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1
00:01:00,144 --> 00:01:01,102
LAWRENCE: Good morning.
2
00:01:01,186 --> 00:01:04,230
Because it's important
that we all get to know one another,
3
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:06,941
l would like you to wear these.
4
00:01:09,903 --> 00:01:13,406
l've taken two other courses
from you. This year.
5
00:01:14,032 --> 00:01:15,783
And you still don't
know what my name is, do you?
6
00:01:15,868 --> 00:01:17,660
l most certainly do.
7
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,162
What is it?
8
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,791
-Look, Miss Chin. . .
-You just looked.
9
00:01:28,630 --> 00:01:30,089
LAWRENCE:
The Price of Postmodernism:
10
00:01:30,174 --> 00:01:32,383
Epistemology and the Literary Canon.
11
00:01:32,468 --> 00:01:35,762
l've never had to wait this long
for a response from a publisher.
12
00:01:35,846 --> 00:01:37,555
WOMAN: He said it's unpublishable.
13
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:39,348
-He said that?
-Yes.
14
00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:42,477
Leave a message to call me.
15
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,857
Although we may think him
a curmudgeon
16
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:51,194
and see his Key to All Mythologies
as a monument to pedantry,
17
00:01:51,278 --> 00:01:54,030
she sees him
as the embodiment of virtue.
18
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:58,826
For next time, read Maud. All of it.
19
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:11,380
(LAUGHTER)
20
00:02:13,675 --> 00:02:15,468
(PEOPLE CHATTERlNG)
21
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,559
What are you doing?
22
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,276
There was a paper jam
in the Xerox machine.
23
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,862
Aren't you happy to see
your brother, Lawrence?
24
00:02:34,947 --> 00:02:36,572
Adopted brother.
25
00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:41,202
How's the kitchen knife sales?
26
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,871
Or was it aluminum siding?
How's that going?
27
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:46,207
Calling cards. lt's my new line.
28
00:02:46,291 --> 00:02:49,919
lt's all kinds of great deals,
domestic and foreign.
29
00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:54,465
We just added the tiny
island nation of Haiti. lt's a gold mine.
30
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,261
l'm glad to see
that you're doing meaningful work.
31
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:05,309
Lawrence, listen.
l wanted to ask a favor. But it's. . .
32
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:09,355
Not again, please.
l believe that l loaned you $1 ,200
33
00:03:09,439 --> 00:03:11,357
the last time that you showed up,
two years ago.
34
00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,317
And before that it was another $600 .
35
00:03:13,402 --> 00:03:14,861
And l'm going to. . .
l'm going to help you bloom.
36
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,280
Whatever it is that you're asking,
37
00:03:17,406 --> 00:03:19,073
the answer is no.
38
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:21,492
l love you.
39
00:03:49,438 --> 00:03:51,397
(KNOCKlNG AT DOOR)
40
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,742
Hey, l'm sorry to bother you,
but do you have a moment
41
00:04:02,826 --> 00:04:04,368
to discuss the character of Casaubon?
42
00:04:04,453 --> 00:04:06,746
-Do you think that Eliot. . .
-My office hours are over.
43
00:04:06,830 --> 00:04:08,706
The sign says they're till 5:00.
44
00:04:10,167 --> 00:04:12,001
Okay, but my watch says it's 4:53.
45
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,503
That is official university time.
46
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:19,592
My watch, it's actually. . .
lt gets information by satellite,
47
00:04:19,676 --> 00:04:22,219
and it's accurate
to one millionth of a second.
48
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:23,429
Take it up with maintenance.
49
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:26,891
Their offices are across the campus,
behind the stadium.
50
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:29,644
Of course, they close at 5:00 .
Good luck to you.
51
00:04:52,042 --> 00:04:53,125
(ROCK MUSlC PLAYlNG)
52
00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:54,710
Good evening.
53
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:56,671
Hey, Dad.
54
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,682
We need to discuss something.
55
00:05:07,766 --> 00:05:09,558
What is Gibraltar's?
56
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,894
l've underlined over $300
worth of items
57
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,521
you charged there last month.
58
00:05:13,605 --> 00:05:14,772
lt's an art bookstore.
59
00:05:14,856 --> 00:05:18,067
l'm taking art history
and the books are expensive.
60
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:24,907
-l didn't know you wrote poetry.
-Well, there's a lot you don't know.
61
00:05:33,375 --> 00:05:34,500
Shit!
62
00:05:55,480 --> 00:06:03,821
l need my car.
63
00:06:04,740 --> 00:06:07,783
Well, l'm going to need to see
your receipt from campus security.
64
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:09,744
Davidson will take care of it
on Monday.
65
00:06:09,828 --> 00:06:12,163
l have an arrangement with him.
66
00:06:13,123 --> 00:06:14,540
l can't give you your car
without a receipt.
67
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,292
l said Davidson will take care of it.
68
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,335
You don't even remember me, do you?
69
00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:21,505
l took your Victorian poetry class
last spring.
70
00:06:21,923 --> 00:06:23,007
Yes?
71
00:06:24,634 --> 00:06:26,260
You gave me a D.
72
00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,095
Yes, l remember.
73
00:06:29,556 --> 00:06:31,807
-Ben Onufrey.
-Ben Onufrey.
74
00:06:31,892 --> 00:06:33,392
No receipt, no vehicle.
75
00:06:33,477 --> 00:06:36,771
l can see that you take your job
very seriously.
76
00:06:36,897 --> 00:06:39,231
So how about that l offer you
77
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:42,359
$20 for your trouble?
78
00:06:43,695 --> 00:06:45,196
According to rule 1 7-B
79
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,531
in the Oarnegie Mellon University
Traffic Oitation Manual...
80
00:06:47,616 --> 00:06:50,743
Listen, you litigious little shit,
l need my briefoase.
81
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:54,288
Now stop your babbling,
open up that gate and let me in.
82
00:06:54,372 --> 00:06:55,915
The only way you'll get in there
83
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:58,292
is if you pay the fine
and bring me the receipt.
84
00:06:58,376 --> 00:07:01,170
At which point,
this "litigious little shit" . . .
85
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:23,776
(YELPS)
86
00:07:48,260 --> 00:07:49,385
Hey!
87
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:58,727
Maybe you should spend less time
memorizing parking manuals
88
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:00,896
and more time being alert!
89
00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:11,073
JANET: Mr. Wetherhold,
l need you to wake up.
90
00:08:13,702 --> 00:08:16,078
Mr. Wetherhold,
l need you to wake up.
91
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,414
l was just resting my eyes.
92
00:08:18,707 --> 00:08:20,499
Have you suffered seizures before?
93
00:08:20,584 --> 00:08:21,709
Before what?
94
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:23,294
Before tonight.
95
00:08:23,378 --> 00:08:26,797
You suffered a trauma-induced seizure
earlier this evening.
96
00:08:26,882 --> 00:08:28,257
Do you know what day
of the week it is?
97
00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,425
Yes.
98
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:31,177
Well?
99
00:08:31,970 --> 00:08:33,345
Well, what?
100
00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:38,184
Are you always this contentious,
or is this the result of the head trauma?
101
00:08:38,268 --> 00:08:40,769
l prefer language to be precise.
102
00:08:41,855 --> 00:08:45,149
Well, then you should have said,
"l prefer precise language,"
103
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:47,902
not "l prefer language to be precise."
104
00:08:49,154 --> 00:08:51,447
l'm thirsty. Would you. . .
105
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,075
You need to stay overnight
for observation.
106
00:08:55,660 --> 00:08:57,786
l need to make a phone call.
107
00:09:02,918 --> 00:09:05,127
-Did he recognize you?
-No.
108
00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,504
Well, you have aged.
109
00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:11,425
Shut up. He told me
my language was imprecise.
110
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,636
Was it? lmprecise?
111
00:09:14,304 --> 00:09:15,804
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
112
00:09:19,100 --> 00:09:20,059
Hello?
113
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,978
JANET: Hi, may l please speak
with Mrs. Wetherhold?
114
00:09:29,110 --> 00:09:30,778
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
115
00:09:32,739 --> 00:09:34,448
l'm sorry, l'm not interested.
116
00:09:34,532 --> 00:09:37,159
May l please speak
to Mrs. Wetherhold?
117
00:09:37,744 --> 00:09:41,121
She's been dead for many years.
Thank you for the painful reminder.
118
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:43,332
Whatever it is you're peddling,
l'm not interested.
119
00:09:43,416 --> 00:09:44,792
l'm calling about your father.
120
00:09:45,001 --> 00:09:47,836
He's not home.
Take us off your calling list.
121
00:09:47,963 --> 00:09:50,172
No, he's here in the ER.
He's had an accident.
122
00:09:53,343 --> 00:09:56,011
-ls he okay?
-He's fine. He's resting.
123
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:59,056
He suffered a concussion
and a trauma-induced seizure.
124
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,058
Are you familiar with
Allegheny General?
125
00:10:01,142 --> 00:10:03,102
'Cause l'm sure your father would love
to see you when he wakes.
126
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:05,688
You know,
l'm taking the SAT tomorrow.
127
00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,440
And it is 1 0:00 right now,
128
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,609
which means
l have one more hour to practice
129
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,278
before l must go to bed.
130
00:10:12,362 --> 00:10:15,990
You know, head injuries are often
more severe than they initially appear.
131
00:10:16,074 --> 00:10:17,116
And your point?
132
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,994
Well, l would hate for you
to regret something as simple
133
00:10:20,078 --> 00:10:22,371
as not visiting your father
in the hospital.
134
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:24,790
l appreciate the tip, Dr. Phil.
135
00:10:27,002 --> 00:10:27,960
Little bitch.
136
00:10:28,044 --> 00:10:29,086
Bitch.
137
00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,058
Tetanus shot.
138
00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:48,397
What happened to my car?
lt was in the impoundment lot.
139
00:10:48,690 --> 00:10:50,607
l imagine it's still there.
140
00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,901
lf anyone asks, l was mugged.
141
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,820
l'm not going to lie for you. Roll over.
142
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,405
Just be vague.
143
00:10:58,241 --> 00:10:59,575
(EXCLAlMS)
144
00:10:59,743 --> 00:11:01,201
That's good.
145
00:11:01,411 --> 00:11:02,911
There you go.
146
00:11:03,079 --> 00:11:04,830
That was well done.
147
00:11:20,764 --> 00:11:22,514
How nice of you to come.
148
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,266
So what happened to your head?
149
00:11:24,351 --> 00:11:27,186
A big guy chased me.
l climbed a fence.
150
00:11:27,979 --> 00:11:29,104
lt's all a blur.
151
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,482
Great, so now,
if l don't get the perfect score,
152
00:11:31,566 --> 00:11:33,108
at least l have someone to blame.
153
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:36,111
And that adopted brother of yours,
Chuck, called.
154
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:37,363
He left a bunch of messages,
155
00:11:37,447 --> 00:11:39,448
but l heard his voice
and deleted them all.
156
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,576
Yes, he showed up at
the office today, as well.
157
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,370
Oh !
158
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,956
lt was so nice of you to come.
l'm Dr. Hartigan.
159
00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:51,293
Now, l want you to call your brother.
160
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,921
Tell him to get my car
out of the impound lot.
161
00:11:54,005 --> 00:11:56,715
And to have it here at 9:00 a.m. sharp.
162
00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:58,967
Excuse me. No, you do that.
163
00:11:59,052 --> 00:12:01,762
You know, because of the seizure,
you can't legally drive for six months.
164
00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,889
l have to report it to the DMV.
165
00:12:03,973 --> 00:12:06,934
No, just don't report it.
Six months? Six months. . .
166
00:12:07,018 --> 00:12:08,811
l'm not being your chauffeur
for six months.
167
00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:10,729
These times are crucial.
168
00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:14,817
Young Republicans. Model UN.
National Honor Society.
169
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:19,488
l will hire a driver on Monday.
The insurance company will pay for it.
170
00:12:19,572 --> 00:12:21,782
Okay, well, if you need anything,
just have one of the nurses page me.
171
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,243
l'm here all night. Okay?
172
00:12:25,370 --> 00:12:27,538
Now, just go home and get some sleep,
173
00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,915
and you'll get that perfect SAT score.
174
00:12:29,999 --> 00:12:31,625
That's what l've been trying to do.
175
00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:33,085
Mercurial.
176
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:37,339
l learned that word in the fifth grade.
177
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:38,715
Fecundity.
178
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,052
English is my first language.
179
00:12:42,345 --> 00:12:43,595
Uxorious.
180
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:47,558
That's appropriately obscure.
Mind you, l know it.
181
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:49,768
Overly fond of one's wife.
182
00:12:49,853 --> 00:12:51,353
That's my girl.
183
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,397
l have a good one.
184
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:55,065
Eft.
185
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,901
Let me ponder.
186
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:01,989
Short in stature. Diminutive.
187
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,285
No, sorry. Eft is a young newt.
188
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:10,122
They rarely put nouns on the SAT.
189
00:13:19,257 --> 00:13:21,133
You knew that word, right?
190
00:13:21,217 --> 00:13:23,844
Of course. A young newt.
191
00:13:26,014 --> 00:13:28,891
JAMES: l don't understand why
you had to check out so early.
192
00:13:28,975 --> 00:13:31,560
l only get one Saturday morning
per week, you know.
193
00:13:31,811 --> 00:13:33,395
Cry me a river.
194
00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:37,399
LAWRENCE: Get off it, James.
195
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:39,860
JAMES: So why did you try to jump
the fence
196
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:41,153
at the impoundment lot, anyway?
197
00:13:41,237 --> 00:13:42,821
LAWRENCE:
Where did you hear about the fence?
198
00:13:42,906 --> 00:13:45,199
Two people from school
told me this morning.
199
00:13:45,283 --> 00:13:46,825
Can you please move
to the passenger seat?
200
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:50,329
l seriously doubt that sitting
on the right makes you sick.
201
00:13:50,413 --> 00:13:52,915
lf l vomit, we'll both look stupid.
202
00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:58,128
l remember when Mom used to drop
me off at kindergarten on Brighton.
203
00:13:58,213 --> 00:14:00,756
You sat in the passenger seat then.
204
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:12,351
(MAN CHATTERlNG ON TV)
205
00:14:18,233 --> 00:14:20,400
What the hell are you doing here?
206
00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:23,028
Watching a documentary
on snow apes.
207
00:14:23,112 --> 00:14:24,571
Hey, man.
208
00:14:24,739 --> 00:14:26,114
Hey, Jim.
209
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:28,116
Good to see you, Chuck.
210
00:14:28,284 --> 00:14:30,035
You look like you had
another growth spurt.
211
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:32,621
No, l don't think so.
Not since l saw you last.
212
00:14:32,705 --> 00:14:33,705
l'm too old for this.
213
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:37,125
l would like an explanation.
Why are you here?
214
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:40,712
Vanessa said that
you couldn't drive for six months.
215
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:42,589
So l'm here to help.
216
00:14:42,674 --> 00:14:45,384
VANESSA: Yeah, he's pretty sure he's
gonna move in and be your driver.
217
00:14:45,468 --> 00:14:48,136
l think l got the perfect score today.
218
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:50,264
There was one tricky math one. . .
219
00:14:50,348 --> 00:14:55,644
Did it ever occur to you that
l might not want you to drive me?
220
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,771
Let alone move in.
221
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,690
lt did occur to me,
222
00:14:59,774 --> 00:15:03,443
but Vanessa spoke
to the insurance company,
223
00:15:03,528 --> 00:15:06,029
and they're not going to pay
for a chauffeur.
224
00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:08,490
And l already wrote a letter of complaint
225
00:15:08,575 --> 00:15:10,075
and l wrote a request for an appeal.
226
00:15:10,159 --> 00:15:13,787
So, if l could just get
your signature, and l will fax it.
227
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,917
l'm a little low on cash right now.
228
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,587
l can't really afford
to get my own apartment.
229
00:15:21,671 --> 00:15:24,881
So it's kind of a win-win situation.
230
00:15:24,966 --> 00:15:27,968
No. lt's not a win-win situation.
231
00:15:28,052 --> 00:15:31,471
lt might be,
if you were even vaguely reliable,
232
00:15:32,515 --> 00:15:35,225
-but you're not.
-There's a spare room upstairs.
233
00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:37,686
-There's linens and towels. . .
-Shh. Shh.
234
00:15:40,607 --> 00:15:42,149
Thank you, Jim.
235
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:46,445
Do you even have
a valid driver's license?
236
00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:57,122
l need a ride to campus.
l will see you downstairs
237
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:59,458
-in five minutes.
-You got it!
238
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:02,711
(GROANlNG)
239
00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:37,037
Make a left.
240
00:16:41,584 --> 00:16:44,628
ROTH: We need someone
with a national scholarly reputation
241
00:16:44,712 --> 00:16:46,463
and strong leadership experience.
242
00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:50,801
Well, thank you, Martin.
l am honored to serve in the position.
243
00:16:51,010 --> 00:16:52,177
You heard?
244
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,847
Word travels fast around here.
245
00:16:55,932 --> 00:16:57,683
Usually it's a pain in the butt
to find someone
246
00:16:57,767 --> 00:16:59,476
to chair the search committee.
247
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:04,064
l thought we were hiring
from within the department.
248
00:17:04,148 --> 00:17:06,358
You told me we were hiring
from within the department.
249
00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,944
Well, everyone else
is so busy this semester.
250
00:17:09,362 --> 00:17:11,863
Delivering papers, publishing.
251
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:13,907
Have you read
what they're publishing?
252
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,617
Most of it's garbage.
253
00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,285
That's not very collegial.
254
00:17:17,370 --> 00:17:21,248
Well, neither is forcing me
to chair this search committee, Martin.
255
00:17:21,332 --> 00:17:22,791
l am busy, too.
256
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,252
When was the last time
you attended a department meeting?
257
00:17:25,336 --> 00:17:26,336
When was the last time
258
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,380
there was anything on the agenda
worth discussing?
259
00:17:28,464 --> 00:17:30,382
l need you to do this.
260
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,467
Bon appétit, Martin.
261
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:37,723
Now that Roth has forced me
to chair the search committee,
262
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:40,308
l can't very well
nominate myself now, can l?
263
00:17:40,393 --> 00:17:42,561
You should have had that position
eight years ago.
264
00:17:42,645 --> 00:17:44,563
l mean, that was a travesty
if l ever saw one.
265
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,314
You were nine years old at the time.
266
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:48,942
l will tell Roth
that this injury is too much
267
00:17:49,026 --> 00:17:51,403
and it precludes me
from heading the committee.
268
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:53,864
Why do you even want
to be head of the department?
269
00:17:53,948 --> 00:17:55,782
You don't like any of
the other professors
270
00:17:55,867 --> 00:17:58,326
and you certainly don't like
any of your students.
271
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,912
You know, James,
there was a time not too long ago
272
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:03,081
when students were
passionate about literature.
273
00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,667
Today's students are
only passionate about getting A's.
274
00:18:08,171 --> 00:18:09,671
Dick Cheney.
275
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:14,050
His daughter is a lesbian.
276
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:18,054
And while her partner is
considered to be "one of the family,"
277
00:18:18,681 --> 00:18:21,016
they never allowed her
on stage during the campaign.
278
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:23,685
Okay, well, the point is, in 2000 ,
279
00:18:23,770 --> 00:18:27,689
Cheney was the chair of Bush's
vice-presidential search committee.
280
00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:30,108
You know, he nominated himself.
281
00:18:30,693 --> 00:18:34,196
Nominating myself?
lt seems rather unethical.
282
00:18:34,781 --> 00:18:37,032
VANESSA:
lt's the democratic process.
283
00:18:37,450 --> 00:18:41,703
lf it can work
for the Vice-President of America,
284
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:44,247
it can work for you.
285
00:18:48,544 --> 00:18:50,462
HADLEY: l wanted to call you
all together, one last time,
286
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:52,798
before we were deep into final exams.
287
00:18:52,882 --> 00:18:55,509
We've received over 200 applications.
288
00:18:55,593 --> 00:18:59,554
Fewer than 1 0 of the applications
merit serious consideration.
289
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:01,097
Based on what criteria?
290
00:19:01,182 --> 00:19:05,602
The criteria listed in the official
university bylaws on faculty hires.
291
00:19:05,728 --> 00:19:06,937
When we did this before,
292
00:19:07,021 --> 00:19:09,523
we spent a few sessions
devising a rubric
293
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:11,650
for candidate evaluations.
294
00:19:11,943 --> 00:19:14,528
One based on more humanistic ideals.
295
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:18,532
A few of the better applicants
296
00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:21,159
forgot to include copies
of their student evaluations
297
00:19:21,244 --> 00:19:22,410
with their applications.
298
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,329
Personally, l find the evaluations
299
00:19:24,413 --> 00:19:27,290
that students write about me
utterly useless.
300
00:19:27,458 --> 00:19:30,293
lt's mostly just speculation
about my sexuality.
301
00:19:34,215 --> 00:19:35,799
DR. STROUSE: Try not to blink.
302
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,301
This is rather uncomfortable.
303
00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,887
Okay. We're set, Mr. Wetherhold.
304
00:19:43,432 --> 00:19:46,601
How come my follow-up
wasn't with Dr. Hartigan?
305
00:19:46,769 --> 00:19:48,562
That's because she's the head
of the ER,
306
00:19:48,646 --> 00:19:51,064
not a neurologist like myself.
307
00:19:51,148 --> 00:19:53,733
You know, she's gonna kill me
for saying this,
308
00:19:53,818 --> 00:19:57,195
but she used to be a student of yours,
years ago.
309
00:19:57,613 --> 00:19:59,865
l've had lots of students.
310
00:19:59,949 --> 00:20:02,909
l think she had a schoolgirl crush,
in effect.
311
00:20:04,662 --> 00:20:08,081
She did, did she? Are we done?
312
00:20:08,457 --> 00:20:09,583
Yeah.
313
00:20:10,751 --> 00:20:11,751
Pleasure.
314
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:14,880
JANET: Yeah. Still around.
315
00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,339
MAN: Here you go, miss.
316
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:17,799
Hi.
317
00:20:20,469 --> 00:20:23,555
How's your head?
Did you see Dr. Strouse yet?
318
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:25,849
Yes, everything is fine.
319
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,688
l figured it out.
320
00:20:32,398 --> 00:20:34,149
You were my student.
321
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,779
You must forgive me
for not remembering the other night
322
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:42,657
when they brought me into the ER.
323
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,705
Did you lose weight?
324
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:52,542
No, not at all. Same weight.
325
00:20:55,171 --> 00:20:56,504
Night.
326
00:21:07,099 --> 00:21:08,516
What are you doing?
327
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:10,018
Are these your mom's?
328
00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:12,312
Don't get mayonnaise on them.
329
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,781
You know,
you should really make your bed.
330
00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:24,491
lt sets the tone for the day.
331
00:21:25,326 --> 00:21:28,036
How do you know what tone
l wanted to set, though?
332
00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,671
Don't you think it's kind of weird
333
00:21:37,755 --> 00:21:40,799
to keep dead people's clothes
lying around?
334
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:43,677
-Yes.
-Dad's been saving them.
335
00:21:43,928 --> 00:21:46,471
lt's really not a good thing for him.
336
00:21:47,306 --> 00:21:50,725
lf we donate them to Goodwill,
we get a tax write-off,
337
00:21:52,436 --> 00:21:54,020
which is great.
338
00:21:58,109 --> 00:21:59,734
You're a monster.
339
00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:15,083
May l give you a ride home?
340
00:22:15,251 --> 00:22:19,796
No, thank you. My adopted brother
is supposed to pick me up.
341
00:22:20,089 --> 00:22:22,382
Are you sure? lt's pretty cold.
342
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:33,685
Okay, thank you.
343
00:22:33,936 --> 00:22:35,145
Here.
344
00:23:01,964 --> 00:23:04,049
CHUCK:
Don't forget the tax receipt.
345
00:23:04,133 --> 00:23:05,300
Right.
346
00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:09,471
JANET: You know, you can sit up front
if you want.
347
00:23:10,056 --> 00:23:12,390
That's okay. l'm fine.
348
00:23:12,808 --> 00:23:13,933
l get
349
00:23:15,019 --> 00:23:18,563
nauseated if l ride
on the right-hand side of the car.
350
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:25,570
Dr. Strouse said l was fine
351
00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:28,323
and l was wondering
if you could call the DMV
352
00:23:28,407 --> 00:23:31,326
and have them repeal
my driving restriction.
353
00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:33,495
That's not how it works.
354
00:23:38,084 --> 00:23:40,460
So what are you teaching
this semester?
355
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:43,838
l'm teaching two sections
about the Victorians.
356
00:23:44,507 --> 00:23:46,424
Do you like the Victorians?
357
00:23:46,509 --> 00:23:47,884
l used to.
358
00:23:53,140 --> 00:23:55,433
-The Victorian novel, huh?
-Hmm.
359
00:23:55,893 --> 00:23:58,853
Wow, how many times
can you read Bleak House?
360
00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:00,980
You never tire of Bleak House.
361
00:24:01,065 --> 00:24:04,192
l can always find something new
to say about it.
362
00:24:14,245 --> 00:24:16,871
Don't you have anything better to do?
363
00:24:19,458 --> 00:24:20,667
(SlGHS)
364
00:24:30,094 --> 00:24:31,761
You need to relax.
365
00:24:31,971 --> 00:24:34,389
You need to relax. l need to study.
366
00:24:40,646 --> 00:24:44,190
Great, l'm in an after-school special.
367
00:24:44,358 --> 00:24:46,776
You know, your dad used to smoke
all the time
368
00:24:46,861 --> 00:24:47,902
when he was in grad school.
369
00:24:47,987 --> 00:24:48,987
Oh, yeah?
370
00:24:49,071 --> 00:24:52,157
He was too scared to buy it,
so l'd have to do it for him.
371
00:24:52,241 --> 00:24:54,409
They called him Hookah Larry.
372
00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:58,121
Look, your pathetic attempts
to manipulate me,
373
00:24:58,205 --> 00:25:00,331
they're never going to work.
374
00:25:02,751 --> 00:25:06,588
(SPEAKlNG SPANlSH)
375
00:25:21,604 --> 00:25:24,105
Okay, shut up and give it to me.
376
00:25:25,482 --> 00:25:27,775
lf this gives me brain damage,
377
00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:31,029
l will kill you.
378
00:25:35,534 --> 00:25:39,370
VANESSA: Lupita is crying over Pedro,
who is being abused by Manuel.
379
00:25:39,455 --> 00:25:41,206
She's going to leave Manuel,
you know.
380
00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:43,124
He's such a machismo.
381
00:25:45,336 --> 00:25:47,795
She's going to move in with Diego.
382
00:25:47,963 --> 00:25:50,298
He's really handsome and built.
383
00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:55,011
lf your Spanish were better,
you would see all of that.
384
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:07,732
LAWRENCE: Thank you for driving me.
385
00:26:07,816 --> 00:26:09,609
You're welcome.
386
00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:16,741
This is your house, right?
387
00:26:18,786 --> 00:26:19,911
Yes.
388
00:26:31,298 --> 00:26:34,467
Shit. Wait! Wait! Wait!
389
00:26:36,553 --> 00:26:38,179
(CHUCKLlNG)
390
00:26:38,639 --> 00:26:40,348
l forgot this.
391
00:26:46,814 --> 00:26:48,189
Would you
392
00:26:48,274 --> 00:26:50,358
like to have a face-to-face
393
00:26:50,943 --> 00:26:53,027
conversation sometime?
394
00:26:54,113 --> 00:26:57,448
We could finish our
discussion of Victorian literature.
395
00:26:57,533 --> 00:27:01,869
We weren't really having a
conversation about Victorian literature.
396
00:27:05,124 --> 00:27:07,250
l suppose l'd have to drive.
397
00:27:08,627 --> 00:27:10,753
l hadn't thought of that.
398
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,759
How about Friday night at 7:30
399
00:27:16,844 --> 00:27:19,178
for a face-to-face conversation?
400
00:27:19,263 --> 00:27:21,014
That would work.
401
00:27:23,058 --> 00:27:24,559
Okay, bye.
402
00:27:33,485 --> 00:27:34,485
(DOOR CLOSlNG)
403
00:27:39,283 --> 00:27:41,284
Smell something burning?
404
00:27:42,661 --> 00:27:45,204
Maybe cannabis?
405
00:27:47,541 --> 00:27:48,916
Are you mad?
406
00:27:49,710 --> 00:27:53,671
l waited outside
the medical center for eons.
407
00:27:55,049 --> 00:27:56,591
Where were you?
408
00:27:57,009 --> 00:27:59,344
Helping Vanessa with her Spanish.
409
00:28:00,971 --> 00:28:03,014
Lost track of time, sorry.
410
00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,612
Where'd you get that?
411
00:28:19,198 --> 00:28:20,198
The closet.
412
00:28:20,282 --> 00:28:22,867
l told him Wellesley
was a women's college.
413
00:28:23,660 --> 00:28:24,994
That's Caroline's sweatshirt.
414
00:28:25,079 --> 00:28:27,955
That, too. l told him that, too. l told him
415
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:30,208
it was Mom's sweatshirt.
416
00:28:30,292 --> 00:28:31,292
(CLEARS THROAT)
417
00:28:32,044 --> 00:28:34,212
Take it off, please.
418
00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:40,551
Did it ever occur to you
that l might be saving that sweatshirt?
419
00:28:40,636 --> 00:28:42,428
Please don't rip it.
420
00:28:52,940 --> 00:28:55,400
(WHlSPERlNG) l think
he may have smelled the pot.
421
00:28:55,484 --> 00:28:58,403
"l told him Wellesley
was a women's college."
422
00:28:59,363 --> 00:29:01,864
God, what a narc.
423
00:29:29,184 --> 00:29:32,228
CHUCK: You know, we didn't just
donate her clothes on a whim.
424
00:29:32,312 --> 00:29:35,106
We did it for your
psychological well-being.
425
00:29:35,190 --> 00:29:37,233
Will you wait in the car?
426
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:49,120
Let's see, "Professor Wetherhold
is a conceited dickhead,"
427
00:29:49,204 --> 00:29:52,039
"An asshole," "Unfair. . ."
428
00:29:52,124 --> 00:29:53,124
Here's one.
429
00:29:53,208 --> 00:29:54,625
What does it say?
430
00:29:54,710 --> 00:29:56,210
"Professor Wetherhold
is knowledgeable,
431
00:29:56,295 --> 00:29:58,588
"but he doesn't impart that knowledge
to his students.
432
00:29:58,672 --> 00:30:00,882
"He barked information at us
all semester,
433
00:30:00,966 --> 00:30:03,176
"and then he complained
when our papers did not measure up
434
00:30:03,260 --> 00:30:05,219
"to his bizarre standards."
435
00:30:05,554 --> 00:30:07,138
l'll dig deeper.
436
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:14,312
JAMES: Hey, can we go to the mall
tonight instead of this afternoon?
437
00:30:14,396 --> 00:30:16,189
There's, like, three games
l want to watch.
438
00:30:16,273 --> 00:30:18,608
l can't go to the mall tonight.
439
00:30:19,234 --> 00:30:21,235
-Why's that?
-l'm busy.
440
00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:24,822
Yeah, busy with what?
l fucking gotta go to the mall.
441
00:30:24,907 --> 00:30:26,782
LAWRENCE: l have an appointment.
442
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:28,910
-CHUCK: Really?
-Yes.
443
00:30:29,077 --> 00:30:30,328
With who?
444
00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:33,581
-With none of your business.
-An appointment with whom?
445
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:34,749
None of your business.
446
00:30:34,833 --> 00:30:37,585
l just want to know. God !
447
00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:41,214
Dr. Hartigan.
448
00:30:42,841 --> 00:30:44,842
-l knew it.
-Good work.
449
00:30:45,636 --> 00:30:48,513
You spend $50 on dinner,
450
00:30:48,597 --> 00:30:51,432
that's grounds for intercourse
with "none of your business."
451
00:30:51,517 --> 00:30:55,228
Dad, if there are any romantic inklings,
you're simply not ready.
452
00:30:55,312 --> 00:30:58,481
l mean the sociosexual
mores have really shifted.
453
00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:03,277
And look, let's not forget
the stigma attached to widowers.
454
00:31:04,154 --> 00:31:08,616
Widowers. At some point the statute
of limitations has gotta run out on that.
455
00:31:08,784 --> 00:31:11,410
We're not talking about this anymore.
456
00:31:14,706 --> 00:31:17,708
Don't freak out and sabotage it
like you always do.
457
00:31:17,793 --> 00:31:20,336
l don't always freak out
and sabotage it.
458
00:31:20,420 --> 00:31:23,631
Yeah, well, this hospital is littered
with men you've left in your wake.
459
00:31:23,715 --> 00:31:26,968
lt's littered with men
you've left in your wake, too.
460
00:31:27,052 --> 00:31:29,554
-What are you doing?
-Nothing.
461
00:31:29,972 --> 00:31:33,307
Nothing. l'm just reading something.
l'll call you back, okay?
462
00:31:56,415 --> 00:31:57,748
-Hi.
-Hi, there.
463
00:31:57,833 --> 00:31:59,250
How are you?
464
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,046
What are you doing here?
465
00:32:04,506 --> 00:32:05,840
Excuse me?
466
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:11,512
He's kind of a fragile guy.
467
00:32:12,306 --> 00:32:14,765
You know, he's not ready for this.
468
00:32:15,017 --> 00:32:17,351
He's fragile? What do you mean?
469
00:32:18,812 --> 00:32:21,439
You know what?
lt's quite predatory, actually.
470
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:25,776
Have you forgotten about
the Hippocratic oath you took,
471
00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:27,945
about not fucking your patients?
472
00:32:29,156 --> 00:32:31,657
Your father's no longer my patient.
473
00:32:49,468 --> 00:32:50,343
We respond to literary texts
474
00:32:51,261 --> 00:32:55,264
using precisely the same
fundamental interpretive categories
475
00:32:55,349 --> 00:32:57,642
as authors and poets use
to create them.
476
00:32:57,726 --> 00:33:01,187
So there's no need to posit
any kind of unstable ontology
477
00:33:01,271 --> 00:33:02,980
or ruptured consciousness.
478
00:33:03,065 --> 00:33:04,565
-Are you following me?
-Yeah.
479
00:33:04,650 --> 00:33:06,442
Any coffee?
Something from the desert menu?
480
00:33:06,526 --> 00:33:08,611
-Yeah. l want. . .
-lt's too late for coffee.
481
00:33:09,613 --> 00:33:10,988
l'll tell you what.
482
00:33:11,073 --> 00:33:14,909
One piece of chocolate cake
and two forks, two plates.
483
00:33:16,286 --> 00:33:18,329
-So no one. . .
-Thank you.
484
00:33:18,413 --> 00:33:22,667
. . .has ever looked at this process
of cultural criticism through the. . .
485
00:33:22,751 --> 00:33:24,126
45 minutes.
486
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,880
-Excuse me?
-45 minutes.
487
00:33:28,757 --> 00:33:32,468
That's how long it's been
since l've uttered a single word.
488
00:33:34,096 --> 00:33:36,180
l mean, do you even know
where l'm from?
489
00:33:36,264 --> 00:33:37,682
Where l grew up, where l live?
490
00:33:37,766 --> 00:33:39,350
Do you know anything
about my family?
491
00:33:39,434 --> 00:33:41,560
What kind of day did l have?
492
00:33:41,978 --> 00:33:44,647
Well, if you actually did want to know,
493
00:33:44,940 --> 00:33:47,650
l was having a great day
until about 30 minutes ago
494
00:33:47,734 --> 00:33:49,985
when l realized
you weren't gonna shut up.
495
00:33:50,779 --> 00:33:56,283
ln fact, you actually gave me a C
in your course.
496
00:33:56,368 --> 00:33:58,703
You said my paper was sophomoric.
497
00:33:59,121 --> 00:34:00,788
l was a freshman.
498
00:34:01,123 --> 00:34:03,374
That's not what sophomoric means.
499
00:34:03,458 --> 00:34:05,501
l know. See, l know that.
500
00:34:06,586 --> 00:34:08,045
You know, the other night
when l drove you home,
501
00:34:08,130 --> 00:34:11,298
l actually thought l saw
a different side of you.
502
00:34:12,134 --> 00:34:17,054
But now l'm back to thinking
you're the same pompous windbag
503
00:34:17,139 --> 00:34:19,724
who made me switch my major
from English to Biology.
504
00:34:19,808 --> 00:34:23,769
Well. Certainly an established
physician is not harboring resentment
505
00:34:23,854 --> 00:34:26,188
for a grade she received
more than 1 0 years ago.
506
00:34:26,273 --> 00:34:27,982
This was a mistake.
507
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:30,985
Your daughter was right.
508
00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,320
Thank you.
509
00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:37,032
lt's probably better
if you get a cab home.
510
00:34:49,713 --> 00:34:54,300
l take it by your presence here at 8:45,
you did not get laid.
511
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:56,927
(KNOCKlNG AT DOOR)
512
00:34:57,012 --> 00:34:59,388
Yeah, come in, unless it's Chuck.
513
00:35:01,266 --> 00:35:02,308
l'm back.
514
00:35:02,392 --> 00:35:03,392
Thank God.
515
00:35:08,231 --> 00:35:10,232
This is a good-sized room.
516
00:35:10,650 --> 00:35:13,861
Yeah, l'm pretty sure
you've been in here before.
517
00:35:17,699 --> 00:35:20,034
Do you think l'm self-absorbed?
518
00:35:21,787 --> 00:35:24,371
l think self-absorption's underrated.
519
00:35:26,833 --> 00:35:29,752
l think everyone needs
some compassion,
520
00:35:29,836 --> 00:35:33,631
some capacity for sympathy, empathy.
521
00:35:34,883 --> 00:35:36,550
-Right?
-Dad,
522
00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:41,055
Theresa Sternbridge practically runs
a soup kitchen,
523
00:35:41,223 --> 00:35:45,643
and she's always seen posing
in photos with crack babies
524
00:35:45,769 --> 00:35:48,521
and dying, old, crusty ladies.
525
00:35:49,731 --> 00:35:51,524
And do you know why?
526
00:35:52,484 --> 00:35:56,320
She scored in the 45th percentile
on her SAT.
527
00:35:58,782 --> 00:36:02,409
People like you and me
don't need to compensate.
528
00:36:03,787 --> 00:36:05,746
You know, l'm glad you're home early.
529
00:36:05,831 --> 00:36:07,665
That physician wasn't good for you.
530
00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:10,960
Too young and kind of uncultured,
531
00:36:11,044 --> 00:36:14,421
like oh-so-many
in the medical profession. . .
532
00:36:15,423 --> 00:36:17,800
l thought of the perfect new title
for your book.
533
00:36:25,642 --> 00:36:26,809
Right?
534
00:36:28,103 --> 00:36:29,478
Good night.
535
00:36:29,688 --> 00:36:30,938
Bonsoir.
536
00:36:50,750 --> 00:36:55,796
MAN: (SlNGlNG)
Someone please shed some light
537
00:36:56,256 --> 00:37:01,218
Where is the narrator in my life
538
00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:06,974
Maybe he doesn't know where l've fled
539
00:37:07,100 --> 00:37:11,395
Running through the city in my head
540
00:37:13,523 --> 00:37:18,485
l shed regret
541
00:37:54,481 --> 00:37:55,814
(SCREAMS)
542
00:38:10,288 --> 00:38:12,247
What are you doing here?
543
00:38:12,374 --> 00:38:14,375
That gurney was sterile.
544
00:38:15,210 --> 00:38:17,962
l re-read your essay.
545
00:38:18,129 --> 00:38:19,129
And. . .
546
00:38:20,006 --> 00:38:22,299
At first l considered
giving it a higher grade,
547
00:38:22,384 --> 00:38:25,970
but then, l decided
that the C should stick.
548
00:38:27,681 --> 00:38:30,140
Do you honestly think
that l care about a grade l received
549
00:38:30,225 --> 00:38:31,976
when l was a freshman in college?
550
00:38:32,060 --> 00:38:34,895
l mean, l admit that the paper,
as you originally wrote,
551
00:38:34,980 --> 00:38:38,482
"lacks a clear focus
and rambles like a bad folk song."
552
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:42,903
But l read it again the other day
and its thesis is really quite good.
553
00:38:46,366 --> 00:38:50,786
l should have been more diplomatic
and less pompous as your professor
554
00:38:51,246 --> 00:38:53,455
and as your dinner date.
555
00:38:53,915 --> 00:38:55,040
True.
556
00:38:56,251 --> 00:38:57,876
l'm just out of practice.
557
00:38:57,961 --> 00:39:01,338
What? Usually you're better
at masking your pomposity?
558
00:39:01,506 --> 00:39:04,299
Could we give this
559
00:39:06,428 --> 00:39:09,304
face-to-face conversation
one more try?
560
00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:14,852
l haven't been on a date in a while.
561
00:39:19,607 --> 00:39:22,109
l'd have to drive again, l suppose.
562
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:28,866
(SlGHS)
563
00:39:36,291 --> 00:39:37,916
VANESSA: Merry Christmas!
564
00:39:57,312 --> 00:39:59,980
(CAR ENGlNE STALLlNG)
565
00:40:08,823 --> 00:40:10,074
Fuck!
566
00:40:10,950 --> 00:40:13,327
lt was clever of you
to reserve the same table.
567
00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:17,664
l wanted to make sure
that l had an authentic second chance.
568
00:40:22,504 --> 00:40:24,046
Would you like
to start with some wine?
569
00:40:24,130 --> 00:40:26,715
Well, l'm on call tonight,
so l can't drink.
570
00:40:28,426 --> 00:40:31,011
-You're on call?
-Yeah.
571
00:40:31,679 --> 00:40:34,098
So this date may end at any moment?
572
00:40:34,808 --> 00:40:36,225
Well, if l'm paged, yes.
573
00:40:36,309 --> 00:40:37,559
-l can come back in a minute.
-No, no.
574
00:40:37,644 --> 00:40:40,521
lt's okay. lt's okay.
l will have the lobster,
575
00:40:40,688 --> 00:40:43,649
and a house salad, and
the house dressing on the side, please.
576
00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:44,900
And for you, sir?
577
00:40:44,984 --> 00:40:46,610
Oh, yes, the clock is ticking.
578
00:40:46,694 --> 00:40:48,946
l'm going to have the cod
579
00:40:49,030 --> 00:40:53,492
and house salad,
house dressing on the side.
580
00:41:04,379 --> 00:41:07,131
l'm sorry l called you
an arrogant windbag the other night.
581
00:41:07,215 --> 00:41:09,550
You called me a pompous windbag.
582
00:41:12,512 --> 00:41:15,722
So have you heard back yet from any
of the publishers about your book?
583
00:41:15,849 --> 00:41:19,726
Did you ever tell me
where you're from?
584
00:41:19,811 --> 00:41:21,353
Well, how long ago did you send it?
585
00:41:21,437 --> 00:41:24,648
Well, a few weeks ago.
What did your parents do?
586
00:41:26,568 --> 00:41:28,318
-What are you doing?
-What do you mean?
587
00:41:28,403 --> 00:41:30,028
l'm asking you about the book.
588
00:41:30,113 --> 00:41:32,823
Yes, and l'm not taking the bait, am l?
589
00:41:34,325 --> 00:41:36,827
Come on, l'm interested in the book.
590
00:41:40,206 --> 00:41:44,626
lt's been rejected by a few publishers.
591
00:41:47,213 --> 00:41:50,048
Actually, it's been rejected
by everyone, so. . .
592
00:41:52,343 --> 00:41:54,094
Rejection is tough.
593
00:41:55,471 --> 00:41:57,514
lt can scar you for life.
594
00:41:58,391 --> 00:41:59,349
But you can rewrite it.
595
00:41:59,434 --> 00:42:01,643
You can, you know,
send it out again, can't you?
596
00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:03,270
(SlGHS)
597
00:42:12,614 --> 00:42:14,239
lt's about time!
598
00:42:21,581 --> 00:42:23,415
That's some real riveting shit there.
599
00:42:23,499 --> 00:42:26,043
You Young Republicans
really know how to party.
600
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:28,045
Bet you guys are a lot of fun
on Friday nights.
601
00:42:28,129 --> 00:42:29,504
l have fun.
602
00:42:30,006 --> 00:42:33,550
You're at a Hitler Youth Rally
the first night of Christmas break.
603
00:42:33,635 --> 00:42:36,136
My fun is just a little more cerebral
than yours.
604
00:42:36,221 --> 00:42:39,264
Come on. When was the last time
you did something bad?
605
00:42:39,349 --> 00:42:42,893
Or subversive? Huh?
Like a normal teenager.
606
00:42:42,977 --> 00:42:43,977
Do you know what you're doing?
607
00:42:44,812 --> 00:42:45,854
Jesus.
608
00:42:45,939 --> 00:42:49,316
l bet you never cheated
or stole anything.
609
00:42:49,651 --> 00:42:51,068
Or jaywalked.
610
00:42:51,152 --> 00:42:54,571
Well, l've smoked pot
with my perverted uncle.
611
00:42:54,656 --> 00:42:57,449
Okay, that was because l coerced you.
612
00:42:58,117 --> 00:43:00,327
You didn't do that of your own volition.
You know what?
613
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:03,914
You're really in jeopardy of becoming
a 1 7-year-old robot.
614
00:43:03,998 --> 00:43:05,249
Okay, shut up.
615
00:43:05,333 --> 00:43:07,626
'Cause you really don't know me.
616
00:43:08,211 --> 00:43:11,505
l actually got accepted to Stanford
two weeks ago.
617
00:43:14,467 --> 00:43:17,552
Really? But Carnegie Mellon is free
for you.
618
00:43:17,637 --> 00:43:21,306
And Stanford's, l don't know,
$600-$700 a year.
619
00:43:21,391 --> 00:43:23,850
40 grand, actually.
620
00:43:26,688 --> 00:43:29,189
Well, your father is gonna kill you.
621
00:43:29,941 --> 00:43:33,694
But for the time being,
l'm filled with pride.
622
00:43:35,697 --> 00:43:38,782
Come on, little mermaid,
let's go celebrate.
623
00:43:50,253 --> 00:43:53,088
Think older. You'll appear older.
624
00:43:53,172 --> 00:43:57,134
l want you to grab that table.
l'm gonna get a pitcher of beer.
625
00:43:58,219 --> 00:44:02,597
MAN: (SlNGlNG)
There's too many things l can't afford
626
00:44:04,559 --> 00:44:09,021
So what do you mean when you say
627
00:44:10,982 --> 00:44:14,901
Keep your eye out, there's a guy
over there that used to be a woman.
628
00:44:15,028 --> 00:44:16,611
LlNSEY:
Out on the town with Grandpa?
629
00:44:16,696 --> 00:44:17,988
Fuck off.
630
00:44:18,656 --> 00:44:20,866
-Those seem like nice girls.
-Yeah.
631
00:44:22,660 --> 00:44:26,913
l wouldn't wanna rush you
lose you
632
00:44:26,998 --> 00:44:28,582
Fuss you
633
00:44:29,667 --> 00:44:32,169
But l love love love you
634
00:44:32,253 --> 00:44:33,920
That's disgusting.
635
00:44:35,214 --> 00:44:36,923
That is disgusting.
636
00:44:41,012 --> 00:44:42,971
You must miss your wife.
637
00:44:45,224 --> 00:44:47,184
Sorry, l shouldn't be so direct.
638
00:44:47,268 --> 00:44:50,687
lf my wife, Caroline,
were here right now,
639
00:44:50,772 --> 00:44:53,607
she would be telling me
to stop pitying myself.
640
00:44:55,151 --> 00:44:58,945
She was a lovely,
funny, intelligent woman.
641
00:44:59,781 --> 00:45:02,032
And she'd want you to know it.
642
00:45:02,283 --> 00:45:06,536
But she'd also advise me
not to talk about my dead wife
643
00:45:06,621 --> 00:45:10,957
on a date with a beautiful woman.
644
00:45:14,379 --> 00:45:16,630
And she'd be wondering
645
00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:20,926
when l was going to get around
to kissing you.
646
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:29,851
(SlNGlNG) l wouldn't wanna rush you
lose you
647
00:45:29,936 --> 00:45:31,353
Fuss you
648
00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:35,774
l wouldn't wanna rush you
lose you
649
00:45:36,275 --> 00:45:37,609
Fuss you
650
00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:41,405
But l love love love you
651
00:45:42,698 --> 00:45:45,117
Love love love you
652
00:45:45,201 --> 00:45:48,912
Said l love love love you
653
00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:52,082
Love love love you
654
00:45:52,166 --> 00:45:55,961
What is it like being stupid?
655
00:45:56,379 --> 00:45:59,464
What's it like sitting alone
at lunch every day?
656
00:45:59,882 --> 00:46:01,174
lt sucks.
657
00:46:02,677 --> 00:46:04,261
Come with me.
658
00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:05,345
(CHUCKLlNG)
659
00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:23,530
l'm
660
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:29,244
not used to condoms,
but l thought it went okay.
661
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:32,873
Very nice.
662
00:46:36,335 --> 00:46:39,421
'Cause l just don't want
to blow it with you.
663
00:46:45,887 --> 00:46:48,388
LAWRENCE:
Do you have any plans for Christmas?
664
00:46:53,686 --> 00:46:56,188
Will you excuse me for a minute?
665
00:47:01,402 --> 00:47:04,988
'Cause my daughter, Vanessa,
makes quite a spread.
666
00:47:32,350 --> 00:47:33,975
l was just paged.
667
00:47:39,315 --> 00:47:41,858
l haven't been up this late in years.
668
00:47:41,943 --> 00:47:46,696
(SlNGlNG) lf this were a book
lt'd start with a line
669
00:47:46,781 --> 00:47:52,827
l once knew a man
l was his and he was mine
670
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:57,791
So predictable
So confused
671
00:47:58,584 --> 00:48:05,465
l'm at a loss for words
to explain my mood
672
00:48:06,551 --> 00:48:12,973
l stitch this bow
into the bottom of my dress
673
00:48:33,327 --> 00:48:35,370
VANESSA: Linsey hates me, you know?
674
00:48:36,330 --> 00:48:38,748
Brooke hates me. Everybody hates me.
675
00:48:38,833 --> 00:48:45,297
CHUCK: Well, if you tell people they're
stupid, they'll usually hate you.
676
00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:49,009
And l wasn't completely
677
00:48:50,011 --> 00:48:53,972
congenial when you first came.
678
00:49:02,648 --> 00:49:04,149
You're right.
679
00:49:04,358 --> 00:49:07,068
-But you like me now.
-l like you now.
680
00:49:10,031 --> 00:49:11,281
Vanessa,
681
00:49:13,200 --> 00:49:14,534
come on. . .
682
00:49:15,369 --> 00:49:18,121
You're adopted. lt's not like it's. . .
683
00:49:19,081 --> 00:49:20,999
Biblical. . .
684
00:49:22,835 --> 00:49:24,878
You just want to fuck
that trashy waitress.
685
00:49:24,962 --> 00:49:27,172
Yeah, that's none of your business.
686
00:49:27,256 --> 00:49:31,217
You're drunk
and you're 1 7 and you're my niece.
687
00:49:31,302 --> 00:49:36,222
-My shoe.
-Great idea, giving you beer.
688
00:49:44,607 --> 00:49:45,982
Come on.
689
00:49:48,110 --> 00:49:49,361
VANESSA: Hey, you !
690
00:49:50,196 --> 00:49:51,655
Are you drunk?
691
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:52,739
(SCOFFS)
692
00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:56,993
-Did you get her drunk?
-No.
693
00:49:57,078 --> 00:50:00,080
-She seems drunk.
-She's drunk.
694
00:50:04,710 --> 00:50:06,378
How was your date?
695
00:50:07,129 --> 00:50:09,047
You're a giant toddler.
696
00:50:11,342 --> 00:50:13,009
Mom and Dad
did you absolutely no favors,
697
00:50:13,094 --> 00:50:17,931
allowing you to become
the immature scam artist that you are.
698
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:06,479
Vanessa, did anyone call me today?
699
00:51:07,982 --> 00:51:10,984
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, a telemarketer.
700
00:51:11,110 --> 00:51:12,610
lt was a man.
701
00:51:13,112 --> 00:51:15,321
You're acting very desperate.
702
00:51:21,495 --> 00:51:23,037
l got it.
703
00:51:23,581 --> 00:51:24,581
(SlGHS)
704
00:51:25,583 --> 00:51:27,584
Will you stop avoiding me?
705
00:51:28,502 --> 00:51:29,919
l was drunk.
706
00:51:31,839 --> 00:51:32,922
l'm not avoiding you.
707
00:51:33,007 --> 00:51:36,134
l just need some time alone, please.
708
00:51:47,021 --> 00:51:48,354
Thank you.
709
00:52:22,932 --> 00:52:26,100
Hi, Janet, sorry to leave you
yet another message,
710
00:52:26,185 --> 00:52:28,478
but l realized that you may not have
my phone number,
711
00:52:28,562 --> 00:52:31,272
and that's why you haven't
called me back.
712
00:52:31,899 --> 00:52:33,399
My number is...
713
00:52:47,122 --> 00:52:50,500
JAMES: Didn't you prove the other night
that you can't hold your alcohol?
714
00:52:50,584 --> 00:52:52,710
l'm having one glass, moron.
715
00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:57,799
And l chose this Beaujolais
specifically to go with the ham.
716
00:53:08,352 --> 00:53:12,063
Neither of you is old enough
to be drinking.
717
00:53:15,609 --> 00:53:16,609
Dude.
718
00:53:18,153 --> 00:53:19,863
Let's all just get drunk.
719
00:53:19,947 --> 00:53:22,240
l need something
to wash down this rubber ham.
720
00:53:22,324 --> 00:53:25,743
Actually, l downloaded the recipe
from the lnternet.
721
00:53:26,537 --> 00:53:29,038
l translated it from Old French.
722
00:53:29,582 --> 00:53:32,292
lt dates all the way back to Louis XlV.
723
00:53:32,376 --> 00:53:33,710
And he was the one
that actually decided
724
00:53:33,794 --> 00:53:36,045
dishes should be served in courses,
725
00:53:36,130 --> 00:53:40,550
because before that,
it was served as this big pile of food. . .
726
00:53:40,634 --> 00:53:43,887
Maybe you messed up the translation,
and that's why it tastes like burnt tires.
727
00:53:43,971 --> 00:53:46,931
Well, if you'd like,
l could jam that up your ass for you?
728
00:53:47,016 --> 00:53:49,767
That's enough. Enough.
729
00:53:54,315 --> 00:53:56,482
-Well, this is cheerful.
-Shut up.
730
00:53:56,567 --> 00:53:58,276
(DOORBELL RlNGlNG)
731
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:02,488
Who would think to interrupt
this perfect Christmas dinner?
732
00:54:15,044 --> 00:54:16,878
-Hi.
-Hi.
733
00:54:17,421 --> 00:54:18,922
You're the doctor girlfriend, right?
734
00:54:19,006 --> 00:54:21,466
You're the adopted brother, right?
735
00:54:23,010 --> 00:54:25,219
Well, you don't appear to be boring.
736
00:54:25,304 --> 00:54:28,765
Well, you've just met me.
For all you know, l'm quite boring.
737
00:54:28,849 --> 00:54:30,558
You've presented yourself here,
738
00:54:30,643 --> 00:54:33,061
uninvited and unannounced
for Christmas dinner.
739
00:54:33,145 --> 00:54:36,064
That is not boring. And the cake?
740
00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:41,110
Lexotonin? That's an antidepressant.
741
00:54:41,195 --> 00:54:43,529
l stole it from the break room.
742
00:54:44,782 --> 00:54:47,575
-Am l interrupting anything?
-No, welcome.
743
00:54:47,910 --> 00:54:49,911
We could use a little antivenom
in the snake pit.
744
00:54:49,995 --> 00:54:52,872
Thank you very much.
Move along, thank you.
745
00:54:52,957 --> 00:54:53,998
Hi.
746
00:54:54,541 --> 00:54:56,125
Hi. Merry Christmas.
747
00:54:56,210 --> 00:54:57,835
Merry Christmas.
748
00:55:10,057 --> 00:55:12,058
The woman brought a cake.
749
00:55:15,104 --> 00:55:16,312
Hello.
750
00:55:18,774 --> 00:55:20,024
Vanessa!
751
00:55:20,109 --> 00:55:22,235
l'm getting the physician a plate!
752
00:55:46,760 --> 00:55:49,345
My, what a generous portion.
753
00:55:49,430 --> 00:55:50,471
Enjoy.
754
00:55:50,556 --> 00:55:52,432
JAMES: Well, Vanessa here
is the perfect little housewife.
755
00:55:52,516 --> 00:55:53,725
l mean, daughter.
756
00:55:53,809 --> 00:55:55,601
Yes, if, by perfect, you mean
757
00:55:55,686 --> 00:56:00,064
not retarded/suffering from
insurmountable credit card debt,
758
00:56:00,149 --> 00:56:02,442
then, yes, l am indeed perfect.
759
00:56:02,526 --> 00:56:05,069
Would you two please stop bickering?
760
00:56:05,487 --> 00:56:08,614
These children haven't
been properly parented in many years.
761
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:09,907
That's why l was brought in.
762
00:56:09,992 --> 00:56:12,827
To ensure that they don't
kill each other.
763
00:56:14,621 --> 00:56:16,247
Merry Christmas.
764
00:56:20,586 --> 00:56:21,794
Please.
765
00:56:24,715 --> 00:56:26,966
"So much depends upon
766
00:56:27,051 --> 00:56:28,051
"a red wheelbarrow. . ."
767
00:56:28,635 --> 00:56:30,762
William Carlos Williams.
768
00:56:31,055 --> 00:56:32,805
He was a physician.
769
00:56:33,390 --> 00:56:35,016
Yes, l know that.
770
00:56:36,226 --> 00:56:40,271
Many considered him to be an imagist,
but he was really more of a modernist,
771
00:56:40,355 --> 00:56:42,482
eschewing the poetic traditions
of Europe,
772
00:56:42,566 --> 00:56:45,651
in favor of celebrating
everyday circumstances.
773
00:56:47,863 --> 00:56:49,489
But l digress.
774
00:56:51,909 --> 00:56:54,660
l like suburban Pittsburgh
for Christmas.
775
00:56:55,079 --> 00:56:57,330
Yes, it's really glamorous.
776
00:56:57,831 --> 00:56:59,123
You're in the
777
00:57:00,167 --> 00:57:03,127
Paris of Western Pennsylvania.
778
00:57:06,715 --> 00:57:09,133
l'm really glad that you stopped by.
779
00:57:19,853 --> 00:57:22,730
l just saw Dad and the physician
kissing in the den.
780
00:57:22,815 --> 00:57:24,524
l am going to puke.
781
00:57:24,817 --> 00:57:27,860
Why does physical affection
bother you so much?
782
00:57:28,195 --> 00:57:29,946
lt doesn't, actually.
783
00:57:30,155 --> 00:57:32,907
Well, you're not the only one
who deserves to have a little fun.
784
00:57:32,991 --> 00:57:34,408
And what's your point?
785
00:57:34,493 --> 00:57:36,994
l saw you both at Gibraltar's. Drunk.
786
00:57:37,079 --> 00:57:38,329
l saw you, too.
787
00:57:38,413 --> 00:57:40,623
l saw you, too, man. Bravo.
788
00:57:52,052 --> 00:57:55,805
l am proud that we whittled it down
to these three so quickly.
789
00:57:55,889 --> 00:57:58,224
l have another candidate in mind.
790
00:57:58,934 --> 00:58:00,017
Who?
791
00:58:01,645 --> 00:58:02,687
Me.
792
00:58:02,896 --> 00:58:06,232
Can you apply?
You're the chair of the committee.
793
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:09,152
Yes, l am permitted to apply.
794
00:58:09,236 --> 00:58:12,989
lt's well within Carnegie Mellon's
ethical codes of conduct.
795
00:58:13,073 --> 00:58:15,908
lt's part of the democratic process.
796
00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:20,955
Tick, tock.
797
00:58:23,125 --> 00:58:25,168
But now, in the new days. . .
798
00:58:26,628 --> 00:58:30,756
Do you know its meaning?
You drove yourself. . .
799
00:58:33,218 --> 00:58:35,928
When l come back,
you better have a word on that board.
800
00:58:38,640 --> 00:58:40,266
(CELL PHONE RlNGlNG)
801
00:58:41,435 --> 00:58:44,520
Vanessa, this phone
is for emergencies only.
802
00:58:44,605 --> 00:58:48,232
l didn't want to call you
at her apartment. l just, like. . .
803
00:58:48,317 --> 00:58:49,859
Are you coming home for dinner?
804
00:58:49,943 --> 00:58:52,862
Because Chuck's gone
and l'm the only one here.
805
00:58:52,946 --> 00:58:54,864
l'm eating here tonight.
806
00:58:54,948 --> 00:58:57,450
Well, that's just fantastic.
807
00:58:57,951 --> 00:59:00,786
What am l supposed to do
with the beef stroganoff that l made,
808
00:59:00,871 --> 00:59:02,830
and the garlic whipped potatoes?
809
00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:09,295
l'm going to be home in a few hours,
could you save me a little bit?
810
00:59:09,671 --> 00:59:11,130
Just a plate.
811
00:59:14,801 --> 00:59:16,427
(PHONE RlNGlNG)
812
00:59:18,972 --> 00:59:22,808
This is Lawrence Wetherhold.
Who is this?
813
00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:26,103
This is Deb Rosenblatt,
from the Penguin Group.
814
00:59:26,188 --> 00:59:28,064
Bloomberg really liked
your manuscript
815
00:59:28,148 --> 00:59:29,398
and he would like to meet
with you in New York.
816
00:59:29,483 --> 00:59:30,691
Well,
817
00:59:30,776 --> 00:59:33,653
it is a very interesting concept, isn't it?
818
00:59:38,951 --> 00:59:42,620
Yeah, l always wondered
who littered the world with those.
819
00:59:43,121 --> 00:59:46,123
Where have you been?
l haven't seen you, like, all week.
820
00:59:46,208 --> 00:59:47,750
l've been busy.
821
00:59:47,834 --> 00:59:50,503
l don't want you to feel uncomfortable
around me, okay?
822
00:59:50,587 --> 00:59:53,172
l completely respect
your homosexuality,
823
00:59:53,257 --> 00:59:57,677
and l will refrain
from any further untoward advances.
824
00:59:58,345 --> 01:00:01,681
Truth be told,
l've started dating someone.
825
01:00:01,848 --> 01:00:03,599
Someone my own age.
826
01:00:03,725 --> 01:00:05,351
What's his name?
827
01:00:07,396 --> 01:00:09,105
Her name
828
01:00:10,857 --> 01:00:12,817
is none of your business.
829
01:00:12,901 --> 01:00:16,487
l will be staying at her apartment
a couple of nights a week.
830
01:00:16,613 --> 01:00:18,823
So does she know you're gay?
831
01:00:21,868 --> 01:00:25,288
l don't think that you and l
should be hanging out as much.
832
01:00:25,956 --> 01:00:28,666
Well, that's just. . . lt's idiotic.
833
01:00:29,418 --> 01:00:31,794
l mean, who am l supposed to
hang out with?
834
01:00:31,878 --> 01:00:35,381
l just think that we both need to,
you know, get a life.
835
01:00:36,300 --> 01:00:40,011
My life begins when l set foot
in California next fall.
836
01:00:42,723 --> 01:00:44,765
The cab was $9!
837
01:00:45,225 --> 01:00:46,892
l'll pay you back.
838
01:00:49,021 --> 01:00:50,146
Well,
839
01:00:51,565 --> 01:00:54,108
-they're publishing my book.
-What?
840
01:00:54,860 --> 01:00:56,110
Who the fuck's gonna read that?
841
01:00:56,194 --> 01:00:59,196
Bloomberg. l knew it. l so knew it!
842
01:00:59,698 --> 01:01:02,074
Well, when do we. . .
When are we going to meet with them?
843
01:01:02,909 --> 01:01:04,535
You have school.
844
01:01:04,619 --> 01:01:07,204
So l'm taking Janet and
845
01:01:07,998 --> 01:01:10,624
flying to New York on Monday.
846
01:01:16,214 --> 01:01:18,049
You have school.
847
01:01:22,095 --> 01:01:23,387
(SlGHS)
848
01:01:25,891 --> 01:01:27,892
So l sort of met somebody.
849
01:01:28,226 --> 01:01:31,020
l was kind of hoping
you could float me some greenbacks
850
01:01:31,104 --> 01:01:33,105
to get my own apartment.
851
01:01:33,940 --> 01:01:37,651
You know, more and more,
l'm getting used to you.
852
01:01:39,196 --> 01:01:40,821
l need you here.
853
01:01:41,740 --> 01:01:44,283
So, no.
854
01:01:49,581 --> 01:01:52,291
There was a twinkle
of humanity in there.
855
01:01:53,835 --> 01:01:56,754
(SlNGlNG)
Gonna tell you all a story
856
01:01:56,838 --> 01:01:59,799
About a girl who's just informed me
857
01:01:59,883 --> 01:02:04,762
That all she needs to love me
ls a quiet peaceful day
858
01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:09,809
She don't need no shiny diamonds
Or a fancy car to drive in
859
01:02:10,769 --> 01:02:16,607
She just needs me there beside her
On a quiet peaceful day
860
01:02:23,490 --> 01:02:26,325
lt's almost 1 0:00. l need to leave.
861
01:02:29,287 --> 01:02:31,414
Good luck. Knock 'em dead !
862
01:02:34,543 --> 01:02:36,961
Does this suit make me look too eager?
863
01:02:37,045 --> 01:02:39,839
How can a suit make anyone
look too eager?
864
01:02:44,511 --> 01:02:47,096
-Wish me luck.
-l just did. Go already.
865
01:02:47,180 --> 01:02:49,723
You're starting to make me nervous.
866
01:02:51,059 --> 01:02:52,059
Goodbye.
867
01:03:00,193 --> 01:03:03,195
BLOOMBERG: At first l thought it was
the driest piece of shit l'd ever read.
868
01:03:03,488 --> 01:03:04,488
What?
869
01:03:04,656 --> 01:03:05,823
Till l got to the third section,
870
01:03:05,907 --> 01:03:08,159
where l noticed a certain
marketable tone,
871
01:03:08,452 --> 01:03:11,287
the surly, smarter-than-thou
asshole tone.
872
01:03:11,746 --> 01:03:14,123
People love to hate books like this.
873
01:03:14,207 --> 01:03:16,167
NPR will attack the book immediately.
874
01:03:16,251 --> 01:03:19,587
And before you know it, you'll be
defending yourself on Charlie Rose.
875
01:03:19,754 --> 01:03:23,382
That's not the point of the book.
876
01:03:24,342 --> 01:03:25,634
l understand your hesitancy,
877
01:03:25,719 --> 01:03:28,429
but when was the last time
a senior editor edited,
878
01:03:28,513 --> 01:03:30,097
actually edited?
879
01:03:31,057 --> 01:03:33,934
We spent the entire staff meeting
last week talking about it.
880
01:03:34,019 --> 01:03:36,854
Marketing guys loved it.
Two junior editors loved it.
881
01:03:36,938 --> 01:03:40,566
lt's almost like the book itself
is a fucking bully.
882
01:03:42,235 --> 01:03:48,073
You Can't Read.
883
01:03:48,992 --> 01:03:50,326
Brilliant!
884
01:04:24,069 --> 01:04:25,110
Shit.
885
01:04:41,127 --> 01:04:42,419
-Hey.
-Hi.
886
01:04:44,172 --> 01:04:45,798
Well, how'd it go?
887
01:04:47,092 --> 01:04:52,012
Great. They loved me over there.
lt's going to be a very important book.
888
01:04:53,890 --> 01:04:56,267
Well, you seem happy.
889
01:04:56,351 --> 01:04:58,936
Well, wait, wait. Don't open that yet.
What did he say about the book?
890
01:04:59,020 --> 01:05:00,229
Well. . .
891
01:05:00,522 --> 01:05:03,983
They've edited it, significantly.
But it's much better.
892
01:05:04,526 --> 01:05:09,989
lt's intelligent, but very contrary,
powerful and inflammatory. lt's. . .
893
01:05:12,242 --> 01:05:14,535
Well, how much did they edit it?
894
01:05:15,036 --> 01:05:19,915
Well, Penguin has. . .
They've edited thousands of books,
895
01:05:20,000 --> 01:05:23,877
and there comes a time when
you have to let the experts be experts.
896
01:05:24,296 --> 01:05:26,005
And are you honestly okay
with the changes?
897
01:05:26,089 --> 01:05:31,468
Well, Bloomberg wants
to take us out to dinner.
898
01:05:33,013 --> 01:05:36,015
l thought you and l were going out
for a quiet dinner tonight.
899
01:05:36,558 --> 01:05:39,977
They want to take us out.
lt's. . . You know. He's my editor.
900
01:05:42,105 --> 01:05:43,856
And l'm your. . .
901
01:05:45,900 --> 01:05:48,319
l don't know. What am l to you?
902
01:05:49,946 --> 01:05:52,990
Well, for lack of a better term,
you're my girlfriend.
903
01:05:53,074 --> 01:05:55,701
No, what am l to you? Not just a term.
904
01:05:57,746 --> 01:06:02,833
You're everything that a girlfriend is.
905
01:06:04,794 --> 01:06:06,795
You can't answer, can you?
906
01:06:11,092 --> 01:06:12,134
(CHUCKLES)
907
01:06:12,218 --> 01:06:15,137
Please, would you just
get ready for dinner?
908
01:06:15,597 --> 01:06:18,223
You know what?
l actually don't even feel that well.
909
01:06:18,391 --> 01:06:22,895
l couldn't go out tonight anyways.
You should go. l'm gonna be fine.
910
01:06:30,737 --> 01:06:32,988
You'd think their parents would
control them.
911
01:06:33,073 --> 01:06:34,948
They've probably been
stuck on a plane for hours.
912
01:06:35,033 --> 01:06:37,701
They should be encouraged
to run around.
913
01:06:37,786 --> 01:06:38,827
Your book's not published yet.
914
01:06:38,912 --> 01:06:42,122
You don't have to act
like a complete misanthrope.
915
01:06:46,378 --> 01:06:49,421
What is with you?
You're like a different person.
916
01:06:49,506 --> 01:06:53,175
No, Lawrence, l'm the same person.
l've just noticed a few things.
917
01:06:53,259 --> 01:06:54,802
l can't win.
918
01:06:54,886 --> 01:06:57,638
Call me a grouch,
l just think that it's wrong
919
01:06:57,722 --> 01:07:01,100
to let kids run around an airport
unsupervised.
920
01:07:01,351 --> 01:07:04,687
When you have children,
you'll understand.
921
01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:08,524
This isn't about unsupervised kids
at an airport, and you know it.
922
01:07:08,608 --> 01:07:10,317
Excuse me, sorry.
923
01:07:18,201 --> 01:07:20,577
You don't seem interested
in anything other than your book
924
01:07:20,662 --> 01:07:22,830
or becoming head of the department.
925
01:07:22,914 --> 01:07:25,624
l mean, why don't you ask?
Just try asking.
926
01:07:26,418 --> 01:07:30,087
Okay. What the hell's your problem?
927
01:07:30,922 --> 01:07:33,632
l don't want to talk about it right now.
928
01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:37,803
l have it.
929
01:07:42,976 --> 01:07:46,645
You don't seem very happy.
930
01:07:46,730 --> 01:07:50,399
l'm not happy. Not even close.
931
01:07:52,318 --> 01:07:58,741
WCMAN: (SlNGlNG)
What have l got to offor you
932
01:07:59,826 --> 01:08:02,202
Have l gotten
933
01:08:02,912 --> 01:08:08,000
My heart nor my soul
'cause l gave it away
934
01:08:08,168 --> 01:08:11,170
There's a lesson l learned
when the trust is gone
935
01:08:11,296 --> 01:08:13,839
Love is gone
936
01:08:23,933 --> 01:08:26,685
So l put some flowers on Mom's grave.
937
01:08:27,896 --> 01:08:30,898
Like just a dozen or so
pink and white roses.
938
01:08:32,692 --> 01:08:35,778
You kind of owe me $64.
939
01:08:35,862 --> 01:08:38,864
The 1 7th. l'm sorry.
940
01:08:38,990 --> 01:08:39,990
No, it's. . .
941
01:08:40,074 --> 01:08:43,660
You know, it's not like Mom knew
you weren't there.
942
01:08:43,745 --> 01:08:46,205
Besides, l'm a big girl. l can handle it.
943
01:08:50,710 --> 01:08:52,127
How are you?
944
01:08:54,506 --> 01:08:58,926
Maybe this weekend, you and l
could go ice skating like we used to.
945
01:09:01,471 --> 01:09:02,554
Dad,
946
01:09:02,639 --> 01:09:04,097
you just got a huge book deal,
947
01:09:04,182 --> 01:09:06,683
and the head of the department
is yours for the taking,
948
01:09:06,768 --> 01:09:10,312
and everything's kind
of perfect for you, so
949
01:09:10,396 --> 01:09:12,731
don't screw everything up, okay?
950
01:09:14,192 --> 01:09:17,236
You know, l read in Cosmopolitan
that it takes
951
01:09:17,320 --> 01:09:20,989
about half the time you date someone
to get over them.
952
01:09:21,074 --> 01:09:24,660
And, what, you've dated Janet
for just a few months?
953
01:09:24,744 --> 01:09:28,705
-You read Cosmopolitan?
-l glance at it.
954
01:09:29,833 --> 01:09:33,377
Like, at the supermarket,
if the line's particularly long.
955
01:09:35,672 --> 01:09:37,673
You know that physician,
956
01:09:39,133 --> 01:09:42,928
she's just a rebound relationship,
that's all.
957
01:09:43,012 --> 01:09:45,556
A rebound from what?
958
01:09:45,640 --> 01:09:47,099
From Mom.
959
01:10:06,411 --> 01:10:09,246
Lawrence,
congratulations on your book deal.
960
01:10:09,455 --> 01:10:10,497
Thank you.
961
01:10:10,582 --> 01:10:14,459
And James' poem being accepted
by the New Yorker.
962
01:10:14,669 --> 01:10:16,336
With Lawrence's book it may seem like
963
01:10:16,421 --> 01:10:19,214
bringing the other three candidates
to campus is a waste of time.
964
01:10:19,299 --> 01:10:22,134
But according to the bylaws,
we have to.
965
01:10:22,218 --> 01:10:24,052
What about his recommendation letter?
966
01:10:24,137 --> 01:10:27,264
Lawrence, could you
tell us about your book?
967
01:10:27,348 --> 01:10:28,932
lt's an examination of critical theory
968
01:10:29,017 --> 01:10:31,435
from the standpoint that
every school of criticism has failed us.
969
01:10:31,519 --> 01:10:34,146
l start out with a brief history
of criticism, then l. . .
970
01:10:34,272 --> 01:10:35,564
(SlGHlNG)
971
01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:41,028
Penguin Group seems to like it.
972
01:10:45,199 --> 01:10:46,575
(KNOCKlNG AT DOOR)
973
01:10:46,993 --> 01:10:48,660
Shit.
974
01:10:57,253 --> 01:10:59,254
l heard about the New Yorker.
975
01:10:59,339 --> 01:11:01,089
Why didn't you tell me
about the poem?
976
01:11:01,174 --> 01:11:02,591
l. . . l. . .
977
01:11:02,675 --> 01:11:05,135
-l need to read it.
-You need to read it?
978
01:11:05,219 --> 01:11:06,929
Now that l sold a poem to
the New Yorker,
979
01:11:07,013 --> 01:11:09,723
l'm suddenly worthy of your attention?
980
01:11:09,807 --> 01:11:13,977
What's wrong with a father wanting
to hear about his son's success?
981
01:11:16,147 --> 01:11:18,190
What are those doing here?
982
01:11:19,442 --> 01:11:21,360
-He left those here last night.
-Are you working for him now?
983
01:11:21,444 --> 01:11:23,445
No. l'm not working for him.
He left it here last night.
984
01:11:23,529 --> 01:11:26,114
He left his sweater, too. Hold on.
985
01:11:30,453 --> 01:11:32,287
l thought that Chuck
was staying at his girlfriend's.
986
01:11:32,372 --> 01:11:34,331
He doesn't have a girlfriend.
987
01:11:34,415 --> 01:11:38,377
He stays here a few nights every week
to get away from you guys.
988
01:11:42,882 --> 01:11:45,634
You have no idea
what's going on, do you?
989
01:11:52,433 --> 01:11:54,893
How's your head? Douchebag.
990
01:12:02,986 --> 01:12:07,155
So dinner will be ready at 8:00 ,
if you're around.
991
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:09,574
Those jeans look really great.
992
01:12:09,659 --> 01:12:13,662
And they're really snug
in all the right areas.
993
01:12:15,790 --> 01:12:18,375
Don't say things like that to me.
994
01:12:18,459 --> 01:12:20,669
-Why, l'm just. . .
-Just don't.
995
01:12:29,387 --> 01:12:34,057
LAWRENCE: So what is the lotus?
Homer calls it a "honey-sweet fruit."
996
01:12:34,142 --> 01:12:37,978
For Tennyson, it's not just a drug, is it?
997
01:12:38,062 --> 01:12:40,355
lt symbolizes a desire
for rest and death.
998
01:12:40,440 --> 01:12:42,357
But what does it inspire in them?
999
01:12:42,442 --> 01:12:45,527
They're tired
and they can't take it anymore.
1000
01:12:45,611 --> 01:12:48,238
The lotus is about the
possibility of oblivion.
1001
01:12:48,322 --> 01:12:51,408
What your CliffsNotes
may not have mentioned is that
1002
01:12:51,492 --> 01:12:54,578
the eating of the lotus
occasions a song.
1003
01:12:54,662 --> 01:12:55,662
l didn't use CliffsNotes.
1004
01:12:55,747 --> 01:12:58,331
You used SparkNotes.
l read them, too.
1005
01:12:58,416 --> 01:13:00,584
So where did their singing lead them?
1006
01:13:00,752 --> 01:13:04,880
Singing lets them imagine
their way out of their misery.
1007
01:13:07,508 --> 01:13:10,552
CHlN: Since they can't go home,
they sing of home
1008
01:13:10,636 --> 01:13:13,388
as the place where all the sufforing is.
1009
01:13:16,100 --> 01:13:18,560
The song becomes the doleful music
1010
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,146
of the miserable world
they no longer occupy, then
1011
01:13:22,607 --> 01:13:28,153
they just sit around listening to it,
drinking nectar and stuff.
1012
01:13:47,298 --> 01:13:50,759
Hey, Lawrence, got a minute?
Can l read you something?
1013
01:13:52,095 --> 01:13:53,386
"ln all my years of schooling,
1014
01:13:53,471 --> 01:13:56,181
"l've never encountered a professor
as deeply passionate about his subject
1015
01:13:56,265 --> 01:13:57,641
"as Professor Wetherhold was
1016
01:13:57,725 --> 01:14:00,477
"back when l took his Victorian novel
course as a freshman.
1017
01:14:00,561 --> 01:14:01,937
"He pushed us hard,
but he believed in us
1018
01:14:02,021 --> 01:14:04,689
"and helped us become strong,
close readers and critical writers,
1019
01:14:04,774 --> 01:14:06,441
"skills l've brought
to my study of medicine.
1020
01:14:06,526 --> 01:14:08,610
"Sincerely, Janet Hartigan, M. D ."
1021
01:14:18,121 --> 01:14:22,165
Professor Wetherhold,
l have a simple question.
1022
01:14:22,708 --> 01:14:26,044
Why do you want to be
head of the English department?
1023
01:14:27,755 --> 01:14:29,714
l've been thinking
about that quite a bit lately.
1024
01:14:29,799 --> 01:14:32,342
As head of the department,
how do you plan on rectitying
1025
01:14:32,426 --> 01:14:35,887
the systematic subjugation
of women in this institution?
1026
01:14:35,972 --> 01:14:39,933
Julia, l haven't even vaguely
considered that, nor do l plan to.
1027
01:14:41,394 --> 01:14:45,605
You know what? None of you like me,
and l don't blame you.
1028
01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:48,400
l would make a lousy
head of the department.
1029
01:14:48,651 --> 01:14:52,821
What this department needs is
someone who likes to manage people,
1030
01:14:52,905 --> 01:14:54,781
who can make small talk.
1031
01:14:54,866 --> 01:14:56,408
And that's. . .
1032
01:14:56,993 --> 01:15:00,829
l can't do that.
That's not me. l can't do it.
1033
01:15:04,250 --> 01:15:06,251
Sorry l wasted your time.
1034
01:15:11,090 --> 01:15:14,342
l'll just stick to teaching for now.
1035
01:15:17,430 --> 01:15:18,430
(SlGHS)
1036
01:15:20,016 --> 01:15:24,269
So where's your girlfriend?
Been hiding out here?
1037
01:15:24,770 --> 01:15:26,146
-Bye.
-See you, Chelsea.
1038
01:15:26,230 --> 01:15:27,230
Can we talk?
1039
01:15:31,360 --> 01:15:33,862
LAWRENCE:
Everyone in my life is going crazy.
1040
01:15:34,947 --> 01:15:37,157
CHUCK:
You're the one that's crazy.
1041
01:15:37,491 --> 01:15:39,284
And socially retarded.
1042
01:15:39,911 --> 01:15:43,955
You're the middle-aged man who was
just hosting a college beer bash.
1043
01:15:47,877 --> 01:15:50,503
You know,
Vanessa's becoming an android.
1044
01:15:51,422 --> 01:15:54,549
A scary clone, no friends,
1045
01:15:56,010 --> 01:15:59,262
too scared to be anything else.
Just like you.
1046
01:16:02,642 --> 01:16:04,643
And you constantly
take her for granted.
1047
01:16:04,727 --> 01:16:08,605
l do not take her for granted.
l am continually impressed by her.
1048
01:16:09,482 --> 01:16:12,609
Did you know she was
going to Stanford?
1049
01:16:12,693 --> 01:16:14,986
Early acceptance, last November.
1050
01:16:16,822 --> 01:16:19,908
-Why didn't she tell me?
-Why does she have to?
1051
01:16:22,286 --> 01:16:23,954
Why don't you ask?
1052
01:16:26,540 --> 01:16:29,292
You drove the hot doctor
out of your life.
1053
01:16:29,377 --> 01:16:32,087
She left me.
1054
01:16:32,171 --> 01:16:35,966
She can't handle my success.
We're just not compatible.
1055
01:16:36,050 --> 01:16:38,468
You have the lQ of a dumb-ass ant.
1056
01:16:44,308 --> 01:16:46,810
But you know what?
Maybe it's not going to be so bad.
1057
01:16:46,894 --> 01:16:48,812
Vanessa's going away in the fall.
1058
01:16:48,896 --> 01:16:52,357
lt'll just be the two of us,
the Wetherhold bachelors.
1059
01:16:53,526 --> 01:16:58,196
Middle-aged, can't get along
with women, should be gay. . .
1060
01:17:12,503 --> 01:17:13,545
What are you doing here?
1061
01:17:13,754 --> 01:17:16,006
lf you've come to tell me
that l can't go to Stanford,
1062
01:17:16,090 --> 01:17:17,632
then you can just forget it.
1063
01:17:17,717 --> 01:17:19,426
l don't care. l don't care if it's free.
1064
01:17:19,510 --> 01:17:21,928
l'm not going to
the same school as James.
1065
01:17:22,013 --> 01:17:24,681
He sold a poem to the New Yorker.
1066
01:17:24,765 --> 01:17:27,350
Even cretins win the lottery sometimes.
1067
01:17:34,900 --> 01:17:38,528
l won't be head of the department.
1068
01:17:39,697 --> 01:17:42,991
-l pulled myself out of the search.
-lnsane.
1069
01:17:43,909 --> 01:17:46,494
-What are you trying to do to me?
-Just relax.
1070
01:17:46,579 --> 01:17:48,204
My book,
1071
01:17:48,289 --> 01:17:51,124
that dumbed-down,
gimmicky travesty of scholarship,
1072
01:17:51,208 --> 01:17:53,126
will pay for Stanford.
1073
01:17:55,087 --> 01:17:56,463
Satisfied?
1074
01:18:04,263 --> 01:18:06,890
What's going on between
you and Chuck?
1075
01:18:09,435 --> 01:18:10,685
Nothing.
1076
01:18:12,646 --> 01:18:15,899
lt's just miscommunication.
1077
01:18:17,318 --> 01:18:20,820
A simple case of middle-aged loser
trying to seduce
1078
01:18:20,905 --> 01:18:25,033
his much younger,
bound-for-success niece.
1079
01:18:27,995 --> 01:18:30,288
l don't think you're very happy,
Vanessa.
1080
01:18:32,124 --> 01:18:33,958
Well, you're not happy,
1081
01:18:36,712 --> 01:18:38,755
and you're my role model.
1082
01:18:51,310 --> 01:18:52,644
(KNOCKlNG AT DOOR)
1083
01:18:54,605 --> 01:18:57,107
You know what?
l've had a monumentally shitty day.
1084
01:18:57,191 --> 01:18:59,484
You hate me. l get it.
End of discussion.
1085
01:19:07,201 --> 01:19:08,827
l don't hate you.
1086
01:19:11,831 --> 01:19:13,790
You know what? l don't really get it.
1087
01:19:14,208 --> 01:19:17,710
l don't get that you spend the first
few months trying to win me over,
1088
01:19:17,795 --> 01:19:19,129
which you do,
1089
01:19:19,213 --> 01:19:23,550
and then make up some fake girlfriend
1090
01:19:23,634 --> 01:19:25,009
and completely ditch me.
1091
01:19:26,178 --> 01:19:31,683
Well, that's not entirely
the whole story, is it?
1092
01:19:37,523 --> 01:19:39,315
Not really, l guess.
1093
01:19:45,698 --> 01:19:50,285
You know, when l moved in,
l thought you were smart and funny.
1094
01:19:51,704 --> 01:19:54,330
l'm sorry that you misunderstood that.
1095
01:20:00,254 --> 01:20:02,797
But l'll let you get back to that.
1096
01:20:03,132 --> 01:20:05,091
What are you gonna do?
1097
01:20:08,596 --> 01:20:13,224
-Go in my room. Do 1 ,000 pushups.
-Wow .
1098
01:20:15,060 --> 01:20:16,853
What are you going to do
with your life?
1099
01:20:17,730 --> 01:20:19,898
Just, you know, sell phone cards?
1100
01:20:20,065 --> 01:20:21,649
Right.
1101
01:20:22,985 --> 01:20:24,819
lt is pretty good money.
1102
01:20:24,904 --> 01:20:26,946
-Sure.
-But l know what you mean.
1103
01:20:30,743 --> 01:20:33,036
You know, l like my life.
1104
01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:41,586
Yeah, we're like friends, l guess, right?
1105
01:20:45,591 --> 01:20:47,759
Yeah, we're friends.
1106
01:21:07,363 --> 01:21:09,697
Can you make me
something to eat, friend?
1107
01:21:09,782 --> 01:21:11,908
Order pizza, with the works.
1108
01:21:29,510 --> 01:21:33,304
Wake up! l need to run
a few errands before school.
1109
01:21:36,934 --> 01:21:38,017
Wake up.
1110
01:21:39,895 --> 01:21:42,897
MAN: (SlNGlNG)
lf only we loved us like before
1111
01:21:44,692 --> 01:21:47,068
There would be more
1112
01:21:47,987 --> 01:21:51,906
lf only the scars would disappear
1113
01:21:51,991 --> 01:21:53,908
Verbal surgery
1114
01:21:53,993 --> 01:21:55,326
LAWRENCE: Hello.
1115
01:21:56,036 --> 01:22:00,206
lf only we could have seen the smoke
1116
01:22:00,291 --> 01:22:02,417
Simple warning
1117
01:22:06,589 --> 01:22:09,007
Hold on, l want. . . l want that.
1118
01:22:12,761 --> 01:22:14,178
May l have a tax receipt?
1119
01:22:15,347 --> 01:22:16,347
There you go.
1120
01:22:16,765 --> 01:22:21,519
Love come back save the day
1121
01:22:29,486 --> 01:22:33,281
Thanks, bro. lt was starting to get
a little cold out here.
1122
01:22:43,542 --> 01:22:47,962
You sat on the right side and
you didn't throw up! Good work!
1123
01:22:49,214 --> 01:22:50,632
Pull over, up here.
1124
01:22:50,716 --> 01:22:55,678
Now, remember, four words.
"l'm sorry. l love you."
1125
01:22:56,221 --> 01:22:57,347
That's five words.
1126
01:22:57,431 --> 01:23:00,558
This is no time to count words,
Professor.
1127
01:23:04,730 --> 01:23:05,730
Hey!
1128
01:23:08,067 --> 01:23:11,736
Don't forget, "l'm sorry! l love you !"
1129
01:23:16,492 --> 01:23:17,492
What'd he say?
1130
01:23:18,118 --> 01:23:21,954
MAN: l love you, too, man !
Hey, where you going !
1131
01:23:31,674 --> 01:23:33,549
-May l sit down?
-Sure.
1132
01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:38,763
-How are you?
-l'm good. How are you?
1133
01:23:38,847 --> 01:23:40,807
-l'm. . .
-How's the book coming?
1134
01:23:40,891 --> 01:23:42,600
Thank you for this.
1135
01:23:47,106 --> 01:23:48,773
l didn't write it.
1136
01:23:49,191 --> 01:23:50,900
You should check with Vanessa,
she does good work,
1137
01:23:50,984 --> 01:23:54,445
though the signature's not even close.
1138
01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:02,954
This is humiliating. l'll see you.
1139
01:24:03,288 --> 01:24:07,333
Wait. Wait, wait. Wait.
1140
01:24:09,670 --> 01:24:10,962
Listen,
1141
01:24:13,590 --> 01:24:16,884
l haven't had any grand epiphany
1142
01:24:16,969 --> 01:24:19,887
or made any sweeping changes
in my personality
1143
01:24:19,972 --> 01:24:22,765
over the past few weeks.
1144
01:24:23,016 --> 01:24:26,310
l know l'm a miserable asshole, but
1145
01:24:28,522 --> 01:24:30,815
l do have some hope for myself.
1146
01:24:34,987 --> 01:24:36,904
Lawrence, l'm pregnant.
1147
01:24:38,615 --> 01:24:41,784
And according to my calculations,
1148
01:24:41,869 --> 01:24:44,954
this pregnancy is the result
of the first time.
1149
01:24:52,087 --> 01:24:56,257
-Well, why didn't you tell me?
-Because you were being such an ass.
1150
01:24:58,218 --> 01:25:01,929
You were not exactly
a wellspring of emotional information.
1151
01:25:07,394 --> 01:25:10,396
Why would you have a baby with me?
1152
01:25:10,481 --> 01:25:13,983
Because you don't know
how to properly use a condom.
1153
01:25:17,029 --> 01:25:18,696
Message received.
1154
01:25:31,877 --> 01:25:33,920
You're intelligent, right?
1155
01:25:34,963 --> 01:25:38,591
And you're not unattractive.
1156
01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:47,016
l mean, it's not like
it's a total genetic crapshoot.
1157
01:25:50,395 --> 01:25:52,772
Though you do have some deficits.
1158
01:25:56,318 --> 01:25:58,277
But you came here today.
1159
01:26:02,908 --> 01:26:04,867
We can figure this out.
1160
01:26:07,246 --> 01:26:08,996
We're smart people.
1161
01:26:16,296 --> 01:26:18,631
l'm sorry. l love you.
1162
01:26:26,265 --> 01:26:28,850
LAWRENCE:
lt's not up to you. lt's not up to me.
1163
01:26:29,852 --> 01:26:31,227
(VANESSA SlGHS)
1164
01:26:36,900 --> 01:26:40,695
-Sorry.
-Chuck, you stay, please. Just. . .
1165
01:26:42,531 --> 01:26:46,659
lt's just that you have options.
And you should be aware of all of them.
1166
01:26:47,870 --> 01:26:50,371
Well, you have options, too, Vanessa.
1167
01:26:51,665 --> 01:26:54,125
You can either continue
to be miserable,
1168
01:26:54,209 --> 01:26:56,752
or you can just stop being
angry at everyone
1169
01:26:56,837 --> 01:26:59,463
and accept the way things are.
1170
01:26:59,548 --> 01:27:01,465
Allow yourself to live.
1171
01:27:05,053 --> 01:27:07,972
You sound like a stupid
motivational speaker.
1172
01:27:11,852 --> 01:27:13,978
You're not listening to me.
1173
01:27:15,480 --> 01:27:16,939
You're not.
1174
01:27:27,534 --> 01:27:30,077
l am not cleaning any dirty diapers.
1175
01:27:54,019 --> 01:27:55,102
LAWRENCE: Morning.
1176
01:27:55,187 --> 01:27:58,272
Matthew Arnold, one of the writers
we'll be studying this semester,
1177
01:27:58,357 --> 01:28:03,319
wrote that, "Culture is the pursuit
of our total perfection,
1178
01:28:03,403 --> 01:28:07,406
"the best which has been
thought and said in the world."
1179
01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:11,702
Now, my name is
Lawrence Wetherhold.
1180
01:28:11,787 --> 01:28:14,997
You may call me Professor
Wetherhold, or Dr. Wetherhold.
1181
01:28:15,082 --> 01:28:20,461
But you may not call me, "Hey, you,"
or, "Yo, Teach," or, "Dude,"
1182
01:28:20,963 --> 01:28:22,922
because none of these
terms of address
1183
01:28:23,006 --> 01:28:26,425
could possibly be the prelude
to intelligent comment or question.
1184
01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:29,261
So let's get to know one another.
1185
01:28:29,346 --> 01:28:31,555
Joseph Anderson.
1186
01:28:32,599 --> 01:28:34,684
Joseph, where you from?
1187
01:28:53,078 --> 01:28:57,164
(SlNGlNG) So you got to go,
but you don't know where
1188
01:28:57,249 --> 01:29:01,669
All that you know,
is you can't stay here
1189
01:29:01,920 --> 01:29:06,007
What's left to do, but wish you the best
1190
01:29:06,091 --> 01:29:10,469
ln your pursuit of happiness
1191
01:29:10,762 --> 01:29:14,181
You say it's not me, it's just you
1192
01:29:14,266 --> 01:29:19,353
But l'm the only one in the room
1193
01:29:19,771 --> 01:29:23,733
Asking myself why you have left
1194
01:29:23,817 --> 01:29:33,617
ln your pursuit of happiness
1195
01:29:42,961 --> 01:29:46,589
All the papers read
Happiness is fled
1196
01:29:46,757 --> 01:29:50,676
Known accomplice to the sad
1197
01:29:50,761 --> 01:29:54,263
l hope you find what you're looking for
1198
01:29:54,973 --> 01:29:59,727
Your piece of mind,
l want nothing more
1199
01:29:59,811 --> 01:30:03,773
Somewhere over the rainbow's end
1200
01:30:03,899 --> 01:30:08,194
ln your pursuit of happiness
1201
01:30:08,361 --> 01:30:12,656
Starting over again, more or less
1202
01:30:12,741 --> 01:30:17,203
ln my pursuit of happiness
1203
01:30:39,184 --> 01:30:44,396
WCMAN: (SlNGlNG)
Baby, won't you help me be my best
1204
01:30:49,027 --> 01:30:54,740
Help me find a way back to our nest
1205
01:30:55,826 --> 01:31:00,162
And dreams
1206
01:31:27,232 --> 01:31:31,944
lf this were a book
lt'd start with a line
1207
01:31:32,404 --> 01:31:38,784
l once knew a man
l was his and he was mine
1208
01:31:39,161 --> 01:31:43,831
So predictable
So confused
1209
01:31:43,999 --> 01:31:50,337
l'm at a loss for words
to explain my mood
1210
01:31:51,923 --> 01:31:58,345
l stitch this bow
into the bottom of my dress
1211
01:32:03,101 --> 01:32:08,856
The one that touches me
directly on my legs
1212
01:32:12,736 --> 01:32:17,072
And l wear that gold ribbon till
1213
01:32:18,283 --> 01:32:23,871
lt sits over my heart
And l hold it tight
1214
01:32:25,248 --> 01:32:28,000
And dream
87226