Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,440 --> 00:00:07,440
WOMAN: Douglas.
2
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,080
Douglas.
3
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:15,000
Douglas, I need to say something.
4
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,880
Douglas, I've been thinking about leaving.
5
00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:30,240
I think our marriage might be over.
6
00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,360
- When you say "leaving"...?
- Starting again.
7
00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,920
- A new life, but not together.
- So divorce?
8
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:44,120
That...that's not the most important thing
at the moment.
9
00:00:44,160 --> 00:00:46,680
Ah, so a trial separation?
10
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,000
Except not a trial.
11
00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,200
I mean breaking up.
12
00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:53,920
Don't say "breaking up".
16-year-olds break up.
13
00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,880
What you're saying is,
you'd rather be alone?
14
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:59,440
We're gonna be alone, Connie.
15
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:00,840
Yes, I know.
16
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,880
Well, tell me, tell me clearly.
17
00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:09,680
I just feel that things between us
might have run their course.
18
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:10,840
I don't agree.
19
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,240
Oh, well, if you don't agree...
20
00:01:13,560 --> 00:01:14,560
We don't talk!
21
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,120
We talk.
22
00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,920
About the boiler, about holidays and
insurance - we don't have conversations.
23
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:21,320
So what do you want to tell me?
24
00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,120
- It's not you.
- Oh, don't say, "It's not you, it's me."
25
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:27,920
- It's not me either, it's us.
- No, it's not "us",
26
00:01:27,960 --> 00:01:29,000
because I don't want to leave!
27
00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:30,240
I just feel...
28
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:32,680
Don't say, "I just feel, I just feel."
29
00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,680
- Say what you want.
- I want change.
30
00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:41,400
Right. OK, well...
31
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:43,520
...what can I do?
32
00:01:43,560 --> 00:01:44,680
What do you mean?
33
00:01:44,720 --> 00:01:48,200
Well, this is obviously, erm,
a catalyst thing,
34
00:01:48,240 --> 00:01:50,320
what-d'you-call-it, a wake-up call.
35
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:53,000
So what can I change about myself?
36
00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,080
- I don't want you to be someone else.
- Because I'm quite capable of change.
37
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:59,680
You're great! I just don't think
I can spend my whole life with you.
38
00:02:01,120 --> 00:02:02,720
(CONNIE SIGHS)
39
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:05,840
I'm sorry I'm not able to be
more articulate.
40
00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,400
No, no.
41
00:02:07,440 --> 00:02:08,880
That bit was quite clear.
42
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,520
CONNIE: All those years as a parent,
being called Mum
43
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:19,600
until it's like my name,
and then suddenly it stops.
44
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:25,880
I... I think of how empty
it's going to be, every evening,
45
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:29,080
for the rest of our lives,
just the two of us rattling around.
46
00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,320
Doesn't that frighten you?
47
00:02:30,360 --> 00:02:35,280
No! We wouldn't rattle, we'd do things,
we'd work, we'd travel...
48
00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,960
And then we'd come home.
49
00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:40,800
I have this word in my head - "box sets".
50
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,520
Every time I hear it,
I can feel my heart racing.
51
00:02:43,560 --> 00:02:44,920
(SIGHS)
52
00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:48,560
I don't know what it is yet...
53
00:02:49,640 --> 00:02:52,240
- ...but I need to find something else.
- Great.
54
00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,760
Then...let's find it together.
55
00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,280
- Have you only stayed because of Albie?
- No!
56
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:06,760
We've been through a lot.
57
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,000
I think we've been happy.
58
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:10,160
But now...
59
00:03:13,840 --> 00:03:15,840
...don't you ever think our work is done?
60
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:18,360
It was never work to me.
61
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:19,680
Well, it was for me...
62
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:21,960
...sometimes.
63
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:25,160
(BIRDSONG)
64
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:28,240
D'you think we could get
a little sleep now?
65
00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:30,600
I do feel quite relaxed.
66
00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:31,800
(CHUCKLES)
67
00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:34,880
Let's try.
68
00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:36,040
Hmm.
69
00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:40,280
(CONNIE SIGHS)
70
00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,640
(DOORBELL RINGS)
71
00:03:45,680 --> 00:03:47,720
(DOG BARKS)
72
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:49,480
Why do you always do this?
73
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,440
It's very hard to get a slot.
74
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,600
On a Sunday too.
75
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:55,000
If I'd known you were leaving me,
I'd have pushed it to nine.
76
00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,160
Do you want to accept the substitutes?
77
00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,640
I don't know, Connie, do you want to
accept the substitutes?
78
00:04:01,680 --> 00:04:03,160
I'm sure the substitutes are fine.
79
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,080
- Is there someone else?
- No! I told you...
80
00:04:13,240 --> 00:04:14,520
Oh, you check the eggs?
81
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,480
- No, I'm sure the eggs are fine...
- I'll check the eggs.
82
00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:21,480
Yes, the eggs are fine.
83
00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,800
So, er, who wants to do the honours?
84
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,120
Thanks.
85
00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,560
Brilliant. Erm, have...
Have a great weekend.
86
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,720
Of course, we're gonna have to cancel
the holiday.
87
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,680
- You think so?
- Well, we don't want it to be
88
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:26,920
the trip of a lifetime
for all the wrong reasons, do we?
89
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,000
No. I can see that...
90
00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:32,080
Three whole weeks is a long time
to fix a smile, don't you think?
91
00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:34,640
- I like mine darker.
- I know that.
92
00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:36,040
And of course we're gonna lose
all the deposits,
93
00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:38,640
which is hundreds of pounds.
Thousands, actually.
94
00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,760
- The train tickets, the hotel rooms...
- Isn't it all insured?
95
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,360
- Not against despair, no!
- Sh! Albie can hear you...
96
00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:46,440
- Clearly, I should have thought of that.
- I never said...
97
00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,160
If my wife feels suffocated
all of a sudden, are we covered?!
98
00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:52,120
Well, if you're so concerned
about the money...
99
00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:56,200
Oh, Connie, do you really believe
the money is my main concern here?
100
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,040
(TOAST RATTLES)
101
00:06:02,840 --> 00:06:03,920
(MUSIC SEEPS FROM HEADPHONES)
102
00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,040
(FOOTSTEPS APPROACH)
103
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,200
Afternoon!
104
00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:13,440
Please don't bring food in here,
it's like a petri dish.
105
00:06:15,280 --> 00:06:17,960
And open the window.
106
00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:20,160
Ah!
107
00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,240
Birds have been smoking
on the windowsill again, I see.
108
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:29,000
Swallows rolling
their own little cigarettes.
109
00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,120
You can't hear anything I say, can you?
110
00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:35,680
Little bit of news.
111
00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:38,360
Mum's leaving me.
112
00:06:40,120 --> 00:06:41,720
I'm going to the dump.
113
00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:43,800
Got anything for the dump?
114
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:45,880
No?
115
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,560
OK, fine, you stay there...
116
00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:52,880
...all day.
117
00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:14,600
What's up with him?
118
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,840
Nothing. Just fancied going to the dump -
his fortress of solitude.
119
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:34,840
(CLASSICAL MUSIC)
120
00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,240
Come on. Come on.
121
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,480
(MUSIC STOPS)
122
00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:13,400
That's better.
123
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,160
Better email those hotels,
124
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,760
- see what I can salvage...
- Douglas, let's go for a walk.
125
00:09:21,560 --> 00:09:22,880
Come on, come on.
126
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:30,600
Should one of us...
move out or check into a hotel?
127
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:32,040
That's what you're meant to do, isn't it?
128
00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:34,120
Do you want me to?
129
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:35,440
Well, I don't think that's necessary.
130
00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:36,720
Not while Albie's at home.
131
00:09:36,760 --> 00:09:39,040
- Can you stand it until the autumn?
- I think so.
132
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,320
Look here's the thing, though.
Bear with me.
133
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,000
I think we should still go.
134
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,240
- On holiday?
- For Albie's sake.
135
00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:47,360
We're going on holiday
136
00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:48,960
- for the sake of the kid?
- Why not?
137
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:51,280
You've done all that planning,
138
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:54,920
and it'd be good for you and Albie to
spend some time together,
139
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:57,520
be a nice memory,
before he goes to college.
140
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,160
DOUGLAS: And maybe if he flunks
his art exam,
141
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,680
we could have another year of marriage.
142
00:10:00,720 --> 00:10:03,480
But then maybe you can't flunk art.
What is there to get wrong?
143
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:04,760
CONNIE: You see,
this is exactly why you and I...
144
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:07,080
And when we come back,
you don't even have to unpack.
145
00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,240
You and Albie can just chuck
your suitcases into the taxi.
146
00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:20,560
Let's have this one last summer...
as a family.
147
00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:26,240
No. I'm sorry. I don't think I can.
148
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:47,520
(DISTORTED RINGING)
149
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:52,840
Douglas, you're late.
150
00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:54,360
I came straight from the lab!
151
00:10:54,400 --> 00:10:59,440
It looks like it. Cords and checks.
What is this shirt? Is it graph paper?
152
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:01,280
You look like something out of
Millets' catalogue.
153
00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,160
- You're gonna have to go home and change.
- If I go home, I won't come back.
154
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,960
Fine! Oh, who knits a tie?
155
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:10,280
Honestly, Douglas,
I love you but you're a liability.
156
00:11:10,320 --> 00:11:11,320
Come here.
157
00:11:13,520 --> 00:11:16,080
- Connie Moore.
- What?
158
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:18,240
- Connie Moore. Connie.
- Who's Connie?
159
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,240
That's who you're sitting next to.
160
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:24,720
She's newly single, she's smart,
she's funny, she's intelligent...
161
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:25,960
You promised you wouldn't do this again.
162
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:29,200
And the best thing is, she's not a snob
about how people look.
163
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:32,560
- No, no, I'm off.
- OK, too late!
164
00:11:32,600 --> 00:11:37,560
Everyone... Everyone!
This is my brother Douglas.
165
00:11:37,600 --> 00:11:38,640
GUESTS: Hey!
166
00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,240
Be nice to him, he's very shy.
167
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,280
- I'm not shy!
- Connie!
168
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:45,080
No. Can you just make room?
169
00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,680
- Hello.
- Hello!
170
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,880
(GUESTS APPLAUD)
171
00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:04,920
- So, you're a, er, scientist?
- Er, yeah, that's right.
172
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:09,360
- An evil scientist or mad scientist?
- I alternate.
173
00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:12,120
- Oh.
- (WHISPERS) I can't really talk about it.
174
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,000
(WHISPERS)
Oh, is it a military-industrial thing.
175
00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:17,640
Too dull. My sister's torn up my list.
176
00:12:17,680 --> 00:12:19,680
- List?
- Conversational gambits.
177
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:21,280
An actual written-down list?
178
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:25,040
In my head - where do you live,
how do you know Karen,
179
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,320
what do you do for a living?
180
00:12:26,360 --> 00:12:29,760
- Let's skip that part.
- Well, now you have to tell me.
181
00:12:29,800 --> 00:12:35,600
Well, it's not a living
but I trained as an artist.
182
00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,680
I still do it,
I just always feel stupid saying it.
183
00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,840
Oh, is that watercolours or oils or...
184
00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,560
Watercolours? It's a bit more complicated
than that, mate.
185
00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:50,560
- Jake's a kind of artist too.
- Yeah.
186
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,880
- Trapeze artist, yeah.
- In a circus?
187
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,200
How do you join a circus?
188
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,000
Is it...is it just
a question of running away to it or...?
189
00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,280
Well, I mean, do you...
do you want the long version or the..
190
00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:02,600
BOTH: Short version.
191
00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:03,960
Yeah.
192
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,960
- (LAUGHTER)
- DOUGLAS: The scientific name is
193
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,720
Drosophila melanogaster,
aka the common fruit fly.
194
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,200
Oh.
195
00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,040
Flies.
196
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:15,560
Want to move seats?
197
00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:17,200
No. Keep going.
198
00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,600
OK, er, well,
we're investigating mutagens.
199
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:24,760
So we're using chemical agents
to induce genetic mutation...
200
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:27,160
Why would you mutate a fruit fly?
That's not natural.
201
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:30,200
Well, there's nothing inherently
unnatural about mutation.
202
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:34,120
- It's just another word for evolution...
- It's...it's like fungicides, pesticides.
203
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:35,360
You know, it's...it's wicked.
204
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:39,160
(LAUGHS) I don't think a chemical
compound can be wicked in itself.
205
00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:42,080
It can be used irresponsibly or foolishly.
206
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,800
We've all lost touch with,
you know, our...our roots.
207
00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,520
Nobody knows what a carrot
tastes like any more.
208
00:13:48,560 --> 00:13:51,640
- Erm, sorry, I've lost track...
- Everything's chemical.
209
00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:53,480
Everything is a chemical.
210
00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,000
- Mm.
- Carrots are chemicals.
211
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:57,120
- Hmm.
- Karen's pasta bake
212
00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,760
- is a chemical...
- Er...
213
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:01,000
- You're chemical.
- Oh, I'm not.
214
00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:05,000
- You're 65% oxygen, 18% carbon...
- Don't try and limit me...
215
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:06,040
But it's literally true!
216
00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,760
But still, I think we'd all be
better off if scientists,
217
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:11,880
or you lot, stop mucking about
with all this stuff.
218
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:13,560
(DOUGLAS EXHALES)
219
00:14:13,600 --> 00:14:20,040
OK, let's say, one day,
you're up there, on your trapeze.
220
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:24,040
God forbid, something goes wrong
and you break your legs.
221
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,280
And you're in hospital
and you're in chronic pain
222
00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:32,880
and you pick up an infection
and the only solution is to amputate.
223
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:36,440
And let's say you refuse any kind of
so-called "chemical intervention",
224
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,480
that's antibiotics, pain relief,
anaesthetic.
225
00:14:40,640 --> 00:14:42,040
And let's say you die.
226
00:14:42,080 --> 00:14:46,040
You die in agony.
227
00:14:46,080 --> 00:14:50,480
And your family and friends are
rightly distraught,
228
00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:53,600
but, "Thank God," they'll say,
"he may be dead,
229
00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:58,200
"but thank God there was
no mucking about with stuff."
230
00:14:58,240 --> 00:14:59,520
(COUGHING)
231
00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:00,600
(CLEARING OF THROAT)
232
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:05,520
Let's sit soft.
233
00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,600
I wish I knew about science.
234
00:15:07,640 --> 00:15:09,120
I don't know why the sky is blue
235
00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:11,120
or the difference
between an atom and a molecule.
236
00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,680
My niece asked me
why the sea comes in and out,
237
00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,960
and I told her it was something
to do with magnets.
238
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,280
It is magnets, isn't it?
239
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:22,120
Or...gravity
acting on large bodies of water.
240
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:24,920
Er, are you...are you all right?
241
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,800
Yes, yeah, sorry. It's just, well...
242
00:15:30,040 --> 00:15:31,040
...chemicals.
243
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:35,680
OK, yes, I wondered why my sister
kept touching my face.
244
00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:36,880
Yeah, this is the answer.
245
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:40,000
I saw your pupils dilate
and I thought, "Well, that's a first..."
246
00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,240
Did you want to...?
247
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:43,560
No, I've had an indigestion tablet.
248
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,440
Cheeky half, for the pasta bake.
249
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,120
- Has it kicked in yet?
- I think it was a dud.
250
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:52,600
Of course, the interesting fact about...
251
00:15:52,640 --> 00:15:54,840
I think your sister's trying to fix us up.
252
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,600
I got that impression too.
253
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,360
She thinks I'd be good for you,
or you'd be good for me, or...
254
00:16:00,400 --> 00:16:04,520
- Either way, nothing's gonna happen.
- No, I wasn't expecting it to.
255
00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:07,120
No, I mean you're clearly brilliant,
and it is such a relief
256
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:10,120
to talk to someone who actually knows
something - a proper grown-up.
257
00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:14,200
- Grown-up sounds a bit dull.
- No, no, believe me, it isn't.
258
00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:15,560
I'm on the rebound.
259
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,320
- Bad break-up, you see.
- No, yeah, no, I understand. I do.
260
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,640
(CONNIE CLEARS HER THROAT)
261
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:23,400
Gosh, well, erm,
262
00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:28,200
- I should probably head off anyway...
- Douglas...
263
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:34,960
...would you, erm, walk home with me?
264
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,160
Of course, yeah. Where do you live?
265
00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:38,000
- Whitechapel.
- That's eight miles.
266
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,040
I just want to walk, clear my head.
Do you mind?
267
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:42,120
Not at all. Erm, I'll just tell Karen.
268
00:16:42,160 --> 00:16:43,400
No, let's make a French exit.
269
00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:47,160
- What's a French exit?
- This.
270
00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:50,440
(CONNIE LAUGHS)
271
00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:51,880
(BOTH LAUGH)
272
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,160
(ALARM CLOCK RINGS)
273
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,240
Hmm, hang on a sec.
274
00:17:42,080 --> 00:17:43,320
- (KISS)
- Have a good day.
275
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:45,560
- Bye.
- Bye.
276
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,800
- So I'll see you...
- Yeah.
277
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:51,440
- What time will you...?
- Usual.
278
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,680
ALBIE: OK, I'm off.
279
00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,160
Room.
280
00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:19,200
When I get back.
281
00:18:21,120 --> 00:18:22,840
Dad?
282
00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:23,960
What's wrong?
283
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,000
(SCOFFS)
284
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,040
(ENGINE STARTS)
285
00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:32,400
(DOG YELPS)
286
00:18:33,640 --> 00:18:35,600
(YELPING CONTINUES)
287
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:51,920
Connie!
288
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,000
Connie!
289
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,840
- Connie!
- (SIGHS)
290
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:57,960
Douglas.
291
00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:04,960
Connie! Connie! Connie!
Connie, you're right.
292
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,040
We should still go on holiday.
293
00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,800
Do the grand tour,
for Albie's sake as much as anything...
294
00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,240
But not just Albie's sake.
295
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:13,440
- No, for all our sakes, like you said...
- (HORN BEEPS)
296
00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:15,960
- ...it is the last time and...
- (BEEPING CONTINUES)
297
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,680
...maybe I haven't been paying attention.
298
00:19:17,720 --> 00:19:19,840
Can you give us one minute?!
299
00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:21,640
But I'm noticing now,
300
00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:27,160
and whatever happens in the autumn,
we'll have this last summer together.
301
00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,920
- I'm not wearing shoes.
- (HORNS BEEP)
302
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:35,160
There's probably glass. I should go back.
But I did just want to say that I...
303
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:39,000
(SHOUTS) Can you give us one moment,
please?!
304
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,880
- I just wanted to say...
- Let's not do this here.
305
00:19:41,920 --> 00:19:44,840
I'm driving off now. Here I go.
306
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:04,080
DOUGLAS: Show you can change.
307
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,280
1.
308
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,720
Never be too tired or not in the mood.
309
00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:14,000
2.
310
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:14,960
Albie!
311
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,360
Avoid conflict with Albie.
312
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:20,000
Be interested. Good humour at all times.
313
00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,160
Albie, can you bring your stuff?
314
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,600
3. Try new things.
315
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,840
Unusual foods late at night.
Be open-minded.
316
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:32,240
- Ah, you're gonna bring your guitar?
- Is that all right?
317
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,120
Yeah. Course. That's great!
318
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:39,080
4. It's not necessary to be right
about everything,
319
00:20:39,120 --> 00:20:40,920
even when clearly right.
320
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,880
You know who'll be carrying
this across Europe, don't you?
321
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,520
You mustn't panic - he wants to busk.
322
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,520
Well, I suppose there are worse
things he could do.
323
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:49,440
I'm sure he'll do those too.
324
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:54,040
5. Be organised but maintain
a sense of fun
325
00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:56,360
and spontaneity.
326
00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:01,920
6. At all times be aware of Connie.
Talk and listen.
327
00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:19,920
- Look. It's our emotional baggage.
- Hmm!
328
00:21:21,280 --> 00:21:23,400
It's exciting, isn't it?
329
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,760
It is!
330
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,960
- All those cities...
- Three whole weeks...
331
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,440
- No, no, sorry, you say it.
- Oh, nothing.
332
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:30,120
- Just I'm glad we're doing this.
- Me too.
333
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:31,400
We'll have fun.
334
00:21:31,440 --> 00:21:32,760
See the sights.
335
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,400
You can talk to Albie.
336
00:21:37,120 --> 00:21:38,320
I do talk to Albie.
337
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:41,160
A conversation in a calm voice.
338
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:43,720
OK.
339
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:50,320
DOUGLAS: So we're in France exactly...
340
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:54,800
...now...
341
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,400
(PHONE VIBRATES)
342
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,480
...or maybe the border's halfway
through the tunnel.
343
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,240
They ought to have a sign,
except no one would see it.
344
00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:04,880
Who designed the Channel Tunnel?
Nobody knows, do they?
345
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,280
If it was a bridge we'd know.
346
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:09,560
Bridges are show-offs,
but a good tunnel - underrated.
347
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,560
All that rock and water over your head
348
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,360
and yet you feel completely safe.
349
00:22:14,400 --> 00:22:15,960
I don't feel safe.
350
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:18,040
- (DOUGLAS LAUGHS)
- (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS)
351
00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,680
(DRUMS TABLE) Look at us, three weeks,
six countries, twelve cities.
352
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:24,560
We're like, I don't know, U2!
353
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,880
I hope we get a copy of that -
the coffee cup!
354
00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:47,200
He's experimenting.
It's what he's meant to do at his age.
355
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:48,560
Three years to study photography.
356
00:22:48,600 --> 00:22:49,960
Can't he just read the manual?
357
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,440
I know! It's not that sort of
photography...
358
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,440
It's photography and art.
359
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,480
And he's very talented.
360
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:58,600
I just don't think he's ever taken
a single picture of me.
361
00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:04,520
Sees an old fridge in a skip and he's
snapping away, but his own father...
362
00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:05,560
Ask him, then.
363
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:06,720
- Hmm?
- Well, if you'd like him
364
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,120
to take your photograph,
all you have to do is ask him.
365
00:23:09,160 --> 00:23:10,840
No, I don't want to be photographed.
366
00:23:10,880 --> 00:23:13,160
Well, he thinks you're not interested.
367
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,520
Go on.
368
00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:30,680
Sorry.
369
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,280
May I see?
370
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:46,800
Mmm!
371
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:48,160
All in focus.
372
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:51,680
Just trying stuff out.
373
00:23:51,720 --> 00:23:53,960
It's sort of abstract, isn't it?
374
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,200
When we get to Paris,
I want lots of the Eiffel Tower
375
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:07,720
with me sort of leaning against it.
376
00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:19,560
CONNIE: Of course,
as a career it's insane - art.
377
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,760
No-one makes a living.
At least you get to do the thing you love.
378
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,960
- Bio...?
- Biochemistry.
379
00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:27,520
Yeah, literally the chemistry of life.
380
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:31,320
Every living thing.
What's more interesting than that?
381
00:24:31,360 --> 00:24:35,000
Even as a kid, I loved it.
382
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:38,800
I used to get these magazines,
World Of Wonder and Amazing Science,
383
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:42,440
just fun facts about protein,
how to make a battery out of a lemon.
384
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,280
- You can do that?
- I can, if you ever need me to.
385
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:49,920
At that age it all goes in. I used...
386
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:55,280
Oh, God. I used to fantasise about having
some sudden beautiful realisation,
387
00:24:55,320 --> 00:24:58,800
perpetual motion or clean, safe fission,
time travel...
388
00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:03,080
- Are you all right?
- Er, yes, of course.
389
00:25:03,120 --> 00:25:05,880
Sorry, it's... I'm just a bit buzzy.
390
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:08,640
Should I stop talking?
391
00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:12,040
No, no, you're bringing me down,
er, in a good way.
392
00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:17,120
CONNIE: Do you actually have any idea
where we're going?
393
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,000
The first stop is Paris -
the food, the culture, the romance.
394
00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:24,400
North to Amsterdam for the museums,
overnight to Munich,
395
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:29,880
very exciting, then hop over the Alps
to Venice, Bologna, Siena and Florence.
396
00:25:29,920 --> 00:25:32,440
And then down to the glory that is Rome,
397
00:25:32,480 --> 00:25:35,320
south to Naples, and still there's more!
398
00:25:35,360 --> 00:25:38,160
For the first time a flight -
Madrid, Barcelona,
399
00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:42,480
then across the border to Marseille
and back to Paris.
400
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:48,120
DOUGLAS: Keep an eye on your bags...
401
00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:51,080
Every station we've ever been to, your
father says, "Keep an eye on your bags."
402
00:25:51,120 --> 00:25:52,560
Wallets too. It's...
403
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:54,640
- CONNIE AND ALBIE: ...Pickpocket Central.
- Yeah.
404
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:00,000
Et voilà!
405
00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:02,440
Hotel Bontemps.
406
00:26:02,480 --> 00:26:05,400
Literally Good-Times Hotel.
407
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:09,160
Technically two-stars
but with four-star reviews.
408
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:19,320
So...I thought I'd save some money
and put us all in the same room.
409
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:22,160
- You're kidding me!
- There's bunk beds,
410
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,960
or you can squeeze in
with me and your mum.
411
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,720
I'm sorry, but I refuse to sleep in a...
412
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:29,960
We're next door.
413
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,000
OK. Thanks, Dad.
414
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,960
Don't touch the minibar,
the mark-up's outrageous.
415
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:38,120
Remember, your father can hear
a minibar open from three rooms away.
416
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,680
Exactly. Buy stuff outside
and smuggle it in, like everyone else.
417
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,880
Bunk beds! Such a dad joke.
418
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,120
- What d'you think?
- It's very nice.
419
00:26:58,160 --> 00:27:02,240
Eugh! A bit more pubic hair
than I'd want in a hotel room.
420
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,160
All in all, I'd have preferred
a chocolate on my pillow.
421
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:06,440
You're right.
422
00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:08,280
Where are you going?
423
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:10,160
I'm going to go to reception
and ask them to clean the room...
424
00:27:10,200 --> 00:27:11,200
Hold on.
425
00:27:11,240 --> 00:27:13,680
Let's rest a moment.
426
00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:19,560
- I just want everything to be perfect.
- I sense that.
427
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:23,320
But it won't be, not all the time.
428
00:27:23,360 --> 00:27:24,480
I don't mind.
429
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,640
(SIGHS) I caught myself napping
the other day,
430
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:32,760
in the armchair, in the middle of the
afternoon - never done that before.
431
00:27:33,880 --> 00:27:38,640
I thought, "Oh, here we go.
I'm becoming a woman who naps."
432
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:40,120
It's the death of the cell.
433
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,600
Slowing down, it's bound to happen.
434
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:45,000
- Already?
- We're lucky to make it this far.
435
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,920
In the 15th century, we'd be a miracle.
436
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,440
Like ancient gods.
437
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:51,320
Well, that's OK, then.
438
00:27:51,360 --> 00:27:53,960
I just mean it's not a surprise.
439
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,720
I expected you to get older.
440
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,040
It's still you.
441
00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:03,280
I always thought, "Albie leaves home,
we have time together,
442
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,320
"travel, go for long walks...
443
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:13,320
"...and then eventually -
slow down, get old,
444
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:16,320
"look after each other and die...
445
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,840
"...short illness or a fall."
446
00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:26,760
I realise, as a vision of our future,
I'm not necessarily selling the idea.
447
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,040
Let's not think too much about it.
448
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:32,680
Let's make it a rule.
449
00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:35,040
- Live in the moment!
- Yeah, yeah.
450
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,360
I'd better just check on Albie.
451
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:52,160
(DOOR CLOSES)
452
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,080
DOUGLAS: What do you mean,
you're not coming?
453
00:28:54,120 --> 00:28:55,120
ALBIE: I want to do my own thing.
454
00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,920
DOUGLAS:
The reservation's for three people.
455
00:28:56,960 --> 00:28:59,040
- They can remove a chair.
- What are you going to do instead?
456
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:00,200
Walk around, explore.
457
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:02,280
- Explore with us.
- Dad, I don't want to.
458
00:29:02,320 --> 00:29:06,480
The whole reason we're here is
to spend time together as a family.
459
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:08,040
We spend plenty of time together...
460
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:09,360
- Not in Paris!
- Douglas...
461
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:10,520
What's different about Paris?
462
00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:12,400
Money for one thing. D'you have any idea
463
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,440
- how much all this costs?
- Douglas!
464
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,040
- The-The-The money's not important!
- Why bring it up, then?
465
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:19,720
Because I want it to be the three of us.
466
00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,960
Dad, I've basically come
backpacking with my parents.
467
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,760
You have to give me a bit of time
to myself.
468
00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:25,800
Douglas...
469
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:28,840
...please, take me out to dinner.
470
00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,120
- There you go.
- It's date night.
471
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,760
You can settle
that whole tunnels-versus-bridges thing.
472
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,400
I'll see you at breakfast.
473
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:38,880
Up at eight sharp!
474
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,000
On the streets at 8.45.
475
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,760
We're beating the crowds!
476
00:30:26,320 --> 00:30:27,320
Ready?
477
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:39,040
Has Albie got any friends in Paris?
478
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,560
I think friends
means something different now.
479
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:44,320
I mean, he goes online and writes,
"I'm in Paris,"
480
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:47,920
and someone says, "My friend's in Paris,
you should meet," so he does.
481
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:50,400
- Sounds terrifying.
- I don't know.
482
00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:55,000
All those new people.
Maybe it's easier when you're young.
483
00:30:55,040 --> 00:30:57,480
I found it terrifying
when I was young as well.
484
00:30:57,520 --> 00:30:59,800
- Yes, me too.
- Really?
485
00:30:59,840 --> 00:31:02,040
You always seemed like you could
talk to anyone.
486
00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:04,080
Well, most of the time I was drunk...
487
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:07,760
...or off my face on something.
488
00:31:07,800 --> 00:31:09,640
But I'm sober now.
489
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,160
Sorry about that.
490
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,520
- Bit embarrassing.
- Oh, I don't mind.
491
00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:17,800
My friends always say, "Take this pill,
492
00:31:17,840 --> 00:31:21,400
"have one more drink,
lose those inhibitions."
493
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,080
I want something that'll
give them back.
494
00:31:24,120 --> 00:31:26,240
Imagine waking up, nice clear head,
thinking,
495
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,520
"God, I was so inhibited last night."
496
00:31:31,920 --> 00:31:34,480
- Actually, that's how I do wake up.
- (LAUGHS)
497
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,440
And doesn't that feel incredible?
498
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:38,920
Not always.
499
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,200
I think it sounds like bliss.
500
00:31:43,640 --> 00:31:47,680
CONNIE: This walk is ridiculous.
You OK to keep going?
501
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:50,560
Course.
502
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,000
How far is that now?
503
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:57,000
8,459, just under.
504
00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,680
What I don't understand is... Oh, no.
505
00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,200
Go on.
506
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:08,160
Surely you know how far you've walked
because you've walked that far.
507
00:32:08,200 --> 00:32:11,840
It's about goals, measurable data.
508
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,280
Maybe we'll cross 10K on the way home.
509
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,920
You look very beautiful, by the way.
510
00:32:22,160 --> 00:32:23,360
That's the candles.
511
00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:25,120
In the 15th century, I'm a miracle.
512
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:29,200
Look, they've got an Edith Piaf burger.
513
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:30,720
Probably the only thing...
514
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,000
BOTH: ...she regrets.
515
00:32:34,360 --> 00:32:35,960
All dad jokes from now on.
516
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:37,560
I like dad jokes.
517
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:38,920
You look nice too, by the way.
518
00:32:38,960 --> 00:32:40,320
- Tie too much?
- Not at all.
519
00:32:40,360 --> 00:32:42,160
You've got the job!
520
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:48,160
C'est possible avoir deux verres
de Champagne aussi peut etre?
521
00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:49,840
(FRENCH ACCENT)
I'll, er, bring them straightaway.
522
00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,600
How do they know I'm English?
523
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,160
C'est un mystère.
524
00:32:55,200 --> 00:32:57,920
- Maybe if I'd had lessons, like you.
- I didn't have lessons.
525
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,040
I learnt it from French people.
526
00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:03,080
French boys. 20-year-old French boys
527
00:33:03,120 --> 00:33:05,320
- with skinny chests and Gauloises.
- Not at all.
528
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:09,520
It really wasn't like that, and they
weren't boyfriends. It was more,
529
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:11,880
"Je t'aime mais comme un ami."
530
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:15,320
- What's that?
- I love you but as a friend.
531
00:33:18,240 --> 00:33:19,440
Long time ago now.
532
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:23,160
It was all a bit of a waste of time,
all that travelling around,
533
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,880
instead of getting on with stuff. At least
you were doing something useful.
534
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,920
Me and my fruit-fly friends?
Not that useful in the end.
535
00:33:31,200 --> 00:33:32,680
Bit of a plodder, really.
536
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:35,320
- Douglas!
- I know. In the moment.
537
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:37,120
So, tell me something new.
538
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:43,720
- Merci.
- Thank you.
539
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:46,560
Let's get hammered, shall we?
540
00:33:52,120 --> 00:33:53,360
Are you sure?
541
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:54,760
Course, why not?
542
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,000
Doesn't seem very dignified.
543
00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,480
(CONNIE LAUGHS)
544
00:34:07,280 --> 00:34:08,920
(CONNIE LAUGHS)
545
00:34:19,680 --> 00:34:24,040
- What about my 10,000 steps?
- Oh, forget about the steps!
546
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,720
This is me, as they say.
547
00:34:29,760 --> 00:34:31,240
Thanks for walking me home.
548
00:34:32,360 --> 00:34:34,440
Feel more sober. Saner.
549
00:34:34,480 --> 00:34:38,320
If you hadn't been around,
I'd have just called my ex, so...
550
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:40,680
It's only four, you could still catch him.
551
00:34:40,720 --> 00:34:42,000
I think I'll leave it.
552
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:47,000
Well, I had a nice time.
I didn't refer to my list once.
553
00:34:47,040 --> 00:34:50,040
Throw the list away, Douglas.
554
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:54,240
There's a night bus, isn't there?
555
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:56,360
- What, back to Balham?
- Yes.
556
00:34:56,400 --> 00:34:58,920
I'm working tomorrow, so school night.
557
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,760
- Er, Trafalgar Square and then N77.
- Douglas...
558
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:07,640
...I am literally inviting you up
to see my etchings.
559
00:35:13,240 --> 00:35:14,280
CONNIE: Oh.
560
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,080
- CONNIE: No.
- DOUGLAS: Oh.
561
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:18,320
Really?
562
00:35:19,160 --> 00:35:21,400
Oh, that turns the bathroom light on.
563
00:35:21,440 --> 00:35:24,800
This wiring's the work of a maniac.
What happens if...?
564
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:25,840
Why don't you just...?
565
00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:28,200
Oh, hello.
566
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,840
(LAUGHS) All right!
567
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:38,880
(DOUGLAS MOANS)
568
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,680
- What? Stop a second.
- You OK?
569
00:35:45,720 --> 00:35:47,120
Yes. It's...
570
00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:50,400
- What?
- Complimentary chocolate.
571
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:53,640
Oh. Thanks. Later.
572
00:35:59,760 --> 00:36:02,200
(CONNIE LAUGHS)
573
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:05,640
(DOUGLAS GRUNTS)
574
00:36:10,920 --> 00:36:12,520
Bit waxy.
575
00:36:12,560 --> 00:36:15,960
Really is the worst thing you can eat
before you go to sleep.
576
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:19,320
- We don't have to eat it.
- Yes, we do, it's free.
577
00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,080
Anyway, it's too late now.
578
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:26,000
I'm gonna walk it off. 9,973.
579
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:27,280
So near.
580
00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,280
Hmm, I should walk up and down
the corridor.
581
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:32,960
You can, but I won't let you back in.
582
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:35,640
Fair enough.
583
00:36:47,160 --> 00:36:50,040
I'm sorry this is confusing -
I'm confused too.
584
00:36:52,520 --> 00:36:54,320
The great thing is, we're talking.
585
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,640
Then let's stop now.
586
00:36:59,240 --> 00:37:00,480
(SIREN IN DISTANCE)
587
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,320
- (GUITAR STRUMMING NEXT DOOR)
- (CONNIE SIGHS)
588
00:37:29,960 --> 00:37:32,120
For Christ's sake, Albie.
589
00:37:35,280 --> 00:37:37,760
- It's two in the morning.
- Should I go there?
590
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,880
Not yet, not if he's with people.
591
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:44,040
How many's he got in there?
I'm gonna call reception.
592
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:47,800
No! Don't inform on your own son.
Just text him.
593
00:37:50,240 --> 00:37:51,920
- (GUITAR STRUMMING STOPS)
- Shh, shh, shh, shh.
594
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:53,240
It's stopped.
595
00:37:56,960 --> 00:37:59,520
- (DOUGLAS GRUNTS)
- Yeah.
596
00:38:07,560 --> 00:38:08,600
(RHYTHMIC CREAKING)
597
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:10,680
- Oh, no.
- (CREAKING CONTINUES)
598
00:38:10,720 --> 00:38:15,360
- Is that what I think it is?
- I hope it is just two of them.
599
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,640
Oh, I'm gonna text him.
600
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:19,880
What do you text in this situation?
601
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,560
It's not something I've thought about.
602
00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:22,840
- Or email?
- (GROANING FROM NEXT DOOR)
603
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,800
He's not checking his emails!
604
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:30,160
- Ah, ok, I'm gonna text just, "No."
- All caps!
605
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,720
- (GROANING CONTINUES)
- I don't want to be a killjoy.
606
00:38:32,760 --> 00:38:34,760
"No" and then a smiley face.
607
00:38:34,800 --> 00:38:38,120
- "Precautions" exclamation mark.
- (LAUGHS) Yeah.
608
00:38:39,520 --> 00:38:41,320
Ach, no.
609
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:44,320
(SIGHS)
610
00:38:44,360 --> 00:38:45,760
Let's just...
611
00:38:53,360 --> 00:38:55,360
(GROANING INTENSIFIES NEXT DOOR)
612
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:08,040
Should we have that talk?
613
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,000
- What talk?
- The sex talk.
614
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:12,560
OK.
615
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:15,880
Well, my feeling is that while you and I
are still together and sharing a bed,
616
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:16,960
there's no reason why...
617
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,400
- I meant with Albie.
- Oh.
618
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,400
Well, if last night taught us anything,
it's that it's a little late for that.
619
00:39:23,440 --> 00:39:26,640
- Even so, I'm gonna talk to him later.
- Really? OK.
620
00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:29,920
- Do we need to talk?
- Mum? Dad?
621
00:39:29,960 --> 00:39:34,760
- This is my friend.
- Hi! I'm Kat, pleased to meet you.
622
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,160
Kat, as in Katherine?
623
00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:38,760
Er, no-one's called me that
since I was five.
624
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:40,960
You're Connie, yeah?
625
00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,400
- Oh!
- (CONNIE LAUGHS)
626
00:39:43,440 --> 00:39:47,040
- Albie's right, you are gorgeous.
- Well...
627
00:39:47,080 --> 00:39:48,200
As for you, Douglas...
628
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:51,160
- (GROWLS)
- (AWKWARD LAUGHTER)
629
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:55,680
So, erm, I hear talk
of a breakfast buffet?
630
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:00,600
It's so cool how you guys can do this.
631
00:40:00,640 --> 00:40:03,160
Inter-railing but with your mum and dad.
632
00:40:03,200 --> 00:40:04,560
It's more of a grand tour, really.
633
00:40:04,600 --> 00:40:07,080
Yeah, so Albie can see some art,
some architecture.
634
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,080
Oh, I don't know how you don't
all kill each other.
635
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:11,720
It's the first day, so...
636
00:40:11,760 --> 00:40:13,800
What brings you to Paris, Kat?
637
00:40:13,840 --> 00:40:17,000
Well, Connie, music -
music brings me to Paris.
638
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:20,640
All this free stuff,
it just goes on and on!
639
00:40:20,680 --> 00:40:22,600
It's not free, exactly.
640
00:40:23,800 --> 00:40:24,880
Kat's in a band.
641
00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:26,520
Yes, we heard you last night.
642
00:40:26,560 --> 00:40:28,160
KAT: Ah, thank you!
643
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,040
Oh, you didn't like it.
644
00:40:31,080 --> 00:40:33,480
You play very well,
it was just a little late.
645
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:37,000
Why do they only have
these tiny glasses?
646
00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:38,600
Yeah, you got to keep filling them up.
647
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,040
- Hmm.
- You could just lie underneath
648
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:41,120
and open the tap.
649
00:40:41,160 --> 00:40:42,360
So where are the band?
650
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,160
Oh, they've all gone back home.
651
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:47,480
I thought I'd stay on,
bum my way round Europe.
652
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:48,960
That's how I met Albie.
653
00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:52,280
He was on my spot,
so, er, I set him straight,
654
00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:56,080
we had a chat and one thing led
to another, as they say.
655
00:40:56,120 --> 00:40:59,120
- So you're a busker, then?
- I prefer a "street musician".
656
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,920
Busking suggests a lack of,
er, professionalism.
657
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,640
Oh! Breakfast and lunch.
658
00:41:06,680 --> 00:41:12,040
Oh, look at this ham. I'm essentially a
vegan, with the exception of cured meats.
659
00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:18,520
Sorry, Kat.
660
00:41:18,560 --> 00:41:20,280
- Can you put some of that back?
- Hm?
661
00:41:20,320 --> 00:41:22,360
Just maybe don't put stuff
in your pockets.
662
00:41:22,400 --> 00:41:23,520
(WHISPERS) Jesus!
663
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,080
Are you accusing me of stealing?
664
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:26,520
He didn't say stealing.
665
00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,840
It's meant to be eaten on the
premises, otherwise it's anarchy.
666
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:29,880
I'm a thief?
667
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:31,680
No, you're just getting carried away.
668
00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:34,360
It's not how buffets work.
It's a system of mutual trust.
669
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:36,120
KAT: It only gets stale and thrown away.
670
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,240
Not these, not the preserves,
that's why they're called preserves!
671
00:41:39,280 --> 00:41:42,320
Take one by all means,
the honey or the jam.
672
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:44,600
OK.
673
00:41:50,240 --> 00:41:51,440
I'm so embarrassed.
674
00:41:51,480 --> 00:41:54,720
Let's...
Let's just all go and sit down, shall we?
675
00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:59,480
How do your parents
feel about you travelling, Kat?
676
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:01,720
- Dad!
- What?
677
00:42:01,760 --> 00:42:04,280
Search me, Douglas,
haven't seen them for three years.
678
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:05,920
What, you haven't seen your parents
for three years?
679
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,800
- That's terrible.
- Not for me it isn't.
680
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:10,160
For me it's great.
681
00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:11,280
Do you call them?
682
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:14,280
Mm-hm. My mum, twice a year,
Christmas and birthday.
683
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,280
- Yours or hers?
- What?
684
00:42:16,320 --> 00:42:17,640
Well, do you speak to your mother
685
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:19,200
- on your birthday or her birthday?
- Oh.
686
00:42:19,240 --> 00:42:21,120
Hers. It's her treat.
687
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:26,520
Connie, Albie says that you used to be
an artist but you gave it all up.
688
00:42:26,560 --> 00:42:28,400
Oh, well, I was never really an artist.
689
00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,600
- You sold paintings.
- A few. To friends, to my parents.
690
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:33,280
But I didn't really make a living.
691
00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:34,760
You're still artistic, Connie.
692
00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:37,280
I work in community arts.
693
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:41,400
I, erm... I don't create anything
myself, just facilitate.
694
00:42:41,440 --> 00:42:42,840
Yes, that's the word.
695
00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:44,600
- I facilitate others.
- KAT: Hmm.
696
00:42:47,720 --> 00:42:53,120
Dougie, so you're an evil scientist.
Big pharma, yeah?
697
00:42:53,160 --> 00:42:56,920
I work in the pharmaceutical industry,
yes, in research and development.
698
00:42:56,960 --> 00:42:58,800
I know some of Albie's concerns
about the ethics of this...
699
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,680
I didn't say anything!
700
00:43:00,720 --> 00:43:03,080
Don't get at me, I just said what you do.
701
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:05,240
All I can say is,
let's just imagine if, God forbid,
702
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:07,040
you should require some new medicine,
703
00:43:07,080 --> 00:43:09,320
developed by the evil corporation,
let's just, er...
704
00:43:09,360 --> 00:43:10,720
(ALBIE SIGHS)
705
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:15,320
Let's just say,
I think it's important work,
706
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:17,440
but there's always room for improvement.
707
00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:21,600
Shall we go?
708
00:43:22,760 --> 00:43:24,040
OK.
709
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:27,800
DOUGLAS: I liked her.
710
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:30,560
Is that why you asked her to put
her breakfast back?
711
00:43:30,600 --> 00:43:31,600
Not all of it.
712
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:34,480
"The buffet system is a system of trust."
713
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:36,160
Was that too much?
714
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:38,400
Oh, God, look at him.
Our boy's all grown up.
715
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,920
Bye, guys! See you around, maybe.
716
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:44,400
Douglas, check it out.
717
00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,800
- Stop! Thief!
- (CONNIE LAUGHS)
718
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:50,600
Bye.
719
00:43:54,440 --> 00:43:57,720
DOUGLAS: We liked her.
She's got a very quirky view of the world.
720
00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,640
So will you see each other again,
d'you think?
721
00:44:02,680 --> 00:44:08,080
You know it's not unnatural -
two adults talking about relationships.
722
00:44:08,120 --> 00:44:10,280
Is unnatural. I'm your son.
723
00:44:10,320 --> 00:44:12,120
You're a man now.
724
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,600
Technically, you could fight in a war.
725
00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,160
Well, I would rather fight in a war
than have this conversation!
726
00:44:16,200 --> 00:44:17,280
(DOUGLAS LAUGHS)
727
00:44:17,320 --> 00:44:20,240
- Your mother and you talk all the time!
- That's different!
728
00:44:21,240 --> 00:44:22,240
Well, it needn't be.
729
00:44:23,440 --> 00:44:24,760
I'm trying to be more open.
730
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:27,160
Well, can you close it down, please?
731
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:28,520
Let's just get there, shall we?
732
00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:34,080
DOUGLAS: You see, this is why
we got up early - to beat the crowds.
733
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:36,560
ALBIE: This holiday, are we going to do
anything spontaneous?
734
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:38,080
Er, I hadn't planned to.
735
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:42,200
Now, Albie, if you're serious about art,
this is the place.
736
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:45,640
We're doing this for your sake.
737
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,200
All our sakes. Let's start.
738
00:44:49,400 --> 00:44:54,280
DOUGLAS: Can't do the whole thing, so the
trick is to focus on a few key paintings.
739
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,520
CONNIE: Or...just see what happens.
740
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,920
Well, at least someone's having
a worse holiday than us.
741
00:45:13,360 --> 00:45:15,240
No, I'm having a nice time.
742
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:17,360
Really.
743
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:21,800
DOUGLAS: A lot going on, isn't there?
744
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:24,480
A lot going on.
745
00:45:26,880 --> 00:45:29,320
Awful situation.
746
00:45:36,920 --> 00:45:39,000
- Nightmare to frame.
- (ALBIE SIGHS)
747
00:45:56,800 --> 00:46:01,400
I like this one. Look, all the different
vegetables. It's very original.
748
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:03,600
It's kitsch.
749
00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,960
But if you had to eat one of the four?
750
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:21,360
DOUGLAS: 2,839 steps - feels like more.
751
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:26,560
Why are art galleries so exhausting?
Is it all the pondering?
752
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:28,520
You could wait in the cafe,
if you're bored.
753
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:29,800
No, I'm not bored, no.
754
00:46:31,120 --> 00:46:34,520
Just wish I knew how long you're meant
to look and what you're meant to say.
755
00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,040
Don't say anything. Just look.
756
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,280
Look around you.
757
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:44,720
DOUGLAS: The Mona Lisa's back there.
758
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:48,240
CONNIE: Oh, let's leave it. Too many
people. You know what it looks like.
759
00:46:48,280 --> 00:46:49,280
OK.
760
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,120
Seems strange,
being in the Louvre and not seeing...
761
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,000
It's smaller than you think,
and the eyes follow you round the room.
762
00:46:57,040 --> 00:46:59,000
Let's find something new.
763
00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:02,360
OK.
764
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:06,680
- (WHISPERS) I really want to tick it off.
- I know!
765
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,960
- Do we need to talk about last night?
- Hm?
766
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:12,320
Mum?
767
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:21,840
Uh-huh.
768
00:47:23,000 --> 00:47:24,520
(TRAIN RATTLES PAST)
769
00:47:24,560 --> 00:47:26,120
DOUGLAS: I like art.
770
00:47:26,160 --> 00:47:28,280
I just don't know anything about it.
771
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,160
You don't have to know anything.
772
00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,520
The only thing hanging on my wall
is a fire extinguisher.
773
00:47:35,240 --> 00:47:38,360
Just a great blank wall of magnolia.
774
00:47:38,400 --> 00:47:41,520
I'll have to do something about that
before you come round.
775
00:47:45,560 --> 00:47:49,760
- What about those?
- Oh, er, no, we don't talk about those.
776
00:47:49,800 --> 00:47:53,200
Art school stuff, it's all rubbish,
just ripped-off from other people.
777
00:47:53,240 --> 00:47:54,920
- They're wonderful!
- Oh, well,
778
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,360
like you said,
you don't know anything about art.
779
00:47:56,400 --> 00:47:58,640
- So...
- I can tell when someone's good.
780
00:47:59,920 --> 00:48:01,400
Can I buy one...
781
00:48:02,560 --> 00:48:03,760
...for my wall?
782
00:48:03,800 --> 00:48:04,880
You're very nice.
783
00:48:04,920 --> 00:48:07,040
Not on a first date.
784
00:48:08,080 --> 00:48:09,200
(DOUGLAS EXHALES)
785
00:48:10,240 --> 00:48:12,000
- Mmm.
- I should go.
786
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:13,680
Oh. OK.
787
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:18,960
- Well, it's Saturday, can't you skive?
- No, have to go to the lab.
788
00:48:20,640 --> 00:48:25,400
But are you...? Silly idea.
789
00:48:28,400 --> 00:48:29,960
Are you busy?
790
00:48:33,360 --> 00:48:37,040
60% of the genes responsible
for human disease are found in Drosophila.
791
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:41,760
So, er, we can investigate
Parkinson's disease, Huntington's.
792
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:42,800
Hmm.
793
00:48:42,840 --> 00:48:43,840
It's exciting stuff.
794
00:48:43,880 --> 00:48:45,400
So what am I looking for?
795
00:48:45,440 --> 00:48:49,880
Wing shape, eye pigmentation,
changes in genital architecture...
796
00:48:49,920 --> 00:48:51,440
Good name for a band.
797
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:52,480
(WHISPERS) Go away!
798
00:48:53,480 --> 00:48:58,160
And how do you examine
their genital architecture?
799
00:48:58,200 --> 00:49:02,080
- Usually knock them unconscious.
- What, with tiny truncheons?
800
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:05,360
Carbon dioxide.
801
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:08,280
- Science, eh?
- It's amazing, isn't it?
802
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,400
- Least I've always thought so.
- Amazing.
803
00:49:14,440 --> 00:49:16,320
Best thing about them
804
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:20,080
is they have this very short,
straightforward reproductive cycle.
805
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,640
Many generations in a matter of months.
806
00:49:22,680 --> 00:49:26,800
Well, they are...very sexy.
807
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:31,640
Constantly at it, multiple partners,
drunk on rotten fruit -
808
00:49:31,680 --> 00:49:34,440
like one of my sister's parties.
809
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,240
And this is...?
810
00:49:39,280 --> 00:49:41,120
The breeding room.
811
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:42,960
- Oh.
- Mm.
812
00:49:44,120 --> 00:49:45,480
The breeding room.
813
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,320
- (CLATTERING NEXT DOOR)
- (CONNIE MOANS)
814
00:49:56,360 --> 00:49:58,760
(CONNIE LAUGHS)
815
00:50:00,320 --> 00:50:01,560
(CONNIE CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
816
00:50:01,600 --> 00:50:03,120
(ALBIE AND CONNIE CHAT)
817
00:50:26,800 --> 00:50:28,400
(DRINK POURS)
818
00:50:28,440 --> 00:50:30,760
- Here, this is for you.
- From the minibar.
819
00:50:30,800 --> 00:50:33,600
- What's come over you?
- I know. I'm like some oligarch.
820
00:50:33,640 --> 00:50:34,640
Where's yours?
821
00:50:34,680 --> 00:50:36,480
- There's just one. I'm not insane.
- You have it.
822
00:50:36,520 --> 00:50:38,040
I've brushed my teeth.
823
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:41,600
Is our son joining us tonight?
824
00:50:41,640 --> 00:50:44,400
I guess so. Ask him.
825
00:50:44,440 --> 00:50:45,640
He doesn't talk to me.
826
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:59,200
- Put your phone down, please.
- I'm reading.
827
00:50:59,240 --> 00:51:04,520
"While many of Paris's Sichuan restaurants
turn down the heat for the local palate,
828
00:51:04,560 --> 00:51:07,080
"food here packs an intimidating punch."
829
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,040
Why would you want to be
intimidated by your food?
830
00:51:10,080 --> 00:51:12,360
I'm sorry, I just couldn't face
any more steak or cheese.
831
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:14,280
Intimidated then punched.
832
00:51:14,320 --> 00:51:16,360
It's exciting,
eating out of your comfort zone.
833
00:51:16,400 --> 00:51:18,000
I don't see what's wrong
with being comfortable.
834
00:51:18,040 --> 00:51:20,480
- Oh, don't be like that.
- Is there a menu in English?
835
00:51:20,520 --> 00:51:23,280
- (ALBIE SIGHS)
- No, I'm not being...
836
00:51:23,320 --> 00:51:26,920
I just don't see the point
in pretending that we're not tourists.
837
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:31,320
We are tourists, we're meant to see the
Eiffel Tower and the Mona Lisa,
838
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:32,480
that's why we're here.
839
00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:33,600
Douglas!
840
00:51:33,640 --> 00:51:35,440
I'll order for you.
841
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:40,400
Fine...just order sensibly, please.
842
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:46,280
CONNIE: Mmm!
843
00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:52,840
- Mm, Albie, this red stuff.
- Tomato, I think.
844
00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:54,680
It's chilli, it's pure chilli.
845
00:51:54,720 --> 00:51:56,840
Here, try these.
846
00:51:56,880 --> 00:51:58,640
Careful with the fingers.
847
00:51:58,680 --> 00:52:00,600
- It burns.
- Well, if it burns your fingers,
848
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:02,440
why would you put it in your mouth!?
849
00:52:02,480 --> 00:52:04,720
- Go on.
- Just take one.
850
00:52:11,480 --> 00:52:14,200
- (GASPS)
- (ALBIE AND CONNIE LAUGH)
851
00:52:14,240 --> 00:52:15,880
(MUFFLED) I can't feel my face!
852
00:52:17,120 --> 00:52:19,680
- It...
- Bit much?
853
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:21,000
Here, take mine.
854
00:52:21,040 --> 00:52:22,240
It's completely numb.
855
00:52:23,600 --> 00:52:29,600
Mm. (GRUNTS) Well, Albie,
it certainly does pack a punch!
856
00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,960
Personally, I'd prefer food
that doesn't actually injure you...
857
00:52:33,000 --> 00:52:34,320
Douglas, you've not been injured
by your soup.
858
00:52:34,360 --> 00:52:36,720
- (CONNIE LAUGHS)
- Don't use that!
859
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:38,720
- Why?
- It's got chilli sauce on it!
860
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:40,800
Ow!
861
00:52:42,040 --> 00:52:43,080
Ow!
862
00:52:44,560 --> 00:52:48,000
Ow, ow, ow!
863
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:51,120
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
864
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:52,560
(GROANS) Sorry.
865
00:53:02,360 --> 00:53:03,760
(SHOUTS) Ow!
866
00:53:14,440 --> 00:53:16,040
(RESTAURANT CHATTER AND LAUGHTER)
867
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,880
(CONNIE AND ALBIE LAUGH)
868
00:53:39,880 --> 00:53:41,960
(PHONE RINGS)
869
00:53:42,960 --> 00:53:45,080
- Hello?
- CONNIE: Where are you?
870
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:47,800
Oh, just walking.
871
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:49,920
Wasn't really my thing, so...
872
00:53:49,960 --> 00:53:51,520
But where exactly are you?
873
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:54,280
Towards the river, I don't know.
874
00:53:55,920 --> 00:53:57,760
- How far now?
- Hm?
875
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,400
- Steps?
- Oh.
876
00:54:03,360 --> 00:54:05,440
10,026.
877
00:54:05,480 --> 00:54:07,680
Well, stop walking.
878
00:54:11,200 --> 00:54:13,080
You disappeared.
879
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,520
Yes, I thought I'd make a French exit.
880
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,720
It's only a French exit if no-one notices.
881
00:54:18,760 --> 00:54:20,040
Did you think we wouldn't?
882
00:54:21,040 --> 00:54:22,880
Just don't think I can keep this up,
Connie.
883
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:25,400
No?
884
00:54:26,600 --> 00:54:30,680
Can't live in the moment when
the moment's so hard. It's too confusing.
885
00:54:30,720 --> 00:54:33,920
I'm sorry if I confused you. Last night...
886
00:54:33,960 --> 00:54:39,360
No, no, it's all right. I mean,
rather we tried than didn't. I just...
887
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:43,120
...find the prospect of...
888
00:54:46,040 --> 00:54:47,800
I just feel like I'm losing you both.
889
00:54:49,640 --> 00:54:50,760
I know.
890
00:54:57,280 --> 00:54:59,080
YOUNGER CONNIE: Can I tell you a secret?
891
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:00,920
You might not like it.
892
00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:05,000
Erm...can I say no?
893
00:55:05,040 --> 00:55:06,080
'Fraid not.
894
00:55:08,600 --> 00:55:09,960
I was gonna end it today.
895
00:55:12,160 --> 00:55:13,520
Oh.
896
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:18,320
Just the usual thing, "Lovely to meet you,
lots of fun, let's stay friends."
897
00:55:18,360 --> 00:55:21,160
But now I find...
the men I've known before,
898
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,920
soon as they open their mouths,
I think, "Oh, here we go, one of those."
899
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:28,520
But there's nothing familiar about you.
900
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:33,320
(SIGHS) And you know things,
you ask questions,
901
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:36,920
- you're so passionate about it all...
- I'm sensing a "but".
902
00:55:38,680 --> 00:55:39,880
It's not you, it's...
903
00:55:44,320 --> 00:55:47,600
I'm not good at this...relationships...
904
00:55:48,760 --> 00:55:51,760
...even the word
makes me feel claustrophobic.
905
00:55:52,880 --> 00:55:56,440
I need to know there's a way out, and I
don't want to get caught up in something
906
00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:00,040
that I can't leave without upsetting
both of us.
907
00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,320
So, if we were to...carry on...
908
00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:08,360
...you'd need to know
that was a possibility.
909
00:56:11,120 --> 00:56:14,040
- Am I making sense?
- I think...
910
00:56:15,440 --> 00:56:17,240
...it will be worth the risk.
911
00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:23,640
Good.
912
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:29,760
DOUGLAS: It's harder than I thought.
913
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:32,080
CONNIE: Going on holiday
for the sake of the kid?
914
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:33,120
DOUGLAS: Yeah.
915
00:56:34,600 --> 00:56:36,560
Especially when the kid doesn't
even want to be here.
916
00:56:36,600 --> 00:56:37,720
He does.
917
00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:39,800
He just doesn't want to show it.
918
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:42,480
Maybe...
919
00:56:44,240 --> 00:56:46,160
...maybe if there'd been four of us...
920
00:56:47,680 --> 00:56:49,040
...perhaps it would be less fraught.
921
00:56:50,840 --> 00:56:52,080
There'd be more...
922
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:56,520
Maybe.
923
00:56:58,320 --> 00:56:59,840
Do you think of her?
924
00:57:02,040 --> 00:57:03,160
You know I do.
925
00:57:05,360 --> 00:57:09,040
I think, "What would it be like,
what would we be like, if she were here?"
926
00:57:09,080 --> 00:57:10,440
We'll never know.
927
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,800
Still send you crazy, I'm sure.
928
00:57:15,840 --> 00:57:17,160
Probably.
929
00:57:17,200 --> 00:57:18,400
Would I?
930
00:57:20,560 --> 00:57:21,840
Now and then.
931
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:24,520
Come back to the hotel.
932
00:57:24,560 --> 00:57:26,560
I think I might walk around a bit longer.
933
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:30,240
Oh, you've walked far enough.
Oh, I can't sleep without you.
934
00:57:30,280 --> 00:57:32,240
Or with me, apparently.
935
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,280
No, it's a dilemma.
936
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:38,600
Oh, come back and try, and tomorrow...
937
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:41,080
Home...
938
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:43,400
...or Amsterdam?
939
00:57:45,640 --> 00:57:47,720
Well, I don't want us to go home.
940
00:57:49,560 --> 00:57:51,680
Amsterdam, then.
941
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:55,600
Amsterdam.
942
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:04,400
Doesn't have to be a party city.
943
00:58:04,440 --> 00:58:08,240
It's also a conference city,
a perfectly civilised place.
944
00:58:08,280 --> 00:58:11,880
Are you gonna spend the whole holiday
walking 12 steps ahead?
945
00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:13,760
Seriously, though, we're due
at the Anne Frank House at five,
946
00:58:13,800 --> 00:58:16,640
- so if you want to see the tuli...
- Hello, Petersens!
947
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:17,840
Oh, Christ!
948
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:18,920
Dad!
949
00:58:18,960 --> 00:58:22,640
Or...I could show you the real Amsterdam.
950
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,600
Er, no, no, we don't have time for the
real Amsterdam, we're seeing this one.
951
00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:28,400
Hey! Hey! Hey! Let's all calm...
Just calm down.
952
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:30,320
I am calm. He's the one who started it.
953
00:58:30,360 --> 00:58:33,200
The problem with this city is,
there's too many fucking bikes.
954
00:58:33,240 --> 00:58:35,600
(GRUNTS) Oh, get off!
68320
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.