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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,360 - Hi ! - Hi ! 2 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:21,280 - Sorry ! - It's nothing, it's fine. 3 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:24,440 Hi. I'm so sorry, I thought it was Pride Night tonight, 4 00:00:24,520 --> 00:00:29,120 but apparently that's next Friday. Tonight it's actually Country Night... 5 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:31,600 - Yeah. - No, all good. 6 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,480 You look great. I'm sure no one will notice. 7 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,960 I mean, I can change... I have clothes in a locker. 8 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,560 I didn't know what magical, under the stars things we were gonna... 9 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,520 - How late are we gonna be out ? - So you already want it to be over. 10 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,160 - No, I just need to tell my Dad... - That was a joke. 11 00:00:48,240 --> 00:00:50,200 Oh that's so cute. 12 00:00:51,680 --> 00:00:55,520 - Should we get the skates ? - Yeah... 13 00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:59,040 So how are you ? I wanna know everything. Tell me all of it. 14 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:02,680 - "I'm Bo, I'm cute." Go ! - Okay, um... 15 00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:06,320 I started mining for bitcoin today ! 16 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,560 - Sorry, that's so boring. - No, it's actually very Taurus of you. 17 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,520 Whoa. This is crazy. Did I tell you I'm a Taurus ? 18 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,920 No, she's just very intuitive... 19 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:22,160 I actually, I stalked you a little bit to find your work thing. 20 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,960 But, like, who doesn't wanna be stalked a little bit, right ? 21 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:28,520 I'm, like, yes please ! Fantasize about me in pervy ways ! 22 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:33,360 Well, actually my aunt had a stalker. I mean, he wasn't really, but... 23 00:01:33,440 --> 00:01:36,200 She thought he was because he kept showing up at her apartment complex. 24 00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:39,320 But he was just a delivery guy. Only she ended up pepper spraying him. 25 00:01:39,480 --> 00:01:43,240 And then he filed a restraining order against her, and... 26 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,920 And she had a nervous breakdown. 27 00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,000 PRIDE BEGAN WITH AN UPRISING 28 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,560 I'm size 10, please. 29 00:01:54,120 --> 00:01:57,040 - Are you okay ? - Yes. So... Bitcoin. 30 00:01:57,120 --> 00:02:00,120 Tell me about that. How do you do that ? 31 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,600 It's mostly just figuring out software and profitability 32 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:06,920 based on energy consumption versus the current bitcoin price. 33 00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:10,280 - Are you sure you're okay ? - Yeah. Keep telling me about bitcoin. 34 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:14,360 The cool thing is mining actually helps keep the network secure, 35 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:16,320 which is interesting, you know ? 36 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,200 Yes ! 37 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,840 - Is it ? - Yes ! 38 00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,640 Hey. I like Brokeback Mountain. 39 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,320 Yeah. I like Blake Shelton. 40 00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:29,200 That's fucking hilarious. I bet you actually don't like Blake Shelton. 41 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:33,240 - I love Blake Shelton. - No, you don't ! 42 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,800 - Are you sure you don't wanna stop ? - I just haven't skated in a while. 43 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:41,240 There are other things that I wanna do that might be fun. 44 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:43,920 - Rocky Horror... - I always wanted to see that. 45 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,760 Oh you're virgin ! I can help you figure out what to wear 46 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:50,160 cuz if you wear the wrong thing you get sacrificed with the other virgins 47 00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:54,040 and you have to moan your mom's name like she's being fucked. 48 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,040 - Oh. - But that's like fun, no. 49 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,560 - Are you guys brothers ? - No. 50 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:03,280 Do we look like we are brothers ? What a day ! 51 00:03:03,360 --> 00:03:06,240 Oh so you didn't touch penises ? 52 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,400 Oh my God ! 53 00:03:13,920 --> 00:03:17,440 - Oh my God ! Are you okay ? - Fuck ! 54 00:03:19,360 --> 00:03:21,000 Fuck ! 55 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,920 12 hours earlier 56 00:03:56,560 --> 00:04:00,800 The assignment was to take an everyday object and look at it in a new way. 57 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:02,920 So... That's what I did. 58 00:04:04,360 --> 00:04:07,320 You've been cutting too many classes for only ten days into the new term, 59 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:09,400 and you're failing photography. 60 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,320 Which feels a little like Picasso failing art. 61 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,680 - Thank you. - Why is Picasso failing art ? 62 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,880 Is there like a slip you sign or - ? 63 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:19,600 At my high school, there was a track and field coach 64 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:23,120 who everybody hated because he called kids 65 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:25,640 weaklings, like straight up. 66 00:04:25,800 --> 00:04:29,480 One time he tripped a kid on purpose using a pole vault pole - 67 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:31,480 like he was evil. 68 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:37,080 My point is, people will always try to crush dreams, so what do you do ? 69 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,880 Take pictures of fruit. 70 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:46,400 I get you want to blow things up. But like, how big ? 71 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,600 Just cuz you don't wanna end up blowing yourself up in the process. 72 00:04:59,920 --> 00:05:03,040 You had to choose the one fruit that's hairy ? 73 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,920 - What ? - Nothing. I like you. 74 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,320 You're my sister from another mister. 75 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,680 - Why ? - You just are. 76 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,640 J: x files start time ? 77 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:17,000 - Are you going ? - I don't know. Are you ? 78 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:21,960 No, I'm going on a date with Cutie McCutie ! 79 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,840 Oh, cute ! 80 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:27,960 And if you dial back his nerdcon a bit, like how many stories are there of 81 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,600 straight people marrying their high school sweethearts ? 82 00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:35,600 It's the queers' turn now, baby. Give it to us ! 83 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,760 Oh, my God. Can I just say 84 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:40,000 it's so great that you're not putting any pressure on this ? 85 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,920 - Thank you. - So proud. 86 00:05:42,080 --> 00:05:44,960 Whatever. But you are going to X-Files, right ? 87 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,080 No, no, stop. Stop. You're going. 88 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:54,240 - Does Greta even want me there ? - Yes ! 89 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:59,960 - What was the motel drama ? - She just freaked out a little bit. 90 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:03,280 Something else. I know you, sis. 91 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:05,960 I don't really know where we stand or 92 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,280 what she wants. Or... 93 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,280 I don't know what I want. 94 00:06:11,360 --> 00:06:13,720 Whatever. What do you think ? 95 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:16,680 I think lesbians are exhausting. 96 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:19,360 I'm not a lesbian. 97 00:06:19,440 --> 00:06:23,280 You have that over-talk-y smother-y lesbian thing down. 98 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:28,880 If that's your definition, you're the biggest lesbian in Anaheim. 99 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,880 You cunt ! 100 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:48,360 I can't with my parents right now. 101 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,240 Could you come in ? 102 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:57,080 Oh, my God. Who is that ? 103 00:06:57,160 --> 00:07:00,000 My dad's child bride. 104 00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:01,920 I literally thought she went to school with us. 105 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:03,880 No, that is his girlfriend. 106 00:07:05,280 --> 00:07:07,160 Wait, so your mom moved out ? 107 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,680 No, she's not. Come. Come see this. 108 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,480 What ?! 109 00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,080 What is this ? 110 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,720 My mom has an "inner child" named "Ginnie." 111 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:27,240 And she decided that that "inner child" needs a place to play. So. 112 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:29,280 Wait, so she's crazy ? 113 00:07:29,360 --> 00:07:32,040 More just really narcissistic. 114 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:35,120 Actually I don't have... Yeah. Maybe she's crazy. 115 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,600 "We don't have a black friend." 116 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:42,440 OK. This is, like, kind of fun. In a weird, creepy kind of way. 117 00:07:42,520 --> 00:07:44,880 Divorce makes you do weird things. 118 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,720 One of my aunts went full-on born again 119 00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:51,760 and then became a quadruple black belt, but, like, not in an empowering way... 120 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:55,080 I have to leave for me but I don't want to leave for you. 121 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,440 - Okay. Go. - You sure? 122 00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:59,000 Yes, don't be, like... Do not worry about me, seriously. 123 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,640 She has fucked me up so much already, I am beyond fuckupable. 124 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:06,840 She once told me Santa Claus wasn't real just so I be mad at my Dad. 125 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,000 Yes. And then I have to watch her be this 5-year-old, 126 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:14,360 like, obsessively making this finger paintings of rainbow hearts... 127 00:08:14,440 --> 00:08:16,760 'cause she can't find love... And I... 128 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:20,840 But then I'm like, what would I do if I heard my husband 129 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:24,720 banging some barely legal girl in my own home ? 130 00:08:37,960 --> 00:08:39,720 Hi ! 131 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,600 I'm Chester. It's really... It's so nice to meet you. 132 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:01,640 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry ! I'm canceling my date ! 133 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:03,280 - No, don't do that. - Yes ! 134 00:09:03,360 --> 00:09:05,480 She's probably happy that she overheard. 135 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:09,160 Now she's gonna ignore me and feel it's justified. It's fine. 136 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:13,280 Please go and be happy with your perfect boyfriend on your perfect date. 137 00:09:13,360 --> 00:09:15,280 Please. I just... 138 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,800 I need you to go, actually. So I know that love exists. 139 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,560 - I love you. So that love exists. - Thank you. 140 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:27,960 Go to X-Files ! 141 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,120 I miss you. 142 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,960 So glad that you came. 143 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:10,080 - She's just coming over. - Oh yeah... 144 00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,320 I just... The apartment looks so nice. 145 00:10:12,400 --> 00:10:14,320 My sister will be back any day. 146 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:17,960 I thought I'd rather gouge my eyes out than live two doors down from her... 147 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:19,840 But, well - family, right ? 148 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,160 - Hi. - Oh hey. 149 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,680 - ... such a fucking power move. - But I mean it was just like- 150 00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:34,120 No you were a ho in the best sense of the word - 151 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:36,800 I learned from you. That was, like, a life lesson moment. 152 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:38,040 Like, Parents of the World, 153 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:40,400 if you try to control us, this is what we will do to you. 154 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:44,840 Hi. I'm Ana, welcome to the X-Files experience. 155 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,120 So is this everyone who's coming ? I'm gonna start the show now. 156 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:51,000 - So Chester's not coming ? - Oh. I think he's hanging out with Bo. 157 00:10:51,160 --> 00:10:53,040 Cool. Great. 158 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:56,960 - So have they been hanging out a lot ? - No, I think this is the first time... 159 00:10:57,040 --> 00:11:00,000 - But yeah. You okay ? - Yeah totally. 160 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:03,120 It's weird cuz he's never even mentioned the voicemail, but... 161 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,320 For real ? A cumshot on a kiwi ? 162 00:11:06,400 --> 00:11:09,120 No, it was a middle schooler fucking a kiwi, right ? 163 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,240 - No, it was not. - Let me see. 164 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:13,800 This photo is really amazing. 165 00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:17,440 - Look. It's starting now. - I'm so excited. 166 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,280 This show taught the world to pay attention to how the government lies. 167 00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,880 You are invited back. 168 00:11:21,960 --> 00:11:24,160 Based on today, Naomi is the best liar in the world 169 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:26,240 and I say that with full respect. 170 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:29,520 Watch this. Two truths and a lie, bitch. Go. 171 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:33,440 Okay. Everyone in my family has a middle name that starts with N, 172 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,920 once I fractured my nose from sneezing too hard, 173 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,600 and I absorbed a triplet in the womb. 174 00:11:38,680 --> 00:11:40,760 - Definitely three. - You can't fracture your nose. 175 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:42,520 It was two. 176 00:11:42,600 --> 00:11:44,920 - Hey. - What's up ? 177 00:11:45,080 --> 00:11:46,480 Are you okay ? 178 00:11:46,640 --> 00:11:49,080 Yeah. It's just, like, my mom was... 179 00:11:49,160 --> 00:11:50,280 And keep it down ! 180 00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,200 I will when your wife stops stealing my Amazon packages ! 181 00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,320 I should've absorbed Nathan. 182 00:11:55,400 --> 00:11:58,120 I'm telling you, if you talk during it, you will miss crucial plot points ! 183 00:12:09,840 --> 00:12:11,040 Not into this show ? 184 00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:15,800 I'll get into it when the aliens start torturing the people. 185 00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:20,720 And - um, how was your break ? 186 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:24,560 Great ! I mean, I don't know. I guess a little weird ? 187 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:29,240 My parents don't um, know. 188 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,120 Yeah. I don't know. 189 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:35,000 We live in this world where it's all like, 190 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:39,040 oh you need to tell everything to everyone all the time. 191 00:12:39,200 --> 00:12:40,560 And maybe that's just - 192 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:45,200 I don't know. Not actually always the best thing ? 193 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:51,680 - Are you okay ? - Yeah. 194 00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,160 I told you it's good ! 195 00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,000 Everybody come buy your SENSE tickets ! 196 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,080 - Riley ! Do you want get tickets ? - I guess. 197 00:13:40,920 --> 00:13:44,000 Both of you close your eyes and hold out your hands. 198 00:13:44,080 --> 00:13:45,880 - What ? - Now ! Do it ! 199 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:50,080 Open up ! 200 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,480 - Oh my God ! - It's a little helix ! 201 00:13:56,560 --> 00:13:58,840 Because D-N-A ! 202 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,040 Oh, my God ! 203 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:06,040 I seriously love you guys so much, 204 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:09,040 you are my bitches, you are my hoes, you are my sluts. 205 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,920 I fucking love you for life. 206 00:14:12,160 --> 00:14:14,920 I love this more than life itself. 207 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,160 - Is someone sitting here ? - Hi ! No ! 208 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:25,720 Okay. Cool. I wanted - 209 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,280 - I wanted to - - Hi ! 210 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,120 Hi ! Ça va ? 211 00:14:38,680 --> 00:14:40,840 Bonjour ! Hello everybody ! 212 00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:44,400 Did you know it's because he has bad sinuses that he breathes so loudly ? 213 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:47,720 He told me one time during French cuz I was staring, 214 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:50,120 and he thought I was staring cuz he was breathing so loud. 215 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,640 Are you sure you're okay with this ? 216 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:55,480 - 'Cuz I know you wanted to fuck him. - No ! It's seriously fine. 217 00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,240 Okay. 218 00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,640 But the other thing I was thinking while I was staring 219 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:03,360 is how do you tell a guy their cologne smells bad, 220 00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,880 which you have to do, because otherwise - 221 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,040 I'm, like, open to, like, working it out because... 222 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,320 That's just what you have to do in a relationship. 223 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,760 We literally need them in an hour. 224 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,640 - What for ? - For a viewing party. Dad knows. 225 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,040 Oh. Okay. 226 00:15:19,120 --> 00:15:21,800 Apparently he has his method of parenting and I have mine. 227 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:25,640 So from now on you must both ask my permission also. 228 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:30,480 Because he was not on that FaceTime call when you viciously attacked me. 229 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:42,520 Kids, Pastor Jeb stopped by to pick up an extra paper shredder I have ! 230 00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:45,720 Hi Nathan, hi Naomi. Hi, kids. 231 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:49,400 - Stay for a glass of iced tea ! - Great. 232 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:52,320 - Nathan why don't you join us ? - I really... 233 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,800 Maravillosa ! Look, Gloria has already set it up. She's a genius. 234 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,000 I'll pray for you. 235 00:15:57,160 --> 00:16:00,760 I just think New Year's is a great time 236 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:05,280 to have a conversation about resetting, about building new foundations - 237 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,840 Is this about the kissing video or me being bi ? 238 00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:12,600 So it's like - skiing. 239 00:16:13,600 --> 00:16:15,720 Sometimes you put on your skis and 240 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:19,000 you push yourself down a mountain, and suddenly 241 00:16:19,080 --> 00:16:22,440 you're thinking - this mountain is a lot steeper than I thought, 242 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,720 and it's going too fast, and 243 00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:30,000 it seemed like it was going to be fun, but I'm not enjoying this anymore. 244 00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:34,120 And I want to stop, but it feels like I can't. 245 00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:38,040 Do you ever get that feeling, Nathan ? 246 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:39,160 Not really no. 247 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,880 - Southern California ! - Yeah ! 248 00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:50,000 But I think your parents feel you're experiencing pressures, 249 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,480 and that's resulting in some choices - 250 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,440 - So we are talking about me being bi. - No. 251 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:58,480 I hate how parents lie, like they think we can't tell. 252 00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:01,800 ...and we're really coming at this from a place of love, you know ? 253 00:17:01,880 --> 00:17:04,520 Cool. Well I love love. 254 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:06,920 Actually I think I might be falling in love. 255 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,880 That's fricking great news ! 256 00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:13,200 Awesome ! I was really worried that you might be upset I had a boyfriend. 257 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,480 You do not. 258 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,000 Who's he dating ? 259 00:17:16,080 --> 00:17:21,240 I think he's lying just to fuck with them. Which is a ballsy move. 260 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,000 Though she'll never believe him 261 00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:26,880 and she'll pick him apart and he'll start crying and- 262 00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,720 - Oh shit. - What ? 263 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:32,840 Fuck. He better buy me a really expensive gift card for this. 264 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,920 I'm not saying you don't have a b-friend. 265 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:41,400 I'm just saying sometimes you do exaggerate for dramatic effect. 266 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:45,400 I'm so glad you finally told them. Do they know who he is ? 267 00:17:45,480 --> 00:17:46,480 This bitch ! 268 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:47,680 It was a fucking power move. 269 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,440 And you know she was just dying to know who he was, 270 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,640 but wouldn't ask in front of Pastor Jeb. 271 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,800 You were a ho in the best sense of the word. 272 00:17:54,880 --> 00:17:57,840 I learned from you. That was like, a life lesson moment. 273 00:17:57,920 --> 00:17:59,280 Like, Parents of the World, 274 00:17:59,360 --> 00:18:02,920 if you try to control us, this is what we will do to you. 275 00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:07,280 Hi everyone ! I'm Ana, welcome to the X-Files experience. 276 00:18:07,360 --> 00:18:09,040 Thank you so much for having us. 277 00:18:09,120 --> 00:18:10,280 Oh, my God. 278 00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:13,800 Is this everyone who's coming ? I'm gonna start the show now. 279 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,520 And how was your break ? 280 00:18:17,800 --> 00:18:19,360 Great ! 281 00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:21,280 Yeah, I mean... 282 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,600 I don't know, I guess a little weird. 283 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:29,560 My parents don't, um, know. 284 00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:34,520 I don't know, we live in this world where it's all like 285 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:40,000 you need to tell everything to everyone all the time and maybe that's just - 286 00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:43,440 I don't know. Not actually always the best thing ? 287 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:47,880 Cooper hey do you want to hang out some time ? 288 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,960 I just love it when it goes boom ! 289 00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,080 I told you it's good, right ? 290 00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,480 - Are you okay ? - Yeah. 291 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:03,920 Isn't he on a date ? 292 00:19:05,560 --> 00:19:07,800 - Riley, do you wanna get... - Yes. 293 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:11,840 Will you just pin her down and wrap your legs around her face ? 294 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:13,760 What ? 295 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,720 It's just like - why is everything always so sexual ? 296 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,440 - Where are you going with Bo ? - Roller skating. 297 00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:24,680 Which I'm trash at, but I always believe... 298 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:28,800 Wait, you think it's a bad choice ? 299 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,400 Hold up. Are you nervous ? 300 00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:34,760 Fuck you, yes ! Yes, I'm nervous ! 301 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,760 He's not some older guy who's never gonna be into me 302 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,600 or some suckmyfistingdick Grindr guy - sorry - 303 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:46,480 he's actual boyfriend material. 304 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,480 Also over the break I was like, 305 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:52,440 if I turn on the TV and Love Actually is on it means I'm marrying Bo. 306 00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:55,920 - It's always on. - What can I say ? It was on. 307 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,400 I asked the universe, the universe answered. 308 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:02,400 And she was like, no more unrequited love for you, God bless. 309 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:04,240 Fuck ! 310 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:06,880 Fuck ! 311 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,520 Finish up your nachos 312 00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,000 because it's almost time for cake ! 313 00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:17,400 He's not talking. You have a very annoying voice. 314 00:20:18,520 --> 00:20:20,040 - Hi ! - Hi ! 315 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,080 - Are you okay ? - Yes. 316 00:20:22,720 --> 00:20:25,360 - I got us some food. - That is so sweet ! 317 00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,600 So while I was in the bathroom cleaning up vomit, 318 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:32,520 I was thinking that you being a Taurus is actually gods being like, 319 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,040 hey, bitch, pay attention to this and make it work. 320 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,720 I'm a Scorpio and... 321 00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:38,840 We do not take our clothes off in public ! 322 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:42,080 Ms. Google was saying like, Scorpio and Taurus share 323 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,200 a personal belief system that goes deeper than the bottom of the ocean. 324 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:50,080 She also said, for physical pleasure expect crackling chemistry, but 325 00:20:50,240 --> 00:20:51,840 maybe I won't bring it up just yet. 326 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,800 Yeah, I don't know. The whole thought of us meeting on a roof, like. 327 00:20:55,960 --> 00:21:00,120 I feel like the universe is telling me to take this seriously and pursue it. 328 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:02,800 End-all, be-all, till it all falls apart. 329 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:08,360 Oh, my God. 330 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,800 I'm so sorry. 331 00:21:12,080 --> 00:21:13,160 Please don't pull ! 332 00:21:13,240 --> 00:21:15,640 My friend wants to know, are you Jewish ? 333 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:18,480 Your teeth are very yellow ! 334 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,040 What did I have in this hat ? 335 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:26,360 - Are you okay ? - Sorry. 336 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:28,320 No, no. That's... 337 00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:35,120 - My mom's calling. - Yeah, yeah. 338 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,720 Hi, Mom. 339 00:21:41,360 --> 00:21:42,720 Do I have to ? 340 00:21:44,240 --> 00:21:45,640 Okay. 341 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,840 I'm so sorry, but... 342 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:54,440 My mom needs me to come home early cuz she has this emergency work 343 00:21:54,600 --> 00:21:57,040 Powerpoint presentation. 344 00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:01,440 And she needs my help with it cuz she can't... do... 345 00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:06,960 Techonology. So... Yeah. 346 00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:17,440 Okay. 347 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,040 - Hello. - It was shit and I hate life. 348 00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:44,440 I'm sorry. 349 00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:48,320 Come up here, eat some cupcakes. 350 00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:51,200 Watch people get abducted by aliens. 351 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,200 And know that everyboyd up here really loves you. 352 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,040 Okay. 353 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,640 It sucked, don't ask. 354 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,440 I forgive you for being so late. 355 00:23:06,520 --> 00:23:08,520 - Oh my gosh. - There ! 356 00:23:09,120 --> 00:23:12,720 - Do you want me to... - No, that's okay. 357 00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:14,560 There you go ! 358 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,320 This is your Federal Bureau of Impressive burger. 359 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,240 Thank you ! 360 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:26,080 This is... ginger alien drink. 361 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,000 I don't know. But I'm going to find out. 362 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:42,360 Sorry. 363 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:45,880 Are you ? 364 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:52,720 I really wanted not to have left that voicemail. 365 00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,200 As soon as I left it I was like, fuck. 366 00:23:55,360 --> 00:23:58,920 Yeah, it's all good. 367 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:06,200 You know it's never gonna be like that for us, right ? 368 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:10,360 Yeah no, I know. I was just on drugs that day. 369 00:24:10,440 --> 00:24:13,480 - No you weren't. - No I wasn't. 370 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:19,880 But more than anything I really just want it to, like, 371 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,880 not be weird. 372 00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:24,800 I don't want it to be weird either. 373 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:27,880 You're sweet and funny and I like you. 374 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:33,800 Like seriously who wouldn't wanna fuck their clone if their clone was you ? 375 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,640 I think the whole premise is that there is a truth that exists, 376 00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:38,640 but I don't know - does it ? 377 00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:44,480 Okay this might be a weird question. 378 00:24:44,560 --> 00:24:46,440 But hopefully not 'cause we just talked about everything 379 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:51,320 and I'm, like, super clear about us and there not being an us. 380 00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,520 But basically... 381 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:55,600 I had this whole thing with my mom and she was freaking out 382 00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,120 so I decided to mess with her and told her I have a boyfriend. 383 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:00,280 Wait, who's your boyfriend ? 384 00:25:00,360 --> 00:25:02,400 I don't have one. I just told her that to fuck with her. 385 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,880 - Impressive. - Thanks. 386 00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,080 So basically the question is... 387 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:14,320 Would you ever, like - I don't know - 388 00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:18,560 hug me or something in front of my mom ? So she doesn't think I'm lying ? 389 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:24,400 You want me as your friend to pretend to be your boyfriend ? 390 00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:25,960 Sort of ? 391 00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,160 Won't that be confusing for you ? 392 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:31,680 No, definitely not. 393 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,720 So I would be helping out a friend 394 00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:41,440 but also messing with a homophobic Evangelical white woman ? 395 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,360 - Bye ! - Bye ! 396 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,760 - Does she see me ? - Yep. 397 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:52,200 - Is her head exploding ? - Yep. 398 00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,280 Thank you. You're seriously such a good friend. 399 00:25:55,320 --> 00:25:57,600 How bad do you wanna mess with her ? 400 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,920 - Really bad. - Are you sure ? 32183

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