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1
00:00:14,047 --> 00:00:19,047
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
2
00:08:09,376 --> 00:08:11,501
You know Alain, his twin brother
3
00:08:12,585 --> 00:08:14,334
He was always kind to me
4
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Well we flirted a bit
5
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:19,085
It's normal, no?
6
00:08:20,710 --> 00:08:21,793
What could I do?
7
00:08:22,835 --> 00:08:24,793
Jean-Claude had been dead
more than a year
8
00:08:25,418 --> 00:08:26,918
You can't wait forever
9
00:08:28,835 --> 00:08:30,668
So we became lovers
10
00:08:31,375 --> 00:08:32,585
It wasn't bad at all
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Even better, amazing
12
00:08:37,251 --> 00:08:38,418
I know, it was his brother
13
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but at last I could breathe
14
00:08:43,293 --> 00:08:44,251
Things were better
15
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apart from his dog, Kremone
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She was his true love
17
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She was so angry that she would
lie on the bed between us
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to stop Alain touching me
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Then one day she disappeared
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We looked everywhere
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Then the gravedigger phoned and said
he'd found her at the cemetery
22
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She'd spent the whole day
sitting on his grave
23
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What's incredible
24
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during the night she decided
to dig up his bones
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The gravedigger returned at dawn
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She'd dug up the earth
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Nothing, there was just an empty hole
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not even a coffin!
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The police came
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I insisted they re-open the case
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They finally told me
Jean-Claude was not dead
32
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He'd fled the country
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Something with the mafia
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He’d grassed to the police
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Puff, vanished
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He lives in Algeria
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can't come back or
38
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he'd be killed
39
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He'd done it for me, for all of us
40
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I insisted I had to see him or else
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I'd reveal everything
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I loaded the car
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Kremone beside me, motionless, expectant
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I don't understand what goes on
in the head of that poodle
45
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One evening I was in a cafe
46
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Jean-Claude arrived
47
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He shouted
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“my wife with my brother
how is it possible?!”
49
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He said he couldn't live
without Kremone
50
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Kremone looking back
over his shoulder...
51
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...in triumph!
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She's beautiful but sad
53
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What about my ceiling?
54
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My omelette?
55
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Seeing you sitting there
makes me think of my cousin
56
00:35:49,834 --> 00:35:52,668
She was mad about chickens
57
00:35:53,834 --> 00:35:57,793
I don't remember where
she was living then
58
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but she’d seen an advert
59
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in a newspaper
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for 10 chickens and an enormous coop
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I went to the farm, mud everywhere
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Old buildings but no people
63
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I went to look for the farmer
64
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There were animals everywhere...
65
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…but nobody
66
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So I decided to leave
67
00:36:34,377 --> 00:36:39,543
I was going back to my van
when I heard a strange noise
68
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And there in the ditch
69
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stuck in the mud was an old man
70
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Unable to get out,
his legs stuck in the mud
71
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I couldn't pull him out on my own
72
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He asked me to get him a coffee
73
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Do you want some more coffee?
74
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"Reheat the pot on the stove" he said
75
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I went to the kitchen, lit the gas...
76
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...and I heard footsteps
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A man came into the kitchen
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He was handsome. Very handsome
79
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You can't imagine how handsome!
80
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He told me his dream
81
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he was stuck in a ditch
82
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covered in mud - a horrible nightmare
83
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He woke when he heard me come in
84
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We went out to the ditch...
85
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...there was no one there!
86
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The old man had gone
87
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It was as if I had
entered into his dream
88
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So we drank the coffee
89
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I stayed for 3 days
90
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After a few weeks we got married
91
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We were very happy...
92
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...well, I think we were
93
00:38:26,584 --> 00:38:30,584
I never got the chickens
Nor him - he disappeared
94
00:38:36,252 --> 00:38:40,127
I'm now alone
you have your chicken
95
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:47,918
Don't do that again, what you did last night
96
00:38:49,085 --> 00:38:51,376
Don't do that to me
97
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Listen now to The Song of Forgotten Cars
98
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And now, the Song of Forgotten Cigarettes
99
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Ladies and gentlemen,
our laureate, Professor...
100
01:07:09,043 --> 01:07:10,043
...Schmetterling
101
01:07:16,585 --> 01:07:20,502
Before we hear from our
distinguished guest
102
01:07:20,834 --> 01:07:25,210
I would like us to reflect
on his discoveries
103
01:07:25,793 --> 01:07:30,751
while listening to the Saint Felix ensemble
104
01:08:34,084 --> 01:08:37,960
It gives us great pleasure to award him
105
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the Ewaldiana Prize
106
01:08:40,252 --> 01:08:43,252
named after one of the famous founders
107
01:08:43,668 --> 01:08:46,085
of the science of crystallography
108
01:20:21,835 --> 01:20:23,793
I remember one day with my uncle
109
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he said he was going to climb this rock
110
01:20:28,959 --> 01:20:32,834
I said you're mad - it's too high
It's dangerous
111
01:20:35,585 --> 01:20:36,918
But he was too confident
112
01:20:38,335 --> 01:20:39,376
He climbed it
113
01:20:40,585 --> 01:20:42,293
he jumped
114
01:20:43,043 --> 01:20:44,460
and I never saw my uncle again
115
01:20:48,376 --> 01:20:50,752
The police put a net across the river
116
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A thick fog came down
117
01:20:55,710 --> 01:20:57,251
They never found him
118
01:21:03,043 --> 01:21:06,710
We went to eat at Gaspard's
as it was a Sunday
119
01:21:09,834 --> 01:21:11,543
It was a sad meal
120
01:21:17,251 --> 01:21:18,918
No grandfather
121
01:21:21,959 --> 01:21:24,251
and now no uncle
122
01:21:34,793 --> 01:21:35,959
I'm tired
123
01:21:39,251 --> 01:21:40,251
Good night
124
01:22:57,793 --> 01:23:03,043
Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to
the 19th fête of St.Julien en Clop
125
01:23:04,293 --> 01:23:07,210
Between us, I'd love a smoke
126
01:23:07,251 --> 01:23:08,210
Between us, I'd love a smoke
127
01:23:08,251 --> 01:23:11,543
but my doctor has forbidden me
after the death of his dog
128
01:23:13,627 --> 01:23:16,085
I'd like to thank
Mr & Mrs Fanonvilliers
129
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for the mutton they supply for the grill
130
01:23:19,709 --> 01:23:21,001
They know nothing about sheep
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01:23:21,793 --> 01:23:27,335
The mutton reminds us of
our beautiful countryside
132
01:23:30,126 --> 01:23:31,418
Apologies...
133
01:23:32,168 --> 01:23:33,668
...I have terrible stomach cramps...
134
01:23:34,543 --> 01:23:36,834
...I think it's the oysters
prepared by my husband
135
01:23:39,793 --> 01:23:42,168
I'd like to thank Mrs Leboitier
136
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for her exceptional tomatoes
137
01:23:46,043 --> 01:23:48,251
whose flavour is beyond our wildest dreams
138
01:23:49,834 --> 01:23:53,793
And the wines supplied by Gaston Leduc
139
01:23:55,377 --> 01:23:57,043
who despite his great age
140
01:23:57,418 --> 01:24:00,085
still adds to the general drunkenness
141
01:24:04,043 --> 01:24:06,793
We are all here together
faced with an uncertain future
142
01:24:07,377 --> 01:24:09,001
rotten with uncertainty
143
01:24:09,585 --> 01:24:14,585
defenceless against a world
in perpetual evolution
144
01:24:15,210 --> 01:24:18,001
towards the abyss…
145
01:24:19,335 --> 01:24:20,418
…of oblivion
146
01:24:22,585 --> 01:24:26,126
I leave you amongst these trees,
these stones
147
01:24:27,168 --> 01:24:28,502
these bottles, and
148
01:24:29,126 --> 01:24:31,126
your favourite chicken race!
149
01:32:01,543 --> 01:32:06,543
Provided by explosiveskull
https://twitter.com/kaboomskull
10567
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