All language subtitles for Last.Man.Standing.S09E13.WEBRip.x264-ION10

I left all my emergency numbers
in this folder here

in case something crazy happens.

What can happen?

You'll only be gone a week
and Chuck and I are here.

I'll be gone for a week;
you and Chuck are here.

-Crazy happens.

Dad, I'll be fine, okay?

You said yourself
that I was ready

to handle the store
for a trial run.

When it's something
this precious,

the thought of something going
wrong really drives me crazy.

Aw. That sounds sweet,

but he's talking
about the store.

No, I wasn't.
I was talking about K...

uh...

Kristin.

And what are you two
standing there for?

Oh, we've come to witness the...
the passing of the Iron Throne.

-Yeah.
-The conquering of Mount Ego.

And the breaking
of your high horse.

Can she control the power
of the One Chair?

Or will she simply stand?

Okay, gentlemen,
you've had your fun.

Let's let my dad finish
his instructions in peace.

You hear her? Look at that.

She's getting rid of us
just like the old man.

Outstanding.

Mm-hmm. She's a natural.

-Like Frank Sinatra Jr.,
only good.

Doobie-doobie... get out.

We believe in you,
even if he has his doubts.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Listen, I don't have any doubts.
I know you can do this.

-Really?
-Yes, yes.

Is that why you picked
the slow period for my trial run

as Supreme Ruler?

That's what I'm changing
my title to, by the way.

Stuff happens, honey,
stuff happens.

You know, everybody thinks
they can fly the plane

until the props stop.
You remember that, right?

-Dad, I've got this, okay?
-Okay.

If you think about it,
I've been training under you

-my entire life.
-Right.

I just don't know
if you were paying attention.

Are you gonna stand there
gabbing at me all day,

or am I gonna get
some work done?

You were paying attention.

All right. Do well.

Doobie-doobie...

out.

Boy, Sarah and Evelyn have
really enjoyed this sandbox.

Hmm.

Everyone likes a private beach.

Zuckerberg's is on Kauai--

which, ironically, is public
knowledge on the Internet.

Oh.

Yeah, but now they're running
around a lot more,

I-I think they need
something more active.

A jungle gym?

Or, more correctly,
a jungle "Jill"?

I was thinking more of a seesaw.

I mean, the girls love it
at the park.

-Hey, Mrs. B.
Hey.

Hey. I got your text. What's up?

Um, we were thinking of

upgrading the girls'
play area.

Oh, like a rocket ship,
with flames on the side?

We're thinking jungle Jill.

No, actually,
we were thinking seesaw.

I mean, all kids enjoy a seesaw.

Not all kids.

Not the kids left
dangling in the air

because they weigh less
than all the other kids.

I'm guessing.

Well, you know,
all kids enjoy rocket ships.

Even the light ones.

Because in space,
everybody is weightless.

Well, I-I think the point is
to tucker them out.

And in a rocket ship,
you just sit there.

But a seesaw, it's a--

it's a vigorous regimen
of squat thrusts.

Hey, guys.

Hey. Hey, oh, hi.

-How'd it go with Kris?

Well, Kris has been
the acting CEO for 30 minutes

-and she's killing it.
-Ah.

So, what are we doing here?

We're talking about building
something for the girls.

Oh. I have a week off

and now I've got a big
construction project, right?

No, no, no, honey,
we don't need your help.

-I am going to be the project
manager on this one.
Oh.

-Perfect.
Yeah.

But just remember,
construction's not like cooking.

You can't solve everything
with salt.

No, don't trust him.

He doesn't love you,
he loves chess.

Hey. Kyle here?

No. Shh.

Oh. You're watching
that miniseries

about the girl who plays chess?

It's amazing.

Oof!

You have something
you want to say?

Oh, no. No, no. Enjoy.

It's just that it has
a lot of inaccuracies.

Well, I think it's super fun.

Uh, yeah. I imagine
it would be super fun

for somebody that knows
nothing about chess,

but, uh, for me, no fun.

'Cause I know
so much about chess.

Uh-huh.

Yep.

Won more than a few
tournaments back in Canada.

Few trophies.

Mom had to buy a new shelf.

Wow, I... I didn't realize
you were so good.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I don't like to brag.

I mean, I-I would teach you,

but honestly,
even with an expert like me,

it would probably take years
to get you to a level

where it would even be fun
to beat you.

Okay. Well, if you don't think
you can teach me...

Oh, no, no. I can. I can.

I mean, actually,
it'd probably be, uh,

wasting this wealth of knowledge
to not share it with you.

Great. I'm excited.

Me, too.

It's been, uh, been a while
since I pushed ivory.

Slid glass.

Waltzed with the wooden queen.

Ah, it's chess slang.
You'll learn.

I was wondering
how long it would take you

to check on your daughter.

I'm not checking on her,
I'm-I'm checking on you.

So... how's she doing?

I think she's got
what it takes, Mikey.

Yeah, she's like a young,
pretty version of you.

I'm a young,
pretty version of me.

She's been all over the store,

speaking to the staff, asking
questions, reading reports.

It's like--
like we used to, remember?

I still have a lot of questions.

Like, for instance...

what do you do around here?

Hey, boss.

Hey, Dad. That was quick.

Well, a little bird told me

you're already kicking butt
in here.

That little bird, uh,

still staring at the donuts?

Yep. Still is.

Right out...

You moved my tanks.

Yeah. I didn't think
you would mind.

You'd be wrong.

Well, I haven't heard
from you in a week,

so, uh, I'm assuming
that everything's going okay.

Uh... yeah. Yeah.

It's a... it's a lot to take in.

Ah, I wouldn't know about that,

since I've only run
the store for 30 years.

Uh, I am dealing
with a... situation.

Um... But I'll just, I'll just
figure it out, I guess.

No, no. No, that's all right.
What's the problem?

Oh, no. Not-not a problem.

Um...

Just... a question

-about something.
-Hey, perfect.

Perfect. You've got questions,
I've got answers.

I'm standing right here.
We could do it now,

or we could talk
about it next Monday.

I-It can probably wait.

Wait a minute.
Is this about firing Ed?

-No.

We can't fire Ed.

I think about it all the time.

No, can't do it.

-Yeah, it's not about Ed.
-Okay.

It's-it's about Chuck.

Chuck? Oh...

Forget about... You probably
heard me bust his balls.

We do that all the time.

Nobody works harder than Chuck
around here.

-Other than me. Chuck is great.

-It's all good.
-Yeah, no, I know he's great.

I'm going through
the security reports

for shoplifting incidents

and he's really,
really thorough.

-Yes.
-You know, like really detailed.

It's great.

So what...
what's the problem with that?

Honey, I've been running
this store a long time.

There isn't one issue that I
haven't come up against, okay?

So what is it?

I think Chuck's a racist.

That's a new one.

I might have
to sit down for this one.

-Mm.
-Okay, so...

you think Chuck is a racist.

No, no, I'm not,
I'm not saying he is one.

I'm just concerned
about something

that makes me think
he-he might be.

Oh.

You're probably talking about
the nickname he uses for me.

He only says that 'cause he
knows how much I love saltines.

No.

No, I-I don't think he's racist
against white people.

I-It's about how
he treats Black people.

You-you know Chuck is
a Black person?

-Mm.
-I'm-I'm sure you probably
are aware of that.

When there's
a shoplifting incident,

it looks like Chuck has
two different approaches.

One for white kids,
and one for Black kids.

Teenage shoplifters,
you're talking about?

Yeah, mostly teenagers.

Right. So what's
the different approach you see?

Well, when a white kid gets
stopped, it's really quick--

the stuff they took
gets recovered,

and then they get banned
from the store.

-Right, that's store policy.
-Yeah.

Same policy we kick people
out of the store that say,

-"Hey, you. Workin' hard?
Or hardly workin'?"

And when it's a Black kid,
it's the same thing,

except, um, well,
then he also takes them up

to the interview room,
sometimes for an hour.

What do you think
he's doing up there?

Hitting 'em with a sock
full of pennies?

No, stop that. I don't know.

I don't know. It's not in here.

Well, what do you think
the problem is?

It's unequal treatment
based off of race, Dad.

Okay.

So what did Chuck say when
you asked him about that?

What?

I-I haven't.

I mean, uh, uh, not-not yet.

You're going to ask him,
though, right?

I-I...

Yeah. Yeah, I-I suppose.

Good, good. Yeah.

It's just really awkward,
you know?

Sure. Sure, that'll be awkward.

Chuck is a good friend of mine.

And-and he's been
a big supporter

of me training
to take over the store.

-Yes, he has.
-I don't know what to do.

I think you do know what to do,

you just don't want to do it.

Sitting in that chair
is not as easy as it looks.

-Try to enjoy your day.
-Ah.

So, again,
the rook can only move

on the parallel and
perpendicular axes of the board.

Okay, can we just play, please?

I think I have it.

I don't think you do, okay?

This is not Go Fish.

The little one can only
go forward,

the fancy pepper grinder
goes diagonal,

and the horsey does
a one, two step.

Let's play, please.

Okay.

I will try
and take it easy on you.

One, two step.

What's wrong?
Did I do something wrong?

No, you...

won.

Really? How?

With the bishop...

Ah! The pepper grinder.

Okay. You know what?

This happens.

Sometimes the boldness
of an unexperienced player

can result in a fluke win.

Let's just play again.

Okay.

Everyone back to position.

Okay, watch this.

My castle's going
to kill your king.

Sorry, sire.

Again.

Impossible.

This is so fun.
You want to play again?

No.

I have to...

go.

Are you sure? I-I-I was
really getting the hang

of this "pushing ivory" thing.

And then you run
this threaded rod through here

and just place the washers
and nuts on the exterior faces.

Wow. How do you know all this?

Oh, look, Kyle,
six years of graduate school.

And seven minutes
on the Internet.

"
how to build a seesaw."

-Yeah.
-Nice.

Hey, look, don't tell Mike.

He hates it he had to learn
everything the hard way

and it's available
at the touch of a button.

Yeah, well, I had a thought.

A-And just.... just hear me out.

But what if the seesaw
was on a rocket ship?

Look, it's-it's...
it's kind of an either-or.

So either we build a seesaw

or we build something silly
like your idea.

-Hey. Hey, guys.
-Hey. Hey. Hi.

What, uh... what's in the box?

One of my tanks from work.

Somebody snapped the .50 caliber
right off my Sherman.

Okay. All right. Sorry I asked.

Well, I'm-I'm gonna take off,
but, uh, you know what?

Maybe I'm gonna print out
some pictures of rocket ships,

you know, just to help you see
what I'm talking about.

Yeah, that-that would be
very helpful, Kyle,

because as a scientist,
I've never seen a rocket ship.

What's up here?

Wow. Is he like that at work?

He gets an idea in his head,
and he just won't let it go.

-What was his idea?

He wants to build a rocket ship
instead of a seesaw.

-Oh.
-Please, it's basically

a gazebo
with flames on the side.

Did he tell you why he wanted
to build a rocket ship?

Hmm? Yeah, no, of cour...

Right, uh... Wait. Why?

He didn't tell you?

Well, I... Yeah.

I don't know. Maybe.

You-you tell me,
and I'll see if I remember.

His dad told him
he'd build him a rocket ship

right before he left
and never came back.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy, wow.

I would've remembered that. I...

Yeah, he probably wants
to build something for Sarah

as a way of telling Sarah
that he's never gonna leave.

Of course he does.

Right. So, what did you say

when he said he wanted
to build a rocket ship?

I... I mean, I...

-I said it was silly.
-Ah.

Well, you know, you know,
there's always the seesaw.

People love them.
They-they got their ups

-and-and their downs.

You... honey, honey,
you got this.

Hey. Kristin?

Thank you for coming.

Uh, have a seat.

Damn.

This is like being called
into the principal's office

for getting in trouble.

No, no, no, no trouble.

No, just, um...

I was going through
your incident reports, and...

Uh, well, great job, by the way.

-Thanks.
-Yeah.

But?

Okay, I-I happened to...
to identify a trend

in which you seem
to allocate attention

to incidents disproportionately

when the party involved
belongs...

to a specific demographic.

Say that again.

You hold Black kids who shoplift
longer than you hold white kids.

Oh.

Yeah.

Anything else?

And it needs to stop.

No.

Well... u-um,

you don't think
treating people differently

because of their race
is a problem?

Here's the problem.

Black kids don't have
the same luxury

to make mistakes as other kids.

Yeah, yeah, I know, but...

A-And the next time one of
these kids deals with the law,

the consequences may be
far more serious

than being banned from a store.

I may be the last person
of authority

who encounters these kids

who actually takes the time
to talk with them.

So... no, I...

I can't stop.

-I never thought of that.

Uh, what'd you think?

I was being racist?

-Yeah, yeah,
that's what I thought.
-Okay...

My gosh.

My first week in charge,
and I totally blew it.

I guess I-I'm...
I'm not ready for the big chair.

Man, being in the big chair

is not about having
all the answers.

It's about having the courage

and the willingness
to go find them.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Oh, and, uh...

...you are doing a great job,
little lady.

"Little lady"?

Sit down, Chuck. We have to have
a little chat about sexism.

Oh.

She went there, and...

How?

Hi. What's the emergency?

Oh, uh, sit down.
I've been doing some thinking.

O-Okay, so no emergency.

I finally figured out
what happened.

It's rare,
but what happened was, uh,

you got lucky.

Every game?

Yeah. Yeah.

Technically,
it's statistically possible

and, uh, really
the only explanation.

Well, I have another.

I'm better at chess than you.

I was a junior grand master
in Canada. Okay?

I won a 16-and-under tournament
when I was 11.

I... You call it
a pepper grinder!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

No yelling unless
there's football on.

There's no football.
What's the yelling?

-Sorry.
-What's going on?

Ryan just taught me
how to play chess,

and he's mad because I beat him.

There's no shame in losing
a chess game, you know...

or two.

Three?

Ouch.

Yeah.

Three in a row.

I guess I'm just a natural.

Yeah. That's what it is.

It was luck, okay?

I am a very skilled player,
and you are...

well, you know, you're...
you're you.

I think it's time for you
to get off your high horsey, eh?

-Bye.

What?

At what point are you
going to tell him

that I taught you how
to play chess like 20 years ago?

Did you?

We played like every night
until you were a teenager.

Did we?

You want to play?

Hell yeah.

All right, King,

where do you want me
to put the castle?

Good evening, Your Majesty.

-Hey.
-Oh, hey.

Ready to get to work?

Yeah, sure am.

Wait, uh, don't we just need

one really long piece of wood
to build a seesaw?

Well, actually,
slight change of plans.

I thought we might
go with a rocket ship.

With flames on the side?

Duh. It's a rocket ship.

All right, we need to move
these sawhorses

a little bit closer together,
and we'll need Mr. B.'s

circular saw and his
manual hinge boring machine

and wood chisel.

We'll start with the base,
where the rocket boosters go,

then we'll do the side panels,
where the flames go.

Hello!

Uh, I-I printed some plans
off the Internet,

in case you wanted
to have a look.

Oh, no, I... I got this.

Yeah, and we'll also need
to build handles

to help move around
in zero gravity.

Three, two, one, blastoff!

Are you sure you're okay
giving up the seesaw?

You seem a little sad.

No.

I'm really happy.

All right, come on, come on.
Let's-let's get to work.

This thing's not
gonna build itself.

Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man.

At least that's
how it appears, right?

I look like Baxter.
I sound like Baxter.

But as hunters,
we're always messing

with appearance versus reality.

It's called camouflage.

We wear camo so we appear to be
part of the harmless landscape.

But in reality,
we're an apex predator

who has already made
the blackberry sauce

for the venison
who thinks we're a tree.

We're hunters.
We can't be trusted.

By the time the duck is
flirting with the decoy

-and it's not quacking back...

...too late, ducky.

Of course, it's not just
in the wild

where appearances can deceive.

Though hopefully
the consequences aren't as bad

as they are
for the deer and the duck.

A tall blonde might be
great at chess, right?

The gruff head of security
might be extra hard on you

because he actually cares
about you.

And a sweet kid might want
a rocket ship

not so he can fly to the stars

but so he can feel grounded
right here on planet Earth.

Of course, some things
are exactly as they appear,

no matter how hard it is
to believe.

Like our 30% off sale
on all our camouflage!

Now you see it, now you don't.

Baxter out.

Look, I realize that
this is a lot

of information
to take in all at once,

so don't be embarrassed
if you have any questions.

A-And don't be intimidated

by my excellence and
long history as a chess player.

I mean, what I really enjoy most
is teaching,

so, you know,
take advantage of that

and soak up all the knowledge
you can from me.

So, what do you think?
Should we, uh, try a game?

Well, it's certainly

more complex than checkers,
but...

there's nothing I like better
than, you know,

learning from an expert.

-So I say let's play.
-Okay.

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Don't miss the final season
of Last Man Standing.