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1
00:00:03,742 --> 00:00:04,806
[emotional]
That's when it hit me
2
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:06,832
like a ton of bricks...
3
00:00:06,876 --> 00:00:08,704
bricks might be hard,
4
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:11,054
but growin' up is harder.
5
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:13,709
Like a super-hard brick.
6
00:00:13,752 --> 00:00:15,015
[upbeat]
Thank you!
7
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:16,581
[applause]
8
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:18,148
What's wrong with me?
9
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,585
I should have put bricks
in my story.
10
00:00:20,629 --> 00:00:22,109
Klaus, relax.
11
00:00:22,152 --> 00:00:24,241
Your story has nothing to do
with bricks.
12
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:26,069
- It's about a brick layer!
- It is?
13
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:29,855
Next on stage... Klaus Heisler!
14
00:00:29,899 --> 00:00:35,078
[applause]
15
00:00:35,122 --> 00:00:37,211
[person sneezes]
16
00:00:37,254 --> 00:00:40,736
When I was 10,
all I wanted to be
17
00:00:40,779 --> 00:00:44,044
was a wall-building guy
like my grandpa.
18
00:00:44,087 --> 00:00:46,742
He would stack these...
19
00:00:46,785 --> 00:00:50,746
eh, y-you know, they...
they go on each other,
20
00:00:50,789 --> 00:00:53,357
but never right on top?
21
00:00:53,401 --> 00:00:56,708
They'd be like this and this
and then here and here...
22
00:00:56,752 --> 00:01:00,364
ROGER: Why are you
telling stories?
23
00:01:00,408 --> 00:01:02,105
Mm.
24
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:04,803
Eh, t-this is
a storytelling event.
25
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:06,327
Are you Mother Goose?
26
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:07,719
Okay, I'm going to continue.
27
00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:09,634
Continue boring everyone?
28
00:01:09,678 --> 00:01:11,941
Eh, n-no one's bored.
29
00:01:11,984 --> 00:01:13,136
MAN:
I'm actually pretty bored.
30
00:01:13,160 --> 00:01:15,075
Then get the [bleep] out!
31
00:01:15,118 --> 00:01:17,294
Sir, the bathrooms
are located in the back.
32
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,340
Why are you taking a dump
on stage?
33
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,951
[laughter]
34
00:01:21,994 --> 00:01:24,040
MAN: Not bored anymore!
35
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,956
♪
36
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:30,002
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
37
00:01:30,046 --> 00:01:33,702
♪ I got a feelin' that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
38
00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:36,835
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
39
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:40,796
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
40
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:42,885
♪
41
00:01:42,928 --> 00:01:46,062
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
42
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,369
- ♪ Good... ♪
- ♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
43
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:49,935
Aah!
44
00:01:49,979 --> 00:01:51,459
♪
45
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:54,070
WOMEN:
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
46
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,899
♪
47
00:01:56,942 --> 00:01:59,162
Ugh, nothing but junk mail.
48
00:01:59,206 --> 00:02:02,078
Letter from Francine's mom,
biopsy results,
49
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,819
cease and desist...
ooh, it came!
50
00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:06,909
It came! It came!
51
00:02:06,952 --> 00:02:09,651
Francine, a reply
from the Bazooka Sharks!
52
00:02:09,694 --> 00:02:11,696
Don't move!
I'm headin' your way!
53
00:02:11,740 --> 00:02:13,568
- Eee!
- What's this now?
54
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:17,572
Your father and I wrote a letter
to Bazooka Sharks' management
55
00:02:17,615 --> 00:02:20,009
outlining our concerns
and suggestions
56
00:02:20,052 --> 00:02:21,576
for the future of the franchise.
57
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:24,187
[panting] Okay.
Moment of truth.
58
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,189
[whispering]
I love you, baby.
59
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,930
[normal voice]
"Dear Sharks fans,
60
00:02:27,973 --> 00:02:29,932
thank you for your interest
in the team."
61
00:02:29,975 --> 00:02:32,195
Hell yeah!
Great start.
62
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:35,111
"We appreciate your passion
and continued support,
63
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,505
and hope for a better result
next season."
64
00:02:37,548 --> 00:02:38,680
Go on.
65
00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:42,162
That's... That's it.
66
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:51,867
[glasses crunch]
67
00:02:51,910 --> 00:02:53,999
[bird caws]
68
00:02:57,002 --> 00:02:58,830
Are you guys okay?
69
00:02:58,874 --> 00:03:01,790
I know you can go a little
cuckoo over your beloved Sharks.
70
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,357
[bird caws]
71
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,750
Okay. Good.
72
00:03:05,794 --> 00:03:08,100
Just... checking.
73
00:03:08,144 --> 00:03:09,580
Good morning, everybody.
74
00:03:09,624 --> 00:03:11,887
Well, look who it is...
Mother Goose.
75
00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,628
Get your cocoa and blankies,
everyone.
76
00:03:13,671 --> 00:03:15,282
It's story time.
77
00:03:15,325 --> 00:03:18,067
Ooh, my blankie's in the dryer!
78
00:03:18,110 --> 00:03:20,243
Oh, you want a story?
Here's one.
79
00:03:20,287 --> 00:03:22,463
It's about an insignificant
grey douchebag
80
00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:24,813
who ruins his friend's
storytelling event.
81
00:03:24,856 --> 00:03:27,032
Roommate's storytelling event.
82
00:03:27,076 --> 00:03:29,296
Face it, Roger.
You're just a hater.
83
00:03:29,339 --> 00:03:31,602
You have no real talent.
84
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:33,909
Sure, you know how to tear down,
85
00:03:33,952 --> 00:03:35,737
but you can't create.
86
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,434
Uh, I can create.
87
00:03:37,478 --> 00:03:38,696
My personas?
88
00:03:38,740 --> 00:03:40,307
[scoffs] Masks.
89
00:03:40,350 --> 00:03:42,961
- Costumes.
- Wow.
90
00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:46,226
You don't have the balls to
put yourself out there like me,
91
00:03:46,269 --> 00:03:48,053
to risk ridicule contributing
92
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:50,360
something meaningful
to the world.
93
00:03:50,404 --> 00:03:52,319
[whispering]
This is a brutal takedown.
94
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:55,017
Deep down, you are a coward.
95
00:03:55,060 --> 00:03:58,020
[glass shattering]
96
00:03:58,063 --> 00:03:59,891
Wha... Y-Y... Y...
97
00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,719
Th... That's not...
98
00:04:01,763 --> 00:04:04,069
Guys?
99
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:10,075
Room for one more?
100
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:14,471
♪
101
00:04:15,864 --> 00:04:17,474
This letter sucked.
102
00:04:17,518 --> 00:04:19,998
It didn't address
a single one of our points.
103
00:04:20,042 --> 00:04:22,087
And we had a lot of good ones.
104
00:04:22,131 --> 00:04:24,307
It's like they're obsessed
with the forward pass.
105
00:04:24,351 --> 00:04:26,004
Why?
It's so risky.
106
00:04:26,048 --> 00:04:28,398
Whatever happened
to establishing the run?
107
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,791
To smashmouth football?
108
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:32,228
To ground and pound, baby!
109
00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:34,317
I'll tell you what happened...
analytics.
110
00:04:34,361 --> 00:04:35,405
Moneyball.
111
00:04:35,449 --> 00:04:36,885
Nerds.
112
00:04:36,928 --> 00:04:38,974
[spits]
We don't need eggheads.
113
00:04:39,017 --> 00:04:40,758
We need leatherheads, Stan.
114
00:04:40,802 --> 00:04:42,412
I know that, my queen,
115
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,327
but the bean counters
runnin' the show don't.
116
00:04:44,371 --> 00:04:46,721
Well, maybe we need to
make them understand.
117
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,026
Ground and pound them.
118
00:04:48,070 --> 00:04:49,593
Oh, yeah!
Let's smash 'em!
119
00:04:49,637 --> 00:04:51,856
Yeah!
Kill 'em?
120
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:54,032
No.
Smash their corporate offices.
121
00:04:54,076 --> 00:04:55,295
Okay!
122
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:57,819
How?
123
00:04:57,862 --> 00:05:00,169
My friend Nerfer's got
an armor-plated bulldozer!
124
00:05:00,212 --> 00:05:01,344
- Oh...
- Oh, yeah!
125
00:05:01,388 --> 00:05:05,174
...yeaaaaaaaa-agh!
126
00:05:05,217 --> 00:05:07,785
♪
127
00:05:07,829 --> 00:05:09,961
It's been a while
since we've done this, Klaus...
128
00:05:10,005 --> 00:05:12,312
watched TV together
in total silence.
129
00:05:12,355 --> 00:05:13,661
It's nice.
130
00:05:13,704 --> 00:05:15,532
Klaus, about yesterday...
131
00:05:15,576 --> 00:05:17,012
No, let me go first.
132
00:05:17,055 --> 00:05:19,101
You were a huge dick
at my reading,
133
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:21,364
but I was very hard on you.
134
00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,366
- It's okay.
- No, no, please.
135
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,282
I owe you an apology.
136
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,763
But I'm only going to give you
the apologetic tone..
137
00:05:28,806 --> 00:05:30,852
because I'm not sorry.
138
00:05:30,895 --> 00:05:34,029
Thank you for the tone.
It's more than I deserve.
139
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:36,031
I thought about it,
and you were right.
140
00:05:36,074 --> 00:05:38,381
You have the courage
to put yourself out there
141
00:05:38,425 --> 00:05:40,644
in a way I never do.
142
00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,820
- Here.
- W-What is it?
143
00:05:42,864 --> 00:05:44,518
Ugh! It's me putting myself
out there.
144
00:05:44,561 --> 00:05:45,736
Just open it.
God!
145
00:05:45,780 --> 00:05:47,259
[door opens and closes]
146
00:05:49,436 --> 00:05:51,786
It's... beautiful.
147
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:54,266
- Steve, look.
- It is good.
148
00:05:54,310 --> 00:05:58,445
But is it better than
being quiet and watching TV?
149
00:05:58,488 --> 00:06:00,272
I don't know.
150
00:06:00,316 --> 00:06:03,537
[Killdozer rattling
and squeaking]
151
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:07,105
What's good, my man?
152
00:06:07,149 --> 00:06:09,325
Oh, say, where can we find
the corporate offices?
153
00:06:09,369 --> 00:06:11,283
Do you want to do something bad
to them?
154
00:06:11,327 --> 00:06:13,155
With your Killdozer?
155
00:06:13,198 --> 00:06:14,286
Once sec.
156
00:06:14,330 --> 00:06:17,507
[indistinct whispering]
157
00:06:17,551 --> 00:06:18,552
- No?
- In that case,
158
00:06:18,595 --> 00:06:19,988
here's the address.
159
00:06:22,207 --> 00:06:24,079
Their offices
are in South Dakota.
160
00:06:24,122 --> 00:06:25,776
Oof.
That's a schlep.
161
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,257
- Big time.
- You wanna call off the rampage?
162
00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:31,391
Does this answer your question?!
163
00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,741
Killdozer rampage still on!
164
00:06:33,784 --> 00:06:36,178
- Yea-ha-ha! Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
165
00:06:36,221 --> 00:06:38,310
[all cheering]
166
00:06:38,354 --> 00:06:40,835
Yeah!
167
00:06:40,878 --> 00:06:43,228
♪
168
00:06:43,272 --> 00:06:45,361
R-Roger?
169
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,232
ROGER: In the back!
Through my secret door!
170
00:06:49,974 --> 00:06:52,150
Wow.
What is this place?
171
00:06:52,194 --> 00:06:54,414
In the '40s,
it was a button factory.
172
00:06:54,457 --> 00:06:56,633
Now? My art studio.
173
00:06:56,677 --> 00:06:58,766
You made this?
174
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,464
I had no idea.
You're an artist.
175
00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:03,031
Well, I don't know
about "artist."
176
00:07:03,074 --> 00:07:04,467
I'm... I'm just dabblin'.
177
00:07:04,511 --> 00:07:06,077
-Goofin', really.
-Goofin'?
178
00:07:06,121 --> 00:07:08,428
I-It's incredible.
179
00:07:08,471 --> 00:07:11,692
The weathered gills,
the pain in the eyes.
180
00:07:11,735 --> 00:07:13,650
It's a window to my soul.
181
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:15,739
Phew.
That's what I was going for.
182
00:07:15,783 --> 00:07:18,612
Is that a painting of me?
183
00:07:18,655 --> 00:07:20,701
They're all you, Klaus.
184
00:07:20,744 --> 00:07:23,399
You are... my muse.
185
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,879
Oh, shit.
186
00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,969
♪
187
00:07:28,012 --> 00:07:29,772
- Family announcement!
- Family announcement!
188
00:07:29,797 --> 00:07:31,363
- Where is everyone?
- I don't know.
189
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:33,801
Something about establishing
the run. What's up?
190
00:07:33,844 --> 00:07:36,412
Roger's an artist,
and I'm his muse!
191
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,633
- Oh. Mazel tov.
- [sighs]
192
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:43,593
Well, the important thing is
the world needs to see your art.
193
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:45,421
You're doing a gallery opening.
194
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,641
Ha! As if.
195
00:07:47,684 --> 00:07:49,773
Who'd be interested in
my silly little scribbles?
196
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,514
Prolly no one.
197
00:07:51,558 --> 00:07:53,951
I sold all my art!
198
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,432
A toast... to everyone who made
199
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,087
my first gallery opening
a success.
200
00:07:59,130 --> 00:08:01,132
Of course, Hovek...
beautiful Hovek...
201
00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,395
for providing
such a dynamic space.
202
00:08:03,439 --> 00:08:05,615
Carl, a man I met
just moments ago...
203
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,182
Um, hello?
204
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,314
Aren't you gonna mention
your muse?
205
00:08:09,358 --> 00:08:11,534
Klaus, zip it.
Go back to the muse table.
206
00:08:11,578 --> 00:08:13,754
Um, there's no muse table.
207
00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,886
What? But artists
need to quaff wine
208
00:08:15,930 --> 00:08:17,279
and belly laugh together,
209
00:08:17,322 --> 00:08:19,716
far from the din
of their simpering muses.
210
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,892
- Have one set up.
- Me?
211
00:08:21,936 --> 00:08:22,632
- Just get it done!
- [glass shattering]
212
00:08:22,676 --> 00:08:24,329
[laughter]
213
00:08:24,373 --> 00:08:27,158
Look at him,
sucking the marrow out of life.
214
00:08:27,202 --> 00:08:28,769
And I'm sitting here
like a schmuck.
215
00:08:28,812 --> 00:08:30,292
Why would he treat me like this?
216
00:08:30,335 --> 00:08:33,643
Oh, listen to you.
217
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:35,863
Isn't it enough to be
a part of something artistic,
218
00:08:35,906 --> 00:08:37,821
something meaningful?
219
00:08:37,865 --> 00:08:40,607
Wow.
You're right.
220
00:08:40,650 --> 00:08:42,173
I should be thanking Roger...
221
00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,566
ROGER: Hey!
222
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:46,134
Why am I hearing the muse table?
223
00:08:46,177 --> 00:08:49,703
I'm trying to tell
a ribald anecdote over here!
224
00:08:49,746 --> 00:08:51,400
Sorry. [chuckles]
Now, how far did I get?
225
00:08:51,443 --> 00:08:52,967
We got the priest,
226
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,205
we got the urinating up
and down the back,
227
00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,578
we got my great joke...
228
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,275
"Christening?
More like pissening."
229
00:08:57,319 --> 00:08:59,103
[chuckles]
Maybe that's it.
230
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:00,583
Maybe that's the whole thing.
231
00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:02,672
Another home-run story
in the books.
232
00:09:02,716 --> 00:09:04,456
[horns honking]
233
00:09:04,500 --> 00:09:06,110
[tires screeching]
234
00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:08,373
We are rampagin'.
235
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:12,203
Hayley, toss me another
5-Hour Energy.
236
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:14,162
My rage is dipping.
237
00:09:14,205 --> 00:09:15,966
Maybe it would help
if I read the letter again?
238
00:09:15,990 --> 00:09:18,601
- Yes.
- Great idea.
239
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:19,665
- "Dear Sharks fans..."
- Ooh!
240
00:09:19,689 --> 00:09:21,648
Those motherfu...
241
00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:25,303
[birds chirping]
242
00:09:25,347 --> 00:09:27,654
We must rise and attack the day,
my friend.
243
00:09:27,697 --> 00:09:29,960
The world wants our art.
244
00:09:30,004 --> 00:09:32,180
You're the dumbest person
of all time.
245
00:09:32,223 --> 00:09:34,399
What?
We sold every painting.
246
00:09:34,443 --> 00:09:36,619
And now I have to come up
with new paintings.
247
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,708
Uh, Earth to tortured artist.
248
00:09:38,752 --> 00:09:42,407
It's your muse talking,
ready to inspire.
249
00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:45,062
But not ready to cook me
breakfast, apparently.
250
00:09:45,106 --> 00:09:47,021
I have access to Fig Newtons.
251
00:09:48,718 --> 00:09:50,328
Fig Newtons are good.
252
00:09:50,372 --> 00:09:51,895
I forget that sometimes.
253
00:09:51,939 --> 00:09:53,462
Well, you have
a lot on your mind.
254
00:09:53,505 --> 00:09:55,203
Eh, not really.
But let's work.
255
00:09:58,380 --> 00:09:59,773
Sorry, I just need a sec.
256
00:09:59,816 --> 00:10:01,339
Hold that pose, though.
It's perfect.
257
00:10:03,385 --> 00:10:06,083
[engine starts]
258
00:10:06,127 --> 00:10:07,713
- KLAUS: What the hell?
- [tires screeching]
259
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,521
[cellphone chimes]
260
00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:11,262
Had to run out
and get some more Newtons.
261
00:10:11,306 --> 00:10:13,351
BRB.
Do not move.
262
00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:16,354
Ugh!
The life of a muse.
263
00:10:18,618 --> 00:10:20,271
This is [bleep] ridiculous.
264
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,273
What do you think of this dance?
265
00:10:22,317 --> 00:10:23,187
Ba-da.
266
00:10:23,231 --> 00:10:24,536
Ba-da-da-da-ba.
267
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:26,495
- Kick the salad.
- KLAUS: Roger!
268
00:10:26,538 --> 00:10:28,105
BOTH: What the hell
are you doing here?!
269
00:10:28,149 --> 00:10:29,498
What am I doing here?
270
00:10:29,541 --> 00:10:32,501
You kept me in that damn chair
for six hours!
271
00:10:32,544 --> 00:10:35,199
Paramours, take five
while I deal with this guy.
272
00:10:35,939 --> 00:10:37,593
"This guy"?
273
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,509
I'm your muse!
Your inspiration!
274
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:41,815
And what do you do?
275
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:44,121
You abuse me,
treat me like a dog.
276
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:45,732
We were supposed to work,
damn it!
277
00:10:45,775 --> 00:10:47,187
ROGER: Is this what
you want, Klaus?!
278
00:10:47,211 --> 00:10:49,300
[grunting]
279
00:10:49,344 --> 00:10:50,432
Is this what you want?!
280
00:10:50,475 --> 00:10:52,129
It is what I want.
281
00:10:52,173 --> 00:10:54,131
That's why I just gave you
all the money.
282
00:10:54,175 --> 00:10:55,916
Stop yelling at me.
283
00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:57,918
Uh, sorry!
That's my fault.
284
00:10:57,961 --> 00:10:59,702
I made him mad
back at the bistro.
285
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:01,443
Forget about the bistro.
286
00:11:01,486 --> 00:11:04,402
Let's take a beach stroll,
maybe have a beefstro.
287
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:06,187
That's what I call
beef stroganoff.
288
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:11,671
- Seagull.
- Majestic birds.
289
00:11:11,714 --> 00:11:13,716
Not the most majestic,
though, Klaus.
290
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:15,326
I-I wasn't suggesting...
291
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:17,807
It's fine. It's fine.
Just... Just be careful.
292
00:11:17,851 --> 00:11:18,678
Eat your stroge.
293
00:11:18,721 --> 00:11:20,854
[seagulls crying]
294
00:11:20,897 --> 00:11:23,073
You changed my life, Roger.
295
00:11:23,117 --> 00:11:24,945
And you, mine, Klaus.
296
00:11:24,988 --> 00:11:27,338
Your brutal takedown
was the nudge I needed
297
00:11:27,382 --> 00:11:29,340
to finally put myself out there.
298
00:11:29,384 --> 00:11:32,213
Your paintings...
they move people.
299
00:11:32,256 --> 00:11:33,562
Our paintings.
300
00:11:33,605 --> 00:11:35,172
Thank you.
301
00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:38,654
I'm finally a part
of something meaningful.
302
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,787
You saw the real me.
303
00:11:40,830 --> 00:11:42,527
That I did do.
304
00:11:42,571 --> 00:11:44,442
I guess I feel
a little less lonely
305
00:11:44,486 --> 00:11:46,444
on this big orb they call Earth.
306
00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:48,316
Who calls it that?
307
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,752
E-Everyone?
308
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,841
Huh.
I call it Gaia.
309
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:55,540
But I'm a special person.
An artist.
310
00:11:55,584 --> 00:11:58,369
I-I was hoping we could
also talk process.
311
00:11:58,413 --> 00:12:00,458
I was thinking maybe
there's a way
312
00:12:00,502 --> 00:12:03,157
for me to feel less like shit
at the end of every day.
313
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,116
There is, and that's actually
why I brought you out here...
314
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:08,205
to tell you you're fired.
315
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,598
- You're fired.
- What?
316
00:12:09,641 --> 00:12:11,687
- Why?
- Let's go alphabetically.
317
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,515
"A" is for albatross.
318
00:12:13,558 --> 00:12:15,169
You're an albatross
around my neck.
319
00:12:15,212 --> 00:12:17,345
"B" is for bore.
You bore me.
320
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:18,346
That's an easy one.
321
00:12:18,389 --> 00:12:20,174
"P" for puke-inducing,
322
00:12:20,217 --> 00:12:23,481
"Q" for quick-to-make-me-barf,
"R" for rascal.
323
00:12:23,525 --> 00:12:25,633
Well, that's... that's the one
thing I do like about you.
324
00:12:25,657 --> 00:12:27,137
You're kind of a rascal.
325
00:12:29,923 --> 00:12:31,576
You fired Klaus?!
326
00:12:31,620 --> 00:12:32,795
Yeah, but not for reals.
327
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,231
Just to break his heart.
328
00:12:34,275 --> 00:12:35,295
It's all part of my process.
329
00:12:35,319 --> 00:12:36,799
Your process?
330
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,627
Yeah, I torture Klaus,
crush his spirit,
331
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:40,194
and then paint his sad face.
332
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:41,586
Rinse, repeat.
333
00:12:41,630 --> 00:12:43,240
How long have you been
doing this?
334
00:12:43,284 --> 00:12:45,112
Oh, gosh. Years?
335
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:46,591
Probably since day one, yeah.
336
00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:49,464
You've been... torturing me?
337
00:12:49,507 --> 00:12:52,641
Ruining my life for paintings?!
338
00:12:52,684 --> 00:12:55,470
And sculpture and mixed media.
339
00:12:55,513 --> 00:12:57,211
Stop motion's on the horizon.
340
00:12:57,254 --> 00:12:58,690
Perhaps a line of puppets?
341
00:12:58,734 --> 00:13:00,475
Why would you do this?
342
00:13:00,518 --> 00:13:02,607
For my art, dummy!
343
00:13:02,651 --> 00:13:05,262
It comes only from pain...
your pain.
344
00:13:05,306 --> 00:13:07,177
I can't take this
anymore. [sobs]
345
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:10,528
I hope I never see you again!
346
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:12,052
[sobbing]
347
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:13,270
Wait, Klaus!
348
00:13:13,314 --> 00:13:15,098
[sniffling] Yes?
349
00:13:15,142 --> 00:13:16,621
- [camera shutter clicks]
- Wow.
350
00:13:16,665 --> 00:13:18,754
That's gonna make
an amazing puppet.
351
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,625
[sobbing]
352
00:13:21,017 --> 00:13:23,498
♪
353
00:13:23,541 --> 00:13:26,196
Look, no one's saying
me or my work has suffered
354
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:28,546
from not having a muse,
but the times,
355
00:13:28,590 --> 00:13:31,071
they are a-changing...
Oswaldo,
356
00:13:31,114 --> 00:13:33,377
and they require
an experienced muse.
357
00:13:33,421 --> 00:13:35,031
I have never done this before.
358
00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:36,946
Ugh.
Go ahead and get naked, Oswaldo.
359
00:13:36,990 --> 00:13:39,122
Right here?
In Coffee Bean?
360
00:13:39,166 --> 00:13:40,994
It's fine.
I'm an artist.
361
00:13:43,431 --> 00:13:45,520
Unfortunately, I won't be able
to pay you to start.
362
00:13:45,563 --> 00:13:47,087
Business is slow.
363
00:13:47,130 --> 00:13:49,002
You can thank my old muse
for that.
364
00:13:49,045 --> 00:13:51,395
- OSWALDO: What did he do?
- Ruined my art.
365
00:13:51,439 --> 00:13:52,919
Destroyed my life.
366
00:13:52,962 --> 00:13:56,270
[inhales]
Toxic guy, Oswaldo.
367
00:13:56,313 --> 00:13:58,881
My only solace is knowing
wherever he is now,
368
00:13:58,925 --> 00:14:01,231
he's miserable, too.
369
00:14:01,275 --> 00:14:04,626
Let's go, people!
Get 'em while they're hot.
370
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,671
Gluten-free for m'lady,
371
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:10,458
and chocolate-chip for
my man Brandon in the house!
372
00:14:10,501 --> 00:14:12,329
Yes!
373
00:14:12,373 --> 00:14:14,897
Where did you even come from,
Klaus Heisler?
374
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:16,986
Mwah!
Hey, when I get home,
375
00:14:17,030 --> 00:14:18,596
we're gonna tackle that algebra.
376
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,294
- Deal?
- Deal.
377
00:14:20,337 --> 00:14:23,253
♪
378
00:14:23,297 --> 00:14:25,734
How we lookin' on that Tuscan
Grilled Chicken, Shaneese?
379
00:14:25,777 --> 00:14:27,736
- It's close, boss.
- Love it.
380
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,259
Are we having fun?
381
00:14:29,303 --> 00:14:30,434
- Yes!
- Yes!
382
00:14:30,478 --> 00:14:31,871
And remember...
383
00:14:31,914 --> 00:14:34,351
ALL: It's only paninis!
384
00:14:37,964 --> 00:14:40,357
- [lid clanging]
- Mother Goose?
385
00:14:40,401 --> 00:14:43,360
Roger? Uh...
what are you doing here?
386
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:45,145
Me?
What about you?
387
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:47,451
Well, I work here,
at Panera Bread.
388
00:14:47,495 --> 00:14:49,062
I'm actually the manager.
389
00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:50,933
Still pursuing
your storytelling?
390
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:53,936
Nah. Between work
and Denise and Brandon,
391
00:14:53,980 --> 00:14:55,372
I don't have time.
392
00:14:55,416 --> 00:14:57,200
Whoa!
"Denise and Brandon"?
393
00:14:57,244 --> 00:14:58,767
Who am I talkin' to,
Ward Cleaver?
394
00:14:58,810 --> 00:15:00,464
[chuckling]
Right?
395
00:15:00,508 --> 00:15:03,206
All I need now is a basset hound
to bring me my slippers.
396
00:15:03,250 --> 00:15:07,471
[laughs]
Too funny.
397
00:15:07,515 --> 00:15:10,605
So, what are you up to
these days?
398
00:15:10,648 --> 00:15:12,694
Ah, still doin' my art thang,
so that's been good.
399
00:15:12,737 --> 00:15:14,174
Really jammin' on that.
400
00:15:14,217 --> 00:15:15,827
Also doing a lot more heroin
401
00:15:15,871 --> 00:15:16,741
than when we were
working together,
402
00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:19,048
which has been nice.
403
00:15:19,092 --> 00:15:20,702
Well, I better
get back in there.
404
00:15:20,745 --> 00:15:22,660
Yeah, no, I should probably
do this heroin.
405
00:15:22,704 --> 00:15:25,185
- It was good bumping into you.
- For sure, yeah.
406
00:15:25,228 --> 00:15:27,056
Hey, uh, if you ever
get that muse itch,
407
00:15:27,100 --> 00:15:28,492
swing by the studio.
408
00:15:28,536 --> 00:15:30,233
Yeah, I-I probably
won't be by...
409
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:31,974
Yeah, probably best.
410
00:15:32,018 --> 00:15:33,604
I don't want the studio
to smell like a Panera.
411
00:15:33,628 --> 00:15:34,672
Have a good life, Roger.
412
00:15:34,716 --> 00:15:35,978
Havin' one, my dude.
413
00:15:36,022 --> 00:15:37,675
[lid clangs]
414
00:15:37,719 --> 00:15:39,373
KLAUS:
♪ Oh, it's spaghetti night ♪
415
00:15:39,416 --> 00:15:41,462
♪ And the feeling's right ♪
416
00:15:41,505 --> 00:15:44,073
♪ Oh, it's spaghetti night,
oh, what a night ♪
417
00:15:44,117 --> 00:15:45,031
- [door bangs]
- [all scream]
418
00:15:45,074 --> 00:15:47,033
Klaus, I need you back!
419
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:48,773
Is this your friend
from the Dumpster?
420
00:15:48,817 --> 00:15:51,080
Brava, Denise.
421
00:15:51,124 --> 00:15:53,343
You've got it all figured out,
don't ya?
422
00:15:53,387 --> 00:15:56,520
Well, did you know I was gonna
bring this plastic sword?!
423
00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:58,914
[grunting]
424
00:15:58,958 --> 00:15:59,784
I'm calling the police.
425
00:15:59,828 --> 00:16:01,525
Pastor Mike did say
426
00:16:01,569 --> 00:16:05,007
to look for opportunities
to bear witness.
427
00:16:05,051 --> 00:16:07,140
Roger, why don't you join us?
428
00:16:07,183 --> 00:16:09,403
Mmm. Oh.
Oh, I bet you'd like that.
429
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,187
Ah. You'd just love
to see me choke
430
00:16:11,231 --> 00:16:13,276
on Denise's shitty meatballs.
431
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:14,756
This guy hates me.
432
00:16:14,799 --> 00:16:16,888
Not true.
I want to thank you.
433
00:16:16,932 --> 00:16:18,716
You set me free.
434
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,545
Oh... Oh, free to get your balls
cut off by Denise here?
435
00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:25,506
I'm aware of you, Denise,
just as you are of me.
436
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:28,422
My whole life,
I thought I was a miserable guy.
437
00:16:28,465 --> 00:16:31,425
Worse, I thought I brought it
all on myself.
438
00:16:31,468 --> 00:16:33,949
Turns out, it was you.
439
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:35,342
What's your point, Aesop?
440
00:16:35,385 --> 00:16:37,170
Aesop tells fables, Denise.
441
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:39,781
I never had a chance
to be happy.
442
00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:42,349
You were sabotaging me!
443
00:16:42,392 --> 00:16:45,830
Can we just cut the bull
and get back to work, Klaus?
444
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:48,877
Don't you see?
I'm finally happy.
445
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,270
What about "meaning"?
446
00:16:50,313 --> 00:16:52,228
This guy is so horny
for meaning.
447
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:56,058
I found meaning,
with these two whackadoos,
448
00:16:56,102 --> 00:16:58,800
and all the lives I touch
at Panera.
449
00:16:58,843 --> 00:17:02,064
Enough! I can't stand to look
at you one second more.
450
00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:06,112
So, with my dignity intact,
I will now take my leave.
451
00:17:06,155 --> 00:17:07,548
Forever! Ah!
452
00:17:07,591 --> 00:17:09,245
Oh, God! Oh, no!
453
00:17:09,289 --> 00:17:12,074
Oh, I'm doing both kinds
of bathroom!
454
00:17:12,118 --> 00:17:13,945
Denise, what kind of flooring
we dealin' with?
455
00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,904
If it's linoleum,
bring the hose in here.
456
00:17:15,947 --> 00:17:18,080
In the meantime,
gather anything absorbent...
457
00:17:18,124 --> 00:17:20,691
beach towels, bath towels,
shop rags.
458
00:17:20,735 --> 00:17:23,912
Oh, if you have a shop,
sawdust would be a godsend.
459
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:26,480
That's perfect world.
I could make cotton balls work.
460
00:17:26,523 --> 00:17:29,483
Now, we do need someone to
take the lead on ventilation...
461
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:31,702
opening doors, windows,
gathering fans.
462
00:17:31,746 --> 00:17:33,661
- I can do that.
- ROGER: Wow, Brandon.
463
00:17:33,704 --> 00:17:35,010
Way to step up.
464
00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,664
Everybody look at Brandon.
465
00:17:36,707 --> 00:17:40,059
♪
466
00:17:40,102 --> 00:17:41,103
There it is!
467
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:42,757
HAYLEY: Ramming speed!
468
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:45,194
[all shouting]
469
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:48,067
[Killdozer clanging
and screeching]
470
00:17:50,417 --> 00:17:52,767
The Sharks won the Megabowl?
471
00:17:52,810 --> 00:17:55,248
Yeah.
Hey, you're Stan Smith.
472
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,858
Uh, m-may... maybe not.
473
00:17:56,901 --> 00:17:59,034
You're famous here!
474
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,438
We took another look
at your letter
475
00:18:00,470 --> 00:18:02,429
and realized you were right.
476
00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:05,867
Smashmouth football was the key
to our undefeated season.
477
00:18:05,910 --> 00:18:07,651
You listened to us?
478
00:18:07,695 --> 00:18:10,567
So... rampage over?
479
00:18:10,611 --> 00:18:13,483
But... no rampage.
480
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:16,269
But Killdozer need to eat.
481
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:18,009
Welp, I'll leave you to it,
then.
482
00:18:18,053 --> 00:18:20,360
Go, Sharks!
483
00:18:20,403 --> 00:18:22,144
ALL [weakly]: Go, Sharks.
484
00:18:22,188 --> 00:18:26,061
♪
485
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,368
Wow, honey.
Check out Roger.
486
00:18:28,411 --> 00:18:29,867
You were skeptical
when he reached out,
487
00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:31,675
but he looks like a new man.
488
00:18:31,719 --> 00:18:33,547
Thank you all for coming.
489
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:36,463
First, I'd like to give
a shout-out to my sponsor, Mark.
490
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:40,684
30 days sober
thanks to that amazing human.
491
00:18:40,728 --> 00:18:43,252
I'd also like to acknowledge
Klaus Heisler over there.
492
00:18:43,296 --> 00:18:46,429
Klaus was my muse,
but I hurt him.
493
00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:49,519
I thought great art
came only from pain,
494
00:18:49,563 --> 00:18:52,261
but beauty isn't born
from misery alone.
495
00:18:52,305 --> 00:18:55,177
There's also
the wellspring of joy.
496
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:57,005
You taught me that, Klaus.
497
00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,834
You continue to inspire me.
498
00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,009
Thank you.
499
00:19:01,052 --> 00:19:04,491
[applause]
500
00:19:04,534 --> 00:19:06,580
And now, art.
501
00:19:06,623 --> 00:19:09,800
Feast your eyes
on my greatest masterpiece...
502
00:19:09,844 --> 00:19:12,238
Spaghetti Night!
503
00:19:12,281 --> 00:19:13,543
- [crowd murmuring]
- Woof.
504
00:19:13,587 --> 00:19:15,589
This one's a dog.
505
00:19:15,632 --> 00:19:17,895
Oh, wow!
Spaghetti Night!
506
00:19:17,939 --> 00:19:19,723
Pretty awesome, right?
507
00:19:19,767 --> 00:19:21,551
The eyes.
508
00:19:21,595 --> 00:19:23,901
- They're dead.
- They're meatballs!
509
00:19:23,945 --> 00:19:27,514
I think it's cool because
it's a statue of you... Dad.
510
00:19:27,557 --> 00:19:28,689
You're an imbecile, Brandon.
511
00:19:28,732 --> 00:19:30,560
Klaus!
512
00:19:30,604 --> 00:19:33,041
There's no depth, no pathos.
513
00:19:33,084 --> 00:19:34,956
It sucks!
514
00:19:34,999 --> 00:19:37,393
I'm not this corny-ass
Mr. Rogers.
515
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:40,614
Uh-oh. That's a quarter
for the swear jar, Klaus.
516
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:42,616
Here's 50 cents.
Go buy some new tits!
517
00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:44,226
Excuse me?!
518
00:19:44,270 --> 00:19:46,576
You did this to me!
We're finished!
519
00:19:46,620 --> 00:19:48,404
Brandon, why did you even
bring a football?!
520
00:19:48,448 --> 00:19:51,407
It's an art gallery!
I hate you!
521
00:19:51,451 --> 00:19:55,150
[sobbing]
I hate you!
522
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,413
I hate myself!
523
00:19:57,457 --> 00:19:59,807
[sobs]
524
00:19:59,850 --> 00:20:01,243
There he is!
525
00:20:01,287 --> 00:20:03,027
There's the Klaus I know
and love!
526
00:20:03,071 --> 00:20:04,203
I knew the misery
527
00:20:04,246 --> 00:20:05,595
was still inside you!
528
00:20:05,639 --> 00:20:07,380
You obviously didn't know when
529
00:20:07,423 --> 00:20:08,990
you squeezed out this turd.
530
00:20:09,033 --> 00:20:10,600
Oh, didn't I?
531
00:20:13,821 --> 00:20:16,432
[gasps] It's me.
532
00:20:16,476 --> 00:20:18,347
The real me.
533
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:19,783
Thank you, Roger.
534
00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:24,092
I am your muse, now and forever.
535
00:20:24,135 --> 00:20:26,486
Yes!
We're back, old friend!
536
00:20:26,529 --> 00:20:28,227
But about that...
we're not back.
537
00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,794
I've given up art
to follow my true passion...
538
00:20:30,838 --> 00:20:31,839
doing heroin.
539
00:20:31,882 --> 00:20:34,233
We're back, old friend!
540
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:37,453
Denise?
541
00:20:37,497 --> 00:20:39,063
Ah, she headed out.
542
00:20:40,282 --> 00:20:41,892
Dad, this was a great idea.
543
00:20:41,936 --> 00:20:43,242
Well, it would have been a shame
544
00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:45,113
making the thousand-mile
journey home
545
00:20:45,156 --> 00:20:46,636
without rampaging something.
546
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:49,944
Feast, Killdozer!
Feast!
547
00:20:52,468 --> 00:20:54,122
Why?
548
00:20:54,165 --> 00:20:55,732
Then again, why not?
549
00:20:57,081 --> 00:20:58,387
Have a great night!
550
00:20:58,437 --> 00:21:02,987
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