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1
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,637
Excited about the food fair?
2
00:00:08,742 --> 00:00:09,782
Honey, bourbon, sausage--
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,483
three great ingredients
on their own,
4
00:00:11,579 --> 00:00:13,649
but together, it's like
the-the Reagan of meats.
5
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:15,818
Oh, I'm sorry, Dad.
6
00:00:15,916 --> 00:00:17,286
I got to take a rain check.
7
00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,621
What do you mean, a rain check?
8
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,146
We've been planning this
for weeks.
9
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,088
I've been fasting.
You know...
10
00:00:22,156 --> 00:00:24,456
Well, for not that long.
11
00:00:24,525 --> 00:00:26,755
I know, but I don't want
to take Sarah away.
12
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:30,197
She's having too much fun
in the sandbox right now.
13
00:00:30,331 --> 00:00:31,701
Oh, oh, sweetheart, um,
14
00:00:31,832 --> 00:00:33,202
n-no sand in the shoes.
15
00:00:34,468 --> 00:00:35,538
Y...
16
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:37,609
You put the sand
in the shoes. Okay.
17
00:00:38,506 --> 00:00:40,136
What do you mean? I thought Kris
was going to watch her.
18
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:43,638
Uh, Sarah and Evelyn are taking
some time apart from each other.
19
00:00:43,711 --> 00:00:46,981
What, are they seeing
other babies?
20
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:51,147
Evelyn has become really bossy,
and it's really annoying.
21
00:00:51,219 --> 00:00:52,719
What's going on?
22
00:00:52,853 --> 00:00:54,363
You don't want to hear
about my problems.
23
00:00:54,488 --> 00:00:55,888
I don't want to hear
about anybody's problems,
24
00:00:56,023 --> 00:00:58,733
but d-d-damn it, you're my kid.
25
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:00,159
You sure?
26
00:01:00,228 --> 00:01:01,698
Yeah, yeah. Uh...
27
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:03,795
Listen,
I'll-I'll text the sausage guy.
28
00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:05,574
I don't want him worrying.
29
00:01:13,541 --> 00:01:16,811
Well, every game the girls play,
Evelyn has to be the leader.
30
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,907
If they're playing Moana,
Evelyn is always Moana.
31
00:01:19,046 --> 00:01:21,216
If they're playing Frozen,
Evelyn's always Elsa.
32
00:01:21,349 --> 00:01:22,719
Right, I get it.
33
00:01:22,850 --> 00:01:26,720
'Cause when we play Toy Story
I gotta be Woody.
34
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:29,715
Even when they pretend
Floor Is Lava,
35
00:01:29,857 --> 00:01:31,427
Kristin's always in charge
of the countdown.
36
00:01:31,559 --> 00:01:33,059
You mean Evelyn.
37
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,561
Yeah, that's what I said.
Evelyn.
38
00:01:34,662 --> 00:01:36,162
She's always bossing
Sarah around.
39
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:38,500
Which is not uncommon
for the older one.
40
00:01:38,566 --> 00:01:40,726
-It's like Kris
used to do to you.
-Exactly.
41
00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:43,904
So the apple doesn't fall
far from the tree.
42
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:46,074
You and your old-timey sayings.
43
00:01:46,207 --> 00:01:48,507
Shouldn't you be whittling?
44
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:51,206
Let me put it
so you'll understand it.
45
00:01:51,279 --> 00:01:52,709
You're just pissed because
46
00:01:52,780 --> 00:01:56,380
Kris used to do the same thing
to you, dawg.
47
00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,050
Don't be ridiculous.
48
00:02:00,621 --> 00:02:03,421
Oh, my God, that's totally
what's happening.
49
00:02:03,524 --> 00:02:06,194
By the way, you did
the same thing to Eve.
50
00:02:06,260 --> 00:02:07,760
Yeah, I don't care if I did it,
okay?
51
00:02:07,861 --> 00:02:09,631
I don't like it when
Kristin does it.
52
00:02:09,763 --> 00:02:11,233
And I don't want Sarah to have
to go through the same thing.
53
00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:13,299
It's always bad to be bossy.
54
00:02:13,434 --> 00:02:14,704
Yeah, so bad.
55
00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:16,198
-Always.
-Always.
56
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,610
Where are you going with this?
57
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:19,869
Give me a minute.
58
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:22,380
Let me, um,
let me set the scene here,
59
00:02:22,443 --> 00:02:24,113
-all right?
-Okay.
60
00:02:24,245 --> 00:02:26,875
So it was, um,
during the pandemic.
61
00:02:26,947 --> 00:02:29,217
Ugh, oh, boy,
you and Kyle had just got those
62
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,953
new air filtration
space helmets.
63
00:02:32,085 --> 00:02:33,785
Hey, those helmets were better
than the masks.
64
00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:35,961
-Were they?
-Yeah. People were depressed.
65
00:02:36,056 --> 00:02:38,486
They needed to see this.
66
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:42,804
Anyhow, you guys barged
into the office
67
00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:44,930
and I thought
it was being invaded
68
00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,268
by really goofy space aliens.
69
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,242
I'm sorry, if you want me
to take you to my leader,
70
00:02:51,305 --> 00:02:52,635
you're looking at him.
71
00:02:54,242 --> 00:02:56,182
Dad, we have a problem.
72
00:02:56,310 --> 00:02:57,410
Condensation?
73
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,978
No. That's not it.
74
00:02:59,112 --> 00:03:02,782
Well-- well, it kind of is,
but not at the moment.
75
00:03:02,850 --> 00:03:05,420
We just got off the phone
with our OB.
76
00:03:05,486 --> 00:03:07,086
And because of COVID,
77
00:03:07,154 --> 00:03:09,864
there are all these new and
stupid rules at the hospital.
78
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:12,830
Well, the hospital is a perfect
place for stupid rules.
79
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,656
Otherwise, it's just
a well-lit building
80
00:03:14,762 --> 00:03:17,332
with a bunch of half-naked
people walking around
81
00:03:17,465 --> 00:03:18,925
who are kind of sick.
82
00:03:18,999 --> 00:03:20,929
That's the problem.
What if our baby gets sick?
83
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:22,771
Or one of us?
It's getting really scary.
84
00:03:22,836 --> 00:03:24,666
-Okay. All right.
-Yeah. What do you think
we should do?
85
00:03:24,772 --> 00:03:26,142
I think you should calm down.
86
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,306
I think everything's
gonna be fine.
87
00:03:27,375 --> 00:03:28,975
Somehow, when you say it,
88
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:30,842
I believe it.
89
00:03:30,978 --> 00:03:33,508
You might want to check
with another family member
90
00:03:33,614 --> 00:03:35,384
who had a baby
during a pandemic.
91
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:36,716
Oh! Kristin had Evelyn
92
00:03:36,850 --> 00:03:38,190
right at the beginning
of the pandemic.
93
00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:39,889
We should've just talked
to her first.
94
00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,290
No, it's good to come to me.
95
00:03:41,355 --> 00:03:42,785
I know a lot
about a lot of things--
96
00:03:42,856 --> 00:03:45,226
parenting, tank warfare,
Steve McQueen movies...
97
00:03:45,359 --> 00:03:47,229
Whoa, easy, Dad.
Nobody likes a know-it-all.
98
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:50,461
...motorcycles,
Don Knotts movies,
99
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,901
why Don Lemon wears
that weird outfit.
100
00:03:57,571 --> 00:03:59,841
-Hey.
-Stop!
101
00:04:01,842 --> 00:04:04,352
Okay, you're negative.
Come on in.
102
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,876
It may be a pain in the ass
getting tested all the time,
103
00:04:09,016 --> 00:04:10,476
but it's worth it.
104
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:13,821
And the nurse says I have
the nostrils of a 20-year-old.
105
00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:16,517
Finally picked
this thing up.
106
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,030
Only took me three hours.
Curbside.
107
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:22,062
It's not like I made
an appointment or anything.
108
00:04:22,162 --> 00:04:23,362
Well, it's for a good cause.
109
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,271
Mandy and Kyle's baby gift.
110
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:26,729
Hey, I thought you were
going to let me
111
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:28,504
put a few bucks in on this, Ed.
112
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,499
Oh, come on...
-Unless you think I already did.
113
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,571
In which case,
I'm glad I contributed.
114
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:34,066
It doesn't matter
who paid for it.
115
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,914
We agreed it would come
from all of us.
116
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,613
-Just like we bought
for you guys.
-Yeah.
117
00:04:37,745 --> 00:04:39,775
Oh, actually,
this is the Rock-A-Tot Two.
118
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:41,723
So it's got even
more features than ours.
119
00:04:41,782 --> 00:04:43,082
I mean, you can control
this sucker
120
00:04:43,183 --> 00:04:44,593
from, like, two blocks away
with your phone.
121
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,718
Oh. They don't recommend that,
though.
122
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:49,187
Uh, Ryan, would you please
just load that in my car
123
00:04:49,256 --> 00:04:50,686
and I'll drive it over later?
124
00:04:50,758 --> 00:04:53,528
Yeah. So glad I dragged it
all the way upstairs.
125
00:04:53,594 --> 00:04:55,034
Oh, come on, stop.
126
00:04:55,095 --> 00:04:57,925
Hey, um, why don't we, uh,
put it together for them
127
00:04:58,065 --> 00:04:59,365
before we take it over?
128
00:04:59,433 --> 00:05:01,303
I mean, they're going
to have a new baby.
129
00:05:01,435 --> 00:05:03,135
They don't have time
to build furniture.
130
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:05,240
-They're not Amish.
-Mm.
131
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,765
Good. Good, then it's settled.
132
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:08,607
-We build it.
Right.
133
00:05:08,709 --> 00:05:11,279
-And by "we," I mean you two.
134
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,649
No problem.
135
00:05:12,780 --> 00:05:15,720
I rebuilt a 1970 Plymouth
Barracuda last week.
136
00:05:15,783 --> 00:05:17,493
I think I can handle a crib.
137
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:19,788
And I replaced the batteries
in the remote control.
138
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,617
So I guess
we are both pretty handy.
139
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,492
Yeah.
We'll knock this out over lunch.
140
00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:25,294
Oh, that's perfect.
141
00:05:25,393 --> 00:05:27,233
But I'm available
if-if you need me.
142
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:29,134
Just... don't need me.
143
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,302
-Okay. All right.
-All right.
144
00:05:31,399 --> 00:05:32,829
Let's see what
we are dealing with here.
145
00:05:32,966 --> 00:05:34,496
-Hold that part right there...
-Doesn't look too bad.
146
00:05:34,635 --> 00:05:36,795
...and I will...
147
00:05:41,775 --> 00:05:43,975
Oh, hell no.
148
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,083
You know,
it just breaks my heart
149
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,121
to hear how scared
our little girl is.
150
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,186
How scared our little girl was.
151
00:05:55,322 --> 00:05:58,162
Yeah. Well, hopefully,
Kristin can calm her down.
152
00:05:58,291 --> 00:05:59,691
That was a good idea, honey.
153
00:05:59,827 --> 00:06:01,627
Yeah. I wonder what it's like
to have a bad idea.
154
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,425
I mean,
having no frame of reference,
155
00:06:03,497 --> 00:06:05,497
it's just difficult
to know that.
156
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:08,473
It just, it kills me
that I am not going to be
157
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:10,436
in the room with Mandy
when she gives birth.
158
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,474
Well, the hospital's the right
place to do it. They're...
159
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,510
-they're taking the necessary
precautions, honey.
-Yeah.
160
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:17,382
You know, I...
I do have a PhD.
161
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,351
What-what if I tell them
I'm a doctor?
162
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:21,350
Vanessa.
163
00:06:21,482 --> 00:06:22,852
I just want to be with her.
164
00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:24,820
You know, just pat her arm
when she's nervous,
165
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:26,485
tell her she's doing great,
166
00:06:26,554 --> 00:06:28,024
or just... just brush her hair.
167
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:30,721
Damn it, that's what you do
to me when I'm drunk.
168
00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,355
-Hello, parents.
-Hey, guys.
169
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,204
Hi. How's it going, hon?
170
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:37,498
-Hi.
-Good. I am,
I am feeling much better.
171
00:06:37,565 --> 00:06:39,025
And Kris has been so amazing.
172
00:06:39,166 --> 00:06:40,866
She helped me realize
173
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,301
that I can have
a safe and natural birth.
174
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,170
Well, that's great,
since Kris helped you do that,
175
00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:47,708
but I helped you figure out
Kris was the right person.
176
00:06:47,808 --> 00:06:49,678
So who's the real hero? Really?
177
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,583
Says the only one in the room
178
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:53,482
who will never push a head
through a cervix.
179
00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:57,022
Mandy hasn't, either... yet.
180
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:58,854
-Sorry.
-Sorry. You know what, honey?
181
00:06:58,919 --> 00:07:00,649
I'm sure the hospital will
do everything they can
182
00:07:00,721 --> 00:07:02,221
to make you feel comfortable.
183
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:05,362
Well, I-I'm not going to have
the baby at the hospital.
184
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,425
I'm gonna have a home birth.
185
00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:09,831
Huh. Wow, that's...
186
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,167
that's awfully generous
of Kristin and Ryan.
187
00:07:13,567 --> 00:07:15,037
Well, no, Dad,
188
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:17,242
I'm...
I'm gonna give birth here.
189
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:20,739
I-Is it too late
for me to suggest
190
00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:22,941
you might wait
to have this child?
191
00:07:29,583 --> 00:07:31,853
So you're gonna give birth
at home?
192
00:07:31,919 --> 00:07:33,089
This home?
I mean, our hom--
193
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:34,916
I mean, my home?
194
00:07:35,723 --> 00:07:37,693
-Home births are
completely safe.
195
00:07:37,758 --> 00:07:39,628
And lots of couples
are doing them.
196
00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,430
And for thousands of years,
197
00:07:41,529 --> 00:07:42,959
nobody ever gave birth
in a hospital.
198
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,766
They also didn't have
motor vehicles.
199
00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,765
Why don't you just pop one out
in a pickup truck?
200
00:07:47,901 --> 00:07:50,571
No, we... we are here
for you, honey.
201
00:07:50,638 --> 00:07:53,308
This, uh-- It's gonna be
the best home birth ever.
202
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:54,580
Thank you, Mom.
203
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:55,942
Oh, this is so cool.
204
00:07:56,043 --> 00:07:57,613
Mandy will be able
to manage her birth plan,
205
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:59,605
and the whole family
will get to be there.
206
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,617
Oh, I love this.
207
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,219
You know, we-we can
use the photo
208
00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,723
for the Christmas newsletter.
209
00:08:04,785 --> 00:08:07,815
What? Christmas is not
about the birth of a baby.
210
00:08:08,789 --> 00:08:10,119
It's the perfect solution, okay?
211
00:08:10,257 --> 00:08:12,087
Hospitals aren't allowing
visitors these days,
212
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,789
but this way we get
to all be together.
213
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:15,127
Why don't we just do it
at a hotel?
214
00:08:15,262 --> 00:08:17,972
The mattresses couldn't
get any worse.
215
00:08:18,065 --> 00:08:19,965
-Thank you, thank you,
thank you.
-Oh, yeah. Mwah.
216
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:21,667
-I love you.
-Love you. Bye.
-Okay.
217
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:22,972
Let's go e-mail that midwife.
We want to book her
218
00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,613
before some other preggo
gets your spot.
219
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:26,512
We-We're not gonna even look
at other options?
220
00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:27,810
What if we rent an RV?
221
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,308
Wait a minute,
I own a tent store.
222
00:08:29,409 --> 00:08:30,479
Okay, wait, wait. Wait.
223
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,508
You-you need to be
a good father, okay,
224
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:36,177
and support your daughter when
she needs her mother the most.
225
00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:37,986
If she was gonna have the baby
in the hospital,
226
00:08:38,118 --> 00:08:39,948
then I wouldn't get to be there,
and now I will.
227
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,820
But why-why does everybody
want to be at a birth?
228
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,315
I mean, it's just a birthday
without the cake
229
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:45,186
-and the presents.
-I know.
230
00:08:45,325 --> 00:08:46,655
Mandy wants this.
231
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,704
So do I, and you,
232
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,699
you are gonna be
fully supportive.
233
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,371
-Okay?
-I can't. Can't.
234
00:08:52,499 --> 00:08:53,829
I don't have a cervix.
235
00:08:58,371 --> 00:09:00,171
It still doesn't fit.
236
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:03,107
See, you have to line up
part D with the other part D.
237
00:09:03,176 --> 00:09:04,846
-Yes, I know that, Chuck.
-Uh-huh.
238
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,508
Your method of saying it
over and over again
239
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,817
-doesn't seem to be helping.
-Hey, man.
240
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,122
Hey, man, you want to try
to make sense out of this?
241
00:09:10,183 --> 00:09:11,693
-I can barely read it.
-Well, yeah.
242
00:09:11,819 --> 00:09:12,949
That's 'cause you won't
wear your glasses,
243
00:09:13,020 --> 00:09:14,190
which is a little vain.
244
00:09:15,522 --> 00:09:17,192
-I'll wear my glasses.
-Okay.
245
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,460
I am not vain.
246
00:09:18,525 --> 00:09:20,385
-It's not gonna make
a difference.
-Mm-hmm.
247
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:21,697
It's still gonna be a...
248
00:09:21,829 --> 00:09:23,359
Oh, that's a "B," not a "D."
249
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,203
-My bad.
-Will you just give me
the instructions, please?
250
00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,068
-No, no, I got
the instructions now.
-Chuck.
251
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:29,170
I got the glasses.
I can see now.
252
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:32,873
I thought this thing
would be built by now.
253
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:35,213
-I mean, didn't you read
the instructions?
254
00:09:36,543 --> 00:09:38,983
Yes, Ed.
We read the instructions.
255
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,976
Ryan isn't much of a builder.
256
00:09:41,048 --> 00:09:42,078
-Oh, me?
-Yeah, you.
257
00:09:42,215 --> 00:09:43,715
What ever happened to Mister...
258
00:09:43,817 --> 00:09:44,987
"I rebuilt a '70 Barracuda"?
259
00:09:47,688 --> 00:09:48,988
This is way more complicated
260
00:09:49,056 --> 00:09:50,216
than the one we built
for Evelyn.
261
00:09:50,357 --> 00:09:53,687
I mean, it's got,
uh, touch screen, Wi-Fi.
262
00:09:53,761 --> 00:09:54,931
She's an infant.
263
00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:57,232
She's sitting in her own poop.
264
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,730
I'm sorry, I just...
I just don't get it.
265
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:02,373
I slept in a dresser drawer
till I was three.
266
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:05,165
How did you breathe?
267
00:10:06,239 --> 00:10:08,209
It wasn't closed.
268
00:10:08,275 --> 00:10:11,075
Unless my parents
were having a party.
269
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:14,915
Well, don't worry, Ed.
We'll... we'll-we'll get this.
270
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,418
Yeah, all we have to do is, uh,
install the second motor
271
00:10:17,517 --> 00:10:19,387
-and the rocker arm.
-Yeah.
272
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,422
All right, I guess
I'll get tested again.
273
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:23,722
Clear out the old nostrils.
274
00:10:23,791 --> 00:10:25,791
It beats blowing your nose.
275
00:10:30,630 --> 00:10:33,270
So, we had a great
virtual meeting with Sunshine,
276
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,626
the midwife Kris found.
277
00:10:34,768 --> 00:10:36,638
Sunshine?
What do they call her at night?
278
00:10:36,770 --> 00:10:38,310
Oh. Moonbeam.
279
00:10:38,438 --> 00:10:40,968
She said that Mandy was
the perfect candidate
280
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:45,108
for home birth, and she's, like,
the most soothing human being
281
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,605
I have ever met.
282
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,617
Oh, yeah.
She put me right at ease.
283
00:10:48,749 --> 00:10:51,049
And I know this isn't
the most modern thing to say,
284
00:10:51,118 --> 00:10:53,218
but I wouldn't have been
as comfortable
285
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:55,586
with a mid-husband.
286
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,255
Well, this is great, guys.
287
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,894
And you know what, we are
a hundred percent supportive.
288
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,460
-Right, Mike?
-Oh, yeah, I'm really into it.
289
00:11:01,561 --> 00:11:03,101
I'm actually thinking
of using the house
290
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,773
for other medical procedures.
291
00:11:04,832 --> 00:11:06,802
Using that big old garden hose
out front
292
00:11:06,900 --> 00:11:09,070
for my next colonoscopy.
293
00:11:10,804 --> 00:11:12,514
So, tell us more.
How's this gonna work?
294
00:11:12,639 --> 00:11:16,279
-Well, I guess you put a GoPro
on the nozzle, then...
-Kyle!
295
00:11:16,343 --> 00:11:18,613
No, no, no. Honey, I think she's
talking about the home birth.
296
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,248
It's very important
297
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,253
to keep the energy
around the birth nice and calm.
298
00:11:22,315 --> 00:11:25,445
Sunshine has some
299
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,448
Enya, harp solos, Kenny G.
300
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:30,090
-Oh.
-I thought she wanted
the baby to come out.
301
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:31,757
Uh, and I'm gonna have
a natural birth,
302
00:11:31,825 --> 00:11:33,155
-so no drugs.
Mm-hmm.
303
00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:35,000
You will be fine.
I didn't have any drugs, either.
304
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:36,995
I just dug my nails
into your father's forearm.
305
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:38,997
Yep, and I still have the...
306
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:40,469
Eve, Mandy and Kris.
307
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:43,503
I was hoping one day
you guys would sign them.
308
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:46,036
And to help Mandy relax,
she'll spend most of the labor
309
00:11:46,173 --> 00:11:48,283
in a shallow blow-up pool.
310
00:11:48,341 --> 00:11:49,881
Yeah, you're gonna look
beautiful,
311
00:11:50,010 --> 00:11:52,780
-like a big, pregnant mermaid.
-Oh, I love that.
312
00:11:52,846 --> 00:11:55,046
Fishy kiss.
313
00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,349
And then,
and then when it's time to push,
314
00:11:57,450 --> 00:11:59,120
we're gonna wrap her up
in warm towels
315
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:01,116
-and move her to the bed.
-Yeah. Sunshine said we...
316
00:12:01,188 --> 00:12:03,218
we should find the biggest, most
comfortable bed in the house.
317
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,156
Ha! That'd be the m...
the-the master bed?
318
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:07,025
-You-You're gonna do this
in our bed?
-Yes!
319
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:08,827
Of course, of course our bed.
320
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,996
Our granddaughter's
gonna be born in our bed.
321
00:12:11,064 --> 00:12:13,874
-Oh, it's such an honor.
-Oh, it's an honor
322
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:16,337
to break water in the bed
but not wind?
323
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,843
Okay.
324
00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,505
Thank you guys
for letting us do this.
325
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,642
It feels so much better
than going to a hospital.
326
00:12:21,708 --> 00:12:24,008
No, honey, this is fantastic.
You guys, you're gonna have
327
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:26,507
this beautiful experience
in our home,
328
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:29,579
a-and you'll be surrounded
by everybody who loves you.
329
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:31,476
Oh, uh, not quite everyone.
330
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:34,191
Uh,
only two people are allowed
331
00:12:34,254 --> 00:12:36,224
in the actual birthing room.
332
00:12:36,323 --> 00:12:37,763
Oh. Well, you know,
that's smart.
333
00:12:37,891 --> 00:12:39,491
I mean, safety should be
the first consideration,
334
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,389
and really, really,
you only need two.
335
00:12:41,528 --> 00:12:43,258
Yeah, and I'm gonna be
the birth coach.
336
00:12:43,396 --> 00:12:45,666
Perfect, since I
already have the whistle.
337
00:12:45,732 --> 00:12:48,442
Well, just don't blow
that whistle in my ear.
338
00:12:48,568 --> 00:12:51,168
Well, you won't have to worry
about that,
339
00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:54,738
because the other person
in the room is gonna be Kris.
340
00:12:54,842 --> 00:12:57,282
-Wait, hold on a minute.
Mandy, wait a second. Wait...
-What?
341
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,850
Wait, no, wait, no, let her...
let her finish.
342
00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:01,853
Yeah. She just had a baby,
and...
343
00:13:01,915 --> 00:13:04,275
and she's been helping me
so much, and I...
344
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:06,887
I can't imagine doing this
without my sister.
345
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,855
I love you so much! Oh!
346
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:11,963
Oh, boy. Somebody
better blow up that pool,
347
00:13:12,092 --> 00:13:14,432
'cause I'm about to fill it
with tears.
348
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:18,570
Uh, M-Mom, are-are...
349
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:21,941
-are you okay with this?
-Oh. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
350
00:13:22,035 --> 00:13:23,065
Are you sure?
351
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,268
Okay. Uh, great.
352
00:13:27,374 --> 00:13:30,714
Let's go to Dad's closet and
find a belt for you to bite on.
353
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,208
-I love you both so much.
-Yes, yes.
354
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,950
-Love you. Yep, yep.
-Yeah. That's great.
355
00:13:35,082 --> 00:13:36,622
Hey, hey, I'm proud of you.
356
00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:39,946
You said you'd support her
and you did...
357
00:13:41,121 --> 00:13:43,991
I think you actually drew
a little blood.
358
00:13:50,964 --> 00:13:53,504
All right, here.
359
00:13:53,633 --> 00:13:56,243
Whew! I can't believe
it's finally done.
360
00:13:56,303 --> 00:14:00,143
Don't tell Ed, but that's the
hardest I've worked in years.
361
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:01,810
I'm sorry I got snippy with you.
362
00:14:01,909 --> 00:14:03,479
I had caffeine a few days ago,
363
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:05,646
-and it's still buzzing
around the old dome.
-Yeah.
364
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:09,475
Yeah, and I'm sorry
I called you all those names.
365
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,786
It was just in my head,
but I still feel bad.
366
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,752
All right,
let's try this thing out.
367
00:14:14,821 --> 00:14:17,261
-Okay.
-Voice activation is on.
368
00:14:17,324 --> 00:14:20,594
-Yeah.
-Rock-A-Tot, rock.
369
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:25,103
Let me try.
370
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:27,665
Rock-A-Tot, rock.
371
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:33,370
Rock-A-Tot, rock.
372
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:35,614
What the hell?
373
00:14:35,675 --> 00:14:37,375
What kind of Rock-A-Tot
doesn't rock?
374
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:40,450
-Oh, whoa, whoa, hey,
there we go.
-Oh, hey.
375
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,523
-Oh, that's nice.
-Okay. That is nice.
376
00:14:42,615 --> 00:14:45,145
-Yeah, that's very nice.
-Okay. All right.
377
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:46,988
-Uh, uh...
-Whoa.
378
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:48,964
That's how
the robot uprising begins.
379
00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:51,362
-Uh, Rock-A-Tot, stop!
380
00:14:51,491 --> 00:14:53,231
Rock-A-Tot, calm the hell down!
381
00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:54,860
-Do something!
-Well, I can't...
382
00:14:54,995 --> 00:14:56,525
-I don't know what to do.
-You...
383
00:14:56,629 --> 00:14:57,559
You, get on the other...
384
00:14:57,697 --> 00:14:59,397
First... Okay, get this...
385
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,503
Maybe there's a-a cross...
386
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,399
Oh. Oh.
387
00:15:04,537 --> 00:15:06,707
Oh. Okay, Rock...
388
00:15:08,041 --> 00:15:09,811
-We killed it.
-Yeah.
389
00:15:09,876 --> 00:15:12,706
All right. No baby
should ever be in one of those,
390
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:16,522
unless it gets a trophy for
staying on for eight seconds.
391
00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,583
Gentlemen.
392
00:15:17,717 --> 00:15:20,847
I'm sorry, Ed.
393
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,920
I saw the horror.
394
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,056
I think I have something
that might help.
395
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:28,002
-Excuse me. Here you go.
-Oh.
396
00:15:28,061 --> 00:15:30,001
Now, it won't win
any tech awards,
397
00:15:30,063 --> 00:15:31,833
but I was drawn
to the simplicity.
398
00:15:31,898 --> 00:15:33,828
Oh, it's just a basinet.
399
00:15:33,900 --> 00:15:35,100
Mm-hmm.
400
00:15:35,235 --> 00:15:37,735
No touch screen, no Wi-Fi.
401
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,067
No demonic possession.
402
00:15:40,207 --> 00:15:42,077
We can return this damn machine
403
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,209
and give the cash
to Kyle and Mandy.
404
00:15:44,277 --> 00:15:45,577
-Yeah.
-That is a great idea.
405
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,082
They are gonna love this.
406
00:15:47,214 --> 00:15:49,584
In this thing,
she'll sleep like a rock.
407
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:50,682
Mm.
408
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:53,590
Oh, why'd you say that, Ed?
409
00:15:56,256 --> 00:15:58,286
It's not even plugged in!
410
00:15:58,425 --> 00:16:01,725
Go back to hell
where you came from!
411
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,274
-Hey.
-Hi.
412
00:16:09,369 --> 00:16:10,939
Got you a little gift.
413
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,438
Oh, thank you.
414
00:16:12,572 --> 00:16:14,372
Gosh, what do you get
the woman who has everything
415
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:18,711
except a place in the room where
her daughter's giving birth?
416
00:16:20,047 --> 00:16:22,277
It's, uh, merlot.
417
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:25,622
We can enjoy this bottle
when Mandy and Kris
418
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:29,318
and the witch doctor
are done destroying our bedroom.
419
00:16:29,456 --> 00:16:31,386
I know you're just trying
to make me feel better.
420
00:16:31,458 --> 00:16:33,088
Yeah, I'm
the worst husband ever.
421
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,760
You know what, honey,
don't patronize me.
422
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:37,427
-What?
-As the mother,
I really should be in there.
423
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:40,797
the father and then the mother
424
00:16:40,900 --> 00:16:43,300
and then-- who gives a crap,
because I would be in there.
425
00:16:43,403 --> 00:16:45,143
You know what I think?
426
00:16:45,272 --> 00:16:47,312
I think you and the merlot need
to breathe.
427
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,440
No, look, I was there
when Kristin had her babies.
428
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:54,110
I kept her calm, I soothed her
when she was nervous,
429
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:56,151
and I should be there
for Mandy, too.
430
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:57,823
You know, well,
I think Kris is doing
431
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,287
a lot of that stuff for Mandy.
432
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:02,162
Mandy feels, uh,
protected when Kris is there.
433
00:17:02,255 --> 00:17:03,815
Yeah, but I would protect her.
434
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,856
You know what, you're
better at the loving support.
435
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:09,763
Kris-- she's more like a...
436
00:17:09,829 --> 00:17:11,859
like a biker.
437
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,495
Well, she has made her decision,
438
00:17:15,602 --> 00:17:17,872
and I just have to live
with it, so...
439
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:19,514
Do you have to live with it?
440
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,006
-I mean, you can
keep it all inside, or...
-I know, I know.
441
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:24,342
Mom? Dad?
In here.
442
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,684
Hey, uh, do you guys mind
443
00:17:25,778 --> 00:17:27,448
if I take some pictures
of your bedroom?
444
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:31,024
Sunshine wants
to start preparing her vibe.
445
00:17:31,151 --> 00:17:32,521
Hey, you want to mess
with her head?
446
00:17:32,619 --> 00:17:34,489
Take pictures
of the bomb shelter downstairs.
447
00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:36,494
And actually,
that's not a bad option,
448
00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,156
'cause you can't hear people
screaming if you shut that door.
449
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:41,186
Uh, sure, honey.
A-And then, you know,
450
00:17:41,328 --> 00:17:42,828
maybe we-we could talk
a little bit about...
451
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,225
-Oh. Uh, what a shock. Sunshine.
452
00:17:45,365 --> 00:17:47,525
Hang on. Sorry, Mom.
Uh...
453
00:17:47,634 --> 00:17:49,204
Yeah?
454
00:17:50,403 --> 00:17:53,043
Oh, no, no, absolutely not.
455
00:17:53,173 --> 00:17:55,543
Yes, I know, you're the midwife,
456
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:57,705
but Mandy-- you know,
the woman having the baby--
457
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,350
she doesn't like your playlist,
so we'll be going with hers.
458
00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,353
-Yeah.
-Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
459
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:05,185
No, no. You don't need
to call her and talk it over.
460
00:18:05,252 --> 00:18:07,892
I am her big sister,
and I say no.
461
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,090
Yeah.
462
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:11,762
Blessings to you as well.
463
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,862
Oh, throw a little shade
on Sunshine.
464
00:18:15,928 --> 00:18:18,698
No, no, no, she's okay.
She just needs to be sorted out
465
00:18:18,765 --> 00:18:20,325
every now and again.
466
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:22,340
I still can't believe
I get to be
467
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:24,702
by Mandy's side
when she has her baby.
468
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:26,271
Ah, I'm sorry,
you were saying, Mom?
469
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:27,906
You wanted to talk about what?
470
00:18:29,909 --> 00:18:32,449
I think it is amazing...
471
00:18:32,579 --> 00:18:35,379
amazing how you're taking care
of your sister
472
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,278
and you are keeping her safe.
It really...
473
00:18:37,417 --> 00:18:39,587
really is wonderful.
474
00:18:39,686 --> 00:18:43,286
Mm, I'm just trying to give her
what you gave me, lady.
475
00:18:43,423 --> 00:18:45,563
You know what, that,
that was an experience
476
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:48,555
that I will treasure forever.
477
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,598
And... if I can't be
in the room with Mandy,
478
00:18:51,698 --> 00:18:55,938
then I, I am really glad that
she gets to share this with you.
479
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,614
Thank you.
480
00:18:59,739 --> 00:19:01,069
Oh.
481
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,240
Dad?
482
00:19:02,309 --> 00:19:03,879
You okay?
483
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,253
Yeah.
484
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:09,422
I was just thinking
about that mattress.
485
00:19:10,617 --> 00:19:12,717
You take good care
of my little girl.
486
00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:16,785
Oh, don't worry, there is no ass
I will not kick for Mandy.
487
00:19:18,791 --> 00:19:21,791
And she made
a New Age witch cry.
488
00:19:21,894 --> 00:19:23,834
Kristin said
she'd kick ass for me?
489
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,973
She sure did. I had to clean up
the language a little bit.
490
00:19:27,066 --> 00:19:29,396
Them bikers are salty.
491
00:19:29,469 --> 00:19:31,439
Hey, guys.
Hey, I know we didn't have
492
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:33,474
a playdate scheduled,
but something came up.
493
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:35,606
Can Evelyn stay
and play with Sarah for a bit?
494
00:19:35,675 --> 00:19:37,135
Is that all right with you?
495
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:39,077
Of course.
496
00:19:39,145 --> 00:19:41,645
I want those angels
to play together
497
00:19:41,748 --> 00:19:45,348
the rest of their lives,
just like me and you did.
498
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:51,288
I'm not telling
that story again.
499
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:00,501
Hey, Mike Baxter here
for Outdoor Man,
500
00:20:00,633 --> 00:20:02,603
where we offer free courses
on hunter safety,
501
00:20:02,669 --> 00:20:04,799
mountain climbing safety,
boater safety.
502
00:20:04,871 --> 00:20:05,941
I'm sure you're thinking,
503
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:08,275
"That's pretty generous
of Outdoor Man."
504
00:20:08,341 --> 00:20:10,781
But you know what, truth is,
we've learned over the years,
505
00:20:10,843 --> 00:20:13,353
dead customers tend to buy
a lot less gear.
506
00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:15,480
-So we do our best to make sure
507
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,518
everyone who ventures
into the outdoors
508
00:20:17,617 --> 00:20:19,517
makes it back indoors.
509
00:20:19,652 --> 00:20:21,352
-Preferably with good credit.
510
00:20:21,454 --> 00:20:23,124
And just like our store
is committed
511
00:20:23,189 --> 00:20:24,689
to protecting its customers,
512
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,034
as parents, our number-one job
is to protect our kids.
513
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,626
From the moment they're born,
we spring into high alert,
514
00:20:29,696 --> 00:20:31,526
on the lookout
for choking hazards,
515
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:35,131
sharp corners and, oof,
public television.
516
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,141
Man, it's exhausting.
517
00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,913
But if you raise
your kids right,
518
00:20:39,038 --> 00:20:41,208
you'll get to enjoy
the passing of the baton
519
00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:43,878
as they start taking care
of each other.
520
00:20:44,010 --> 00:20:45,580
If you raise them wrong,
521
00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:48,552
they'll be striking each other
over the head with that baton.
522
00:20:48,648 --> 00:20:50,718
Now, it can be
a little bittersweet
523
00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,020
when your kids take on
responsibilities
524
00:20:53,085 --> 00:20:54,745
you've always fulfilled.
525
00:20:54,887 --> 00:20:58,087
Like, "Hey, maybe they
don't need us anymore."
526
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:00,761
Or you could look at it
like this.
527
00:21:00,893 --> 00:21:04,063
"Hey,
they don't need us anymore!"
528
00:21:04,196 --> 00:21:05,726
Baxter out.
529
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:06,932
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
530
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,366
and TOYOTA.
531
00:21:10,236 --> 00:21:12,066
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
38082
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