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1
00:00:06,882 --> 00:00:09,512
I've got a half-caff 2%
for Titanium Rex.
2
00:00:10,220 --> 00:00:12,300
Excuse me.
I believe that's mine.
3
00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:15,268
Ugh! Still using my name,
are you?
4
00:00:15,349 --> 00:00:18,099
I have more right to the name
"Titanium Rex" than you.
5
00:00:18,186 --> 00:00:20,056
That's not what
the court said, is it?
6
00:00:20,062 --> 00:00:20,232
That's not what
the court said, is it?
I am a T. rex
with titanium arms!
7
00:00:20,230 --> 00:00:22,020
I am a T. rex
with titanium arms!
8
00:00:22,106 --> 00:00:24,316
Unhand my beverage.
9
00:00:26,069 --> 00:00:28,779
Decaf skinny vanilla latte
for Titanium Rex?
10
00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:32,619
Oh. Never mind.
That one's actually mine.
11
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:36,370
Tell it to the judge,
Robodino! Ah! (LAUGHING)
12
00:00:36,454 --> 00:00:38,504
(BELL JINGLES)
(GROWLS)
13
00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:41,211
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
14
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,506
(GRUNTS)
15
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:49,180
You want some Cooch?
16
00:00:50,135 --> 00:00:51,295
(GASPS) Argh!
17
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,465
Don't get mad, get Brad.
18
00:01:22,333 --> 00:01:25,753
Saturn, please get your feet
off the stove.
I just cleaned it.
19
00:01:25,836 --> 00:01:28,836
Oy, my friend, I haven't seen
you in synagogue for weeks!
20
00:01:28,923 --> 00:01:30,133
Oh, shit. The Jew thing.
21
00:01:30,132 --> 00:01:30,302
Oh, shit. The Jew thing.
Cinnamon-raisin? Yuck!
22
00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,970
Cinnamon-raisin? Yuck!
23
00:01:32,051 --> 00:01:34,181
I'll take it.
No, no, no! (GOBBLES)
24
00:01:34,261 --> 00:01:36,721
Come on, now, Jewbot.
Time for your Hebrew lesson.
25
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:40,225
Yeah, I'm not coming.
I've decided to become
a Reform Jew.
26
00:01:40,310 --> 00:01:42,390
That is the easy one, right?
Reform?
27
00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:47,108
Oh, my heart breaks
for you, Jewbot!
Moses weeps, Abraham...
28
00:01:47,191 --> 00:01:49,191
Ooh, is that string cheese?
I'm staying for lunch!
29
00:01:49,610 --> 00:01:51,320
Ah, the Sunday funnies.
30
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:55,123
Thirty pages of artfully
rendered American adventure,
hilarity, and
31
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:55,275
Thirty pages of artfully
rendered American adventure,
hilarity, and
they're still doing
Prince Valiant? Jeepers!
This sucked in 1937!
32
00:01:55,283 --> 00:01:59,663
they're still doing
Prince Valiant? Jeepers!
This sucked in 1937!
33
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:03,790
Got a free skinny
vanilla latte if any of you
hate yourselves.
34
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,714
No, thanks. I'm all about
this smoothie right now.
35
00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:09,714
Well, I'm glad to see
you're taking care
of yourself, Brad.
36
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:13,427
Yeah, I'm trying
to stay centered,
reconnect with my body,
37
00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:15,759
and get a little taste
of tranquility.
38
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,224
(WHIRRING)
Aaah! Mega! (SCREAMS)
39
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,886
Aw, no way!
Is this fucking decaf? Hragh!
40
00:02:21,976 --> 00:02:23,056
Get a haircut, Valiant!
41
00:02:23,143 --> 00:02:24,773
I did a bad thing, Marjorie!
42
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,113
Suck my dick, Winkerbean!
43
00:02:27,273 --> 00:02:29,193
(SCREAMING)
44
00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:29,361
(SCREAMING)
Well, so much
for a quiet day at home.
45
00:02:29,359 --> 00:02:31,899
Well, so much
for a quiet day at home.
46
00:02:31,986 --> 00:02:33,106
Excuse me, Rex.
47
00:02:33,196 --> 00:02:36,066
There's a highly
attractive young woman
at the door for you.
48
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:40,286
You say that like you're
surprised. I still get
groupies, you know.
49
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:43,619
Some of them
are pretty...ish.
50
00:02:44,039 --> 00:02:45,749
I rest my case.
51
00:02:45,833 --> 00:02:48,253
I may not even need
my boner pills for this one.
52
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:51,127
What can I do for you,
young lady?
53
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:54,634
Oh, uh, sorry to just show up
unannounced like this.
54
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:57,137
I'm Lex. Lex Lightning!
(CHUCKLES)
55
00:02:57,220 --> 00:03:00,310
I'm, uh, your daughter.
(CHUCKLES) I'm your daughter.
56
00:03:00,390 --> 00:03:03,270
But wha...
Where'd we land
on that boner pill?
57
00:03:03,351 --> 00:03:04,851
Bup, bup, bup, bup.
Get that away!
58
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:07,055
My daughter, you say?
59
00:03:07,146 --> 00:03:10,066
Oh, my God! We've even got
the same hands!
60
00:03:10,149 --> 00:03:12,569
REX: Organic matter,
just like mine.
61
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:16,031
I can't believe my mom tried
to hide you from me
all these years.
62
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,873
She's such a weirdo, right?
63
00:03:17,948 --> 00:03:20,738
Uh, and your mother is who,
exactly?
64
00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:24,196
Oh, I doubt you remember her.
She said you guys had
a one-night bangadoo.
65
00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:26,000
Yep, that's the term she used.
66
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,251
Christina Jones?
From Des Moines?
67
00:03:28,334 --> 00:03:31,464
Christina Jones!
Yea... No,
I don't remember.
68
00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:34,205
Oh, no. Doesn't matter.
We're not really
on good terms.
69
00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:37,264
I'm just so happy to finally
meet you in the flesh.
70
00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:37,429
I'm just so happy to finally
meet you in the flesh.
My real live dad!
Oh, I've always
71
00:03:37,427 --> 00:03:39,887
My real live dad!
Oh, I've always
72
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,260
wondered about you...
REX (THINKING): You idiot!
Now you've done it.
73
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:42,434
wondered about you...
REX (THINKING): You idiot!
Now you've done it.
Couldn't keep it
in your pants,
and now you're on the hook
74
00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:45,022
Couldn't keep it
in your pants,
and now you're on the hook
75
00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,810
for 18 years
of back child support.
76
00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:49,265
You're just a genius,
aren't you?
77
00:03:49,355 --> 00:03:53,185
Well, nowhere to hide now.
Just keep smiling,
nodding your head
78
00:03:53,276 --> 00:03:55,566
while your life falls apart
before your...
79
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,453
Rex, aren't you gonna
introduce us to your
smokin'-hot daughter?
80
00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:01,330
Who you callin' hot?
That hottie?
I ain't threatened.
81
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:04,328
Oh! I'm Lex. It's
so nice to meet you all.
82
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:06,621
I'm geekin' out.
I'm sorry. I'm a huge fan!
83
00:04:06,705 --> 00:04:08,285
(CHUCKLES)
84
00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:08,460
(CHUCKLES)
So, which one of us is
your favorite? It's me, right?
85
00:04:08,458 --> 00:04:11,378
So, which one of us is
your favorite? It's me, right?
86
00:04:11,461 --> 00:04:14,131
Well...
Sorry, honey,
I'm off the market
87
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,343
as long as this ring's
on my finger.
88
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,843
Yep, off the market.
89
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,255
Well, you're all
awesome, okay?
90
00:04:19,344 --> 00:04:20,554
Can I just put that out there
for the record?
91
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:24,006
Uh, but if I had to pick one,
I'd have to go with Cooch.
92
00:04:24,098 --> 00:04:26,478
She's such a total
all-around inspiration.
93
00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,268
(SNIFFING) Something smells
like, uh, bullshit.
94
00:04:29,354 --> 00:04:31,774
Cooch, manners.
That's Rex's bastard child.
95
00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:35,275
My nose is
a finely tuned instrument.
This dude ain't cool.
96
00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:35,435
My nose is
a finely tuned instrument.
This dude ain't cool.
So, Lex, you (CLEARS THROAT)
staying in town?
97
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:38,743
So, Lex, you (CLEARS THROAT)
staying in town?
98
00:04:38,821 --> 00:04:41,411
Well, I still need
a place to crash.
99
00:04:41,491 --> 00:04:42,661
ALL: She can stay
in my room!
100
00:04:42,741 --> 00:04:46,201
No, no, no.
She's not going to stay
in any of your rooms.
101
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,326
She'll bunk with Cooch.
Yay! (GIGGLES)
102
00:04:48,414 --> 00:04:50,544
I'd rather lick
my own butthole!
103
00:04:50,624 --> 00:04:52,174
You do lick your own butthole.
104
00:04:52,251 --> 00:04:53,881
Well, then, I'd rather lick
your butthole.
105
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,591
That is not happening.
106
00:04:55,671 --> 00:04:57,341
You can't stay awake forever.
107
00:04:58,383 --> 00:05:00,393
Cooch, please don't lick
my butthole.
108
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:02,178
No promises.
109
00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,216
Pull up a rug.
What's mine is yours.
110
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:09,305
You have such great style.
I mean, did you decorate this
place yourself or hire a pro?
111
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:11,983
Hire a pro?
What a waste of money.
112
00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:15,272
Hey! Get your hands off
my pogs! I'm still paying
those off!
113
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:18,364
O-M-God. The Stankk Bros?
114
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:18,530
O-M-God. The Stankk Bros?
I lo... Oh my... Oh, my gosh.
We're the same person!
(GIGGLES) I love musicians!
115
00:05:18,528 --> 00:05:23,368
I lo... Oh my... Oh, my gosh.
We're the same person!
(GIGGLES) I love musicians!
116
00:05:23,782 --> 00:05:25,532
Uh, they're the only guys
I'll date.
117
00:05:25,617 --> 00:05:28,367
I'll date anyone that'll bang
a humanoid cat.
118
00:05:28,454 --> 00:05:31,464
So, pretty much musicians.
And Brad.
119
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:35,630
That's what I'm all about.
Uh, musicians...and unicorns.
120
00:05:35,961 --> 00:05:38,381
I can't believe you just got
that out of me. Who are you?
121
00:05:38,380 --> 00:05:38,550
I can't believe you just got
that out of me. Who are you?
You guys hear that?
Lex digs musicians.
We've got our in.
122
00:05:38,548 --> 00:05:41,338
You guys hear that?
Lex digs musicians.
We've got our in.
123
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:41,511
You guys hear that?
Lex digs musicians.
We've got our in.
I don't know.
The unicorn thing makes me
think she's retarded.
124
00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,429
I don't know.
The unicorn thing makes me
think she's retarded.
125
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,351
Dude, you can't say
that anymore.
126
00:05:46,430 --> 00:05:49,350
What's the currently
acceptable term?
"Adorkable."
127
00:05:52,437 --> 00:05:54,437
Contemplating fatherhood, Rex?
128
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:56,522
I can barely deal
with my own crap!
129
00:05:56,607 --> 00:05:59,487
I am not cut out to be
a dad. Right?
130
00:05:59,568 --> 00:06:01,358
I think that's a fair
assumption.
131
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:01,531
I think that's a fair
assumption.
But I, I didn't know
Lex existed until today.
132
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:04,779
But I, I didn't know
Lex existed until today.
133
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:07,365
At which point you ran away
and started drinking.
134
00:06:08,410 --> 00:06:12,040
Oh, you're right.
I'll never know what kind
of father I can be
135
00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:14,882
until I face my responsibility
like a man.
136
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,745
That's big of you, Rex.
137
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,495
Why don't you run her DNA
just to make sure?
138
00:06:18,588 --> 00:06:20,128
Yeah, I was kind of waiting
for that.
139
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,800
(PLAYING OFF-KEY)
140
00:06:22,925 --> 00:06:24,925
Wait. Are you guys musicians?
141
00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:27,510
Hey, Lex.
I didn't see you there.
142
00:06:27,597 --> 00:06:28,847
Yeah, we totally have a band.
143
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,268
What, uh...
What kind of music?
144
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,231
It's good old
American ragtime.
Electronica.
145
00:06:33,310 --> 00:06:35,850
Death metal.
We're called Razr Dik.
146
00:06:35,938 --> 00:06:40,318
I did not slaughter 8,000
Krauts so I could wind up
in a band called Razr Dik!
147
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,440
I like it.
Razr Dik it is!
148
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:42,614
I like it.
Razr Dik it is!
Let's all get tattoos.
You like tattoos, Lex?
149
00:06:42,612 --> 00:06:44,822
Let's all get tattoos.
You like tattoos, Lex?
150
00:06:45,239 --> 00:06:47,619
Brad, what the shit?
You flirtin' with that trash?
151
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:50,409
Uh, last I checked,
you just wanted
to be friends.
152
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:50,580
Uh, last I checked,
you just wanted
to be friends.
So, yeah,
I'd like to bang
Rex's daughter.
153
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:52,698
So, yeah,
I'd like to bang
Rex's daughter.
154
00:06:52,788 --> 00:06:54,828
And if not her,
someone else's daughter,
155
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,955
or son, grandpa.
Dealer's choice.
156
00:06:58,293 --> 00:07:01,133
Suit yourself. What are you
even talking to me for?
See ya!
157
00:07:01,213 --> 00:07:05,433
I guess I like music
that's raw, savage, dangerous.
158
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:07,340
Dangerous like a unicorn?
159
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:08,757
Ooh, is that one
of your songs?
160
00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:12,516
Uh-huh. Yeah.
We were just about to,
you know, lay it down.
161
00:07:12,599 --> 00:07:15,349
What the hell?
Aw, crap!
It's her old man!
162
00:07:16,103 --> 00:07:17,233
Jesus! Run!
163
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,441
Lex, may I talk to you
a moment?
164
00:07:19,731 --> 00:07:22,861
Sure, Daddy.
Wow, that feels weird to say.
165
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,573
Is it weird to you
or totally normal?
166
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:28,492
I, I don't know
exactly how to do this.
167
00:07:28,574 --> 00:07:30,454
I, I've never had
a kid before.
168
00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:32,124
And I've never had
a dad before.
169
00:07:32,202 --> 00:07:33,752
I guess that makes us
both newbies.
170
00:07:33,829 --> 00:07:35,079
So, where do we start?
171
00:07:35,163 --> 00:07:37,463
Well, um,
I don't know how to fly.
172
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:37,627
Well, um,
I don't know how to fly.
Think you could show me how?
173
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:38,745
Think you could show me how?
174
00:07:38,834 --> 00:07:40,504
Sure! Let's go fly!
175
00:07:40,586 --> 00:07:42,046
Oh, wait, yay! Sho... Yeah!
176
00:07:42,129 --> 00:07:43,509
I'm sorry.
Couldn't pick a word.
177
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:43,665
I'm sorry.
Couldn't pick a word.
Let's just hug
a little bit longer.
178
00:07:43,673 --> 00:07:45,133
Let's just hug
a little bit longer.
179
00:07:46,258 --> 00:07:49,508
Still hugging.
And we're done.
180
00:07:49,761 --> 00:07:52,891
O-M-God! This is amazing!
181
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:55,063
Do you think I can learn to do
this on my own someday?
182
00:07:55,142 --> 00:07:56,602
I don't see why not.
183
00:07:56,686 --> 00:07:58,556
Maybe after this,
we can go get pizza,
184
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,475
and then later,
you can teach me how
to hone my superpowers.
185
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:01,651
and then later,
you can teach me how
to hone my superpowers.
We could go to the mall
and shop for shoes...
186
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:02,769
We could go to the mall
and shop for shoes...
187
00:08:02,858 --> 00:08:05,488
REX (THINKING): Calm down.
You want this, Rex.
188
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:05,645
REX (THINKING): Calm down.
You want this, Rex.
Someone to look after,
someone to worry about
every time you hear a siren.
189
00:08:05,653 --> 00:08:10,913
Someone to look after,
someone to worry about
every time you hear a siren.
190
00:08:11,366 --> 00:08:14,326
You pounded your way across
this great nation
191
00:08:14,411 --> 00:08:17,081
and now you have to deal
with the consequences.
192
00:08:17,540 --> 00:08:22,670
And you can kiss
your weekends goodbye,
'cause that's family time!
193
00:08:23,712 --> 00:08:26,012
Dad?
(PANICKED BREATHING)
194
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:27,631
Dad!
195
00:08:29,677 --> 00:08:30,927
One, two, three, cuatro!
196
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,926
♪ I'm a wild one, baby
197
00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:35,894
♪ I'm a naughty unicorn
198
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,595
♪ My hooves
are made of kisses
199
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:42,810
♪ And this song is my horn
Yeah! ♪
200
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,938
Come on, Rex!
We're trying
to find our sound!
201
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,105
What are you guys
doing in here?
202
00:08:46,193 --> 00:08:48,533
What does it look like?
(PLAYS MELODIC RIFF)
203
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:48,698
What does it look like?
(PLAYS MELODIC RIFF)
Hey, where's Lex?
204
00:08:48,696 --> 00:08:50,236
Hey, where's Lex?
205
00:08:50,322 --> 00:08:52,662
Who? Oh, yes.
Lex, of course.
(CHUCKLES)
206
00:08:52,741 --> 00:08:57,411
She, well, uh... She decided,
you know, to, to do
her own thing, and...
207
00:08:57,496 --> 00:09:00,916
What did you do, Rex?
What did you do?
208
00:09:00,999 --> 00:09:03,879
Nothing! Her mom came back
and she was adopted
by a rich uncle
209
00:09:03,961 --> 00:09:05,751
and she got a job
on a fishing boat in Alaska,
210
00:09:05,837 --> 00:09:08,757
so no need for me
to turn my life upside down
and learn to love!
211
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:10,586
Rex, you okay?
212
00:09:10,676 --> 00:09:12,546
Ah, pop a squat.
Let's rap for a bit.
213
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:16,765
Oh, sure. Let's have
an intense talk
about my feelings
214
00:09:16,848 --> 00:09:18,518
while you're
noodling a keytar.
215
00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,651
That seems like
a great use of my time.
216
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:23,268
Rex, come quick.
Lex is on the television.
217
00:09:23,355 --> 00:09:27,685
Shocking news today
as once-beloved superhero
Titanium Rex abandons
218
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:30,776
his illegitimate daughter
on a treacherous mountaintop.
219
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:33,744
What kind of monster
abandons his baby?
220
00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:35,697
She's what?
Oh, she's a grown woman?
221
00:09:35,784 --> 00:09:36,794
Well, that's not so bad.
222
00:09:36,868 --> 00:09:38,578
But while some are willing
to forgive...
223
00:09:38,662 --> 00:09:41,082
(CLAMORING)
...others are not.
224
00:09:41,498 --> 00:09:43,788
No doubt it's a black eye
for the beleaguered
League of Freedom,
225
00:09:43,875 --> 00:09:47,205
and once again calls
Titanium Rex's leadership
into question.
226
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,625
I am absolutely gobsmacked!
227
00:09:49,757 --> 00:09:52,717
These allegations
are sickening and, if true,
228
00:09:52,802 --> 00:09:54,762
I'm coming for that
deadbeat daddy's ass!
229
00:09:55,053 --> 00:09:58,853
You hear me, Rex?
I'mma shut your
whole operation down!
230
00:09:58,932 --> 00:10:01,692
A man doesn't leave
his kids, no matter what.
231
00:10:01,769 --> 00:10:05,649
Wait, do I have kids?
Uh, this might be
a glasshouse situation, guys.
232
00:10:05,731 --> 00:10:08,651
Yep. Can't leave your kids
and can't leave
your antique wife.
233
00:10:08,734 --> 00:10:11,454
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)
234
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:12,778
Because family comes first.
235
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:14,413
Have you no soul, Rex?
236
00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,949
So what if he doesn't?
Fine! I'll fix it!
237
00:10:18,035 --> 00:10:22,365
It's fine. Don't worry.
Just a little hypothermia.
And a broken heart.
238
00:10:22,456 --> 00:10:25,076
MALE REPORTER: What would you
say to your piece-of-shit
father if he was here?
239
00:10:25,167 --> 00:10:28,667
Uh, first thought,
"You suck as a father.
You're horrible."
240
00:10:28,754 --> 00:10:30,884
Uh, I don't know. These are
just all first thoughts.
241
00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:33,884
She might say that her dad
was just trying to teach
242
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:37,637
his little girl how to fly
and made a terrible mistake.
243
00:10:37,722 --> 00:10:39,602
MALE REPORTER: By leaving her
on a mountaintop?
244
00:10:39,682 --> 00:10:40,972
Like, what kind
of parenting is that?
245
00:10:41,058 --> 00:10:44,188
The kind before people used
words like "parenting."
246
00:10:44,478 --> 00:10:45,648
That's how I learned.
247
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,649
Oh, then you
then you weren't
abandoning me?
248
00:10:47,732 --> 00:10:50,282
Never! You're my daughter,
249
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:53,818
my baby girl, my heart.
250
00:10:54,196 --> 00:10:56,696
She's my heart, everyone,
in case that wasn't clear.
251
00:10:56,782 --> 00:10:59,202
CROWD: Aww!
REX (THINKING):
That's the stuff, Rexy.
252
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,544
You got 'em eating
out of your hand.
253
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:03,831
Why are you so happy?
What? Oh!
254
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,174
Now, that's just the look
of a proud papa.
255
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:10,460
And Lex is going to be moving
into the mansion permanently.
256
00:11:10,545 --> 00:11:14,965
Ooh! I am?
I'd like another shot
at being your father, Lex.
257
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:17,682
If you'll have me.
Oh, Daddy!
258
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,681
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
(CAMERAS CLICKING)
259
00:11:19,763 --> 00:11:21,563
♪ Dangerous!
♪ Hey! Hey!
260
00:11:21,807 --> 00:11:23,807
♪ Like a unicorn!
261
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:29,266
♪ Might accidentally spear you
with my giant horn! ♪
262
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:32,436
No! No! Stop playing, guys!
This song sucks!
263
00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:35,817
Brad, are you coming in
on the "der, der, der"
part or not?
264
00:11:35,905 --> 00:11:36,905
I was naked out there!
265
00:11:36,988 --> 00:11:38,778
Hey, when do
we start doing drugs?
266
00:11:38,866 --> 00:11:41,446
Hey, guys. I'm back.
Great sound.
267
00:11:41,535 --> 00:11:44,245
Would've been better
if Brad hadn't muffed
the "der, der, der."
268
00:11:44,329 --> 00:11:45,459
Did you notice I'm the singer?
269
00:11:45,539 --> 00:11:48,419
Uhp-bup-bup-bup!
What are you doing in here?
This is a closed rehearsal.
270
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,750
Who's he?
Shmuley?
Uh, he's our new manager.
271
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:50,882
Who's he?
Shmuley?
Uh, he's our new manager.
And you must be the harpy
who's got them on this
godforsaken unicorn kick!
272
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:55,878
And you must be the harpy
who's got them on this
godforsaken unicorn kick!
273
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:57,376
Well, I, I liked it.
274
00:11:57,467 --> 00:11:59,587
This is how
great bands break up!
275
00:11:59,678 --> 00:12:01,718
You, you want to make it?
It's her or me.
276
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:05,518
This is going to require
a gentle touch.
277
00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:07,060
Let me handle this.
278
00:12:07,144 --> 00:12:08,694
Hey! Sweetheart, hey!
279
00:12:08,771 --> 00:12:10,651
Take your band-destroying
witchcraft and
get out of here!
280
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,270
Go back to China, Yoko!
281
00:12:12,357 --> 00:12:14,727
Sorry, Lex.
You'll have to leave.
282
00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,697
Oh, I know. I, I'm sorry.
283
00:12:17,780 --> 00:12:20,160
I didn't realize
I was interrupting
your creative process.
284
00:12:20,824 --> 00:12:23,084
Ooh, that was rough.
But we can't let some girl
285
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,040
get between us
and our music.
Right, guys?
286
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,870
Razr Dik before chicks!
287
00:12:26,955 --> 00:12:29,285
Dudes can pleasure each other,
and it's fine!
288
00:12:30,208 --> 00:12:31,998
Uh, one, two, three, four!
289
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,424
You catch the news, Agony?
290
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:36,764
You may have played the media,
but you can't play a player.
291
00:12:36,840 --> 00:12:39,300
Sorry, Agony, I couldn't hear
you over the sounds
292
00:12:39,384 --> 00:12:41,934
of the public eating
voraciously out of the
palm of my hand.
293
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:43,182
I'm gon' be watching you!
294
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:46,313
Hey! Lex, how would you like
to get out of the house?
295
00:12:46,391 --> 00:12:48,021
Wow, that, that'd be great.
296
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:49,851
I just got blown off
by Razr Dik.
297
00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,557
Don't ever tell me
what that means.
298
00:12:51,813 --> 00:12:55,903
I was thinking we could do
some superheroing together,
in public.
299
00:12:55,985 --> 00:12:57,735
Really? Like, now?
300
00:12:57,820 --> 00:13:00,070
Yep. Just you and me.
Come here!
301
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:01,195
(CAMERA CLICKS)
302
00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:06,872
You can do it, Lex!
Just set your mind free.
303
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:09,584
And when you're ready,
let go of my hand.
304
00:13:09,664 --> 00:13:11,044
Okay, I'll try.
305
00:13:12,667 --> 00:13:15,337
And look! A news helicopter.
306
00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:17,800
Might as well smile
for the cameras. Oh!
307
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,551
(SCREAMING)
308
00:13:19,633 --> 00:13:21,343
Open your eyes!
309
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,506
(SCREAMING)
310
00:13:23,803 --> 00:13:26,563
I'll never be able to fly.
I'm such an idiot!
311
00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,890
Sure you will.
You've just got to, uh...
312
00:13:28,976 --> 00:13:29,846
Believe in myself?
313
00:13:29,935 --> 00:13:31,805
Oh, God, no.
Just keep your eyes open
314
00:13:31,895 --> 00:13:35,265
so your impending
death kick-starts
your ability to fly.
315
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,897
I love hanging out
with you, Dad. (CHUCKLES)
316
00:13:36,983 --> 00:13:38,943
Me too, sweetie.
I really do.
317
00:13:39,027 --> 00:13:40,857
We're making
some real memories.
318
00:13:40,946 --> 00:13:44,196
You know what would cap
this father/daughter day off
just right?
319
00:13:44,282 --> 00:13:46,912
Defeating
a super-villain together.
320
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:50,923
And I have a pretty good idea
where we might find one.
321
00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:53,713
Ooh, yeah!
That's it! Work it!
322
00:13:53,792 --> 00:13:56,042
Ooh, this is
total boner food. Yeah!
323
00:13:56,127 --> 00:13:57,297
What is the meaning of this?
324
00:13:57,379 --> 00:13:59,919
Well, you can't move
units without a kick-ass
album cover.
325
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:02,967
You can't move units
without units!
326
00:14:03,052 --> 00:14:05,052
You haven't written
a single song!
327
00:14:05,136 --> 00:14:07,926
We've still got that unicorn
ditty in the chamber.
♪ Der, der, der ♪
328
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:10,975
You are never recording
that unicorn song!
It's terrible!
329
00:14:11,060 --> 00:14:12,900
Ugh. We're just not inspired.
330
00:14:12,978 --> 00:14:15,728
We only formed the band
to get into Lex's pants.
331
00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:17,944
Well, according
to the contract you signed,
332
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:19,994
you owe me a hit single.
333
00:14:20,069 --> 00:14:21,899
Maybe a lawsuit
would inspire you.
334
00:14:22,821 --> 00:14:25,241
♪ Lawsuit,
you've been warned ♪
335
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:28,953
♪ Lawsuit, like a unicor... ♪
336
00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:31,156
Oh, God damn it!
What doesn't rhyme
with "unicorn"?
337
00:14:31,246 --> 00:14:33,666
Get me that song,
or I'll see you in court!
338
00:14:36,085 --> 00:14:39,875
(IN MONOTONE VOICE)
I have taken this bank
by force! No one can stop me!
339
00:14:39,964 --> 00:14:42,384
Rah, ah!
I'm the great Robodi...
340
00:14:42,465 --> 00:14:45,335
No, can't say it.
God, I hate that stupid name.
341
00:14:45,427 --> 00:14:47,887
REX: Unhand that bank,
Robodino!
342
00:14:47,887 --> 00:14:48,057
REX: Unhand that bank,
Robodino!
The jig is up.
343
00:14:48,055 --> 00:14:49,255
The jig is up.
344
00:14:49,347 --> 00:14:52,557
Oh, no!
It's that old superhero
and his daughter.
345
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:55,652
What?
No! 'Tis I, Titanium Rex!
346
00:14:55,729 --> 00:14:58,019
And his beloved offspring,
Lex Lightning!
347
00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:02,776
It's showtime, Lex.
Cheat out to the cameras
and remember, smile!
348
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:05,109
Yah!
Stop it! Agh!
349
00:15:05,196 --> 00:15:08,076
Nice form, Lex!
Thanks! Hyah!
350
00:15:08,283 --> 00:15:10,953
(GRUNTS)
Hey, not so hard!
Take it easy!
351
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:15,116
Sorry, Robodino,
my daughter and I
never take it easy on evil.
352
00:15:15,206 --> 00:15:17,786
We had a deal!
Not now!
353
00:15:17,876 --> 00:15:20,956
But... (SPUTTERS) But you
promised if I made you look
good for the cameras,
354
00:15:21,046 --> 00:15:23,416
you'd sign over
the Titanium Rex name to me!
355
00:15:23,506 --> 00:15:26,376
And I will, just not now!
356
00:15:27,761 --> 00:15:30,141
Why do you need
to look good
for the cameras?
357
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:33,931
Well... Uh, uh, we...
Ooh, someone inherited
my magno-hearing.
358
00:15:34,017 --> 00:15:36,057
(CHUCKLES)
Honey, I, uh...
359
00:15:36,144 --> 00:15:39,484
Holy "S."
You staged this
as a photo op?
360
00:15:39,564 --> 00:15:41,574
Lex, honey,
it, it's complicated.
361
00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:45,109
All I ever wanted was
to get to know my dad.
I guess I did.
362
00:15:45,195 --> 00:15:49,485
Lex...
No, you know what?
We're done, Rex. Screw you.
363
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,409
(CAMERA CLICKING)
364
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,003
Enjoy that name while you can!
365
00:15:54,079 --> 00:15:57,709
Because mark my words,
it will be mine.
366
00:16:01,128 --> 00:16:02,958
Lex, uh, please don't go.
367
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:03,132
Lex, uh, please don't go.
Oh, I, I think I speak
for everyone when I say
we want you to stay.
368
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:07,380
Oh, I, I think I speak
for everyone when I say
we want you to stay.
369
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,927
You forgot your toothbrush!
Now get the fuck out of here!
370
00:16:10,345 --> 00:16:14,345
Lex, I have no excuse
for my behavior except
my advancing age.
371
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:18,482
So, wait. Um, so, you weren't
pretending to be a good father
just for the cameras?
372
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,151
No, I, I was pretending,
373
00:16:20,230 --> 00:16:22,400
but now that
the cameras are off,
374
00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,442
maybe I can keep pretending.
375
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:26,146
(GROANS) That came out wrong.
376
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,146
I was better off
without a father.
377
00:16:28,238 --> 00:16:31,448
Hwah! Aah!
378
00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,285
Oh, who wants to fly, anyway?
379
00:16:34,369 --> 00:16:37,709
Only big dude, rude dude,
fatty jerks fly.
380
00:16:37,789 --> 00:16:39,669
That's you!
I meant every word!
381
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,496
Rex really let her down.
382
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:43,754
Yeah, nothing but crack pipe
from here.
383
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,587
Rex's little girl is
all grown up.
384
00:16:45,672 --> 00:16:48,262
Unicorns and rainbows
fade to black.
385
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:52,971
All that's left are...
Not unicorns
and black rainbows.
386
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:55,635
Black rainbows.
387
00:16:57,725 --> 00:17:00,805
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
388
00:17:06,443 --> 00:17:09,033
♪ You let
that sweet girl down
389
00:17:11,156 --> 00:17:13,446
♪ Then you left her
in the rain
390
00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:18,330
♪ You thought
he'd bring you presents
391
00:17:19,289 --> 00:17:22,249
♪ But all you got was pain
392
00:17:23,668 --> 00:17:26,548
♪ You said she was your baby
393
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,256
♪ She thought you
had her back
394
00:17:30,091 --> 00:17:33,551
♪ But some rain jacked up
your rainbows
395
00:17:33,636 --> 00:17:36,096
♪ And the colors swirled to...
396
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,266
♪ Black rainbows,
black rainbows
397
00:17:40,977 --> 00:17:43,267
♪ No sunshine in view
398
00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:47,944
♪ You're up there
on a precipice
399
00:17:48,359 --> 00:17:52,449
♪ There's a, a dinosaur
behind you ♪
400
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:53,700
Huh?
401
00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:54,821
Aah!
402
00:17:55,950 --> 00:17:59,120
Now, that's a club banger
I can sell!
403
00:18:02,332 --> 00:18:04,172
(RINGING)
404
00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:07,170
(SIGHS) Robodino,
this is not a good time.
405
00:18:07,254 --> 00:18:11,134
When is a good time
to call back and tell you
I've kidnapped your daughter?
406
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:12,176
If you want to see
her alive again,
407
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,968
you need to get your ass down
to the trademark office
408
00:18:15,053 --> 00:18:18,523
and sign over the name
Titanium Rex
once and for all! Peace!
409
00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:25,188
Took you long enough.
410
00:18:25,272 --> 00:18:27,692
I suppose you think
my mechanical arm
doesn't cramp.
411
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,614
News flash... It does.
Now sign over that name!
412
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:32,323
It's all yours.
413
00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,953
Haven't you been reading
the papers?
414
00:18:34,030 --> 00:18:38,580
The only thing Titanium Rex
means now is "shitty dad
whose daughter hates him."
415
00:18:38,952 --> 00:18:41,372
I never thought
about that. Shit!
416
00:18:41,704 --> 00:18:44,834
You screwed up
the name for both of us!
Forget it! Deal's off!
417
00:18:45,334 --> 00:18:46,384
No!
418
00:18:46,459 --> 00:18:47,589
(GRUNTS)
419
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:51,301
Huh? (SCREAMING)
REX: Lex!
420
00:18:51,381 --> 00:18:54,341
Open your eyes!
421
00:18:54,425 --> 00:18:57,255
Fly, Lex! Fly!
422
00:18:57,346 --> 00:18:58,756
(SCREAMS)
423
00:19:01,099 --> 00:19:02,769
That's my daughter
right there!
424
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,520
I'm flying! I'm really flying!
425
00:19:05,603 --> 00:19:07,523
Hey, Dad, check this out!
426
00:19:07,605 --> 00:19:08,815
Just fly, sweetie!
427
00:19:09,316 --> 00:19:14,236
Whoo! I'm a bird! I'm a plane!
I'm a guided missile of hate!
428
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,284
That's my girl!
429
00:19:16,365 --> 00:19:19,195
Eat my fist,
you prehistoric bitch!
430
00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,374
Waaaah! Oof! (GROANS)
431
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:24,582
So, which one of us
gets to kill him?
432
00:19:24,664 --> 00:19:25,794
Wait a...
Whoa, what?
433
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:28,665
Ahh, I'm just kiddin'.
Proud of me, Daddy?
434
00:19:28,751 --> 00:19:30,421
Aw, honey, you bet I am.
435
00:19:31,296 --> 00:19:32,376
Oh, great.
Another selfie.
436
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:36,303
No, no, no. What I want
is a picture of my daughter
437
00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:38,215
nabbing her
first super-villain.
438
00:19:38,303 --> 00:19:40,183
Aw... Okay.
439
00:19:40,264 --> 00:19:41,184
Smile!
Cheese!
440
00:19:41,264 --> 00:19:42,974
(CAMERA CLICKS)
Wait, can I see it?
441
00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,180
No, that's a good shot.
442
00:19:47,645 --> 00:19:51,645
Superhero super group Razr Dik
was resoundingly rejected
this week by music fans
443
00:19:51,733 --> 00:19:54,363
with their limp power ballad
Black Rainbows.
444
00:19:54,485 --> 00:19:56,565
Critics called the release
a sonic horror show,
445
00:19:56,654 --> 00:19:59,534
offensive on every level,
especially to rainbows.
446
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:03,236
Well, guys,
the dream is dead.
Razr Dik is no more.
447
00:20:03,244 --> 00:20:03,414
Well, guys,
the dream is dead.
Razr Dik is no more.
And topping
this week's charts,
448
00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:05,122
And topping
this week's charts,
449
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:06,374
the Orthodox Men's Choir,
450
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:09,036
with their hit
Dangerous Like a Unicorn.
451
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,285
Son of a bitch.
452
00:20:11,836 --> 00:20:15,166
Well, it looks like you do
have a new name, Robodino.
453
00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,297
Prisoner 982.
454
00:20:17,383 --> 00:20:18,593
I like it.
I'll take it.
455
00:20:19,428 --> 00:20:21,348
Lex, you really made me
proud today.
456
00:20:21,429 --> 00:20:23,769
I never would've learned
to fly without you, Dad.
457
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,178
No, no, no, no.
That was all you, sweetie.
458
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,694
Well, I should probably
be taking off.
459
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,150
I, I don't want to impose.
460
00:20:30,229 --> 00:20:34,399
Oh, about that. We talked,
and we all decided
you should stay a while.
461
00:20:34,525 --> 00:20:35,895
No one asked me!
462
00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:37,613
(DOOR SLAMS)
Holy "S"!
463
00:20:37,695 --> 00:20:39,315
And be a member
of the League of Freedom?
464
00:20:39,406 --> 00:20:41,316
Well, it's not that easy,
honey.
465
00:20:41,407 --> 00:20:43,577
There's a lot of hoops
to jump through.
466
00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:46,410
But I can make you an intern.
Unpaid, of course.
467
00:20:46,537 --> 00:20:47,617
Oooh!
468
00:20:48,206 --> 00:20:50,376
Rex, I have the results
of the paternity test.
469
00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:52,249
No, no, no.
Not necessary, Jewbot.
470
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:52,421
No, no, no.
Not necessary, Jewbot.
It doesn't matter what
a piece of paper says.
471
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,749
It doesn't matter what
a piece of paper says.
472
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,797
This girl is my daughter.
473
00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:57,881
(GASPS)
474
00:20:59,342 --> 00:21:00,642
(REX MUMBLING)
475
00:21:00,718 --> 00:21:01,928
Yeah, Lex is your child.
476
00:21:02,011 --> 00:21:05,521
Aha! I knew it!
I love you, honey.
477
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,848
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
478
00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,581
(MONKEY CHATTERS)
MAN: Stoopid monkey.
39157
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