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1
00:00:03,796 --> 00:00:07,386
-Please.
-Alright, my quiz hounds!
2
00:00:07,421 --> 00:00:09,802
Who's ready for a battle
of the brains?!
3
00:00:09,837 --> 00:00:11,977
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
4
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,255
Why are we doing this?
Can't we just drink?
5
00:00:14,290 --> 00:00:16,430
The prize
is a five-coin bar tab,
6
00:00:16,464 --> 00:00:18,535
and our only competition
is these idiots.
7
00:00:18,570 --> 00:00:20,192
All: Chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug, chug!
8
00:00:20,227 --> 00:00:21,883
Yeah!
9
00:00:21,918 --> 00:00:23,368
We can't lose!
10
00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:26,543
Okay, before we start, just a
little reminder about cheating.
11
00:00:26,578 --> 00:00:27,820
Use the honor system, guys.
12
00:00:27,855 --> 00:00:29,960
No looking up answers
on The Oracle.
13
00:00:29,995 --> 00:00:32,825
I see all!
14
00:00:32,860 --> 00:00:33,654
Alright, man.
15
00:00:33,688 --> 00:00:37,106
Okay, the first category is...
16
00:00:37,140 --> 00:00:38,072
political theory.
17
00:00:38,107 --> 00:00:39,901
Yes!
Yeah, we got this.
18
00:00:39,936 --> 00:00:41,489
Which hunky emperor
19
00:00:41,524 --> 00:00:45,079
is well known for his
juicy, trashy ass?
20
00:00:45,114 --> 00:00:46,598
What?
21
00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:47,978
-St. Maxwell the Thicc!
-St. Maxwell the Thicc!
22
00:00:48,013 --> 00:00:49,221
Correct!
23
00:00:49,256 --> 00:00:50,326
That's 100 points
to the Brew-Dog Crew!
24
00:00:51,672 --> 00:00:53,881
Okay, there was
no intellectual merit
25
00:00:53,915 --> 00:00:54,813
to that question.
26
00:00:54,847 --> 00:00:56,780
Oh, so, you're
an intellectual now?
27
00:00:56,815 --> 00:00:58,127
'Cause last time
I checked,
28
00:00:58,161 --> 00:00:59,197
you were still
fully shoveling
29
00:00:59,231 --> 00:01:01,233
people's shit
for a living.
30
00:01:01,268 --> 00:01:02,648
Al, this is dumb.
31
00:01:02,683 --> 00:01:04,305
You don't need to prove
yourself to these morons.
32
00:01:04,340 --> 00:01:05,306
Do a science question.
33
00:01:05,341 --> 00:01:06,825
-Okay.
-Okay, fine.
34
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:09,897
Which scientific theory
explains the phenomenon
35
00:01:09,931 --> 00:01:11,001
in which every 18 months,
36
00:01:11,036 --> 00:01:14,074
the sun is blacked out
in the midday sky?
37
00:01:14,108 --> 00:01:17,077
Oh! Anaxagoras' theory
of the solar eclipse!
38
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,423
-Wrong.
-What?!
39
00:01:18,457 --> 00:01:20,010
Brew-Dog Crew, would you
like to venture a guess?
40
00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:21,426
-If you think you know it...
-Okay, I don't know.
41
00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:23,600
Uh, well...
42
00:01:23,635 --> 00:01:27,294
You know, sometimes,
uh, the devil gets horny
43
00:01:27,328 --> 00:01:29,917
for the sun 'cause they're
both made of fire.
44
00:01:29,951 --> 00:01:32,126
Well, some -- sometimes he --
he flies up there and he --
45
00:01:32,161 --> 00:01:34,715
and he the sun so hard
that all the fire in it --
46
00:01:34,749 --> 00:01:36,303
it goes out.
47
00:01:36,337 --> 00:01:37,994
-Correct!
-Aw!
48
00:01:40,169 --> 00:01:41,411
Come on!
49
00:01:41,446 --> 00:01:43,310
That's 100 points
to the Brew-Dog Crew!
50
00:01:43,344 --> 00:01:44,932
-Whoo!
-I think it's pretty clear
51
00:01:44,966 --> 00:01:47,762
who the smartest people
in Lower Murkford are.
52
00:01:47,797 --> 00:01:50,593
-Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug!
-Yeah!
53
00:01:52,629 --> 00:01:56,599
♪ I've gone down
that road again ♪
54
00:01:56,633 --> 00:01:58,566
♪ I've been there before
55
00:01:58,601 --> 00:02:00,982
♪ Though want to know more
56
00:02:01,017 --> 00:02:03,778
♪ It's always been
57
00:02:26,111 --> 00:02:28,148
Boy, I gotta say, honey,
58
00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:32,876
that parking brake you invented
for our cart is brilliant.
59
00:02:32,911 --> 00:02:36,397
And the beauty of it
is you can't even see it.
60
00:02:36,432 --> 00:02:39,159
You know what's funny --
no one will ever know
61
00:02:39,193 --> 00:02:42,127
what a smart idea
you had.
62
00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,647
Yeah. No one.
63
00:02:45,682 --> 00:02:46,925
Man: Ohh!
64
00:02:51,343 --> 00:02:54,381
Excuse me. Excuse me.
Coming through.
65
00:02:54,415 --> 00:02:55,589
What happened?
66
00:02:55,623 --> 00:02:57,487
Oh, my God,
it was a freak accident.
67
00:02:57,522 --> 00:02:59,972
Ted was just, like,
minding his own business,
68
00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:01,181
pulling the horse's tail,
69
00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:02,734
screaming,
"Yucca, yucca, yucca,"
70
00:03:02,768 --> 00:03:04,908
when out of nowhere, the horse
kicked him in the face.
71
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:11,708
Pretty bad wound.
I should...apply some pressure.
72
00:03:11,743 --> 00:03:13,917
Oh, stop.
Get out of the way.
73
00:03:13,952 --> 00:03:14,987
Let the doctor handle it.
74
00:03:15,022 --> 00:03:22,098
Looks like she's already
got it covered.
75
00:03:22,132 --> 00:03:23,306
Dr. Goodman.
76
00:03:23,341 --> 00:03:24,652
Alexandra.
77
00:03:24,687 --> 00:03:26,896
I was just trying to stanch
the blood flow.
78
00:03:26,930 --> 00:03:29,174
Yeah? Where'd you learn
how to do that?
79
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,762
Oh, uh, well,
I found a couple pages
80
00:03:30,796 --> 00:03:32,764
of an old medical textbook
in a garbage dump.
81
00:03:32,798 --> 00:03:35,180
So I guess I just picked up
a thing or two.
82
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:37,009
You know, we could use
a smart person like you
83
00:03:37,044 --> 00:03:38,459
at the medical center.
84
00:03:38,494 --> 00:03:43,809
Would you be interested
in a job?
85
00:03:43,844 --> 00:03:45,397
I think I would.
86
00:03:45,432 --> 00:03:49,090
Well, in that case,
welcome aboard, doctor.
87
00:03:54,441 --> 00:03:55,821
-You called for me?
-Yes!
88
00:03:55,856 --> 00:03:58,824
We have an emergency.
Henry the Duck has escaped!
89
00:03:58,859 --> 00:03:59,998
We have to find him.
90
00:04:00,032 --> 00:04:02,449
Summon the Royal Army,
tell them to search the Earth!
91
00:04:02,483 --> 00:04:04,485
Uh, you own over
a hundred ducks, buddy.
92
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:06,142
Just play with one
of the other ones.
93
00:04:06,176 --> 00:04:08,489
No, but I want thatone!
94
00:04:08,524 --> 00:04:10,767
Why can't I have
this one thing?!
95
00:04:10,802 --> 00:04:13,287
I ask for so little!
96
00:04:15,116 --> 00:04:18,637
Prince, the answer
is no, okay?
97
00:04:21,191 --> 00:04:22,434
I've run off!
98
00:04:22,469 --> 00:04:24,712
Ugh! Damn it!
99
00:04:24,747 --> 00:04:28,233
Oh, Mr. Worm,
you're my only friend.
100
00:04:34,860 --> 00:04:35,965
Welp,
101
00:04:35,999 --> 00:04:38,657
back to being alone
and having nothing.
102
00:04:54,915 --> 00:04:57,952
Wow!
103
00:04:57,987 --> 00:05:00,369
I can't believe it.
104
00:05:00,403 --> 00:05:03,613
My daughter the doctor.
I'm so proud.
105
00:05:03,648 --> 00:05:05,166
Thanks, Dad.
106
00:05:05,201 --> 00:05:07,237
Gotta say,
I'm kinda nervous.
107
00:05:07,272 --> 00:05:08,169
What if I fail?
108
00:05:08,204 --> 00:05:09,447
At least you're trying.
109
00:05:09,481 --> 00:05:11,621
Most people in this town
just punch the clock,
110
00:05:11,656 --> 00:05:14,072
but you're doing
something you believe in.
111
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,005
Thanks, Mags.
112
00:05:16,039 --> 00:05:20,112
Okay. Here I go.
113
00:05:23,495 --> 00:05:24,807
Go, Doctor!
Go, Doctor!
114
00:05:24,841 --> 00:05:25,808
She's a doctor.
115
00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:26,705
Dr. Al!
116
00:05:26,740 --> 00:05:27,465
Her name's Al.
117
00:05:27,499 --> 00:05:29,087
My daughter's a doctor.
118
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,296
Her name is Dr. Al!
119
00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,642
Welcome, Mr. Shoemaker.
120
00:05:32,677 --> 00:05:34,541
This is my colleague,
Dr. Alexandra.
121
00:05:34,575 --> 00:05:36,094
-Hello.
-Hello.
122
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,440
What seems to be the problem?
123
00:05:37,475 --> 00:05:39,925
Well, I've had
this stuffy nose
124
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,237
for the last few days, now.
125
00:05:41,271 --> 00:05:44,551
Aha!
That's a very common ailment.
126
00:05:44,585 --> 00:05:47,174
Typical treatment for stuffiness
of the nose region
127
00:05:47,208 --> 00:05:51,420
is we will have put leaches
all over your penis,
128
00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:54,940
up and down, all over it,
and your testicles, too.
129
00:05:54,975 --> 00:05:59,876
Uh, and that will distract
the mucus fairies,
130
00:05:59,911 --> 00:06:03,466
uh, from their dancing
and their stomping.
131
00:06:03,501 --> 00:06:06,573
And you have to
drink your pee.
132
00:06:06,607 --> 00:06:08,333
-My own pee?
-Yes.
133
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,404
Oh. How much?
134
00:06:10,439 --> 00:06:11,785
All of it.
135
00:06:11,819 --> 00:06:13,649
Don't drop a drip.
Everything that comes out,
136
00:06:13,683 --> 00:06:15,236
just stick it right back
in your mouth.
137
00:06:15,271 --> 00:06:16,928
In fact, you'd be best suited
to just kick your legs
138
00:06:16,962 --> 00:06:19,275
over your head
and piss in your mouth
139
00:06:19,309 --> 00:06:21,173
for the rest of your life.
140
00:06:21,208 --> 00:06:22,727
Huh.
141
00:06:22,761 --> 00:06:23,935
Alright.
142
00:06:23,969 --> 00:06:26,144
Alright.
Consider yourself doctored.
143
00:06:27,214 --> 00:06:29,147
Uh, Dr. Goodman?
144
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:30,631
I'm sorry to interrupt.
145
00:06:30,666 --> 00:06:34,635
Um, are you sure that this
is the best procedure
146
00:06:34,670 --> 00:06:37,983
for a stuffy nose?
I...
147
00:06:40,434 --> 00:06:41,470
Who's the doctor here?
148
00:06:41,504 --> 00:06:43,057
Where is he?
149
00:06:43,092 --> 00:06:44,611
It's my first day.
I...
150
00:06:44,645 --> 00:06:48,546
Yeah. Can I consult with you
in private, Dr. Alexandra?
151
00:06:48,580 --> 00:06:50,996
Yeah.
152
00:06:51,031 --> 00:06:53,620
Just relax.
153
00:07:01,455 --> 00:07:03,802
I have
no idea what I'm doing.
154
00:07:03,837 --> 00:07:04,700
What?
155
00:07:04,734 --> 00:07:06,322
I don't know
what I'm doing.
156
00:07:07,668 --> 00:07:09,946
What?
157
00:07:09,981 --> 00:07:12,811
Help me!
158
00:07:14,848 --> 00:07:16,090
Okay. Just -- Okay.
159
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,229
Just -- I want to
get this straight.
160
00:07:17,264 --> 00:07:18,921
You --
You're a total fraud?
161
00:07:18,955 --> 00:07:21,337
It didn't start
that way, okay?
162
00:07:21,371 --> 00:07:22,752
A few years ago,
I had this idea
163
00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:26,446
that I could fix people's bodies
using medicine.
164
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,171
Sounded great, right?
I pitched it to investors.
165
00:07:28,206 --> 00:07:29,483
They went nuts.
166
00:07:29,518 --> 00:07:31,347
And, sure, yeah,
the science wasn't there,
167
00:07:31,381 --> 00:07:34,626
but I figured fake it
till you make it, right?
168
00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:35,800
Cut to now.
169
00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:38,043
I still haven't figured
this shit out!
170
00:07:38,078 --> 00:07:40,045
And the patients
keep coming!
171
00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,151
Dr. Goodman,
this is wrong.
172
00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:44,602
You need to stop
doing this.
173
00:07:44,636 --> 00:07:45,534
I can't.
174
00:07:45,568 --> 00:07:46,500
Why not?
175
00:07:46,535 --> 00:07:49,745
Because I'm a weak man.
176
00:07:53,127 --> 00:07:55,923
I once made a man with the flu
eat his own dick.
177
00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:59,479
-Oh, no.
-Oh, my God.
178
00:08:02,033 --> 00:08:04,311
You there.
Where did you get that duck?
179
00:08:04,345 --> 00:08:06,106
Uh, what, you mean Bucket?
180
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:08,108
Uh, I found him.
181
00:08:08,142 --> 00:08:09,730
It was a miracle.
182
00:08:09,765 --> 00:08:13,320
You know, until he came along,
my entire life, I had nothing.
183
00:08:13,354 --> 00:08:17,738
And now I have this one little
thing that makes me happy.
184
00:08:17,773 --> 00:08:19,878
I'm so...
185
00:08:19,913 --> 00:08:21,466
I'm so grateful.
186
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,642
Vexler, make the dirty man
give Henry back to me.
187
00:08:24,676 --> 00:08:25,988
Alright, how much?
188
00:08:26,022 --> 00:08:28,059
Oh, no,
Bucket's not for sale.
189
00:08:28,093 --> 00:08:30,993
-Trick him.
-Now, hold on there, pal.
190
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:33,167
I'm not just some rube,
you know?
191
00:08:33,202 --> 00:08:35,411
You might be some slick-talking
castle guy,
192
00:08:35,445 --> 00:08:39,449
but I've got one thing
you don't -- street smarts.
193
00:08:39,484 --> 00:08:41,348
-You see this magic egg?
-I'm listening.
194
00:08:41,382 --> 00:08:43,902
You could keep that one duck,
or you could take this egg,
195
00:08:43,937 --> 00:08:46,456
and when it hatches,
you will have...
196
00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:47,492
four ducks.
197
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:49,632
And one of them
will be Bucket?
198
00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:53,809
Oh, man, wow. Are you sure
you feel good about this?
199
00:08:53,843 --> 00:08:57,467
You're right. He may try and
follow us and steal Henry back.
200
00:08:57,502 --> 00:08:58,468
Trick him further.
201
00:08:58,503 --> 00:09:00,988
Yes, one of them
will be Bucket,
202
00:09:01,023 --> 00:09:02,956
but only if you
sit on this egg
203
00:09:02,990 --> 00:09:05,821
for a really,
really long time.
204
00:09:05,855 --> 00:09:08,893
Do I haveto be naked?
205
00:09:08,927 --> 00:09:11,999
I mean...
206
00:09:12,034 --> 00:09:13,656
I guess?
207
00:09:13,691 --> 00:09:14,830
Sold!
208
00:09:24,771 --> 00:09:28,395
Finally, one piece
of good fortune in my life.
209
00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,228
-So, the doctor's a phony?
-Yep.
210
00:09:34,263 --> 00:09:36,576
And I guess I should have
suspected something
211
00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:38,129
when he hired me
off the street
212
00:09:38,163 --> 00:09:39,993
without checking
my credentials
213
00:09:40,027 --> 00:09:41,270
or even knowing
my full name.
214
00:09:41,304 --> 00:09:44,169
Yeah, that was a red flag.
215
00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:45,343
So, what are
you gonna do now?
216
00:09:45,377 --> 00:09:47,517
Well, I'm gonna quit,
obviously,
217
00:09:47,552 --> 00:09:50,141
and then I'm gonna
blow the whistle on him.
218
00:09:50,175 --> 00:09:52,143
I mean, the guy
is a total con artist.
219
00:09:52,177 --> 00:09:55,422
I need to tell people that this
whole doctor thing's a sham.
220
00:09:55,456 --> 00:09:59,219
Hi-eee!
We just wanted to come over
221
00:09:59,253 --> 00:10:00,945
and say congrats
on the big news.
222
00:10:00,979 --> 00:10:02,394
What big news?
223
00:10:02,429 --> 00:10:05,052
Oh, your doctor stuff
got you in the Time 100.
224
00:10:05,087 --> 00:10:06,813
What's the Time 100?
225
00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:09,574
I scan the mists of time
and divine
226
00:10:09,609 --> 00:10:14,130
which 100 souls
have the most buzz!
227
00:10:14,165 --> 00:10:15,960
Whoa!
That's crazy!
228
00:10:15,994 --> 00:10:19,101
Everyone's talking about you.
You're, like, a celebrity.
229
00:10:19,135 --> 00:10:21,448
Wesley Pervert even
rated your feet.
230
00:10:21,482 --> 00:10:23,553
7.5.
231
00:10:23,588 --> 00:10:25,417
Guys, listen, I, um --
232
00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:28,489
I need to come clean about
the whole doctor thing.
233
00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:29,974
Wait. Stop.
234
00:10:30,008 --> 00:10:33,218
Uh, first, I need to come clean.
235
00:10:33,253 --> 00:10:35,462
Al, I know I've been really
hard on you in the past,
236
00:10:35,496 --> 00:10:39,880
but the truth is,
deep down...
237
00:10:39,915 --> 00:10:42,642
...I was jealous.
238
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:44,885
I mean, you're so smart,
239
00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:46,438
and I think I always knew
that someday
240
00:10:46,473 --> 00:10:49,649
you would accomplish things
I could never dream of.
241
00:10:49,683 --> 00:10:50,960
This is proof.
242
00:10:50,995 --> 00:10:56,656
Yeah, it's almost like
you won, you know?
243
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,312
Sorry. Um,
244
00:10:58,347 --> 00:11:01,626
you were gonna say something
about being a doctor?
245
00:11:01,661 --> 00:11:04,974
Uh, I...
246
00:11:05,009 --> 00:11:06,804
forget.
247
00:11:06,838 --> 00:11:10,221
Oh.
Well, here's to Doctor Al!
248
00:11:10,255 --> 00:11:13,880
Yeah, Doc-tor Al!
249
00:11:30,517 --> 00:11:32,795
You called for me?
250
00:11:32,830 --> 00:11:34,486
Something's wrong.
251
00:11:34,521 --> 00:11:36,730
I can't stop thinking about
that dirty man we tricked
252
00:11:36,765 --> 00:11:38,249
and left for dead
in the woods.
253
00:11:38,283 --> 00:11:42,460
And now I have this strange,
painful feeling in my stomach.
254
00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:43,875
You don't think
he infected me
255
00:11:43,910 --> 00:11:45,256
with some poor-person disease,
do you?
256
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:48,880
I think what you're feeling
is guilt.
257
00:11:48,915 --> 00:11:50,675
I-I'm not familiar.
258
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,402
It's this feeling
you sometimes have
259
00:11:53,436 --> 00:11:55,680
when you do something bad
to someone.
260
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,165
Oh, do you think I did something
bad to the man in the woods?
261
00:11:58,200 --> 00:11:59,511
Oh, yeah, it was
super up.
262
00:11:59,546 --> 00:12:01,651
I mean, that duck was
all he had, and --
263
00:12:01,686 --> 00:12:02,825
and you took it from him,
264
00:12:02,860 --> 00:12:04,068
even though you have
a hundred ducks,
265
00:12:04,102 --> 00:12:05,310
and then you left him
sitting alone,
266
00:12:05,345 --> 00:12:08,141
naked, on a rock.
It's psycho.
267
00:12:08,175 --> 00:12:09,142
Hmm.
268
00:12:11,972 --> 00:12:14,457
Okay.
269
00:12:14,492 --> 00:12:17,046
Well, make the guilt
go away, please.
270
00:12:17,081 --> 00:12:20,325
Mm, I think you need
to do that yourself.
271
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,672
How?
272
00:12:22,707 --> 00:12:29,507
Well...
273
00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:32,406
You took something from him
and now you feel bad.
274
00:12:32,441 --> 00:12:37,964
So, in order to feel better,
you should...?
275
00:12:37,998 --> 00:12:39,482
Just kill him.
276
00:12:39,517 --> 00:12:42,658
Alright, I'm gonna take
some opium and go to bed.
277
00:12:56,465 --> 00:12:58,639
Henry,
why aren't you eating?
278
00:13:00,607 --> 00:13:05,439
Henry?
279
00:13:05,474 --> 00:13:06,509
Bucket?
280
00:13:13,309 --> 00:13:15,967
-So, you're not quitting.
-Well, I was going to,
281
00:13:16,002 --> 00:13:17,072
but then I realized
Dr. Goodman's
282
00:13:17,106 --> 00:13:18,625
actually got
some great ideas.
283
00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:20,592
And I mean, yeah, the science
isn't fully there yet,
284
00:13:20,627 --> 00:13:23,147
but I think if we just
keep working at it,
285
00:13:23,181 --> 00:13:24,424
we can really help people.
286
00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:25,977
Oh, so it's about
helping people.
287
00:13:26,012 --> 00:13:27,427
'Cause it seemed like it
was just about impressing
288
00:13:27,461 --> 00:13:29,084
Mary Baker
and her idiot friends.
289
00:13:29,118 --> 00:13:32,052
What?! No!
No, it is not about that.
290
00:13:32,087 --> 00:13:33,502
Come on, this is something
I believe in.
291
00:13:33,536 --> 00:13:35,262
You'll see.
Me and Dr. Goodman --
292
00:13:35,297 --> 00:13:38,403
we're gonna change the world.
293
00:13:39,335 --> 00:13:40,681
Dr. Goodman!
294
00:13:40,716 --> 00:13:41,855
Snap out of it!
295
00:13:41,890 --> 00:13:43,788
We need to
figure out medicine now.
296
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,790
You don't think
I've tried?
297
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,827
It's impossible!
298
00:13:47,861 --> 00:13:52,107
I mean, tell me what the
this thing is here, huh?
299
00:13:52,141 --> 00:13:55,455
What the
am I looking at right now?
300
00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:57,595
This big thing
made of bones?
301
00:13:57,629 --> 00:14:01,323
Okay, let's just start with
the easy patients, yeah?
302
00:14:01,357 --> 00:14:02,565
Okay.
303
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:04,774
Like, uh, this guy --
He just has a headache.
304
00:14:04,809 --> 00:14:08,261
Headache. Yeah. No, I have an --
I have an -- I have an idea.
305
00:14:08,295 --> 00:14:11,851
Okay, great.
What is it?
306
00:14:11,885 --> 00:14:13,783
We could kill ourselves.What?!
307
00:14:13,818 --> 00:14:17,960
Yeah, blow our brains
out, take the easy way.
308
00:14:17,995 --> 00:14:19,479
-Ohh!
-Get it together, man!
309
00:14:19,513 --> 00:14:21,584
Okay, we are in too
deep to quit!
310
00:14:21,619 --> 00:14:25,071
We just -- We just gotta
fake it until we make it!
311
00:14:25,105 --> 00:14:27,728
Alright, you're right.
these people.
312
00:14:27,763 --> 00:14:29,282
If they're dumb enough
to fall for this shit,
313
00:14:29,316 --> 00:14:30,800
they deserve what they get.
314
00:14:30,835 --> 00:14:33,907
Yoo-hoo?
315
00:14:33,942 --> 00:14:37,152
Dad?
316
00:14:37,186 --> 00:14:38,670
What are you doing here?
317
00:14:38,705 --> 00:14:40,258
We have a little situation.
318
00:14:40,293 --> 00:14:42,502
I found your brother
naked in the woods,
319
00:14:42,536 --> 00:14:45,574
and, uh, he seems to have
caught a bit of a chill.
320
00:14:45,608 --> 00:14:47,576
Normally, I would just put him
in front of the fire,
321
00:14:47,610 --> 00:14:48,680
but then I remembered
322
00:14:48,715 --> 00:14:50,613
we've got a famous doctor
in the family.
323
00:14:50,648 --> 00:14:52,650
So I figured I'd check
with the expert.
324
00:14:52,684 --> 00:14:55,101
Well, you certainly came
to the right place
325
00:14:55,135 --> 00:14:59,036
'cause we're real doctors
with real medicine knowledge.
326
00:14:59,070 --> 00:15:01,072
Great!
Well, what do you suggest?
327
00:15:01,107 --> 00:15:03,385
Well, due to the client's
cold temperature,
328
00:15:03,419 --> 00:15:07,907
I suggest we cut off
his balls, and...
329
00:15:07,941 --> 00:15:09,978
you should eat your balls.
330
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:12,566
Whoa!
VIP treatment!
331
00:15:12,601 --> 00:15:14,568
-Pays to have connections, huh?
332
00:15:14,603 --> 00:15:18,607
Yeah!
Thanks, Al.
333
00:15:18,641 --> 00:15:20,989
Let's get you in there.
334
00:15:21,023 --> 00:15:23,957
Alright, I guess,
let's go kill this guy.
335
00:15:30,619 --> 00:15:32,034
Hey, the doctor is in!
336
00:15:32,069 --> 00:15:34,968
Hey, dad, I was thinking,
what if you, um,
337
00:15:35,003 --> 00:15:37,246
instead of doing this procedure,
just take Mikey home?
338
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:40,111
You can just put him
by the fire, and he'll be fine.
339
00:15:40,146 --> 00:15:42,320
But the doctor said we should
feed him his own balls.
340
00:15:42,355 --> 00:15:43,735
He was clear, Al.
341
00:15:43,770 --> 00:15:48,602
Yeah, um, Dr. Goodman
is feeling a little off today.
342
00:15:48,637 --> 00:15:50,915
A hard rain's gonna come.
343
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,504
And it's gonna wash
all you bastards
344
00:15:53,538 --> 00:15:56,679
down the drain.
345
00:15:56,714 --> 00:15:58,233
He seems
pretty sharp to me.
346
00:15:58,267 --> 00:16:00,718
But, hey, if he's not up for it,
maybe you can fill in.
347
00:16:00,752 --> 00:16:04,446
I mean,
you're a doctor, right?
348
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:07,138
No, Dad. I'm not.
349
00:16:07,173 --> 00:16:08,795
And neither is he.
350
00:16:08,829 --> 00:16:11,660
This whole thing's a scam.
351
00:16:11,694 --> 00:16:13,973
Aw, geez. Well...
352
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:21,049
I'm glad you told us,
but what about everybody else?
353
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:23,465
You're right.
354
00:16:23,499 --> 00:16:25,605
I've got to put a stop
to this.
355
00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:26,847
I'll...see you guys at home.
356
00:16:26,882 --> 00:16:28,228
Where are you going?
357
00:16:28,263 --> 00:16:29,574
To the media.
358
00:16:29,609 --> 00:16:31,576
Hear ye, hear ye!
359
00:16:31,611 --> 00:16:33,233
I am the Town Crier!
360
00:16:33,268 --> 00:16:37,237
And you're watching
"Good Morning Lower Murkford!"
361
00:16:44,141 --> 00:16:46,764
My guest today
is a rising star
362
00:16:46,798 --> 00:16:49,042
in the medical industry
here to talk to us
363
00:16:49,077 --> 00:16:51,010
about her incredible work
in --
364
00:16:51,044 --> 00:16:55,048
Actually, um, it's --
it's actually, uh --
365
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:56,463
I'm -- I'm here to out
Goodman as a fraud,
366
00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:57,568
and that it's actually
a bad thing.
367
00:16:57,602 --> 00:16:58,948
Okay, yeah, I gotcha.
368
00:16:58,983 --> 00:17:00,122
Okay.
369
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,575
My guest today
is a whistleblower
370
00:17:04,609 --> 00:17:08,061
with a stunning
revelation.
371
00:17:08,096 --> 00:17:11,547
The Lower Murkford Center
for Medicine and Haircuts
372
00:17:11,582 --> 00:17:13,239
is a scam.
373
00:17:13,273 --> 00:17:14,895
I knew it!
374
00:17:14,930 --> 00:17:18,623
Dr. Goodman is a fraud.
375
00:17:18,658 --> 00:17:21,247
And...
376
00:17:21,281 --> 00:17:22,593
so am I.
377
00:17:30,428 --> 00:17:34,087
Oh, my God,
that was so hard to watch.
378
00:17:34,122 --> 00:17:36,296
Are you just, like,
mortified?
379
00:17:36,331 --> 00:17:37,849
I would be dying.
380
00:17:37,884 --> 00:17:41,267
So, what's the plan now? Do you
just go back to shoveling shit?
381
00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:43,269
Yep, just like before.
382
00:17:43,303 --> 00:17:45,892
Yeah, but now everybody,
like, really hates you,
383
00:17:45,926 --> 00:17:46,962
even the Oracle.
384
00:17:46,996 --> 00:17:50,241
-Bitch!
-Whoa!
385
00:17:50,276 --> 00:17:51,242
-Ohh.
-Shut up!
386
00:17:51,277 --> 00:17:52,278
-Ow!
-Burn.
387
00:17:52,312 --> 00:17:54,556
Forget these idiots.
I'll grab you a beer.
388
00:17:54,590 --> 00:17:57,214
Thanks, Maggie.
389
00:18:08,501 --> 00:18:09,847
Ah, there you are.
390
00:18:09,881 --> 00:18:11,987
I've been looking
all over for you.
391
00:18:12,021 --> 00:18:14,300
Why?
392
00:18:14,334 --> 00:18:19,305
To give you this.
393
00:18:19,339 --> 00:18:20,720
The egg isn't real.
394
00:18:20,754 --> 00:18:22,894
It's just a regular rock.
395
00:18:22,929 --> 00:18:24,931
What, you tricked me?
396
00:18:24,965 --> 00:18:27,830
Why --
Why would you do that?
397
00:18:27,865 --> 00:18:29,142
Well, to be honest,
dirty man,
398
00:18:29,177 --> 00:18:30,592
I think it's because
sometimes
399
00:18:30,626 --> 00:18:32,318
I can be a little...
400
00:18:32,352 --> 00:18:33,733
selfish.
401
00:18:33,767 --> 00:18:36,632
I'm trying not to be
that way anymore.
402
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:38,151
I-I still have my blind spots,
403
00:18:38,186 --> 00:18:40,912
but hopefully
this is a good start.
404
00:18:40,947 --> 00:18:42,776
Well, thanks so much
for bringing me back Bucket.
405
00:18:42,811 --> 00:18:44,433
I-I really appreciate it.
406
00:18:44,468 --> 00:18:47,160
I'd shake your hand,
but my limbs are all stiff.
407
00:18:47,195 --> 00:18:48,541
I'm still pretty cold.
408
00:18:48,575 --> 00:18:50,232
Really?
409
00:18:50,267 --> 00:18:53,546
Huh. I'm quite warm.
410
00:18:53,580 --> 00:18:55,927
I have two coats on.
411
00:18:55,962 --> 00:18:57,239
Sort of hot, actually.
412
00:18:59,310 --> 00:19:01,140
Wait a second.
413
00:19:07,318 --> 00:19:10,666
I can just carry this one.
414
00:19:10,701 --> 00:19:12,427
Yes.
415
00:19:14,325 --> 00:19:15,257
See ya.
416
00:19:15,292 --> 00:19:16,707
Okay, bye!
417
00:19:21,229 --> 00:19:24,991
-Wow, shit week.
-Yeah. But whatever.
418
00:19:25,025 --> 00:19:27,304
At least I can just put it
behind me now.
419
00:19:27,338 --> 00:19:28,891
Next question.
420
00:19:28,926 --> 00:19:31,998
This young psychopath
recently attempted to swindle
421
00:19:32,032 --> 00:19:33,172
all of Lower Murkford
422
00:19:33,206 --> 00:19:36,244
by claiming to be
a medical doctor
423
00:19:36,278 --> 00:19:39,626
when she was, in fact, dumb.
424
00:19:39,661 --> 00:19:43,216
Yeah, that's me,
Al Shitshoveler, right here.
425
00:19:43,251 --> 00:19:44,769
Correct!
426
00:19:44,804 --> 00:19:48,325
100 points to the horrible
person sitting over there.
427
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:50,189
I'm proud of you, Al.
Cheers.
428
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:51,949
-Cheers.
-Cheers.
429
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:56,229
Listen, I'm sorry
for what I said before.
430
00:19:56,264 --> 00:19:59,301
You know, the b-word.
431
00:19:59,336 --> 00:20:01,545
That was really
not cool of me.
432
00:20:01,579 --> 00:20:05,238
Anyway, friends again?
433
00:20:05,273 --> 00:20:08,655
I mean, we were never
really friends, Oracle.
434
00:20:08,690 --> 00:20:11,831
Please?
435
00:20:11,865 --> 00:20:12,797
Sure.
436
00:20:12,832 --> 00:20:14,005
Okay, Oracle.
437
00:20:14,040 --> 00:20:15,731
-Cheers!
-Cheers.
438
00:20:16,767 --> 00:20:18,907
Hey, whatever happened
to the doctor?
439
00:20:18,941 --> 00:20:22,013
I don't know.
440
00:20:22,048 --> 00:20:24,602
Fresh start. Skip town.
441
00:20:24,637 --> 00:20:28,123
Whole new look,
whole new life.
442
00:20:28,157 --> 00:20:29,952
Hello, I am Andrew.
443
00:20:29,987 --> 00:20:31,437
I am an architect.
444
00:20:31,471 --> 00:20:33,818
Build a house for you?
Why, of course.
445
00:20:33,853 --> 00:20:35,234
That is my job.
446
00:20:36,821 --> 00:20:38,720
Oh, that's good.
447
00:20:45,485 --> 00:20:48,385
Off to Italy, baby!
448
00:20:48,419 --> 00:20:50,904
♪ Cut my hair
and changed my face ♪
449
00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:53,769
♪ I'm learning how to forget
that place ♪
450
00:20:53,804 --> 00:20:55,944
♪ Buried my name
to find a new ♪
451
00:20:55,978 --> 00:20:58,981
♪ And now they call me
Lacy Loo ♪
452
00:20:59,016 --> 00:21:01,777
♪ Ow! Lacy Loo
453
00:21:01,812 --> 00:21:04,263
♪ Ahhh
454
00:21:14,411 --> 00:21:15,619
♪ Kept my head in the clouds
455
00:21:15,653 --> 00:21:17,137
♪ And my skin still tough
456
00:21:17,172 --> 00:21:20,520
♪ But my knees are weak
in the city of love ♪
31833
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