Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,061
THAT.
2
00:03:41,067 --> 00:03:42,068
[ Ringing of cell phone ]
3
00:03:45,572 --> 00:03:46,072
TED SCHMIDT.
4
00:03:46,072 --> 00:03:47,073
BRIAN.
5
00:03:49,075 --> 00:03:50,577
BRIAN WHO?
6
00:03:50,577 --> 00:03:52,579
BRIAN WHO-
DO-YOU-THINK?
7
00:03:52,579 --> 00:03:54,581
THAT'S WHO.
OH.
8
00:03:54,581 --> 00:03:56,082
I DIDN'T
RECOGNIZE
YOUR VOICE.
9
00:03:56,082 --> 00:03:58,585
YOU KNOW, I
DON'T THINK YOU'VE
EVER CALLED ME.
10
00:03:58,585 --> 00:03:59,586
WELL, TODAY'S
YOUR LUCKY DAY.
11
00:04:00,086 --> 00:04:01,588
I'M NOT TALKING
TO YOU, REMEMBER?
12
00:04:01,588 --> 00:04:04,090
YEAH, RIGHT. UH,
SO WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT?
13
00:04:04,090 --> 00:04:05,592
I HAVEN'T THOUGHT
ABOUT IT.
14
00:04:05,592 --> 00:04:07,093
WELL, THINK ABOUT
IT AND DECIDE
15
00:04:07,093 --> 00:04:08,595
IF YOU WANT
TO HANG OUT.
16
00:04:10,096 --> 00:04:10,597
WITH YOU?
17
00:04:11,097 --> 00:04:12,599
YOU SOUND SURPRISED.
18
00:04:12,599 --> 00:04:15,602
Uh, no. Surprised would
be if I won the lottery.
19
00:04:15,602 --> 00:04:17,103
OR IF AN ASTEROID
HIT THE EARTH,
20
00:04:17,103 --> 00:04:19,606
OR IF RICHARD SIMMONS
WAS STRAIGHT.
21
00:04:19,606 --> 00:04:21,107
NO, TRY DUMBSTRUCK.
22
00:04:21,608 --> 00:04:22,609
So you're not busy?
23
00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:25,111
DO YOU HAVE TO ASK?
24
00:04:25,111 --> 00:04:26,613
WOODY'S. AFTER WORK.
25
00:04:34,621 --> 00:04:36,122
Ted:
HE WANTS ME TO MEET
HIM AT WOODY'S...
26
00:04:37,624 --> 00:04:39,125
TO HANG OUT.
27
00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:41,127
Emmett:
GOD, HE MUST
REALLY BE DESPERATE.
28
00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,632
UH, I DIDN'T MEAN
IT LIKE THAT.
AH.
29
00:04:45,632 --> 00:04:47,634
NOW THAT HE
AND MICHAEL ARE
NO LONGER FRIENDS,
30
00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:50,637
MY GUESS IS
IS THAT HE NEEDS
SOMEBODY NEW TO
TAKE FOR GRANTED.
31
00:04:51,137 --> 00:04:53,139
SO, NATURALLY,
HE THOUGHT OF ME.
32
00:04:53,139 --> 00:04:55,141
YOU'RE NOT
ACTUALLY CON-
SIDERING GOING,
ARE YOU?
33
00:04:55,141 --> 00:04:58,144
WELL, MAYBE I
CAN RESOLVE THE
GREAT MICHAEL
CONFLICT,
34
00:04:58,645 --> 00:05:00,146
AND WIN THE
NOBEL PEACE PRIZE
35
00:05:00,146 --> 00:05:02,649
AND SCORE
WITH ONE OF
BRIAN'S REJECTS.
36
00:05:02,649 --> 00:05:04,150
[ Groaning ]
37
00:05:04,150 --> 00:05:05,652
49... 50.
38
00:05:07,153 --> 00:05:08,154
[ Sighing ]
39
00:05:08,154 --> 00:05:10,156
GOD, I
HATE MY ABS.
40
00:05:11,157 --> 00:05:12,158
I LOVE YOUR ABS.
41
00:05:16,162 --> 00:05:17,163
I MEAN YOU.
42
00:05:17,163 --> 00:05:19,666
[ Whispering ]
HE MEANS YOU.
43
00:05:19,666 --> 00:05:22,168
YOU'RE EMMETT,
RIGHT?
RIGHT.
44
00:05:22,168 --> 00:05:24,170
YOU WORK AT
TORSO, RIGHT?
RIGHT.
45
00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:26,673
AND YOUR
DENTIST IS
DR. FELDMAN,
RIGHT?
46
00:05:26,673 --> 00:05:28,675
RIGHT, HOW DO
YOU KNOW WHO
MY DENTIST IS?
47
00:05:28,675 --> 00:05:32,178
I WAS IN HIS OFFICE LAST
WEEK. I HAD THE APPOINT-
MENT RIGHT AFTER YOU.
48
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,181
AND BY THE WAY,
I LOVE THE SPACE
BETWEEN YOUR TEETH.
49
00:05:37,183 --> 00:05:38,184
I'M BEAU.
50
00:05:38,184 --> 00:05:40,687
THAT'S FRENCH
FOR "BEAUTIFUL".
I KNOW.
51
00:05:40,687 --> 00:05:42,689
AND I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT
YOU WERE KIND OF, UH, CUTE.
52
00:05:43,690 --> 00:05:45,191
YOU HAVE?
YEAH.
53
00:05:45,191 --> 00:05:47,694
AND I WAS WONDERING,
MAYBE YOU'D LIKE
TO GO OUT SOMETIME.
54
00:05:47,694 --> 00:05:50,196
AS IF YOU
NEED TO ASK.
55
00:05:50,196 --> 00:05:52,699
I'D LOVE TO.
AS IF HE'D
SAY NO.
56
00:05:52,699 --> 00:05:53,700
ONLY I CAN'T.
57
00:05:55,201 --> 00:05:56,703
WHAT?
58
00:05:56,703 --> 00:05:58,204
I-I CAN'T.
59
00:05:58,705 --> 00:06:00,206
BUT THANKS
FOR ASKING.
60
00:06:00,206 --> 00:06:01,708
MAYBE SOME
OTHER TIME,
THEN.
61
00:06:07,213 --> 00:06:09,215
ARE YOU OUT
OF YOUR MIND?
62
00:06:09,215 --> 00:06:11,718
GUYS LIKE US DO
NOT TURN DOWN
GUYS LIKE HIM.
63
00:06:11,718 --> 00:06:13,219
YOU HAVE ACTED
IN FLAGRANT
VIOLATION
64
00:06:13,219 --> 00:06:15,221
OF THE ENTIRE
GAY SOCIAL
STRUCTURE.
65
00:06:15,221 --> 00:06:16,723
THEY'RE GOING TO
VOTE YOU OUT OF
THE BROTHERHOOD.
66
00:06:16,723 --> 00:06:19,225
LET 'EM. I
MADE A PROMISE
TO GOD, REMEMBER?
67
00:06:19,225 --> 00:06:20,727
THAT IF I
TESTED NEGATIVE...
I KNOW,
68
00:06:20,727 --> 00:06:22,228
YOU'D NEVER HAVE
SEX WITH ANOTHER
MAN, I KNOW.
69
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:23,229
BUT YOU'RE FINE!
70
00:06:23,229 --> 00:06:25,231
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
71
00:06:25,231 --> 00:06:26,733
I NEVER WANT TO GO
THROUGH THE HELL
72
00:06:26,733 --> 00:06:29,235
THAT I WENT THROUGH
AGAIN, AND I WON'T.
73
00:06:29,235 --> 00:06:31,237
BECAUSE SOMEONE KEPT
HIS PART OF THE BARGAIN.
74
00:06:33,239 --> 00:06:34,240
NOW IT'S
MY TURN TO
KEEP MINE.
75
00:06:37,744 --> 00:06:39,245
HEY.
76
00:06:39,245 --> 00:06:40,747
I DIDN'T HEAR
YOU COME IN.
77
00:06:41,247 --> 00:06:42,248
MMMM.
Gus:
[ Crying ]
78
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:46,252
OH-H, SHH, I JUST
PUT GUS TO BED.
79
00:06:48,254 --> 00:06:49,756
IT'S TOO LATE TO
SEE HIM THEN, HUH?
80
00:06:49,756 --> 00:06:51,758
OH, YOU CAN
SEE HIM IN
THE MORNING.
81
00:06:51,758 --> 00:06:53,760
HE'S ASLEEP
WHEN I LEAVE.
82
00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,763
WELL, MAYBE YOU
COULD LEAVE LATER,
OR EVEN TAKE THE
AFTERNOON OFF.
83
00:06:56,763 --> 00:06:58,264
THE POINT OF
MY WORKING
LONGER DAYS
84
00:06:58,264 --> 00:06:59,766
IS SO YOU
CAN STAY HOME.
85
00:07:01,768 --> 00:07:03,770
I APPRECIATE HOW
HARD YOU WORK.
86
00:07:03,770 --> 00:07:06,272
IT WOULD BE
NICE IF YOU
SHOWED IT.
87
00:07:06,272 --> 00:07:08,274
I THOUGHT
I DID.
88
00:07:08,274 --> 00:07:11,277
AND, UH, I'M
WORKING TOO.
89
00:07:11,277 --> 00:07:13,279
TAKING CARE
OF OUR SON.
90
00:07:13,279 --> 00:07:15,782
YOUR SON AND
BRIAN'S. I JUST
PAY THE BILLS.
91
00:07:15,782 --> 00:07:17,784
OH, ARE WE
REALLY GOING TO GO
THROUGH THIS AGAIN?
92
00:07:17,784 --> 00:07:19,786
NAW, LET'S
PRETEND EVERY-
THING'S FINE.
93
00:07:20,286 --> 00:07:22,288
I DIDN'T SAY
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
94
00:07:22,288 --> 00:07:25,291
I JUST DON'T
FEEL WE NEED
TO CONSTANTLY
TALK ABOUT IT.
95
00:07:25,291 --> 00:07:27,293
WELL, I'M JEWISH
AND AFTER NEO-NAZIS
96
00:07:27,293 --> 00:07:29,796
THERE'S NOTHING
THE JEWS FEAR
MORE THAN SILENCE.
97
00:07:29,796 --> 00:07:31,297
WELL I'M NOT
LIKE THAT.
98
00:07:31,297 --> 00:07:33,299
I DON'T HAVE THE NEED
TO CONSTANTLY EXPRESS
99
00:07:33,299 --> 00:07:34,300
EVERYTHING THAT
I'M FEELING.
100
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,802
I WISH
YOU'D TRY.
101
00:07:35,802 --> 00:07:37,303
BECAUSE AFTER THAT
FIASCO AT BRIAN'S
102
00:07:37,303 --> 00:07:39,305
YOU'VE TURNED OFF TO ME
PHYSICALLY, EMOTIONALLY...
103
00:07:39,305 --> 00:07:41,307
AS USUAL, YOU'RE
CATASTROPHIZING,
104
00:07:41,307 --> 00:07:42,809
TURNING EVERY LITTLE
SLIGHT INTO A REJECTION.
105
00:07:43,309 --> 00:07:44,310
YOU NEVER WANT
TO MAKE LOVE,
106
00:07:44,310 --> 00:07:45,812
YOU BARELY WANT TO
HAVE A DISCUSSION.
107
00:07:46,312 --> 00:07:48,314
HAS IT EVER
OCCURRED TO YOU
THAT I MIGHT
BE TIRED?
108
00:07:48,314 --> 00:07:50,316
WELL, I'M TIRED, TOO.
109
00:07:50,316 --> 00:07:52,819
I'M TIRED OF
TRYING TO GET
THROUGH TO YOU,
110
00:07:52,819 --> 00:07:55,321
OF FIGURING OUT WHAT
THE HELL I DID WRONG,
111
00:07:55,321 --> 00:07:57,824
OF WONDERING WHY INSTEAD
OF FEELING CLOSER THAN
WE'VE EVER BEEN,
112
00:07:57,824 --> 00:07:59,325
I HAVE NEVER
FELT MORE ALONE.
113
00:07:59,325 --> 00:08:00,326
OH.
114
00:08:05,832 --> 00:08:07,333
AREN'T YOU
GOING TO SAY
ANYTHING?
115
00:08:09,836 --> 00:08:13,339
[ Clearing of throat ]
WHAT WOULD YOU
LIKE FOR DINNER?
116
00:08:13,339 --> 00:08:14,340
I CAN HEAT UP
SOME POT ROAST.
117
00:08:18,845 --> 00:08:35,361
[ ?????? ]
118
00:08:35,361 --> 00:08:38,364
SO, HOW WAS WORK?
119
00:08:39,365 --> 00:08:41,868
FAT MARLEY HAD THIS REALLY
INCREDIBLE HICKEY.
120
00:08:41,868 --> 00:08:43,369
AND THERE WAS
A SALE ON
PROTEIN POWDER,
121
00:08:43,369 --> 00:08:44,871
SO EVERY QUEEN IN
THE CITY WAS THERE,
122
00:08:44,871 --> 00:08:45,872
EXCEPT FOR YOU,
OF COURSE.
123
00:08:47,373 --> 00:08:48,374
BORING.
124
00:08:48,374 --> 00:08:49,876
WORK WAS
BORING.
125
00:08:51,377 --> 00:08:52,879
HOW ABOUT YOU?
126
00:08:52,879 --> 00:08:54,380
DON'T TELL ME.
YOU TOOK THE CLIENT
127
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:56,883
TO THIS REALLY FANCY
RESTAURANT FOR LUNCH,
128
00:08:56,883 --> 00:08:59,385
AND THERE WAS THIS REALLY
HOT WAITER AND HE...
129
00:08:59,385 --> 00:09:01,888
HE SIGNALLED
FOR YOU TO MEET
HIM IN THE
LINEN CLOSET
130
00:09:01,888 --> 00:09:03,890
AND HE GAVE YOU THIS
AMAZING BLOW JOB,
131
00:09:03,890 --> 00:09:04,891
AND THEN YOU WENT
BACK TO THE TABLE
132
00:09:05,391 --> 00:09:06,893
AND THE CLIENT
NEVER KNEW.
133
00:09:06,893 --> 00:09:07,894
HOW'D YOU GUESS?
134
00:09:10,897 --> 00:09:11,898
I ASKED YOU
ABOUT WORK.
135
00:09:13,900 --> 00:09:15,401
UH, I TOOK A
CLIENT TO LUNCH
136
00:09:15,401 --> 00:09:17,904
AND THE WAITER BLEW ME
IN THE LINEN CLOSET.
137
00:09:17,904 --> 00:09:18,905
REALLY?
138
00:09:18,905 --> 00:09:20,907
LIAR! YOU'RE
SUCH A LIAR.
139
00:09:23,409 --> 00:09:24,410
[ Sighing ]
140
00:09:28,414 --> 00:09:29,916
SO, HAVE YOU
TALKED TO HIM?
141
00:09:29,916 --> 00:09:31,417
WHO?
142
00:09:31,417 --> 00:09:32,919
MICHAEL.
143
00:09:32,919 --> 00:09:34,420
WHAT FOR?
144
00:09:34,921 --> 00:09:36,422
OH, FOR NO OTHER
REASON THAN HE'S
YOUR BEST FRIEND.
145
00:09:36,923 --> 00:09:37,924
WASMY BEST FRIEND.
146
00:09:42,428 --> 00:09:43,930
WHY DON'T YOU
JUST CALL HIM?
147
00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:45,431
I TOLD YOU.
148
00:09:45,932 --> 00:09:48,434
HE'S OUT OF MY LIFE
AND I'M OUT OF HIS.
149
00:09:48,434 --> 00:09:50,937
SO WOULD YOU PLEASE SHUT
THE FUCK UP ABOUT IT?
150
00:09:52,939 --> 00:09:54,440
HEY.
151
00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,441
HOW'S IT GOING?
152
00:09:57,944 --> 00:09:58,945
I'M NOT
INTERESTED.
153
00:10:04,450 --> 00:10:06,953
HOWEVER, UH, I
AM AVAILABLE
154
00:10:06,953 --> 00:10:09,455
FOR SAFE SEX AND
ESTATE PLANNING.
155
00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,463
ACTUALLY, I DO
HAVE SOME INVEST-
MENT QUESTIONS.
156
00:10:26,472 --> 00:10:28,474
WELL, I TELL
YOU WHAT.
157
00:10:28,975 --> 00:10:31,978
YOU HELP ME
DIVERSIFY MY
PORTFOLIO,
158
00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:33,479
I'LL HELP
DIVERSIFY YOURS.
159
00:10:39,485 --> 00:10:40,987
THAT'S THE LAST ONE.
160
00:10:41,988 --> 00:10:42,989
YOU'RE SURE?
161
00:10:44,490 --> 00:10:45,491
WELL, YEAH, FOR
THE MOST PART.
162
00:10:45,491 --> 00:10:46,993
I MEAN, I'M
GONNA GO BACK
163
00:10:46,993 --> 00:10:48,494
AND GET THE
REST TOMORROW.
164
00:10:48,494 --> 00:10:49,495
THE REST?
165
00:10:50,997 --> 00:10:52,498
YOU GOT A
LOT OF STUFF.
166
00:10:52,498 --> 00:10:53,499
WELL, YOU KNOW, IF I...
167
00:10:55,001 --> 00:10:57,503
FIND SOMETHING I LIKE,
I HOLD ON TO IT,
168
00:10:57,503 --> 00:10:59,505
YOU KNOW,
FOR KEEPS.
169
00:10:59,505 --> 00:11:01,507
I HOPE THAT APPLIES
TO ME, I HOPE THAT
APPLIES TO ME.
170
00:11:01,507 --> 00:11:03,509
I HOPE THAT
APPLIES TO ME.
ESPECIALLY
TO YOU.
171
00:11:03,509 --> 00:11:05,011
[ Chuckling ]
172
00:11:05,511 --> 00:11:07,013
SO WHERE SHOULD I PUT IT?
173
00:11:07,013 --> 00:11:09,015
WHEREVER YOU WANT, BABY.
174
00:11:09,015 --> 00:11:10,016
I MEANT MY STUFF.
175
00:11:12,018 --> 00:11:13,519
YOU DECIDE. IT'S
OUR PLACE NOW.
176
00:11:16,022 --> 00:11:17,523
GREAT.
177
00:11:17,523 --> 00:11:18,524
UM...
178
00:11:20,026 --> 00:11:21,527
BUT WHY DON'T
YOU WAIT TILL
TOMORROW MORNING?
179
00:11:23,029 --> 00:11:24,530
'CAUSE I GOT
PLANS FOR
US TONIGHT.
180
00:11:24,530 --> 00:11:25,531
OH?
181
00:11:25,531 --> 00:11:26,532
OH.
OH-H.
182
00:11:26,532 --> 00:11:49,555
[ ?????? ]
183
00:11:50,056 --> 00:11:52,058
SO, YOU SURE
YOU'RE OKAY
GETTING HOME?
184
00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:55,061
YEAH, I
KNOW THE WAY.
185
00:11:55,061 --> 00:11:56,062
RIGHT.
186
00:11:56,062 --> 00:12:40,606
[ ?????? ]
187
00:12:40,606 --> 00:14:01,687
[ ?????? ]
188
00:14:01,687 --> 00:14:03,189
I'M SO LUCKY.
189
00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:04,190
WHY IS THAT?
190
00:14:05,691 --> 00:14:07,693
WELL, NORMALLY
ABOUT THIS TIME
191
00:14:07,693 --> 00:14:09,195
I'D BE COMING
OUT OF WOODY'S,
192
00:14:09,195 --> 00:14:10,696
WAITING IN THE
JEEP FOR BRIAN
193
00:14:10,696 --> 00:14:12,198
TO FINISH GETTING
A BLOW JOB
194
00:14:12,198 --> 00:14:13,199
SO I COULD
DRIVE HIM HOME.
195
00:14:16,202 --> 00:14:17,703
AND INSTEAD?
196
00:14:19,205 --> 00:14:21,207
AND INSTEAD I'M
HERE, WITH YOU.
197
00:14:25,711 --> 00:14:27,213
I'M LUCKY TOO.
198
00:14:29,715 --> 00:14:30,716
I LOVE YOU,
MICHAEL.
199
00:14:33,219 --> 00:14:42,728
[ ?????? ]
200
00:14:42,728 --> 00:14:43,729
MIKEY?
201
00:14:59,245 --> 00:15:01,247
Michael:
HEY, SLEEPYHEAD.
202
00:15:01,247 --> 00:15:03,749
WHAT ARE
YOU DOING UP
SO EARLY?
203
00:15:03,749 --> 00:15:06,752
WELL, I COULDN'T
WAIT TO UNPACK
MY STUFF.
204
00:15:06,752 --> 00:15:07,753
SO WHAT DO
YOU THINK?
205
00:15:14,260 --> 00:15:15,261
IT... IT'S, UH...
206
00:15:16,762 --> 00:15:17,263
IT'S GREAT.
207
00:15:20,266 --> 00:15:22,768
I... I ESPECIALLY
LIKE THE, UM...
208
00:15:22,768 --> 00:15:25,271
WHERE YOU'VE... THE,
UH, THE PUTTING OF,
209
00:15:25,271 --> 00:15:26,772
WHAT'S HIS NAME?
210
00:15:27,273 --> 00:15:29,275
CAPTAIN ASTRO.
211
00:15:29,275 --> 00:15:32,278
YEAH, I WASN'T SURE
HOW YOU WERE GOING
TO FEEL ABOUT THAT.
212
00:15:32,278 --> 00:15:33,779
OH, IT ADDS
A REAL...
213
00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:36,782
UH, WHIMSICAL TOUCH.
214
00:15:38,284 --> 00:15:40,286
I'M STILL NOT SURE WHERE
TO PUT MY TOY ROBOTS.
215
00:15:42,288 --> 00:15:44,290
WELL, I'M SURE YOU'LL
FIND THE PERFECT PLACE.
216
00:15:45,791 --> 00:15:47,793
NOW COME ON, LET'S
GO BACK TO BED.
BED?
217
00:15:47,793 --> 00:15:49,795
SOME OF US HAVE TO WORK.
218
00:15:49,795 --> 00:15:51,297
IT'S SATURDAY.
219
00:15:51,797 --> 00:15:54,800
THE BIG Q
NEVER CLOSES.
220
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:56,802
I WAS KIND OF HOPING
WE'D JUST KICK BACK
AND WATCH THE GAME.
221
00:15:59,305 --> 00:16:01,807
WELL, I'VE NEVER
REALLY BEEN INTO
WATCHING THE GAME.
222
00:16:02,308 --> 00:16:03,809
[ Whirring of robot ]
223
00:16:03,809 --> 00:16:05,811
OR SATURDAYS.
224
00:16:05,811 --> 00:16:07,313
YOU HAVE SOME-
THING AGAINST
SATURDAYS?
225
00:16:07,313 --> 00:16:08,814
[ Chuckling ]
226
00:16:08,814 --> 00:16:11,317
WELL, THAT WAS
THE DAY THAT
ALL THE KIDS
227
00:16:11,317 --> 00:16:12,818
DID STUFF WITH
THEIR DADS.
228
00:16:13,319 --> 00:16:15,821
AND... I DIDN'T
HAVE ONE, SO...
229
00:16:17,323 --> 00:16:19,325
I KINDA DREADED
SATURDAYS.
230
00:16:19,325 --> 00:16:20,326
[ Whirring of robot ]
231
00:16:23,829 --> 00:16:25,331
WELL, I CAN
PROMISE YOU...
232
00:16:27,333 --> 00:16:28,834
ONLY HAPPY
SATURDAYS
FROM NOW ON.
233
00:16:37,343 --> 00:16:39,345
Lindsay:
ANOTHER
THERAPIST?
234
00:16:39,345 --> 00:16:41,847
WITH THAT ATTITUDE
WE'LL GET A LOT
ACCOMPLISHED.
235
00:16:41,847 --> 00:16:43,349
BUT YOU'RE THE
ONE WHO'S GOT
A PROBLEM.
236
00:16:43,349 --> 00:16:44,350
AND YOU DON'T?
237
00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:45,851
ONLY THE ONE
YOU'RE CREATING.
238
00:16:45,851 --> 00:16:49,355
OH, CHRIST! AM
I LIVING IN THIS
HOUSE ALONE?
239
00:16:49,355 --> 00:16:50,856
MAYBE YOU'D
BE HAPPIER
IF YOU WERE.
240
00:16:50,856 --> 00:16:52,358
[ Ringing of doorbell ]
241
00:16:54,360 --> 00:16:55,361
I'LL GET IT.
242
00:16:57,863 --> 00:16:58,864
MEET MY LATEST TRICK.
243
00:17:00,866 --> 00:17:02,368
HA.
244
00:17:02,368 --> 00:17:03,869
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU
WERE INTO BEARS.
245
00:17:03,869 --> 00:17:05,371
I THOUGHT YOU PREFERRED
THE YOUNG, HAIRLESS,
246
00:17:05,871 --> 00:17:07,873
"NOT ADMITTED WITHOUT A
PARENT OR GUARDIAN" TYPE.
247
00:17:07,873 --> 00:17:08,874
WHERE'S MY SON?
248
00:17:08,874 --> 00:17:11,377
OUR SON IS TAKING A NAP.
249
00:17:11,377 --> 00:17:13,879
WELL, I THOUGHT
I'D DROP BY
FOR DINNER.
250
00:17:13,879 --> 00:17:16,882
Melanie:
IT'S 2:00 O'CLOCK
IN THE AFTERNOON.
251
00:17:16,882 --> 00:17:18,884
THEN I'LL
JUST HANG OUT.
HANG OUT?
252
00:17:18,884 --> 00:17:20,386
SINCE WHEN DID
YOU "HANG OUT"
WITH THE LIKES
OF US?
253
00:17:20,886 --> 00:17:22,388
SINCE MICHAEL'S
NO LONGER IN
THE PICTURE.
254
00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:24,390
IT'S JUST AS WELL.
255
00:17:24,390 --> 00:17:27,393
MIKEY AND I WERE
HOLDING ON TO EACH
OTHER FOR TOO LONG.
256
00:17:27,393 --> 00:17:29,395
I MEAN, WHEN YOU THINK
ABOUT IT, WHAT DO WE
EVEN HAVE IN COMMON?
257
00:17:29,395 --> 00:17:30,396
YOUR LIVES.
258
00:17:31,897 --> 00:17:32,898
ASIDE FROM THAT.
259
00:17:34,900 --> 00:17:36,902
ANYWAYS, IT WORKED
OUT FOR THE BEST.
260
00:17:36,902 --> 00:17:39,905
THANKS TO MY DIVINE
INTERVENTION, HE'S WITH
THE GOOD DOCTOR NOW.
261
00:17:40,406 --> 00:17:40,906
WHERE HE BELONGS.
262
00:17:42,408 --> 00:17:44,910
LOOK, I GUESS
IT'S NOT TOO LATE.
263
00:17:44,910 --> 00:17:46,412
FOR WHAT?
264
00:17:46,412 --> 00:17:47,913
TO FIX THINGS.
265
00:17:47,913 --> 00:17:49,415
SOME THINGS
ARE BETTER
LEFT BROKEN.
266
00:17:52,918 --> 00:17:55,921
SO. WHAT DO YOU SAY WE
PLAY A LITTLE SCRABBLE?
267
00:17:58,924 --> 00:18:00,926
Marley:
I GOT THIS OFF
THE INTERNET,
268
00:18:00,926 --> 00:18:02,428
WAIT'LL YOU
HEAR IT.
269
00:18:02,428 --> 00:18:04,930
TEN WAYS TO KNOW IF
YOUR HUSBAND'S GAY.
270
00:18:04,930 --> 00:18:06,432
Marley:
[ Chuckling ]
271
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,434
NUMBER ONE: AT
YOUR WEDDING,
272
00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:11,437
HE KISSES THE
BEST MAN IN-
STEAD OF YOU.
273
00:18:11,437 --> 00:18:12,438
Others:
[ Laughing ]
274
00:18:12,938 --> 00:18:14,440
NUMBER TWO: FOR
YOUR BIRTHDAY,
275
00:18:14,940 --> 00:18:16,442
HE BRINGS YOU
FLOWERS,
276
00:18:16,442 --> 00:18:17,943
AND ARRANGES THEM.
277
00:18:17,943 --> 00:18:19,445
[ Laughter ]
278
00:18:19,445 --> 00:18:20,446
NUMBER THREE...
279
00:18:22,448 --> 00:18:23,449
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
280
00:18:23,449 --> 00:18:24,950
YOU'RE NOT LAUGHING.
281
00:18:24,950 --> 00:18:26,452
I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY
FUNNY, THAT'S ALL.
282
00:18:27,953 --> 00:18:29,955
WELL, I THINK
IT'S A SCREAM.
283
00:18:29,955 --> 00:18:30,956
DON'T YOU, MIKE?
284
00:18:32,458 --> 00:18:33,959
UH, I WASN'T
REALLY LISTENING.
285
00:18:39,465 --> 00:18:41,967
YOU'RE ENTITLED TO THINK
WHATEVER YOU WANT,
286
00:18:41,967 --> 00:18:43,469
AND SO AM I.
287
00:18:43,469 --> 00:18:44,970
AND WHAT I
THINK IS THAT...
288
00:18:46,472 --> 00:18:47,973
PEOPLE WHO
LAUGH AT JOKES
289
00:18:47,973 --> 00:18:49,475
THAT MAKE FUN
OF OTHER PEOPLE,
290
00:18:49,475 --> 00:18:51,477
WHOEVER
THEY ARE,
291
00:18:51,977 --> 00:18:52,978
ARE IGNORANT AND CRUEL.
292
00:18:57,483 --> 00:18:58,484
WHAT'S HER PROBLEM?
293
00:19:08,494 --> 00:19:09,995
MR. NOVOTNY?
294
00:19:11,497 --> 00:19:12,998
YES, TRACY?
295
00:19:12,998 --> 00:19:15,501
I WANTED TO GIVE
YOU SOMETHING.
296
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:17,002
WHAT?
297
00:19:17,002 --> 00:19:18,003
TWO WEEKS
NOTICE.
298
00:19:20,005 --> 00:19:22,007
I GOT A JOB
AT THE BIG
DOLLAR MART.
299
00:19:24,510 --> 00:19:26,512
I SHOULD REALLY
GET BACK, MY
BREAK'S OVER.
300
00:19:43,028 --> 00:19:44,029
I'M NOT INTERESTED.
301
00:19:46,532 --> 00:19:48,033
BRIAN, HEY.
302
00:19:48,033 --> 00:19:49,535
HOW'S IT GOING?
303
00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:51,537
WHAT DO
YOU WANT?
304
00:19:51,537 --> 00:19:53,539
TO TELL YOU WHAT A GREAT
TIME WE HAD LAST NIGHT.
305
00:19:53,539 --> 00:19:56,041
I WAS BORED OUT OF
MY FUCKING MIND.
306
00:19:58,043 --> 00:19:59,545
YEAH, WELL,
UH, YOU KNOW
307
00:19:59,545 --> 00:20:01,046
THAT'S THE SIGN OF
TRUE FRIENDSHIP.
308
00:20:01,046 --> 00:20:02,548
YOU KNOW, THAT IT
CAN, UH, ACCOMMODATE
309
00:20:02,548 --> 00:20:04,049
VASTLY DIVERGENT
POINTS OF VIEW.
310
00:20:04,049 --> 00:20:05,050
[ Chuckling ]
311
00:20:09,054 --> 00:20:10,055
I'M NOT INTERESTED.
312
00:20:15,561 --> 00:20:17,062
YOU KNOW, UH, JUST
OUT OF CURIOSITY,
313
00:20:17,062 --> 00:20:18,564
HOW MANY GUYS HIT
ON YOU A NIGHT?
314
00:20:20,566 --> 00:20:22,067
GIVE OR TAKE, 112.
315
00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,569
I DON'T KNOW.
316
00:20:23,569 --> 00:20:25,571
AMAZING.
317
00:20:25,571 --> 00:20:26,572
AND I ONLY NEED ONE.
318
00:20:30,075 --> 00:20:32,077
I'M NOT... INTERESTED.
319
00:20:34,079 --> 00:20:36,081
[ Clearing
of throat ]
UH, EXCUSE
ME. UM...
320
00:20:38,083 --> 00:20:39,084
YOU KNOW, UH...
321
00:20:40,085 --> 00:20:42,588
TAX SEASON
IS COMING UP,
AND, UH...
322
00:20:42,588 --> 00:20:45,090
YOU DON'T WANT
TO GET CAUGHT WITH
YOUR PANTS DOWN.
323
00:20:56,602 --> 00:20:57,603
I'M MATT.
324
00:20:58,604 --> 00:21:00,606
OF COURSE
YOU ARE.
325
00:21:01,106 --> 00:21:04,610
YOU'RE ALWAYS
MATT, OR SCOTT,
326
00:21:04,610 --> 00:21:06,111
OR... OR TODD...
327
00:21:07,112 --> 00:21:08,614
OR SOME OTHER
WONDERFUL,
328
00:21:08,614 --> 00:21:10,115
ONE SYLLABLE NAME.
329
00:21:11,617 --> 00:21:12,618
I'D OFFER TO
BUY YOU A DRINK,
330
00:21:12,618 --> 00:21:14,620
BUT SOMETHING
TELLS ME YOU
DON'T NEED ANOTHER.
331
00:21:14,620 --> 00:21:16,121
SOMETHING
TELLS ME...
332
00:21:17,623 --> 00:21:18,624
YOU MIGHT
BE RIGHT.
333
00:21:21,627 --> 00:21:23,128
NOW, IF YOU'LL
EXCUSE ME,
334
00:21:23,629 --> 00:21:25,631
I'M GOING
TO GO HOME.
335
00:21:25,631 --> 00:21:27,132
IT'S ALWAYS
NICER TO VOMIT
336
00:21:27,132 --> 00:21:28,133
IN YOUR
OWN TOILET.
337
00:21:31,637 --> 00:21:33,138
MAYBE I'D
BETTER GIVE
YOU A HAND.
338
00:21:35,140 --> 00:21:36,642
THANK YOU.
339
00:21:36,642 --> 00:21:38,644
Matt:
MAYBE YOU'RE JUST RE-
EVALUATING YOUR LIFE,
340
00:21:39,144 --> 00:21:40,145
QUESTIONING
YOUR CHOICES,
341
00:21:40,145 --> 00:21:43,148
WONDERING IF
THERE'S SOME-
THING BETTER.
342
00:21:43,148 --> 00:21:44,650
YEAH.
343
00:21:44,650 --> 00:21:47,152
YEAH, THAT'S
IT EXACTLY.
344
00:21:47,152 --> 00:21:49,154
HOW'D YOU KNOW?
345
00:21:49,154 --> 00:21:51,657
'CAUSE I'VE
SEEN THE LIGHT.
346
00:21:51,657 --> 00:21:53,158
AND SEEING HOW
MISERABLE YOU
LOOKED AT THE BAR
347
00:21:53,659 --> 00:21:55,661
MADE ME THINK
MAYBE YOU NEEDED
TO SEE IT TOO.
348
00:21:58,163 --> 00:21:59,665
WHAT'S THIS?
349
00:21:59,665 --> 00:22:00,666
A GROUP I BELONG TO.
350
00:22:02,167 --> 00:22:05,170
HMM, I DON'T DO
VERY WELL IN GROUPS.
351
00:22:05,170 --> 00:22:07,172
I GOT THROWN OUT OF THE
CUB SCOUTS FIRST WEEK.
352
00:22:07,172 --> 00:22:10,175
I MADE A FABULOUS NECKLACE
OUT OF SLIP KNOTS.
353
00:22:10,175 --> 00:22:11,677
EVERYONE'S WELCOME
IN THIS GROUP.
354
00:22:11,677 --> 00:22:13,679
AND IT'S ALL
PEOPLE LIKE US.
355
00:22:13,679 --> 00:22:15,180
LIKE US?
356
00:22:15,180 --> 00:22:17,182
PEOPLE WHO ARE
QUESTIONING
AND EVALUATING.
357
00:22:18,684 --> 00:22:21,186
WHY DON'T YOU COME TO
ONE OF OUR MEETINGS?
358
00:22:21,186 --> 00:22:22,688
ALL YOU'VE GOT TO
LOSE IS YOUR PAIN.
359
00:22:22,688 --> 00:22:35,701
[ ?????? ]
360
00:22:35,701 --> 00:22:37,703
YOU MAKE A
LOT OF TIPS.
361
00:22:37,703 --> 00:22:39,204
THAT'S 'CAUSE I'M CUTE.
362
00:22:39,204 --> 00:22:41,206
YEAH, AND
CONCEITED.
363
00:22:41,206 --> 00:22:43,709
I COULD FUCK PRACTICALLY
ANYONE I WANTED.
364
00:22:43,709 --> 00:22:44,710
SO WHY
DON'T YOU?
365
00:22:49,214 --> 00:22:50,716
[ Sighing ]
366
00:22:50,716 --> 00:22:51,717
NEVER MIND.
367
00:22:51,717 --> 00:22:53,218
THE ANSWER JUST
WALKED IN THE DOOR.
368
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,722
HEY.
369
00:22:56,722 --> 00:22:57,723
HOW'S IT GOING?
370
00:22:58,223 --> 00:22:59,725
[ Snorting ]
WHAT, YOU ACTUALLY
WANT TO KNOW?
371
00:23:00,225 --> 00:23:01,226
WELL, I ASKED, DIDN'T I?
372
00:23:04,229 --> 00:23:05,731
EVERYTHING'S FINE.
373
00:23:06,231 --> 00:23:07,232
GOOD.
374
00:23:08,734 --> 00:23:09,735
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING TONIGHT?
375
00:23:12,237 --> 00:23:13,238
HUH?
376
00:23:13,739 --> 00:23:16,742
ARE THESE
PARTICULARLY
HARD QUESTIONS?
377
00:23:17,743 --> 00:23:19,244
DO YOU WANT
TO COME OVER
AFTER WORK?
378
00:23:21,747 --> 00:23:23,248
REALLY?
379
00:23:25,250 --> 00:23:26,251
SURE.
380
00:23:26,251 --> 00:23:27,753
I'LL HAVE A
TURKEY SANDWICH,
381
00:23:27,753 --> 00:23:30,255
ON WHOLE GRAIN,
NO MAYO. TO GO.
382
00:23:34,259 --> 00:23:35,761
DO YOU REALIZE THIS
IS THE FIRST TIME
383
00:23:35,761 --> 00:23:37,262
HE'S EVER ASKED
ME TO COME OVER?
384
00:23:37,262 --> 00:23:38,764
SO WHAT DO YOU
THINK IT MEANS?
385
00:23:47,272 --> 00:23:48,774
IT MEANS HE
MISSES MICHAEL.
386
00:23:49,775 --> 00:23:51,276
[ Sighing ]
ARE THOSE GUYS REALLY
387
00:23:51,276 --> 00:23:52,778
NEVER GOING TO TALK
TO EACH OTHER AGAIN?
388
00:23:54,279 --> 00:23:55,781
LOOKS THAT WAY.
389
00:23:56,281 --> 00:23:57,282
SO WHY DON'T
YOU TALK TO HIM?
390
00:23:59,785 --> 00:24:00,285
ME?
391
00:24:00,786 --> 00:24:01,787
WELL, I THOUGHT
YOU LOVED BRIAN.
392
00:24:02,287 --> 00:24:04,289
AND YOU'RE STAYING
IN MICHAEL'S BEDROOM,
393
00:24:04,289 --> 00:24:05,791
WHICH MAKES YOU, LIKE,
THE MISSING LINK.
394
00:24:07,793 --> 00:24:08,794
WELL, GO ON.
395
00:24:15,801 --> 00:24:17,302
HEY, BOY
WONDER, UH...
396
00:24:17,302 --> 00:24:19,805
A COUPLE
OF LEMON
SQUARES. TO GO.
397
00:24:19,805 --> 00:24:20,806
SURE.
398
00:24:31,316 --> 00:24:32,818
AREN'T YOU GOING
TO TALK TO HIM?
399
00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:36,321
WHAT FOR?
400
00:24:36,321 --> 00:24:37,823
HE'S RIGHT
THERE.
401
00:24:37,823 --> 00:24:38,824
STAY THE FUCK
OUT OF IT.
402
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:55,340
YOU GUYS
SHOULD TALK.
403
00:24:55,841 --> 00:24:56,842
YOU SHOULD
MIND YOUR
OWN BUSINESS.
404
00:24:57,342 --> 00:24:58,844
BUT HE'S YOUR
BEST FRIEND.
405
00:24:58,844 --> 00:25:00,846
JUST GIVE
ME THE LEMON
SQUARES.
406
00:25:00,846 --> 00:25:02,347
HEY, WHERE'S
MY ORDER?
407
00:25:06,351 --> 00:25:07,853
THIS IS A
TURKEY SANDWICH.
408
00:25:09,354 --> 00:25:10,856
THESE ARE
LEMON SQUARES.
409
00:25:30,876 --> 00:25:32,878
HONEY, I'M HOME!
410
00:25:32,878 --> 00:25:34,379
GOD, I HAVE ALWAYS
WANTED TO SAY THAT.
411
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:36,381
HEY, I THOUGHT
I HEARD YOU
COMING IN.
412
00:25:37,883 --> 00:25:39,885
AND HONEY, YOU
REALLY ARE HOME.
413
00:25:39,885 --> 00:25:42,387
YEAH, I PICKED
THESE UP
FOR DESERT.
414
00:25:42,387 --> 00:25:43,388
HOW WAS THE...
415
00:25:44,389 --> 00:25:45,390
GAME?
416
00:25:48,393 --> 00:25:50,395
PENGUINS LOST
IN OVERTIME.
417
00:25:50,395 --> 00:25:51,897
THESE ARE
BEAUTIFUL.
418
00:25:53,398 --> 00:25:54,900
THE PLACE
LOOKS DIFFERENT.
419
00:25:55,901 --> 00:25:57,402
YEAH, WELL I...
420
00:25:58,904 --> 00:26:00,906
I PUT A FEW
THINGS AWAY.
421
00:26:01,406 --> 00:26:02,908
YEAH, LIKE...
ALL MY STUFF.
422
00:26:04,910 --> 00:26:08,413
OH, WELL IT WAS A
BIT, UH, CLUTTERED.
423
00:26:11,416 --> 00:26:13,418
HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
MY DAY?
MY...
424
00:26:13,418 --> 00:26:14,920
MY DAY WAS COMPELLING.
425
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,923
CHOCK FULL OF EVENT. WE GOT
A NEW HANDICAP RAMP, AND...
426
00:26:17,923 --> 00:26:21,426
FAT MARLEY REGALED US
WITH HER WITTY REPER-
TOIRE OF FAG JOKES.
427
00:26:21,426 --> 00:26:23,929
[ Chuckling ]
WHAT DID YOU DO?
428
00:26:24,429 --> 00:26:26,431
I TOLD HER
I'M AN OUT-AND-
PROUD HOMOSEXUAL,
429
00:26:26,431 --> 00:26:28,433
AND IF SHE DOESN'T
LIKE IT SHE
CAN SUCK MY DICK.
430
00:26:28,433 --> 00:26:29,434
[ Laughing ]
431
00:26:30,936 --> 00:26:31,937
I DIDN'T DO
ANYTHING.
432
00:26:33,438 --> 00:26:34,940
TRACY DID.
433
00:26:34,940 --> 00:26:35,941
SHE STOOD RIGHT UP TO HER.
434
00:26:37,943 --> 00:26:39,444
GOOD. SO SHE'S
STILL YOUR FRIEND.
435
00:26:41,446 --> 00:26:42,447
I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.
436
00:26:44,449 --> 00:26:46,451
HEY, WELL ONE GOOD
THING CAME OUT OF
WHAT BRIAN DID.
437
00:26:48,954 --> 00:26:50,956
IT MADE YOU
REALIZE THAT
YOU BELONG
HERE WITH ME.
438
00:26:52,958 --> 00:26:54,960
TAKE OFF YOUR
JACKET, GET
READY FOR DINNER.
439
00:27:07,973 --> 00:27:09,975
Justin:
ONE SPOONFUL LEFT.
440
00:27:09,975 --> 00:27:10,976
YOU WANT IT?
441
00:27:11,977 --> 00:27:12,978
NO, IT'LL MEAN
10 MORE MINUTES
442
00:27:12,978 --> 00:27:14,980
ON THE STAIRMASTER.
443
00:27:14,980 --> 00:27:15,981
COME ON.
444
00:27:16,481 --> 00:27:18,483
I WANT TO SEE
YOU LICK IT
OFF THE SPOON.
445
00:27:33,999 --> 00:27:36,501
MMM, ICE
CREAM KISS.
446
00:27:39,004 --> 00:27:41,506
YOU SHOULD EAT
MORE, YOU KNOW.
447
00:27:41,506 --> 00:27:43,008
MY MOM SAYS
YOU'RE TOO
SKINNY.
448
00:27:44,509 --> 00:27:46,511
YOUR MOM?
MM-HMM.
449
00:27:46,511 --> 00:27:48,513
SHE DOESN'T
COMPLETELY HATE
YOU, YOU KNOW.
450
00:27:50,515 --> 00:27:52,517
I TOLD HER
YOU WERE
ALWAYS SKINNY,
451
00:27:52,517 --> 00:27:55,020
EVEN WHEN YOU WERE
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
452
00:27:55,020 --> 00:27:57,522
YOU DON'T KNOW
WHAT I LOOKED LIKE
IN HIGH SCHOOL.
453
00:27:57,522 --> 00:27:59,024
I LIVE IN
MICHAEL'S OLD
ROOM, REMEMBER?
454
00:28:00,525 --> 00:28:02,527
WITH ALL HIS
OLD HIGH SCHOOL
YEARBOOKS.
455
00:28:02,527 --> 00:28:04,029
PICTURES
OF YOU.
456
00:28:04,029 --> 00:28:05,530
[ Chuckling ]
457
00:28:05,530 --> 00:28:07,032
YOU WERE A GEEK.
458
00:28:07,032 --> 00:28:08,533
I WAS NEVER
A GEEK.
459
00:28:08,533 --> 00:28:10,535
THEN EXPLAIN
CHEMISTRY CLUB.
460
00:28:11,036 --> 00:28:13,538
THAT'S WHERE I
LEARNED TO BUILD
THE BOMB TO BLOW
UP THE SCHOOL.
461
00:28:13,538 --> 00:28:15,540
[ Laughing ]
462
00:28:15,540 --> 00:28:18,043
BUT MIKEY TALKED
ME OUT OF IT.
463
00:28:18,043 --> 00:28:19,544
GOOD THING HE WAS AROUND.
464
00:28:23,048 --> 00:28:24,549
I BET YOU WISH HE
WAS HERE RIGHT NOW.
465
00:28:24,549 --> 00:28:26,551
WOULD YOU SHUT
THE FUCK UP
ABOUT HIM?
466
00:28:28,053 --> 00:28:30,055
I BET YOU'RE
SECRETLY WISHING
467
00:28:30,055 --> 00:28:32,057
THAT THE PHONE
WOULD RING AND
IT WOULD BE HIM...
468
00:28:32,057 --> 00:28:33,558
I SAID SHUT
THE FUCK UP.
469
00:28:38,563 --> 00:28:39,564
HIS LIFE...
470
00:28:41,066 --> 00:28:42,567
WAS JUST GOING
TO HANG THERE
LIKE SOME SHIRT
471
00:28:42,567 --> 00:28:45,070
IN THE CLOSET
YOU NEVER WEAR.
472
00:28:45,070 --> 00:28:46,571
SO YOU PUSHED
HIM AWAY.
473
00:28:46,571 --> 00:28:49,074
IT WAS THE
ONLY COURSE
OF ACTION.
474
00:28:49,074 --> 00:28:51,576
YEAH, BUT NOW
HE HATES YOU.
475
00:28:51,576 --> 00:28:53,078
THAT'S OKAY. AS LONG
AS MIKEY'S HAPPY.
476
00:28:55,580 --> 00:28:58,083
GOD, YOU MUST
REALLY LOVE HIM.
477
00:29:01,586 --> 00:29:03,588
I THINK IT'S TIME
FOR YOU TO GO.
[ Chuckling ]
478
00:29:05,090 --> 00:29:06,591
IT ALWAYS IS.
479
00:29:08,593 --> 00:29:11,096
LUCKILY,
YOU CAN'T
PUSH ME AWAY.
480
00:29:15,600 --> 00:29:16,601
I'M ON TO YOU.
481
00:29:32,117 --> 00:29:51,636
[ ?????? ]
482
00:29:51,636 --> 00:29:53,638
EMMETT, YOU CAME.
483
00:29:53,638 --> 00:29:54,639
IT'S GOOD
TO SEE YOU.
484
00:29:55,140 --> 00:29:57,142
Man:
HI, I'M TY
AND I HAVE
SEEN THE LIGHT.
485
00:29:57,142 --> 00:29:58,643
COME ON,
LET'S GO.
486
00:29:58,643 --> 00:30:00,145
Group:
HI, TY.
487
00:30:00,145 --> 00:30:02,647
OUR FIRST SPEAKER
TONIGHT IS GINGER.
488
00:30:02,647 --> 00:30:04,649
AND SHE WAS FORMERLY
IN THE DARK,
489
00:30:05,150 --> 00:30:06,651
BUT NOW SHE'S...
490
00:30:06,651 --> 00:30:07,652
Group:
SEEN THE LIGHT.
491
00:30:11,156 --> 00:30:14,159
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I,
UH, USED TO BE A LESBIAN.
492
00:30:14,159 --> 00:30:15,660
USED TO BE?
493
00:30:15,660 --> 00:30:17,662
BUT THANKS
TO TY AND
494
00:30:17,662 --> 00:30:19,164
EVERY BEAUTIFUL
PERSON HERE,
495
00:30:19,164 --> 00:30:21,666
I'VE SHED MY
FORMER CORRUPT SELF
496
00:30:21,666 --> 00:30:26,671
AND BECOME THE NEW,
PURIFIED HETEROSEXUAL ME.
497
00:30:26,671 --> 00:30:27,672
[ Clapping ]
498
00:30:31,676 --> 00:30:32,677
AS YOU CAN SEE,
499
00:30:32,677 --> 00:30:35,180
THE ONLY THING
THAT COMES OUT
HERE IS THE TRUTH.
500
00:30:35,180 --> 00:30:37,682
YOU DIDN'T TELL
ME THIS WAS
A COMEDY CLUB.
EMMETT.
501
00:30:37,682 --> 00:30:40,685
I CAN TELL YOU, AND
GINGER CAN TELL YOU,
502
00:30:40,685 --> 00:30:44,189
THAT WHAT YOU'RE ALL
HOPING AND PRAYING FOR
503
00:30:44,689 --> 00:30:46,691
IS NOT AN
IMPOSSIBLE DREAM.
504
00:30:46,691 --> 00:30:48,693
IT CAN COME
TRUE FOR YOU,
505
00:30:48,693 --> 00:30:51,696
THE SAME WAY IT'S
COME TRUE FOR US.
506
00:30:52,197 --> 00:30:54,699
YOU CAN CHANGE,
YOU CAN CHANGE,
507
00:30:54,699 --> 00:30:56,701
Group:
YOU CAN CHANGE.
508
00:30:56,701 --> 00:30:58,703
I'D START WITH
THOSE SHOES.
509
00:31:02,707 --> 00:31:03,708
YOU.
510
00:31:05,210 --> 00:31:06,711
UH, M-ME?
511
00:31:06,711 --> 00:31:07,712
YOU'VE GOT YOUR
DOUBTS, DON'T YOU?
512
00:31:09,714 --> 00:31:12,217
WELL, LET ME
ASK YOU A FEW
QUESTIONS.
513
00:31:12,217 --> 00:31:14,719
DO YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS
OBSESS ABOUT YOUR BODIES
514
00:31:14,719 --> 00:31:16,221
AND THE BODIES
OF OTHER MEN?
515
00:31:17,222 --> 00:31:18,223
CHECK OUT
HIS PECS.
516
00:31:18,223 --> 00:31:19,724
THEY'RE, LIKE,
PERFECT.
517
00:31:19,724 --> 00:31:21,726
THEY'RE, LIKE,
IMPLANTS.
518
00:31:21,726 --> 00:31:24,729
DO YOUR CONVER-
SATIONS CENTRE
AROUND TRIVIALITIES?
519
00:31:24,729 --> 00:31:27,732
SUCH AS,
MOVIE STARS?
520
00:31:27,732 --> 00:31:30,235
DID YOU HEAR
THAT CHER HAD HER
PUSSY TIGHTENED?
521
00:31:30,235 --> 00:31:31,736
WHERE'D YOU
READ THAT?
"THE ENQUIRER"
522
00:31:32,237 --> 00:31:33,238
OR "POPULAR
MECHANICS"?
523
00:31:33,738 --> 00:31:35,740
ARE YOUR DAYS
AND NIGHTS SPENT
AT THE GYM
524
00:31:35,740 --> 00:31:37,242
AND IN BARS?
525
00:31:37,242 --> 00:31:40,245
GOING HOME WITH MEN WHOSE
NAMES YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW?
526
00:31:40,245 --> 00:31:44,749
SO HE'S COMING
AND HE'S GOING,
"FRED, FRED!"
527
00:31:44,749 --> 00:31:46,751
[ Laughing ]
FRED, WHO'S FRED?
528
00:31:46,751 --> 00:31:49,754
IF SO, MAYBE
YOU SHOULD
ASK YOURSELF,
529
00:31:49,754 --> 00:31:52,257
"IS THIS THE
LIFE I WANT
FOR ME?"
530
00:31:52,257 --> 00:31:54,759
"IS THIS THE LIFE
GOD WANTS FOR ME?"
531
00:31:57,262 --> 00:31:58,763
"IS THERE A
BETTER LIFE?"
532
00:32:02,767 --> 00:32:04,269
David:
YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR SOMETHING?
533
00:32:04,769 --> 00:32:06,771
YEAH, MY BEACH
BALL ALARM CLOCK.
534
00:32:10,775 --> 00:32:14,779
THIS CLOCK IS
FROM THE MUSEUM
OF MODERN ART
DESIGN COLLECTION.
535
00:32:17,282 --> 00:32:18,783
I THOUGHT YOU
SAID THIS IS
MY PLACE TOO.
536
00:32:19,284 --> 00:32:20,785
IT IS.
537
00:32:20,785 --> 00:32:22,287
WELL, HOW COME
I DON'T SEE ANY
OF MY THINGS?
538
00:32:28,793 --> 00:32:30,795
MICHAEL, UH, YOU
KNOW, YOUR THINGS,
539
00:32:31,796 --> 00:32:33,298
YOUR TOYS?
THEY'RE, THEY'RE...
540
00:32:33,298 --> 00:32:35,800
THEY'RE CUTE,
THEY'RE CUTE
LIKE YOU.
541
00:32:36,301 --> 00:32:38,303
BUT YOU KNOW,
THEY S...
542
00:32:38,303 --> 00:32:39,304
THEY SORT OF
DON'T BELONG.
543
00:32:43,808 --> 00:32:46,311
LET ME EXPLAIN IT
BY SAYING THAT...
544
00:32:46,311 --> 00:32:48,813
THIS IS AN
ARCHITECTURAL
HOUSE.
545
00:32:49,314 --> 00:32:51,316
EVERYTHING HAS
ITS PLACE.
546
00:32:51,316 --> 00:32:53,318
SO, IF YOU
CLUTTER IT UP,
547
00:32:53,318 --> 00:32:54,819
IT RUINS THE
AESTHETIC.
548
00:32:54,819 --> 00:32:57,322
OH, SO I'M
"CLUTTERING IT UP".
549
00:32:57,322 --> 00:32:58,323
NO! OH...
550
00:32:59,324 --> 00:33:00,825
I DIDN'T MEAN
IT THAT WAY.
551
00:33:01,326 --> 00:33:03,828
THEY'RE NOT
JUST TOYS.
552
00:33:03,828 --> 00:33:05,330
OKAY, SOME OF THEM ARE
COLLECTOR'S ITEMS,
553
00:33:05,330 --> 00:33:07,332
LIKE MY JAPANESE ROBOTS.
554
00:33:07,332 --> 00:33:09,834
OR... OR MY
BAKELITE BATMOBILE.
555
00:33:09,834 --> 00:33:11,336
THAT WAS MADE DURING
WORLD WAR TWO,
556
00:33:11,336 --> 00:33:13,338
WHEN METAL WAS SCARCE.
557
00:33:14,839 --> 00:33:18,843
AND... EVEN IF THEY
WERE WORTHLESS,
558
00:33:20,845 --> 00:33:24,349
THEY WOULD STILL BE
WORTH SOMETHING TO ME.
559
00:33:24,349 --> 00:33:25,850
BECAUSE I LOVE THEM.
560
00:33:28,853 --> 00:33:29,854
I KIND OF THOUGHT
YOU KNEW THAT.
561
00:33:44,369 --> 00:33:45,870
[ Panting ]
LOOK, I JUST,
562
00:33:45,870 --> 00:33:48,373
I JUST GOT
YOUR PHONE CALL.
563
00:33:48,373 --> 00:33:50,375
I LIT-LITERALLY
RAN OVER HERE.
564
00:33:50,375 --> 00:33:52,377
SO, WHAT IS
THE EMERGENCY?
565
00:33:52,377 --> 00:33:53,878
HIM.
566
00:33:53,878 --> 00:33:55,880
HE'S HERE EVERY DAY NOW,
SHOWING UP FOR MEALS.
567
00:33:55,880 --> 00:33:57,882
WE'RE SUDDENLY ONE BIG
HAPPY FUCKING FAMILY.
568
00:33:58,883 --> 00:33:59,884
I DON'T KNOW,
569
00:34:00,385 --> 00:34:02,387
I SENSE SOME
TENSION BETWEEN
YOU AND MEL.
570
00:34:02,887 --> 00:34:03,888
[ Chuckling ]
571
00:34:04,389 --> 00:34:07,392
WELL, SHE BLAMES
ME FOR EVERYTHING.
572
00:34:07,392 --> 00:34:08,393
INCLUDING YOU.
573
00:34:10,395 --> 00:34:13,398
YOU SHOULD HAVE KEPT YOUR
PROMISE TO GIVE HER GUS.
574
00:34:13,398 --> 00:34:15,400
IF SHE WANTS A
KID, SHE CAN HAVE
ONE OF HER OWN.
575
00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:16,401
NO, SHE CAN'T.
576
00:34:17,902 --> 00:34:19,904
GUS WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE HERS AND MINE.
577
00:34:19,904 --> 00:34:21,406
NOT YOURS
AND MINE.
578
00:34:23,408 --> 00:34:24,909
Ted:
WELL, LINDSAY'S
ALWAYS COMPLAINING
579
00:34:24,909 --> 00:34:26,411
HE NEVER SPENDS
ENOUGH TIME
WITH GUS.
580
00:34:26,911 --> 00:34:27,912
OH, YOU'RE A BIG HELP.
581
00:34:28,413 --> 00:34:29,414
CAN'T YOU DO
SOMETHING?
582
00:34:29,414 --> 00:34:30,415
LIKE WHAT?
583
00:34:30,915 --> 00:34:31,916
LIKE GET HIM AND
MICHAEL BACK TOGETHER
584
00:34:31,916 --> 00:34:33,918
SO HE WILL
LEAVE US ALONE.
585
00:34:33,918 --> 00:34:35,920
ARE YOU KIDDING?
YOU EVEN MENTION
MICHAEL'S NAME,
586
00:34:36,421 --> 00:34:37,422
HE'LL TEAR
YOUR HEAD OFF.
587
00:34:37,922 --> 00:34:39,424
YEAH? WELL THAT'S WHAT
I'M ABOUT TO DO TO HIM.
588
00:34:39,424 --> 00:34:40,925
SHE ALSO
THINKS I'VE
TURNED INTO
589
00:34:40,925 --> 00:34:43,928
THIS COLD,
UNRESPONSIVE BITCH.
590
00:34:44,429 --> 00:34:44,929
HAVE YOU?
591
00:34:47,432 --> 00:34:48,433
MAYBE A LITTLE.
592
00:34:49,934 --> 00:34:51,936
WELL THEN YOU SHOULD FIND
YOURSELF SOME NICE,
593
00:34:51,936 --> 00:34:54,939
FUZZY LEZZIE WITH A
THERAPIST'S LICENSE
AND WORK IT OUT.
594
00:34:55,440 --> 00:34:56,441
THAT'S WHAT
MEL WANTS.
595
00:34:57,942 --> 00:34:58,943
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
596
00:35:01,446 --> 00:35:02,447
I WANT...
597
00:35:03,448 --> 00:35:05,450
I...
[ Sighing ]
598
00:35:09,454 --> 00:35:10,455
[ Clearing of throat ]
599
00:35:10,455 --> 00:35:11,956
I WANT A BAGEL.
600
00:35:11,956 --> 00:35:13,958
AND AFTER THAT,
I DON'T KNOW.
601
00:35:13,958 --> 00:35:14,959
ALL I KNOW IS THAT...
602
00:35:17,962 --> 00:35:19,964
IF I TALK, I MIGHT SAY
SOMETHING I REGRET.
603
00:35:21,466 --> 00:35:23,468
IT MIGHT BE
GOOD FOR YOU.
604
00:35:23,968 --> 00:35:25,470
LET OUT SOME OF
THOSE NASTY DEMONS.
605
00:35:25,470 --> 00:35:26,971
BUT I'M NOT LIKE THAT.
606
00:35:26,971 --> 00:35:28,473
SEE, I'M A WASP.
607
00:35:28,473 --> 00:35:29,974
FROM A FAMILY OF WASPS.
608
00:35:31,976 --> 00:35:34,479
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
I-I'LL TAKE HIM TO THE
TEA-DANCE AT WOODY'S.
609
00:35:34,479 --> 00:35:35,480
GREAT IDEA.
610
00:35:35,980 --> 00:35:37,482
THANKS, TEDDY.
YEAH.
611
00:35:37,482 --> 00:35:39,984
I'M NOT REALLY DOING
IT FOR YOU, YOU KNOW.
612
00:35:39,984 --> 00:35:40,985
HANGING WITH BRIAN...
613
00:35:42,487 --> 00:35:44,489
BEST THING THAT'S EVER
HAPPENED TO MY SEX LIFE.
614
00:35:45,990 --> 00:35:48,493
Man: [ On P.A. ]
VIDEO TAPE SPECIAL
TODAY, 10 PACK...
615
00:35:48,493 --> 00:35:49,494
SEE YA, MARLEY.
616
00:35:49,994 --> 00:35:50,495
BYE, TRACE.
617
00:35:55,500 --> 00:35:56,000
BYE,
MR. NOVOTNY.
618
00:36:00,505 --> 00:36:01,005
TRACY!
619
00:36:03,508 --> 00:36:05,510
YES, MR.
NOVOTNY?
620
00:36:05,510 --> 00:36:08,012
WOULD YOU STOP
CALLING ME
THAT, PLEASE?
621
00:36:08,012 --> 00:36:10,014
WHAT SHOULD
I CALL YOU?
622
00:36:10,014 --> 00:36:12,517
WELL, I'M SURE
YOU COULD THINK
OF A FEW THINGS.
623
00:36:13,518 --> 00:36:14,519
I HAVE TO GO.
624
00:36:16,020 --> 00:36:18,022
YOU DON'T HAVE
TO LEAVE YOUR JOB.
625
00:36:18,022 --> 00:36:21,025
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG WITH THE
BIG DOLLAR MART?
626
00:36:21,025 --> 00:36:24,028
WELL, IT'S
NOT EXACTLY
THE BIG Q.
627
00:36:24,028 --> 00:36:26,030
NO, BUT AT LEAST
PEOPLE SEEM
HONEST THERE.
628
00:36:29,534 --> 00:36:32,036
YOU PROBABLY THINK
THIS IS ALL ABOUT YOU
BEING GAY, DON'T YOU?
629
00:36:34,038 --> 00:36:37,041
WELL, I ADMIT, IT MIGHT
HAVE BEEN AT FIRST.
630
00:36:38,543 --> 00:36:40,545
BUT THAT'S
NOT THE POINT
ANY MORE.
631
00:36:40,545 --> 00:36:43,047
WHETHER YOU'RE GAY
OR YOU'RE STRAIGHT,
632
00:36:43,047 --> 00:36:44,549
I THOUGHT WE
WERE FRIENDS.
633
00:36:44,549 --> 00:36:46,551
WE ARE.
WELL, FRIENDS
TRUST EACH OTHER.
634
00:36:48,553 --> 00:36:50,054
WHAT DID YOU
THINK WOULD HAPPEN
IF YOU TOLD ME?
635
00:36:50,555 --> 00:36:52,056
THAT I'D TELL
EVERYONE AT
THE STORE?
636
00:36:54,058 --> 00:36:55,560
I WOULDN'T HAVE, MIKE.
637
00:36:57,061 --> 00:36:58,062
DON'T YOU KNOW THAT?
638
00:37:00,064 --> 00:37:00,565
I SHOULD'VE.
639
00:37:02,567 --> 00:37:05,069
BUT WHEN YOU
SPEND YOUR ENTIRE
LIFE KEEPING
IT A SECRET...
640
00:37:06,571 --> 00:37:09,073
WHO YOU
REALLY ARE,
641
00:37:09,574 --> 00:37:11,075
YOU LEARN TO
STOP TRUSTING
PEOPLE
642
00:37:11,075 --> 00:37:13,077
AND IT BECOMES
SECOND NATURE.
643
00:37:16,581 --> 00:37:18,082
IT KILLS ME THAT
I HURT YOU, TRACE,
644
00:37:18,082 --> 00:37:20,084
AND I'D DO ANYTHING
TO TAKE THAT BACK.
645
00:37:22,086 --> 00:37:24,088
I KNOW I
DON'T DESERVE
TO ASK THIS...
646
00:37:26,090 --> 00:37:28,092
BUT DO YOU
THINK WE COULD
STILL BE FRIENDS?
647
00:37:30,094 --> 00:37:32,096
DO YOU THINK
WE COULD BE
FRIENDS?
648
00:37:36,601 --> 00:37:40,104
WELL, WHY DON'T WE GO
HAVE A CUP OF BIG Q
COFFEE AND FIND OUT?
649
00:37:41,606 --> 00:37:42,607
I'D LIKE THAT.
650
00:37:42,607 --> 00:37:43,608
BUT I-I REALLY
DO HAVE TO GO.
651
00:37:45,109 --> 00:37:46,110
I HAVE A DATE.
652
00:37:48,112 --> 00:37:49,113
IS HE STRAIGHT?
653
00:37:50,114 --> 00:37:51,616
[ Snorting ]
[ Chuckling ]
654
00:37:51,616 --> 00:37:53,618
[ Cooing ]
655
00:37:54,118 --> 00:37:54,619
[ Giggling ]
656
00:38:00,625 --> 00:38:03,127
AT LAST, NOW
WE HAVE THE
HOUSE TO OURSELF,
657
00:38:03,127 --> 00:38:04,128
ALONE.
658
00:38:08,132 --> 00:38:12,136
OH, BY THE WAY, JANET
AND THAT DICKHEAD
HUSBAND OF HERS,
659
00:38:12,136 --> 00:38:13,638
THEY FINALLY
SENT US A CARD
660
00:38:13,638 --> 00:38:15,640
CONGRATULATING
US ON GUS.
661
00:38:15,640 --> 00:38:17,141
ONLY TOOK
THREE MONTHS.
662
00:38:22,146 --> 00:38:24,148
YOU EXPECT
TOO MUCH, MEL.
663
00:38:24,148 --> 00:38:25,149
WHAT?
664
00:38:26,651 --> 00:38:28,653
I SAID YOU
EXPECT TOO MUCH.
665
00:38:28,653 --> 00:38:32,156
THAT MY SISTER COULD
AT LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE
THE BIRTH OF OUR SON?
666
00:38:32,156 --> 00:38:34,158
OF ME.
667
00:38:34,158 --> 00:38:36,160
YOU WANT ALL MY
TIME, MY DEVOTION
668
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:38,162
AND IF YOU DON'T
GET IT, YOU THINK
WE HAVE A PROBLEM.
669
00:38:39,664 --> 00:38:41,666
YOU GET ANGRY THAT I SEE
THE BABY MORE THAN YOU.
670
00:38:41,666 --> 00:38:44,168
YOU BLAME ME BECAUSE
BRIAN WOULDN'T GIVE
YOU PARENTAL RIGHTS,
671
00:38:44,168 --> 00:38:46,671
I SUPPOSE IT'S EVEN MY
FAULT THAT I CAN HAVE
A CHILD AND YOU CAN'T.
672
00:38:47,171 --> 00:38:49,173
HEY, THAT'S
NOT FAIR.
673
00:38:49,173 --> 00:38:51,676
I FEEL LIKE
I SPEND HALF
MY LIFE APOLO-
GIZING TO YOU,
674
00:38:52,176 --> 00:38:54,178
TRYING TO CONVINCE
YOU THAT I LOVE YOU.
675
00:38:56,180 --> 00:38:57,682
ONLY NOTHING'S
EVER ENOUGH.
676
00:39:00,184 --> 00:39:02,687
I'M STARTING TO WONDER IF
ANYTHING EVER COULD BE.
677
00:39:10,695 --> 00:39:11,195
[ Sighing ]
678
00:39:19,704 --> 00:39:21,706
WELL, I ASKED YOU
TO TALK, AND YOU DID.
679
00:39:30,715 --> 00:39:42,727
[ ?????? ]
680
00:39:42,727 --> 00:39:43,728
[ Groaning ]
681
00:39:46,230 --> 00:39:48,733
I TELL YOU,
HANGING WITH BRIAN
IS EXHAUSTING.
682
00:39:50,234 --> 00:39:53,237
BUT IT'S WORTH
IT FOR THE SEX.
683
00:39:53,237 --> 00:39:55,239
YOU'RE HAVING
SEX WITH BRIAN?
684
00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,241
OF COURSE NOT.
685
00:39:57,241 --> 00:39:58,743
WE HAVE SYMBIOSIS.
686
00:39:58,743 --> 00:40:00,244
OH MY GOD.
687
00:40:00,244 --> 00:40:01,746
IS THERE ANYTHING
THEY CAN DO?
688
00:40:01,746 --> 00:40:03,247
YOU MUSTN'T
GIVE UP HOPE.
689
00:40:03,247 --> 00:40:04,749
IT'S NOT A DISEASE,
690
00:40:05,249 --> 00:40:06,751
IT'S A PERFECT
RELATIONSHIP.
691
00:40:06,751 --> 00:40:08,252
YOU KNOW,
LIKE, UH,
692
00:40:08,753 --> 00:40:09,754
THE YELLOW TICK
BIRD AND THE
RHINOCEROS.
693
00:40:11,756 --> 00:40:14,258
THE YELLOW TICK
BIRD FEEDS ON
PARASITES
694
00:40:14,258 --> 00:40:16,761
ON THE RHINO'S
SKIN, AND IN TURN,
695
00:40:16,761 --> 00:40:19,263
THE RHINO
IS WARNED OF
IMPENDING DANGER
696
00:40:19,263 --> 00:40:21,766
WHEN THE TICK
BIRD FLIES AWAY.
697
00:40:21,766 --> 00:40:25,770
SIMILARLY, I
SUPPLY BRIAN
698
00:40:25,770 --> 00:40:27,772
WITH AN OBJECT OF
SCORN AND RIDICULE,
699
00:40:27,772 --> 00:40:29,774
NAMELY MYSELF,
700
00:40:29,774 --> 00:40:31,776
AND HE SUPPLIES ME
701
00:40:32,276 --> 00:40:33,778
WITH UNWANTED TICKS,
702
00:40:33,778 --> 00:40:35,279
UH, TRICKS.
703
00:40:35,780 --> 00:40:37,281
YOU'RE DOING THIS
FOR CASTOFFS?
704
00:40:37,281 --> 00:40:41,285
WELL, IN BED
YOU CAN'T TELL.
705
00:40:41,285 --> 00:40:42,286
THEY'RE AS GOOD AS NEW.
706
00:40:44,288 --> 00:40:48,292
TED, HAVE YOU
EVER ASKED
YOURSELF...
707
00:40:49,794 --> 00:40:52,797
"IS... IS GOING
TO TEA-DANCES
WITH BRIAN AND...
708
00:40:52,797 --> 00:40:55,299
HAVING INDIS-
CRIMINATE SEX WITH
COUNTLESS STRANGERS
709
00:40:55,299 --> 00:40:57,802
REALLY THE
LIFE I WANT?"
710
00:40:57,802 --> 00:41:00,805
I HAVE. AND
THE ANSWER IS,
711
00:41:00,805 --> 00:41:02,306
"YOU BET YOUR
ASS IT IS."
712
00:41:04,308 --> 00:41:05,810
HAVE YOU... HAVE
YOU EVER WONDERED,
713
00:41:05,810 --> 00:41:07,812
"IS THIS
THE LIFE GOD
WANTS FOR ME?"
714
00:41:07,812 --> 00:41:11,816
WELL, I SUPPOSE
IN HIS INFINITE
WISDOM,
715
00:41:11,816 --> 00:41:13,818
HE DECIDED SOME-
BODY HAD TO LIVE
IN PITTSBURGH.
716
00:41:15,820 --> 00:41:17,822
HAVE YOU EVER
WONDERED "IS...
717
00:41:17,822 --> 00:41:19,824
IS THERE A
BETTER LIFE?"
718
00:41:20,324 --> 00:41:20,825
YEAH.
719
00:41:22,326 --> 00:41:24,328
I COULD HAVE A
10-INCH DICK AND
LOOK LIKE HIM.
720
00:41:26,330 --> 00:41:27,832
WELL, WHO WOULDN'T
WANT THAT?
721
00:41:33,337 --> 00:41:49,353
[ ?????? ]
722
00:41:49,353 --> 00:41:50,855
HI.
723
00:41:51,856 --> 00:41:53,357
WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
724
00:41:53,357 --> 00:41:55,359
LOOKING FOR YOU.
725
00:41:55,359 --> 00:41:56,861
WELL, HOW'D
YOU FIND ME?
726
00:41:56,861 --> 00:41:59,363
WELL, FIRST I ASKED YOUR
MOM, THEN I CALLED DAVID.
727
00:41:59,363 --> 00:42:00,865
IS THERE ANYONE
YOU DIDN'T ASK?
728
00:42:00,865 --> 00:42:02,867
THEN I ASKED BRIAN.
729
00:42:02,867 --> 00:42:03,868
WHAT'D YOU
DO THAT FOR?
730
00:42:03,868 --> 00:42:06,370
LOOK, JUST
BUTT OUT.
731
00:42:06,370 --> 00:42:07,872
I TOLD YOU BEFORE,
THIS IS NONE OF
YOUR BUSINESS.
732
00:42:08,372 --> 00:42:11,876
YEAH, HE SAID THAT
WHENEVER YOU FEEL
SAD OR UPSET,
733
00:42:11,876 --> 00:42:13,377
THIS IS WHERE YOU COME.
734
00:42:13,878 --> 00:42:15,880
THAT JUST BEING
AROUND ALL THESE COMICS
735
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:17,882
BRINGS THE LIGHT
INTO YOUR EYES.
736
00:42:20,384 --> 00:42:22,386
HE SAID THAT?
737
00:42:22,386 --> 00:42:24,388
I GUESS HE KNOWS
YOU PRETTY WELL.
738
00:42:24,388 --> 00:42:25,389
WELL, HE DOESN'T
KNOW ME ANY MORE.
739
00:42:28,893 --> 00:42:30,394
YEAH.
740
00:42:30,394 --> 00:42:32,897
THAT IS WHY
HE GOT YOU THIS.
741
00:42:34,899 --> 00:42:37,902
I TOLD HIM ALREADY,
I DON'T WANT HIS
CRUMMY PRESENT.
742
00:42:37,902 --> 00:42:38,903
WAIT!
743
00:42:41,405 --> 00:42:42,406
HE MISSES YOU.
744
00:42:42,406 --> 00:42:43,908
HE'S MISERABLE
WITHOUT YOU.
745
00:42:43,908 --> 00:42:46,410
WELL GOOD, HE
DESERVES TO BE.
746
00:42:46,410 --> 00:42:48,412
HE LOVES YOU.
747
00:42:48,412 --> 00:42:49,413
HE'LL NEVER
ADMIT IT,
BUT HE DOES.
748
00:42:49,413 --> 00:42:50,414
BRIAN...
YOU KNOW THAT.
749
00:42:50,414 --> 00:42:52,917
BRIAN DOESN'T
LOVE ANYONE.
750
00:42:52,917 --> 00:42:55,920
HE DOESN'T
BELIEVE IN
LOVE, REMEMBER?
751
00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:57,922
YOU'RE THE
EXCEPTION.
752
00:42:57,922 --> 00:43:00,424
THAT'S WHY
HE HURT YOU, SO
YOU'D GO BACK
WITH DAVID.
753
00:43:01,926 --> 00:43:03,928
HE KNEW IF
HE DIDN'T, YOU'D
BE WAITING FOR
HIM FOREVER.
754
00:43:04,428 --> 00:43:05,429
THAT'S BULLSHIT.
755
00:43:06,931 --> 00:43:08,933
THIS WAS HIS
WAY OF SAYING
GOODBYE.
756
00:43:11,435 --> 00:43:13,437
Ty:
WE'VE GOT SOME NEW
FRIENDS TO MEET TONIGHT,
757
00:43:13,938 --> 00:43:16,440
WHOSE DARK WORLD IS
ABOUT TO BE ILLUMINATED.
758
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:19,443
AND AFTERWARDS, I
INVITE YOU ALL TO
GATHER IN THE FOYER
759
00:43:19,443 --> 00:43:21,445
AND HAVE SOME
INCREDIBLE BROWNIES
760
00:43:21,445 --> 00:43:23,447
BAKED BY MY
INCREDIBLE WIFE.
761
00:43:24,949 --> 00:43:26,450
SO, LET'S GET STARTED.
762
00:43:30,454 --> 00:43:31,956
HI. I-I'M DON.
763
00:43:32,957 --> 00:43:34,959
Group:
HI, DON.
764
00:43:34,959 --> 00:43:37,962
UM, HOW I GOT HERE
IS A... A LONG STORY,
765
00:43:37,962 --> 00:43:40,464
BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER
BECAUSE I'M HERE,
766
00:43:42,466 --> 00:43:43,467
I'VE SEEN THE LIGHT.
767
00:43:43,968 --> 00:43:44,969
Ty:
GREAT!
768
00:43:44,969 --> 00:43:45,970
[ Applause ]
769
00:43:50,474 --> 00:43:52,476
HI, I'M EMMETT.
770
00:43:52,476 --> 00:43:54,478
Group:
HI, EMMETT.
771
00:43:54,478 --> 00:43:56,480
AND I, UH, I JUST
WANT TO SAY THAT...
772
00:43:58,983 --> 00:44:00,985
I WANT TO SEE
THE LIGHT, TOO.
773
00:44:00,985 --> 00:44:02,486
[ Applause ]
774
00:44:05,990 --> 00:44:37,021
[ ?????? ]
775
00:44:37,021 --> 00:44:40,024
WHAT'RE YOU DOING
HERE? YOU'RE
MARRIED NOW.
776
00:44:40,024 --> 00:44:42,026
I CAN
STILL LOOK.
777
00:44:42,026 --> 00:44:44,528
YEAH, WELL WHAT'S
THE GOOD OF LOOKING
IF YOU CAN'T TOUCH?
778
00:44:49,033 --> 00:44:51,035
WANT A BEER?
HOW MANY
HAVE YOU HAD?
779
00:44:51,035 --> 00:44:53,537
A FEW.
TOO MANY.
780
00:44:53,537 --> 00:44:55,539
KEEP TRACK
OF THE DOCTOR,
NOT ME.
781
00:44:58,042 --> 00:45:00,044
I NEVER THANKED
YOU FOR MY GIFT.
782
00:45:00,544 --> 00:45:01,545
YOUR GIFT?
783
00:45:01,545 --> 00:45:04,548
YOUR WARD TRACKED
ME DOWN, INSISTED
THAT I TAKE IT.
784
00:45:04,548 --> 00:45:06,550
YEAH, WELL I'LL
HAVE TO PUNISH
HIM SEVERELY.
785
00:45:07,551 --> 00:45:09,553
IT'S THE NEATEST
THING I EVER GOT.
786
00:45:09,553 --> 00:45:10,554
I THOUGHT SO.
787
00:45:15,559 --> 00:45:16,560
YOU WANT
TO DANCE?
788
00:45:24,568 --> 00:45:26,570
IT FELT WEIRD,
NOT TALKING TO YOU.
789
00:45:26,570 --> 00:45:27,571
WELL, I NEVER
THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
790
00:45:27,571 --> 00:45:29,073
[ Chuckling ]
791
00:45:29,073 --> 00:45:30,574
I HEARD YOU WERE
FREAKING OUT.
792
00:45:31,075 --> 00:45:32,076
YEAH, WHO
TOLD YOU THAT?
793
00:45:32,576 --> 00:45:34,078
EVERYBODY,
TED, LINDSAY...
794
00:45:34,078 --> 00:45:35,579
WELL, THEY'RE
PATHOLOGICAL LIARS.
795
00:45:35,579 --> 00:45:36,580
I WOULDN'T
TRUST THEM.
796
00:45:36,580 --> 00:45:38,082
YOU ARE
SO BUSTED.
797
00:45:38,082 --> 00:45:39,083
SO, HOW'S THE
HAPPY COUPLE?
798
00:45:41,085 --> 00:45:42,086
ARE YOU REALLY
INTERESTED?
799
00:45:42,086 --> 00:45:43,087
NOT IN THE
SLIGHTEST.
800
00:45:46,090 --> 00:45:47,091
IT'S GOING
TO BE FINE.
801
00:45:47,091 --> 00:45:48,592
EXCEPT HE
DOESN'T KNOW
THAT SUPERMAN DIES
802
00:45:49,093 --> 00:45:50,094
IN "THE CRISIS
ON INFINITE EARTH"
803
00:45:50,594 --> 00:45:52,096
OR THAT BATGIRL
IS NOW CRIPPLED
IN A WHEELCHAIR
804
00:45:52,596 --> 00:45:54,098
AFTER BEING
RAPED BY
THE JOKER,
805
00:45:54,098 --> 00:45:57,601
OR...
OR THAT FOR
THAT ONE SPECIAL
DAY IN 1970,
806
00:45:57,601 --> 00:46:00,104
CAPTAIN ASTRO
BECAME ASTRO WOMAN.
807
00:46:00,604 --> 00:46:02,606
EXACTLY.
YOU ARE
SO PATHETIC.
808
00:46:02,606 --> 00:46:03,607
Dancer:
HEY!
809
00:46:13,117 --> 00:46:14,118
GIVE HIM TIME.
810
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:17,121
HE'LL LEARN.
811
00:46:18,622 --> 00:46:32,136
[ ?????? ]
812
00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:37,641
[ Opening of door ]
813
00:46:40,144 --> 00:46:42,646
HEY.
HEY.
814
00:46:42,646 --> 00:46:45,149
I FEEL LIKE
I HAVEN'T SEEN
YOU ALL WEEKEND.
815
00:46:45,149 --> 00:46:46,150
YOU HAVEN'T.
816
00:46:46,650 --> 00:46:48,152
IN FACT, I
THINK I PROBABLY
SAW YOU MORE
817
00:46:48,152 --> 00:46:49,653
WHEN YOU DIDN'T
LIVE HERE.
818
00:46:52,156 --> 00:46:54,658
I NOTICE YOU'VE
BEEN DOING A LITTLE
REDECORATING.
819
00:46:54,658 --> 00:46:57,661
AH, I FELT THE PLACE
NEEDED A LITTLE WARMTH.
820
00:46:57,661 --> 00:47:00,164
A LITTLE CHARM,
A LITTLE WHIMSY.
821
00:47:02,166 --> 00:47:03,167
A LITTLE YOU.
822
00:47:09,673 --> 00:47:12,176
WELL, I SUPPOSE
WE COULD PUT SOME
OF THIS STUFF AWAY.
823
00:47:17,181 --> 00:47:20,184
YOU KNOW, YOUR
MOVING IN WAS
A BIG CHANGE
FOR ME, TOO.
824
00:47:20,184 --> 00:47:22,686
I SAW YOUR
STUFF AND
I SUDDENLY
REALIZED...
825
00:47:23,687 --> 00:47:27,191
THAT I WAS
"WE" AGAIN.
826
00:47:28,692 --> 00:47:32,196
THAT MY LIFE
WAS NOW OUR LIFE.
827
00:47:34,698 --> 00:47:36,200
IT KIND OF
FREAKED ME OUT.
828
00:47:39,203 --> 00:47:42,706
WELL, I'M GLAD TO KNOW
I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE
WHO'S SCARED SHITLESS.
829
00:47:44,708 --> 00:47:45,709
YOU KNOW,
I'VE, UH...
830
00:47:47,211 --> 00:47:49,213
BEEN READING
YOUR COMICS.
831
00:47:49,213 --> 00:47:51,215
OH, YEAH?
I HOPE YOU
DON'T MIND.
832
00:47:51,215 --> 00:47:53,717
I-I NEVER REALLY
GOT A CHANCE
TO DO THAT WHEN
I WAS A KID.
833
00:47:53,717 --> 00:47:56,220
MY PARENTS WERE
PRETTY STRICT.
834
00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:59,223
YOU PROBABLY HAD
TO READ TOLSTOY AND
STUFF LIKE THAT.
835
00:47:59,223 --> 00:48:01,225
[ Chuckling ]
ACTUALLY, THEY'RE
KIND OF FUN.
836
00:48:03,227 --> 00:48:04,228
DID YOU KNOW...
837
00:48:06,230 --> 00:48:09,233
THAT FOR ONE
SPECIAL DAY
IN 1970,
838
00:48:09,233 --> 00:48:13,237
CAPTAIN ASTRO
BECAME ASTRO WOMAN?
839
00:48:13,737 --> 00:48:15,739
?? THEY'RE GOING BANG
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM ??
840
00:48:16,240 --> 00:48:17,741
?? THEY'RE GOING BANG
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM ??
841
00:48:17,741 --> 00:48:19,743
?? THEY'RE GOING BANG
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM ??
842
00:48:19,743 --> 00:48:21,245
?? BANG, BANG, BANG
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM ??
843
00:48:21,745 --> 00:48:22,246
?? THEY'RE GOING BANG TO... ??
844
00:48:22,746 --> 00:48:23,747
[ Crashing of cymbals ]
845
00:48:23,747 --> 00:48:31,255
[ ?????? ]
846
00:48:31,255 --> 00:48:32,256
?? BANG TO THE BEAT
OF THE DRUM ??
847
00:48:32,756 --> 00:48:34,758
?? THEY'RE GOING BANG
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM ??
848
00:48:34,758 --> 00:48:36,260
?? BANG, BANG, BANG
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM ??
849
00:48:36,260 --> 00:48:39,263
?? THEY'RE GOING BANG
TO THE BEAT OF THE DRUM ??
850
00:48:39,263 --> 00:48:42,766
[ ?????? ]
851
00:48:42,766 --> 00:48:47,771
CLOSED CAPTIONED
BYCOMPREHENSIVE DISTRIBUTORS
852
00:49:42,826 --> 00:49:45,329
MOO!
59237
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.