
00:47:39,954 --> 00:47:41,455
Babies only.
1329
00:47:41,497 --> 00:47:44,333
We may be small, but we're
about to teach grown-ups
1330
00:47:44,375 --> 00:47:46,711
a big lesson.
1331
00:47:48,087 --> 00:47:50,006
Mmm. Lolly?
1332
00:47:50,047 --> 00:47:51,340
-Okay.
-(school bell ringing)
1333
00:47:51,382 --> 00:47:52,883
Oh. Time for recess.
1334
00:47:52,925 --> 00:47:54,385
-Bye-bye.
-(button beeps)
1335
00:47:55,094 --> 00:47:57,138
(singsongy):
Sayonara....
1336
00:47:57,179 --> 00:47:58,723
(groans)
1337
00:47:59,765 --> 00:48:01,517
(grunts)
1338
00:48:01,559 --> 00:48:03,769
Well, I think that went well.
1339
00:48:04,895 --> 00:48:06,689
-TED (recorded): You're a baby.
-TINA: What?
1340
00:48:06,731 --> 00:48:08,733
-I repeat, you're a baby.
-(scoffs)
1341
00:48:08,774 --> 00:48:10,943
Is he talking to me?
He better not be talking to me,
1342
00:48:10,985 --> 00:48:12,445
because I'll... Armstrong?
1343
00:48:12,486 --> 00:48:14,196
(chuckles)
You're right, Connie.
1344
00:48:14,238 --> 00:48:15,740
He's talking about Armstrong.
1345
00:48:15,781 --> 00:48:17,533
-I don't know what has
gotten into her. -(gasps)
1346
00:48:17,575 --> 00:48:21,203
-But she's acting strange,
Dr. Federman. -(laughing)
1347
00:48:21,245 --> 00:48:23,456
Isn't it a bit early
for terrible twos?
1348
00:48:23,497 --> 00:48:25,333
Is there terrible ones?
Is that a thing?
1349
00:48:25,374 --> 00:48:26,876
Oh, piano-playing bunny,
you slay me.
1350
00:48:26,917 --> 00:48:28,461
Okey dokey.
1351
00:48:28,502 --> 00:48:32,798
We need some eyes on the prize,
visual confirmation here.
1352
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,091
(snoring)
1353
00:48:34,133 --> 00:48:36,344
Oh, Daddy.
1354
00:48:36,385 --> 00:48:38,429
If I were there,
I'd pinch you so hard.
1355
00:48:38,471 --> 00:48:40,306
(sleepily):
* Sail away, sail away... *
1356
00:48:40,348 --> 00:48:42,141
AUTOMATED VOICE:
Your time-out has concluded.
1357
00:48:42,183 --> 00:48:44,060
Sail away! What time is it?
1358
00:48:44,101 --> 00:48:45,770
AUTOMATED VOICE:
It is time for recess.
1359
00:48:45,811 --> 00:48:47,813
I'm late, I'm late,
I'm late, I'm late. Come on.
1360
00:48:47,855 --> 00:48:49,815
(chuckling):
He'll understand, right?
1361
00:48:49,857 --> 00:48:51,651
(gasps) Okay.
Where is he? Where is he?
1362
00:48:51,692 --> 00:48:55,029
-Where is he? Uh...
-(kids chattering, whooping)
1363
00:48:55,071 --> 00:48:56,989
-Oomph! Yeah, baby!
-(cheering)
1364
00:48:57,031 --> 00:48:58,574
No, not my bows.
1365
00:48:58,616 --> 00:49:01,952
-But they're not your bows...
anymore. -(sobbing)
1366
00:49:01,994 --> 00:49:04,955
Yep, where there's crying,
there's my brother.
1367
00:49:06,582 --> 00:49:09,752
(playing "May" from
The Shawshank Redemption)
1368
00:49:09,794 --> 00:49:11,962
BABY (whispers):
Psst. Here you go.
1369
00:49:12,004 --> 00:49:13,547
BABY 2:
Cool.
1370
00:49:14,298 --> 00:49:16,634
(grunting):
Glue. Glue. Glue.
1371
00:49:19,553 --> 00:49:21,305
-Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, blue.
-Whoa!
1372
00:49:21,347 --> 00:49:23,099
Where do you think
youse going? You lost?
1373
00:49:23,140 --> 00:49:24,100
Could you let me through,
please?
1374
00:49:24,141 --> 00:49:25,559
No!
1375
00:49:25,601 --> 00:49:28,270
So, what, did you flunk
coloring class, kid?
1376
00:49:28,312 --> 00:49:29,897
-(laughter)
-Really, guy?
1377
00:49:30,856 --> 00:49:32,608
Mmm, cherry.
1378
00:49:32,650 --> 00:49:33,609
Go on.
1379
00:49:33,651 --> 00:49:34,986
-Blues on the other side.
-(groans)
1380
00:49:35,027 --> 00:49:36,320
TED:
Let him through.
1381
00:49:36,362 --> 00:49:37,446
Okay, he's cool.
1382
00:49:37,488 --> 00:49:38,864
TIM:
See? I'm cool.
1383
00:49:38,906 --> 00:49:40,116
I'm cool.
1384
00:49:40,157 --> 00:49:41,951
You failed me, Tim.
1385
00:49:41,993 --> 00:49:43,411
I was desperate.
1386
00:49:43,452 --> 00:49:46,122
I crawled.
I did things with glue
1387
00:49:46,163 --> 00:49:48,541
that I'm not proud of,
but I made it.
1388
00:49:48,582 --> 00:49:50,501
I made it all the way
to Armstrong's office,
1389
00:49:50,543 --> 00:49:52,503
and then where's Tim?
1390
00:49:52,545 --> 00:49:53,713
-I know. I...
-Where's Tim?
1391
00:49:53,754 --> 00:49:55,464
-I tried to...
-Where's Tim?!
1392
00:49:55,506 --> 00:49:57,341
-I was in the Box, okay?
-(babies gasping)
1393
00:49:57,383 --> 00:49:58,592
-TED: The Box?
-The Box?
1394
00:49:58,634 --> 00:49:59,468
Glue.
1395
00:49:59,510 --> 00:50:01,012
Yeah, that's right.
1396
00:50:01,053 --> 00:50:02,263
(whispers):
The Box.
1397
00:50:02,305 --> 00:50:03,639
Show a little respect.
1398
00:50:03,681 --> 00:50:06,559
See, Tim, this is why
I work alone.
1399
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:09,145
-(sighs)
-I'll succeed in the mission.
1400
00:50:09,186 --> 00:50:10,688
You can take the pony home.
1401
00:50:10,730 --> 00:50:13,065
The only thing
you're ever gonna succeed at
1402
00:50:13,107 --> 00:50:14,108
is being alone.
1403
00:50:14,150 --> 00:50:15,318
-Fine.
-Fine!
1404
00:50:15,359 --> 00:50:16,819
Fine!
1405
00:50:16,861 --> 00:50:18,321
I like ponies.
1406
00:50:18,362 --> 00:50:20,698
Aah! Thank you for sharing.
1407
00:50:20,740 --> 00:50:23,034
(piano playing gentle tune)
1408
00:50:25,870 --> 00:50:27,705
-(Nathan groans in frustration)
-(piano plays discordant notes)
1409
00:50:27,747 --> 00:50:29,332
NATHAN:
You are blowing it, Templeton!
1410
00:50:29,373 --> 00:50:30,499
MEGHAN:
Yeah, Templeton.
1411
00:50:30,541 --> 00:50:31,917
TABITHA:
I'm trying.
1412
00:50:31,959 --> 00:50:34,587
NATHAN: Ugh! You always
come in a beat late.
1413
00:50:34,628 --> 00:50:37,089
I'm sorry, Nathan.
I'm doing my best.
1414
00:50:37,131 --> 00:50:41,010
Your best is going to keep me
out of going to Juilliard.
1415
00:50:41,052 --> 00:50:42,970
-Yeah, Templeton.
-It's one, two, three
1416
00:50:43,012 --> 00:50:45,389
-and one, two, three.
-MEGHAN: One, two, three.
1417
00:50:45,431 --> 00:50:46,891
NATHAN and MEGHAN:
And one, two, three
1418
00:50:46,932 --> 00:50:49,685
and one, two, three
and one, two, three.
1419
00:50:49,727 --> 00:50:53,022
-And one, two...
-Oh, come on!
1420
00:50:53,064 --> 00:50:54,357
Are you kidding me?
1421
00:50:54,398 --> 00:50:56,025
I just can't do it
right now, okay?
1422
00:50:56,067 --> 00:50:57,485
I can't. I just can't.
1423
00:50:57,526 --> 00:50:59,654
-I'll do it tomorrow.
-MEGHAN: Seriously?
1424
00:50:59,695 --> 00:51:01,530
-(school bell rings)
-(kids cheering)
1425
00:51:01,572 --> 00:51:03,783
NATHAN: All right,
all right, all right.
1426
00:51:03,824 --> 00:51:06,202
See you at the pageant
tomorrow.
1427
00:51:06,243 --> 00:51:08,162
Beat it!
1428
00:51:12,792 --> 00:51:15,961
MEGHAN: Oh, Nathan,
Nathan, let me do it.
1429
00:51:16,003 --> 00:51:17,338
Let me do it, Nathan.
1430
00:51:17,380 --> 00:51:18,881
I want to sing the song.
1431
00:51:18,923 --> 00:51:20,216
No.
1432
00:51:20,257 --> 00:51:22,176
I want to see her fail.
1433
00:51:22,218 --> 00:51:23,886
Oh.
1434
00:51:23,928 --> 00:51:25,513
Pure genius.
1435
00:51:25,554 --> 00:51:27,723
-(laughing)
-(plays ominous chords)
1436
00:51:27,765 --> 00:51:29,392
NATHAN:
I can't wait.
1437
00:51:29,433 --> 00:51:30,935
-We'll see about that.
-(school bell ringing)
1438
00:51:30,977 --> 00:51:32,895
ARMSTRONG (over speaker):
Goodbye, children.
1439
00:51:32,937 --> 00:51:34,063
Sayonara.
1440
00:51:34,105 --> 00:51:35,398
Auf Wiedersehen.
1441
00:51:35,439 --> 00:51:36,565
Adieu.
1442
00:51:36,607 --> 00:51:38,526
Adios, niños.
1443
00:51:38,567 --> 00:51:40,069
(students chattering)
1444
00:51:40,111 --> 00:51:41,570
-(sighs)
-(horse neighs)
1445
00:51:41,612 --> 00:51:43,197
(Tim gasps)
1446
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:44,573
Oh, come on.
1447
00:51:45,449 --> 00:51:46,659
(yells)
1448
00:51:47,785 --> 00:51:49,161
(yelps)
1449
00:51:49,203 --> 00:51:51,580
Oh, my gosh.
1450
00:51:51,622 --> 00:51:55,042
-Stop what you're doing.
-(chatter stops)
1451
00:51:55,084 --> 00:51:56,419
I see a baby pony.
1452
00:51:56,460 --> 00:51:58,254
-(screaming)
-(excited chatter)
1453
00:51:58,295 --> 00:51:59,797
I like ponies.
1454
00:51:59,839 --> 00:52:01,090
STUDENT:
Oh, over there!
1455
00:52:01,132 --> 00:52:02,258
-Yes!
-(laughter)
1456
00:52:02,299 --> 00:52:04,427
It's so cute!
1457
00:52:04,468 --> 00:52:06,220
(excited chatter)
1458
00:52:06,262 --> 00:52:08,639
(horn honks)
1459
00:52:12,518 --> 00:52:14,312
That's it? No hello?
1460
00:52:14,353 --> 00:52:16,355
-Not even a "Hi, Mom"?
-What?
1461
00:52:16,397 --> 00:52:18,232
-Hi, Tabitha!
-(gasps)
1462
00:52:18,274 --> 00:52:20,151
-Oh. Hi.
-(Tina coughs)
1463
00:52:20,943 --> 00:52:22,528
What?
You never told me you had
1464
00:52:22,570 --> 00:52:24,405
an older sister
who could drive.
1465
00:52:24,447 --> 00:52:25,906
Uh, that's my mom.
1466
00:52:25,948 --> 00:52:27,658
Tabitha, don't interrupt.
(chuckles)
1467
00:52:27,700 --> 00:52:29,744
-Yeah, I'm a new friend
of Tabitha's... -Hey, stop.
1468
00:52:29,785 --> 00:52:31,787
-(mumbling)
-Oh, really?
1469
00:52:31,829 --> 00:52:33,622
I-I mean, we just met.
1470
00:52:33,664 --> 00:52:34,665
Well, what's your name,
new friend?
1471
00:52:34,707 --> 00:52:36,751
Stop. You're embarrassing me.
1472
00:52:36,792 --> 00:52:39,086
-Marcos. Marcos Lightspeed.
-(horse neighs)
1473
00:52:39,128 --> 00:52:40,463
(babbles, grunts)
1474
00:52:40,504 --> 00:52:41,839
-Ow!
-CAROL: Tina!
1475
00:52:41,881 --> 00:52:43,299
-What is with you?
-(Tim chuckles)
1476
00:52:43,341 --> 00:52:44,759
Cute kid.
1477
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,719
Well, I better get going
if I'm gonna walk those
1478
00:52:46,761 --> 00:52:49,305
three and a half miles home...
1479
00:52:49,347 --> 00:52:50,681
in the snow...
1480
00:52:50,723 --> 00:52:52,308
without a jacket.
1481
00:52:52,350 --> 00:52:54,143
Three and a half miles?
1482
00:52:54,185 --> 00:52:56,979
Three and a half, six--
somewhere in there. (chuckles)
1483
00:52:57,021 --> 00:52:59,357
Yeah, well, that TV dinner
is not gonna microwave itself.
1484
00:52:59,398 --> 00:53:00,775
TV dinner?
1485
00:53:00,816 --> 00:53:03,152
Yeah, I'm a latchkey kid,
so I eat whatever I want.
1486
00:53:03,194 --> 00:53:05,196
-Cartoons are my babysitter.
-(tires screech)
1487
00:53:05,237 --> 00:53:06,405
-No.
-Oh, yeah.
1488
00:53:06,447 --> 00:53:08,407
(scoffs)
1489
00:53:08,449 --> 00:53:11,702
* Strangers in the night *
1490
00:53:11,744 --> 00:53:14,205
* Exchanging glances *
1491
00:53:14,246 --> 00:53:15,498
* Lovers... *
1492
00:53:15,539 --> 00:53:16,999
What is this?
1493
00:53:17,041 --> 00:53:19,335
Some kind of prank?
1494
00:53:19,377 --> 00:53:20,670
Children can be so cruel.
1495
00:53:20,711 --> 00:53:22,129
-Hello.
-(electronic chime)
1496
00:53:22,171 --> 00:53:24,965
(screaming)
1497
00:53:25,007 --> 00:53:26,676
(grunts)
1498
00:53:29,136 --> 00:53:30,638
(retches)
1499
00:53:30,680 --> 00:53:32,932
-(grunts)
-(babies yelling, laughing)
1500
00:53:34,141 --> 00:53:35,518
(grunts)
1501
00:53:35,559 --> 00:53:37,103
(retches)
1502
00:53:37,144 --> 00:53:41,232
Whoa. This is exactly like
Bill Gates' rec room...
1503
00:53:41,273 --> 00:53:43,734
but a little smaller.
1504
00:53:44,485 --> 00:53:46,570
(grunting)
1505
00:53:47,530 --> 00:53:49,782
-(straining)
-(scraping)
1506
00:53:52,618 --> 00:53:55,371
What is all this?
1507
00:53:55,413 --> 00:53:57,665
Research and development?
1508
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:01,210
Product testing?
1509
00:54:02,837 --> 00:54:07,299
Huh. Something tells me
this isn't day care.
1510
00:54:08,342 --> 00:54:11,220
Boy, could I use
a spy camera right about now.
1511
00:54:11,262 --> 00:54:14,765
* Sail away, sail away,
sail away. *
1512
00:54:15,558 --> 00:54:17,310
Anyway...
1513
00:54:18,978 --> 00:54:21,397
-(gasps)
-(muffled babbling)
1514
00:54:21,439 --> 00:54:22,982
TED:
Aw.
1515
00:54:23,024 --> 00:54:26,068
Now, aren't you a cutie
in that little karate outfit.
1516
00:54:26,110 --> 00:54:27,403
(baby grunts)
1517
00:54:27,445 --> 00:54:28,654
Huh.
1518
00:54:28,696 --> 00:54:30,823
(all whooping, grunting)
1519
00:54:30,865 --> 00:54:33,576
Is this some kind
of a ninja boy band?
1520
00:54:33,617 --> 00:54:34,785
(screams)
1521
00:54:34,827 --> 00:54:37,413
-Whoa...!
-(babies whooping)
1522
00:54:37,455 --> 00:54:39,415
Whoa!
1523
00:54:39,457 --> 00:54:41,250
Oh. Whoa, whoa.
1524
00:54:41,292 --> 00:54:43,169
(all grunting, whooping)
1525
00:54:43,210 --> 00:54:45,421
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh!
1526
00:54:45,463 --> 00:54:46,422
(screams)
1527
00:54:46,464 --> 00:54:47,923
Whoa. (yells)
1528
00:54:47,965 --> 00:54:48,924
I give up.
1529
00:54:48,966 --> 00:54:52,678
Cobra Kai! Cobra Kai!
1530
00:54:52,720 --> 00:54:55,723
(all grunting rapidly)
1531
00:54:55,765 --> 00:54:57,600
TED:
Sayonara, baby!
1532
00:54:57,642 --> 00:54:59,644
-Hey, there you are.
-Oh, hello! (coughs)
1533
00:54:59,685 --> 00:55:00,978
Thank you. (sighs)
1534
00:55:01,020 --> 00:55:02,772
I see that you've angered
my baby ninjas.
1535
00:55:02,813 --> 00:55:04,190
-Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
-(baby laughs, grunts)
1536
00:55:04,231 --> 00:55:05,941
-Shoo. Shoo. (chuckles)
-(sneezes, babbles)
1537
00:55:05,983 --> 00:55:08,152
What maniacal underground
fortress doesn't have ninjas?
1538
00:55:08,194 --> 00:55:09,779
-Am I right? (grunts)
-Impressive, huh?
1539
00:55:09,820 --> 00:55:11,113
Pretty impressive.
1540
00:55:11,155 --> 00:55:12,615
What do you think?
What do you think?
1541
00:55:12,657 --> 00:55:13,741
TED:
I know tuition is pretty steep,
1542
00:55:13,783 --> 00:55:15,868
but how do you afford all this?
1543
00:55:15,910 --> 00:55:17,828
ARMSTRONG:
Oh, that's a good question.
1544
00:55:17,870 --> 00:55:20,414
-I taught babies to code.
-No.
1545
00:55:20,456 --> 00:55:22,416
ARMSTRONG: Yes. And you know
what they say about having
1546
00:55:22,458 --> 00:55:24,627
an infinite amount of monkeys
banging on typewriters?
1547
00:55:24,669 --> 00:55:26,504
They will eventually
write Shakespeare?
1548
00:55:26,545 --> 00:55:28,673
A-plus.
Oh, boy, you are smart.
1549
00:55:28,714 --> 00:55:32,593
Or the most popular apps
that money can buy.
1550
00:55:32,635 --> 00:55:34,679
Apps. They're writing apps.
1551
00:55:34,720 --> 00:55:36,305
-Cat Chat.
-(cat meows)
1552
00:55:36,347 --> 00:55:37,640
Palm Doodle.
1553
00:55:37,682 --> 00:55:39,308
Ooh, Find My Nose.
1554
00:55:39,350 --> 00:55:40,726
-(Ted gasps)
-Stock Crush.
1555
00:55:40,768 --> 00:55:42,311
-You did Stock Crush?
-(cash register dings)
1556
00:55:42,353 --> 00:55:43,980
I love Stock Crush.
1557
00:55:44,021 --> 00:55:46,899
All us. But my next app...
1558
00:55:46,941 --> 00:55:49,652
ooh, it's gonna change
the world.
1559
00:55:49,694 --> 00:55:50,736
Forever.
1560
00:55:50,778 --> 00:55:52,071
So why bother with a school?
1561
00:55:52,113 --> 00:55:54,615
You could go public
and make millions.
1562
00:55:54,657 --> 00:55:56,367
Oh. (laughs)
1563
00:55:56,409 --> 00:55:58,744
-Billions.
-Billions.
1564
00:55:58,786 --> 00:56:01,831
Yeah, but some things are
more important than money.
1565
00:56:01,872 --> 00:56:03,499
Please don't say "love."
1566
00:56:03,541 --> 00:56:05,710
Mmm. Power.
1567
00:56:05,751 --> 00:56:07,920
That's more like it.
1568
00:56:08,879 --> 00:56:10,756
TIM:
Wow. This is so amazing.
1569
00:56:10,798 --> 00:56:13,509
First, the ride, and now
a-a full sit-down dinner.
1570
00:56:13,551 --> 00:56:15,219
Wow. What a palace.
1571
00:56:15,261 --> 00:56:17,638
-I mean, you have electricity?
-Well, yeah.
1572
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:19,807
Man, you guys
are beyond generous.
1573
00:56:19,849 --> 00:56:21,851
You're welcome anytime.
1574
00:56:21,892 --> 00:56:23,477
-(groans)
-CAROL: Tabitha, would you mind
1575
00:56:23,519 --> 00:56:25,146
-setting the table?
-Okay, Mom.
1576
00:56:25,187 --> 00:56:27,398
Really? You're just gonna
throw that right there, huh?
1577
00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:28,566
(gasps)
1578
00:56:28,607 --> 00:56:31,193
Psst. Psst. Daddy.
1579
00:56:31,235 --> 00:56:33,070
-Shh! It's Marcos.
-What are you doing here?
1580
00:56:33,112 --> 00:56:34,655
-Where's Uncle Ted?
-What?
1581
00:56:34,697 --> 00:56:35,698
He kicked me off the mission.
1582
00:56:35,740 --> 00:56:36,657
He can't do that.
1583
00:56:36,699 --> 00:56:37,700
Only I can do that.
1584
00:56:37,742 --> 00:56:38,909
You're back on the mission.
1585
00:56:38,951 --> 00:56:40,369
No need.
I have my own mission now.
1586
00:56:40,411 --> 00:56:42,663
What? What could be more
important than my mission?
1587
00:56:42,705 --> 00:56:44,874
Got to go. Lightspeed out.
1588
00:56:46,083 --> 00:56:47,543
This is so great.
(chuckles)
1589
00:56:47,585 --> 00:56:49,128
Well, I hope you're hungry.
1590
00:56:49,170 --> 00:56:50,838
Been so long since I've
used silverware. (chuckles)
1591
00:56:50,880 --> 00:56:53,341
So, how'd you like
your first day?
1592
00:56:53,382 --> 00:56:54,717
Kind of intense.
1593
00:56:54,759 --> 00:56:56,719
(chuckles):
Yeah. You'll get used to it.
1594
00:56:56,761 --> 00:56:58,262
-Even that Nathan kid?
-Nathan.
1595
00:56:58,304 --> 00:57:00,514
-Ugh. He's a mess.
-(chuckles): Yeah.
1596
00:57:00,556 --> 00:57:02,725
-He is such a square.
-A square?
1597
00:57:02,767 --> 00:57:04,727
Uh, yeah, you know,
like a dork.
1598
00:57:04,769 --> 00:57:06,646
Dweeb. Nerdlet.
A real poindexter.
1599
00:57:06,687 --> 00:57:08,189
Lame-o. Dorkus to the max.
1600
00:57:08,230 --> 00:57:10,024
(chuckles)
They used to call me.
1601
00:57:10,066 --> 00:57:12,526
-(chuckles) You're weird.
-I am?
1602
00:57:12,568 --> 00:57:14,570
Yeah, but in a good way.
1603
00:57:14,612 --> 00:57:16,072
(both chuckle)
1604
00:57:16,113 --> 00:57:18,658
So, why is the pageant
stressing you out so much?
1605
00:57:18,699 --> 00:57:20,785
(groans)
I have to sing.
1606
00:57:20,826 --> 00:57:22,995
-So what?
-I don't know.
1607
00:57:23,037 --> 00:57:25,373
My whole family is
going to be there,
1608
00:57:25,414 --> 00:57:27,541
including my dad.
1609
00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:29,085
Oh.
1610
00:57:29,126 --> 00:57:30,503
Right.
1611
00:57:30,544 --> 00:57:32,588
You're embarrassed of him?
1612
00:57:32,630 --> 00:57:34,674
No. No, it's not that.
1613
00:57:34,715 --> 00:57:36,217
(Tim sighs heavily)
1614
00:57:36,258 --> 00:57:38,010
It's just, he's really good
at this kind of thing--
1615
00:57:38,052 --> 00:57:41,806
being creative
and using your imagination--
1616
00:57:41,847 --> 00:57:43,849
but it's hard for me.
1617
00:57:43,891 --> 00:57:46,102
I just want him
to be proud of me.
1618
00:57:46,143 --> 00:57:47,436
You know?
1619
00:57:47,478 --> 00:57:49,438
(coos)
1620
00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:50,439
Really?
1621
00:57:50,481 --> 00:57:53,150
Well, yeah.
1622
00:57:54,110 --> 00:57:56,278
Um, who are
these extra plates for?
1623
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:58,114
-(doorbell rings)
-(whispers): Mom and Dad.
1624
00:57:58,155 --> 00:58:00,032
Hey, hey!
The key still works!
1625
00:58:00,074 --> 00:58:01,575
You guys should really
change the locks.
1626
00:58:01,617 --> 00:58:03,160
-Oh, you made it.
-Look who's here!
1627
00:58:03,202 --> 00:58:03,953
Mom and Dad.
1628
00:58:03,995 --> 00:58:05,121
TABITHA:
Grandma! Grandpa!
1629
00:58:05,162 --> 00:58:06,914
-TED SR.: There she is.
-(gasps)
1630
00:58:06,956 --> 00:58:08,416
-Come here, my little
tabby cat. -Yay! You're here!
1631
00:58:08,457 --> 00:58:10,501
-Look at how big you are.
-You're almost a teenager.
1632
00:58:10,543 --> 00:58:11,919
Can you vote yet?
1633
00:58:11,961 --> 00:58:13,170
TABITHA: Ten and a half
more years, Grandma.
1634
00:58:13,212 --> 00:58:14,422
Daddy, they're gonna
recognize you.
1635
00:58:14,463 --> 00:58:15,589
No, no. It's fine.
1636
00:58:15,631 --> 00:58:17,508
I've got the glasses. See?
1637
00:58:17,550 --> 00:58:18,968
-TED SR. and TABITHA: Selfie!
-How do you do it again?
1638
00:58:19,010 --> 00:58:20,261
Bring out the baby.
1639
00:58:20,303 --> 00:58:21,846
-Hide!
-Where are you hiding that baby?
1640
00:58:21,887 --> 00:58:23,264
No. Just be cool. Be cool.
1641
00:58:23,306 --> 00:58:24,807
-JANICE: There she is.
-TED SR.: Hello.
1642
00:58:24,849 --> 00:58:26,058
TED SR.:
Hey, who's the new guy?
1643
00:58:26,100 --> 00:58:27,977
-That's Marcos.
-I gotcha.
1644
00:58:28,019 --> 00:58:31,230
(babies clamoring)
1645
00:58:31,272 --> 00:58:33,566
Attention, babies. Bienvenue.
1646
00:58:33,607 --> 00:58:35,318
Willkommen.
1647
00:58:35,359 --> 00:58:36,694
Dobro pozhalovat'.
1648
00:58:36,736 --> 00:58:39,447
-And namaste.
-(clamoring continues)
1649
00:58:39,488 --> 00:58:41,407
Uh, babies.
1650
00:58:41,449 --> 00:58:42,742
Hey, hey.
1651
00:58:42,783 --> 00:58:44,201
-No more screen time.
-(clamoring stops)
1652
00:58:44,243 --> 00:58:46,579
-(whimpering)
-ARMSTRONG: Listen.
1653
00:58:46,620 --> 00:58:49,874
Believe it or not,
I used to be just like you.
1654
00:58:49,915 --> 00:58:52,501
-(cooing)
-Yes. I even had parents.
1655
00:58:52,543 --> 00:58:55,921
Mine were child psychologists
1656
00:58:55,963 --> 00:58:58,424
who made me part
of an experiment.
1657
00:58:58,466 --> 00:58:59,675
Really?
1658
00:58:59,717 --> 00:59:02,345
They exposed me to 10,000 hours
1659
00:59:02,386 --> 00:59:05,931
-of Mozart, language lessons
and public radio. -Huh. Wow.
1660
00:59:05,973 --> 00:59:07,725
I hate public radio.
1661
00:59:07,767 --> 00:59:11,270
It was at that point I realized
I was smarter than my parents.
1662
00:59:11,312 --> 00:59:15,274
And with my first step,
I ran away from home.
1663
00:59:15,316 --> 00:59:17,526
-(babies moan sadly)
-Why?
1664
00:59:17,568 --> 00:59:19,362
They pushed me around.
1665
00:59:19,403 --> 00:59:21,530
I got told what to do
all the time.
1666
00:59:21,572 --> 00:59:22,698
(crying)
1667
00:59:22,740 --> 00:59:25,743
But a single word
changed my life.
1668
00:59:25,785 --> 00:59:27,370
"No." Say it.
1669
00:59:27,411 --> 00:59:28,704
ALL:
No!
1670
00:59:28,746 --> 00:59:30,706
-Take a nap.
-Nyet!
1671
00:59:30,748 --> 00:59:32,625
-Put on your coat.
-Nein!
1672
00:59:32,667 --> 00:59:35,002
-Eat your vegetables.
-Nahii!
1673
00:59:35,044 --> 00:59:37,296
Are you gonna let grown-ups
push you around?
1674
00:59:37,338 --> 00:59:39,674
No, no! No, no, no!
No, no! No, no, no!
1675
00:59:39,715 --> 00:59:41,050
-Are you?
-Good God, no.
1676
00:59:41,092 --> 00:59:42,385
That's right.
1677
00:59:42,426 --> 00:59:45,388
Why do parents get to be
in charge, anyway?
1678
00:59:45,429 --> 00:59:47,807
They had their chance,
and what did we get?
1679
00:59:47,848 --> 00:59:51,978
Pollution, politics, wars.
1680
00:59:52,019 --> 00:59:54,355
BABIES:
Ooh.
1681
00:59:54,397 --> 00:59:56,399
Not "ooh." "Boo."
1682
00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:58,025
ALL:
Boo!
1683
00:59:58,067 --> 01:00:01,404
The only thing holding us back
is them,
1684
01:00:01,445 --> 01:00:03,072
but not anymore.
1685
01:00:03,114 --> 01:00:06,993
The moment that we've worked
so hard for is almost here.
1686
01:00:07,034 --> 01:00:08,160
-B-Day.
-(babies cheering)
1687
01:00:08,202 --> 01:00:09,412
-B-Day?
-B-Day.
1688
01:00:09,453 --> 01:00:11,539
-I'm this many.
-I'm this many.
1689
01:00:11,580 --> 01:00:13,916
No, no, it's not...
it's not your birthday.
1690
01:00:13,958 --> 01:00:16,794
It's the beginning
of the baby revolution.
1691
01:00:16,836 --> 01:00:18,629
-Yay, yay.
-(babies cheering)
1692
01:00:18,671 --> 01:00:21,298
And there'll be cake.
Cake for everybody.
1693
01:00:21,340 --> 01:00:24,093
BABIES (chanting): Cake! Cake!
Cake! Cake! Cake! Cake!
1694
01:00:24,135 --> 01:00:25,720
-No more rules.
-(chanting continues)
1695
01:00:25,761 --> 01:00:27,596
Oh là là!
1696
01:00:27,638 --> 01:00:29,348
No more parents.
1697
01:00:29,390 --> 01:00:30,599
Uh-oh.
1698
01:00:30,641 --> 01:00:31,767
Pew, pew, pew, pew!
1699
01:00:31,809 --> 01:00:34,270
Sayonara, Mama and Papa!
1700
01:00:34,312 --> 01:00:36,314
-Oh, this is bad.
-(chuckles)
1701
01:00:36,355 --> 01:00:38,232
All right, pep rally's over.
1702
01:00:38,274 --> 01:00:40,651
Your-your parents
are gonna pick you up.
1703
01:00:40,693 --> 01:00:41,736
(crying)
1704
01:00:41,777 --> 01:00:43,279
This is my life's work.
1705
01:00:43,321 --> 01:00:46,240
Oh, yes, 17 long months.
1706
01:00:46,282 --> 01:00:48,868
To... no more parents.
(laughs)
1707
01:00:48,909 --> 01:00:50,536
Mmm. (gargles, slurps)
1708
01:00:50,578 --> 01:00:52,997
Cheers to the revolution.
1709
01:00:53,956 --> 01:00:55,666
-No. Nope. Nope.
-(Tabitha chuckles)
1710
01:00:55,708 --> 01:00:57,543
-No. Oh, that's a keeper.
-TABITHA: Oh, Tina.
1711
01:00:57,585 --> 01:00:59,670
Oh, it's so cute.
What's the app called?
1712
01:00:59,712 --> 01:01:01,130
-It's called QT Snap.
-Oh.
1713
01:01:01,172 --> 01:01:03,090
-Show me how to download that.
-Everyone has it.
1714
01:01:03,132 --> 01:01:05,134
So, Marcos... Lightspeed?
1715
01:01:05,176 --> 01:01:06,761
-Is that what you said?
-Mm-hmm.
1716
01:01:06,802 --> 01:01:08,596
Sounds like a cartoon name.
1717
01:01:08,638 --> 01:01:09,805
(laughing)
1718
01:01:09,847 --> 01:01:11,641
-It really does.
-(laughs awkwardly)
1719
01:01:11,682 --> 01:01:14,602
Well, my parents,
they're a little wacky, so...
1720
01:01:14,644 --> 01:01:16,228
(slurping)
1721
01:01:16,270 --> 01:01:18,981
Huh. It's like I know you
from somewhere.
1722
01:01:19,023 --> 01:01:20,358
I don't think so.
1723
01:01:20,399 --> 01:01:22,026
-That is a keeper, too.
-Hey. Hey.
1724
01:01:22,068 --> 01:01:24,070
-Doesn't he look familiar?
-I don't think I do.
1725
01:01:24,111 --> 01:01:25,529
Yeah, he looks just like Tim.
1726
01:01:25,571 --> 01:01:27,156
Yeah. You look like Tim.
1727
01:01:27,198 --> 01:01:29,367
-(coughs)
-Hmm? -Huh?
1728
01:01:29,408 --> 01:01:30,910
Except Tim didn't wear glasses.
1729
01:01:30,951 --> 01:01:33,079
Oh, that's right.
(scoffs)
1730
01:01:33,120 --> 01:01:35,581
Huh. Well, how about that.
1731
01:01:35,623 --> 01:01:38,167
-(Tina sighs)
-Hey, where is Tim, anyway?
1732
01:01:38,209 --> 01:01:40,002
Tim and Ted are on a trip.
1733
01:01:40,044 --> 01:01:42,213
-TED SR. and JANICE: Together?
-They're bonding.
1734
01:01:42,254 --> 01:01:44,298
-Well, that's about time.
-Yeah.
1735
01:01:44,340 --> 01:01:46,509
I just hope Tim's back
in time for the pageant.
1736
01:01:46,550 --> 01:01:48,010
-(Janice scoffs)
-(Ted Sr. chuckles)
1737
01:01:48,052 --> 01:01:50,972
Uh, why...
why wouldn't he be there?
1738
01:01:51,013 --> 01:01:53,015
-(laughs) Tim Time.
-Tim Time.
1739
01:01:53,057 --> 01:01:54,058
-JANICE: Oh. (chuckles)
-(Carol laughs)
1740
01:01:54,100 --> 01:01:55,184
What's-what's Tim Time?
1741
01:01:55,226 --> 01:01:56,686
-Go ahead.
-Okay.
1742
01:01:56,727 --> 01:02:00,648
Well, Marcos, Tim Time
is like a black hole
1743
01:02:00,690 --> 01:02:05,111
where things like reality
and being on time get lost.
1744
01:02:05,152 --> 01:02:06,570
-(Tabitha laughs)
-Oh.
1745
01:02:06,612 --> 01:02:09,365
Tabitha's father has
a very active imagination.
1746
01:02:09,407 --> 01:02:11,117
Which is a good thing.
1747
01:02:11,158 --> 01:02:12,827
Yeah, that's a...
I'd say that's a good thing.
1748
01:02:12,868 --> 01:02:16,205
Oh, remember when he said our
boss was trying to kidnap us?
1749
01:02:16,247 --> 01:02:17,748
-He did?
-(laughter)
1750
01:02:17,790 --> 01:02:20,334
TED SR.: Or that his baby
brother could walk and talk
1751
01:02:20,376 --> 01:02:22,003
but only when
we weren't looking.
1752
01:02:22,044 --> 01:02:23,337
(laughter)
1753
01:02:23,379 --> 01:02:25,256
("William TellOverture"
playing)
1754
01:02:25,297 --> 01:02:28,134
(chuckling):
Wow. Turn around.
1755
01:02:29,677 --> 01:02:31,345
TABITHA:
That's so Dad.
1756
01:02:31,387 --> 01:02:34,056
You know, Ted was
quite a handful himself.
1757
01:02:34,098 --> 01:02:36,392
-Oh, he could be very...
-TED SR.: Uptight.
1758
01:02:36,434 --> 01:02:38,185
JANICE:
Mm. Yes. High-strung.
1759
01:02:38,227 --> 01:02:40,604
Oh. Remember the time
he sued us?
1760
01:02:40,646 --> 01:02:43,357
-(laughter)
-JANICE: Teenagers. Ugh.
1761
01:02:43,399 --> 01:02:45,609
He really looked up
to his big brother, though.
1762
01:02:45,651 --> 01:02:47,778
-BOTH: He did?
-JANICE: Oh, yeah.
1763
01:02:47,820 --> 01:02:49,613
He wouldn't leave him alone.
1764
01:02:49,655 --> 01:02:51,240
Everything Tim did,
Teddy wanted to do.
1765
01:02:51,282 --> 01:02:52,783
-TABITHA: Really?
-Yeah.
1766
01:02:52,825 --> 01:02:54,910
-Tagalong Teddy, we called him.
-(Tabitha chuckles)
1767
01:02:54,952 --> 01:02:57,079
-JANICE: Well, not to his face.
-TED SR.: No, no.
1768
01:02:57,121 --> 01:02:59,332
Not to his face.
He was very litigious.
1769
01:02:59,373 --> 01:03:01,584
But you know what?
Your dad didn't mind.
1770
01:03:01,625 --> 01:03:03,627
He was so proud
of his little brother.
1771
01:03:03,669 --> 01:03:05,463
-Oh, yeah.
-He loved showing him off.
1772
01:03:05,504 --> 01:03:08,174
TED SR.: Those guys did
everything together.
1773
01:03:08,215 --> 01:03:10,259
JANICE:
They were best friends.
1774
01:03:10,301 --> 01:03:12,011
-Just like you and me.
-(Tina giggling)
1775
01:03:12,053 --> 01:03:13,763
Right, Tina?
1776
01:03:13,804 --> 01:03:15,097
Best friends forever.
1777
01:03:15,139 --> 01:03:16,432
-Tickle monster!
-(Carol chuckles)
1778
01:03:16,474 --> 01:03:18,601
CAROL:
That's so sweet.
1779
01:03:26,317 --> 01:03:27,777
TABITHA:
And this is my closet.
1780
01:03:27,818 --> 01:03:29,612
-TIM: Oh, cool closet.
-And this is my bed.
1781
01:03:29,654 --> 01:03:31,572
-And this is my fish.
-(tapping)
1782
01:03:31,614 --> 01:03:35,326
-Hey, want to see something
really, really cool? -Sure.
1783
01:03:36,327 --> 01:03:38,287
I made this vocalizer
for Dr. Hawking.
1784
01:03:38,329 --> 01:03:40,081
Hey, my old...
1785
01:03:40,122 --> 01:03:42,041
-What did you do?!
-Check this out.
1786
01:03:42,083 --> 01:03:44,210
Say hello, Dr. Hawking.
1787
01:03:45,127 --> 01:03:47,129
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Hell-l-l-l-l...
1788
01:03:47,171 --> 01:03:50,800
(grunts)
Um, he has performance anxiety.
1789
01:03:50,841 --> 01:03:52,218
Mm-hmm. Yep.
1790
01:03:52,259 --> 01:03:53,886
Oh, this is Lamb Lamb.
1791
01:03:53,928 --> 01:03:55,429
Hey, Lamb Lamb.
1792
01:03:55,471 --> 01:03:58,140
That's my galaxy model
right up there on my shelf.
1793
01:03:58,182 --> 01:04:00,351
My scientist of the week award.
1794
01:04:00,393 --> 01:04:02,228
-Wow.
-My geode rock collection.
1795
01:04:02,269 --> 01:04:03,813
And my telescope.
1796
01:04:03,854 --> 01:04:04,981
Sweet.
1797
01:04:05,022 --> 01:04:07,316
-Hey, cool guitar.
-Yeah.
1798
01:04:07,358 --> 01:04:08,359
That's my dad's.
1799
01:04:08,401 --> 01:04:10,236
Cool dad. (grunts)
1800
01:04:10,277 --> 01:04:11,529
Are you okay?
1801
01:04:11,570 --> 01:04:13,823
Yeah, I'm a lot taller
in my mind.
1802
01:04:13,864 --> 01:04:17,034
Hey, if you want,
I can help you with your song.
1803
01:04:17,076 --> 01:04:19,328
No, you can't.
1804
01:04:19,370 --> 01:04:20,997
-Your ears will bleed.
-Oh, please.
1805
01:04:21,038 --> 01:04:22,665
It'll be fun.
1806
01:04:22,707 --> 01:04:25,251
How about this one?
It's a classic.
1807
01:04:25,292 --> 01:04:27,336
(sighs)
Do we have to?
1808
01:04:27,378 --> 01:04:29,672
Come on. Let's try.
1809
01:04:30,673 --> 01:04:32,425
Okay.
1810
01:04:33,467 --> 01:04:35,052
It's not gonna be good, though.
1811
01:04:35,094 --> 01:04:36,220
No judgment.
1812
01:04:36,262 --> 01:04:37,763
We're just having fun.
1813
01:04:37,805 --> 01:04:39,890
(playing gentle melody)
1814
01:04:42,727 --> 01:04:46,772
(off-key):
* There's no place like home *
1815
01:04:46,814 --> 01:04:48,941
* For the holidays *
1816
01:04:48,983 --> 01:04:50,901
ROBOTIC VOICE:
Please stop.
1817
01:04:50,943 --> 01:04:54,530
-No, stop. Aah...!
-* 'Cause no matter *
1818
01:04:54,572 --> 01:04:57,199
* How far away you roam... *
1819
01:04:57,241 --> 01:04:58,617
(stops playing)
1820
01:04:58,659 --> 01:05:00,369
Good... try.
1821
01:05:00,411 --> 01:05:03,039
Ugh! I just get so nervous.
1822
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:05,041
(chuckles):
That's okay.
1823
01:05:05,082 --> 01:05:07,543
Listen, all you got to do
1824
01:05:07,585 --> 01:05:10,546
is imagine that
you're inside the song.
1825
01:05:10,588 --> 01:05:14,383
Everything in the lyrics
is actually happening to you.
1826
01:05:14,425 --> 01:05:17,553
And you can see the notes.
1827
01:05:17,595 --> 01:05:20,514
(playing "If You Want
to Sing Out, Sing Out")
1828
01:05:22,433 --> 01:05:26,103
TIM: * Well, if you want
to sing out, sing out *
1829
01:05:26,145 --> 01:05:29,690
* And if you want
to be free, be free *
1830
01:05:29,732 --> 01:05:33,069
-Wow. Whoa! -* 'Cause there's
a million things to be *
1831
01:05:33,110 --> 01:05:35,738
-* You know that there are *
-Whoa. Marcos, wait up.
1832
01:05:35,780 --> 01:05:37,490
-Come on.
-(grunts)
1833
01:05:37,531 --> 01:05:39,742
-* And if you want to sing
high, sing high * -(whimpering)
1834
01:05:39,784 --> 01:05:41,744
-That's a little too high.
-* And if you want *
1835
01:05:41,786 --> 01:05:43,746
-* To sing low, sing low *
-Whoa.
1836
01:05:43,788 --> 01:05:45,414
I got you.
1837
01:05:45,456 --> 01:05:47,667
-* 'Cause there's a million
ways to go * -(gasps)
1838
01:05:47,708 --> 01:05:49,418
* You know that there are *
1839
01:05:49,460 --> 01:05:50,836
OMG, that's a lot.
1840
01:05:50,878 --> 01:05:51,962
(screams)
1841
01:05:52,004 --> 01:05:54,799
* Uh-huh, it's easy *
1842
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:57,301
-* Uh-huh *
-(screams, laughs)
1843
01:05:57,343 --> 01:05:59,929
* You only need to try *
1844
01:05:59,971 --> 01:06:01,722
(screams, laughs)
1845
01:06:01,764 --> 01:06:03,641
(yelling)
1846
01:06:03,683 --> 01:06:05,851
* You can sing what you want *
1847
01:06:05,893 --> 01:06:07,478
Whoo! Yeah, this is fun!
1848
01:06:07,520 --> 01:06:10,690
-* The opportunity's yours *
-(whooping)
1849
01:06:10,731 --> 01:06:13,776
* And if you do it your way *
1850
01:06:13,818 --> 01:06:15,111
Whoa.
1851
01:06:15,152 --> 01:06:17,446
* You can do it today *
1852
01:06:17,488 --> 01:06:20,324
Marcos, wait. Where are you?
1853
01:06:20,366 --> 01:06:21,951
Come on. You can do it.
1854
01:06:21,993 --> 01:06:24,829
-I can't. I can't.
-(audience cheering)
1855
01:06:24,870 --> 01:06:27,456
* *
1856
01:06:27,498 --> 01:06:28,624
(gasps softly)
1857
01:06:28,666 --> 01:06:30,459
(audience murmuring quietly)
1858
01:06:30,501 --> 01:06:32,753
(panting nervously)
1859
01:06:34,005 --> 01:06:37,299
-Now go for it.
-(audience chattering)
1860
01:06:37,341 --> 01:06:39,135
-* Ah-ah-ah *
-(chatter stops)
1861
01:06:39,176 --> 01:06:41,387
* *
1862
01:06:41,429 --> 01:06:43,931
Whoa. (chuckles)
1863
01:06:46,684 --> 01:06:47,852
Hey.
1864
01:06:47,893 --> 01:06:49,937
* It's easy *
1865
01:06:49,979 --> 01:06:51,355
* Ah-ah-ah *
1866
01:06:51,397 --> 01:06:54,984
* You only need to try *
1867
01:06:55,026 --> 01:06:56,736
TABITHA:
All right. My turn.
1868
01:06:56,777 --> 01:06:58,696
TIM:
Here we go. It's all you.
1869
01:06:58,738 --> 01:07:01,657
* Well, if I want
to sing out, sing out *
1870
01:07:01,699 --> 01:07:03,367
-* Sing out *
-Yes, let it out.
1871
01:07:03,409 --> 01:07:05,286
* And if I want
to be free, be free *
1872
01:07:05,328 --> 01:07:06,662
* Be free *
1873
01:07:06,704 --> 01:07:08,873
* 'Cause there's
a million things to be *
1874
01:07:08,914 --> 01:07:11,250
* I know that there are,
I know that there are *
1875
01:07:11,292 --> 01:07:13,711
-* I know that there are *
-* You know that there are *
1876
01:07:13,753 --> 01:07:16,672
-* I know that there are... *
-* You know that there are... *
1877
01:07:16,714 --> 01:07:20,259
-* I know that there are *
-* You know that there are *
1878
01:07:20,301 --> 01:07:24,388
* I know that there are. *
1879
01:07:28,059 --> 01:07:30,436
Wow. That was so great.
1880
01:07:30,478 --> 01:07:31,979
No, you were so great.
1881
01:07:32,021 --> 01:07:33,147
Thanks, Marcos.
1882
01:07:33,189 --> 01:07:34,565
-(camera clicks)
-What?
1883
01:07:34,607 --> 01:07:36,025
-Oh, that's a keeper.
-Oh, they can see us.
1884
01:07:36,067 --> 01:07:37,234
-They can see us.
-Aw.
1885
01:07:37,276 --> 01:07:38,527
Guys, come on.
1886
01:07:38,569 --> 01:07:40,696
Stop. No, do it. Do it.
1887
01:07:40,738 --> 01:07:42,657
(chuckling):
Oh, no.
1888
01:07:42,698 --> 01:07:44,950
Parents, right? (chuckles)
1889
01:07:44,992 --> 01:07:47,203
-Bye, Templeton family!
-CAROL: Bye-bye.
1890
01:07:47,244 --> 01:07:48,871
-Bye, Marcos.
-Lightspeed.
1891
01:07:48,913 --> 01:07:49,914
Weird kid.
1892
01:07:49,955 --> 01:07:51,624
JANICE:
Yeah, I don't like him.
1893
01:07:51,666 --> 01:07:54,001
(guitar playing softly)
1894
01:07:54,043 --> 01:07:56,629
* Catch my eye *
1895
01:07:57,421 --> 01:08:00,091
* Take my hand *
1896
01:08:00,925 --> 01:08:02,593
* This bond is tighter
than we *
1897
01:08:02,635 --> 01:08:04,303
You go get 'em, Tabitha.
1898
01:08:04,345 --> 01:08:06,472
* Ever planned *
1899
01:08:06,514 --> 01:08:09,350
* Give me courage *
1900
01:08:09,392 --> 01:08:10,977
* So I can land... *
1901
01:08:11,018 --> 01:08:12,561
TINA: Pick up, pick up,pick up, pick up,
1902
01:08:12,603 --> 01:08:14,063
pick up, pick up,
pick up, pick up, pick up,
1903
01:08:14,105 --> 01:08:16,232
pick up, pick up, pick up,
pick up. Choo-choo!
1904
01:08:16,273 --> 01:08:18,567
Don't they understand
it's the fate of the world?
1905
01:08:18,609 --> 01:08:20,653
I've been on hold forever!
1906
01:08:20,695 --> 01:08:22,738
CHILD: All operators
are currently napping.
1907
01:08:22,780 --> 01:08:25,282
I've been on hold so long
I got a tooth growing in.
1908
01:08:25,324 --> 01:08:27,743
Back in my day, we wrote memos.
1909
01:08:27,785 --> 01:08:29,370
That's cute and old-timey.
1910
01:08:29,412 --> 01:08:30,705
(scoffs)
1911
01:08:30,746 --> 01:08:32,748
TED:
I weep for the future.
1912
01:08:32,790 --> 01:08:35,251
Do you want to talk about your
feelings now while I'm on hold?
1913
01:08:35,292 --> 01:08:36,419
I can give you 20 minutes.
1914
01:08:36,460 --> 01:08:37,712
No.
1915
01:08:37,753 --> 01:08:39,338
Let's get to the nut,
the nugget.
1916
01:08:39,380 --> 01:08:40,840
What are you afraid of?
1917
01:08:40,881 --> 01:08:43,300
Sharks, getting shot
in the head with an arrow,
1918
01:08:43,342 --> 01:08:44,719
and... the IRS.
1919
01:08:44,760 --> 01:08:46,262
-That's it.
-There you go.
1920
01:08:46,304 --> 01:08:47,763
Was that so hard?
Baby steps.
1921
01:08:47,805 --> 01:08:49,765
Now, what about being lonely?
1922
01:08:49,807 --> 01:08:51,642
-I'm not lonely.
-Mm-hmm.
1923
01:08:51,684 --> 01:08:54,103
I'm just... alone.
1924
01:08:54,145 --> 01:08:55,604
There's a difference.
1925
01:08:55,646 --> 01:08:57,273
-I think it's time
you read your file. -(gasps)
1926
01:08:57,315 --> 01:08:58,899
-Ah-ah-ah-ah.
-Just give me.
1927
01:08:58,941 --> 01:09:00,318
Whoa. This is it?
1928
01:09:00,359 --> 01:09:02,820
It's so thin.
1929
01:09:02,862 --> 01:09:04,697
YOUNG TIM:
Dear Boss Baby,
1930
01:09:04,739 --> 01:09:06,324
I promise you this:
1931
01:09:06,365 --> 01:09:09,035
Every morning whenyou wake up, I will be there.
1932
01:09:09,076 --> 01:09:11,787
Every night at dinner,I will be there.
1933
01:09:11,829 --> 01:09:14,206
Every birthday party,every Christmas morning,
1934
01:09:14,248 --> 01:09:15,708
I will be there.
1935
01:09:15,750 --> 01:09:19,128
Year after year after year.
1936
01:09:19,170 --> 01:09:24,091
And you and Iwill always be brothers.
1937
01:09:24,133 --> 01:09:26,010
Always.
1938
01:09:26,052 --> 01:09:28,804
Makes me want to make
a sad face.
1939
01:09:28,846 --> 01:09:31,057
(toy train whistle blows)
1940
01:09:33,559 --> 01:09:35,811
We were just kids.
1941
01:09:35,853 --> 01:09:38,397
We didn't know anything
about the real world.
1942
01:09:38,439 --> 01:09:40,941
And eventually,
you have to grow up.
1943
01:09:40,983 --> 01:09:43,194
Just because you grow up,
it doesn't mean
1944
01:09:43,235 --> 01:09:44,737
you have to grow apart.
1945
01:09:44,779 --> 01:09:47,406
I don't know.
Maybe it's already too late.
1946
01:09:47,448 --> 01:09:49,408
TIM (grunting):
Hey.
1947
01:09:49,450 --> 01:09:50,660
Sorry I'm late.
1948
01:09:50,701 --> 01:09:52,244
TINA:
Daddy!
1949
01:09:52,286 --> 01:09:53,454
Daddy, Daddy.
1950
01:09:53,496 --> 01:09:54,705
What's going on?
1951
01:09:54,747 --> 01:09:56,207
Uncle Ted really misses you.
1952
01:09:56,248 --> 01:09:58,584
-Isn't that nice?
-(toy train whistle blows)
1953
01:10:01,379 --> 01:10:04,173
So, hey, uh, what you doing?
1954
01:10:04,215 --> 01:10:05,633
Oh, I was, uh...
1955
01:10:05,675 --> 01:10:08,886
I don't know,
I was just working on this.
1956
01:10:08,928 --> 01:10:10,721
(gasps)
1957
01:10:13,140 --> 01:10:15,935
Look, I'm sorry about
what I said at recess.
1958
01:10:15,977 --> 01:10:18,562
What happens on the playground
stays on the playground.
1959
01:10:18,604 --> 01:10:20,481
I was just worried
about Tabitha, you know?
1960
01:10:20,523 --> 01:10:21,857
She's your daughter. I get it.
1961
01:10:21,899 --> 01:10:23,567
This whole time,
I was thinking about
1962
01:10:23,609 --> 01:10:25,945
what I wanted
and not what she needed.
1963
01:10:25,987 --> 01:10:28,114
I think I finally got this
parenting thing figured out.
1964
01:10:28,155 --> 01:10:29,281
Gold star for you, Daddy.
1965
01:10:29,323 --> 01:10:30,950
-Keep it up, Pops.
-Yeah, well, about that.
1966
01:10:30,992 --> 01:10:34,078
Armstrong wants to get rid
of parents somehow.
1967
01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:36,414
-Sorry, what? -He's planning
a baby revolution.
1968
01:10:36,455 --> 01:10:37,957
Ugh, come on.
1969
01:10:37,999 --> 01:10:40,209
Just when I got good
at this whole parenting thing.
1970
01:10:40,251 --> 01:10:41,711
We got to stop him.
1971
01:10:41,752 --> 01:10:43,295
-Not we.
-You?
1972
01:10:43,337 --> 01:10:44,672
Neither one of us.
1973
01:10:44,714 --> 01:10:46,340
-BabyCorp is taking it
from here. -Ah.
1974
01:10:46,382 --> 01:10:48,509
So, what, they're gonna send in
the Baby SEALS or something?
1975
01:10:48,551 --> 01:10:50,052
-Looks like it.
-So you'll, um...
1976
01:10:50,094 --> 01:10:52,430
you'll be headed back
to your office.
1977
01:10:52,471 --> 01:10:54,724
TED: Uh, yeah.
Well, keep in touch, Tim.
1978
01:10:54,765 --> 01:10:56,559
Hello? BabyCorp?
1979
01:10:56,600 --> 01:10:58,561
Thank goodness, BabyCorp.
Well, BabyCo...
1980
01:10:58,602 --> 01:11:00,813
(stammering):
Wha-What? What are you saying,
1981
01:11:00,855 --> 01:11:02,815
there's not enough evidence,
BabyCorp? I...
1982
01:11:02,857 --> 01:11:04,650
-Uh-oh. -So you're not
gonna do anything?
1983
01:11:04,692 --> 01:11:06,068
But, BabyCorp, I...
1984
01:11:06,110 --> 01:11:07,778
Ugh. Well, then
we'll take care of it.
1985
01:11:07,820 --> 01:11:09,572
You know what, BabyCorp?
1986
01:11:09,613 --> 01:11:10,990
I quit!
1987
01:11:11,032 --> 01:11:13,117
What a bunch of
diaper sniffers. (grunts)
1988
01:11:13,159 --> 01:11:14,869
(whistle blows,
train powers down)
1989
01:11:14,910 --> 01:11:17,079
Looks like we have to stop
Armstrong ourselves.
1990
01:11:17,121 --> 01:11:19,665
We're going rogue.
I like it.
1991
01:11:19,707 --> 01:11:21,334
-So the mission's back on?
-Yeah.
1992
01:11:21,375 --> 01:11:24,128
If you two can put up with
each other a little longer.
1993
01:11:24,170 --> 01:11:27,423
I suppose I can live with that.
Tim?
1994
01:11:27,465 --> 01:11:28,424
I think that's doable.
1995
01:11:28,466 --> 01:11:29,425
Yay!
1996
01:11:29,467 --> 01:11:30,885
Forced together again.
1997
01:11:30,926 --> 01:11:33,679
WIZZIE:
It's 8:45 p.m.
1998
01:11:33,721 --> 01:11:35,765
TED:
Okay. Our clock is ticking.
1999
01:11:35,806 --> 01:11:38,893
We have to stop Armstrong
before the formula wears off.
2000
01:11:38,934 --> 01:11:42,313
Working as a team,
we will strike at the pageant.
2001
01:11:42,355 --> 01:11:43,606
Go, Tina.
2002
01:11:43,648 --> 01:11:45,941
Now, this top secret
document...
2003
01:11:45,983 --> 01:11:47,443
Sweetie, it's the program.
2004
01:11:47,485 --> 01:11:49,779
This top secret program reveals
2005
01:11:49,820 --> 01:11:52,782
that Armstrong is scheduled
to address the audience,
2006
01:11:52,823 --> 01:11:55,868
which he will do right here
at the very end.
2007
01:11:55,910 --> 01:11:58,496
We need someone backstage.
Tim, that's you.
2008
01:11:58,537 --> 01:12:01,165
How am I gonna get backstage
if I'm not in the pageant?
2009
01:12:01,207 --> 01:12:03,042
TED: My people will
take care of that.
2010
01:12:03,084 --> 01:12:03,876
(toy squeaks)
2011
01:12:03,918 --> 01:12:05,294
-Ah!
-Thank you.
2012
01:12:05,336 --> 01:12:06,462
-(chuckles)
-Thank you.
2013
01:12:06,504 --> 01:12:07,546
-No!
-Great.
2014
01:12:07,588 --> 01:12:09,632
-And... go.
-(laughing)
2015
01:12:09,674 --> 01:12:11,092
Glue.
2016
01:12:11,133 --> 01:12:12,968
(screams)
2017
01:12:13,010 --> 01:12:15,304
ROBOT VOICE:
There, there. All better.
2018
01:12:15,346 --> 01:12:16,931
Awesome.
2019
01:12:16,973 --> 01:12:20,393
Now, I'll be your eyes
and your ears in the audience.
2020
01:12:20,434 --> 01:12:22,311
I can't let Mommy see me talk,
2021
01:12:22,353 --> 01:12:24,230
or she's gonna start
squealing and hugging me,
2022
01:12:24,271 --> 01:12:25,982
but these little doodads
will let you
2023
01:12:26,023 --> 01:12:27,817
understand my baby talk.
2024
01:12:27,858 --> 01:12:29,485
It's called a GAGA device.
2025
01:12:29,527 --> 01:12:30,861
-Aw, that's cute.
-Check it out.
2026
01:12:30,903 --> 01:12:32,154
(speaks gibberish)
2027
01:12:32,196 --> 01:12:33,406
(over GAGA):
Can you hear me, Daddy?
2028
01:12:33,447 --> 01:12:34,657
Also cute.
2029
01:12:34,699 --> 01:12:36,742
Meanwhile,
with my new purple status,
2030
01:12:36,784 --> 01:12:38,786
I can stay close to Armstrong.
2031
01:12:38,828 --> 01:12:40,830
Um, that's-that's an eyebrow.
2032
01:12:40,871 --> 01:12:42,832
-Oh. Sorry.
-Uh, no, that's, uh...
2033
01:12:42,873 --> 01:12:44,583
TED:
When the moment is right,
2034
01:12:44,625 --> 01:12:46,210
I'll implant a device.
2035
01:12:46,252 --> 01:12:47,712
-Got it.
-Got what?
2036
01:12:47,753 --> 01:12:48,921
I mean, you've got this.
2037
01:12:48,963 --> 01:12:50,965
Go get 'em, tiger.
(chuckles)
2038
01:12:51,007 --> 01:12:52,925
-Oh, thank you, parents.
-(applause)
2039
01:12:52,967 --> 01:12:54,343
Thank you. There's the...
2040
01:12:54,385 --> 01:12:56,345
There's the old enthusiasm
I like to see.
2041
01:12:56,387 --> 01:12:58,723
TINA: This willallow me to control his suit.
2042
01:12:58,764 --> 01:13:02,184
I can make Muttonchopsdo whatever I want.
2043
01:13:02,226 --> 01:13:04,061
(babbling)
2044
01:13:04,103 --> 01:13:06,480
TINA:
I can make him dance.
2045
01:13:06,522 --> 01:13:08,190
I can make him prance.
2046
01:13:08,232 --> 01:13:10,026
-Hey, no, no, no, no.
-Including exposing himself
2047
01:13:10,067 --> 01:13:11,861
-to the audience.
-(audience gasps)
2048
01:13:11,902 --> 01:13:14,655
-(screams) -Every parentwill pull out their phone.
2049
01:13:14,697 --> 01:13:17,033
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me!
2050
01:13:17,074 --> 01:13:19,660
The photos will spread
like a diaper rash.
2051
01:13:19,702 --> 01:13:21,537
Cut to our pizza party.
2052
01:13:21,579 --> 01:13:23,497
Boom! Bam! Poo! Poof!
2053
01:13:23,539 --> 01:13:24,707
Questions?
2054
01:13:24,749 --> 01:13:25,916
After Tabitha sings
her solo, right?
2055
01:13:25,958 --> 01:13:27,418
After Tabitha sings.
2056
01:13:27,460 --> 01:13:31,088
Now we just sit back, relax
and enjoy the show.
2057
01:13:32,340 --> 01:13:33,883
(fanfare playing)
2058
01:13:33,924 --> 01:13:36,385
ARMSTRONG: Welcome, parents,
to our holiday pageant.
2059
01:13:36,427 --> 01:13:39,889
Remember, flash photography
in the auditorium
2060
01:13:39,930 --> 01:13:42,558
is absolutely okay.
2061
01:13:42,600 --> 01:13:45,353
Take a picture. Show your kids
that you love 'em.
2062
01:13:45,394 --> 01:13:46,896
Yippee!
2063
01:13:46,937 --> 01:13:48,272
Come on, Tim.
2064
01:13:48,314 --> 01:13:50,566
-You promised you'd be here.
-(man groans)
2065
01:13:50,608 --> 01:13:52,068
Oh, sorry. This seat is taken.
2066
01:13:52,109 --> 01:13:54,028
-Yep. Sorry.
-Oh, no. (mutters)
2067
01:13:54,070 --> 01:13:56,280
-So sorry. I... Sorry.
-(man grunts, mutters)
2068
01:13:56,322 --> 01:13:58,407
-Sorry! I am so sorry.
-(speaking gibberish)
2069
01:13:58,449 --> 01:14:00,743
(over GAGA): Uncle Teddy,
are you in position?
2070
01:14:00,785 --> 01:14:02,119
The baby's in the cradle.
2071
01:14:02,161 --> 01:14:04,789
-The baby's in the cradle.
-Mmm. (slurping)
2072
01:14:04,830 --> 01:14:06,415
(speaking gibberish)
2073
01:14:06,457 --> 01:14:08,417
(over GAGA):
Papa Bear, can you read me?
2074
01:14:08,459 --> 01:14:10,044
The flake has landed.
2075
01:14:10,086 --> 01:14:12,129
Places! Places, everybody!
2076
01:14:12,171 --> 01:14:13,506
-Here we go. Here we go.
-Oh, my gosh.
2077
01:14:13,547 --> 01:14:15,424
-It's starting. It's starting.
-(sighs) Finally.
2078
01:14:15,466 --> 01:14:17,009
It's starting. It's starting.
2079
01:14:17,051 --> 01:14:18,302
Yay!
2080
01:14:18,344 --> 01:14:20,429
-You're a big pageant guy, huh?
-No, no, no.
2081
01:14:20,471 --> 01:14:22,974
I'm not talking about the show.
I'm talking about B-Day.
2082
01:14:23,808 --> 01:14:25,184
B-Day?
2083
01:14:25,226 --> 01:14:27,561
Oh, yeah. It's already
in the parents' phones.
2084
01:14:27,603 --> 01:14:29,313
(coughs)
2085
01:14:29,355 --> 01:14:31,107
I taught babies to code.
2086
01:14:31,148 --> 01:14:33,818
TED:
Apps. They're writing apps.
2087
01:14:33,859 --> 01:14:36,028
But my next app...
2088
01:14:36,070 --> 01:14:39,615
ooh, it's gonna change
the world forever.
2089
01:14:39,657 --> 01:14:44,286
QT Snap is the app that's going
to change the world forever?
2090
01:14:44,328 --> 01:14:47,289
Forever starts today.
(chuckles)
2091
01:14:47,331 --> 01:14:49,333
Uh, cool. (gasps)
2092
01:14:49,375 --> 01:14:51,752
(audience gasping)
2093
01:14:51,794 --> 01:14:54,422
* *
2094
01:14:54,463 --> 01:14:55,965
AUDIENCE:
Aw.
2095
01:14:56,007 --> 01:14:57,508
-KIDS: * It's wintertime *
-(Tim mumbling)
2096
01:14:57,550 --> 01:14:59,135
* It's the best time of year *
2097
01:14:59,176 --> 01:15:01,053
* But due to ice caps melting *
2098
01:15:01,095 --> 01:15:03,139
* Global warming's here *
2099
01:15:03,180 --> 01:15:04,974
* It feels like summer *
2100
01:15:05,016 --> 01:15:06,976
* The snow has disappeared *
2101
01:15:07,018 --> 01:15:08,644
* It's all our parents' fault *
2102
01:15:08,686 --> 01:15:11,564
-* So we're all doomed *
-TIM: * All, uh... *
2103
01:15:11,605 --> 01:15:13,024
* Doomed. *
2104
01:15:13,065 --> 01:15:14,650
This is kind of dark.
2105
01:15:14,692 --> 01:15:15,985
Did the kids just say
we're doomed?
2106
01:15:16,027 --> 01:15:17,987
What the heck are we watching?
2107
01:15:18,029 --> 01:15:20,072
-(camera clicks)
-(yelps)
2108
01:15:20,114 --> 01:15:21,824
Their brains are
turning to mush.
2109
01:15:21,866 --> 01:15:23,367
Months of hypnotic research
embedded
2110
01:15:23,409 --> 01:15:26,203
in the most user-friendly
photo app ever made.
2111
01:15:26,245 --> 01:15:27,830
Ooh.
2112
01:15:27,872 --> 01:15:29,915
Now all we need to do
is sit back, relax
2113
01:15:29,957 --> 01:15:31,667
and enjoy the show.
2114
01:15:31,709 --> 01:15:33,044
-WOMAN: Hey!
-Right.
2115
01:15:33,085 --> 01:15:35,212
(chuckles) I'll be right back.
We're, uh...
2116
01:15:35,254 --> 01:15:36,881
-WOMAN: Hey!
-...out of Dundle Floofers.
2117
01:15:36,922 --> 01:15:38,257
-(chuckles)
-Mmm.
2118
01:15:38,299 --> 01:15:39,842
(chuckling)
2119
01:15:39,884 --> 01:15:41,344
KIDS:
Diwali!
2120
01:15:41,385 --> 01:15:43,220
(traditional Hindu music
playing)
2121
01:15:43,262 --> 01:15:44,847
Las Posadas!
2122
01:15:44,889 --> 01:15:47,183
(mariachi music playing)
2123
01:15:47,224 --> 01:15:49,352
-Agnostic!
-(music stops)
2124
01:15:50,561 --> 01:15:52,897
-And Hanukkah!
-(screams)
2125
01:15:52,938 --> 01:15:54,231
Your son is so talented.
2126
01:15:54,273 --> 01:15:56,525
-Oh, so is yours.
-Liars.
2127
01:15:56,567 --> 01:15:59,028
Tina, come in.
B-Day is happening now.
2128
01:15:59,070 --> 01:16:00,571
It's all in the phones.
2129
01:16:00,613 --> 01:16:03,574
Armstrong is using an app
to brainwash the parents.
2130
01:16:03,616 --> 01:16:05,618
-(gasps)
-(over GAGA): Gasp.
2131
01:16:05,660 --> 01:16:07,870
-TED: We have to stop the show.
-(speaking gibberish)
2132
01:16:07,912 --> 01:16:09,455
(over GAGA):
Okay, okay. Uh, there's a...
2133
01:16:09,497 --> 01:16:11,999
there's a big old
no-touchy switch backstage.
2134
01:16:12,041 --> 01:16:13,376
(speaking gibberish)
2135
01:16:13,417 --> 01:16:15,044
(over GAGA): Daddy,
we have to pull the plug.
2136
01:16:15,086 --> 01:16:17,296
Daddy, come in.
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
2137
01:16:17,338 --> 01:16:18,714
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy,
Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
2138
01:16:18,756 --> 01:16:20,675
Ugh. He's not responding.
2139
01:16:20,716 --> 01:16:22,009
(panting):
Of course not.
2140
01:16:22,051 --> 01:16:24,178
-I'll do it myself.
-Stop!
2141
01:16:24,220 --> 01:16:27,056
-(grunts)
-Theater kids only.
2142
01:16:27,098 --> 01:16:29,392
Oh, come on, nativity!
2143
01:16:29,433 --> 01:16:30,768
Look holier!
2144
01:16:30,810 --> 01:16:32,228
(angelic choir vocalizing)
2145
01:16:32,269 --> 01:16:33,813
(gasps)
2146
01:16:33,854 --> 01:16:36,232
TIM:
Hey, Tabitha.
2147
01:16:36,273 --> 01:16:38,150
(chuckling):
Don't you worry, okay?
2148
01:16:38,192 --> 01:16:40,069
You're gonna be great.
2149
01:16:40,111 --> 01:16:42,363
Thanks, Marcos.
And thanks for all your help.
2150
01:16:42,405 --> 01:16:43,489
Anytime.
2151
01:16:43,531 --> 01:16:45,574
I feel like you really
understand me.
2152
01:16:45,616 --> 01:16:47,243
I'm so excited.
2153
01:16:47,284 --> 01:16:51,038
I can't wait to see the look
on my dad's face when I sing.
2154
01:16:51,998 --> 01:16:53,916
MEGHAN:
Hey! You're on, Templeton!
2155
01:16:53,958 --> 01:16:55,251
Wish me luck.
2156
01:16:55,292 --> 01:16:56,669
MEGHAN:
And break a leg.
2157
01:16:56,711 --> 01:16:58,212
Or two, for that matter.
(laughs)
2158
01:16:58,254 --> 01:17:01,841
KIDS:
* We're in this together *
2159
01:17:01,882 --> 01:17:04,427
* We live in harmony... *
2160
01:17:04,468 --> 01:17:05,678
TED:
Psst.
2161
01:17:06,637 --> 01:17:07,763
Tim!
2162
01:17:07,805 --> 01:17:09,015
Is that the baby Jesus?
2163
01:17:09,056 --> 01:17:10,308
(gasps)
2164
01:17:10,349 --> 01:17:11,559
(screams)
2165
01:17:11,600 --> 01:17:13,269
(laughing)
2166
01:17:13,311 --> 01:17:14,520
* *
2167
01:17:14,562 --> 01:17:18,107
* We have to shut down
the pageant. *
2168
01:17:18,149 --> 01:17:20,026
-Yeah!
-What? No. Why?
2169
01:17:20,067 --> 01:17:22,445
Armstrong's turning
the parents into zombies
2170
01:17:22,486 --> 01:17:24,155
so they'll do
whatever he wants.
2171
01:17:24,196 --> 01:17:26,282
What? What are you doing? No!
2172
01:17:26,324 --> 01:17:27,700
-(grunts)
-(chair crashes)
2173
01:17:27,742 --> 01:17:29,076
Tabitha's on next.
2174
01:17:29,118 --> 01:17:31,078
TED: You'd risk
the future of the world
2175
01:17:31,120 --> 01:17:33,122
-to see your daughter sing?
-Yes!
2176
01:17:33,164 --> 01:17:35,207
-I have to be there for her.
-Look who's worried about
2177
01:17:35,249 --> 01:17:36,834
showing up for things
all of a sudden.
2178
01:17:36,876 --> 01:17:38,461
What's that supposed to mean?
2179
01:17:38,502 --> 01:17:40,129
You didn't even come
to my graduation.
2180
01:17:40,171 --> 01:17:41,589
Ow! Which one?
2181
01:17:41,630 --> 01:17:44,050
Business school, law school.
None of them.
2182
01:17:44,091 --> 01:17:45,801
You didn't even come
to my wedding.
2183
01:17:45,843 --> 01:17:47,553
-Which one?
-I only had one!
2184
01:17:47,595 --> 01:17:49,221
We had a deal, Tim.
2185
01:17:49,263 --> 01:17:51,140
You promised
you'd be there always.
2186
01:17:51,182 --> 01:17:52,725
Whoa. Where did you...
2187
01:17:52,767 --> 01:17:55,353
-Breach of contract!
-(grunts)
2188
01:17:56,187 --> 01:17:57,980
(ninja babies whooping)
2189
01:17:58,022 --> 01:17:59,148
Whoa.
2190
01:17:59,190 --> 01:18:00,483
-Whoa!
-Whoa!
2191
01:18:00,524 --> 01:18:02,902
ARMSTRONG:
How do you do there, fellas?
2192
01:18:02,943 --> 01:18:05,863
(chuckles)
Nothing's gonna ruin my B-Day.
2193
01:18:05,905 --> 01:18:08,449
Not even you.
2194
01:18:08,491 --> 01:18:10,326
-Oh, busted.
-Yeah, it was obvious
2195
01:18:10,368 --> 01:18:11,952
from the very, very beginning
2196
01:18:11,994 --> 01:18:14,622
that you two were
working together.
2197
01:18:14,664 --> 01:18:16,040
What gave us away?
2198
01:18:16,082 --> 01:18:18,334
Well, I'd say the bickering,
2199
01:18:18,376 --> 01:18:20,169
the, uh, petty disputes,
2200
01:18:20,211 --> 01:18:21,837
the jealousy.
2201
01:18:21,879 --> 01:18:25,007
You know, you two are brothers
in every single way.
2202
01:18:25,049 --> 01:18:26,717
(hums a tune)
2203
01:18:26,759 --> 01:18:29,011
-Off to the Box they go.
-(ninja babies yelling)
2204
01:18:29,053 --> 01:18:31,055
What? No.
Not the Box. Not now.
2205
01:18:31,097 --> 01:18:32,682
Please.
2206
01:18:32,723 --> 01:18:34,684
Aw, it's just... it's too bad
that you're never gonna
2207
01:18:34,725 --> 01:18:36,852
have a chance to reboot
your relationship and...
2208
01:18:36,894 --> 01:18:38,813
-No!
-...and restore the closeness
2209
01:18:38,854 --> 01:18:40,189
that you once felt.
2210
01:18:40,231 --> 01:18:41,857
-Sorry about that.
-No.
2211
01:18:41,899 --> 01:18:44,110
-No, no, no, no. No!
-Adios, Marcos.
2212
01:18:44,151 --> 01:18:47,196
* Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh... *
2213
01:18:47,238 --> 01:18:49,073
CAROL:
Oh, look, look. There she is.
2214
01:18:49,115 --> 01:18:50,241
There's our little angel.
2215
01:18:50,282 --> 01:18:52,159
-Oh! Tabby's in the tree.
-Ah! Oh!
2216
01:18:53,661 --> 01:18:55,871
* Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh *
2217
01:18:55,913 --> 01:18:57,665
* Ooh-ooh-ooh... *
2218
01:18:57,707 --> 01:19:01,002
(ninja babies
speaking gibberish, laughing)
2219
01:19:01,043 --> 01:19:02,712
(yells)
2220
01:19:02,753 --> 01:19:05,089
You had one job to do.
2221
01:19:05,131 --> 01:19:07,091
One job.
2222
01:19:07,133 --> 01:19:09,093
-Oh, no.
-The fountain.
2223
01:19:09,135 --> 01:19:10,761
It's flooding the room.
2224
01:19:10,803 --> 01:19:12,138
This isn't a time-out.
2225
01:19:12,179 --> 01:19:13,556
It's game over.
2226
01:19:13,597 --> 01:19:15,641
* Ooh-ooh *
2227
01:19:15,683 --> 01:19:17,977
* Ooh-ooh-ooh *
2228
01:19:18,019 --> 01:19:20,771
(panting)
2229
01:19:23,357 --> 01:19:24,734
MEGHAN:
Psst.
2230
01:19:24,775 --> 01:19:28,362
It's one, two, three
and one, two, three.
2231
01:19:28,404 --> 01:19:30,614
-(gasps, pants)
-(piano playing)
2232
01:19:39,749 --> 01:19:42,251
* Catch my eye *
2233
01:19:42,293 --> 01:19:45,421
* Take my hand *
2234
01:19:45,463 --> 01:19:50,760
* This bond is tighter
than we ever planned *
2235
01:19:50,801 --> 01:19:53,137
* Give me courage *
2236
01:19:53,179 --> 01:19:55,598
* So I can land *
2237
01:19:55,640 --> 01:19:59,143
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2238
01:19:59,185 --> 01:20:03,230
* So together we stand *
2239
01:20:04,190 --> 01:20:07,151
* Laugh and cry with me *
2240
01:20:07,193 --> 01:20:09,820
* Fly that high with me *
2241
01:20:09,862 --> 01:20:11,989
-* See the sunset
and the sunrise * -(gasping)
2242
01:20:12,031 --> 01:20:14,659
-* The world looks so good
through our eyes * -Wow.
2243
01:20:14,700 --> 01:20:19,664
* Like the moon
and stars at night *
2244
01:20:21,290 --> 01:20:23,334
You're right. I blew it.
2245
01:20:23,376 --> 01:20:25,461
I ruined the mission.
(sighs)
2246
01:20:25,503 --> 01:20:27,380
And I'm a terrible father.
2247
01:20:27,421 --> 01:20:30,383
Hey, you did sort of
ruin the mission.
2248
01:20:30,424 --> 01:20:32,009
But you're a great dad.
2249
01:20:32,051 --> 01:20:33,469
No, I'm not.
2250
01:20:33,511 --> 01:20:35,096
I could never do your job.
2251
01:20:35,137 --> 01:20:36,681
I mean, you work
around the clock,
2252
01:20:36,722 --> 01:20:38,391
you can't even quit
if you wanted to,
2253
01:20:38,432 --> 01:20:40,017
and you don't even get paid.
2254
01:20:40,059 --> 01:20:42,395
Frankly, I don't see
how that's legal.
2255
01:20:42,436 --> 01:20:44,563
I was always jealous of you.
2256
01:20:44,605 --> 01:20:47,024
I wanted to be successful,
too, you know.
2257
01:20:47,066 --> 01:20:48,359
Sure, Tim.
2258
01:20:48,401 --> 01:20:50,736
I made a lot of money...
2259
01:20:50,778 --> 01:20:52,863
but you made a family.
2260
01:20:53,948 --> 01:20:55,992
The truth is...
2261
01:20:56,033 --> 01:20:57,952
it's lonely at the top.
2262
01:21:01,288 --> 01:21:04,000
* Reach with me *
2263
01:21:04,041 --> 01:21:07,336
* See the sky *
2264
01:21:07,378 --> 01:21:12,091
* I'll always be here
for the rest of your life *
2265
01:21:12,133 --> 01:21:15,094
* Sail that ocean *
2266
01:21:15,136 --> 01:21:17,513
* Find that sand *
2267
01:21:17,555 --> 01:21:21,100
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2268
01:21:21,142 --> 01:21:25,146
* So together we stand *
2269
01:21:25,187 --> 01:21:27,398
(kids vocalizing)
2270
01:21:30,568 --> 01:21:34,488
You know, I'm... I'm sorry we
don't see each other anymore.
2271
01:21:34,530 --> 01:21:36,532
A very wise person
once told me,
2272
01:21:36,574 --> 01:21:38,367
just because you grow up
2273
01:21:38,409 --> 01:21:40,369
doesn't mean
you have to grow apart.
2274
01:21:40,411 --> 01:21:41,912
-Was it Tina?
-Oh, yeah.
2275
01:21:41,954 --> 01:21:44,874
(laughing): Oh, it is crazy
how smart she is.
2276
01:21:44,915 --> 01:21:47,126
It's like she looks
right into your soul.
2277
01:21:47,168 --> 01:21:50,046
I'm sorry that I missed
your graduations.
2278
01:21:50,087 --> 01:21:52,757
I'm sorry I missed
your one wedding.
2279
01:21:52,798 --> 01:21:56,052
BOTH: I'm sorry
I wasn't there for you.
2280
01:21:56,093 --> 01:21:58,971
* Side by side *
2281
01:21:59,013 --> 01:22:01,641
* Hand in hand *
2282
01:22:01,682 --> 01:22:06,520
* We speak a language
no one else can understand *
2283
01:22:06,562 --> 01:22:09,482
-* Hear those cheers *
-(cameras clicking)
2284
01:22:09,523 --> 01:22:11,776
* Strike up the band *
2285
01:22:11,817 --> 01:22:16,280
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2286
01:22:16,322 --> 01:22:23,496
* So together we stand. *
2287
01:22:26,165 --> 01:22:27,333
(chuckles)
2288
01:22:27,375 --> 01:22:29,418
(panting)
2289
01:22:33,047 --> 01:22:35,049
(pants, whimpers)
2290
01:22:35,091 --> 01:22:37,468
(one person clapping)
2291
01:22:39,178 --> 01:22:41,806
(hyperventilating)
2292
01:22:41,847 --> 01:22:44,100
(crying)
2293
01:22:44,141 --> 01:22:46,143
Oh, Tabitha.
2294
01:22:46,185 --> 01:22:47,603
(gasps) Gramps?
2295
01:22:47,645 --> 01:22:49,313
Nana? Mom?
2296
01:22:49,355 --> 01:22:50,481
Oh, no!
2297
01:22:50,523 --> 01:22:52,400
-(grunts)
-Oh, my gosh, Tabitha.
2298
01:22:52,441 --> 01:22:54,276
You did such a great job.
2299
01:22:54,318 --> 01:22:57,530
Well, that's just
horribly rude of you all.
2300
01:22:57,571 --> 01:22:58,864
Come on, everybody.
2301
01:22:58,906 --> 01:23:02,743
Uh, how about
a standing ovation?
2302
01:23:02,785 --> 01:23:05,705
-(laughs) Very good.
-(Tina gasps)
2303
01:23:05,746 --> 01:23:07,331
They're zombies!
2304
01:23:07,373 --> 01:23:09,041
We did it!
2305
01:23:09,083 --> 01:23:12,962
-The baby revolution has begun.
-(babies cheering, laughing)
2306
01:23:13,004 --> 01:23:15,297
No more need for costumes.
2307
01:23:15,339 --> 01:23:17,216
(yells, laughs)
2308
01:23:17,258 --> 01:23:19,427
Who wants cake?
2309
01:23:20,344 --> 01:23:21,804
Oh, my gosh.
2310
01:23:21,846 --> 01:23:24,390
ARMSTRONG:
Happy B-Day, everybody.
2311
01:23:24,432 --> 01:23:26,434
Daddy, Uncle Ted.
2312
01:23:26,475 --> 01:23:28,019
Come in. Where are you?
2313
01:23:28,060 --> 01:23:30,354
(crying)
2314
01:23:31,981 --> 01:23:33,983
* *
2315
01:23:34,025 --> 01:23:36,319
(door opens, closes)
2316
01:23:36,360 --> 01:23:38,362
(sniffles)
2317
01:23:38,404 --> 01:23:40,364
TINA:
Here you go, sis.
2318
01:23:40,406 --> 01:23:42,908
Now, I already used this,
so I know it's safe.
2319
01:23:42,950 --> 01:23:44,702
Thanks.
2320
01:23:46,078 --> 01:23:48,622
Wait. Are you t-talking?
2321
01:23:48,664 --> 01:23:50,624
(chuckling): I know.
It's pretty weird, isn't it?
2322
01:23:50,666 --> 01:23:52,877
(screams)
Oh, my gosh, you're talking!
2323
01:23:52,918 --> 01:23:54,337
It's an emergency.
2324
01:23:54,378 --> 01:23:56,672
I'm on a supersecret mission
from BabyCorp.
2325
01:23:56,714 --> 01:23:57,673
(gasps)
2326
01:23:57,715 --> 01:24:00,092
You mean Dad's stories
are true?
2327
01:24:00,134 --> 01:24:02,011
That's what the suit says.
2328
01:24:02,053 --> 01:24:03,220
How do I look?
2329
01:24:03,262 --> 01:24:04,639
No way!
2330
01:24:04,680 --> 01:24:06,682
Now, I can't get ahold
of Dad or Uncle Ted,
2331
01:24:06,724 --> 01:24:08,601
so I need your help, big sis.
2332
01:24:08,643 --> 01:24:10,227
Wait, wait.
Dad's here?
2333
01:24:10,269 --> 01:24:11,729
They've been here
the whole time.
2334
01:24:11,771 --> 01:24:13,689
-Where? -I don't have
much time to explain,
2335
01:24:13,731 --> 01:24:16,067
but Dr. Armstrong is a baby.
2336
01:24:16,108 --> 01:24:18,027
A very bad, bad baby.
2337
01:24:18,069 --> 01:24:21,906
Soon, the world is
gonna be our playground.
2338
01:24:21,947 --> 01:24:24,367
-Whee! (grunts) -("Push It"
by Salt-N-Pepa playing)
2339
01:24:24,408 --> 01:24:25,743
(laughs)
2340
01:24:25,785 --> 01:24:28,120
Now we can make parents
do whatever we want.
2341
01:24:28,162 --> 01:24:30,247
Awesome! Yeah!
2342
01:24:30,289 --> 01:24:33,209
No more rules.
2343
01:24:33,250 --> 01:24:35,920
Sayonara, Mama and Papa.
2344
01:24:35,961 --> 01:24:37,254
Yeah.
2345
01:24:37,296 --> 01:24:38,381
(babies laughing)
2346
01:24:38,422 --> 01:24:39,715
-Mom?
-Dad?
2347
01:24:39,757 --> 01:24:40,716
Grandpa?
2348
01:24:40,758 --> 01:24:42,426
Whoa. Are you kidding me?
2349
01:24:42,468 --> 01:24:44,553
We need to shut it down
before it goes global.
2350
01:24:44,595 --> 01:24:46,722
-ARMSTRONG: Yeah. (laughs)
-What are we gonna do?
2351
01:24:46,764 --> 01:24:48,975
Okay, we need to find
the big whatchamacallit
2352
01:24:49,016 --> 01:24:50,601
that controls
the parents' phones.
2353
01:24:50,643 --> 01:24:52,144
-The server.
-Yes. Yes.
2354
01:24:52,186 --> 01:24:54,313
Is there a big one
of those whatsits at school?
2355
01:24:54,355 --> 01:24:55,898
Uh, let's see.
2356
01:24:55,940 --> 01:24:59,068
Well, servers get really hot,
so you need air ducts.
2357
01:24:59,110 --> 01:25:00,403
TINA:
Now you're thinking!
2358
01:25:00,444 --> 01:25:02,613
TABITHA:
Which intersect at the acorn!
2359
01:25:02,655 --> 01:25:04,949
-A-plus!
-Come on.
2360
01:25:04,991 --> 01:25:06,409
-This way.
-(gasps)
2361
01:25:06,450 --> 01:25:08,661
Opportunity knocks.
2362
01:25:08,703 --> 01:25:11,247
First, we need to make
a quick pit stop.
2363
01:25:11,288 --> 01:25:14,583
AUTOMATED VOICE (distorted):
Your time has concluded.
2364
01:25:14,625 --> 01:25:16,752
-(both panting)
-It looks like this is it, Tim.
2365
01:25:16,794 --> 01:25:19,088
Well, hey, at least we have
2366
01:25:19,130 --> 01:25:22,758
these last final
precious moments together.
2367
01:25:23,968 --> 01:25:26,178
Precious. Precious!
2368
01:25:26,220 --> 01:25:28,639
(whistling)
2369
01:25:29,432 --> 01:25:31,183
-* *
-(whinnies)
2370
01:25:32,393 --> 01:25:35,438
-Oh, right. Precious. Precious!
-(continues whistling)
2371
01:25:35,479 --> 01:25:37,606
* *
2372
01:25:38,858 --> 01:25:40,985
-(Ted continues whistling)
-(Tim sputtering)
2373
01:25:44,322 --> 01:25:46,741
(whistling and sputtering
continue)
2374
01:25:48,242 --> 01:25:50,494
(banging on glass)
2375
01:25:56,042 --> 01:25:57,460
(both gasping)
2376
01:25:57,501 --> 01:25:59,086
(grunts)
2377
01:26:00,046 --> 01:26:01,213
(coughing)
2378
01:26:01,255 --> 01:26:02,214
(whinnies)
2379
01:26:02,256 --> 01:26:04,300
That's my girl.
2380
01:26:04,342 --> 01:26:05,468
Thank you.
2381
01:26:05,509 --> 01:26:07,470
(sputters, spits)
2382
01:26:07,511 --> 01:26:08,721
(gasps) Tina?
2383
01:26:08,763 --> 01:26:10,139
Tina, Tina, come in.
It's Daddy.
2384
01:26:10,181 --> 01:26:12,516
Daddy! Listen, we have
to shut down the server.
2385
01:26:12,558 --> 01:26:14,310
-It's in the acorn.
-Whoa.
2386
01:26:14,352 --> 01:26:15,978
This is so weird.
2387
01:26:16,020 --> 01:26:17,271
I call shotgun.
2388
01:26:17,313 --> 01:26:18,356
Quick, to the acorn!
2389
01:26:18,397 --> 01:26:19,940
-TED: Hyah!
-(neighing)
2390
01:26:21,108 --> 01:26:22,652
BOTH:
Yeehaw!
2391
01:26:22,693 --> 01:26:24,487
Hold on to your chaps, pal.
2392
01:26:24,528 --> 01:26:25,571
-(ninja baby shouts)
-Whoa!
2393
01:26:25,613 --> 01:26:27,865
(all whooping)
2394
01:26:31,202 --> 01:26:33,204
-(screams)
-Oh, no!
2395
01:26:34,205 --> 01:26:36,332
Glue! (laughs)
2396
01:26:36,374 --> 01:26:38,834
Yah! Pixie dust! Aha.
2397
01:26:38,876 --> 01:26:40,252
-Yeah, baby. -Yes.
-(whinnies)
2398
01:26:40,294 --> 01:26:42,588
(babbling)
2399
01:26:42,630 --> 01:26:44,215
(eerie chuckling)
2400
01:26:44,256 --> 01:26:46,133
(shouts)
2401
01:26:46,175 --> 01:26:48,094
(eerie chuckling)
2402
01:26:48,135 --> 01:26:49,512
Wha...?
2403
01:26:49,553 --> 01:26:51,722
CREEPY GIRL:
Where'd I go?
2404
01:26:52,556 --> 01:26:54,850
-Whoa!
-I like your pajamas.
2405
01:26:54,892 --> 01:26:55,726
(screams)
2406
01:26:55,768 --> 01:26:59,021
(ninja babies crying)
2407
01:26:59,063 --> 01:27:00,731
Where are you going?
2408
01:27:00,773 --> 01:27:02,191
-Hyah!
-(whooping)
2409
01:27:02,233 --> 01:27:04,068
-Glue.
-TED: I'm proud to be a yellow.
2410
01:27:04,110 --> 01:27:05,361
I like your pony.
2411
01:27:05,403 --> 01:27:06,404
(both scream)
2412
01:27:06,445 --> 01:27:07,697
Thank you.
2413
01:27:07,738 --> 01:27:09,699
-(crying)
-ARMSTRONG (over radio): What?
2414
01:27:09,740 --> 01:27:12,618
Ah, ah, ah. No, no, no.
2415
01:27:14,328 --> 01:27:16,414
(whirring)
2416
01:27:16,455 --> 01:27:19,667
Now let's crack that big nut.
(grunts)
2417
01:27:20,543 --> 01:27:22,837
Oh, no.
It's about to go worldwide.
2418
01:27:22,878 --> 01:27:25,089
How are we gonna get up there?
2419
01:27:26,090 --> 01:27:27,800
-Really?
-ARMSTRONG: Well, you got grit.
2420
01:27:27,842 --> 01:27:29,427
I'll give you that.
2421
01:27:29,468 --> 01:27:31,470
Gumption, even. Very admirable.
2422
01:27:31,512 --> 01:27:33,639
And yet, uh, annoying.
2423
01:27:33,681 --> 01:27:35,891
Quite annoying. Yeah.
2424
01:27:35,933 --> 01:27:38,477
I'm gonna have to,
you know, uh, stop you.
2425
01:27:38,519 --> 01:27:39,729
Glue me, glue me, glue me.
2426
01:27:39,770 --> 01:27:41,272
Precious, sic him.
2427
01:27:41,314 --> 01:27:42,606
You're too little and too late.
2428
01:27:42,648 --> 01:27:44,734
-(clang)
-Ah, ba-bad dog.
2429
01:27:44,775 --> 01:27:48,070
-Pets aren't allowed in school.
-Aah! Precious!
2430
01:27:49,572 --> 01:27:51,240
And you, my pudgy protégé.
2431
01:27:51,282 --> 01:27:52,575
Go, go, go, go! Move! Move!
2432
01:27:52,616 --> 01:27:54,577
-I offered you the world.
-(both yell)
2433
01:27:54,618 --> 01:27:56,037
-We could have been partners.
-(groaning)
2434
01:27:56,078 --> 01:27:57,913
I've got something better
than a partner.
2435
01:27:57,955 --> 01:27:59,999
-I have a brother.
-Yeah!
2436
01:28:00,041 --> 01:28:02,209
-(grunts) Let go.
-No, you let go.
2437
01:28:02,251 --> 01:28:04,420
Wow. Point taken.
2438
01:28:04,462 --> 01:28:06,130
What? What's going on?
2439
01:28:07,298 --> 01:28:09,508
(yelling)
2440
01:28:09,550 --> 01:28:10,760
Hey, that's my leisure suit.
2441
01:28:10,801 --> 01:28:12,178
It looks better on her.
2442
01:28:12,219 --> 01:28:13,679
Hands up, diapers down.
2443
01:28:13,721 --> 01:28:15,097
Things are about to get weird.
2444
01:28:15,139 --> 01:28:16,807
-Yeah, that's my girls!
-(Ted laughs)
2445
01:28:16,849 --> 01:28:18,768
-That's really Dad?
-Yep.
2446
01:28:18,809 --> 01:28:20,978
I said a lot of stuff
to that kid.
2447
01:28:21,020 --> 01:28:22,772
Well, quite the family reunion.
2448
01:28:22,813 --> 01:28:24,231
Uh, the more the merrier.
2449
01:28:24,273 --> 01:28:26,400
-I say let's call your parents.
-TIM: Oh, no.
2450
01:28:26,442 --> 01:28:27,777
(zombielike murmuring)
2451
01:28:27,818 --> 01:28:29,612
-Uh-oh.
-Okay.
2452
01:28:29,654 --> 01:28:31,947
Mommy and Daddy,
let's hug 'em-- to death.
2453
01:28:31,989 --> 01:28:33,866
Oh, don't worry about us.
Get to the server.
2454
01:28:33,908 --> 01:28:35,785
-Go, Tina, go!
-(whoops)
2455
01:28:35,826 --> 01:28:38,829
-(Armstrong stammering)
-(Tina grunts, yells)
2456
01:28:38,871 --> 01:28:40,665
-Hey!
-You got this, Tina.
2457
01:28:40,706 --> 01:28:42,041
Get down from there.
2458
01:28:42,083 --> 01:28:43,793
TED:
Go for his lollies!
2459
01:28:43,834 --> 01:28:46,128
Never touch another man's pony.
2460
01:28:46,170 --> 01:28:47,213
(all grunt)
2461
01:28:47,254 --> 01:28:49,590
Here. Stick around.
Stick around.
2462
01:28:49,632 --> 01:28:52,009
Uh, Tim, what do we do now?!
2463
01:28:52,051 --> 01:28:53,970
Don't move.
Maybe they won't see us.
2464
01:28:54,011 --> 01:28:55,638
TED:
They see us, Tim. They see us.
2465
01:28:55,680 --> 01:28:57,014
TIM:
Did you move? I didn't move.
2466
01:28:57,056 --> 01:28:58,474
-TED: Really, Tim?
-(grunting)
2467
01:28:58,516 --> 01:29:00,309
Oh. Hey, that's a little
too high now.
2468
01:29:00,351 --> 01:29:03,145
Don't look down.
Look straight ahead, okay?
2469
01:29:03,187 --> 01:29:05,022
(grunts, whimpers)
2470
01:29:05,064 --> 01:29:06,691
-(buzzer sounds)
-It's locked.
2471
01:29:06,732 --> 01:29:08,484
Can I give you a hand?
2472
01:29:08,526 --> 01:29:09,777
Of course,
I mean that facetiously,
2473
01:29:09,819 --> 01:29:12,488
because the hand acts as a...
as a key.
2474
01:29:12,530 --> 01:29:13,823
No, no. No, no, no.
2475
01:29:13,864 --> 01:29:15,533
-Hey, hey. No, no, no, no.
-Thanks, sis.
2476
01:29:15,574 --> 01:29:17,827
(grunts)
Stay away from my server.
2477
01:29:17,868 --> 01:29:19,328
-(yells)
-(grunts)
2478
01:29:19,370 --> 01:29:20,830
-Shut it down, Tabitha.
-What are you doing?
2479
01:29:20,871 --> 01:29:22,748
What are you doing?
No, no, no! No!
2480
01:29:22,790 --> 01:29:24,500
Don't do that.
2481
01:29:24,542 --> 01:29:25,876
-Oh, no!
-(zombielike grunting)
2482
01:29:25,918 --> 01:29:27,503
-Hugs.
-Hug Grandpa.
2483
01:29:27,545 --> 01:29:29,088
It's Night ofthe Living Boomers.
2484
01:29:29,130 --> 01:29:32,174
-Dad, stop! (screams)
-ADULTS: Hugs.
2485
01:29:32,216 --> 01:29:33,259
(yells)
2486
01:29:33,300 --> 01:29:34,677
(grunts, gasps)
2487
01:29:34,719 --> 01:29:36,846
(groans) Back.
Back, you little monsters.
2488
01:29:36,887 --> 01:29:39,265
-You back off, candy pants.
-(yells, grunts)
2489
01:29:39,307 --> 01:29:40,433
(screams)
2490
01:29:40,474 --> 01:29:42,518
Ha! Got your nose.
2491
01:29:42,560 --> 01:29:43,894
(grunting)
2492
01:29:43,936 --> 01:29:46,355
Oh, right in the breadbasket!
2493
01:29:46,397 --> 01:29:48,524
(both grunting rapidly)
2494
01:29:48,566 --> 01:29:51,235
(both babbling)
2495
01:29:53,821 --> 01:29:55,072
-Ow!
-Ha!
2496
01:29:55,114 --> 01:29:56,532
-Knocked his block off.
-Ah, poopy.
2497
01:29:56,574 --> 01:29:58,367
Tina, I think I got it. Yes!
2498
01:29:58,409 --> 01:30:00,536
Don't hit that button.
Don't hit that button. Aah!
2499
01:30:00,578 --> 01:30:02,371
Ow! Ooh!
2500
01:30:02,413 --> 01:30:05,082
-And... enter.
-ARMSTRONG: No, no! Stop it!
2501
01:30:05,124 --> 01:30:07,126
-(screams)
-Cut it out. (mutters)
2502
01:30:07,168 --> 01:30:09,920
-Look what you made me do.
-(gasps) The fire alarm.
2503
01:30:09,962 --> 01:30:11,714
-ARMSTRONG: Darn it.
-TABITHA: Dad!
2504
01:30:11,756 --> 01:30:14,091
Uncle Ted!
Pull the fire alarm!
2505
01:30:14,133 --> 01:30:15,718
-The girls need help.
-TED: No kissies!
2506
01:30:15,760 --> 01:30:18,012
The girls need us. (grunts)
2507
01:30:18,054 --> 01:30:20,848
-(alarm ringing)
-(grunts) Time's up, halflings.
2508
01:30:20,890 --> 01:30:23,893
(sputters)
Great galloping gargoyles!
2509
01:30:23,934 --> 01:30:27,396
-(Ted screaming)
-WIZZIE: What? What?
2510
01:30:27,438 --> 01:30:29,649
Tim! Get to the fire alarm!
2511
01:30:29,690 --> 01:30:31,108
I'll hold them back.
2512
01:30:31,150 --> 01:30:33,402
TED:
Make it rain, baby.
2513
01:30:33,444 --> 01:30:34,737
TIM:
I'm on it.
2514
01:30:34,779 --> 01:30:36,197
What's the matter?
2515
01:30:36,238 --> 01:30:37,782
(voice cracks): You can't
handle the awkward phase?
2516
01:30:37,823 --> 01:30:38,908
(whimpering)
2517
01:30:38,949 --> 01:30:41,285
Go, Marcos... uh, Dad. Go!
2518
01:30:41,327 --> 01:30:42,787
-(gasps)
-I'm back!
2519
01:30:42,828 --> 01:30:44,288
-Here we go.
-Come on.
2520
01:30:44,330 --> 01:30:46,415
How about another round,
you tough guy? Come on!
2521
01:30:46,457 --> 01:30:47,833
Ow. Stop it.
2522
01:30:47,875 --> 01:30:49,251
I still got these.
(grunting)
2523
01:30:49,293 --> 01:30:50,920
TABITHA:
You put my sister down.
2524
01:30:50,961 --> 01:30:54,131
B-Day will happen,
whether you like it or not.
2525
01:30:54,173 --> 01:30:56,425
-You shall not pass!
-(zombielike murmuring)
2526
01:30:56,467 --> 01:30:58,344
Uh, you shall not pass.
2527
01:30:58,386 --> 01:31:00,054
No! Stop passing.
2528
01:31:00,096 --> 01:31:01,764
-(grunts)
-(fire alarm ringing)
2529
01:31:01,806 --> 01:31:03,015
Yeah, Dad!
2530
01:31:03,057 --> 01:31:04,475
Way to go! (whoops)
2531
01:31:04,517 --> 01:31:06,602
-(alarm stops)
-(Tabitha gasps)
2532
01:31:06,644 --> 01:31:08,187
TABITHA:
That's it?
2533
01:31:08,229 --> 01:31:10,481
That's right. Why? What?
The school's expensive.
2534
01:31:10,523 --> 01:31:13,609
-I had to cut costs someplace.
-(both grunt)
2535
01:31:13,651 --> 01:31:14,777
Oh, no. It's not working.
2536
01:31:14,819 --> 01:31:15,945
Did you pull it right?
2537
01:31:15,987 --> 01:31:17,279
How else you gonna pull it?
2538
01:31:17,321 --> 01:31:19,323
ARMSTRONG (laughs):
You'll see I'm right.
2539
01:31:19,365 --> 01:31:20,950
I'll show everybody.
2540
01:31:20,992 --> 01:31:24,120
The age of parents is over.
2541
01:31:24,161 --> 01:31:26,580
(babies cooing, murmuring)
2542
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:31,460
ARMSTRONG:
Yay, yay, yay. (sighs)
2543
01:31:31,502 --> 01:31:34,130
How about you watch me
have a little toast?
2544
01:31:34,171 --> 01:31:37,425
To the baby revolution
and to me.
2545
01:31:37,466 --> 01:31:38,884
(gasps)
2546
01:31:41,012 --> 01:31:42,930
-It's time for the
candy volcano... -Mmm, mmm.
2547
01:31:42,972 --> 01:31:44,807
-Oh, that's good.
-TABITHA and TINA: Of doom!
2548
01:31:44,849 --> 01:31:46,809
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
2549
01:31:46,851 --> 01:31:48,311
No, no, no! No!
2550
01:31:48,352 --> 01:31:50,813
(yells)
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
2551
01:31:50,855 --> 01:31:52,481
-No, no, no.
-Boom shakalaka?
2552
01:31:52,523 --> 01:31:54,150
-Boom!
-Don't do that!
2553
01:31:54,191 --> 01:31:56,444
-(crackling, sizzling)
-(screaming)
2554
01:31:56,485 --> 01:31:58,738
(both grunt)
2555
01:31:58,779 --> 01:32:01,032
-Whoa!
-(screaming)
2556
01:32:01,073 --> 01:32:02,658
-(grunts)
-TINA: Oh, no!
2557
01:32:02,700 --> 01:32:04,160
-Tabitha!
-(Armstrong grunting)
2558
01:32:04,201 --> 01:32:05,161
(grunts)
2559
01:32:05,202 --> 01:32:07,038
No! Someone help me, please!
2560
01:32:07,079 --> 01:32:08,998
Tabitha, hang on!
2561
01:32:09,040 --> 01:32:11,334
Ted, I need upsies-- now.
2562
01:32:11,375 --> 01:32:13,085
(both grunt)
2563
01:32:13,127 --> 01:32:16,088
-(yelps, grunts)
-(Tabitha screaming)
2564
01:32:17,840 --> 01:32:19,508
Dad, help me!
2565
01:32:19,550 --> 01:32:20,634
Look at you.
2566
01:32:20,676 --> 01:32:22,511
You're smart. You're strong.
2567
01:32:22,553 --> 01:32:23,846
You don't need parents.
2568
01:32:23,888 --> 01:32:25,890
What can they possibly
offer you?
2569
01:32:25,931 --> 01:32:28,351
-How about unconditional love?
-(gasps, yells)
2570
01:32:28,392 --> 01:32:30,102
-That's what.
-No, no, no. No.
2571
01:32:30,144 --> 01:32:32,313
-Sayonara.
-No, no, no. No. (screams)
2572
01:32:33,898 --> 01:32:36,525
-(grunts)
-(Armstrong screams, whimpers)
2573
01:32:36,567 --> 01:32:37,902
TIM:
Tabitha!
2574
01:32:37,943 --> 01:32:39,695
(strained grunting)
2575
01:32:39,737 --> 01:32:41,656
(yells)
2576
01:32:41,697 --> 01:32:43,324
-I'm gonna fall!
-Tabitha!
2577
01:32:43,366 --> 01:32:44,533
Hang on!
2578
01:32:44,575 --> 01:32:45,910
(screams)
2579
01:32:45,951 --> 01:32:48,245
I got you. I got you.
2580
01:32:48,287 --> 01:32:50,081
(both sigh)
2581
01:32:50,122 --> 01:32:52,333
I got you, Tabitha.
2582
01:32:52,375 --> 01:32:54,960
(panting)
2583
01:32:55,002 --> 01:32:56,921
I got you.
2584
01:32:56,962 --> 01:32:59,465
That's my big brother.
2585
01:33:00,257 --> 01:33:03,260
Thanks, Marcos Lightspeed.
2586
01:33:05,304 --> 01:33:06,931
Mwah.
2587
01:33:07,765 --> 01:33:09,767
I thought we both
had to grow up.
2588
01:33:09,809 --> 01:33:12,228
Well, let's not
grow up too fast.
2589
01:33:12,269 --> 01:33:13,729
(sighs)
2590
01:33:13,771 --> 01:33:15,147
I love you, Dad.
2591
01:33:15,189 --> 01:33:17,066
I love you, Tabitha Templeton.
2592
01:33:17,108 --> 01:33:19,276
Aw. You see that?
2593
01:33:19,318 --> 01:33:21,570
And you wanted
to take it all away.
2594
01:33:21,612 --> 01:33:23,072
-Where you going?
-Home.
2595
01:33:23,114 --> 01:33:25,950
You know, Doc,
childhood doesn't last forever,
2596
01:33:25,992 --> 01:33:27,827
but family sure does.
2597
01:33:27,868 --> 01:33:29,578
Uncle Ted! Heads up!
2598
01:33:29,620 --> 01:33:31,372
-(screams, grunts)
-Woo-hoo!
2599
01:33:31,414 --> 01:33:33,749
We win! Get ready
to order some pizzas.
2600
01:33:33,791 --> 01:33:36,043
(Ted chuckling)
2601
01:33:37,962 --> 01:33:40,256
* *
2602
01:33:43,009 --> 01:33:44,593
(babies gasping)
2603
01:33:44,635 --> 01:33:46,220
(cheering)
2604
01:33:46,262 --> 01:33:47,346
Woo-hoo!
2605
01:33:47,388 --> 01:33:49,515
-(squeals)
-Cool! (laughs)
2606
01:33:50,641 --> 01:33:52,810
-(gasps)
-(murmuring)
2607
01:33:52,852 --> 01:33:54,854
(Wizzie laughing)
2608
01:33:54,895 --> 01:33:57,315
Huzzah! (laughs)
2609
01:33:57,356 --> 01:33:59,400
Huzzah!
2610
01:34:01,652 --> 01:34:03,904
-(sighs, grunts)
-(applause)
2611
01:34:03,946 --> 01:34:06,198
(cheering)
2612
01:34:08,492 --> 01:34:09,869
Oh, sweet.
2613
01:34:09,910 --> 01:34:11,954
He who findeth keepeth.
2614
01:34:11,996 --> 01:34:13,456
(clears throat)
2615
01:34:13,497 --> 01:34:14,540
(kids cheering)
2616
01:34:14,582 --> 01:34:18,002
Mommy, Daddy,
I missed you so much.
2617
01:34:18,044 --> 01:34:20,421
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Yay!
2618
01:34:20,463 --> 01:34:21,630
Junior!
2619
01:34:21,672 --> 01:34:23,424
-Glue!
-(Jimbo yelps)
2620
01:34:23,466 --> 01:34:25,551
So soft.
2621
01:34:25,593 --> 01:34:27,011
Where are we going?
2622
01:34:27,053 --> 01:34:28,304
Not bad, Templetons.
2623
01:34:28,346 --> 01:34:30,056
Woo-hoo! Yay, Templetons.
2624
01:34:30,097 --> 01:34:31,557
Yeah, mission accomplished.
2625
01:34:31,599 --> 01:34:34,727
And as a bonus,
we stopped Armstrong, too.
2626
01:34:34,769 --> 01:34:36,270
-Huh?
-What?
2627
01:34:36,312 --> 01:34:39,148
My real mission was
getting you two back together.
2628
01:34:39,190 --> 01:34:41,984
-A-plus! See me after class.
-(Tabitha chuckles)
2629
01:34:42,026 --> 01:34:43,736
Wait, so you never
actually quit?
2630
01:34:43,778 --> 01:34:44,987
-Nope.
-Huh.
2631
01:34:45,029 --> 01:34:46,155
Well played.
2632
01:34:46,197 --> 01:34:47,490
I don't like to mix the two,
2633
01:34:47,531 --> 01:34:49,033
but I will say
it was never business.
2634
01:34:49,075 --> 01:34:50,576
It was always personal.
2635
01:34:50,618 --> 01:34:51,952
You know what, kid?
2636
01:34:51,994 --> 01:34:54,246
You're the best boss
I ever had.
2637
01:34:54,288 --> 01:34:55,873
-Thank you, chief.
-(Tabitha chuckles)
2638
01:34:55,915 --> 01:34:57,500
CAROL:
Tim! You actually made it.
2639
01:34:57,541 --> 01:34:59,710
-Yeah.
-I mean, I knew you'd make it.
2640
01:34:59,752 --> 01:35:01,379
-Teddy.
-Teddy, you're here.
2641
01:35:01,420 --> 01:35:03,547
-And look what you're wearing.
-Uh...
2642
01:35:03,589 --> 01:35:05,508
Sweetheart, I cried.
2643
01:35:05,549 --> 01:35:06,676
Then I went blank.
2644
01:35:06,717 --> 01:35:08,469
Oh, come on.
Every-Everyone get together.
2645
01:35:08,511 --> 01:35:10,346
This... We got to get this.
Here we go.
2646
01:35:10,388 --> 01:35:12,014
-Dad, no! -No!
-What?
2647
01:35:12,056 --> 01:35:13,516
(camera clicks)
2648
01:35:13,557 --> 01:35:14,642
(guitar playing)
2649
01:35:14,684 --> 01:35:15,935
TABITHA:
* We know that *
2650
01:35:15,977 --> 01:35:17,812
* Divided we'll fall *
2651
01:35:17,853 --> 01:35:23,234
* So together we stand *
2652
01:35:25,236 --> 01:35:28,030
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2653
01:35:28,072 --> 01:35:29,740
(camera clicks)
2654
01:35:29,782 --> 01:35:35,538
* So together we stand. *
2655
01:35:35,579 --> 01:35:37,415
-Yay, Tabitha!
-That was beautiful!
2656
01:35:37,456 --> 01:35:39,417
-The crowd goes wild!
-(Tina laughing)
2657
01:35:39,458 --> 01:35:41,711
(chuckles)
Thank you. Thank you.
2658
01:35:41,752 --> 01:35:43,045
-(whinnies)
-Aah!
2659
01:35:43,087 --> 01:35:44,714
Aw, hey, Precious.
2660
01:35:44,755 --> 01:35:46,090
(chuckles) You're amazing.
2661
01:35:46,132 --> 01:35:47,967
Oh, I wish Teddy
could have been here.
2662
01:35:48,009 --> 01:35:50,052
Yeah, I know. Me, too.
2663
01:35:50,094 --> 01:35:51,887
-(doorbell rings)
-(gasps)
2664
01:35:51,929 --> 01:35:53,764
-Hmm.
-(squealing)
2665
01:35:55,933 --> 01:35:57,560
Hey, I was just...
2666
01:36:04,233 --> 01:36:06,193
TED:
Merry Christmas, Tim.
2667
01:36:06,235 --> 01:36:08,404
I'm sorry I couldn'tbe there with you,
2668
01:36:08,446 --> 01:36:10,740
but please enjoy this
2669
01:36:10,781 --> 01:36:13,451
inappropriately lavish giftinstead.
2670
01:36:19,123 --> 01:36:22,418
You've given methe greatest gift of all.
2671
01:36:22,460 --> 01:36:24,128
-You.
-(chuckles)
2672
01:36:24,170 --> 01:36:27,590
Love, the best brotherin the world.
2673
01:36:27,631 --> 01:36:29,925
P.S. Duck.
2674
01:36:29,967 --> 01:36:31,761
(shouts)
2675
01:36:31,802 --> 01:36:34,430
(groaning, spitting)
2676
01:36:34,472 --> 01:36:35,765
In your face, Leslie!
2677
01:36:35,806 --> 01:36:37,558
(chuckling):
Hey. Oh, it is on, Lindsey!
2678
01:36:37,600 --> 01:36:40,061
-No. No, no, no, no. Don't,
don't, don't. -Come here!
2679
01:36:40,102 --> 01:36:41,270
I'm younger than you.
2680
01:36:41,312 --> 01:36:42,688
You're a bigger target.
2681
01:36:42,730 --> 01:36:44,273
-(laughs) I got you so good!
-(Ted grunts)
2682
01:36:44,315 --> 01:36:45,775
-(laughing)
-TED: No, you didn't.
2683
01:36:45,816 --> 01:36:47,109
Aah! You missed me!
2684
01:36:47,151 --> 01:36:48,778
Are you thinking
what I'm thinking?
2685
01:36:48,819 --> 01:36:50,196
-Ambush.
-Exactly.
2686
01:36:50,237 --> 01:36:51,656
-TIM: Ow!
-TED: Sneak attack!
2687
01:36:51,697 --> 01:36:53,783
Oh, isn't it great
to see them fighting again?
2688
01:36:53,824 --> 01:36:55,117
(sighs) Finally.
2689
01:36:55,159 --> 01:36:56,786
(toy phone ringing)
2690
01:36:58,120 --> 01:36:59,830
Shouldn't you pick up?
2691
01:36:59,872 --> 01:37:01,791
Nah, we got some
family business.
2692
01:37:01,832 --> 01:37:03,334
Woo-hoo! Yeah!
2693
01:37:03,376 --> 01:37:05,503
-(Carol gasps)
-(ringing continues)
2694
01:37:08,089 --> 01:37:10,675
CHILD (on phone): Tina, we have
another assignment for you.
2695
01:37:10,716 --> 01:37:12,426
(gasps, whispers):
I'm listening.
2696
01:37:12,468 --> 01:37:14,470
JANICE:
Grandma's coming in hot!
2697
01:37:14,512 --> 01:37:17,056
-You want some of Grandpa?
-Everyone, get Tagalong Teddy!
2698
01:37:17,098 --> 01:37:18,808
-TIM: It's true.
-Gotcha!
2699
01:37:18,849 --> 01:37:20,518
You can't stop time.
2700
01:37:20,559 --> 01:37:22,895
But every once in a while,you get a second chance.
2701
01:37:22,937 --> 01:37:24,689
-TABITHA: I'm gonna get you!
-(Precious neighs)
2702
01:37:24,730 --> 01:37:26,357
TIM: So, even thoughyou're only a kid once...
2703
01:37:26,399 --> 01:37:28,192
well, unless you getto be a kid twice,
2704
01:37:28,234 --> 01:37:30,444
which is really weird,to be honest,
2705
01:37:30,486 --> 01:37:33,447
but the point isyou have to grow up sometime.
2706
01:37:33,489 --> 01:37:35,700
-(Wizzie laughing)
-(camera clicks)
2707
01:37:35,741 --> 01:37:38,452
And you should alwaysbe nice to your brother.
2708
01:37:38,494 --> 01:37:40,538
TINA: Ah,that was really sweet, Daddy.
2709
01:37:40,579 --> 01:37:42,415
That'll be great for my report.
2710
01:37:42,456 --> 01:37:44,625
TIM:
Okay, so... so that's it, then.
2711
01:37:44,667 --> 01:37:47,378
TINA: Well, actually,there's one more little thing.
2712
01:37:49,005 --> 01:37:51,257
* *
2713
01:38:00,182 --> 01:38:01,767
(door opens)
2714
01:38:02,893 --> 01:38:04,937
Mama? Papa?
2715
01:38:04,979 --> 01:38:06,272
DAD:
Wha...
2716
01:38:06,314 --> 01:38:09,400
-(gasps) Oh, my son.
-(mom gasping)
2717
01:38:09,442 --> 01:38:11,861
-(dad sobbing)
-(mom laughing)
2718
01:38:11,902 --> 01:38:13,988
MOM:
You came home.
2719
01:38:14,030 --> 01:38:16,032
TIM:
Oh, yeah. Right.
2720
01:38:16,073 --> 01:38:17,867
TINA:
Okay, Pops. Now.
2721
01:38:17,908 --> 01:38:20,161
TIM:
The end.
2722
01:38:20,202 --> 01:38:23,414
("Together We Stand" playing)
2723
01:38:32,214 --> 01:38:34,467
(children's chorus vocalizing)
2724
01:39:04,288 --> 01:39:06,499
* *
2725
01:39:15,966 --> 01:39:18,761
TABITHA:
* Catch my eye *
2726
01:39:18,803 --> 01:39:21,555
* Take my hand *
2727
01:39:21,597 --> 01:39:26,936
* This bond is tighter
than we ever planned *
2728
01:39:26,978 --> 01:39:29,355
* Give me courage *
2729
01:39:29,397 --> 01:39:31,732
* So I can land *
2730
01:39:31,774 --> 01:39:35,319
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2731
01:39:35,361 --> 01:39:39,407
* So together we stand *
2732
01:39:40,491 --> 01:39:43,077
* Climb with me *
2733
01:39:43,119 --> 01:39:46,122
* Share my dreams *
2734
01:39:46,163 --> 01:39:47,915
* Tomorrow's brighter *
2735
01:39:47,957 --> 01:39:51,210
* Than it's ever been *
2736
01:39:51,252 --> 01:39:53,963
* Fear no danger *
2737
01:39:54,005 --> 01:39:56,340
* Make big plans *
2738
01:39:56,382 --> 01:40:00,011
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2739
01:40:00,052 --> 01:40:04,932
* So together we stand *
2740
01:40:04,974 --> 01:40:08,102
* Laugh and cry with me *
2741
01:40:08,144 --> 01:40:10,354
* Fly that high with me *
2742
01:40:10,396 --> 01:40:13,316
* See the sunset
and the sunrise *
2743
01:40:13,357 --> 01:40:16,027
* The world looks so good
through our eyes *
2744
01:40:16,068 --> 01:40:17,903
* Like the moon *
2745
01:40:17,945 --> 01:40:20,114
* And stars at night *
2746
01:40:21,365 --> 01:40:24,118
* Rest your head *
2747
01:40:24,160 --> 01:40:26,829
* Tell me your thoughts *
2748
01:40:26,871 --> 01:40:30,082
* Everything I have
and call mine *
2749
01:40:30,124 --> 01:40:32,251
* Is all yours *
2750
01:40:32,293 --> 01:40:35,046
* Sail that ocean *
2751
01:40:35,087 --> 01:40:37,506
* Find that sand *
2752
01:40:37,548 --> 01:40:41,010
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2753
01:40:41,052 --> 01:40:45,348
* So together we stand *
2754
01:40:45,389 --> 01:40:47,642
(children's chorus vocalizing)
2755
01:41:05,034 --> 01:41:07,578
* Reach with me *
2756
01:41:07,620 --> 01:41:10,665
* See the sky *
2757
01:41:10,706 --> 01:41:15,878
* I'll always be here
for the rest of your life *
2758
01:41:15,920 --> 01:41:18,589
* Side by side *
2759
01:41:18,631 --> 01:41:21,217
* Hand in hand *
2760
01:41:21,258 --> 01:41:26,973
* We speak a language
no one else can understand *
2761
01:41:27,014 --> 01:41:29,475
* Hear those cheers *
2762
01:41:29,517 --> 01:41:31,936
* Strike up the band *
2763
01:41:31,978 --> 01:41:35,356
* We know that
divided we'll fall *
2764
01:41:35,398 --> 01:41:40,903
* So together we stand *
2765
01:41:42,613 --> 01:41:44,448
* We know that *
2766
01:41:44,490 --> 01:41:47,076
* Divided we'll fall *
2767
01:41:47,118 --> 01:41:54,291
* So together we stand. *
2768
01:41:54,333 --> 01:41:57,128
(song ends)
2769
01:41:57,169 --> 01:41:59,463
* *
2770
01:42:16,647 --> 01:42:18,941
(chorus vocalizing)
2771
01:42:29,201 --> 01:42:31,495
* *
2772
01:43:01,233 --> 01:43:03,527
* *
2773
01:43:33,265 --> 01:43:35,559
* *
2774
01:44:05,297 --> 01:44:07,591
* *
2775
01:44:37,330 --> 01:44:39,623
* *
2776
01:45:09,362 --> 01:45:11,656
* *
2777
01:45:41,394 --> 01:45:43,688
* *
2778
01:46:13,426 --> 01:46:15,720
* *
2779
01:46:45,458 --> 01:46:47,752
* *
2780
01:47:11,275 --> 01:47:13,277
(music fades)
180740
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