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>> HAPPY SAN DIEGO DAY!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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>> [ LAUGHS ]
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>> [ Eastern European accent ]
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I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS HOLIDAY
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OF YOURS.
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>> WHAT?
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YOU DON'T HAVE SAN DIEGO DAY IN
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EUROPE?!
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ALL RIGHT, WELL, OLD MAN
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SAN DIEGO AND HIS BEST FRIEND,
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PETEY THE PIT BULL, DECIDED TO
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HEAD OUT WEST.
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THEY FOUND THEMSELVES IN
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SAN DIEGO, WHICH BACK THEN WAS A
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BARREN WASTELAND, JUST A REAL
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CRAPHOLE.
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AHH.
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[ GLASS BREAKS ]
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WHERE THEY SURVIVED FOR SIX
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MONTHS ON ONE MAGIC CATFISH!
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THAT IS WHY WE CELEBRATE
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SAN DIEGO DAY.
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HEY, LOOK -- A HANGING CATFISH.
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YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?
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THAT MEANS YOU OWE ME A KISS.
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>> OKAY.
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BUT WAIT.
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>> [ EXHALES SHARPLY, SNIFFS ]
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>> OOH.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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MY LIPS ARE BURNING.
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MY LIPS ARE ON FIRE!
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MY LIPS ARE BURNING!
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THIS SMOKIN' HOT EUROPEAN CHICK
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JUST POISONED ME!
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[ GLASS BREAKING ]
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AAH!
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UGH.
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[ PARTYGOERS MURMURING ]
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>> NOAPTE BUNA, PRESIDENTE.
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[ INHALES SHARPLY ]
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[ KNIFE PLUNGES ]
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[ GROANS ]
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OH, NO.
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OH, MY GOD.
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LOOK AT ALL THESE DEAD
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SAN DIEGANS.
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OHH.
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[ PANTS ]
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[ High-pitched voice ] AAH!
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MY SHIRT!
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>> DIEGO!
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>> * OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
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* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH
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>> DIEGO!
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>> Trent: AND THAT IS THE STORY
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OF VIETNAM.
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OKAY, LET'S GO, KIDS.
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>> Kove: YOU'RE LATE.
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>> Trent: WELL, I ONLY GET THEM
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ONCE A YEAR.
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I WANTED TO ENJOY IT.
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>> MOM, PLEASE CAN DADDY STAY?
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PLEASE?
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>> PLEASE?
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>> Kove: OKAY. COME ON IN.
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>> Trent: ALL RIGHT, GUYS, YEAH.
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>> Kove: DON'T YOU DARE
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DISAPPOINT THEM, YOU SON OF A
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BITCH.
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[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
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>> Trent: GOT TO GO.
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>> Kove: NO SAN DIEGO DAY
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PRESENTS?
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>> Trent: UH...
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>> Kove: YOU DIDN'T GET THEM A
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GIFT, DID YOU?
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>> Trent: I WAS BUSY.
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I'LL MAKE IT UP TO THEM NEXT
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YEAR.
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>> Kove: NO, I WANT YOU TO GET
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THEM A REAL PRESENT RIGHT NOW.
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I'LL GIVE YOU 15 MINUTES.
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>> Trent: I'LL MAKE IT 10.
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[ CLOCK BEEPING ]
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>> Piper: TRENT, THE PRESIDENT
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HAS BEEN DRUGGED, AND HIS HEART
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HAS BEEN REPLACED WITH...A BOMB.
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>> Trent: NOT ON MY WATCH.
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>> Piper: WELL, LIKE I SAID,
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IT ALREADY HAPPENED, SO...
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>> Alphonse: HERE'S THE CATCH --
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IF WE TAKE THE BOMB OUT OF HIS
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CHEST, HE'LL DIE, SO YOU GOT TO
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GET HIM A NEW HEART.
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>> Trent: [ CHUCKLES ]
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OH, GREAT.
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I'LL JUST RUN ON DOWN TO THE
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LOCAL HEART STORE.
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OH, I HAVE A GIFT CERTIFICATE,
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I THINK.
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OH, NO, IT EXPIRED.
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OH, NO, IT DIDN'T BECAUSE HEART
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STORES DON'T EXIST.
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>> THAT'S NOT ENTIRELY TRUE.
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THERE IS A PLACE DOWNTOWN.
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IT'S NOT 100% LEGAL, BUT IT'S
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THE BEST WE'VE GOT.
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>> PERFECT.
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ALPHONSE, I NEED YOU TO DO ME A
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SOLID.
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YOU NEED TO GET ME A SAN DIEGO
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DAY GIFT FOR MY KIDS, A PETEY
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THE PIT BULL.
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>> Alphonse: DOESN'T SOUND LIKE
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A SOLID.
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IT SOUNDS LIKE AN ERRAND, TRENT.
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>> I'D SAY IT SOUNDS LIKE A
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SOLID.
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>> Alphonse: IT'S NOT A SOLID.
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IT'S AN ERRAND!
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>> Piper: ALPHONSE, IT'S
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SAN DIEGO DAY.
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YOU CAN DO HIM A SOLID.
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>> HIS BLOOD PRESSURE'S
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SKYROCKETING.
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I'D SAY YOU HAVE ABOUT NINE
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MINUTES.
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>> Trent: I'LL DO IT IN EIGHT.
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[ CLOCK BEEPING ]
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>> WHY WOULDN'T HE TAKE THE FULL
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NINE?
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[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
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[ HORN HONKS ]
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>> Trent: WHAT'S GOING ON OVER
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HERE?!
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>> NICK CANNON'S LIGHTING THE
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SAN DIEGO DAY CANDLE.
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IT'S A MADHOUSE, BRO.
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>> YO, SAN DIEGO!
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YOU READY TO GET WILD AND LIGHT
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THIS CANDLE?!
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>> YEAH! YEAR, WE ARE!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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ONLY THING THAT'S GONNA MAKE
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THIS CROWD DISPERSE IS SOME KIND
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OF -- I DON'T KNOW -- TERRORIST
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ATTACK OR SOMETHING, BRO.
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>> Trent: I GOT A HUMAN BOMB!
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EVERYBODY PANIC!
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>> LET ME GO, BRO!
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>> Piper: DON'T YOU WORRY.
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TRENT IS GOING TO GET HERE IN
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TIME, AND IT WILL BE A
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SAN DIEGO DAY MIRACLE.
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>> [ SPEAKING NATIVE LANGUAGE ]
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>> * I MISSED YOU, BABY
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>> Piper: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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>> WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
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>> * I MISS YOU, BABY
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>> Piper: I HAVEN'T DONE THIS
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SINCE COLLEGE.
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[ BODY THUDS ]
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>> Trent: BLACK-OWNED,
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BLACK-OPERATED.
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>> Psst!
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THE DOCTOR SAID YOU'D BE COMING.
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HERE YOU GO -- ONE BRAND-NEW,
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TOP-OF-THE-LINE TEENAGE HEART.
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>> Trent: WHERE'D YOU GET THIS?
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>> UH, I HAD A GIFT CERTIFICATE
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TO THE HEART STORE.
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>> YES!
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>> Alphonse: DAMN!
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HEY, MISTER?
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>> Alphonse: WHAT, FATTY?
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>> YOU SHOULD HAVE THIS.
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IT'S A SPECIAL DAY -- PEACE AND
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GOODWILL SHOWN TO ALL MEN FROM
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SAN DIEGO.
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>> Alphonse: THANKS, MY LITTLE
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FAT ANGEL.
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YOU KNOW, YOU'RE A REAL HERO.
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AND IF YOU SHOULD DIE BECAUSE OF
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SOME DISEASE RELATED TO YOUR
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CHILDHOOD OBESITY, LIKE DIABETES
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OR A HEART ATTACK, WELL, IT'LL
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BE A SAD DAY, LITTLE MAN.
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BUT I ALREADY HAVE DIABETES.
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>> Trent: MADE IT.
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[ DOG GROWLING ]
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NO!
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BAD!
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BAD DOG!
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DAMN IT!
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THANK YOU.
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>> NO PROBLEM.
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I HAD AN EXTRA GIFT CERTIFICATE.
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>> I'M SORRY, MR. PRESIDENT.
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IT SEEMS AGENT HAUSER DIDN'T
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MAKE IT IN EIGHT MINUTES.
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>> Trent: THAT'S RIGHT.
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I MADE IT IN SEVEN.
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>> TRENT, I'D THANK YOU, BUT I
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DON'T HAVE TIME.
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>> Trent: YOU COULD THANK ME
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RIGHT NOW.
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>> WISH I COULD, BUT I'M RUNNING
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DOWN TO THE PARADE.
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I'M PLAYING OLD MAN SAN DIEGO.
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THE CITY NEEDS ME.
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>> Trent: YOU'RE WELCOME.
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>> I DIDN'T THANK YOU!
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>> I REALLY HOPE HE MAKES IT
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DOWN TO THE PARADE IN TIME TO
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PLAY OLD MAN SAN DIEGO.
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I WOULDN'T WANT HIS HEART BOMB
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TO GO OFF BEFORE THEN.
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>> Trent: WHAT?
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>> THE PRESIDENT NEVER HAD HIS
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HEART REMOVED.
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WE HAD YOU GO TO THE BLACK
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MARKET TO BRING US A HEART BOMB
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SO YOU WOULD BE BLAMED FOR
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KILLING THE PRESIDENT OF THE
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NAVY AND ALL THE PEOPLE AT THE
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SAN DIEGO DAY PARADE.
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IT WAS A FIENDISHLY ELABORATE
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PLAN, AND YOU WALKED RIGHT INTO
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IT.
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>> Trent: HOW DID YOU KNOW THE
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FIRST HEART WOULD BE EATEN BY A
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PIT BULL?
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>> TWO STEPS AHEAD,
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AGENT HAUSER.
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MOTHER EUROPE IS ALWAYS TWO
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STEPS AHEAD.
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[ GASPS ] I'VE BEEN SHOT.
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>> Trent: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING
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ABOUT?
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YOU HAVEN'T BEEN SHOT.
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[ GUNSHOT ]
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[ CROWD MURMURING ]
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>> [ GASPS ]
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TWO STEPS AHEAD.
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>> Piper: HAPPY SAN DIEGO DAY.
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AND YOU -- WHAT DO YOU THINK,
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YOU CAN JUST LOVE ME AND LEAVE
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ME?
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>> Trent: NO.
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THERE'S NOT ENOUGH TIME.
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>> Piper: TRENT, I HAVE A CLEAR
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SHOT.
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>> Trent: IT'S TOO LATE.
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SHE'S GONE. LET HER GO.
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>> Piper: SHE'S RIGHT THERE.
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SHE'S RIGHT BY THE ELEVATOR.
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>> Trent: SHE'S A GHOST.
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WE'LL NEVER FIND HER.
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>> Piper: YOU TAKE --
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>> Trent: NOW WE JUST HAVE TO
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GET DOWNSTAIRS AND SAVE THE
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PRESIDENT AND ALL THE PEOPLE OF
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THE PEOPLE OF SAN DIEGO.
266
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,728
>> HIS HEART WILL EXPLODE IN TWO
267
00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:43,260
MINUTES.
268
00:07:43,263 --> 00:07:45,173
YOU'LL NEVER FIND ANOTHER ONE.
269
00:07:45,165 --> 00:07:47,165
>> Trent: OH, REALLY?
270
00:07:47,167 --> 00:07:48,167
YAH!
271
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:54,008
>> AAH!
272
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,177
[ GASPS ]
273
00:07:56,176 --> 00:07:57,506
>> Trent: LOOKS LIKE I FOUND
274
00:07:57,511 --> 00:08:00,211
ONE, AND I "HEARTLY" HAD TO TRY.
275
00:08:00,213 --> 00:08:02,853
>> [ GROANS ]
276
00:08:05,853 --> 00:08:07,023
>> HEY. WHAT IS THIS?
277
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,620
OH, MY GOSH, THERE'S A REAL
278
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:09,622
PERSON IN THERE!
279
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:10,293
>> [ LAUGHS ]
280
00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,660
>> THERE'S OUR PRESIDENT.
281
00:08:11,659 --> 00:08:12,029
>> HUH?
282
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,185
>> Trent: THERE'S A BOMB IN
283
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:13,863
YOUR CHEST!
284
00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:14,261
>> WHAT?
285
00:08:14,261 --> 00:08:15,601
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
286
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:16,756
>> Trent: THE DOCTOR -- HE WAS
287
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:17,834
WORKING FOR MOTHER EUROPE.
288
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,231
HE PUT A BOMB IN YOUR CHEST.
289
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,772
>> GIVE UP, DUDE.
290
00:08:20,768 --> 00:08:21,838
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT
291
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,235
IT, BRO.
292
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:25,036
>> OH, NO, NO, NO.
293
00:08:25,038 --> 00:08:26,708
COME ON!
294
00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:28,307
REALLY?!
295
00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:29,838
I DON'T WANT TO DIE.
296
00:08:29,843 --> 00:08:31,283
DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
297
00:08:31,278 --> 00:08:33,108
I ALWAYS WANTED TO BUY THAT PAIR
298
00:08:33,113 --> 00:08:33,853
OF JEANS.
299
00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,617
NOW I'M NEVER GONNA GET TO BUY
300
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:36,276
THOSE JEANS!
301
00:08:36,283 --> 00:08:38,053
>> Trent: I KNOW.
302
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,921
>> ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT.
303
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:40,850
JUST DO IT.
304
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:42,164
TAKE IT OUT OF ME AND SAVE THESE
305
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:42,955
PEOPLE'S LIVES.
306
00:08:42,956 --> 00:08:43,656
>> Trent: OKAY.
307
00:08:43,657 --> 00:08:44,787
>> JUST DO IT, TRENT.
308
00:08:44,792 --> 00:08:45,662
JUST DO IT.
309
00:08:45,659 --> 00:08:46,589
>> UGH!
310
00:08:46,594 --> 00:08:47,734
GOD, TRENT, WHAT THE HECK ARE --
311
00:08:47,728 --> 00:08:49,028
UGH! JUST KNOCK ME OUT, MAN.
312
00:08:49,029 --> 00:08:50,099
UGH!
313
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:51,227
GEEZ.
314
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,071
KNOCK ME OUT, FOR CRYING OUT --
315
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:54,566
AAH!
316
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:55,298
UGH!
317
00:08:55,302 --> 00:08:56,202
STILL AWAKE!
318
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,173
STILL!
319
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:57,910
UGH.
320
00:08:57,905 --> 00:09:00,865
AAH!
321
00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,914
UGH!
322
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:04,140
>> Trent: AH!
323
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:05,614
>> UGH!
324
00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:07,253
PUT THE -- PUT IT IN!
325
00:09:07,247 --> 00:09:09,577
PUT IT IN!
326
00:09:09,583 --> 00:09:10,783
UGH.
327
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:12,654
[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
328
00:09:12,653 --> 00:09:14,323
[ BEEPING ]
329
00:09:14,321 --> 00:09:15,891
>> Trent: THE DOCTOR'S HEART --
330
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:16,619
IT'S A BOMB.
331
00:09:16,624 --> 00:09:17,294
>> [ Middle Eastern accent ]
332
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:20,030
OF COURSE IT IS.
333
00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:20,787
>> Trent: YOU.
334
00:09:20,794 --> 00:09:21,664
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
335
00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:25,232
WE'RE ALWAYS THREE STEPS AHEAD.
336
00:09:25,232 --> 00:09:26,772
>> Trent: I THOUGHT IT WAS TWO.
337
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,037
>> WHY WOULD I SAY "TWO STEPS"?
338
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:28,935
IT MAKES NO SENSE.
339
00:09:28,936 --> 00:09:29,836
IT'S BARELY A STEP.
340
00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:31,097
WE'RE ALWAYS THREE STEPS AHEAD.
341
00:09:31,104 --> 00:09:31,974
>> Trent: IT'S WHAT I HEARD.
342
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,972
>> REGARDLESS...
343
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:37,284
[ CHOIR VOCALIZING ]
344
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:53,826
>> HEY!
345
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,727
THERE'S A DAMN BOMB IN MY CHEST!
346
00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:58,230
WHERE WE GONNA FIND A NEW HEART?
347
00:09:58,231 --> 00:09:59,271
>> Trent: I THINK I JUST FOUND A
348
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,796
NEW DONOR.
349
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:05,113
AH!
350
00:10:11,812 --> 00:10:13,952
>> * BRUSHING OFF THE DUST
351
00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:17,147
FOR SOMEONE ELSE *
352
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,190
* CORNERED TO THE CUSP
353
00:10:19,186 --> 00:10:22,256
OF SOMEONE ELSE *
354
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,085
* WE'RE CALLING THOSE AND
355
00:10:25,092 --> 00:10:32,802
FALLING PROS AND CONS *
356
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,170
* SOME MEN LIKE TO LAUGH...
357
00:10:35,168 --> 00:10:36,138
>> OH, MY GOD.
358
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:37,766
YOU GOT TO GET ME TO A HOSPITAL.
359
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,041
I'M DYING!
360
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,409
>> * SOME, THEY HATE THEIR
361
00:10:40,407 --> 00:10:41,237
LIVES AND... *
362
00:10:41,241 --> 00:10:43,311
>> AH, WHAT IS TAKING IT SO
363
00:10:43,310 --> 00:10:44,340
LONG?
364
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:45,754
IS IT BROKEN?
365
00:10:45,746 --> 00:10:48,916
>> * ...WITH MY NAUGHTY SENSE
366
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:54,886
OF CRIME *
367
00:10:54,888 --> 00:10:59,458
* ME, I'M HERE FOR THE VIEW
368
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,799
* LIKE A PHOTOGRAPH, I'LL
369
00:11:02,796 --> 00:11:05,466
FRAME YOU *
370
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:08,765
* LONELY THOUGHT FOR...
22260
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