All language subtitles for Dog.With.A.Blog.S01E11_English

♪♪

COME ON, EVERYONE!

GET IN HERE FOR BREAKFAST,

OR I'M GONNA GIVE ALL THE EGGS TO THE DOG!

HEY...I'M THE DOG!

NO ONE'S COMING.

UH, TIME TO GIVE ALL THE EGGS
TO THE YOU-KNOW-WHO.

CAN'T BLAME A GUY FOR TRYING.

-MORNING.
-( scoffs ) HEY, WHO'S YOUR FRIEND?

SHE LOOKS DULL AND LIFELESS.

AND, THIS IS WHERE YOU SAY
YOU WERE TALKING TO THE PLASTIC MANNEQUIN.

MOM, AVERY'S ANTICIPATING MY PUT-DOWNS.

AVERY, DON'T ANTICIPATE
YOUR BROTHER'S--WHAT?

( yawning ) GOOD MORNING, KIDS.

HONEY.

AAH! AAH!

I AM SO RELIEVED THAT IS NOT YOU.

I GOTTA RUN.

I'M BUYING TICKETS TO THE CARNIVAL.

OH, DIDN'T YOU GO LAST NIGHT?

IT'S GOOD THAT HE KEEPS GOING.

IT'S LIKE WHEN I VISITED THE WHITE HOUSE

TO SEE WHERE I'LL BE WORKING SOMEDAY.

THAT'S THE THIRD NIGHT IN A ROW.

THAT CARNIVAL MUST BE PRETTY--

WHO'S THE GIRL?

SHE RUNS THE TILT-A-WHIRL.

-UH-HUH.
-IS SHE PRETTY?

THAT'S WHAT I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT.

I ONLY SEE HER FOR A COUPLE
SECONDS AT A TIME AS I WHIRL BY.

WELL, I'M OFF TO A MEETING
WITH MY EDITOR. HEY!

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT CARNY GIRL, SON.

SADLY, I ALWAYS KNEW
I WOULD SAY THAT SOMEDAY.

AND I HAVE MY FIRST COOKING CLASS TODAY.

THANK GOODNESS.

I MEAN, "HAVE FUN!"

( gargling )

WELL, STAN, I'LL SEE YA.

I GOTTA GO WORK ON MY SCIENCE PROJECT.

I'M PAINTING THE INTERNAL
ORGANS ON THAT MANNEQUIN.

YOU KNOW, KIDNEY, LIVER, SPLEEN.

WAIT A MINUTE...

THOSE ARE ALL INGREDIENTS IN MY DOG FOOD.

KIBBLE IS PEOPLE!

STAN, NO, YOU'RE COMPLETELY
MISUNDERSTANDING THIS.

AND I REALLY DON'T LIKE
THE WAY YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME RIGHT NOW.

SORRY, IT WASN'T THAT.

I JUST HAVE A LOT ON MY MIND.

IS SOMETHING WRONG, STAN?

YOU SEEM KIND OF DOWN.

I AM KINDA DOWN.

I'VE BEEN WHIMPERING UNCONTROLLABLY.

( whimpering )

WELL, THAT TIME I DID IT
JUST TO MAKE A POINT.

BUT SOMETIMES, IT JUST-- ( whimpers )

THERE IT IS.

WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER, BOY?

I DON'T KNOW. I-IT'S LIKE EVERYONE'S LIFE
HAS A PURPOSE BUT MINE.

YOU'VE GOT THIS PROJECT.
TYLER'S CHASING A GIRL.

EVEN CHLOE'S GOT IMPORTANT STUFF.

SHE'S JUST AT SOME STUPID SLEEPOVER.

OH, YOU'RE BITTER 'CAUSE
YOU DIDN'T GET TO GO

TO JULIE'S OVERNIGHT PARTY
AT THE DUDE RANCH?

THEY WENT TO A DUDE RANCH?

DUDE, I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO UP TO A COW

AND CALL IT A "BIG-BONED HEIFFA."

MAYBE TELL IT TO "MOOOVE OVER."

-ARE YA DONE?
-MAYBE SAY TO IT, "WHO BEEFIN'?"

ALL RIGHT, I'M DONE NOW. ( chuckling )

DID THAT CHEER YOU UP AT ALL?

NOPE.

SOMETIMES I FEEL LIKE
I'M JUST RUNNING IN PLACE

AS THE YEARS GO BY SEVEN AT A TIME.

TWO OF WHICH JUST WENT BY

AS YOU WERE DOING YOUR
HIP-HOP DUDE RANCH ROUTINE.

YOU KNOW WHAT, STAN?

I'M GONNA HELP YOU.

I'M GONNA FIND A WAY TO GIVE YOUR LIFE
A SENSE OF PURPOSE.

HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ON WHAT YOU WANNA DO?

NOT REALLY.

I'VE DABBLED, BUT NOTHING'S WORKED OUT.

LIKE THAT TIME I GOT A JOB
AS A HAND MODEL.

Woman: NEXT UP IS ITEM J17-2,

THE LADIES CLASSIC CHRONOGRAPH.

-( record scratches )
-EWW...

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT WOMAN'S HAND?

♪♪

Stan: AVERY HAD A POINT ABOUT ADDING
MEANING TO MY LIFE.

SO I TRIED CRIME-FIGHTING.

BUT I HATE WORKING AT NIGHT.

IT'S SCARY AND THERE'S
A LOT OF BAD PEOPLE OUT THERE.

SO I DISTRACT MYSELF WITH STUFF...

LIKE THIS VIDEO OF A DOG
CHASING A GARDEN HOSE.

( laughing ) THIS IS AWESOME.

GET IT, BOY. GET IT.

YOU GOT IT. YOU GOT IT.

( whispering ) I told you
there was someone down there.

-I hear it, too.
-What do we do?

( Stan continues laughing )

SO IF IT'S A BURGLAR,

YOU'RE GONNA HIT HIM WITH A COPY
OF A BOOK YOU WROTE?

NO, I WAS GONNA SIGN IT FOR HIM.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE HE'S A FAN.

GET IT, BOY. YOU GOT IT.

PRICELESS.

-THIS IS ABSOLUTELY--
-( loud bumping )

-Bennett: Stop pushing me. Stop.
-UH-OH.

WHO SHOULD I MAKE THIS OUT TO?

OH, IT'S JUST THE COMPUTER.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? ONE OF THE KIDS
MUST'VE LEFT IT ON.

IT'S ONE OF THOSE STUPID, MINDLESS VIDEOS.

-HE'S ALMOST GOT IT.
-( both chuckling )

YOU GO... GET IT, BOY.

IT IS GOOD.

( both muttering )

LUCKILY, THEY THOUGHT
IT WAS JUST THE COMPUTER.

OH, THANK GOODNESS.

STAN, YOU HAVE TO BE MORE CAREFUL.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

YEAH, "DOG WITH THE HOSE"
IS LIKE TWO YEARS OLD.

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THE VIDEOS
WE WATCHED AT THE DUDE RANCH.

STOP WITH THE DUDE RANCH!

NOT EVERYBODY GOT TO GO!

THAT'S TRUE...OR EVERYONE
WOULD HAVE ONE OF THESE.

HOWDY.

KIDS, YOUR MOM AND I

HAVE SOMETHING WE NEED
TO DISCUSS WITH YOU.

WE HEARD A NOISE LAST NIGHT.

AND WE THOUGHT IT WAS A BURGLAR.

OH, NO!

THAT'S TERRIBLE!

GOOD THING IT WAS JUST THE COMPUTER.

WHAT?

WHAT?

ANYWAY, IT GOT US THINKING,

WOULD WE BE PREPARED IF THERE REALLY WERE
AN UNWANTED VISITOR?

GRANDMA'S COMING?

-NO.
-All: OH, THANK GOODNESS.

ANYWAY, WE JUST NEED A PLAN

IN CASE THERE'S EVER A REAL INTRUDER.

I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING, HON,

MAYBE WE COULD GET
A HIGH-TECH SECURITY SYSTEM.

-NO...
-UH--I FOUND THIS REAL BEAUT ONLINE.

THE HOME WATCHER 9000.

WE CAN GET THE WHOLE HOUSE
WIRED WITH SENSORS

AND MONITORS, AND THEY HAVE
A REMOTE CONTROL THAT'LL MAKE--

NO, NO, NO. THAT SOUNDS WAY TOO MUCH

LIKE THAT "HOUSE WIZARD" APP
YOU PUT ON OUR PHONES.

LIGHTS.

LIGHTS.

LIGHTS!

-( beeping )
-SIMPLE.

( electricity buzzing )

-( blender whirring )
-AAH!

( Bennett and Ellen yelling )

( screaming )

NO COMPLICATED, HIGH-TECH SECURITY SYSTEM.

YOU KNOW, THE BEST DETERRENT
TO CRIMINALS IS A DOG.

AND THIS WOULD BE SO GOOD FOR STAN.

YOU KNOW, DOGS NEED A PURPOSE.

WORKING DOGS ARE HEALTHIER, HAPPIER,

AND THEY LIVE LONGER.

I DON'T KNOW, SWEETIE.

STAN'S NOT REALLY A GUARD DOG.

BUT WE CAN TRAIN HIM.

YOU KNOW, HE'S A REALLY QUICK LEARNER.

LOOK AT SOME OF THE THINGS
I'VE ALREADY TAUGHT HIM.

STAN, SIT.

GOOD BOY. SPEAK.

( barks )

GOOD BOY. SHAKE.

WOW, CAN YOU TEACH ME THAT?

-I DON'T THINK SO.
-ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I GUESS STAN
MIGHT BE A BETTER OPTION

THAN SOME SECURITY SYSTEM
I WON'T BE ABLE TO OPERATE.

SOUNDS LIKE A "YES" TO ME. ( chuckles )

YES! THAT COULD BE MY PURPOSE.

GUARD DOG.

OH, THIS'LL BE SO MUCH BETTER
THAN WHEN I WAS A FOOT MODEL.

Woman: NEXT UP IS ITEM J35-3,

A LADIES OPEN TOE SLING BACK PUMP.

-( record scratches )
-WHY IS THAT DOG STILL HERE?

THANKS, AVERY!

THIS GUARD DOG GIG IS A DREAM COME TRUE.

YOU KNOW, I PROMISED THEM
YOU'D BE GOOD AT THIS.

I WENT OUT ON A LIMB FOR YOU,
AND NOW YOU HAVE TO DELIVER.

I WON'T LET YOU DOWN, AVERY.

I'LL BECOME THE BEST GUARD DOG

THIS HOUSE HAS EVER SEEN.

HOW MANY HAS IT SEEN, JUST SO I KNOW
WHAT I'M UP AGAINST?

I'VE GOT A LOT OF TRAINING TO DO.

( workout music playing )

I'M READY.

HEY, HONEY.

BACK FROM CLASS ALREADY, HUH?

-HI.
-( screams )

CAN'T SHE KEEP THAT THING IN HER ROOM?

BENNETT, I AM PUMPED!

AFTER MY COOKING CLASS,
I TOOK A SELF-DEFENSE CLASS.

THAT REALLY WOULD NOT BE NECESSARY

-IF WE GOT THE HOME WATCHER SYSTEM...
-MMM.

AW, LOOK AT THIS, ELLEN.

IT MONITORS MOVEMENT
IN EVERY INCH OF THE HOUSE.

IT CONTACTS THE AUTHORITIES.

IT EVEN HAS A FAIL-SAFE KILL SWITCH

IN CASE THE SYSTEM BECOMES SELF-AWARE

AND DECIDES TO DESTROY HUMANITY.

JUST COME HERE. LET ME TEACH YOU
WHAT I LEARNED IN SELF-DEFENSE.

-ALL RIGHT.
-OKAY...

YOU PRETEND TO BE
AN INTRUDER AND COME AT ME.

REALLY?

-( yells )
-WAIT!

PUT YOUR LEFT HAND ON MY RIGHT SHOULDER.

FEET APART, LEAVING YOUR
VITAL ORGANS EXPOSED.

WHAT?

OH, WAIT A SECOND. LET ME JUST...

( groaning )

( bone cracks )

NOW SURPRISE ME!

WHAT IF THE INTRUDER
DOESN'T WANNA FOLLOW INSTRUCTIONS

AND ALLOW YOU TO WARM UP?

( grunting )

CAN YOUR HOME WATCHER DO THAT?

( choking ) IF YOU GET THE UPGRADE.

HALT. STATE YOUR BUSINESS.

I'M A KID. I HAVE NO BUSINESS.

THAT CHECKS OUT. CARRY ON.

STAN, YOU'RE STILL
STANDING GUARD UP THERE?

HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN SINCE YOU'VE SLEPT?

HA! I DON'T NEED SLEEP.
SLEEP IS FOR HAND MODELS.

I HAVE A SENSE OF PURPOSE.

IT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS MISSING.

AW, I'M SO HAPPY IT'S WORKING OUT FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW, YOU BRING SO MUCH HAPPINESS
TO EVERYONE IN THIS FAMILY.

IT'S NICE THAT YOU'RE FINALLY GETTING
SOME HAPPINESS BACK.

AW, THANKS.

( yawning ) I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU
FOR DOING THIS.

LOVE YOU, STAN.

-I LOVE YOU, TOO, AVERY.
-( chuckles )

HALT! WHO GOES THERE?

STAN, IT'S AVERY.

YOU JUST SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET ME.

DID I? ( yawns )

I'M A LITTLE BIT TIRED.

I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD GET SOME SLEEP.

THANKS. YOU'RE REALLY
LOOKIN' OUT FOR ME, AVERY.

HALT! WHO GOES THERE?

STAN, SERIOUSLY, GET SOME REST.

I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU FOR DOIN' THIS.

HALT! WHO GOES THERE?

COME ON, GUYS! IT'S TIME TO GO
TO THE CARNIVAL!

LET'S GO!

ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE. GET YOUR COATS!

WHOO, YEAH!

OH, HAS ANYONE SEEN YOUR MOTHER?

VERY FUNNY. I'M PRACTICING
MY SNEAK-ATTACK.

HOW IS "SNEAK-ATTACK"
A PART OF SELF-DEFENSE?

DO NOT QUESTION SENSEI DEREK.

OH! WAIT, GOTTA GET MY JACKET.

WOULD YOU STOP WALKING SO I CAN THROW YOU
TO THE FLOOR?

-WHY ARE YOU RECORDING THAT?
-( beeping )

SOMEDAY, WHEN I'M CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR

IN A FETAL POSITION, UNABLE TO SPEAK,

SHOW THIS TO MY DOCTORS.
IT WILL EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

( family chattering excitedly )

THANKS FOR WINNING ME A FREE MONKEY.

EH, THAT "FREE MONKEY"
COST ME ALMOST A HUNDRED BUCKS

OF RING TOSSES.

I TOLD YOU IT WAS OKAY TO STOP TRYING.

BUT YOU SAID NO BABY-TOOTH CARNY

WAS GONNA GET THE BEST OF YOU.

HEY, GOOD BOY, STAN!

LOOK AT HIM GETTIN'
HIS GUARD DOG ON, HONEY.

SEE, I TOLD YOU HE COULD DO IT.

AND LOOK HOW MUCH HAPPIER
HE IS TO HAVE A PURPOSE.

I AM HAPPY. SO WHAT IF I HAVEN'T SLEPT
IN THREE DAYS?

IT'S NOT AFFECTING ME.

ANYONE ELSE SEE THAT LEPRECHAUN

DANCING IN FRONT OF THE RED CURTAIN?

ALL RIGHT, UP TO BED, EVERYONE.

CAN'T I JUST GO BACK
TO THE CARNIVAL BY MYSELF?

NO.

I BARELY GOT TO TALK TO TILT-A-WHIRL GIRL.

IT'S A SCHOOL NIGHT.

NOT FOR HER. SHE DROPPED OUT
A LONG TIME AGO.

UP TO BED. DON'T ARGUE WITH ME.

OKAY, MOM. DON'T FREAK OUT ON ME

LIKE YOU DID WITH THAT GUY
AT THE CARNIVAL.

HE CAME AT ME WITH A STICK.

IT WAS A CHURRO!

COULD'VE BEEN A SUGAR-COATED GUN.

HEY. WHERE YOU GOIN'?

SNEAKIN' OUT OF THE HOUSE TO TAKE A SPIN
WITH THE TILT-A-WHIRL GIRL.

OKAY THEN. CARRY ON.

STAN, YOU'VE BEEN UP THERE FOR DAYS.

WHY DON'T YOU GET OFF THAT COFFEE TABLE
AND GET SOME SLEEP?

YOU WANT ME ON THIS COFFEE TABLE!

YOU NEED ME ON THIS COFFEE TABLE!

COME ON, YOU'RE SO EXHAUSTED
YOU'RE NOT EVEN MAKING ANY SENSE.

REALLY? THREE IS A BLANKET
YOU DO NOT WANT TO SWIM IN.

WHATEVER. GOOD NIGHT, STAN.

GOOD NIGHT, CAROL.

WHOA, WHOA.

THANKS FOR HELPING ME HOME, BEARDED LADY.

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T HAVE
GONE ON THAT TILT-A-WHIRL

THOSE LAST TEN TIMES.

I'M SO DIZZY. WHOA.

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR ONE-MAN--WOMAN SHOW.

-WHOA!
-( crashing )

SHH. WHOA!

WHOA!

AAH! NO!

( knickknacks rattling )

PUT YOUR LEFT HAND ON MY RIGHT SHOULDER!

WHAT?

-( grunts )
-( Tyler yells )

-Bennett: HONEY!
-BENNETT!

-ARE YOU OKAY?
-YES!

OH! YOU GOT HIM! ( laughing )

( both gasping, panting )

Both: TYLER?

( weakly ) WHY?

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU SNEAKED
OUT OF THE HOUSE LIKE THAT.

YOU'RE GROUNDED. FOR A MONTH!

COME ON, DAD.

DIDN'T YOU EVER DO SOMETHING
YOU WEREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO

FOR THE LOVE OF A CARNY GIRL?

( scoffs ) NO.

SHH...

COME ON, HASN'T TYLER
BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH?

OH WOW, THANKS, AVERY.

I MEAN, NOT ONLY THE PAIN
OF BEING THROWN TO THE FLOOR,

BUT THE HUMILIATION OF BEING FOLDED UP
LIKE A LAWN CHAIR BY HIS OWN MOMMY.

AS I FEARED, STAN IS COMPLETELY USELESS
AS A GUARD DOG.

YEAH, BUT I'M NOT QUITE SURE
YOU'RE THE ANSWER, EITHER,

MY LITTLE NINJA FLOWER.

WE CLEARLY NEED

THE HOME WATCHER 9000.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?

AH, JUST SOMETHIN' THEY SEND YA
IF YA FILL OUT A SURVEY.

-CHECK THIS OUT.
-( shrill beeping )

Bennett: OH! OH!

THAT'S LOUD!

HOW DO YOU-- HOW DO YOU TURN THIS OFF?

IT'S, UM--( stammers )

-NIPPLE, NIPPLE, BELLYBUTTON.
-( beeping stops )

THAT WHOLE SECURITY SYSTEM
THING JUST SCARES ME.

OH COME ON, ELLEN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK COULD HAPPEN?

IT COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH ME.

IS THAT SO HARD TO BELIEVE?

( lock engages )

HOME WATCHER, OPEN THE BACK DOOR.

Home Watcher: ( imitating HAL 9000 )
I'M SORRY, ELLEN.

I CAN'T DO THAT.

( lock engages )

( Home Watcher cackling )

( lock engages )

BENNETT!

WHAT DO YOU WANT BENNETT FOR?

AREN'T I ENOUGH FOR YOU,

MY LITTLE NINJA FLOWER?

BENNETT!

ELLEN, I ASSURE YOU THE HOME WATCHER
IS PERFECTLY SAFE.

IT EVEN HAS CAMERAS THAT MONITOR
EVERYTHING THAT GOES ON IN THE HOUSE.

WELL, IT WOULD MEAN THE KIDS

WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO GET AWAY
WITH ANYTHING EVER AGAIN.

YEAH.

Both: WE'LL NEVER GET AWAY
WITH ANYTHING EVER AGAIN!

WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO KEEP THE SECRET
THAT STAN CAN TALK.

STAN, YOU'D BETTER WAKE UP.

I'VE BEEN AWAKE FOR A WHILE.

I WAS JUST TOO EMBARRASSED
TO FACE YOU ALL.

STAN, YOU WERE SNORING.

I DON'T REALLY SNORE LIKE THAT.

I SNORE LIKE THIS. ( snores )

MI-MI-MI-MI-MI-MI.

I MEAN, I'M GUESSING.

I'M USUALLY ASLEEP WHEN IT HAPPENS.

( sighs ) I'M SORRY I LET YOU DOWN.

STAN, YOU DIDN'T LET ME DOWN.

YOU DID YOUR BEST.

YOU'RE A GOOD BOY, YOU HEAR ME?

A GOOD BOY.

AND WHEN YOU SNORE
YOU SOUND MORE LIKE THIS:

( sputtering loudly )

THAT'S NOT MY SNORE.

THAT'S MY BEEFIN'.

HEY, MOM AND DAD ARE HAVING
THIS WHOLE HOUSE MONITORED.

BUT SURE, LET'S TALK ABOUT SNORING.

OKAY. TYLER SNORES LIKE THIS:

( hacking )

THAT'S ACTUALLY MY MOM.

BUT TYLER'S RIGHT. WE CANNOT LET THEM
GET THIS SECURITY SYSTEM.

WE NEED A PLAN.

DON'T INVOLVE ME.

I'M USELESS, JUST LIKE YOUR MOM SAID.

BUT WHAT DID I SAY?

I'M A GOOD BOY!

( sweetly ) YOU'RE THE BEST BOY.

( loud snoring )

Bennett: ELLEN, TURN ON YOUR SIDE.

IF WE CAN'T PROVE STAN'S A GOOD GUARD DOG,

THEY'RE GONNA GET THAT SECURITY SYSTEM.

THIS PLAN WILL WORK.

WE'VE BEEN PREPARING FOR IT ALL DAY.

I'M GONNA NEED A "GO,"
"NO-GO" FROM ALL DEPARTMENTS.

SPEAKERS OUTSIDE?

GO.

SOUND EFFECTS?

( tires squealing )

GO.

CARNIVAL MONKEY?

GO.

MANNEQUIN?

( high-pitched ) GO.

-ALL RIGHT, STAN. YOU READY?
-I WAS BORN READY.

ACTUALLY, WHEN I WAS BORN, I COULDN'T SEE,
AND I COULDN'T WALK.

AND MY PAWS WERE WAY TOO BIG FOR MY BODY.

BUT I'M READY NOW!

ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO THIS!

Tyler and Stan: YEAH!

Avery: OPERATION STANDING GUARD

WILL COMMENCE IN THREE...

TWO...ONE...

MOM! DAD! I-- I THINK
THERE'S SOMEONE OUTSIDE!

-( clicks )
-( rattling )

HE'S RIGHT. I THINK
THERE'S SOMEONE OUT THERE. SHH.

-( clicks )
-( rattling )

Avery: THE PATIO!

GO, MONKEY!

( grunting )

LOOK! THERE'S SOMEONE OVER THERE!

SOMETHING'S ABOUT TO GET ASKED TO PUT
THEIR LEFT HAND ON MY RIGHT SHOULDER.

-( barks )
-LET STAN TRY!

GO GET 'EM, STAN!

( barking )

( mouthing words )

I SAW SOMEONE OUT THERE. WHERE'D HE GO?

WELL, WHERE'S STAN?

-I DON'T KNOW!
-THE WINDOW!

( knocking on glass )

STAN, GET IT. GET IT.

( growling )

OKAY, THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS.
I'M CALLING THE POLICE.

WHERE IS MY PHONE? I LEFT IT RIGHT HERE!

I-I CAN'T FIND MINE, EITHER!

( stammering ) I THINK I SAW THEM
IN THE KITCHEN!

LET'S GO!

AVERY! WHAT ABOUT THE PHONES?

( sighs )

( clattering )

I CAN'T FIND MY PHONE!

LOOK!

( growling )

Stan: GET OFF ME, YOU CRAZY MUTT!

LET ME GO!

THIS DOG IS TOO VICIOUS!

YET HANDSOME AND MAJESTIC.

I THINK HE'S LEAVING.

-( clicks, tires squealing )
-HE'S GETTING IN HIS CAR!

STAN, YOU WERE AWESOME.

AND YOU REALLY SAVED THE DAY, BOY.

WOW. SO I GUESS WE DON'T NEED
THAT SECURITY SYSTEM.

( talking over each other ) NO...NO WAY...

AND I GUESS YOU WON'T HAVE TO TAKE THOSE
SELF-DEFENSE CLASSES.

-THAT'S RIGHT. YOU DON'T NEED THAT.
-MM-MMM.

AND I GUESS I DON'T HAVE TO HIDE
THAT BARN SNAKE

I TOOK FROM THE DUDE RANCH.

Both: WHAT?

WHAT?

-WE DID IT!
-WHOO!

GREAT JOB.

WAY TO GO, MANNEQUIN.

-WAY TO GO, STAN!
-Avery: YEAH.

( knocking on door )

WHOA!

Bennett: CAN I COME IN?

-YEAH! COME ON IN!
-YEP.

-HI.
-Girls: HI.

I KNOW THAT LITTLE SCENE
YOU GUYS DID DOWNSTAIRS WAS A FAKE.

-IT WAS HIS IDEA!
-IT WAS HER IDEA!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

ARE WE IN TROUBLE?

WELL... ( clears throat )

I WAS THINKING THIS
COULD BE OUR LITTLE SECRET,

NOT TELL MOM.

AS LONG AS SHE THINKS STAN CAN PROTECT US,

SHE'LL STAY OUT OF THAT SELF-DEFENSE CLASS

AND STOP WITH THE SNEAK-ATTACKS.

-HI, GUYS.
-( yells )

THERE'S MY... STEALTHY LADY NOW.

I JUST CAME TO CONGRATULATE STAN

-ON A JOB WELL DONE.
-AH!

THAT'S WHAT I WAS DOING.

( humming )

I KNOW YOU KIDS STAGED THE WHOLE THING.

-IT WAS HIS IDEA!
-IT WAS HER IDEA!

I'M SO CONFUSED.

FINE. LET'S NOT SAY ANYTHING
TO DAD ABOUT IT, THOUGH.

NOW THAT HE THINKS STAN'S A GUARD DOG,

HE'S NOT GETTING
THAT STUPID SECURITY SYSTEM.

OUR LITTLE SECRET, OKAY? ( clicks tongue )

( sighs ) THAT WAS CLOSE.

-MAN.
-WHEW.

WHEW!

Stan: AVERY NEVER LOST FAITH IN ME,

AND THAT MEANS A LOT.

AND BEING THE FAMILY WATCHDOG

GIVES ME A REAL SENSE OF PURPOSE.

I'VE ALSO BEEN WORKING ON SOME HOBBIES
TO FILL MY TIME.

YOU KNOW WHAT TURNED OUT
TO BE REALLY GREAT?

GOING TO A DUDE RANCH!

HEY, TYLER.

MOM WAS SHOWING ME SOME
OF HER SELF-DEFENSE MOVES,

AND I WAS WONDERING
IF I COULD TRY ONE OUT ON YOU.

( scoffs ) COME ON.

THERE'S NO WAY A LITTLE THING LIKE YOU

IS GONNA BE ABLE TO TRY
ANY KIND OF MOVES ON ME.

WHOA!

( weakly ) THAT WAS JUST LUCKY.

( groans ) THERE'S NO WAY YOU
COULD ACTUALLY DO THAT--

( yells )

( laughing ) OH, COOL. CAN I TRY?

-YEAH.
-NO.

NO. ( grunts )

( yells )

( laughing ) THAT WAS BRILLIANT.

( girls laughing )

WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP DOING THAT TO ME?

( laughing, muttering )

( boing )