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1
00:00:02,716 --> 00:00:04,259
- And don't pack too tight.
2
00:00:04,593 --> 00:00:05,886
The side pockets of the suitcase
3
00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:08,472
are very good for small objects:
4
00:00:08,805 --> 00:00:11,475
Earrings, chewing
gum, shoe polish,
5
00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:15,270
needle and thread, charm
bracelets, things like that.
6
00:00:15,604 --> 00:00:18,315
The top pocket is very
good for hair rollers.
7
00:00:18,649 --> 00:00:22,027
Since they are plastic, they
do not pull the lid down.
8
00:00:22,361 --> 00:00:25,280
Also, so your shampoo and
cosmetics don't spill,
9
00:00:25,614 --> 00:00:27,991
put all your gooey
things in a plastic bag.
10
00:00:28,325 --> 00:00:29,910
I call it my Icky Bag.
11
00:00:31,828 --> 00:00:33,997
Today's wonderful miracle
permanent-press fabrics
12
00:00:34,331 --> 00:00:36,416
are a big help for the
young girl on the move.
13
00:00:36,750 --> 00:00:38,877
But for that very
special wool jacket,
14
00:00:39,211 --> 00:00:40,587
there's still good
old tissue paper
15
00:00:40,921 --> 00:00:43,590
to help keep out nasty creases.
16
00:00:43,924 --> 00:00:45,300
You won't need tissue
for all garments,
17
00:00:45,634 --> 00:00:46,760
but you will need common sense
18
00:00:47,094 --> 00:00:49,888
to keep the case
from looking sloppy.
19
00:00:50,222 --> 00:00:52,266
And one final tip, girls.
20
00:00:52,599 --> 00:00:55,519
Pack your naughtiest
nightie right on top,
21
00:00:55,852 --> 00:00:57,646
in case you need it in a hurry.
22
00:00:57,980 --> 00:00:59,189
- Packing a suitcase?
23
00:00:59,523 --> 00:01:01,400
What the hell kind
of talent is that?
24
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:02,609
I can pack a suitcase.
25
00:01:02,943 --> 00:01:03,860
- It's the only
thing she could do
26
00:01:04,194 --> 00:01:05,696
without falling off the stage.
27
00:01:06,029 --> 00:01:09,366
- She is cute. I kind of
liked the nightie joke.
28
00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:11,743
- That'sjust the kind of
stuff they hate at the finals.
29
00:01:12,077 --> 00:01:13,704
They're not looking for sex.
30
00:01:14,037 --> 00:01:16,164
- Everybody's looking for sex.
31
00:01:17,124 --> 00:01:18,166
- Thank you.
32
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,751
(audience applauding)
33
00:01:20,085 --> 00:01:21,086
- And now the
winner to represent
34
00:01:21,420 --> 00:01:23,922
the Imperial County
in the State Finals,
35
00:01:24,256 --> 00:01:26,550
the winner from El
Centro: Connie Thompson.
36
00:01:26,883 --> 00:01:31,680
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
37
00:01:40,981 --> 00:01:41,815
- Thank you.
38
00:01:43,150 --> 00:01:46,570
J'An all-American girl you see
39
00:01:46,903 --> 00:01:51,658
J' She's all an American
girl should be
40
00:01:55,996 --> 00:01:58,373
J' She wears a crown
with love and respect
41
00:01:58,707 --> 00:02:02,127
J' She's a young American girl
42
00:02:05,547 --> 00:02:07,883
- Smile.
J' Smile
43
00:02:08,216 --> 00:02:12,763
J' Though your heart is aching
44
00:02:13,096 --> 00:02:17,684
J' Smile, even though
it's breaking
45
00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:22,773
J' When there are
clouds in the sky
46
00:02:25,150 --> 00:02:28,278
J' You'll get by
47
00:02:28,612 --> 00:02:33,408
J' If you smile through
your fear and sorrow
48
00:02:35,369 --> 00:02:40,248
J' Smile and maybe tomorrow
49
00:02:41,958 --> 00:02:46,254
J' You'll see the sun come
shining through for you
50
00:02:51,927 --> 00:02:56,807
J' Smile though your
heart is aching
51
00:02:58,975 --> 00:03:03,730
J' Smile even though
it's breaking
52
00:03:05,065 --> 00:03:08,819
J' When there are
clouds in the sky
53
00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:15,826
J' You get by if you smile
54
00:03:16,159 --> 00:03:20,914
J' Through your fear and sorrow
55
00:03:21,915 --> 00:03:25,919
J' Smile and maybe tomorrow
56
00:03:27,337 --> 00:03:32,217
J' You'll see the sun
come shining through
57
00:03:34,511 --> 00:03:38,390
J' For you
58
00:03:38,724 --> 00:03:43,520
J' Light up your
face with gladness
59
00:03:44,688 --> 00:03:49,568
J' Hide every trace of sadness
60
00:03:50,861 --> 00:03:54,906
J' Although a tear
may be ever so near
61
00:04:00,829 --> 00:04:05,709
J' That's the time you
must keep on trying
62
00:04:07,878 --> 00:04:12,758
J' Smile, what's
the use of crying
63
00:04:13,967 --> 00:04:18,847
J' You'll find that life
is still worthwhile
64
00:04:22,309 --> 00:04:25,228
J' If you just smile
65
00:04:26,897 --> 00:04:29,232
(bright music)
66
00:04:47,459 --> 00:04:52,339
J' That's the time you
must keep on trying
67
00:04:55,717 --> 00:05:00,555
J' Smile, what's
the use of crying
68
00:05:01,890 --> 00:05:06,603
J' You'll find that life
is still worthwhile
69
00:05:09,564 --> 00:05:12,442
J' If you just smile
70
00:05:17,239 --> 00:05:21,034
- Girls! Now, there are
only two things to remember.
71
00:05:21,368 --> 00:05:24,246
Just be yourselves,
and keep smiling!
72
00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:33,797
- Hello, girls.
73
00:05:34,130 --> 00:05:36,007
My name is Mr. Wilson Shears
and I am the president
74
00:05:36,341 --> 00:05:39,177
of this year's Young
American Miss Pageant.
75
00:05:39,511 --> 00:05:41,680
I know you all must
be kind of pooped,
76
00:05:42,013 --> 00:05:43,515
but I do have a couple
of announcements.
77
00:05:43,849 --> 00:05:46,059
First, as regards your luggage.
78
00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:50,647
Your luggage will be
arriving in the lobby.
79
00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:57,320
Some of your luggage
will be arriving.
80
00:05:57,654 --> 00:05:59,072
Seems there's been a
mix-up at the airport.
81
00:05:59,406 --> 00:06:01,116
- Girls, keep smiling.
82
00:06:02,534 --> 00:06:03,743
We'll have all of your luggage
83
00:06:04,077 --> 00:06:05,161
delivered to your
host parent's home.
84
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:06,580
- Yes, we will.
85
00:06:06,913 --> 00:06:09,708
Now, I have one
further announcement
86
00:06:10,041 --> 00:06:12,961
from the Veterans War
Memorial Auditorium
87
00:06:13,295 --> 00:06:15,672
Maintenance Director
and his staff.
88
00:06:16,006 --> 00:06:17,924
- That's me and you, Logan.
89
00:06:18,258 --> 00:06:19,885
- "It is requested that
the girls do not dispose
90
00:06:20,218 --> 00:06:23,972
of their sanitary
napkins in the commodes.
91
00:06:24,306 --> 00:06:27,309
"Since there are so
many girls in the hall
92
00:06:27,642 --> 00:06:31,938
"and since a sanitary napkin
is thick and difficult."
93
00:06:33,148 --> 00:06:34,941
Well, just don't do it.
94
00:06:37,152 --> 00:06:38,653
Now, I'd like to
turn things over
95
00:06:38,987 --> 00:06:42,782
to someone I'm sure you all
know, Miss Brenda DiCarlo,
96
00:06:43,116 --> 00:06:45,201
who is the supervisor
of this year's pageant
97
00:06:45,535 --> 00:06:48,788
and a former Young
American Miss, Brenda.
98
00:06:50,123 --> 00:06:53,752
- His breathing rate
is approximately-
99
00:06:54,085 --> 00:06:57,213
- Now, if you'll just follow
me and the Mother Hens.
100
00:06:57,547 --> 00:06:58,465
- Do you think the announcement
101
00:06:58,798 --> 00:07:01,635
about the toilets
will help, Mr. Nakas?
102
00:07:03,345 --> 00:07:04,220
- I'm so sorry I
forgot to tell you
103
00:07:04,554 --> 00:07:06,014
about Mr. French's phone call.
104
00:07:06,348 --> 00:07:07,015
- That's all right, dear.
105
00:07:07,349 --> 00:07:08,016
- This is all so new to me.
106
00:07:08,350 --> 00:07:09,059
- Just being out of
the house is new to me.
107
00:07:09,392 --> 00:07:10,310
- Here.
108
00:07:10,644 --> 00:07:13,063
Brenda, you're so
organized and everything.
109
00:07:13,396 --> 00:07:14,064
How do you do it?
110
00:07:14,397 --> 00:07:15,357
- I don't know.
111
00:07:15,690 --> 00:07:16,524
I get tired but I
just keep going.
112
00:07:16,858 --> 00:07:17,859
Somebody has to do the job.
113
00:07:18,193 --> 00:07:20,820
Girls, you're now
in No Man's Land.
114
00:07:22,364 --> 00:07:25,075
It's called that for obvious
reasons. Everyone come in.
115
00:07:25,408 --> 00:07:27,035
You're gonna be spending
a lot of time in here
116
00:07:27,369 --> 00:07:30,038
so get familiar with
it and find your coop.
117
00:07:30,372 --> 00:07:32,499
Now, your coop is run
by your Mother Hen.
118
00:07:32,832 --> 00:07:33,750
You'll see three girls.
119
00:07:34,084 --> 00:07:36,086
Janet, would you turn
the board around?
120
00:07:36,419 --> 00:07:38,838
On the board you're going
to see three color groups.
121
00:07:39,172 --> 00:07:41,341
Simi Valley. I'm Maria Gonzales.
122
00:07:41,675 --> 00:07:43,051
I forget your name, but I
see your name in the paper-
123
00:07:43,385 --> 00:07:44,678
Karen.
124
00:07:45,011 --> 00:07:45,971
Well, we're roommates.
125
00:07:46,304 --> 00:07:47,639
So I come up and
say hello to you.
126
00:07:47,973 --> 00:07:48,932
- Nice to meet you.
127
00:07:49,265 --> 00:07:50,850
- I have to go sing.
I see you later.
128
00:07:51,184 --> 00:07:52,769
Ancl I want to see
all the other girls
129
00:07:53,103 --> 00:07:54,854
finding their Mother Hens.
130
00:07:55,188 --> 00:07:58,108
Okay, blues. Whoever's a blue.
131
00:07:58,441 --> 00:08:00,110
All right. You're
blue? Yes, right.
132
00:08:00,443 --> 00:08:01,069
Of course, I remember you.
133
00:08:01,403 --> 00:08:03,446
All right, every blue here.
134
00:08:03,780 --> 00:08:05,782
We're gonna learn
the opening song,
135
00:08:06,116 --> 00:08:07,158
which is here on the board.
136
00:08:07,492 --> 00:08:09,160
And nobody's being
judged here, okay?
137
00:08:09,494 --> 00:08:13,373
J' Ready to start out,
singing our hearts out
138
00:08:13,707 --> 00:08:14,749
Robin Gibson, right?
139
00:08:15,083 --> 00:08:16,543
Hi, I'm Doria. We're roommates.
140
00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:19,045
J' Built by youth
you'll see today
141
00:08:19,379 --> 00:08:21,256
- I'm supposed to learn
this song with them.
142
00:08:21,589 --> 00:08:24,259
- Sure, I'll see
you later, okay?
143
00:08:25,593 --> 00:08:26,678
Good, that's not bad at all.
144
00:08:27,012 --> 00:08:27,721
Let's start just
from there again.
145
00:08:28,054 --> 00:08:30,140
Let's take it from the top.
146
00:08:36,229 --> 00:08:37,939
If you love the open
road as much as I do,
147
00:08:38,273 --> 00:08:40,150
Tone, my guy right
here, that's the one.
148
00:08:40,483 --> 00:08:42,777
If you're worried about
credit pal, forget it.
149
00:08:43,111 --> 00:08:44,154
We don't worry about
it, why should you?
150
00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:46,031
Hey, Brenda! How are you?
151
00:08:46,364 --> 00:08:47,824
Be with you in two
shakes of a lamb's tail.
152
00:08:48,158 --> 00:08:49,159
Go in and park your carcass.
153
00:08:49,492 --> 00:08:52,162
Tony, this beauty here holds
5O gallons of gasoline.
154
00:08:52,495 --> 00:08:54,289
Now what does Uncle
Sam say to us?
155
00:08:54,622 --> 00:08:56,082
He says, "Don't store gasoline."
156
00:08:56,416 --> 00:08:58,168
We all agree with
that, don't we?
157
00:08:58,501 --> 00:09:00,670
But with all these
crazy Arabs around,
158
00:09:01,004 --> 00:09:02,172
who knows what
they're gonna do next?
159
00:09:02,505 --> 00:09:03,590
You have to admit it's
a safe feeling knowing
160
00:09:03,923 --> 00:09:06,760
you're sleeping on top
of 5O gallons of gas.
161
00:09:07,093 --> 00:09:09,345
Well, we'll have
to think that over.
162
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,890
Thinking, that's what
this game is all about.
163
00:09:12,223 --> 00:09:13,516
You must think it over, Tony.
164
00:09:13,850 --> 00:09:15,351
I'm gonna give you
one of my cards.
165
00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:16,978
That's my home phone
number on there.
166
00:09:17,312 --> 00:09:19,314
Call me 365 days a year.
167
00:09:19,647 --> 00:09:24,277
All of Big Bob Freelander's
customers are also his friends.
168
00:09:25,612 --> 00:09:27,072
How about that? A
balloon for Mom.
169
00:09:27,405 --> 00:09:28,656
You think it over,
170
00:09:28,990 --> 00:09:31,409
and I'd say you got an
early October here, right?
171
00:09:31,743 --> 00:09:33,995
Okay, the three of
you think it over.
172
00:09:34,329 --> 00:09:35,288
Leonard, line 2.
173
00:09:37,290 --> 00:09:38,083
- Sorry to keep you
waiting, Brenda.
174
00:09:38,416 --> 00:09:39,167
- That's fine.
175
00:09:39,501 --> 00:09:40,794
- Are those the applications?
176
00:09:41,127 --> 00:09:43,046
- Yes, indeed. 33 this year.
177
00:09:43,379 --> 00:09:46,800
Really? Six more
than last year? Wow!
178
00:09:47,133 --> 00:09:48,635
And we got San Diego.
179
00:09:48,968 --> 00:09:50,804
- You are doing a
bang-upjob, Brenda.
180
00:09:51,137 --> 00:09:51,930
- Thank you.
181
00:09:53,139 --> 00:09:54,182
- Any real lookers this year?
182
00:09:54,516 --> 00:09:55,892
- Oh, you men.
183
00:09:56,226 --> 00:09:57,435
What do you mean us men?
184
00:09:57,769 --> 00:09:59,104
You women are checking
each other out
185
00:09:59,437 --> 00:10:01,064
a lot more than
any man I ever saw.
186
00:10:01,397 --> 00:10:02,190
You're always the first ones
187
00:10:02,524 --> 00:10:04,442
to sneak a look at the
centerfold of Playboy.
188
00:10:04,776 --> 00:10:05,443
- That's not true.
189
00:10:05,777 --> 00:10:07,737
- Are those the name tags?
190
00:10:10,323 --> 00:10:11,199
- Do you like it?
191
00:10:11,533 --> 00:10:12,617
- Do I like it.
192
00:10:14,369 --> 00:10:16,329
Boy, gold this year, huh?
193
00:10:17,497 --> 00:10:18,790
No, just yours is.
194
00:10:19,707 --> 00:10:22,085
The rest are only silver.
195
00:10:22,418 --> 00:10:26,089
Brenda, thank you.
That's really nice.
196
00:10:26,422 --> 00:10:28,091
Well, I've got a
Jaycette meeting.
197
00:10:28,424 --> 00:10:29,968
So, goodbye.
198
00:10:30,301 --> 00:10:31,928
See you tomorrow when
all the action starts.
199
00:10:32,262 --> 00:10:34,139
And don't do anything
I wouldn't do.
200
00:10:34,472 --> 00:10:35,181
Don't worry.
201
00:10:36,808 --> 00:10:39,102
Say, Brenda, where's your
hubby been hiding out?
202
00:10:39,435 --> 00:10:40,270
Andy? Hiding?
203
00:10:42,522 --> 00:10:46,734
Well, I missed him the last
couple of Jaycee luncheons.
204
00:10:47,068 --> 00:10:48,653
He had a touch of the flu.
205
00:10:48,987 --> 00:10:51,865
You'd better start taking
better care of him than that.
206
00:10:52,198 --> 00:10:53,533
He was my friend
first, you know.
207
00:10:53,867 --> 00:10:54,367
Right.
208
00:10:56,369 --> 00:10:58,246
You stole him from me.
209
00:11:02,917 --> 00:11:06,045
Hello, muffin.
How's my sweetheart?
210
00:11:06,379 --> 00:11:09,174
No, darling, you can't go out.
211
00:11:09,507 --> 00:11:10,842
I'm sorry, I'm late.
212
00:11:14,470 --> 00:11:15,597
- I see you got dinner.
213
00:11:15,930 --> 00:11:18,433
- Yep. Now dinner's getting me.
214
00:11:20,351 --> 00:11:23,521
Another evening of
sarcasm and self-pity.
215
00:11:47,629 --> 00:11:48,546
- Brenda, I'm sorry.
216
00:11:48,880 --> 00:11:49,589
- I'm tired.
217
00:11:51,883 --> 00:11:53,509
Yeah, we're all tired.
218
00:12:11,819 --> 00:12:14,364
You guys do it to me every time.
219
00:12:14,697 --> 00:12:17,367
Somebody's been fooling
with my thermostat again.
220
00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:18,368
Little Bob?
221
00:12:20,703 --> 00:12:21,371
MOm!
222
00:12:31,089 --> 00:12:33,549
(bird chirping)
223
00:12:36,636 --> 00:12:39,389
Hey, Roberta, have you
seen my applications?
224
00:12:39,722 --> 00:12:42,267
No, honey. Do you have
to work on those tonight?
225
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:46,062
It's pageantry time.
No rest for the weary.
226
00:12:55,697 --> 00:12:57,407
I'll tell you what we
are gonna do, though,
227
00:12:57,740 --> 00:12:59,867
after this week of pageantry.
228
00:13:00,201 --> 00:13:01,327
You and I are gonna sneak off
229
00:13:01,661 --> 00:13:03,830
and have us a romantic
little weekend.
230
00:13:04,163 --> 00:13:05,331
- How about Little Bob?
231
00:13:05,665 --> 00:13:08,293
- No, not this time.
Little Bob's out.
232
00:13:08,626 --> 00:13:09,836
Where are we going?
233
00:13:11,921 --> 00:13:14,382
I thought we'd go to Disneyland.
234
00:13:16,759 --> 00:13:19,470
- Yeah, I got my dad's
application book.
235
00:13:19,804 --> 00:13:20,722
- Who's the sexiest?
236
00:13:21,055 --> 00:13:21,973
I can't tell.
237
00:13:22,307 --> 00:13:24,183
The pictures are just
faces, no bodies.
238
00:13:24,517 --> 00:13:26,436
There's one from Simi Valley
who looks pretty good.
239
00:13:26,769 --> 00:13:28,688
But she's sticking out
where the picture ends.
240
00:13:29,022 --> 00:13:30,940
So she's either got
great tits or she's fat.
241
00:13:31,274 --> 00:13:33,401
Does she look like
she's been laid?
242
00:13:33,735 --> 00:13:34,944
How should I know, Chuck?
243
00:13:35,278 --> 00:13:37,780
They don't write down whether
or not they're virgins.
244
00:13:38,114 --> 00:13:39,490
Don't mess this up.
245
00:13:39,824 --> 00:13:40,825
There's a lot of money
in it for both of us.
246
00:13:41,159 --> 00:13:43,536
Quit worrying, Chuck.
I'll take care of my end.
247
00:13:43,870 --> 00:13:45,413
Now, are you sure
Freddy's got the Polaroid?
248
00:13:45,747 --> 00:13:47,123
- Little Bob!
249
00:13:47,457 --> 00:13:49,500
- Talk to you later, Chuck.
250
00:13:53,421 --> 00:13:56,382
Little Bob, have you
seen the applications?
251
00:13:56,716 --> 00:13:57,800
There they are.
252
00:13:58,134 --> 00:13:59,844
Sorry, Dad, were you
looking for these?
253
00:14:00,178 --> 00:14:01,637
I was just reading some of them.
254
00:14:01,971 --> 00:14:02,764
You were?
255
00:14:03,097 --> 00:14:04,682
You know something, Dad?
256
00:14:05,016 --> 00:14:06,476
I know I sort of
put down the pageant
257
00:14:06,809 --> 00:14:08,144
the last couple of years.
258
00:14:08,478 --> 00:14:10,438
But after reading
these applications,
259
00:14:10,772 --> 00:14:12,940
I can see why you want
to help these girls.
260
00:14:13,274 --> 00:14:15,234
They seem very worthwhile.
261
00:14:16,527 --> 00:14:17,612
Right on, son.
262
00:14:21,699 --> 00:14:22,450
These are the finest bunch
263
00:14:22,784 --> 00:14:25,203
of high school
girls in the state.
264
00:14:25,536 --> 00:14:26,871
You want to know something else?
265
00:14:27,205 --> 00:14:29,957
One of the most exciting
things about growing up:
266
00:14:30,291 --> 00:14:32,794
One day, you find
yourself being interested
267
00:14:33,127 --> 00:14:35,213
in all sorts of new things.
268
00:14:37,382 --> 00:14:38,383
You are tops.
269
00:14:39,342 --> 00:14:40,218
- Can I have these now?
270
00:14:40,551 --> 00:14:41,094
- Yeah.
271
00:14:43,638 --> 00:14:46,099
No rest for the weary this week.
272
00:14:49,519 --> 00:14:50,311
" Dad?
273
00:14:50,645 --> 00:14:51,562
- Yeah.
274
00:14:51,896 --> 00:14:53,773
Are there many fat
girls in the contest?
275
00:14:54,107 --> 00:14:55,274
No. Not usually.
276
00:15:02,073 --> 00:15:04,826
J' We can see a bright tomorrow
277
00:15:05,159 --> 00:15:08,287
J' Built by youth you see today
278
00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:10,957
J' We have faith, we have hope
279
00:15:11,290 --> 00:15:14,627
J' We can see a brighter day
280
00:15:19,674 --> 00:15:20,800
What are you doing?
281
00:15:21,134 --> 00:15:24,303
I was just looking at
this man's shaving stuff.
282
00:15:24,637 --> 00:15:25,721
Believe it or not,
I've never been
283
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:28,266
in a bathroom a man uses before.
284
00:15:28,599 --> 00:15:30,393
Well, I haven't, either. Hardly.
285
00:15:30,726 --> 00:15:32,728
I didn't mean that.
286
00:15:33,062 --> 00:15:35,565
I just meant that I
never had a brother
287
00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,108
or father or anything.
288
00:15:37,442 --> 00:15:38,734
- I grew up with just my mom.
289
00:15:39,068 --> 00:15:39,986
- Where's your father?
290
00:15:40,319 --> 00:15:41,946
He died when I was two.
291
00:15:42,280 --> 00:15:43,614
Wow, I'm sorry, Rob.
292
00:15:45,241 --> 00:15:46,367
Don't worry about it.
293
00:15:46,701 --> 00:15:47,743
I really think it
makes other people
294
00:15:48,077 --> 00:15:49,495
feel worse than it does me.
295
00:15:49,829 --> 00:15:52,623
I don't even remember
him. I was only two.
296
00:15:52,957 --> 00:15:54,667
You know what? It could
help you in this contest.
297
00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:56,627
Getting to be a top
high-school senior
298
00:15:56,961 --> 00:15:59,088
without a father to help you.
299
00:15:59,422 --> 00:16:02,175
Jesus, was that an
awful thing to say?
300
00:16:02,508 --> 00:16:04,302
No, I don't think so.
301
00:16:04,635 --> 00:16:06,220
I mean, do you really think
302
00:16:06,554 --> 00:16:08,639
that things like
having no father,
303
00:16:08,973 --> 00:16:10,600
and stuff like
that helps up here?
304
00:16:10,933 --> 00:16:12,518
Yeah, everything counts up here.
305
00:16:12,852 --> 00:16:15,521
Your grades, your personality,
the judges' conference.
306
00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:17,523
Jesus, I like it better
307
00:16:17,857 --> 00:16:20,526
when they just judge
your tits and ass.
308
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:21,903
- Have you been in one of those?
309
00:16:22,236 --> 00:16:22,904
- Yeah.
310
00:16:23,237 --> 00:16:24,322
- I won Miss Teenage Complexion.
311
00:16:24,655 --> 00:16:26,115
- I don't think I've
heard of that one.
312
00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:28,576
It was sponsored by this
horny old dermatologist
313
00:16:28,910 --> 00:16:29,911
in Orange County.
314
00:16:30,244 --> 00:16:32,413
He rented a room at
the Disneyland Hotel
315
00:16:32,747 --> 00:16:34,373
got 16 girls in bathing suits
316
00:16:34,707 --> 00:16:36,250
and he had his own
beauty contest.
317
00:16:36,584 --> 00:16:37,335
You're kidding me!
318
00:16:37,668 --> 00:16:39,295
Well, didn't you get mad?
319
00:16:39,629 --> 00:16:42,632
No. I won $200 and
had a wart removed.
320
00:16:46,552 --> 00:16:50,181
I think the biggest help
in my life has been my mom.
321
00:16:50,515 --> 00:16:52,350
Well, both my parents, really.
322
00:16:52,683 --> 00:16:53,935
Perhaps the judges' conference
323
00:16:54,268 --> 00:16:55,645
is the single most
important test
324
00:16:55,978 --> 00:16:58,648
of what a Young American
Miss is really made of.
325
00:16:58,981 --> 00:17:00,983
What I mean is the valuable
326
00:17:01,317 --> 00:17:04,153
and the fulfillment is
just helping others.
327
00:17:04,487 --> 00:17:06,489
Sandra Kay, tell me what
you think about Women's Lib.
328
00:17:06,822 --> 00:17:09,283
Well, I think it's
kind of silly.
329
00:17:15,581 --> 00:17:17,583
What I mean is, it's
not so important.
330
00:17:17,917 --> 00:17:22,338
Where is he? We're supposed
to start rehearsals.
331
00:17:22,672 --> 00:17:23,673
This is my first
year as President.
332
00:17:24,006 --> 00:17:25,591
The Jaycees are counting on me.
333
00:17:25,925 --> 00:17:26,926
- What if he doesn't show up?
334
00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,594
- Don't worry, he'll be here.
335
00:17:28,928 --> 00:17:31,389
I don't know why we had
to go and hire this guy.
336
00:17:31,722 --> 00:17:33,015
I don't know why we
couldn't have hired
337
00:17:33,349 --> 00:17:34,267
the guy we had last year.
338
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:35,810
That homosexual
from San Francisco.
339
00:17:36,143 --> 00:17:38,688
Now listen, I
worked long and hard
340
00:17:39,021 --> 00:17:40,439
to get Tommy French
for this show.
341
00:17:40,773 --> 00:17:42,024
It was a great coup.
342
00:17:42,358 --> 00:17:44,902
He's never staged a
local pageant before.
343
00:17:45,236 --> 00:17:46,821
- Doesn't look like he's
gonna stage this one.
344
00:17:47,154 --> 00:17:48,114
_ DQn"[ WOITY-
345
00:17:51,742 --> 00:17:54,662
Sandra Kay Mathic:
Miss Louisiana!
346
00:17:55,788 --> 00:17:56,831
These scholarships
are made possible
347
00:17:57,164 --> 00:17:58,541
by the optimistic support
348
00:17:58,874 --> 00:18:03,129
of the pageant's national
sponsors: Clairol and Denny's.
349
00:18:05,131 --> 00:18:06,966
The big show in Baton
Rouge is telecast
350
00:18:07,300 --> 00:18:09,385
nationally, and for
the past four years
351
00:18:09,719 --> 00:18:12,930
has been conceived and
directed by Mr. Tommy French.
352
00:18:13,264 --> 00:18:14,348
Although Mr. French is famous
353
00:18:14,682 --> 00:18:16,309
for his smooth
professional choreography
354
00:18:16,642 --> 00:18:19,854
he impresses on each girl
that their youthful enthusiasm
355
00:18:20,187 --> 00:18:22,773
is the main ingredient
of the big show.
356
00:18:23,107 --> 00:18:24,942
We should never have hired
a guy that expensive.
357
00:18:25,276 --> 00:18:27,820
Expensive people
are always late.
358
00:18:28,154 --> 00:18:29,614
- Where the hell is he?
359
00:18:29,947 --> 00:18:31,115
- Relax, I'm here.
360
00:18:32,908 --> 00:18:34,827
Mr. French is the Hollywood
professional and choreographer
361
00:18:35,161 --> 00:18:36,996
of many of your favorite
television programs.
362
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:40,416
We know each of the
girls has profited-
363
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:43,961
I look older in person, don't I?
364
00:18:45,296 --> 00:18:49,216
Have any of you had
any dance experience?
365
00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:50,885
- Does square dancing count?
366
00:18:51,218 --> 00:18:52,803
- Not with me, dear.
367
00:18:54,555 --> 00:18:57,683
Now, ladies, first
pick up the pompom.
368
00:19:01,145 --> 00:19:01,812
One, two.
369
00:19:03,189 --> 00:19:04,440
Ready?
370
00:19:04,774 --> 00:19:05,316
One, two.
371
00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:07,943
Sensational.
372
00:19:08,986 --> 00:19:09,862
Tambourines.
373
00:19:12,782 --> 00:19:13,449
One, two.
374
00:19:15,701 --> 00:19:16,661
And one, two.
375
00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:20,665
A real showstopper.
376
00:19:21,707 --> 00:19:23,125
Bamboo poles.
377
00:19:23,459 --> 00:19:25,169
I don't have a bamboo pole.
378
00:19:25,503 --> 00:19:27,046
One, two, three, four.
379
00:19:28,714 --> 00:19:29,423
Ready?
380
00:19:30,591 --> 00:19:32,051
And one, two, three.
381
00:19:35,888 --> 00:19:37,598
Very nice. Work on it.
382
00:19:39,600 --> 00:19:42,311
Well, first I do Spring is
Here, and then I do Summer Sun,
383
00:19:42,645 --> 00:19:44,105
then I do the first
half of Autumn Leaves,
384
00:19:44,438 --> 00:19:46,649
and I finish with
Winter Wonderland.
385
00:19:46,982 --> 00:19:49,777
I call it A Song
for All Seasons.
386
00:19:50,111 --> 00:19:53,989
Cute. Now have you got an
arrangement for all this?
387
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:57,868
No, I just thought you'd
sort of follow along.
388
00:19:59,578 --> 00:20:02,873
Hear that, boys? We just
sort of follow along.
389
00:20:03,207 --> 00:20:04,750
Okay, ready, four and.
390
00:20:07,044 --> 00:20:10,256
J' Spring is here
391
00:20:10,589 --> 00:20:14,552
J' Why doesn't my
heart go dancing
392
00:20:19,306 --> 00:20:20,683
What's the matter?
393
00:20:21,016 --> 00:20:21,809
I'm sorry.
394
00:20:23,185 --> 00:20:25,396
Well, I usually do
this to my own tape
395
00:20:25,730 --> 00:20:30,192
and live music sounds a
lot different from a tape.
396
00:20:30,526 --> 00:20:34,905
That's right, dear. We count
on that to make a living.
397
00:20:40,077 --> 00:20:42,747
That one from Fountain
Valley looks pretty good.
398
00:20:43,080 --> 00:20:44,999
I got a fountain she can
water her valley with.
399
00:20:45,332 --> 00:20:46,876
- Let me see.
400
00:20:47,209 --> 00:20:47,835
- You shouldn't be
allowed to use these
401
00:20:48,169 --> 00:20:49,170
the way you screwed things up!
402
00:20:49,503 --> 00:20:50,171
- I didn't.
403
00:20:50,504 --> 00:20:51,505
It's not my fault my mom took
404
00:20:51,839 --> 00:20:52,840
the Polaroid to her
Art Photography class!
405
00:20:53,174 --> 00:20:54,508
You should've known.
406
00:20:54,842 --> 00:20:56,302
This could be our last shot
at these girls, dickhead!
407
00:20:56,635 --> 00:20:57,303
Dickhead?
408
00:20:57,636 --> 00:20:59,722
Okay, no big damage done!
409
00:21:00,055 --> 00:21:01,515
We can pull it off tomorrow.
410
00:21:01,849 --> 00:21:02,850
You better not mess
up tomorrow, Freddy.
411
00:21:03,184 --> 00:21:04,643
We already got $22 in orders.
412
00:21:04,977 --> 00:21:06,020
That much, Little Bob?
413
00:21:06,353 --> 00:21:08,898
You know that new kid, the fat
one, never suits up for gym?
414
00:21:09,231 --> 00:21:11,066
He bought $8 worth himself.
415
00:21:14,069 --> 00:21:15,738
Wow! Look at that
one from Bakersfield.
416
00:21:16,071 --> 00:21:19,658
I got something she
could bake in her field.
417
00:21:20,618 --> 00:21:21,285
I hate him.
418
00:21:25,623 --> 00:21:26,916
Ah right, that'll be another $1
419
00:21:27,249 --> 00:21:29,835
for slandering a fellow officer.
420
00:21:31,670 --> 00:21:34,089
You see, old Phil'sjust mad
because his auto repair shop
421
00:21:34,423 --> 00:21:36,759
isn't doing as well
as my mortuary.
422
00:21:37,092 --> 00:21:40,221
We sell more caskets
than he does gaskets.
423
00:21:42,556 --> 00:21:45,142
Anyway, I'd like to introduce
our very special guest
424
00:21:45,476 --> 00:21:46,936
from the Young
American Miss Pageant,
425
00:21:47,269 --> 00:21:49,063
first of all, Mrs.
Brenda DiCarlo,
426
00:21:49,396 --> 00:21:50,856
who is the pageant supervisor.
427
00:21:51,190 --> 00:21:53,901
(audience applauding)
428
00:21:54,235 --> 00:21:54,985
Thank you.
429
00:21:56,987 --> 00:21:58,030
Brenda, of course, is the wife
430
00:21:58,364 --> 00:22:00,908
of our fellow
Bear, Andy DiCarlo.
431
00:22:01,242 --> 00:22:02,284
Stand up, Andy.
432
00:22:05,621 --> 00:22:07,498
I think old Andy's
gonna get fined twice.
433
00:22:07,832 --> 00:22:08,791
Once for not showing up,
434
00:22:09,124 --> 00:22:11,001
and once for having
such a beautiful wife.
435
00:22:11,335 --> 00:22:12,378
Where is he?
436
00:22:12,711 --> 00:22:14,129
Let's give Brenda and all
the other pretty young girls
437
00:22:14,463 --> 00:22:16,423
a growling Bears' welcome!
438
00:22:20,094 --> 00:22:22,179
Are you having a
good time up here?
439
00:22:22,513 --> 00:22:23,806
- Pretty good.
440
00:22:24,139 --> 00:22:24,974
- Very good.
441
00:22:25,307 --> 00:22:26,141
Good.
442
00:22:26,475 --> 00:22:28,978
I'm glad you
appreciate it so much.
443
00:22:29,311 --> 00:22:31,856
I do. It's such an
incredible experience for me.
444
00:22:32,189 --> 00:22:34,692
I mean, I've never done
anything like this in my life.
445
00:22:35,025 --> 00:22:36,861
Santa Rosa is so beautiful.
446
00:22:37,194 --> 00:22:39,989
I mean, I thought the
shopping mall in Anaheim
447
00:22:40,322 --> 00:22:42,199
was great until I saw yours.
448
00:22:42,533 --> 00:22:46,495
It's a credit to the vision
of your business community.
449
00:22:46,829 --> 00:22:49,790
(audience applauding)
450
00:22:52,293 --> 00:22:52,960
Thank you.
451
00:22:55,170 --> 00:22:55,796
Next.
452
00:23:00,009 --> 00:23:00,926
- Hi, I'm Robin Gibson.
453
00:23:01,260 --> 00:23:02,678
- Speak up, dear.
454
00:23:03,012 --> 00:23:07,808
Hi, I'm Robin Gibson. Antelope
Valley's Young American Miss.
455
00:23:08,976 --> 00:23:11,395
Thank you for
inviting me to lunch.
456
00:23:15,316 --> 00:23:16,025
Next.
457
00:23:18,694 --> 00:23:22,448
I'm Maria Gonzales. Salinas'
Young American Miss.
458
00:23:22,781 --> 00:23:27,077
And since you gentlemen have
been nice enough to feed us,
459
00:23:27,411 --> 00:23:32,166
I would like to feed you with
this homemade guacamole dip.
460
00:23:33,250 --> 00:23:35,753
It's a typical dish of
my native land, Mexico.
461
00:23:36,086 --> 00:23:37,004
You like to try?
462
00:23:38,130 --> 00:23:40,007
How about that?
463
00:23:40,341 --> 00:23:43,093
(audience applauding)
464
00:23:44,303 --> 00:23:45,846
I suppose Santa Rosa
465
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:49,183
means so much to me
as a Mexican-American
466
00:23:51,143 --> 00:23:54,897
because Santa Rosa is
Spanish for "Saint Rose."
467
00:23:59,693 --> 00:24:00,736
I knew when you
stopped showing up
468
00:24:01,070 --> 00:24:02,154
at the Bears and the Optimist
469
00:24:02,488 --> 00:24:04,406
that you must really
be down in the dumps.
470
00:24:04,740 --> 00:24:06,033
Yeah, I guess.
471
00:24:06,367 --> 00:24:10,245
Look, I want to go someplace
where you can get a drink.
472
00:24:10,579 --> 00:24:11,872
- How about a Major Weenie?
473
00:24:12,206 --> 00:24:13,040
- Oh, no!
474
00:24:13,374 --> 00:24:14,083
A foot of fun.
475
00:24:18,754 --> 00:24:20,798
- Woof, woof, Your
order, please.
476
00:24:21,131 --> 00:24:22,049
- Hiya, PUP-
477
00:24:22,383 --> 00:24:25,052
Wanna fetch us two El Majors
478
00:24:25,386 --> 00:24:29,014
a couple orders of fries,
and two vanilla shakes.
479
00:24:30,641 --> 00:24:34,979
No, make it make it one vanilla
shake and one black coffee.
480
00:24:35,312 --> 00:24:35,980
- Will that be all?
481
00:24:36,313 --> 00:24:38,399
- I think so, Major.
482
00:24:38,732 --> 00:24:41,944
Are you sure you don't
want a vanilla shake, Andy?
483
00:24:42,277 --> 00:24:43,570
You'll be sorry.
484
00:24:43,904 --> 00:24:46,115
You know, sometimes I
think it's this town
485
00:24:46,448 --> 00:24:48,117
that's getting to me.
486
00:24:48,450 --> 00:24:50,744
I mean, I've lived here
all my life, right?
487
00:24:51,078 --> 00:24:54,123
Maybe I should go someplace
completely new, a big city.
488
00:24:54,456 --> 00:24:55,582
Andy, the grass
is always greener
489
00:24:55,916 --> 00:24:57,876
on the other side of the hill.
490
00:24:58,210 --> 00:25:00,796
Andy, you're crazy to think
about moving to a big city.
491
00:25:01,130 --> 00:25:03,799
I had my own mortuary
in LA for eight years,
492
00:25:04,133 --> 00:25:06,760
hell, the pace damn
near killed me!
493
00:25:11,056 --> 00:25:12,975
You get caught on the
Hollywood freeway at 4:00 pm
494
00:25:13,308 --> 00:25:15,185
with a loaded hearse,
and you're in trouble.
495
00:25:15,519 --> 00:25:16,228
- The big one's for you.
496
00:25:16,562 --> 00:25:18,022
- I always knew you
were a big weenie.
497
00:25:18,355 --> 00:25:19,314
What the holy hell
you doin here?
498
00:25:19,648 --> 00:25:20,649
Haven't you just had
lunch with the girls?
499
00:25:20,983 --> 00:25:22,234
I'm getting lunch
for my embalmers.
500
00:25:22,568 --> 00:25:23,569
They don't like to go out.
501
00:25:23,902 --> 00:25:25,404
Takes them too long
to wash their hands.
502
00:25:25,738 --> 00:25:27,364
Andy, you stop all this
talk about leaving town,
503
00:25:27,698 --> 00:25:28,365
do you hear me?
504
00:25:28,699 --> 00:25:29,575
Come on, can we get out of here?
505
00:25:29,908 --> 00:25:30,451
Andy!
506
00:25:32,745 --> 00:25:34,788
Who's gonna pay
for all this stuff?
507
00:25:35,122 --> 00:25:36,707
That's another thing I
hate about this town.
508
00:25:37,041 --> 00:25:37,875
Everybody's always
sticking his nose
509
00:25:38,208 --> 00:25:39,877
in everybody else's business.
510
00:25:40,210 --> 00:25:41,462
- I want a drink.
511
00:25:41,795 --> 00:25:44,590
- All righty, we'll
go to my office.
512
00:25:46,425 --> 00:25:50,220
I guess it wouldn't hurt to
have one toddy for the body.
513
00:25:50,554 --> 00:25:53,223
Actually, I feel
just the opposite.
514
00:25:54,933 --> 00:25:55,851
Atta boy.
515
00:25:56,185 --> 00:25:57,478
I like to know my neighbors.
516
00:25:57,811 --> 00:26:00,606
Especially in a
small town like this.
517
00:26:03,817 --> 00:26:05,444
Don't you, really?
518
00:26:05,778 --> 00:26:08,113
I'm beginning to think
that's a crock of shit, too.
519
00:26:08,447 --> 00:26:10,866
Come on, Andy. You're
just having a bad day.
520
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:13,160
I mean, look at all the razzing
521
00:26:13,494 --> 00:26:15,162
we have at all those meetings.
522
00:26:15,496 --> 00:26:19,208
The teasing, all of the
fining, all that stuff.
523
00:26:19,541 --> 00:26:21,251
- But that's all really
just fun, isn't it?
524
00:26:21,585 --> 00:26:24,129
- Doesn't seem like
fun to me anymore.
525
00:26:24,463 --> 00:26:25,339
I never know what to say to you
526
00:26:25,672 --> 00:26:27,758
when you say something
like that to me.
527
00:26:28,092 --> 00:26:30,094
I know something
that will be fun.
528
00:26:30,427 --> 00:26:32,304
This Friday night, huh?
529
00:26:34,181 --> 00:26:35,974
The cry of the Rooster.
530
00:26:37,935 --> 00:26:40,145
Come on, you actually
gonna sit there and tell me
531
00:26:40,479 --> 00:26:42,189
this coming Friday night at
the Exhausted Rooster Ceremony,
532
00:26:42,523 --> 00:26:45,067
that you're not gonna
have a good time?
533
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:48,862
Bullshit! That's the
stuff I'm talking about!
534
00:26:49,196 --> 00:26:52,491
That a guy turns 35, and
the Jaycees make a big deal
535
00:26:52,825 --> 00:26:54,701
about tossing him out
because he's too old?
536
00:26:55,035 --> 00:26:57,287
Listen to yourself.
What did you just say?
537
00:26:57,621 --> 00:26:58,622
"A guy turns 35."
538
00:26:59,957 --> 00:27:01,125
That's really what's
bugging you, isn't it?
539
00:27:01,458 --> 00:27:02,543
That you're about to turn 35?
540
00:27:02,876 --> 00:27:03,418
Maybe.
541
00:27:08,674 --> 00:27:09,967
Or maybe I don't see what's fun
542
00:27:10,300 --> 00:27:12,427
about kissing a
dead chicken's ass.
543
00:27:12,761 --> 00:27:15,514
That's 'cause you
haven't tried it.
544
00:27:15,848 --> 00:27:17,975
"Certainly, external
beauty is important
545
00:27:18,308 --> 00:27:20,477
"but the National Committee
would like to remind all judges
546
00:27:20,811 --> 00:27:23,480
"of that which Bacon had
in mind, when he said:
547
00:27:23,814 --> 00:27:25,607
"That is the best
part of beauty,
548
00:27:25,941 --> 00:27:28,569
"which a picture cannot express.
549
00:27:28,902 --> 00:27:31,280
"We're looking for
an inner beauty.
550
00:27:31,613 --> 00:27:35,409
"A depth of personality,
a plain zest for living.
551
00:27:35,742 --> 00:27:38,203
"In short, select a girl
that you would be proud
552
00:27:38,537 --> 00:27:41,290
"to have as your own daughter."
553
00:27:41,623 --> 00:27:42,457
Any questions?
554
00:27:42,791 --> 00:27:44,835
- How long do we
have with each girl?
555
00:27:45,169 --> 00:27:46,003
- 1O minutes.
556
00:27:47,379 --> 00:27:48,380
Marie, could you
tell us why you think
557
00:27:48,714 --> 00:27:50,924
you'd like to go
into missionary work?
558
00:27:51,258 --> 00:27:52,801
In your own words.
559
00:27:53,135 --> 00:27:57,514
It's like if I can share my
culture with someone else
560
00:27:57,848 --> 00:27:59,391
that way I can
learn about theirs
561
00:27:59,725 --> 00:28:01,643
and enrich my own
life as well as,
562
00:28:01,977 --> 00:28:04,271
hopefully, enriching theirs.
563
00:28:04,605 --> 00:28:06,940
Plus, the idea of
helping one another.
564
00:28:07,274 --> 00:28:09,193
Do you get an enjoyment
out of helping others?
565
00:28:09,526 --> 00:28:10,485
Yes, I have.
566
00:28:10,819 --> 00:28:12,821
We have a handicapped
Olympics every year
567
00:28:13,155 --> 00:28:15,782
and we help them
get to their races
568
00:28:16,783 --> 00:28:18,452
and their events on time.
569
00:28:18,785 --> 00:28:21,413
And, their winning isjust...
570
00:28:21,747 --> 00:28:23,999
It's the most fantastic
thing to experience.
571
00:28:24,333 --> 00:28:26,126
Not only themselves,
but yourself,
572
00:28:26,460 --> 00:28:27,920
forjust helping a little.
573
00:28:28,253 --> 00:28:30,172
Well, I'd like to be a nurse.
574
00:28:30,505 --> 00:28:34,301
I think that would be
one of the best ways
575
00:28:34,635 --> 00:28:37,429
that I could do things
for other people.
576
00:28:37,763 --> 00:28:41,350
You see, I want to be a
veterinarian, or a nun
577
00:28:44,353 --> 00:28:46,605
because I like helping others.
578
00:28:46,939 --> 00:28:48,315
Yeah, lthink it
would be a lot of fun.
579
00:28:48,649 --> 00:28:50,108
I like helping people.
580
00:28:50,442 --> 00:28:52,986
Robin, I noticed that
in your senior year
581
00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:55,614
you went to work part-time
at J.C. Penney's.
582
00:28:55,948 --> 00:28:58,909
And yet you still managed to
keep your 4.0 grade average.
583
00:28:59,243 --> 00:29:00,494
Did you find that difficult,
584
00:29:00,827 --> 00:29:03,288
to work and still
get good grades?
585
00:29:03,622 --> 00:29:04,414
Of course.
586
00:29:10,254 --> 00:29:13,006
I'll bet you found that
the experience of working
587
00:29:13,340 --> 00:29:15,801
was an education in itself.
588
00:29:16,134 --> 00:29:19,471
Yes, it was. I met a lot of
different kinds of people.
589
00:29:19,805 --> 00:29:20,472
- And did you-
590
00:29:20,806 --> 00:29:22,182
- What would...
591
00:29:22,516 --> 00:29:24,685
Go right ahead,
Father. It's all yours.
592
00:29:25,018 --> 00:29:26,895
What would you do
if your best friend
593
00:29:27,229 --> 00:29:28,855
was unwed and pregnant?
594
00:29:30,941 --> 00:29:31,650
Excuse me?
595
00:29:34,528 --> 00:29:39,449
Would you advise her to have
the baby or seek an abortion?
596
00:29:48,792 --> 00:29:50,836
I thought a lot
about that last year
597
00:29:51,169 --> 00:29:53,964
when California was
thinking about voting
598
00:29:54,298 --> 00:29:57,342
on whether to legalize
abortion or not.
599
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:01,680
I read a lot about that, and
my mom and I talked about it.
600
00:30:02,014 --> 00:30:02,556
And?
601
00:30:04,182 --> 00:30:05,642
What did you decide?
602
00:30:08,812 --> 00:30:12,774
I decided I was glad I
wasn't old enough to vote.
603
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,904
That's a terrific
answer, Father.
604
00:30:19,990 --> 00:30:24,369
I see here that you've been
a flutist for nine years.
605
00:30:26,496 --> 00:30:28,290
Boy, you must have been so
small when you started out that
606
00:30:28,623 --> 00:30:31,668
that was practically the only
instrument you could hold.
607
00:30:32,002 --> 00:30:35,255
I love the flute. I'm gonna
play it in the pageant.
608
00:30:35,589 --> 00:30:37,382
By the looks of all these
wonderful music awards
609
00:30:37,716 --> 00:30:39,176
that you've won
we're certainly in
610
00:30:39,509 --> 00:30:41,553
for quite a treat, aren't we?
611
00:30:42,846 --> 00:30:45,307
Why do you like to
play the flute, dear?
612
00:30:45,640 --> 00:30:46,767
In your own words.
613
00:30:48,393 --> 00:30:50,312
Lots of reasons, I guess.
614
00:30:52,314 --> 00:30:54,358
Well, it sounds so pretty.
615
00:30:56,568 --> 00:31:00,614
And when I play it right,
it fills me up inside.
616
00:31:03,658 --> 00:31:06,328
I do guess I like
being in the spotlight,
617
00:31:06,661 --> 00:31:08,705
it's glamorous and exciting.
618
00:31:09,039 --> 00:31:09,998
And you must be
pleased as punch,
619
00:31:10,332 --> 00:31:12,292
making all those
other people happy.
620
00:31:12,626 --> 00:31:13,919
Pardon me?
621
00:31:14,252 --> 00:31:17,589
The other people who
are listening to you
playing the flute.
622
00:31:17,923 --> 00:31:19,299
Nothing lightens
a person's spirit
623
00:31:19,633 --> 00:31:21,468
or brightens their load
like a little music.
624
00:31:21,802 --> 00:31:22,594
- Isn't that right, Robin?
625
00:31:22,928 --> 00:31:24,221
- Oh, yes.
626
00:31:24,554 --> 00:31:28,558
I think my music is one of the
best ways I can help others.
627
00:31:35,357 --> 00:31:37,025
Jerry, you told me
Fort Worth was all set,
628
00:31:37,359 --> 00:31:40,153
and now they want
to lower the price.
629
00:31:41,196 --> 00:31:42,322
I realize it's a summer show,
630
00:31:42,656 --> 00:31:45,575
but why should they
pay so much less?
631
00:31:45,909 --> 00:31:46,910
Shit.
632
00:31:47,244 --> 00:31:48,703
It's harder to stage
dances in the summer.
633
00:31:49,037 --> 00:31:50,205
It's more sweat.
634
00:31:54,251 --> 00:31:56,711
Tell them there's
absolutely no way
635
00:31:57,045 --> 00:31:59,798
I'll take the job at that price.
636
00:32:00,132 --> 00:32:04,803
And if that doesn't work, then
fall on your knees and beg.
637
00:32:06,096 --> 00:32:07,264
I'll be back Sunday,
unless I decide
638
00:32:07,597 --> 00:32:10,434
to stay here for
the polling seminar.
639
00:32:15,814 --> 00:32:16,481
Oh, Well.
640
00:32:23,822 --> 00:32:25,615
Mr. French, we have a
show to do in two days.
641
00:32:25,949 --> 00:32:26,783
You're 4O minutes late.
642
00:32:27,117 --> 00:32:27,784
- Forgive me, Mr. Sheep.
643
00:32:28,118 --> 00:32:29,286
- That's Shears.
644
00:32:31,580 --> 00:32:34,040
I realize that you and I
645
00:32:34,374 --> 00:32:37,169
have gotten off to
a rather shaky start
646
00:32:37,502 --> 00:32:38,920
but things don't have
to stay that way.
647
00:32:39,254 --> 00:32:40,422
What do you say?
648
00:32:42,466 --> 00:32:43,925
Let's keep it shaky.
649
00:32:45,051 --> 00:32:46,553
Okay, girls.
650
00:32:46,887 --> 00:32:49,723
Oh, hell. It's 6 feet
too tall. I told you.
651
00:32:50,056 --> 00:32:50,557
Oh, no.
652
00:33:00,734 --> 00:33:02,986
Take it from the faith
and hope stuff, right?
653
00:33:03,320 --> 00:33:05,947
J' Ready to start out,
singing our hearts out
654
00:33:06,281 --> 00:33:09,576
J' We'll see a bright tomorrow
655
00:33:09,910 --> 00:33:12,454
J' Built by youth you see today
656
00:33:12,787 --> 00:33:14,998
J' We have faith, we have hope
657
00:33:15,332 --> 00:33:19,503
J' We can see a brighter day
658
00:33:19,836 --> 00:33:21,421
J' We're here singing
659
00:33:21,755 --> 00:33:22,589
IAnd we're here to dance
660
00:33:22,923 --> 00:33:23,715
Move!
661
00:33:24,049 --> 00:33:25,675
IAnd everyone's here
with an equal chance
662
00:33:26,009 --> 00:33:29,596
J' To be crowned a
Young American
663
00:33:29,930 --> 00:33:32,891
J' Young American Miss
664
00:33:36,645 --> 00:33:38,980
(upbeat music)
665
00:33:56,790 --> 00:33:59,501
And one, kick, three and four!
666
00:33:59,834 --> 00:34:00,335
Hold it!
667
00:34:04,714 --> 00:34:05,507
- Another luncheon.
668
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:07,050
- Are these the guys that roar?
669
00:34:07,384 --> 00:34:09,261
No, these are the ones
with tassels on their hats.
670
00:34:09,594 --> 00:34:11,555
Folks, please, now
this is No Man's Land,
671
00:34:11,888 --> 00:34:14,808
and I'm telling
you, you can't get-
672
00:34:17,394 --> 00:34:19,729
(upbeat music)
673
00:34:37,622 --> 00:34:38,665
Where is he?
674
00:34:38,999 --> 00:34:40,000
We should have never let
675
00:34:40,333 --> 00:34:41,585
the little asshole
Freddy in on this.
676
00:34:41,918 --> 00:34:43,753
He better show! We now
have $36 worth of orders.
677
00:34:44,087 --> 00:34:45,297
Jesus!
678
00:34:45,630 --> 00:34:48,049
I got it all worked out.
$1.50 for back shot with butt.
679
00:34:48,383 --> 00:34:49,759
$2.50 for frontal shots.
680
00:34:50,093 --> 00:34:51,553
And $5 if I can get a shot
681
00:34:51,886 --> 00:34:54,139
with two naked girls
touching each other.
682
00:34:54,472 --> 00:34:55,515
Where's Freddy?
683
00:34:59,269 --> 00:35:00,645
- What took you so long?
684
00:35:00,979 --> 00:35:02,731
- I got here, didn't I?
685
00:35:03,064 --> 00:35:06,067
Complete with camera and
my own personal zoom lens.
686
00:35:06,401 --> 00:35:07,861
You're weird, Freddy.
687
00:35:09,779 --> 00:35:10,614
- Where's the film?
688
00:35:10,947 --> 00:35:11,823
- Isn't it in there?
689
00:35:12,157 --> 00:35:13,116
- No.
690
00:35:13,450 --> 00:35:14,576
- But in the ads, the
film is always in there.
691
00:35:14,909 --> 00:35:18,455
You asshole! I'm
gonna kick your butt!
692
00:35:18,788 --> 00:35:19,247
Come on!
693
00:35:19,581 --> 00:35:20,248
- You're dead!
694
00:35:20,582 --> 00:35:21,249
- We got no time to argue.
695
00:35:21,583 --> 00:35:22,584
You tore my shirt, you faggot!
696
00:35:22,917 --> 00:35:25,253
So we missed the girls
putting on their clothes.
697
00:35:25,587 --> 00:35:26,880
We'll get some
film and catch them
698
00:35:27,213 --> 00:35:30,759
when they come back from lunch
taking off their clothes.
699
00:35:31,092 --> 00:35:33,845
Yeah. Taking off their clothes.
700
00:35:34,179 --> 00:35:35,930
Let's go. Boy, I can't
wait to see these pictures.
701
00:35:36,264 --> 00:35:37,265
You want to see something
702
00:35:37,599 --> 00:35:40,685
that will develop even
faster than the film?
703
00:35:41,019 --> 00:35:41,978
Pick up my bike.
704
00:35:42,937 --> 00:35:43,855
Eat it!
705
00:35:52,739 --> 00:35:53,615
- Hello, boys.
706
00:35:53,948 --> 00:35:55,033
- Hello, Mr. Greener.
707
00:35:55,367 --> 00:35:56,618
Have you got film
for this camera?
708
00:35:56,951 --> 00:36:00,038
We've been to two other
stores, and they're both out.
709
00:36:00,372 --> 00:36:01,665
You're in luck.
710
00:36:01,998 --> 00:36:05,377
Guaranteed shipment coming in
first thing in the morning.
711
00:36:05,710 --> 00:36:07,170
- Santa Rosa sucks.
712
00:36:07,504 --> 00:36:08,463
- Wait a minute, boys.
713
00:36:08,797 --> 00:36:10,840
If there's something
special happening,
714
00:36:11,174 --> 00:36:13,051
I'll lend you a
camera with film.
715
00:36:13,385 --> 00:36:14,219
- You will?
716
00:36:14,552 --> 00:36:15,261
- Sure.
717
00:36:15,595 --> 00:36:17,931
Would this be a Polaroid camera?
718
00:36:18,264 --> 00:36:20,767
Sorry, those babies
are never for loan.
719
00:36:21,101 --> 00:36:22,894
So you'd have to send
the film to a lab?
720
00:36:23,228 --> 00:36:25,313
Sure. But, don't worry.
721
00:36:25,647 --> 00:36:28,024
I'll check every print myself.
722
00:36:28,358 --> 00:36:30,110
No, thanks, Mr.
Greener, we'll be back
723
00:36:30,443 --> 00:36:33,279
in the morning for
the Polaroid film.
724
00:36:36,741 --> 00:36:38,618
J' Even Jake, the plumber
725
00:36:38,952 --> 00:36:41,496
J' He's a man I adore
726
00:36:41,830 --> 00:36:46,584
J' Had the nerve to tell me
he's been married before
727
00:36:48,002 --> 00:36:51,673
J' Everyone knows that I'm
just Secondhand Rose
728
00:36:52,006 --> 00:36:54,843
J' From Second Avenue
729
00:36:57,554 --> 00:36:58,221
oV Vey!
730
00:37:02,016 --> 00:37:02,684
Next.
731
00:37:12,444 --> 00:37:13,319
Well, hello.
732
00:37:16,406 --> 00:37:19,576
Are you here to sing
or to make butter?
733
00:37:20,785 --> 00:37:22,871
They told me to come in costume.
734
00:37:23,204 --> 00:37:24,914
No, dear, that's tomorrow.
735
00:37:27,959 --> 00:37:30,253
I don't like that music man.
736
00:37:30,587 --> 00:37:33,506
He's mean to the
Young American Misses.
737
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,300
It's a depressing
thing to see one person
738
00:37:35,633 --> 00:37:37,927
being mean to another person.
739
00:37:40,638 --> 00:37:41,806
I need a drink.
740
00:37:59,783 --> 00:38:01,785
For those who think young.
741
00:38:08,249 --> 00:38:09,918
What is it, Mr. Nakas?
742
00:38:20,929 --> 00:38:22,055
It's starting.
743
00:38:23,097 --> 00:38:25,391
I told them it would
start, and it started.
744
00:38:25,725 --> 00:38:26,434
- What?
745
00:38:26,768 --> 00:38:28,269
- The pipes are backed up.
746
00:38:28,603 --> 00:38:33,066
I can hear them moaning and
grumbling and starting to choke.
747
00:38:33,399 --> 00:38:35,276
I can't hear nothing.
748
00:38:35,610 --> 00:38:38,613
I got an acute sense
of hearing pipes.
749
00:38:42,158 --> 00:38:42,992
There they go.
750
00:38:44,369 --> 00:38:47,330
They're fed up with
swallowing Kotex.
751
00:38:48,456 --> 00:38:49,874
Who wouldn't be?
752
00:38:50,208 --> 00:38:52,460
I don't really think of it
as a competition that much
753
00:38:52,794 --> 00:38:54,879
because we all want to win,
754
00:38:56,214 --> 00:38:57,715
but we're not really
competing with each other.
755
00:38:58,049 --> 00:38:58,883
We're more friends.
756
00:38:59,217 --> 00:39:03,096
I guess I'll just be
happy that I was here.
757
00:39:03,429 --> 00:39:06,015
I think it was a good
opportunity for me
758
00:39:06,349 --> 00:39:08,059
and I've met a lot of people.
759
00:39:08,393 --> 00:39:09,561
Next to my mom and dad,
760
00:39:09,894 --> 00:39:12,647
I guess I'd have to
say my accordion.
761
00:39:12,981 --> 00:39:15,900
The Young American Miss from
Salinas, Maria Gonzales.
762
00:39:16,234 --> 00:39:17,360
- Yes, ma'am.
763
00:39:17,694 --> 00:39:18,695
- You're next.
764
00:39:20,029 --> 00:39:21,614
What is that, dear?
765
00:39:22,991 --> 00:39:25,034
I thought the judges
would be hungry
766
00:39:25,368 --> 00:39:26,452
after helping us so long,
767
00:39:26,786 --> 00:39:31,040
so I made them a specialty
of my native land.
768
00:39:31,374 --> 00:39:32,876
It's guacamole dip.
769
00:39:33,209 --> 00:39:34,919
Like you did for the Bears.
770
00:39:35,253 --> 00:39:36,045
Si.
771
00:39:40,884 --> 00:39:42,594
God, how can you stand
being her roommate?
772
00:39:42,927 --> 00:39:43,970
It's all right.
773
00:39:44,304 --> 00:39:45,430
She spends most of her
time in the kitchen
774
00:39:45,763 --> 00:39:47,265
making guacamole dip.
775
00:39:49,809 --> 00:39:54,355
Abraham Lincoln and Pancho
Villa symbolize my own theory.
776
00:40:03,489 --> 00:40:05,992
Hello, this is
Ernestine, the operator,
777
00:40:06,326 --> 00:40:07,619
calling for Miss Pearl Bailey.
778
00:40:07,952 --> 00:40:10,038
Well, I'm sorry if she's tired,
779
00:40:10,371 --> 00:40:12,415
but could you please put her on?
780
00:40:12,749 --> 00:40:13,917
It's very important.
781
00:40:14,250 --> 00:40:15,919
Their parents made them
beautiful, not them.
782
00:40:16,252 --> 00:40:16,794
I got it.
783
00:40:19,213 --> 00:40:21,549
Boys get money and scholarships
784
00:40:22,967 --> 00:40:25,553
for making a lot of
touchdowns, right?
785
00:40:25,887 --> 00:40:28,765
Why shouldn't a girl get one
for being cute and charming?
786
00:40:29,098 --> 00:40:31,434
Yeah, but maybe
boys shouldn't be
787
00:40:31,768 --> 00:40:34,520
getting money for
making touchdowns.
788
00:40:38,608 --> 00:40:41,110
Hello, this is
Ernestine, the operator.
789
00:40:41,444 --> 00:40:43,112
Who am I speaking to?
790
00:40:45,615 --> 00:40:48,242
This is Edith
Bunker, the dingbat.
791
00:40:50,119 --> 00:40:51,537
And one, two, three, four.
792
00:40:51,871 --> 00:40:55,083
Coming along. Okay,
now watch this.
793
00:40:55,416 --> 00:40:56,501
And kick and bend.
794
00:40:57,877 --> 00:41:01,005
No, if you kick and
bend at the same time,
795
00:41:03,216 --> 00:41:05,426
you're going to
knock yourself out.
796
00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,429
All right, once again.
Here we go, and...
797
00:41:08,763 --> 00:41:12,016
J' Spring is here
798
00:41:12,350 --> 00:41:16,813
J' Why doesn't the
breeze delight me
799
00:41:17,146 --> 00:41:20,733
J' Stars appear
800
00:41:21,067 --> 00:41:24,946
J' Why doesn't the
night invite me
801
00:41:25,279 --> 00:41:28,658
J' Maybe it's because
nobody loves me
802
00:41:28,992 --> 00:41:31,244
I went to Juilliard for this?
803
00:41:32,203 --> 00:41:33,830
We all went to Juilliard.
804
00:41:34,163 --> 00:41:37,250
J' Spring is here, I hear
805
00:41:44,424 --> 00:41:49,262
J' Summer in the sunshine
806
00:41:50,388 --> 00:41:54,684
J' Days that never end
807
00:41:55,560 --> 00:41:58,146
J' When the spotlight
808
00:42:00,857 --> 00:42:02,900
DiCarlo Trophies.
809
00:42:03,234 --> 00:42:04,193
Golfer awards?
810
00:42:05,111 --> 00:42:06,571
Worst golfer awards?
811
00:42:08,990 --> 00:42:10,283
Hey, Andy. You got the trophies?
812
00:42:10,616 --> 00:42:11,993
- Yeah, I'm working on them.
813
00:42:12,326 --> 00:42:13,995
- Working on them?
814
00:42:14,328 --> 00:42:16,456
What the hell, Andy, the
first show's tonight.
815
00:42:16,789 --> 00:42:18,291
Your wife told me to come
over and pick them up.
816
00:42:18,624 --> 00:42:20,501
You tell my wife to go...
817
00:42:23,546 --> 00:42:26,299
It's a little drunken golfer
leaning on his putter.
818
00:42:26,632 --> 00:42:30,053
Alan, tell my wife
I'm working on them.
819
00:42:30,386 --> 00:42:32,388
- Ramon will bring them
over this afternoon.
820
00:42:32,722 --> 00:42:35,099
- Okay, you're the boss.
821
00:42:35,433 --> 00:42:36,768
No, she's the boss.
822
00:42:37,101 --> 00:42:40,063
She just doesn't know
how to make trophies.
823
00:42:40,396 --> 00:42:42,065
Now, at this point,
I take my sparklers
824
00:42:42,398 --> 00:42:44,275
and I light them with
my Torch of Freedom.
825
00:42:44,609 --> 00:42:45,902
But you don't have to worry-
826
00:42:46,235 --> 00:42:47,445
But let's not put too much
powder in these things.
827
00:42:47,779 --> 00:42:50,698
If we're gonna have a fire,
save it for the last night.
828
00:42:51,032 --> 00:42:53,534
I know how to
handle my equipment.
829
00:42:53,868 --> 00:42:55,286
Now, I want red and green gels
830
00:42:55,620 --> 00:42:57,246
at both the spots at my entrance
831
00:42:57,580 --> 00:42:59,123
and I want the
senior klieg at 50%
832
00:42:59,457 --> 00:43:00,958
when I do my high
tosses because-
833
00:43:01,292 --> 00:43:02,126
- Yeah, yeah.
834
00:43:02,460 --> 00:43:04,170
- Por favor, you're on.
835
00:43:08,966 --> 00:43:09,926
Helga, when you go out
there, be sure to...
836
00:43:10,259 --> 00:43:12,428
Will you please shut the door?
837
00:43:14,180 --> 00:43:14,847
Amigos!
838
00:43:16,265 --> 00:43:20,103
I would like to tell you the
tale of two great nations.
839
00:43:20,436 --> 00:43:23,397
One, my humble place of birth.
840
00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:25,650
And one, my new homeland!
841
00:43:27,151 --> 00:43:29,320
Applause, applause, applause.
842
00:43:30,655 --> 00:43:32,865
To tell you this tale,
I will need the help
843
00:43:33,199 --> 00:43:34,408
of two old friends.
844
00:43:36,244 --> 00:43:37,787
These are my friends.
845
00:43:38,788 --> 00:43:39,455
Cue tape.
846
00:43:40,957 --> 00:43:43,000
One is named Chico
847
00:43:43,334 --> 00:43:46,003
and the other's named Joe.
848
00:43:46,337 --> 00:43:48,589
Yes, ladies and
gentlemen, you guessed it.
849
00:43:48,923 --> 00:43:51,300
This is a tale about, of course,
850
00:43:51,634 --> 00:43:54,262
Mexico, and these United States!
851
00:43:56,514 --> 00:43:57,431
Gross.
852
00:43:58,808 --> 00:44:02,186
In the beginning, these two
great neighboring giants
853
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,522
hardly knew each other existed.
854
00:44:04,856 --> 00:44:08,151
But soon, they
discovered each other
855
00:44:08,484 --> 00:44:11,904
and their respect for
each other grew higher.
856
00:44:13,364 --> 00:44:17,243
Last night she gave our
host parents a pinata.
857
00:44:17,577 --> 00:44:19,453
- I'm gonna get her.
858
00:44:19,787 --> 00:44:21,122
- Do you want me to help?
859
00:44:21,455 --> 00:44:21,998
Yeah.
860
00:44:23,374 --> 00:44:27,170
We'll do it as soon as
we're sure we've lost.
861
00:44:27,503 --> 00:44:31,674
Forever by these two
wonderful, marvelous countries.
862
00:44:47,273 --> 00:44:48,566
Excuse me, dear.
863
00:44:48,900 --> 00:44:51,360
I'm going to interrupt
you just for a moment.
864
00:44:51,694 --> 00:44:52,778
Girls, I'd like you to meet
865
00:44:53,112 --> 00:44:57,783
California's reigning Young
American Miss, Jo Ann Marshall.
866
00:44:59,410 --> 00:45:04,248
And these are some of the
former winners and has-beens.
867
00:45:05,499 --> 00:45:06,209
Jo Ann and the girls
are going to be
868
00:45:06,542 --> 00:45:07,251
rehearsing with you today.
869
00:45:07,585 --> 00:45:09,378
Girls, here's our emcee,
870
00:45:10,421 --> 00:45:13,424
the real star of the
show, Ted Farley.
871
00:45:15,593 --> 00:45:17,637
Hi, girls, I'm sorry to hear
about the little problem
872
00:45:17,970 --> 00:45:19,013
you had with the toilets
873
00:45:19,347 --> 00:45:22,266
but as they say in
France, "No wee-wee."
874
00:45:32,485 --> 00:45:33,611
- Keep the motor running.
875
00:45:33,945 --> 00:45:35,404
- I got my motor running.
876
00:45:35,738 --> 00:45:36,280
Jeez.
877
00:45:54,465 --> 00:45:56,175
- Where do you
think you're going?
878
00:45:56,509 --> 00:45:57,760
- I'm looking for my dad.
879
00:45:58,094 --> 00:45:59,887
Your dad's not around here.
880
00:46:00,221 --> 00:46:01,681
Unless he's a teenage girl.
881
00:46:02,014 --> 00:46:03,683
- No, my dad is
Robert Freelander.
882
00:46:04,016 --> 00:46:04,725
- Big Bob?
883
00:46:05,059 --> 00:46:07,144
Yeah, you must be Little Bob.
884
00:46:07,478 --> 00:46:08,145
- Yeah, Little Bob.
885
00:46:08,479 --> 00:46:09,230
- Yeah, right.
886
00:46:09,563 --> 00:46:10,940
Say, what can I do
for you back here?
887
00:46:11,274 --> 00:46:12,191
Well, I was supposed
to meet my father
888
00:46:12,525 --> 00:46:14,026
and I've looked all over.
889
00:46:14,360 --> 00:46:15,653
Now, you know Big Bob.
890
00:46:15,987 --> 00:46:17,530
Everywhere at once.
891
00:46:17,863 --> 00:46:19,448
Tell you what now, nobody's
892
00:46:19,782 --> 00:46:21,117
supposed to be back
here on this path
893
00:46:21,450 --> 00:46:23,786
since you're Little Bob, I
think it'll be all right.
894
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,037
Yeah, thanks.
895
00:46:25,371 --> 00:46:26,414
Tell you what,
why don't you look
896
00:46:26,747 --> 00:46:28,207
down there by those telephones?
897
00:46:28,541 --> 00:46:30,209
I think you'll find
him there. Okay?
898
00:46:30,543 --> 00:46:32,295
- All right, we'll see
you later, little buddy.
899
00:46:32,628 --> 00:46:33,170
- Goodbye.
900
00:46:41,804 --> 00:46:45,725
J' Who's that comin'
down the street
901
00:46:46,058 --> 00:46:49,186
J' Who's that lookin' so petite
902
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:54,317
J' Who's that comin'
down to meet me
903
00:46:55,693 --> 00:46:58,279
J' Who's that you
know who I mean
904
00:46:58,612 --> 00:47:01,574
J' Sweetest who
you've ever seen
905
00:47:01,907 --> 00:47:05,786
J' I can tell her miles
and miles from here
906
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:08,581
J' Oh yes I can
907
00:47:08,914 --> 00:47:11,876
J' Yes, sir that's my baby
908
00:47:12,209 --> 00:47:15,546
J' No, sir I don't mean maybe
909
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:20,634
J' Yes, sir that's my baby now
910
00:47:22,970 --> 00:47:26,182
J' Yes, sir, we've decided
911
00:47:26,515 --> 00:47:29,602
J' No, man we just
can't hide it
912
00:47:29,935 --> 00:47:33,481
J' Yes, sir that's my baby now
913
00:47:35,733 --> 00:47:38,069
(upbeat music)
914
00:47:48,871 --> 00:47:51,248
J' Oh yes, I'm gonna
say my honey
915
00:47:51,582 --> 00:47:54,710
J' Yes, sir that's my baby
916
00:47:55,044 --> 00:47:58,464
J' No, sir I don't mean maybe
917
00:47:58,798 --> 00:48:02,343
J' Yes, sir, that's my baby now
918
00:48:04,595 --> 00:48:05,554
(girls screaming)
919
00:48:05,888 --> 00:48:08,641
Oh. my God! Somebody's
at the window!
920
00:48:10,351 --> 00:48:12,770
J' Who's that coming
down the street
921
00:48:13,104 --> 00:48:16,565
J' Who's that lookin' so petite
922
00:48:16,899 --> 00:48:20,736
J' Who's that comin'
down to meet me
923
00:48:21,070 --> 00:48:22,863
I was looking for my dad.
924
00:48:23,197 --> 00:48:24,573
Big Bob. Good old Big Bob.
925
00:48:24,907 --> 00:48:26,534
I tripped and fell in there.
926
00:48:26,867 --> 00:48:28,536
I wasn't taking any
pictures of the girls.
927
00:48:28,869 --> 00:48:31,580
I swear on my mother's life!
928
00:48:31,914 --> 00:48:33,457
J' Yes, sir that's my baby
929
00:48:33,791 --> 00:48:35,459
J' No, sir I don't mean maybe
930
00:48:35,793 --> 00:48:39,922
J' Yes, sir that's my baby now
931
00:48:40,256 --> 00:48:41,507
J' Yes, man, we've decided
932
00:48:41,841 --> 00:48:43,843
J' No, man, we just
can't hide it
933
00:48:44,176 --> 00:48:45,886
J' Yes, man, you're invited now
934
00:48:46,220 --> 00:48:47,346
J' (frantic music)
935
00:49:46,780 --> 00:49:49,450
(upbeat music)
936
00:50:01,962 --> 00:50:03,547
13,14,15,16,17.
937
00:50:04,757 --> 00:50:06,217
Sorry, it's the lights.
938
00:50:06,550 --> 00:50:07,718
J' Me ol' bam-boo
939
00:50:08,052 --> 00:50:09,136
J' You better never bother
with me ol' bam- boo
940
00:50:09,470 --> 00:50:10,638
J' You can have me hat
or me bumber-shoot
941
00:50:10,971 --> 00:50:15,726
J' But you better never
bother with me ol' bam-boo
942
00:50:21,690 --> 00:50:24,360
(upbeat music)
943
00:50:36,539 --> 00:50:37,623
She's fine!
944
00:50:37,957 --> 00:50:40,167
Easy, easy. Hold her carefully.
945
00:50:41,585 --> 00:50:42,545
Stand back, kids.
Give her some air!
946
00:50:42,878 --> 00:50:43,796
You're all right. She's fine.
947
00:50:44,129 --> 00:50:45,422
- Now give her some air.
948
00:50:45,756 --> 00:50:46,799
- She's fine.
Everything is fine.
949
00:50:47,132 --> 00:50:47,967
She'll be all right.
950
00:50:48,300 --> 00:50:49,218
- Who is that?
951
00:50:50,386 --> 00:50:52,429
- Maureen somebody.
952
00:50:52,763 --> 00:50:53,681
What happened?
953
00:50:55,057 --> 00:50:58,310
One of the girls fainted.
She'll be all right.
954
00:50:58,644 --> 00:50:59,603
Did she trip?
955
00:50:59,937 --> 00:51:00,896
Trip over a nail or something
we could be sued for?
956
00:51:01,230 --> 00:51:04,775
No, and I'll tell her
how concerned you were.
957
00:51:05,109 --> 00:51:06,569
- Jesus Christ, she
scared me half to death.
958
00:51:06,902 --> 00:51:08,404
- I almost fainted.
959
00:51:08,737 --> 00:51:11,198
Well, it is one
less competition.
960
00:51:13,117 --> 00:51:15,786
God, I'm really
sorry I said that.
961
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:17,621
- I have an awful
confession to make.
962
00:51:17,955 --> 00:51:18,664
- Yeah?
963
00:51:18,998 --> 00:51:20,291
You know when Maureen fainted?
964
00:51:20,624 --> 00:51:23,002
The same thing crossed my mind.
965
00:51:23,335 --> 00:51:25,004
- It's getting weird.
966
00:51:25,337 --> 00:51:25,879
" Judy!
967
00:51:37,016 --> 00:51:39,852
Has anybody seen
my butter churn?
968
00:51:44,356 --> 00:51:46,358
Now listen. Just listen.
969
00:51:46,692 --> 00:51:49,320
In about two minutes,
you'll go out there
970
00:51:49,653 --> 00:51:51,780
and be professional dancers.
971
00:51:52,114 --> 00:51:54,950
Yourjob is to make
the audience happy.
972
00:51:55,284 --> 00:51:56,493
I know that a lot
of you are scared
973
00:51:56,827 --> 00:51:57,995
and don't think you can do it.
974
00:51:58,329 --> 00:51:59,872
But I've been watching
you all very carefully,
975
00:52:00,205 --> 00:52:02,207
and I know that you can.
976
00:52:02,541 --> 00:52:04,627
Now I'd like you to think
about a 17-year-old kid
977
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,920
who came to me when
I was staging dances
978
00:52:07,254 --> 00:52:09,340
for the Mike Curb Congregation.
979
00:52:09,673 --> 00:52:11,050
She hadn't had a
bit of experience
980
00:52:11,383 --> 00:52:15,554
but she wanted to try so bad
that we just had to let her.
981
00:52:15,888 --> 00:52:17,556
That was four years ago
982
00:52:19,016 --> 00:52:22,645
and now that girl is one of
the Mike Curb lead dancers.
983
00:52:22,978 --> 00:52:24,980
Now, that may not seem
like much to you ladies
984
00:52:25,314 --> 00:52:27,941
but that girl has a wooden foot.
985
00:52:31,028 --> 00:52:34,948
Now go out there and dance
with your two good feet.
986
00:52:38,827 --> 00:52:40,788
That was really a
beautiful story.
987
00:52:41,121 --> 00:52:44,458
Listen, I have a syndicated
radio show heard in four states.
988
00:52:44,792 --> 00:52:47,711
I'm always looking for
inspirational youth stories.
989
00:52:48,045 --> 00:52:49,129
- Do you mind if I use that?
990
00:52:49,463 --> 00:52:50,464
- Be my guest.
991
00:52:50,798 --> 00:52:52,508
But it's total bullshit.
992
00:52:55,094 --> 00:52:56,136
- Hello!
993
00:52:56,470 --> 00:52:57,137
- Hello!
994
00:52:57,471 --> 00:52:58,764
Who says hello?
995
00:52:59,098 --> 00:52:59,807
Young America!
996
00:53:00,933 --> 00:53:01,892
- Are you all here?
997
00:53:02,226 --> 00:53:04,061
- Yes, we're all here!
998
00:53:04,395 --> 00:53:06,897
(upbeat music)
999
00:53:11,151 --> 00:53:13,862
J' Ready to start out,
singing our hearts out
1000
00:53:14,196 --> 00:53:16,699
J' We can see a bright tomorrow
1001
00:53:17,032 --> 00:53:19,618
J' Built by youth you see today
1002
00:53:19,952 --> 00:53:22,705
J' We have faith, we have hope
1003
00:53:23,038 --> 00:53:25,749
J' We can see a brighter day
1004
00:53:26,083 --> 00:53:27,334
J' We're here to sing
1005
00:53:27,668 --> 00:53:28,877
J' We're here to dance
1006
00:53:29,211 --> 00:53:31,880
J' Everyone's here
with an equal chance
1007
00:53:32,214 --> 00:53:35,718
J' To be crowned a
Young American
1008
00:53:36,051 --> 00:53:40,806
J' Young American Miss
1009
00:53:42,725 --> 00:53:43,767
J' Pick your favorite
and sing along
1010
00:53:44,101 --> 00:53:45,352
J' Tap your feet
and sing our song
1011
00:53:45,686 --> 00:53:48,272
J' We can see a bright tomorrow
1012
00:53:48,605 --> 00:53:51,150
J' Built by youth you see today
1013
00:53:51,483 --> 00:53:56,280
J' We have faith, we have hope
1014
00:53:58,157 --> 00:54:01,744
J' We can see a brighter day
1015
00:54:07,499 --> 00:54:08,459
Take it away!
1016
00:54:11,503 --> 00:54:14,631
(audience applauding)
1017
00:54:22,514 --> 00:54:26,268
Hi, I'm Jo Ann Marshall,
California's Young American Miss.
1018
00:54:26,602 --> 00:54:27,644
And I'd like to welcome you
1019
00:54:27,978 --> 00:54:29,646
to tonight's first
preliminary show
1020
00:54:29,980 --> 00:54:31,732
and invite you back
for tomorrow's show.
1021
00:54:32,065 --> 00:54:35,235
And the really big
show, Saturday night.
1022
00:54:38,489 --> 00:54:40,866
(upbeat music)
1023
00:54:59,134 --> 00:55:02,763
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight!
1024
00:55:03,096 --> 00:55:04,348
J' Me ol' bam-boo
1025
00:55:04,681 --> 00:55:06,225
J' You better never bother
with me ol' ham-boo
1026
00:55:06,558 --> 00:55:07,893
J' You can have me hat
or me bumber-shoot
1027
00:55:08,227 --> 00:55:10,854
J' But you better never
bother with me ol' bam-boo
1028
00:55:11,188 --> 00:55:13,899
(audience applauding)
1029
00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:19,488
You know something?
1030
00:55:19,822 --> 00:55:21,615
You did a hell of a job.
1031
00:55:23,116 --> 00:55:24,493
Took a bunch of nice
high-school kids,
1032
00:55:24,827 --> 00:55:27,663
and turned them into
Vegas showgirls.
1033
00:55:30,207 --> 00:55:32,751
On each of these preliminary
nights, we feature and judge
1034
00:55:33,085 --> 00:55:36,004
the creative talents of the
girls from one color group.
1035
00:55:36,338 --> 00:55:38,006
Tonight, settle back,
relax, and enjoy
1036
00:55:38,340 --> 00:55:40,384
the creative talents
of the peach group.
1037
00:55:40,717 --> 00:55:43,053
This could mean
3O points to them.
1038
00:55:43,387 --> 00:55:45,305
Doria has written and
will deliver an essay
1039
00:55:45,639 --> 00:55:47,432
based on personal experience.
1040
00:55:47,766 --> 00:55:52,312
Here she is, Anaheim's Young
American Miss, Doria Houston.
1041
00:55:54,773 --> 00:55:55,649
Beauty, yes.
1042
00:55:57,192 --> 00:56:01,405
Curly hair, floppy hat,
glittery dresses, they were in,
1043
00:56:04,658 --> 00:56:06,910
so I have them all.
1044
00:56:07,244 --> 00:56:11,540
But one day, on my mad dash
to the cosmetics counter
1045
00:56:11,874 --> 00:56:14,668
I stumbled by chance
into a library.
1046
00:56:21,717 --> 00:56:24,011
"To thine own self be true."
1047
00:56:25,262 --> 00:56:27,180
At last I had found a beauty aid
1048
00:56:27,514 --> 00:56:29,808
that didn't come in a bottle:
1049
00:56:30,934 --> 00:56:31,727
Simplicity.
1050
00:56:33,854 --> 00:56:37,190
I learned that one
single solid gold strand
1051
00:56:38,817 --> 00:56:43,113
could be more beautiful
than all my costume jewelry.
1052
00:57:32,287 --> 00:57:36,124
Off came the silly shoes,
the hat, all that glittered.
1053
00:57:36,458 --> 00:57:40,128
Soon with shiny nonsense
my floor was littered.
1054
00:57:41,088 --> 00:57:43,048
If you wanna be a real cutie,
1055
00:57:43,382 --> 00:57:45,592
always strive for inner beauty.
1056
00:57:50,555 --> 00:57:54,518
'Consider the lilies of
the field, how they grow.
1057
00:57:55,727 --> 00:57:58,146
They work not, they toil not.
1058
00:58:01,233 --> 00:58:05,946
Yet I say unto you that even
Solomon in all his glory
1059
00:58:06,279 --> 00:58:08,740
was not so beautiful as these."
1060
00:58:11,284 --> 00:58:14,371
(audience applauding)
1061
00:58:17,290 --> 00:58:18,250
Thank you.
1062
00:58:19,292 --> 00:58:20,544
And now, a double treat.
1063
00:58:20,877 --> 00:58:23,964
Healdsburg's Young American
Miss, Bobbi Erickson
1064
00:58:24,297 --> 00:58:27,384
will play the ever popular
and thrilling Ebb Tide
1065
00:58:27,718 --> 00:58:29,094
and simultaneously she will
1066
00:58:29,428 --> 00:58:32,597
at the same time
exhibit her paintings.
1067
00:58:32,931 --> 00:58:35,183
Afeast for both eyes and ears.
1068
00:58:37,728 --> 00:58:40,147
(gentle music)
1069
00:59:02,544 --> 00:59:05,172
(upbeat music)
1070
00:59:20,353 --> 00:59:24,649
J' Delta Dawn, what's
that flower you have on
1071
00:59:24,983 --> 00:59:29,738
J' Could it be a faded
rose from days gone by
1072
00:59:31,239 --> 00:59:34,785
IAnd did I hear you say he
was meeting you here today
1073
00:59:35,118 --> 00:59:39,456
J' To take you to his
mansion in the sky
1074
00:59:56,515 --> 01:00:01,394
J' You were meant for me
1075
01:00:02,604 --> 01:00:07,484
J' I was meant for you
1076
01:00:08,902 --> 01:00:10,904
J' Nature patterned you
1077
01:00:11,238 --> 01:00:13,281
IAnd when she was done
1078
01:00:13,615 --> 01:00:16,952
J' You were all
the sweet things
1079
01:00:17,285 --> 01:00:19,955
J' Rolled up in one
1080
01:00:21,498 --> 01:00:23,875
(gentle music)
1081
01:00:50,443 --> 01:00:52,195
Rotting maggots of death
1082
01:00:52,529 --> 01:00:55,198
crawling out of
the skull of war.
1083
01:00:56,992 --> 01:01:00,745
Vomit and blood run freely
over the battlefield.
1084
01:01:03,623 --> 01:01:06,877
(audience applauding)
1085
01:01:11,464 --> 01:01:13,049
Even in the Young
American Miss's concern
1086
01:01:13,383 --> 01:01:14,718
of her own personal appearance
1087
01:01:15,051 --> 01:01:16,219
and the way she conducts herself
1088
01:01:16,553 --> 01:01:18,847
gives to others the feeling
that she cares for them.
1089
01:01:19,181 --> 01:01:20,307
And she does.
1090
01:01:20,640 --> 01:01:22,184
We share with her this
concern for the individual
1091
01:01:22,517 --> 01:01:27,022
as she participates now in
the Gown and Grace Division.
1092
01:02:04,267 --> 01:02:06,311
- Where are you going?
1093
01:02:06,645 --> 01:02:07,312
- Oh, Mr. French.
1094
01:02:07,646 --> 01:02:08,313
Quit bawling, Robin.
1095
01:02:08,647 --> 01:02:09,522
You just had a lucky break.
1096
01:02:09,856 --> 01:02:10,607
Now they'll notice you.
1097
01:02:10,941 --> 01:02:13,109
So go out there, and use it.
1098
01:02:16,529 --> 01:02:19,824
Hi. I'm Helga Kleinsmidth,
Vacaville's Young American Miss
1099
01:02:20,158 --> 01:02:22,410
and I think it's fun
to have pillow fights
1100
01:02:22,744 --> 01:02:25,705
on Sunday morning before
church with my folks.
1101
01:02:26,039 --> 01:02:29,000
(audience applauding)
1102
01:02:32,545 --> 01:02:33,672
Buenas noches.
1103
01:02:34,005 --> 01:02:37,342
I am Maria Gonzales and I think
it is fun to live in a land
1104
01:02:37,676 --> 01:02:40,053
of equal opportunity
for all its citizens
1105
01:02:40,387 --> 01:02:43,139
regardless of race,
creed, or color.
1106
01:02:44,516 --> 01:02:47,352
(audience applauding)
1107
01:02:52,399 --> 01:02:55,402
Hi, I'm Robin Gibson, Antelope
Valley's Young American Miss
1108
01:02:55,735 --> 01:02:59,823
and I think it's embarrassing
to have your umbrella break.
1109
01:03:00,156 --> 01:03:02,534
(audience applauding)
1110
01:03:02,867 --> 01:03:04,035
They learn fast.
1111
01:03:10,000 --> 01:03:14,462
Our fourth judge is a former
Young American Miss from 1966
1112
01:03:14,796 --> 01:03:16,131
Miss Gloria Randall.
1113
01:03:21,761 --> 01:03:26,391
Didn't I tell you, folks, the
girls get prettier every year?
1114
01:03:26,725 --> 01:03:28,476
And again this year,
holding the envelopes
1115
01:03:28,810 --> 01:03:30,228
with the names of
tonight's winners
1116
01:03:30,562 --> 01:03:33,940
our Dean ofjudges and a
winner in his own right,
1117
01:03:34,274 --> 01:03:35,567
Big Bob Freelander.
1118
01:03:35,900 --> 01:03:36,776
Big Bob, hey!
1119
01:03:40,697 --> 01:03:42,032
Welcome, folks!
1120
01:03:42,365 --> 01:03:43,950
I know you came to
see a whale of a show,
1121
01:03:44,284 --> 01:03:46,703
and a whale of a show it is.
1122
01:03:47,037 --> 01:03:48,788
How does Santa Rosa
feel about that?
1123
01:03:49,122 --> 01:03:53,793
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
1124
01:03:54,127 --> 01:03:55,628
But you know, folks
1125
01:03:55,962 --> 01:04:00,258
to these talented and
lovely high-school girls
1126
01:04:00,592 --> 01:04:02,927
from all over this
great state of ours,
1127
01:04:03,261 --> 01:04:05,805
this is a lot more
than just another show.
1128
01:04:06,139 --> 01:04:08,767
Tonight, for them,
is the big one.
1129
01:04:09,100 --> 01:04:11,603
Of course, this is just
a preliminary night.
1130
01:04:11,936 --> 01:04:13,855
Tickets are still on sale
for the next two nights-
1131
01:04:14,189 --> 01:04:17,484
Right, three nights in all.
Four winners each night.
1132
01:04:17,817 --> 01:04:18,985
Lots of winners.
1133
01:04:22,739 --> 01:04:24,699
J' Well east coast
girls are hip
1134
01:04:25,033 --> 01:04:29,788
J' I really dig those
styles they wear
1135
01:04:31,164 --> 01:04:33,500
IAnd southern girls
with the way they talk
1136
01:04:33,833 --> 01:04:38,546
J' They knock me out out
when I'm down there
1137
01:04:38,880 --> 01:04:41,466
J' The midwest
farmer's daughters
1138
01:04:41,800 --> 01:04:46,388
J' Really make you
feel all right
1139
01:04:46,721 --> 01:04:50,016
IAnd the northern girls
with the way they kiss
1140
01:04:50,350 --> 01:04:55,105
J' They keep their
boyfriends warm at night
1141
01:04:55,730 --> 01:04:57,941
(upbeat music)
1142
01:04:58,274 --> 01:05:02,404
J' I wish they all could
be California Girls
1143
01:05:24,968 --> 01:05:28,388
Doria, you know the
judges were dumb, anyway.
1144
01:05:28,721 --> 01:05:31,224
You were much better
than that girl that won.
1145
01:05:31,558 --> 01:05:34,477
You don't have to cheer
me up anymore, Robin.
1146
01:05:34,811 --> 01:05:38,231
What the hell, now that I
know I'm not winning anything.
1147
01:05:38,565 --> 01:05:39,315
I can smoke.
1148
01:05:43,528 --> 01:05:46,030
I thought we weren't supposed
to smoke around the girls.
1149
01:05:46,364 --> 01:05:47,740
That's what the committee said.
1150
01:05:48,074 --> 01:05:49,784
If she can smoke, I can smoke.
1151
01:05:50,118 --> 01:05:52,245
They told us a lot ofgirls
didn't win the preliminaries
1152
01:05:52,579 --> 01:05:53,913
they went on to win the contest.
1153
01:05:54,247 --> 01:05:55,707
I mean, talent's
only part of it.
1154
01:05:56,040 --> 01:05:57,500
Forget it, Robin.
1155
01:05:57,834 --> 01:05:59,502
Talent was my ace in the hole.
1156
01:05:59,836 --> 01:06:00,503
If they don't like me
taking off my clothes,
1157
01:06:00,837 --> 01:06:02,505
they're gonna hate my grades.
1158
01:06:02,839 --> 01:06:05,467
You shouldn't be so sure
you're not gonna win.
1159
01:06:05,800 --> 01:06:07,552
I don't mind it.
1160
01:06:07,886 --> 01:06:12,599
I did at first, now it's
kind of a relief, you know.
1161
01:06:12,932 --> 01:06:16,352
Besides, now I can pass all
my little tricks on to you.
1162
01:06:16,686 --> 01:06:17,437
Tricks?
1163
01:06:17,770 --> 01:06:18,980
Yeah, I guess I
should have before,
1164
01:06:19,314 --> 01:06:20,732
but we were in competition.
1165
01:06:21,065 --> 01:06:22,650
What kind of tricks?
1166
01:06:24,819 --> 01:06:27,447
Little things I
know that you don't.
1167
01:06:27,780 --> 01:06:28,865
Like what?
1168
01:06:29,199 --> 01:06:31,284
Like tonight, for instance.
1169
01:06:32,702 --> 01:06:35,205
You didn'tjump up and down
enough when Miss Woodland won.
1170
01:06:35,538 --> 01:06:38,458
And you didn't even cry
when you won yourself.
1171
01:06:38,791 --> 01:06:40,001
Is that bad?
1172
01:06:40,335 --> 01:06:44,672
It sure is. Beauty contest
judges like their emotions big.
1173
01:06:45,006 --> 01:06:46,591
And you don't smile enough.
1174
01:06:46,925 --> 01:06:49,010
My God, I've smiled so
much my gums are raw.
1175
01:06:49,344 --> 01:06:52,639
Put some Vaseline on your teeth.
1176
01:06:52,972 --> 01:06:54,140
It helps your lips
glide over them.
1177
01:06:54,474 --> 01:06:55,141
- You're kidding me.
1178
01:06:55,475 --> 01:06:56,684
No. All the girls do it.
1179
01:06:57,018 --> 01:06:59,604
Ancl Maria Gonzales puts enough
on to grease a flagpole.
1180
01:06:59,938 --> 01:07:00,563
" No!
1181
01:07:00,897 --> 01:07:01,564
- Yes.
1182
01:07:01,898 --> 01:07:03,525
Get some pantyhose.
1183
01:07:03,858 --> 01:07:07,153
Bare legs are kind of
splotchy under the spotlights.
1184
01:07:07,487 --> 01:07:09,239
- Doria, I'm not
gonna do all that.
1185
01:07:09,572 --> 01:07:11,407
- You're crazy not to.
1186
01:07:11,741 --> 01:07:13,159
You have a real chance
of winning the money.
1187
01:07:13,493 --> 01:07:14,410
- Get off it.
1188
01:07:14,744 --> 01:07:15,537
- Robin, you do.
1189
01:07:15,870 --> 01:07:17,497
Look, you've already won
Vim and Vigor, right?
1190
01:07:17,830 --> 01:07:20,250
You have great grades
and you play the flute,
1191
01:07:20,583 --> 01:07:21,501
which is a classy talent.
1192
01:07:21,834 --> 01:07:24,337
If you'd just keep
smiling, you can win.
1193
01:07:24,671 --> 01:07:25,672
And it wouldn't hurt to mention
1194
01:07:26,005 --> 01:07:29,008
once in a while that
you have no father.
1195
01:07:29,342 --> 01:07:31,803
Was that a terrible
thing to say?
1196
01:07:32,762 --> 01:07:33,721
No.
1197
01:07:34,722 --> 01:07:35,765
It's just that they
keep telling us
1198
01:07:36,099 --> 01:07:38,726
this thing isn't a competition.
1199
01:07:39,060 --> 01:07:40,270
It's a competition.
1200
01:07:45,275 --> 01:07:47,902
I still don't understand
how you could do this to me.
1201
01:07:48,236 --> 01:07:49,988
Dad, I wasn't doing
anything to you.
1202
01:07:50,321 --> 01:07:53,324
You hurt the pageant, hurt me.
1203
01:07:53,658 --> 01:07:54,742
Seven years without a scandal,
1204
01:07:55,076 --> 01:07:57,161
and HOW my OWH SOH causes 0H6.
1205
01:07:57,495 --> 01:07:59,539
- What am I supposed
to say to people?
1206
01:07:59,872 --> 01:08:00,957
- Tell them I'm adopted.
1207
01:08:01,291 --> 01:08:02,959
Robert Freelander, Jr.,
you have a sassy mouth.
1208
01:08:03,293 --> 01:08:05,628
You should be a little
humble after what you did.
1209
01:08:05,962 --> 01:08:07,839
Now wipe that off.
1210
01:08:08,172 --> 01:08:09,716
I don't see why I have
to see a psychiatrist.
1211
01:08:10,049 --> 01:08:12,302
Do you want to go to jail?
That's the big alternative.
1212
01:08:12,635 --> 01:08:13,303
Come on, we'll go to jail.
1213
01:08:13,636 --> 01:08:14,679
- Do you want to go to jail?
1214
01:08:15,013 --> 01:08:15,597
- No.
1215
01:08:16,889 --> 01:08:18,224
- And you're gonna
go in here now?
1216
01:08:18,558 --> 01:08:19,475
- Yes.
1217
01:08:19,809 --> 01:08:20,560
Take your hands
out of your pocket.
1218
01:08:20,893 --> 01:08:24,272
You're very lucky
you're my son, you know.
1219
01:08:26,566 --> 01:08:30,945
If this doctor thinks I'm crazy,
wait till he meets Freddy.
1220
01:08:31,279 --> 01:08:33,906
Dr. Kelly. Code Blue, five east.
1221
01:08:45,251 --> 01:08:46,044
Here it is.
1222
01:08:50,423 --> 01:08:51,257
- Mrs. Chambers-
1223
01:08:51,591 --> 01:08:53,843
- It's my fault. I feel guilty.
1224
01:08:55,136 --> 01:08:56,220
Hi, Doctor.
1225
01:08:56,554 --> 01:08:58,097
Your appointment will
be in a few moments.
1226
01:08:58,431 --> 01:09:00,016
Would you mind, please?
1227
01:09:27,960 --> 01:09:29,754
I must admit I'm
really not too sold
1228
01:09:30,088 --> 01:09:32,507
on this psychiatry stuff myself.
1229
01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:36,719
Seems like an awful lot
of self-pity in it to me.
1230
01:09:39,931 --> 01:09:41,641
You may come in now.
1231
01:09:45,103 --> 01:09:45,895
- Please have a chair.
1232
01:09:46,229 --> 01:09:46,938
- Where's Mrs. Chambers?
1233
01:09:47,271 --> 01:09:47,814
She left.
1234
01:09:50,692 --> 01:09:51,943
Oh, two entrances.
1235
01:09:54,362 --> 01:09:56,447
Make yourself comfortable.
1236
01:09:59,867 --> 01:10:02,370
Now, you're Robert Freelander.
1237
01:10:02,704 --> 01:10:04,539
No, we're both
Robert Freelander.
1238
01:10:04,872 --> 01:10:06,207
Big Bob. Little Bob.
1239
01:10:07,875 --> 01:10:10,712
How long have you called
your son Little Bob?
1240
01:10:11,045 --> 01:10:13,423
Why, ever since he was little.
1241
01:10:24,475 --> 01:10:26,060
Actually, I'd hoped
to meet both parents
1242
01:10:26,394 --> 01:10:29,063
at the initial consultation.
1243
01:10:29,397 --> 01:10:31,774
Mrs. Freelander is
ill. She's got the flu.
1244
01:10:32,108 --> 01:10:34,861
She got it the minute
I got in trouble.
1245
01:10:35,194 --> 01:10:36,863
Does your mother get sick often?
1246
01:10:37,196 --> 01:10:38,531
Doctor, we're not here
to discuss my wife.
1247
01:10:38,865 --> 01:10:41,117
Your wife is this boy's mother.
1248
01:10:41,451 --> 01:10:42,535
In order to discuss
his problems-
1249
01:10:42,869 --> 01:10:43,911
What are you guys always trying
1250
01:10:44,245 --> 01:10:46,914
to pin everything on
a guy's mother for?
1251
01:10:48,916 --> 01:10:51,961
Mr. Freelander, are
you angry with me?
1252
01:10:54,714 --> 01:10:56,674
No, I'm not angry at you.
1253
01:10:59,635 --> 01:11:02,346
Of course I'm not angry at you.
1254
01:11:02,680 --> 01:11:04,932
I'm just trying to help Little.
1255
01:11:08,186 --> 01:11:11,856
You and I are both here
trying to help my son.
1256
01:11:23,242 --> 01:11:26,454
We could begin the consultations
alone with the boy.
1257
01:11:26,788 --> 01:11:30,416
And then you and your
wife could join us later.
1258
01:11:34,462 --> 01:11:39,342
No, I'd like to see Little
Bob through this thing myself.
1259
01:11:40,134 --> 01:11:41,177
It'd be okay, Dad.
1260
01:11:48,142 --> 01:11:49,310
It is pageant week.
1261
01:11:49,644 --> 01:11:51,771
Unbelievable amounts
of work down there.
1262
01:11:52,104 --> 01:11:53,606
No rest for the weary.
1263
01:11:55,358 --> 01:11:56,275
I understand.
1264
01:11:57,944 --> 01:12:02,365
Well, you run on, and we'll see
you in a couple of sessions.
1265
01:12:03,115 --> 01:12:03,991
That'd bejust super.
1266
01:12:04,325 --> 01:12:05,284
How about you, son?
1267
01:12:05,618 --> 01:12:06,118
You gonna be able to get
to school on your own,
1268
01:12:06,452 --> 01:12:07,829
are you then?
1269
01:12:08,162 --> 01:12:10,164
- I do it every day.
1270
01:12:10,498 --> 01:12:11,874
- Right.
1271
01:12:12,208 --> 01:12:13,876
Independent little guy.
1272
01:12:16,379 --> 01:12:17,755
Nice to meet you.
1273
01:12:19,006 --> 01:12:20,550
Son, you pay attention
to this man now.
1274
01:12:20,883 --> 01:12:21,968
He is a doctor.
1275
01:12:33,271 --> 01:12:35,648
Hi, Blanche. How about some
coffee and a glazed doughnut?
1276
01:12:35,982 --> 01:12:39,151
And don't charge me
for the hole, Blanche.
1277
01:12:40,403 --> 01:12:43,030
They told me at the
shop that you'd be here.
1278
01:12:43,364 --> 01:12:44,574
- Having a second
breakfast there?
1279
01:12:44,907 --> 01:12:45,449
- First.
1280
01:12:46,993 --> 01:12:47,994
I just wanted to make
sure you were coming
1281
01:12:48,327 --> 01:12:52,123
to the Exhausted Rooster
Ceremony tonight.
1282
01:12:52,456 --> 01:12:53,541
I don't think so, Bob.
1283
01:12:53,875 --> 01:12:54,834
Come on, Andy.
1284
01:12:55,167 --> 01:12:56,002
The guys are really
counting on you.
1285
01:12:56,335 --> 01:12:58,963
Look, I told you
I just don't feel.
1286
01:12:59,297 --> 01:13:01,674
Thank you, my dear.
Quick as ever.
1287
01:13:05,469 --> 01:13:06,929
Look, I told you I
just don't feel like
1288
01:13:07,263 --> 01:13:08,848
kissing a dead chicken's ass.
1289
01:13:09,181 --> 01:13:12,143
Come on, Andy. It's
a snap. Like that.
1290
01:13:13,394 --> 01:13:15,479
Besides, I'm an Exalted
Exhausted Rooster.
1291
01:13:15,813 --> 01:13:19,025
I'll be standing right next
to you with my sheet on.
1292
01:13:19,358 --> 01:13:20,693
There's nothing to it.
1293
01:13:21,027 --> 01:13:21,944
You're looking at
a man who's seen
1294
01:13:22,278 --> 01:13:25,448
as many chickens' asses
as another chicken.
1295
01:13:27,408 --> 01:13:28,701
How about a bib?
1296
01:13:30,119 --> 01:13:32,663
Besides, I shouldn't have to
remind an old guzzler like you
1297
01:13:32,997 --> 01:13:36,751
of the amounts of old
boozzola that'll be there.
1298
01:13:39,503 --> 01:13:41,881
I'm getting a reputation
for being a drunk, aren't I?
1299
01:13:42,214 --> 01:13:43,424
- No, you certainly are not.
1300
01:13:43,758 --> 01:13:44,425
- It's true.
1301
01:13:44,759 --> 01:13:45,426
- No, it's not true.
1302
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:46,510
- It's true.
1303
01:13:48,429 --> 01:13:53,309
First I was drinking a little,
then I was drinking a lot.
1304
01:13:54,268 --> 01:13:57,021
Damn, it sure sneaks up on you.
1305
01:13:57,355 --> 01:13:59,315
I just sort of slid into it.
1306
01:13:59,649 --> 01:14:03,402
That's one thing I'm
awful good at. Sliding.
1307
01:14:03,736 --> 01:14:06,113
I'm having problems with Brenda.
1308
01:14:07,865 --> 01:14:09,200
Sexual problems.
1309
01:14:10,159 --> 01:14:12,495
No, thank you, dear. We're fine.
1310
01:14:12,828 --> 01:14:14,330
Just fine, thank you.
1311
01:14:17,124 --> 01:14:18,292
You're not having any problems.
1312
01:14:18,626 --> 01:14:19,460
She's frigid.
1313
01:14:22,213 --> 01:14:25,299
That's why I started drinking.
1314
01:14:25,633 --> 01:14:27,259
She says it's my fault.
1315
01:14:32,431 --> 01:14:35,393
She says my drinking
turned her off.
1316
01:14:35,726 --> 01:14:36,644
I've been drinking so much,
1317
01:14:36,978 --> 01:14:38,104
I don't know what
the truth is anymore.
1318
01:14:38,437 --> 01:14:41,273
Then it doesn't matter one
whole hell of a lot, does it?
1319
01:14:41,607 --> 01:14:43,901
You're gonna have to
start pulling yourself
1320
01:14:44,235 --> 01:14:46,070
together and quit
moping around, here.
1321
01:14:46,404 --> 01:14:47,613
Seriously, you got
to get out there
1322
01:14:47,947 --> 01:14:49,782
and start having some fun.
1323
01:14:50,116 --> 01:14:51,117
You can get headaches
1324
01:14:51,450 --> 01:14:52,159
sitting around here
trying to figure out
1325
01:14:52,493 --> 01:14:55,705
which came first: the
chicken or the egg.
1326
01:14:57,873 --> 01:14:59,500
Speaking of chickens,
1327
01:15:01,127 --> 01:15:03,421
I know a place where we
can have, this very night,
1328
01:15:03,754 --> 01:15:04,755
some real fun.
1329
01:15:09,385 --> 01:15:12,179
All right, I'll go
to the ceremony.
1330
01:15:14,265 --> 01:15:14,932
Swell.
1331
01:15:16,225 --> 01:15:18,310
You sure are one
hell of a salesman.
1332
01:15:18,644 --> 01:15:19,437
I better be.
1333
01:15:24,692 --> 01:15:27,403
I heard about Little Bob. I
really am sorry about that.
1334
01:15:27,737 --> 01:15:29,071
Those things happen.
1335
01:15:30,656 --> 01:15:31,741
We'll have Little Bob
straightened out in no time
1336
01:15:32,074 --> 01:15:34,076
and right back on
the right track.
1337
01:15:34,410 --> 01:15:36,495
Doesn't anything
ever get you down?
1338
01:15:36,829 --> 01:15:40,041
Yeah, I get my apple
cart upset sometimes.
1339
01:15:40,374 --> 01:15:41,792
Ijust learned a long time ago
1340
01:15:42,126 --> 01:15:45,671
to accept a little less
from life, that's all.
1341
01:15:50,092 --> 01:15:53,846
Want to know who taught me
this great lesson in life?
1342
01:15:54,180 --> 01:15:55,431
Elizabeth Taylor.
1343
01:15:55,765 --> 01:15:56,307
What?
1344
01:15:57,933 --> 01:15:59,560
I never bothered to
tell you the story
1345
01:15:59,894 --> 01:16:02,104
because I don't believe
in negative stories
1346
01:16:02,438 --> 01:16:06,776
but one time I actually had
a date with old Liz herself.
1347
01:16:08,194 --> 01:16:09,111
You're kidding.
1348
01:16:11,655 --> 01:16:12,740
Do you remember when I went off
1349
01:16:13,074 --> 01:16:15,993
to junior college
in Los Angeles?
1350
01:16:16,327 --> 01:16:18,829
I had a class with a guy
that was Liz Taylor's cousin.
1351
01:16:19,163 --> 01:16:20,915
He fixed me up with her.
1352
01:16:21,248 --> 01:16:22,666
- What was she like?
1353
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:24,752
- I never met her.
1354
01:16:25,086 --> 01:16:26,087
- You just said-
1355
01:16:26,420 --> 01:16:28,339
- No, ljust said that
I had a date with her.
1356
01:16:28,672 --> 01:16:31,092
I never said that she kept it.
1357
01:16:33,969 --> 01:16:36,597
You should've seen all
the preparations I made.
1358
01:16:36,931 --> 01:16:39,016
I went out and got the best
flowers that I could find
1359
01:16:39,350 --> 01:16:41,185
and a great table
at the world-famous
1360
01:16:41,519 --> 01:16:43,479
Cocoanut Grove restaurant.
1361
01:16:45,189 --> 01:16:47,942
And then she never showed up.
1362
01:16:48,275 --> 01:16:49,485
That was the weekend
that she ran off
1363
01:16:49,819 --> 01:16:51,779
and married the hotel guy.
1364
01:16:52,905 --> 01:16:54,281
I'm sorry.
1365
01:16:54,615 --> 01:16:56,450
You don't have to be sorry.
1366
01:16:56,784 --> 01:16:58,369
Just that now I'm
married to Roberta,
1367
01:16:58,702 --> 01:17:00,287
and I'm happy about it.
1368
01:17:03,165 --> 01:17:07,503
Even though she is a little
less than Elizabeth Taylor.
1369
01:17:13,134 --> 01:17:16,053
God, Elizabeth
Taylor was beautiful.
1370
01:17:18,180 --> 01:17:20,641
And that girl had a wooden foot.
1371
01:17:22,893 --> 01:17:26,522
And now, as we begin the Creative
Talent Division on this,
1372
01:17:26,856 --> 01:17:28,065
the Final Preliminary night
1373
01:17:28,399 --> 01:17:30,693
before the Final Big
Show, tomorrow night
1374
01:17:31,026 --> 01:17:33,988
when, at last, our new
California Young American Miss
1375
01:17:34,321 --> 01:17:37,283
will finally be chosen
right here on this stage
1376
01:17:37,616 --> 01:17:41,120
in a burst of tears
and laughter and glory.
1377
01:17:43,914 --> 01:17:46,792
But first, l'djust
like to say a word
1378
01:17:47,126 --> 01:17:51,255
about how these girls have
affected me, personally.
1379
01:17:52,548 --> 01:17:53,716
Not Ted Farley, the
smooth entertainer
1380
01:17:54,049 --> 01:17:57,178
that you see here before
you, but Ted Farley, the man.
1381
01:17:57,511 --> 01:17:58,971
- Maria, could you
hook this, please?
1382
01:17:59,305 --> 01:18:00,264
- I'm on in a second.
1383
01:18:00,598 --> 01:18:01,515
- It's the top one.
1384
01:18:01,849 --> 01:18:03,142
- Here, let me do it for you.
1385
01:18:03,475 --> 01:18:04,894
Not only to me, but to everybody
1386
01:18:05,227 --> 01:18:06,187
who has participated
in the pageant.
1387
01:18:06,520 --> 01:18:08,314
Even Ray Brandy and all
the guys in the band.
1388
01:18:08,647 --> 01:18:09,773
The lack of competitiveness
1389
01:18:10,107 --> 01:18:12,151
and the genuine
desire of each girl.
1390
01:18:12,484 --> 01:18:14,028
I do this. It's fine, I
started it. It's okay.
1391
01:18:14,361 --> 01:18:15,196
Just another example
of what makes
1392
01:18:15,529 --> 01:18:18,157
America the place I'm
proud to be a part of.
1393
01:18:18,490 --> 01:18:19,408
IAba daba daba daba
daba daba daba
1394
01:18:19,742 --> 01:18:21,202
J' Said the monkey to the chimp
1395
01:18:21,535 --> 01:18:22,995
J' All night long,
they'd chatter away
1396
01:18:23,329 --> 01:18:25,080
J' All day long they're
happy and gay
1397
01:18:25,414 --> 01:18:28,959
J' Swingin' and singin'
in a honky-tonky way
1398
01:18:29,293 --> 01:18:31,503
(bright music)
1399
01:18:42,348 --> 01:18:44,225
And for that very
special wool jacket
1400
01:18:44,558 --> 01:18:46,018
there's still good
old tissue paper
1401
01:18:46,352 --> 01:18:48,604
to help keep out nasty creases.
1402
01:18:50,272 --> 01:18:52,316
And one final tip, girls.
1403
01:18:52,650 --> 01:18:54,902
(upbeat music)
1404
01:19:02,660 --> 01:19:05,287
(accordion music)
1405
01:19:14,546 --> 01:19:16,382
And so these great nations
1406
01:19:16,715 --> 01:19:19,260
have gone speeding
through history.
1407
01:19:19,593 --> 01:19:23,430
Brown hands and white hands,
reaching out to the skies
1408
01:19:23,764 --> 01:19:25,349
in heavenly harmony!
1409
01:19:26,433 --> 01:19:29,478
(explosions booming)
1410
01:19:54,586 --> 01:19:56,463
(upbeat music)
1411
01:19:56,797 --> 01:19:59,341
J' Come on baby let
the good times roll
1412
01:19:59,675 --> 01:20:02,803
J' Come on baby let
me thrill your soul
1413
01:20:03,137 --> 01:20:06,015
J' Come on baby let
the good times roll
1414
01:20:06,348 --> 01:20:09,643
J' Roll all night long
1415
01:20:09,977 --> 01:20:12,855
J' Come on baby
1416
01:20:13,188 --> 01:20:16,442
J' This is something
I just can't miss
1417
01:20:16,775 --> 01:20:19,611
J' Come on baby let
the good times roll
1418
01:20:19,945 --> 01:20:21,030
J' Roll all night long
1419
01:20:21,363 --> 01:20:23,282
Hey, Big Bob! Good to see you.
1420
01:20:23,615 --> 01:20:24,992
How are you?
1421
01:20:25,326 --> 01:20:26,410
Help me with my sheet, here.
1422
01:20:26,744 --> 01:20:28,537
Where's somebody go to wet
their whistle around here?
1423
01:20:28,871 --> 01:20:30,789
- Al, son of a gun.
1424
01:20:31,123 --> 01:20:31,957
- Let's get a beer. Come on.
1425
01:20:32,291 --> 01:20:34,168
Hey, Pancho! How are you?
1426
01:20:40,299 --> 01:20:41,592
Look, isn't that the
saddest looking bunch
1427
01:20:41,925 --> 01:20:43,052
of Exhausted Rooster Candidates?
1428
01:20:43,385 --> 01:20:44,094
Haven't I told you every year
1429
01:20:44,428 --> 01:20:46,305
they get more exhausted looking?
1430
01:20:46,638 --> 01:20:48,807
- Here, have a beer.
1431
01:20:49,141 --> 01:20:51,477
- How the hell are you, Big Bob?
1432
01:20:54,730 --> 01:20:55,356
Peel that.
1433
01:21:00,736 --> 01:21:01,737
You missed out on a lot of fun.
1434
01:21:02,071 --> 01:21:02,988
Where've you been?
1435
01:21:03,322 --> 01:21:03,906
- Had a little trouble
with the pageant.
1436
01:21:04,239 --> 01:21:06,909
- Good. I'll drink to that.
1437
01:21:07,242 --> 01:21:09,661
That's not funny. Some
poor girl's act was ruined.
1438
01:21:09,995 --> 01:21:11,121
Our first Mexican-American entry
1439
01:21:11,455 --> 01:21:12,748
claims her act was sabotaged.
1440
01:21:13,082 --> 01:21:14,166
- I hardly believe that.
1441
01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:15,834
- I hope that's not true.
1442
01:21:16,168 --> 01:21:17,503
Our club has spent a
lot of time and money
1443
01:21:17,836 --> 01:21:21,548
trying to help these
young people become
responsible adults.
1444
01:21:21,882 --> 01:21:23,550
I'll barbecue your ass!
1445
01:21:28,347 --> 01:21:31,392
Didn't I tell you
it was gonna be fun?
1446
01:21:31,725 --> 01:21:33,143
Didn't I tell you,
as our friends south
1447
01:21:33,477 --> 01:21:36,563
of the border would
say, "Dos pelotas!"
1448
01:21:59,962 --> 01:22:02,423
(men shouting)
1449
01:22:38,625 --> 01:22:41,587
(bottles ringing)
1450
01:23:31,094 --> 01:23:33,972
(people chattering)
1451
01:23:38,936 --> 01:23:39,645
I love it!
1452
01:23:48,028 --> 01:23:48,695
Come on.
1453
01:23:51,323 --> 01:23:52,199
- What's wrong?
1454
01:23:52,533 --> 01:23:54,493
- Come on, Andy, be a man.
1455
01:24:05,546 --> 01:24:06,213
Andy!
1456
01:24:26,733 --> 01:24:27,651
Andy!
1457
01:24:30,654 --> 01:24:31,655
If Wilson can't get
to the bottom of it,
1458
01:24:31,989 --> 01:24:33,782
I'll get into it
myself tomorrow.
1459
01:24:34,116 --> 01:24:35,033
I've got to hang up now.
1460
01:24:35,367 --> 01:24:36,743
Yeah, I'll talk to
you tomorrow. Bye-bye.
1461
01:24:37,077 --> 01:24:39,746
Andy, ljust had
the rug shampooed.
1462
01:24:44,751 --> 01:24:45,794
Piss on the rug.
1463
01:24:49,673 --> 01:24:50,674
You're drunk.
1464
01:25:01,768 --> 01:25:03,770
What's the matter?
1465
01:25:04,104 --> 01:25:05,856
I think I'm going crazy.
1466
01:25:09,610 --> 01:25:12,070
Now, that's a
stupid thing to say.
1467
01:25:12,404 --> 01:25:13,947
I was in the park.
1468
01:25:14,281 --> 01:25:16,658
Grown men horsing
around in sheets.
1469
01:25:16,992 --> 01:25:18,744
Big Bob grinning at
me through his hood.
1470
01:25:19,077 --> 01:25:20,537
Either they're
crazy or I'm crazy!
1471
01:25:20,871 --> 01:25:22,456
Did Big Bob tell you what
happened at the pageant-
1472
01:25:22,789 --> 01:25:25,125
- I don't give a damn
about that pageant!
1473
01:25:25,459 --> 01:25:26,126
- Go ahead!
1474
01:25:28,086 --> 01:25:30,839
I'm used to you making fun
of all the things I do.
1475
01:25:31,173 --> 01:25:32,591
But I'm going to go
right on doing them!
1476
01:25:32,924 --> 01:25:34,217
You have to do
something with your time
1477
01:25:34,551 --> 01:25:37,512
when you're married
to the town drunk.
1478
01:25:43,143 --> 01:25:45,228
(sobbing)
1479
01:25:56,573 --> 01:25:59,951
You won't let me
make up, will you?
1480
01:26:00,285 --> 01:26:01,828
Brenda, that's what
we're supposed to do,
1481
01:26:02,162 --> 01:26:02,954
comfort each other.
1482
01:26:03,288 --> 01:26:04,373
- I'm tired!
1483
01:26:04,706 --> 01:26:07,668
- Well, I'm tired
of your being tired!
1484
01:26:08,835 --> 01:26:09,878
You're crazy!
1485
01:26:10,962 --> 01:26:12,673
I already said that.
1486
01:26:16,968 --> 01:26:18,178
Oh, poor thing.
1487
01:26:24,893 --> 01:26:25,811
Andy!
1488
01:26:38,156 --> 01:26:38,824
Andy?
1489
01:26:54,005 --> 01:26:55,132
Where are you?
1490
01:26:56,466 --> 01:27:00,053
If you're doing anything
to mess up my clean rug.
1491
01:27:08,520 --> 01:27:10,272
Don't worry, I'm
standing on the paper.
1492
01:27:10,605 --> 01:27:11,606
- Andy, you can't!
1493
01:27:11,940 --> 01:27:13,942
- Quit telling me what to do!
1494
01:27:14,901 --> 01:27:16,194
That's terrific.
1495
01:27:18,822 --> 01:27:20,741
If you've got a problem,
don't try to solve it
1496
01:27:21,074 --> 01:27:23,452
just take the coward's way out.
1497
01:27:23,785 --> 01:27:24,327
Coward!
1498
01:27:30,876 --> 01:27:32,169
You're right, Brenda.
1499
01:27:32,502 --> 01:27:34,963
This is the coward's way out.
1500
01:27:35,297 --> 01:27:37,924
I should attack my real problem.
1501
01:27:38,258 --> 01:27:40,218
(gun bangs)
1502
01:27:44,723 --> 01:27:47,476
Hey, I'm property of the
United States Navy, man.
1503
01:27:47,809 --> 01:27:49,227
I don't belong here.
1504
01:27:49,561 --> 01:27:50,937
I want to see a psychiatrist.
1505
01:27:51,271 --> 01:27:52,397
- Let me out!
1506
01:27:52,731 --> 01:27:54,357
- What do we have here?
1507
01:27:56,651 --> 01:27:57,944
Hey, let me out!
1508
01:28:15,170 --> 01:28:16,797
I guess you heard Brenda's okay.
1509
01:28:17,130 --> 01:28:20,091
Just a little nick
in the shoulder.
1510
01:28:24,304 --> 01:28:26,181
Sounds of the big house.
1511
01:28:27,891 --> 01:28:29,601
It's a little scary.
1512
01:28:29,935 --> 01:28:30,685
How are you?
1513
01:28:32,145 --> 01:28:35,273
I'm pretty good. I'm
pretty damn good.
1514
01:28:37,359 --> 01:28:41,947
Guess you're relieved Brenda's
not pressing charges, though.
1515
01:28:42,280 --> 01:28:43,990
I knew she wouldn't.
1516
01:28:44,324 --> 01:28:46,910
This way she can keep
her precious pageant
1517
01:28:47,244 --> 01:28:47,994
out of the newspaper.
1518
01:28:48,328 --> 01:28:49,871
Andy, now wait a second.
1519
01:28:50,205 --> 01:28:52,624
I'm your best friend, right?
1520
01:28:52,958 --> 01:28:53,917
First of all, I don't think
1521
01:28:54,251 --> 01:28:55,377
you're being fair
to the little lady.
1522
01:28:55,710 --> 01:28:57,254
Seriously, she's
been an enormous help
1523
01:28:57,587 --> 01:29:00,632
to me throughout
this whole thing.
1524
01:29:00,966 --> 01:29:03,176
You know the biggest
thing you could do for me?
1525
01:29:03,510 --> 01:29:04,886
- Don't always be
knocking the pageant.
1526
01:29:05,220 --> 01:29:06,555
- Screw the pageant!
1527
01:29:10,183 --> 01:29:13,103
What am I supposed
to say to that?
1528
01:29:14,104 --> 01:29:15,063
I'm sorry.
1529
01:29:18,191 --> 01:29:19,526
- You going to work today?
1530
01:29:19,860 --> 01:29:20,485
- Hell, no!
1531
01:29:23,488 --> 01:29:25,657
What are you gonna do?
1532
01:29:25,991 --> 01:29:28,034
You'll be out of here soon.
1533
01:29:30,245 --> 01:29:31,872
I don't know exactly.
1534
01:29:33,123 --> 01:29:34,833
- I'll probably
leave Santa Rosa-
1535
01:29:35,166 --> 01:29:35,709
- Oh, no.
1536
01:29:37,711 --> 01:29:41,047
You got to stay in
Santa Rosa, Andy.
1537
01:29:41,381 --> 01:29:43,258
You can lick your problems,
right here in your own backyard.
1538
01:29:43,592 --> 01:29:44,467
Who wants to?
1539
01:29:45,927 --> 01:29:47,178
Andy, it's very simple.
1540
01:29:47,512 --> 01:29:49,014
All it takes is a drop
more perseverance,
1541
01:29:49,347 --> 01:29:52,601
a drop more optimism,
and a drop more energy.
1542
01:29:52,934 --> 01:29:54,102
Simple.
1543
01:29:54,436 --> 01:29:55,896
Hey, wait a minute.
1544
01:30:00,150 --> 01:30:02,110
I've heard that before.
1545
01:30:02,444 --> 01:30:03,153
- Heard what before?
1546
01:30:03,486 --> 01:30:05,572
- That drip-drop crap.
1547
01:30:05,906 --> 01:30:07,574
Brenda read that to me.
1548
01:30:09,200 --> 01:30:11,912
That's right out of the
Young American Miss program.
1549
01:30:12,245 --> 01:30:14,122
A good philosophy
is good philosophy.
1550
01:30:14,456 --> 01:30:16,833
And I don't happen to be a
snob about where I get it from.
1551
01:30:17,167 --> 01:30:18,043
I can tell you another thing,
1552
01:30:18,376 --> 01:30:19,544
as your best friend
talking to you
1553
01:30:19,878 --> 01:30:23,006
quit wallowing around in all
this self-indulgent self-pity
1554
01:30:23,340 --> 01:30:26,551
and get out there and
start helping others.
1555
01:30:29,638 --> 01:30:32,974
Bob, I've finally
figured out what you are.
1556
01:30:36,436 --> 01:30:38,021
You know what you are?
1557
01:30:38,355 --> 01:30:40,732
A goddamn Young American Miss.
1558
01:30:48,239 --> 01:30:50,367
Okay, we got the
list down to 10.
1559
01:30:50,700 --> 01:30:51,993
- All excellent choices.
1560
01:30:52,327 --> 01:30:53,578
- All wonderful girls.
1561
01:30:53,912 --> 01:30:56,206
- They sure are.
Now, let's drop five.
1562
01:30:56,539 --> 01:30:57,457
- Right.
1563
01:30:57,791 --> 01:30:58,833
We could drop her.
1564
01:30:59,167 --> 01:31:01,002
You really hate jelly
jars, don't you, Father?
1565
01:31:01,336 --> 01:31:02,879
- Not as a container forjelly.
1566
01:31:03,213 --> 01:31:04,172
- This isn't getting us home.
1567
01:31:04,506 --> 01:31:06,132
Okay, you're right.
1568
01:31:06,466 --> 01:31:08,259
I think we've all lost
our way a little here.
1569
01:31:08,593 --> 01:31:10,220
Let's go back to basics.
1570
01:31:10,553 --> 01:31:12,263
It's all right here
in thejudges' manual.
1571
01:31:12,597 --> 01:31:13,848
Let's remind ourselves
of the qualities
1572
01:31:14,182 --> 01:31:15,976
we are asked to
find in the winner.
1573
01:31:16,309 --> 01:31:18,520
AYoung American Miss
must be cheerful,
1574
01:31:18,853 --> 01:31:23,650
perseverant, sincere, show a
genuine concern for others.
1575
01:31:24,859 --> 01:31:27,237
Right. And those aren't
bad things to be.
1576
01:31:28,863 --> 01:31:29,531
Are they?
1577
01:31:31,116 --> 01:31:33,284
Look, the deal was
$2,000. I want my money.
1578
01:31:33,618 --> 01:31:35,120
You'll get your money
as soon as you take out
1579
01:31:35,453 --> 01:31:36,621
that ramp you put in first.
1580
01:31:36,955 --> 01:31:39,124
God damn it, I told you
I can't do that now!
1581
01:31:39,457 --> 01:31:41,459
Mr. French, I expect you to
be reasonable about this.
1582
01:31:41,793 --> 01:31:42,752
You are a professional.
1583
01:31:43,086 --> 01:31:44,921
The Jaycees never really
planned on that ramp.
1584
01:31:45,255 --> 01:31:46,756
But you approved it.
1585
01:31:47,090 --> 01:31:48,550
We didn't realize it
was going to eliminate
1586
01:31:48,883 --> 01:31:51,052
so many seats from
our Golden Circle.
1587
01:31:51,386 --> 01:31:52,429
What Golden Circle?
1588
01:31:52,762 --> 01:31:54,639
The golden chairs
that go right here,
1589
01:31:54,973 --> 01:31:57,017
where your ramp is now.
1590
01:31:57,350 --> 01:31:59,853
We always put them in
on the final night.
1591
01:32:00,186 --> 01:32:01,104
And as it is now,
1592
01:32:01,438 --> 01:32:02,439
they're already all
sold out for $10 a head.
1593
01:32:02,772 --> 01:32:03,982
Now, if you need
the ramp in here,
1594
01:32:04,315 --> 01:32:07,485
it means that we're
out 5O chairs and $500.
1595
01:32:07,819 --> 01:32:08,820
I sympathize with your problem,
1596
01:32:09,154 --> 01:32:10,071
but you should've
told me sooner.
1597
01:32:10,405 --> 01:32:12,741
There's nothing I
can do about it now.
1598
01:32:13,074 --> 01:32:15,577
Yes, there is. You
can take out the ramp.
1599
01:32:15,910 --> 01:32:16,995
If I take that ramp out now
1600
01:32:17,328 --> 01:32:18,747
I will have to
completely restage
1601
01:32:19,080 --> 01:32:21,499
all the numbers
in one afternoon.
1602
01:32:21,833 --> 01:32:23,251
Is that so hard?
1603
01:32:23,585 --> 01:32:25,462
These girls are
not Ginger Rogers.
1604
01:32:25,795 --> 01:32:27,964
They dance more like Roy Rogers.
1605
01:32:28,298 --> 01:32:30,175
I'd hoped you thought a little
more of our girls than that.
1606
01:32:30,508 --> 01:32:32,469
Don't give me that
sanctimonious shit!
1607
01:32:32,802 --> 01:32:35,180
You're the one that doesn't
give a goddamn about the girls.
1608
01:32:35,513 --> 01:32:36,264
If I take that ramp out now,
1609
01:32:36,598 --> 01:32:38,641
they'll fall all
over themselves.
1610
01:32:38,975 --> 01:32:41,102
The finance committee did
come up with another idea
1611
01:32:41,436 --> 01:32:44,481
but I don't think
you're gonna like it.
1612
01:32:45,440 --> 01:32:46,107
Try me.
1613
01:32:48,193 --> 01:32:50,070
How would you feel
about picking up the tab
1614
01:32:50,403 --> 01:32:53,907
for the amount we lose because
of your ramp being there?
1615
01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:57,744
It means we would deduct
$5oo from your check.
1616
01:32:59,579 --> 01:33:00,955
How would you feel about
having the whole pageant
1617
01:33:01,289 --> 01:33:04,209
shoved up your ass,
bamboo poles and all?
1618
01:33:04,542 --> 01:33:05,418
Now see here, Mr. French,
1619
01:33:05,752 --> 01:33:07,420
I'm trying to be
reasonable about this.
1620
01:33:07,754 --> 01:33:10,632
Our Jaycee chapter
is almost bankrupt
1621
01:33:10,965 --> 01:33:12,926
because of this meat show!
1622
01:33:14,219 --> 01:33:15,720
If we don't break even,
we'll have to cancel
1623
01:33:16,054 --> 01:33:18,098
the Rodeo for the Retarded.
1624
01:33:19,891 --> 01:33:23,061
Surely $500 can't mean that much
1625
01:33:23,394 --> 01:33:25,939
to a Hollywood professional.
1626
01:33:26,272 --> 01:33:28,233
And one, two, three, four.
1627
01:33:29,609 --> 01:33:33,029
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, turn!
1628
01:33:33,363 --> 01:33:34,781
One, two, three, four
1629
01:33:36,950 --> 01:33:38,868
five, six, seven, eight.
1630
01:33:40,495 --> 01:33:41,162
Hold it!
1631
01:33:45,291 --> 01:33:47,043
Get rid of the ramp.
1632
01:33:48,419 --> 01:33:51,631
Now, ladies, pay attention.
We've got a lot of work to do.
1633
01:33:51,965 --> 01:33:54,968
One, two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight!
1634
01:33:55,301 --> 01:33:57,053
J' Me ol' bam-boo
1635
01:33:57,387 --> 01:33:58,596
J' You better never bother
with me ol' bam-boo
1636
01:33:58,930 --> 01:34:00,473
J' You can have me hat
or me bumber-shoot
1637
01:34:00,807 --> 01:34:05,603
J' But you better never
bother with me ol' bam-boo
1638
01:34:07,605 --> 01:34:09,107
- Mr. French, are you busy?
1639
01:34:09,440 --> 01:34:10,108
- Yeah.
1640
01:34:10,441 --> 01:34:12,152
I'd just like to
ask you one question
1641
01:34:12,485 --> 01:34:14,571
about my daughter, Celia Parks?
1642
01:34:14,904 --> 01:34:17,407
The one who sang I Feel Pretty.
1643
01:34:18,867 --> 01:34:20,451
I just wanted to
know if you think
1644
01:34:20,785 --> 01:34:24,330
she has a future as a
professional singer.
1645
01:34:24,664 --> 01:34:27,333
Not unless Florence
Henderson dies.
1646
01:34:44,517 --> 01:34:46,853
We feel we are not
doing these new routines
1647
01:34:47,187 --> 01:34:49,022
as well without the ramp.
1648
01:34:54,944 --> 01:34:59,032
We were just wondering why
we can't have the ramp.
1649
01:35:00,283 --> 01:35:01,492
Because I said so.
1650
01:35:18,384 --> 01:35:19,844
Was there something else?
1651
01:35:20,178 --> 01:35:21,304
We'll never be as
good without the ramp.
1652
01:35:21,638 --> 01:35:22,764
It just isn't fair!
1653
01:35:23,097 --> 01:35:24,724
Few things in life are.
1654
01:35:27,060 --> 01:35:28,353
I've been working
so hard all week.
1655
01:35:28,686 --> 01:35:30,396
Vim and Vigor is my best event.
1656
01:35:30,730 --> 01:35:32,815
I've won the preliminaries, and
I was counting on that ramp.
1657
01:35:33,149 --> 01:35:34,692
Hold it a minute!
1658
01:35:35,026 --> 01:35:37,528
Are you speaking
for the group now?
1659
01:35:37,862 --> 01:35:40,698
Because if you are, you're
sure using the word "l" a lot.
1660
01:35:41,032 --> 01:35:43,660
No, I guess I'm
speaking for myself.
1661
01:35:43,993 --> 01:35:48,289
Then here's an answer, just
for you: The ramp is out!
1662
01:35:49,749 --> 01:35:51,709
16, 17, 18, 19, 2o.
1663
01:35:52,043 --> 01:35:53,294
J' Me ol' bam-boo
1664
01:35:53,628 --> 01:35:55,088
J' You better never bother
with me ol' bam-boo
1665
01:35:55,421 --> 01:35:56,881
J' You can have me hat
or me bumber-shoot
1666
01:35:57,215 --> 01:36:01,886
J' But you better never
bother with me ol' bam-boo
1667
01:36:08,476 --> 01:36:10,520
And one, two, and turn!
1668
01:36:18,611 --> 01:36:19,529
Easy.
1669
01:36:23,992 --> 01:36:24,784
- Are you all right?
1670
01:36:25,118 --> 01:36:25,785
- Yeah, I'm all right.
1671
01:36:26,119 --> 01:36:27,412
What happened?
1672
01:36:27,745 --> 01:36:29,872
I should have gone left
instead of straight ahead.
1673
01:36:30,206 --> 01:36:33,501
I flunked Driver's Ed
for the same thing.
1674
01:36:43,553 --> 01:36:45,054
Put back the ramp.
1675
01:36:49,350 --> 01:36:50,768
You win, you little
toad bastard!
1676
01:36:51,102 --> 01:36:52,478
I want the $1,5oo tonight!
1677
01:36:52,812 --> 01:36:54,439
And if Miss Anaheim is not
smart enough to sue you
1678
01:36:54,772 --> 01:36:55,898
I will personally introduce her
1679
01:36:56,232 --> 01:36:59,110
to a nice lawyer
who is not a Jaycee.
1680
01:37:04,407 --> 01:37:05,450
- No, listen, I'm
going to soak it.
1681
01:37:05,783 --> 01:37:06,451
- Are you all right, darling?
1682
01:37:06,784 --> 01:37:10,163
Can I get you anything,
a doctor, a Pepsi?
1683
01:37:22,300 --> 01:37:24,010
Wait, let me help you.
1684
01:37:25,303 --> 01:37:26,846
- Please don't make
such a fuss, dear.
1685
01:37:27,180 --> 01:37:28,848
- I'm fine. I'm absolutely fine.
1686
01:37:29,182 --> 01:37:30,433
- Hello, Earl. How
are you tonight?
1687
01:37:30,767 --> 01:37:31,392
- See you inside.
1688
01:37:31,726 --> 01:37:32,435
- Doesn't it hurt?
1689
01:37:32,769 --> 01:37:34,020
- It's not important.
1690
01:37:34,354 --> 01:37:37,273
Please remember I simply
slipped and sprained my arm.
1691
01:37:37,607 --> 01:37:38,524
That's all.
1692
01:37:38,858 --> 01:37:39,776
Yeah, but I think
you're being too good
1693
01:37:40,109 --> 01:37:41,361
to that bastard by
keeping this thing quiet.
1694
01:37:41,694 --> 01:37:43,446
If Gary took a shot at me,
1695
01:37:43,780 --> 01:37:44,947
I'd make sure it was
on the front page.
1696
01:37:45,281 --> 01:37:47,367
Why are you protecting him?
1697
01:37:48,993 --> 01:37:52,080
It's not for Andy.
It's for the girls.
1698
01:37:54,040 --> 01:37:57,543
He's lucky to be leaving
someone like you.
1699
01:38:01,547 --> 01:38:02,757
How do you feel?
How's your knee?
1700
01:38:03,091 --> 01:38:05,885
The knee's okay,
but I'm so nervous.
1701
01:38:06,803 --> 01:38:07,762
I mean, I'm starting to feel
1702
01:38:08,096 --> 01:38:09,972
like I wanna win
again, you know?
1703
01:38:10,306 --> 01:38:12,558
Yeah. It's a hard feeling
to get rid of, isn't it?
1704
01:38:12,892 --> 01:38:13,643
Right.
1705
01:38:13,976 --> 01:38:17,522
Sometimes I feel like
I could win, you know?
1706
01:38:18,773 --> 01:38:20,441
Then I get mad at
myself for wanting to,
1707
01:38:20,775 --> 01:38:22,235
and then I get mad at myself
1708
01:38:22,568 --> 01:38:24,570
for being dumb enough
to think that I could.
1709
01:38:24,904 --> 01:38:26,406
Yeah, I feel the same way.
1710
01:38:26,739 --> 01:38:28,408
I want to win so bad.
1711
01:38:44,590 --> 01:38:46,384
Big Bob. How are we doing?
1712
01:38:46,717 --> 01:38:47,969
- How are we doing?
1713
01:38:49,429 --> 01:38:50,138
- Yeah.
1714
01:38:50,471 --> 01:38:52,515
Oh, we're doing great, Wilson.
1715
01:38:54,434 --> 01:38:56,310
We are doing just great.
1716
01:38:56,644 --> 01:38:59,313
And a hell ofjob
by you this year.
1717
01:39:03,860 --> 01:39:05,027
It's show time!
1718
01:39:10,408 --> 01:39:13,619
And to shine over this
great and fabulous evening,
1719
01:39:13,953 --> 01:39:16,414
Old Glory carried with honor
1720
01:39:16,747 --> 01:39:19,625
by the Santa Rosa Marine
Auxiliary Color Guard.
1721
01:39:19,959 --> 01:39:23,588
Three strong Americans
who keep America strong.
1722
01:39:27,884 --> 01:39:30,803
("National Anthem")
1723
01:39:43,900 --> 01:39:46,527
(upbeat music)
1724
01:39:51,782 --> 01:39:53,659
And with their symbolic
rose of friendship
1725
01:39:53,993 --> 01:39:55,995
each of our girls bids adieu
1726
01:39:56,329 --> 01:40:00,666
to the reigning Young American
Miss, Jo Ann Marshall.
1727
01:40:24,732 --> 01:40:26,108
Goodbye, Jo Ann.
1728
01:40:26,442 --> 01:40:28,694
Goodbye, Young American Miss.
1729
01:40:43,125 --> 01:40:45,169
There they go, ladies and
gentlemen, the judges.
1730
01:40:45,503 --> 01:40:48,589
Ancl frankly, I don't
envy them one little bit.
1731
01:40:48,923 --> 01:40:50,132
They have already
done the impossible
1732
01:40:50,466 --> 01:40:52,760
by selecting the
five most wonderful.
1733
01:40:53,094 --> 01:40:56,138
To entertain you while
ourjudges deliberate,
1734
01:40:56,472 --> 01:41:00,560
those truly grand and
truly glorious has-beens
1735
01:41:00,893 --> 01:41:02,144
have worked up a little number.
1736
01:41:02,478 --> 01:41:03,396
You'll enjoy this.
1737
01:41:03,729 --> 01:41:04,689
Let's bring them on with
a round of applause.
1738
01:41:05,022 --> 01:41:07,775
Ladies and gentlemen,
our has-beens.
1739
01:41:28,087 --> 01:41:30,256
(drums rolling)
1740
01:41:30,590 --> 01:41:31,716
Thank you, Jo Ann.
1741
01:41:33,009 --> 01:41:35,595
Here it is, ladies
and gentlemen.
1742
01:41:35,928 --> 01:41:36,596
I sometimes wonder
how those astronauts
1743
01:41:36,929 --> 01:41:38,764
handle all that pressure.
1744
01:41:40,808 --> 01:41:44,604
And our fourth runner-up,
ladies and gentlemen,
1745
01:41:58,451 --> 01:42:00,620
Miss Anaheim, Doria Houston!
1746
01:42:03,205 --> 01:42:05,499
Anaheim's own Doria Houston!
1747
01:42:21,849 --> 01:42:23,726
And our third runner-up:
1748
01:42:30,983 --> 01:42:33,110
Miss Fresno, Leslie Anderson!
1749
01:42:41,535 --> 01:42:44,497
And here it is, our
second runner-up.
1750
01:42:46,374 --> 01:42:48,167
What an exciting night.
1751
01:42:50,044 --> 01:42:51,879
Miss Modesto, Judy Wagner!
1752
01:42:54,048 --> 01:42:55,883
Modesto's own Judy Wagner!
1753
01:43:09,105 --> 01:43:12,692
And now, it's time for
the first runner-up.
1754
01:43:13,025 --> 01:43:14,110
And remember,
ladies and gentlemen
1755
01:43:14,443 --> 01:43:17,780
that if for any
reason our California
1756
01:43:18,114 --> 01:43:19,740
Young American Miss
selected tonight
1757
01:43:20,074 --> 01:43:23,244
is unable to fulfill
her responsibilities,
1758
01:43:23,577 --> 01:43:26,789
this is the girl that
would take her place.
1759
01:43:28,916 --> 01:43:30,376
Our first runner-up:
1760
01:43:36,841 --> 01:43:38,759
Greater Dinuba, Nancy Hess!
1761
01:43:40,094 --> 01:43:42,722
Nancy Hess from Greater Dinuba!
1762
01:43:53,357 --> 01:43:55,109
And now, here it is,
that special moment
1763
01:43:55,443 --> 01:43:57,570
that we've worked
all week toward.
1764
01:43:57,903 --> 01:44:00,531
I don't mind telling you,
hairs are standing on end.
1765
01:44:00,865 --> 01:44:04,952
And remember, there are no
winners and losers here,
1766
01:44:07,413 --> 01:44:10,499
because each of our
girls is a winner.
1767
01:44:11,917 --> 01:44:15,713
But if there ever was a
winner, this would be it.
1768
01:44:16,046 --> 01:44:19,341
This is the gal to beat
in Baton Rouge, Louisiana,
1769
01:44:19,675 --> 01:44:22,803
our new California
Young American Miss.
1770
01:44:36,150 --> 01:44:39,028
Fountain Valley,
Shawn Christianson!
1771
01:44:40,112 --> 01:44:43,032
Miss Fountain Valley,
Shawn Christianson!
1772
01:44:43,365 --> 01:44:48,120
(audience applauding)
(audience cheering)
1773
01:45:21,529 --> 01:45:23,072
J' Once she held
her tears inside
1774
01:45:23,405 --> 01:45:27,451
J' But now there's
nothing left to hide
1775
01:45:27,785 --> 01:45:30,913
J'An all-American girl you see
1776
01:45:31,247 --> 01:45:34,291
J' She's all an American
girl should be
1777
01:45:34,625 --> 01:45:37,586
J' With an inner beauty
she shines bright
1778
01:45:37,920 --> 01:45:40,714
J' With a sense of
duty here tonight
1779
01:45:41,048 --> 01:45:43,968
J' She'll wear her crown
with love and respect
1780
01:45:44,301 --> 01:45:49,056
J' She's our Young
American girl elect
1781
01:45:50,057 --> 01:45:53,978
J'An all-American girl you see
1782
01:45:54,311 --> 01:45:58,774
J' She's all an American
girl should be
1783
01:46:13,455 --> 01:46:14,915
There she is, ladies
and gentlemen,
1784
01:46:15,249 --> 01:46:19,712
California's new Young American
Miss, Shawn Christianson.
1785
01:46:20,796 --> 01:46:22,214
Isn't she lovely?
1786
01:46:22,548 --> 01:46:24,425
Aren't they all lovely?
1787
01:46:24,758 --> 01:46:26,510
Isn't everyone lovely?
1788
01:46:26,844 --> 01:46:29,054
(upbeat music)
1789
01:46:35,477 --> 01:46:37,479
Our thanks to all of
our lovely contestants,
1790
01:46:37,813 --> 01:46:38,898
the great work done
by the Jaycees,
1791
01:46:39,231 --> 01:46:41,025
our fabulously unique judges,
1792
01:46:41,358 --> 01:46:42,693
of course, the
fantastic orchestra
1793
01:46:43,027 --> 01:46:45,154
under the supervision
of Ray Brandy,
1794
01:46:45,487 --> 01:46:46,906
our stupendous
director, the superb
1795
01:46:47,239 --> 01:46:49,533
Hollywood professional,
Mr. Tommy French.
1796
01:46:49,867 --> 01:46:52,494
And, of course, our
miraculous stage crew.
1797
01:46:52,828 --> 01:46:54,288
Mostly, thank you,
ladies and gentlemen,
1798
01:46:54,622 --> 01:46:55,873
for making it such
a great evening.
1799
01:46:56,206 --> 01:46:57,041
Thank you and good night.
1800
01:46:57,374 --> 01:46:58,751
See you next year!
1801
01:47:31,575 --> 01:47:32,242
Doria!
1802
01:47:40,209 --> 01:47:42,670
Robin, I wanted you to win, too.
1803
01:47:45,172 --> 01:47:47,925
Maybe I'm not an opportunist.
1804
01:47:48,258 --> 01:47:50,719
Listen, Doria, don't
worry about it.
1805
01:47:51,053 --> 01:47:52,972
I'm just glad it's over.
1806
01:47:53,305 --> 01:47:53,847
No shit.
1807
01:47:58,102 --> 01:47:58,769
Momma!
1808
01:48:03,732 --> 01:48:05,484
I'm so glad to see you.
1809
01:48:28,257 --> 01:48:30,634
Are you done with this stuff?
1810
01:48:31,719 --> 01:48:32,886
- Excuse me?
1811
01:48:33,220 --> 01:48:34,346
- I throw it away.
1812
01:48:35,681 --> 01:48:38,434
Go ahead, throw it
away. Thank you.
1813
01:48:41,270 --> 01:48:42,938
Front and center, huh!
1814
01:48:48,527 --> 01:48:49,570
Forward, huh!
1815
01:48:52,322 --> 01:48:53,115
Detail, halt.
1816
01:48:56,285 --> 01:48:57,286
Order, huh!
1817
01:48:59,580 --> 01:49:00,205
At ease.
1818
01:49:14,595 --> 01:49:16,055
Keep them tight. Roll them up.
1819
01:49:16,388 --> 01:49:17,181
- Hiya, fellas.
1820
01:49:17,514 --> 01:49:19,016
- How you doing?
1821
01:49:19,349 --> 01:49:20,768
You guys sure did a
super job tonight.
1822
01:49:21,101 --> 01:49:22,019
Thank you.
1823
01:49:22,352 --> 01:49:24,938
Thank you. Watch the flag, Gene.
1824
01:49:26,815 --> 01:49:28,692
The First Division, huh?
1825
01:49:29,026 --> 01:49:29,610
Yes, sir.
1826
01:49:31,737 --> 01:49:32,863
ROII in tight.
1827
01:49:33,947 --> 01:49:36,075
I was in the First Division.
1828
01:49:36,408 --> 01:49:38,035
Watch your flag there, Gene.
1829
01:49:38,368 --> 01:49:41,080
We held the Chosin Reservoir.
1830
01:49:41,413 --> 01:49:43,082
Did you see the knockers
on Miss Imperial County?
1831
01:49:43,415 --> 01:49:44,208
- Yeah, both of them.
1832
01:49:44,541 --> 01:49:46,335
- Let's get out of here.
1833
01:49:56,553 --> 01:50:01,475
J' Smile though your
heart is aching
1834
01:50:03,477 --> 01:50:04,812
J' Smile even though
it's breaking
1835
01:50:05,145 --> 01:50:06,063
No, these are just for Sunday.
1836
01:50:06,396 --> 01:50:08,148
Actually, I have
six more of them.
1837
01:50:08,482 --> 01:50:11,568
I just wear these on
Sundays. What? Four.
1838
01:50:43,725 --> 01:50:48,564
J' Light up your
face with gladness
1839
01:50:49,606 --> 01:50:53,944
J' Hide every trace of sadness
1840
01:50:55,487 --> 01:50:59,992
J' Although a tear
may be ever so near
1841
01:51:05,664 --> 01:51:10,460
J' That's the time you
must keep on trying
1842
01:51:13,672 --> 01:51:16,508
Step right into
my Guy here, Mom.
1843
01:51:16,842 --> 01:51:17,634
My open road. How about that?
1844
01:51:17,968 --> 01:51:18,802
Have a balloon here, Dad.
1845
01:51:19,136 --> 01:51:19,803
Let me show you something.
1846
01:51:20,137 --> 01:51:21,138
How about solid construction?
1847
01:51:21,471 --> 01:51:23,515
Look at this solid
body, solid steel.
1848
01:51:23,849 --> 01:51:25,309
Why are you worrying
about credit?
1849
01:51:25,642 --> 01:51:27,853
We don't worry about it.
1850
01:51:28,187 --> 01:51:30,939
J' If you just smile
1851
01:51:35,319 --> 01:51:37,696
(bright music)
1852
01:51:46,997 --> 01:51:49,333
(upbeat music)
1853
01:51:57,591 --> 01:51:59,218
J' We can see a bright tomorrow
1854
01:51:59,551 --> 01:52:01,970
J' Built by youth you see today
1855
01:52:02,304 --> 01:52:05,057
J' We have faith, we have hope
1856
01:52:05,390 --> 01:52:08,727
J' We can see a brighter day
1857
01:52:24,368 --> 01:52:27,537
-13,14,15,16,
17, 18, 19, 2o.
1858
01:52:27,871 --> 01:52:29,206
J' Me ol' bam-boo
1859
01:52:29,539 --> 01:52:31,291
J' You better never bother
with me ol' bam-boo
1860
01:52:31,625 --> 01:52:33,168
J' You can have me hat
or me bumber-shoot
1861
01:52:33,502 --> 01:52:38,298
J' But you better never
bother with me ol' bam-boo
1862
01:52:38,882 --> 01:52:41,301
(upbeat music)
135520
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